Fear& - The Truth Behind Brittany Broski | Fear&

Episode Date: June 24, 2024

This week we're joined by the wonderful Brittany Broski! The gang covers a wide range of topics in this one including, disney, gay bell curves, milf manor and so much more✨ BONUS CONTENT ✨ PATREON - https://www.patreon.com/FearAnd🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS 🎧  https://linktr.ee/fearand❤️ follow our guest! ❤️Brittany:  https://x.com/brittany_broski❤️ follow Fear&! ❤️Hasan: https://twitter.com/HasanthehunWill: https://twitter.com/TheWillNeffQT: https://twitter.com/QTCinderