Fear& - The Return Of WillNeff, Cybertruck Death Trap & More | Fear&JurassicPark

Episode Date: December 4, 2023

Willneff is back. Your 3 gay fathers just wanna sit and talk to you for an hour, please have a seat. ✨ BONUS CONTENT ✨ PATREON - https://www.patreon.com/FearAnd🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS - https://linktr.ee/fearand❤️ follow Fear&! ❤️Hasan: https://twitter.com/HasanthehunWill: https://twitter.com/TheWillNeffQT: https://twitter.com/QTCinderellaAustin: https://twitter.com/AustinontwitterMarche: https://twitter.com/MarcheFear&: https://twitter.com/FearAndPod00:00:00 - Intro00:01:48 - Cybertruck vs Cool EVS00:07:55 - Austin crashes his car like a 00:10:35 - cmon man..00:12:00 - Austin is unathletic 00:14:45 - Austin is a daddy00:23:30 - please just change the subject00:25:35 - im reporting hasan to hr00:28:00 - hasan has no self control00:30:30 - Austin tries to larp as a fat kid again00:33:55 - dogs will live forever pog00:36:00 - what if we didnt do that00:38:15 - cybertruck death machine00:41:00 - Austin's spotify wrapped (lmao)00:49:09 - Austin is a murderer00:52:06 - Austin wants to do Jurassic Park without realizing it00:54:00 - The Dinosaur Segment?01:00:00 - Outro / Lingling off a bean fr Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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For free assistance, call the Connex Ontario helpline at 1-866-531-2600. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. yeah we are ready we are back welcome to fear and y'all love that intro yeah welcome to fear and everybody we're back here it's a beautiful day in sunny los angeles california And we got stuff to talk about. I just realized that you're wearing the shoes that I won from the Austin show that I gave you as a gift because they were too small for me. I think they're fake. I'm also almost certain that they're fake.

Honestly, they probably are, but I got paid a lot of money to give them to you. I'm looking at it right now. They're the off-whites, right? They're the off-white shoes. Yep. The fugazi ones. There was a bunch of giveaways on a stream. You still owe me a watch, too.

A Jordwood watch? Yeah. Oh, that's long gone. Oh, dude, he owes me so much. You just never, there's no way. No, I asked you many times. Look, you can have my watch. Thank you.

Deal. I'll bring it to you next podcast. And the jacket. The jacket wasn't a part of the deal. The jacket was never supposed to be yours. I stole a jacket from Hassan. For some reason, Will feels compelled that that's his jacket. He thinks it's his jacket.

I bought the jacket for Connor originally. And then once Connor was done wearing it, Will was supposed to have it. Yes. And maybe engage in like a sharing. like a sherry yeah you don't want it well it's cranberry juice all over it oh okay it's terrible it's terribly stained almost unrecognizable i guess you should buy a new one then right no yeah that was a once that was a one-time piece they don't make them anymore no they do i i've seen it oh have you really listen

yeah i don't know enough grilling spit roasting this guy. He gets enough of it. I have a topic I want to talk to you specifically about. And I want to know your take. I'm here. I'm ready. You're big time anti-cyber truck. Oh, yeah, I am. Oh, I'm anti-cyber truck too. Why is that?

There was a point when I thought it could be cool. That's crazy. They're ugly. No, they're gorgeous. They're not gorgeous. I think they're ugly. No, I am a big time pro toyota helix which is the greatest truck ever crafted sure yeah so this is a cyber truck and and the

test cyber truck is like the quite the opposite of that i love here i'll give you an example of an ev truck that i do like uh the f100 concept if you want to pull that up real quick the f100 concept uh the EV concept is, is an absolute slapper. Like that's a beaut right there. Look at that. That's a gorgeous vehicle. Look at that throwback.

Yeah. That's what I mean. Like that's the type of shit I'm on. When I talk about EVs, like I don't want to see like cyberpunk style, fucking EVs. That's ironic actually. Cause cyberpunk had a lot of old school vehicles,

but that's what I want. I want that. I want a truck is sexy though. I don't sexy like that though that's sexy cyber truck is sexy and it's it's i guess it's a matter of opinion i'm anti-electric vehicle that's interesting yeah i mean i i understand where you're coming from i guess no i think we should support the environment you're like fuck the environment i just think that sometimes if i gotta get somewhere i gotta use gas austin is your sink running right now is my sink running for my cat running for your cat no i did turn it off but my cat okay here's the thing about my cat can i tell you something i got i took everybody's

advice i got an automatic water feeder okay or whatever the hell it is automatic water fountain for my cat my cat still refuses to drink out of it and and goes by the sink and nudges the sink for me to turn it on i listen i just think your cat is a wild animal and as obstinate as it is i think it will drink water before it dies it i i don't know yet it hasn't died yet so i'm sure it i don't i've turned i've stopped using as much water. I probably turn it on half as much as I used to before we move on. So the sink is still running at your house running right now.

Okay. So he hates the environment drop. It's a drop. He hates the environment. We already established that your opinion is null and void. I like EVs. I like EV trucks. Did you know that the Ford F one 50 EV has the capacity to fully power a house for three days?

It was in the ad. Yeah. It was in their ad. I know, but that's like everybody's home for Christmas. It's like, grandma's here. And then the power goes out. It's like, oh God, grandma's respirator. And he goes, don't worry.

And he goes out and it's like, I love that. That's fucking, that's so American. It's so stupid. I love it. it grandma or big iron lung is like smiling at christmas okay so here's so here's what i was trying to say i'm hitting it from both angles i love the big american i love the big american stupid silly truck the f-150 i love the old school pizzazz of the f-100 yeah and i also am a fan of of you know uh the the regular combustion engines uh with the toyota hillocks which is one of the most durable vehicles ever created it won the chadian libyan war um it's it no there's a literal war called the toyota war i didn't know and it was one with uh

with technicals so on that front i feel like cyberpunk the cyberpunk cyber truck doesn't hit any of those it's not a five tool truck it's got a shitty bed um it's it's not even movable like it's it's got like this deep pocket right it's built like a goddamn uh like above ground pool the bed of the truck so it's not very good for utility you're using it for trucking that's your first mistake listen i had a vision okay in the dead of night and it came to me in my sleep like a like a harbinger on the wind and what it told me is this next few years there will be a reboot of back to the future and the car used in place of the delorean will be the tesla cyber truck i'm just a not a tesla fan mark it i mean that could be

the case it's just that like it still wouldn't in my opinion make it cool you're a hipster no no not at all no he said wearing his tie-dye self-merch and his Crocs with fur on them. I can't get on electric. You have the same Crocs. I do. I'm a hipster. I will admit this. I'm dressed like Bill Belichick.

It's not the Honda EV. Show the other Hyundai EV, the Hyundai one. Which one I was looking for? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hyundai EV concepts are also out of control as well. That's the one. That's the fucking one, baby. That's the one. These are the, that's the one. That's the fucking one, baby.

That's the one dude. See, that's sick. That. Yeah. Like I, I want that so bad. Yeah.

I will literally own a pachinko parlor. Yeah. And, and a shit ton of prostitutes. And like, I will. Yes. 100%.

What do you, what do you mean? Don't fuck. Deja vu. I've just been to this place before i'm telling you i come out of that car i got a fat ass fucking pinky ring are you gonna smack the shit out of a triad oh yeah right like for fucking up my territory like you're supposed to know and i say oh my mama and he's dead i smacked him so hard. He died. He didn't even know it. That's amazing. Well, listen, I'm not,

I'm not a wise man, but I do think the cyber truck looks cool. And for me, that's enough. I think I disagree, but that's, I respect your opinion. I don't,

I respect your, but I don't like Tesla's. There's a lot of stuff that I don't like. I mean, that's probably because it's so much faster. Look, your Tesla would. Yeah, of course. Yeah. It's not fair. My, my car is faster than a size. No, it's probably because it's so much faster than your vehicle. Look, your Tesla would... Yeah, of course.

Yeah. It's not fair. My car is faster than Hassan's. No, it's not true. His car is faster than yours. Unfortunately, that's not true. Hassan has his little bitchy Porsche in the... No, unfortunately...

Did you see the Tesla Cybertruck dust the Porsche off the line while towing a Porsche? Wait, really? Oh, my God. I believe it. I mean, it's a... I have to tell you guys something. Was it an EV Porsche or was it a... I don't know. I think it was the 911. It might have? I believe it. I mean, it's a, I tell you guys something. Oh, was it an EV Porsche or was it a, was it a,

I don't know. I think it was the nine. It might've been in the nine 11. So, um, yeah, it does. EVs do dust the,

the combustion engines pretty hard in true gay fashion. Yeah. I got in a car accident. What? Yeah, I got, well, I'm sorry.

I got in a car accident like a homosexual. Yes. Like a homosexual in true gay fashion and there was another gay gentleman son you're not allowed to say that only he's yeah look and it was the most as a question so this is what happened so i first of all i i had another gay gentleman in the car that was helping me i was trying to back out of my drive. Achieve orgasm? No. I know. We weren't fucking at the time.

Okay. I was backing out of my garage, and there was a work truck behind me, and I thought, well, maybe I can get out. So I proceeded to do a 300-point Austin Powers turn, and I get out. The twink in the passenger seat was telling me you're good you're good you're good you're good i took out i swiped the right side of my garage and took out the front right portion of my vehicle so i don't get it so like twinks are bad at direction too like they're

bad off the car he was in the car with me saying you're good and i kept why would he know more than you when he's in the passenger seat it was closer to where we were we could have hit yeah as in as in he he was saying you're good on his side yeah but you weren't good on your side no that was the side i hit oh you were not good no i was not good as my as my my my sensor was going he's like you're good please stop and and so i went and i was like i i thought i cleared it right yeah and and he's like he gets out of the car and he goes anyway the entire front right quarter panel is just white paint just scraped and just dented in oh yeah and i i was like it was the dumbest thing i've ever done because you know all I had to do was tell the guy,

can you move your truck? And instead, I decided to proceed at like a, probably a 90-degree angle out of my garage. That was a perfect storm. You had the ego of a man and the depth perception of a twink. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I wrecked my car. I did a, it was a, they just need to replace the bumper. It's already in the shop.

Maybe without the bumper, it could possibly try and beat either of our cars, but it probably would still lose. Yeah, no, no. Will's car, I'll give Will. Will will torch my car. Will's car is the fastest. Yeah, but yours- Mine is like the third fastest.

Yours would die. No, it is actually. Yours sucks a lot. Considering that it's an electric vehicle, it would still dust you. You have a gay car. Okay. You have a gay car. That's fine, I guess.

Did you, a gay man man just use gay as a derogatory pejorative yeah your car's gay and so are you wearing pink what is happening our podcast is here baby what is happening you gotta bleep that out yeah sorry um so you know what's amazing just the Comptown podcast is making its appeal for your support, we become the Comptown. Yeah, we're just going to start. Wait, is Comptown back? No.

No, no. It's the Adam Friedman show is what he's talking about. Oh, okay, okay. Nick has a stand-up special that came out today. Stavros has his own podcast now called the Stavros Savvy's World. By the way, speaking of which, he's our next guest. Yeah, he's our next guest. Yeah, he's our next guest.

Stavros. Nice. Stavros Halkias coming into town. He taught us how to do the Nearly Nude Calendar. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's the leader. We kind of yoinked that from him.

Yeah. He invented the Nearly Nude Calendar. Oh, he's incredible. I love Stavros. By the way, we look like shit. Oh, do we? All of our images. You think so? Yeah. He invented the nearly nude calendar. He really did. Oh, he's incredible. I love Star Wars. By the way, we look like shit. Oh, do we? All of our images. You think so?

Yeah. I think we look fine. I think they took more time with yours. Oh, and the calendar. I thought you meant right now. I was like, I just got off a plane. A calendar. Okay.

I thought that I looked at all of them. I thought that we all look pretty good in all the photos. I might change one month to just me self-sucking. Yeah, that's a good idea. Oh, so you... Are you saying, like, not enough dick? Would you include your hog in that? I mean, I would do a tasteful angle so that there's no dick.

Okay. Just, like, straight... Like your meme? Like, you would do it like the gif? Wow. Can you touch your toes oh yeah i can't touch my toes what i've been doing a lot of yoga i can barely go past my knees wait try it right now show it on camera that's the craziest thing i've ever what your toes there's no try harder come on get down there what the fuck yeah is there something wrong with you i

mean there is something wrong with you i just i just don't why are you so immobile i don't know i've always been that way i mean they say you should stretch i stretch every day do you not no i well i mean i know you don't because you can't touch your fucking toes no I can't can you okay wait wait hold on and I'm really embarrassed he can't touch his ankles pull up pull up a PT

like evaluation positions maybe that'll come up not YouTube wait wait hold on can I hire somebody to just make me more flexible because you have a personal trainer

I know but he's not a physical therapist it doesn't matter I just want to hire somebody to come stretch me out every day. Here are a couple things you have to be able to figure out. Austin, get up in front of that big camera.

No. I want you to try, turn around, and I want you to try to put, connect your two hands behind your back. One from underneath, one from, turn around, show it to the camera. I can't even do that. So, the flexible person, I mean, that, it gets One from turn around and show it to the camera. I can't even do that. So the, the flexible person,

I mean that it gets harder, the stronger you are, but the flexible person should be able to at least like get in one hand. Let me see. Well, yeah, March, you're frail.

You're frail. Come here. Let me see. Okay. Saying do it. Not bad. All right. The other way around. okay saying do it not bad alright the other way around oh no

oh not bad not bad that's not as bad as a really but you can do see

okay I mean Look I I can also touch Here touch your ankles Your knees are bent Straighten those up

Okay Ooh here now Now give me a little Slide Slide your hands up here Slide your hands up your That was pretty sexy to be honest Hasan do that again but then slide up real slowly like and then like

like slide up real come on fans will love it okay what else happened over the um I flew on a plane and so i got a story for you okay i went on a plane sure as i do and i sat next to this older lady it happens to me a lot i sit next to older women sometimes and i uh i have these bracelets that that fans will give me at twitch con or at name your price yeah as we do we we collect bracelets. And like one of them I have on is the F slur. I like to wear that one. I pick and choose one. Well, somebody gave me one that said papi,

which for those who don't know means daddy in Spanish. For those of you who don't habla espanol. Thank you for clarifying that. I had no idea. Well, there's some people out there that don't know, right? And this woman happened to be one of them. She looks at my bracelet and she's like, what does puppy mean? Okay.

And I was like. That could be much worse than poppy. Yeah, no, she's like, what does puppy mean? I was like, she's like, doesn't that mean dad? Did your children make you that bracelet? That's so sweet. And she didn't see the one that said the f slur no it was hidden but i had to so next thing you know i'm in this like

lengthy conversation talking to this woman about how i have children and they made me bracelets you lied to her why what am i supposed to say just say that your twink made you say it's your nickname no, no. I don't. The first thing I went, she said, did your kids make it for you? I said, yes. You're the George Santos of twink. No.

That's so weird. What am I supposed to? No, I wasn't at a drag show. I just, this glitter hit me in the face as I was running. No, no, no. But it was like, I just had to explain to her. I just didn't want to say, like, she's like, she thought it meant dad. Like, father.

It does mean dad. Not daddy, though. Not in the sexual connotation. They kind of mean the same thing. No, no, no, no, I don't know. Pap, padre is more like. He hit the re. Yeah.

You hear that? Yeah, he rolled his arm. Padre. Padre. Padre. Oh, Dios. Oh, Dios rolled his arm. Padre. Padre. Padre. Oh, Dios. Oh, Dios mio. Dios mio.

Oh, Dios mio. For those who are listening, Padre in Espanol means father. But more so like you would call your dad father. Right? And if you were to call him... Hi, papi. Yeah, you wouldn't say it like that right oh man

so you lied to a woman i did i did tell us about an older an older about your kids uh i i said i think i told her i had a five-year-old okay yeah boy girl what is into soccer what is he into uh i we didn't get that no kaya that's cutie you want me do you want me to improvise no no no what like tell us we didn't get to those conversations she didn't get that. No, Kaya. That's cutie. You want me to improvise? No. No. We didn't get to those conversations. She didn't ask you about your children? No. I feel like old people love children. What would you have done if she asked to see a photo?

I would have said, I don't know. He would have shown his twink. He would have been like, yeah, this is my five-year-old. He's so well built for a five-year-old so well built he's just he just eats real good kids these days you know the ipad generation i don't know what they're putting in the water well he's 23 years old he does ballet can't park a car uh can't even help with the navigation that story that was good oh this one's for you. Okay. Speaking of George Santos,

did you see that they announced they're doing a movie? I did. I'm not, it's the least surprising thing I've heard. Is he going to make money off of this, do you think? No. No, no. I think there's a rule that allows you to make stuff about criminals and then they don't get the likeness.

No, there's a- There's a law. No, there's a parody rule where it's like if your reputation is so destroyed oh no that's a defamation law yeah yeah yeah no what i'm talking about is a different thing there's like a there was like a serial killer i think it was it like son of sam or something it might literally be that where um i'm pretty sure there was a law that was passed in the books I love that George Santos is up there with the son of Sam killer

it's just like if you're a criminal you can't sue to retain your own likeness and like purchase it so you can get money off of it what do you think is next for George Santos dude television prison first,

but then after prison. Oh, prison. I think you should do porn. Who would watch that? No, that's like a parody porn. You watch it one time. You would crank at the George Santos? No, I wouldn't jerk off. I'd watch it for a sport.

That's what I mean. It's like fascination porn. You watch it one time, and then it's over. Yeah, I know. know i wouldn't jerk off to it but i think it'd be interesting yeah but if you don't have a lot of money on only i think he would make a lot of money on only no he wouldn't just to just yeah he would i mean he's so famous he would do it for the one time and then after that everyone would be like unless he went on fucking like like annavar unless he cycled and then became like super shredded one thing you don't know about the game i should use you guys as a life coaching service yeah take anavar deuce do fucking only yeah yeah unless he just no no you only fans you were about to say the

gay community has a lot of like niche interest Every community does. It's not specific to the gay community. He would hit one marker, which is, oh, I'm fascinated. George Santos made a porn. Let me go watch it. I'll do it. It's a one-time thing. He's not getting return customers, dog. Okay, you're right. But I just want him to do it because I want to see what it's like.

Okay, you're just horny in the weirdest ways. I'm not horny for George Santos. You're tearing down both our ideas today. I would fuck George Santos just to say I did. What? I'm sorry, what did you say? Say it again.

Say it again. You know what? I don't think I would. You said you would fuck George Santos. I mean, imagine that. I don't want to. I don't want to. I am. I don't want to.

It's hard. It's hard for me to. I'm imagining everything but that. Aren't there people out there that you would just have sex with just to say you could? Like, I'd have sex with Elton John. Yeah. Elton John is way different than George Santos. Yeah, you're like saying you would fuck the.

I'd fuck with Mitch McConnell. Just, that would ruin his career. Think about that. Wow, he's saying he's slinging dick for America. That's what I'm saying. He's patriotic. He's doing it in a way where he destroys- Think about it, Hasan.

Think about it this way. You're so progressive and leftist. Would you sleep with a prolific republican politician to ruin their career no i when you put it when you put it like that when you put it like that i i kind of get what you're saying what i'm saying that's why i'd sleep i get it it's like espionage now i can't defend the george sanders because he's yeah but like i can't defend george sanders because everybody knows he's gay but like i need to sleep with like yeah no that was just purely horn but you were horny no you you want to fuck george santos you said it is on the record you might have to roll

that one back no no no no no we are not rolling that we no edits i agree with you no edits well i mean do you think that's bad for my image no you want to that you want to be dick deep inside of george santos the way you want to punish him you want to punish dick deep inside of George Santos? The way you say it. You want to punish him? You want to punish him? What if he's more romantic than that? Because he's been a bad boy? No. What's the most horrible person you'd like to have a gay romance with? The most horrible person I'd like to have a gay romance with? Like, who's a shitty person that would ruin their...

Like, I just, like, ruin them by having sex with them. I can't get it up with Ted Cruz. Oh, but you could get it up for another. No, all you have to do is receive. Yeah. Wait, oh, I'm taking it? Yeah, he's taking it. Oh, no way.

George Santos. You think George Santos is a top? I do. If I could ruin Ted Cruz or DeSantis, just humiliate one of them. I don't think George Santos is a top, but I haven't seen his partners. You're typecasting because he did drag. No. You can be a person who does drag and be a top. I'm typecasting because he did drag no you can you can be a a person who

does drag and be a top i'm typecasting because like very something fem tops are very fem tops are very rare exactly they're very rare so it's like george santos does give a little he is a little fem yeah not my i'm really cooking here i'm thinking we could ruin the republican party by sending several gay secret agents. Also, what you're describing has happened so many times and the Republican Party is still standing. They literally get caught not just with age-appropriate

male prostitutes, but age-inappropriate male prostitutes regularly. And it seems like they're still fine. We need to hit them all at once. Wasn't there some statistic that when the Republican National Convention comes into any town, gay porn searches explode? It's the least surprising thing I've heard. But yeah, that makes so much sense.

Who would you have a gay romance with? Who would I have a romance with? I didn't even answer mine, but it's Trump. It's Trump. I mean, what was that going to do to his reputation? Dude, actually, you're right. He might Trump. I mean, what was that going to do to his reputation? Dude, wouldn't... Actually, you're right. He might win.

He might win extra hard. Now America knows my big secret. I'm a homosexual. Yeah, he would win so hard. All that locker room talk was just compensation. I didn't feel adequate. Believe me. Yeah.

Liberals don't want me. Hassan was very sloppy, believe me. Sometimes I't want me hassan was very sloppy believe me sometimes i like reaching across the aisle other times i like reaching underneath called him whiny hank that's right believe me he couldn't even take it believe me yeah very sad first of all i could okay how dare you said my ass is powerful i take big shits oh you. I had this conversation with the art. Who do you have a gay romance with? Who? The leader of North Korea. Oh, yes.

Okay. Okay. That's awesome. Tell me why. We could free a nation. Yeah. If the God King. Do you think your dick is that good?

No, I'm just. I'm just saying. How come he's fucking and I'm bottoming? You just automatically went, he's topping. between the two of you he's he's if you were fucking he would fuck you yeah no absolutely not he would put absolutely not you in the electric i will i am going to stand by no it's a ridiculous take you don't know your ass from your elbow. Hassan. I personally. Sound off in the chat. I personally know that if needed, this is an ass that can go to work.

However, preference-wise, dude, I'm topping. You don't get a preference. I would top Donald Trump. You would top Donald Trump? I've talked about topping Donald Trump. That is a nasty. He's got a fat one. He's got an ass that won't quit. Yeah, he does.

Harsh, pull it up. Pull up Trump's pussy. Let's just take a look at it. No, no, do it. Wait, his pussy or his... No, Trump ass. Like, that's it. What do you mean?

For those of you at home, Harsh put his hands up like this and said, what do I look up here? Wow. Yeah, look, that's an iconic one. All caked up. That's an iconic one. That one is iconic.

Look at that ass, dude. You think if he lost a bunch of weight, he'd lose his butt? Yes. This is, yeah. Yes. This is not. Trump is fat. We should be doing a tier list of, like out of all the politicians who has the best ass.

I like. I like. I like that. Kim Jong-un. That'd be great. So you would free the nation. So you're saying you would liberate North Korea by fucking Kim Jong-un. That's that's my platform.

Your dick is that good. Well, your dick game. I would. I would erode the people's confidence in the glorious later isn't that if i leak one night and kim to all the monitors in north korea oh yeah and i got him on a dog leash you know what i mean what if you just came into power and just kept the dynasty alive i just i just don't change anything he's a swagged out white boy. That's what they need. People of North Korea, I am the glorious.

Yeah, dude. You can say your Kim Il-sung reincarnated. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. So that would mean his dad is fucking his son. Or his granddad is fucking his son. Listen, you don't know how God kings work, okay?

Okay, look. I wasn't know how God, nobody work. Okay. Okay. Look, they, they, I wasn't putting the story together, but no. At Marsh. What was one of your times?

I have, I have, I have a topic. Oh, I have a topic. Uh, I, my family's trying to kill me.

What? I'm my family is trying to, that's a topic. It's not, it is a topic. It is a topic. Dude, dude.

Okay. Okay. Okay. I don't know if you guys have like, I guess you don't have like similar issues. I love my family to death. Obviously, they're the best. Sure. And they've been staying with me. And I usually have like very hard lines on what is allowed and what's not allowed when it comes to the diet stuff.

Okay. And slowly but surely, they have eroded all of those lines. And now... Are you getting fat again? I'm not, but like, I'm noticing that it's like very, it's much harder for me to... We noticed too. Oh, come on.

Don't say that. We were just talking about it. No, I'm doing great on the diet front so far. You walk with a little extra jiggle. Oh my God. Okay, I have body dysmorphia. Stop. I'm just kidding.

We're helping you. No, you're not. with a little extra jiggle oh my god okay i have body dysmorphia stop i'm just kidding so we're helping you no you're not so what has happened is like at first my dad was like of course i'll make you whatever you uh whatever you know you want which is like i have like very strict guidelines on sure what kind of chicken i have and stuff but then slowly but surely it has culminated into this point where like last night we're having dinner it's just totally fucking fatty ass food and on top of that he goes you know what i'm in the mood for a cookie dough cheesecake and he just fucking busted out a cookie dough cheesecake and propped it in front of me and went and looked at me and went listen aren't you in the mood for it too i will say this in his defense it's the fucking holidays yeah if you don't gain

a 10 spot during the holidays i can't can't i can't because like i i've been doing so well i've been doing so well and like as your bulking period i add to my biceps in the holidays you know i mean i i mean that's how you do it i just if i if i was presented in that situation hassan i would just not eat the cheesecake yeah you have so sure i don't that's why i'm like that's why i have different boundaries which my family is not respecting at all order it's like for for him, if someone just brought out heroin. Oh, yeah. Or, yeah, if you were like, hey, I'm swearing off Bussy, okay,

and your family was like, here is a Shawn Mendes impersonator next to a Troye Sivan impersonator. We've greased him up. Oh, yeah, there's no way. And we're going to wrestle for our enjoyment. I mean, that's not even comparable. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. To me.

You've never been a fat kid. To me. One is a cheesecake. A cheesecake. The other is a beautiful man. Yes. I take the cheesecake. Do you not understand how analogies work?

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. What is happening? Hold on. Hold on. See, you're telling me a beautiful. A beautiful.

Do we have to walk you through this? You're telling me a beautiful guy with a beautiful butt, oiled up, is the same as a beautiful cheesecake. To me, yes. To me, if you put Troye Sivan in front of me, I would not give a shit. Your favorite hottest woman in the world, spread eagle, and then a cheesecake. Which one are you eating? Cheesecake. How good is the cheesecake? How long has it been since I've had the cheesecake?

It's been weeks. These are important factors. You would rather eat the cheesecake than eat the girl that was right there? Depends. That's crazy. That sounds like a coin flip. Really?

Yeah. You guys are both fat kids. That's what I hear. Yeah. This is why we laugh at you when you say, oh, I'm a fat kid too. My strategy to stay skinny is I order a bunch of junk food. And I think, I think.

I don't want to even hear that. You, I hate you. No, no, no. This is going to be. This is going to be frustrating. And you just throw it out. No, no. No, I don't throw it out.

I put it in my bedside table. They're non-perishables. This is my new thing. I don't even want to. I order trail mix, Chex Mix, whatever. Okay, let me stop you there. And then I get- Let me stop you there.

Dude, you just said you're a fat kid. You ordered Chex Mix? Your trail stuff is trail mix and Chex Mix? What are you? Are you a squirrel? You know- What are you doing? You know how much-

There's 17 grams of fat in a small package. I'm going to beat him to death. In a small package in trail mix. I'm so mad. All right? It is a healthy fat. He's not. I'll give you that. He death. And a small package in trail mix. I'm so mad. Okay. Alright. It is a healthy fast. He's not. He's not. He's not fucking with us. This is how he works. And then I get very stoned and I fall asleep. He said

there are M&M's in there. It's like eat M&M's in the fucking package. Look, what I'm saying is I get very stoned. I ate a full bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos last night. Jesus Christ. Last night my mom opened up an entire bag of Trader Joe's chips, which I proceeded to put inside of my ice cream. That's, like, I have no control.

I have no self-control. I'll tell you this. I had a little fun last night, too. Shut up. I had a fucking mouth. I don't want to fucking hear it. Two bags of SmartPOP. Can we kill him?

Can we kill him? I'm not even joking. I said, two bags of SmartPOP. Can we kill him? Can we kill him? I'm not even joking. I said, two bags of SmartPOP. Wow. And I shared a small bag of barbecue chips. Doing it to rub it in. I'm not even kidding. Doing it to rub it in.

I'm serious. I'm not even joking. I feel like my eyebrow is twitching from how angry I am at you right now. Why do you do this? It's like last night I went to a restaurant. I was feeling so naughty. I got a second order of white fish. I did actually.

Oh my God. Oh my God. I had sushi for dinner. Okay. Yeah, it was delicious. How do you do this? My point is, I don't have self-control. I don't have self-control.

My family's fucking me up. I will say this. You're not the only one whose family is trying to kill them. Is your family trying to kill you? With the yeah my family definitely pushes how was your thanksgiving it's great awesome go ahead tell me about the food that they're trying to kill you with i mean they push food they push desserts yeah but you don't have a sweet tooth i don't so so you have that power i have a sweet tooth so So, like, I can't fucking stop myself. Like, I'll have, like, a little bit.

I'll have a little bit of cookie dough. And then it's like. It's the fats. Yeah. Yeah. Like the fried foods. My weaknesses are french fries and tater tots and ranch. Okay, that's fair.

That's real. That's normal. That's the first normal thing you've ever said. Yeah, it's not smart pop. I dip them in honey mustard and ranch, and that's when I get really crazy. I weighed 178 pounds at one point. I don't even want to know what he means

when he says he gets really crazy. We're going to move on before I kill him. Marsh, give me a topic. Oh. Taylor, we're going to skip that. Cutie's not here. Oh, I heard about this new drug that could expand the lifespan of dogs and cats. Oh, yeah.

Where's that for humans? You live like 100 years. No, I want, why can't we get a vaccine where we double our lifespan? Would you want to live 200 years? Not if I age. Okay. If you look young for another 100 years. Oh, if I looked young, I'd live forever.

Yeah, if I stayed at this age, it's over. Always. Do you ever just think. I'd be a vampire. Would you just want to live forever? Yeah. I just, I just, I, everyone, i everyone when i get stone i just sit there and i think like this is all gonna end one day and i'm just gonna be it's gonna be black

it's terrifying i don't know i just that's a random thing it just terrifies me it's not it's not that random it's pretty normal to think that but um you know that should also you should there should be a follow-up there where you're like, and that's why I live life to the fullest, like that kind of thing? Or does that not happen for you? No, I mean, it's only when I get high. When I'm sober, it's not the way it is. Okay. I'm not, yeah, anyway.

Drug, what do you think? Huh? I mean, it's great. It's great. I heard about this for cats, too. Yes. Yeah, which I'm so excited. I think it could expand the lifespan of cats to like 30. it's great. It's great. I heard about this for cats, too. Yes. Yeah, which I'm so excited. I think it could expand the lifespan of cats to, like, 30.

That's awesome. Yeah. I'm so excited. Bro, you don't want a fucking bitch-ass cat for 30 years? No, you can't. I want my cats. That means I get another fucking 15 years with my cats. That's awesome.

Your cat can't even fucking survive you going away when there's, like water at home you know what i mean i know but how the fuck 30 years of that cat being alive you're gonna fucking cripple the entire water infrastructure of portland my cat is it's a strange cat he's a very strange cat like that i feel like all cats are strange yeah um knott's berry farm looking for content creators to join ambassador program hell yeah can we do that wait wait are they that's baby i would love to do that you go on roller coasters let's let's spot let's get sponsored by knott's berry farm and do a podcast do they have roller coasters oh my god what if we did a roll what if we did a podcast on a roller coaster yes we're just kept

going yes shit my pants for like 20 minutes i I would love that. That'd be awesome. I would love that. I would shit my pants. People have done that before, haven't they? I don't know if they've done an entire podcast. I would love that. By like the 10th minute, you'd be in trouble. Perfect. I think it'd be entertaining. I'm down for that. Hassan, would you do it?

Sure. Why not? Okay. I think we need to shoot. You're so enthusiastic. I think we need to shoot you're so enthusiastic i think we need to shoot for this knott's berry i'm fine i mean knott's berry farm if you're listening yeah we're we're ready that's right folks at knott's berry farm our body is ready we're physically ready mind body soul we're gonna do it yep um we're gonna do the we're gonna get the sponsorship i love all right what else do we have on here woolly mammoth oh show the tesla can we get back to the tesla truck because the tesla truck crash test seems questionable is a pretty good one and there was one other point that i wanted to make i know they're like oh it has no crumple zones the other car is the crumple

zone i know but you you do realize like no crumple zones means, like, you perish no matter what. What's a crumple zone? You're going through the other vehicle. I know, but when you're... But it doesn't matter because, like... The other person's squishy body is breaking my impact. Here's... Okay, so that's a missile.

But if you were sitting inside of a missile, it ultimately is going to hit an object that it forces it to stop. So... Not if you're sitting inside of a missile, it ultimately is going to hit an object that it forces it to stop. Not if you're going fast enough. Well, it doesn't matter, though, because if you go through a fucking wall, the impact of hitting a wall will turn you, your physical body, into mush. Not if you hit it hard enough. That or just don't hit the wall. Okay, that's fair. If you don't hit the wall okay that's fair that if

you don't hit the wall you're right um just don't crash the other thing that i find very funny about the the tesla truck is that in america it the tesla truck will most likely not be sold in europe because it's so pointy it's so like it has jagged edges all around it which america is the only country on the world if i'm not mistaken that does not have the the uh the legal restrictions on cars not having any jagged edges i think it's called like a there's like a pedestrian clause basically that you can't have you can't have jagged edges in your car because like you can accidentally have a bike crash into it even if it's like stable and then you fucking impale yourself on the car right or if like a baby falls we need a way to deter people to stop biking in this country i hit a biker once

what i did i'm gonna i'm gonna come clean about it and i'm gonna tell it on the podcast are you going to jail no no no no no no no no, no, no, no. No, I was not at fault. Okay? I was making... You were definitely at fault. No, no, no. There is no world in which you in a car are not at fault when you hit a biker hit me.

I was driving the vehicle, proceeding down Anonymous Avenue. All right? I proceeded to make a left-hand turn. The biker behind me went around me on the left-hand side and hit my door wow biker survived but it was his fault no no no when you make no no no in the united states of america when you drive on we drive on the right side of the road if somebody is behind you and you make a left turn,

you're not supposed to go around him on the left side. You're supposed to pass him on the right. Was there a bike lane? No. In the bike lane, if it was, it was on the right side. He went into oncoming traffic to pass me. Bikers be crazy. And so I hit him.

In fact, I did it on purpose. Listen, I'm just kidding. I didn't do it. All jokes aside, yeah, the Tesla truck does look dangerous. There's that crash video or at least the images where it's like it just doesn't crumple at all. Yeah, it hits the, there is a crumple zone in the front of it, but it's like very tiny. And you're supposed to have it throughout the entire car so it survives the passenger.

I think we have to remind people that a very dangerous car being allowed on the market this wouldn't be the first instance of this what was that car that just kept blowing up uh ford pinto ford pinto yeah this could be the new ford pinto baby i mean libertarian is well tesla's also blow up a lot so i mean not not more than like the not like as much as fordinto, but. Again, another car that just looks sick, though. It does look cool. Pinto looked. Look how sick it looks when it, keep off my rear, I'm explosive. That's awesome.

Wait, so you would hit them and they would just explode? They would just blow up. That's awesome. Not, did a lot of people die, I'm sure, and it was very sad. But, wow, that's crazy. Not, did a lot of people die, I'm sure, and it was very sad. But, wow, that's crazy. Okay.

Oh, yeah. Okay, so I've been getting dragged for my Spotify wrapped. Who's writing that? Do you, do you know, do you know who,

do you know what Spotify wrapped is? Yes. So for those that don't know, Spotify, every year puts together like a summary of your top songs, top artists that you listen to over the course of the year.

And I release my Spotify Wrapped. Shall we bring it up? Can we put it up? Pull it up, Marsh? Yeah, it's right there in the document. I release my Spotify Wrapped and I've been getting torched for it on Twitter. Here's my Spotify Wraify rap here's my top

artist stevie ray vaughn oh my god dean martin pepino gagliardi pepino gag who the fuck is pepino gagliardi dude you don't know about pepino gagliardi so hold? So hold on. So hold on. First of all, Elvis Presley needs no... This guy's 80 years old is so true. So Pepino Gagliardi... You have the taste of a racist. What? Yeah. Like you have the music...

There is not one person of color on your top five. No, but it's not even just that. He's Italian. Dude, no, what I meant by what I was saying, which you perfectly followed up on, is that most of your faves are from an era where black people did not have rights. And neither did gay people.

Yeah, that doesn't save you. Wow, that was a reversal. That doesn't save you in this situation. I thought it was pretty good. You have the taste of an 85-year-old man. It doesn't make me a racist. Taylor Swift is in there. I need to hear a Pepino Gagliardi.

Okay, so hold on. Just give me a second. Pepino Gagliardi is an Italian singer from the 70s. Hold on. Let me look up my favorite Pepino song. Name one Pepino song. Is this your driver's music? We listen to it together.

Oh! Oh! Oh, my God. It's Dominic. Did you put up Dominic's spot in my room? Hold on, hold on. How the hell am I supposed to remember the title of this? One of the songs is

Chivole Questa Musica Stasera. Okay, how the hell am I supposed to... I don't remember the name of it. I play me some Pepino. Here, you want me to play it on the thing here? Yeah. Chivole Questa... There it is.

Okay, okay. I gotta have some Pepino in my life. Pepino. Dude, I feel like this is so old. Copyright doesn't work anymore. Like, what's Pepino gonna do? Fucking copyright us? He's dead.

What the... This is your top list. I'm pretty sure we can listen to it. Okay, I've had enough. Thank you. There's no way Pepino... What is the fucking vibes for this? This is driving through Los Angeles with my driver, Davide.

Sometimes we take a scenic route over the hills in Burbank. Beautiful day. Pepino Gagliardi on the Spotify. You've never been to the hills at all. Yes, I have. I used to go to Burbank all the time, G4. We used to drive over the hill that's when Peppino

was popping Peppino was blasting and Dean Martin Peppino and Taylor Swift Peppino so yeah so that's my

people have been dragging me for my music taste I think I've got a lot of great you are worthy of being dragged okay I mean

my top songs were I guess even worse you I mean, my top songs were, I guess, even worse. You want to see my top songs of the year? Yes. Okay, hold on. Here are my top songs. Let me get it. It's going to be Frankie Valli

and the Four Seasons is in there. I don't know. You'll have to see. Frank Sinatra is in there. Just songs. Think about songs. Because this is my whole rap. Here it is.

CC Ryder Yes I see CC Ryder Oh yeah Rush I feel the rush Oh Okay Escapism

Heart broke bitch High heel six inch In the back of the nightclub Sipping champagne Okay Kylie Minogue nightclub sipping champagne. Pa-dum, pa-dum, pa-dum, pa-dum. Okay. What's pa-dum, pa-dum? Chela, como bella, chela, luna, brina. Kylie Minogue.

Kylie Minogue's a queen. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so, I mean, my top songs are gay as fuck. Yeah. That's good. Well, it goes old in that order. It goes CC Ryder, old, Rush, gay, Escapism, gay, pa-dum, gay, On an Evening in Roma.

Do you have a rap? No, I don't. What do you mean you don't? He doesn't listen to music. No, I don't. What do you mean you don't? He doesn't listen to music. No, I don't. I actually, I actually. You don't have Spotify? I, so me and my cousin, like my cousin has a Spotify because he's in Turkey.

Ever since I was a broke boy, I've just been like using his Spotify because he's on it on the opposite time that I'm on it. What? That is. How do you listen to music? No, listen, listen you steal spotify from your cousin yeah but the here's the thing i never use it anymore anyway because i never listen to music i do not listen to music if my spotify if i had like an actual wrapped it would be shit that i

listened to on the stream and i could tell you off top dome it'd be like the the all of the hasanabi music that my community's made all right and then it'd be chalima on the wing the the democratic people's republic of korea army uh songs wait what you listen to the dprk army songs yeah it's fucking sick have you ever okay play chalima on the Wing. I know Will is going to actually appreciate it. C-H- Oh, yeah. It's my- I can't. Hold on. Play that. Play that. And show the music video too.

I can't believe I'm getting shit on for Pepino. No, no. It's not going to get copyrighted. Watch this shit, Will. Listen to the fucking- Listen to the laconic melodies, okay? Okay. Okay. Ain't no way you're going to get a hook that is.

Yeah, this is ass. Hold on. I get shit on for listening to Pepino Gagliardi, and you're listening to DPRK music? This is bad. Wait, no, keep playing it. Oh, my God. It's a fucking absolute jamboree.

First of all, you are a hypocrite. Because this genre of like, I don't even know what I would be considering it. Obviously, it's like marching music, but the background is very similar. Yeah. The beats that they're using is kind of similar to that same era of Turkish music that you listen to all the fucking time. No.

Yes, like the funky... No. The funky saz. I don't know what it's called in English. The sitar? You want my... Wrapped? My wrapped is Grum is my number one artist. Mondo Grosso is number two Roy Davis jr. number three

Swedish House Mafia number four okay Fred again number five Swedish House Mafia had a year brother and then my top songs are Gabriel Pearls by Sade Strong by Fred again Where Are You and Tell It to My Heart which is a very gay song. Tell it to my heart. Yeah. Tell me I'm the only one. When do you listen to that type of music? In the gym? Yeah.

But Shaw Day is always on my top five. How many minutes did you have? 13,000. Wow. I had 43,000 minutes. Damn. It's because I just listen to music on the plane mostly. I never listen to music.

What do you do? My number one song was this song called Gabriel played. Here, pull that up. What do you do on a plane, Hasan? I play video games. On a plane? Yeah, on my Steam Deck. Yeah, I do the same.

Yeah, I don't listen. I have no... Yeah, this is my number one song of the year. I never have an opportunity to even listen to music because every opportunity that I have to myself, I am listening to podcasts and news. So go like halfway in. Yeah.

So anytime I was working, I had this song. This is by Roy Davis Jr. That's pretty good. I know this song. It's a bop. It's good. A bop.

Look, better than fucking Mr. Pepino over here, I'll tell you that much. Pepino Gagliardi, there's going to be a lot of fans in the comments that are going to come after you. Pepino Gagliardi! No, they're not, because every single person that knows who he is, is dead. Pepino himself just died last week or a few weeks ago. Wait, really? Yes, a few weeks. I don't know what it is, but every time I get hooked on an artist, they die.

Which I think is like a- I do know what it is. You listen to 800-year-old artists that are like on their last leg. No, no, no. In 2009, when I was on a Michael Jackson kick, I had Who's Loving You as my ringtone, and he died. Do you think you killed Michael Jackson? I don't think so,

but also I was on a Prince kick, and he died too. Yeah. I'm serious. I kid you not. And Pepino, I listened to him for a year, listened to him for a year what's wild to me is that like even back in 2009 your tastes were still like kind of 20 30 years yeah in 2009 i was like but not born just kidding yeah how old were you in 2009 when you were listening to Prince? Like 14, I think.

13. 12, maybe. I don't remember. It's been a long time. No, 14 is accurate. I was 14 in 2009. So what is that? Crunching numbers.

All right, I want to get to this last thing. The Woolly Mammoth de-extinction project is underway. Dangerous. We're bringing what? Dangerous? I'll tell you underway. Dangerous. We're bringing what? Dangerous? I'll tell you why. Go ahead. Are you Jurassic Parking me right now?

Dangerous. Are you Jurassic Parking me right now? Don't fuck with nature like that. Life. Fine. Are you Jeff Goldblum-ing? Yes. Do the line. I've never watched Jurassic Park.

What? You are doing a bit from Jurassic Park, and you've never seen the movie i've never seen it you disgust me i've never seen any of the jurassic parks worse than a pepino i've never seen any of the jurassic parks i've you only need to see one i understand the concept don't fuck with me you understand understand Of one of the greatest movies Okay I hate to be that guy But come on

Jurassic Park I understand the concept Don't fuck with nature Don't bring back dinosaurs Okay okay okay Bring back the mammoth There is literally No way it could go wrong

Okay Tell us What do you think Is gonna happen With the mammoth They are going to be King Kong style Fucking taking over

It's a big hairy elephant. Yeah. I'm going to be wearing. When did they go extinct? So many years ago. Ice age. Ice age. I thought that they were recent.

Oh. Oh. I was wrong. Yeah. I'm going to be wearing mammoth skin coat and y'all are going to be like damn. So I love. We should bring back. We should bring back all the dinosaurs.

So that's the question. What would should bring back we should bring back all the dinosaurs so that's the question what what would you bring back everything everything t-rex no yes no that is actually the jurassic park meme there is a real present day i i think we should bring back the t-rex for what reason now now hold on. Oh my gosh. I don't understand how they put a date on it. Why they're doing it. I mean,

it could be a source of a new fur. I love this. I'm all about this. Like we shear sheep. We could shear a mammoth. Okay. A new sustainable fur. Hold on.

Think about it this way, Hasan. We are nature. Hasan, we are nature. We are human beings., Hasan. We are nature. Hasan, we are nature. We are human beings. We are a product of nature. Sure. We were given the intelligence

to be able to bring back other things, right? So everything that we do on this earth is natural and beautiful, right? Yeah, no, definitely, definitely. We should play God. I like it. I think we should bring back petrodactyls. Okay.

Wait, what? Why? Can you imagine instead of having a horse, a pterodactyl? Sustainable travel overnight? They're gonna eat us.

I got an idea. No, we could train them. Just like a horse. Will. Bro, they're ugly as hell. I've got the reason for T-Rexes. Okay. They could fight our wars.

Your idea is a fucking organic nuke? You think that's a good idea? You literally went full Jurassic Park because that's like Jurassic Park 3 when the government is like we need to use these dinosaurs for war fighting. Oh, I haven't seen the movie.

How are you guys doing the entire Jurassic Park film franchise? This is how they thought of it? Is this a bit? Are you guys doing a bit? No, I'm starting to think that Jurassic Park actually had some good ideas.

Oh, my. Yeah, as in like talking about the dangers of like using an animal. No, no. Playing God and also using it for death and destruction.

Okay. Oh, what could go wrong? No, no. I think, I know T-Rex should be dangerous, but God, think about the money we could make. Who's we? Like, like, okay, I haven't seen Jurassic Park, but listen. What if we created like a theme park slash zoo?

Okay, this is a bet. You guys coordinated before this. And then people could just go and attend. And obviously you could control the animals. Like maybe some of them you could give to the federal government as like the defense department for defense purposes. Legitimate question. Yeah.

Did they study homosexuality in the dinosaur kingdom? I'm dead serious. Okay, let me just explain something to you. Okay? Animals, right, that are not human, are already gay as fuck. Like, there's no sexuality. Nobody ever...

Animals don't think about it like that. Whole as a whole, baby. Yeah, so... I know they don't think like that. I was just curious. So dinosaurs would probably also be gay as fuck. All right, anyway. Sorry.

Really? Continue. She had a bunch of food detracting from, from, uh, Oh my God. Somebody looked it up. Is there any evidence? Somebody looked it up. Is a Reddit. Homosexual behavior is a well-documented in modern animals, but were there any gay bars

in the land of what? Uh, what's the comments? They're probably, they're probably stupid. Uh, did I win a prize? Because homosexual... Okay, yes. The answer is yes. It had to have been. Do you feel better about bringing back the dinosaurs?

I do. I do. I think it's progressive. What dinosaur would you bring back? You said T-Rex to sell to the military. Yeah. Okay. What would you bring back?

Oh, I like the big boys. What is it? The stegosaurus or whatever like the ones that are not carnivorous and yeah the herbivores that are just like chilling so brontosaurus or stegosaurus uh i probably would go with nah stegosaurus can't really ride so brontosaurus that one's like really big how about the giraffe looking ones put him in fucking wisconsin you know what i mean or montana like there's so much fucking space there okay just turn the entirety of montana into like a dino space yeah so like that brings up the moral issue do we let them roam free but their natural habitat doesn't exist anymore uh that's right that's why you put them in montana so they would

evolve into something else that we didn't even... Do you know how long evolution takes? I mean, it would take a minute. Do you know what the... Wait, wait. Without looking this up, I have a question for you. Do you know what modern animal is direct descendants of dinosaurs? Lizards?

Most animals are, but do you know what... give me a very uncommon animal that you think dinosaurs that we have like in our daily lives that we crocodiles chicken chicken chickens yes really that's what evolution looks like dog over the course of thousands of years oh yeah that they had birds like weird birds that's what i'm saying petra no but chicken is like a chicken is a descendant of what look let's uh i crocodiles was on there yep yeah chicken is a descendant of what kind of animal though what kind of dino number two is crocodile yeah yeah wow that's what i wanted to stress here. What about evolution turned them into that? Garacity of resources. That's awesome. Also, they were made extinct pretty much.

I'm saying though, petrodactyl travel. Can you imagine being able to ride a dragon to your mom's house for Thanksgiving? No more having to deal with Southwest. You just hop on your petrodactyl pterodactyl i don't know why i keep saying that because i'll pee in front and you just cruise there that'd be sick i'd be scared i don't know i like that's like biking in space like that's so terrifying be cool though i'll be down and do it do you be willing to take a risk though to ride a dragon yeah i think i think so i mean it cuts down on traffic quite a bit so that's a big that's a big deal i greenhouse gas is gone which which dinosaur would you like as a pet

if i had full control over one it'd be the t-rex what would yours be i I said Brontosaurus. I like those. They're big boys. You'd have a T-Rex as a pet? Yeah. What's the little, like, aggressive ones? Velociraptor?

Yeah. They're not that little, though. They're still, like, bigger than a huge... They're, like, ostrich size. Isn't there the one called the Armadon that's, like... It's got, like, the basically mace on its tail. And it's got like armor all over it. No, this.

Just look up like armor tail dinosaur. Yeah. Armor tail. Yeah, that one. What's his name? That's like a, what is it? Monoplatypus. An-li-los-a-saur.

No, ankylosaurus? Ankylosaurus, yeah, that. So are we definitely bringing back the woolly mammoth? Yeah, it's happening. It's like for sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, you can't do nothing about it, dog. You can't even stop they like i wonder if pita has anything i just don't understand why we're fucking bringing back mammoths at a time of like unprecedented global heating you think we'll eat as a consequence of

anthropogenic climate change so like we literally have a structure we we literally have a fucking ecosystem that is like not even sustainable for goddamn polar bears and we're like here let's bring back the one fucking animal that like got wiped out because it wasn't cold enough woolly mammoth tacos it makes no fucking sense what are we gonna do put them in a fucking freezer and then use extra energy to like keep them alive they live in the cold they're an elephant with hair that's right yeah i i think it's yeah i think it's crazy i don't know what the fuck they're doing i mean it was also a lot colder back then it's cool trying to restore up to the function in a mammoth skin coat y'all are gonna be like damn well i think it's like so i think it's cool to try and and uh engage in the act of de-extinction, but de-extinction without trying to get a hold on

any version of climate change is so fucking stupid. So what about if we just bring back the dodo? That's what I'm saying. We've lost a few animals recently. We've lost a few. Yeah, fine. Let's bring back a dodo. Why couldn't we save that species?

Or the fucking, what is it, Bengal tiger? The white? Yeah. How could we not save it? Or pandas. Pandas are chill as fuck. couldn't we save that or like the or the the fucking what is the bengal tiger the white yeah how could we not or pandas pandas are chill as fuck you we should not let you're back in no i'm you're no longer i'm fine with those animals i'm i'm saying like that i i literally don't think the extinction return on animals for woolly mammoths it doesn't make sense your argument that it's you know oh what are we gonna do put them in a freezer we can't even get pandas to fuck dude yeah

wait so wait they stopped fucking wait so is that true they just won't fuck anymore they won't fuck they gave up on life really yeah they just won't reproduce

that's the problem that's the problem they just won't fuck no literally that is a big issue that is crazy we just need to start I wonder if it's

I don't know what we're gonna do I just really don't I wonder if it's partially because like we just what we're going to do. I just really don't. I wonder if it's partially because we just won't... I mean, they're not out in the wild. We should feed them aphrodisiacs.

What do they call it? Aphrodisiacs? Poppers? No. We just got panda bears taking ecstasy in poppers.

They're gay as fuck. Holy shit. That's why. Pandas are gay as fuck? Ling Ling is off a beam, too. Yeah, they're doing... We just have ling ling at a fred again concert yeah you don't have to be so i miss your touch rush all right on that note i think uh we will explore the territory of panda fucking and much more

behind the paywall that's right at patreon.com slash fear and ladies and gentlemen thank you so much for coming this was a cutie free episode we miss her very much yeah she died to self-suck that's right and also uh next week i believe we are unveiling the new set the coveted new set with our guest stavros halkin wow what an episode we are so back. How are we going to fit him in there? We're about to find out. That wasn't even a fat joke because the studio is tiny. What else would that have been?

How are we going to fit any guest in there is what I mean. Hassan, I think you were objectively larger than us. How are we going to fit you in there? That's also true. You'll see. You'll find out. You'll find out what it looks like. Oh God, Ling Ling's off of me. You don't have to be so strong.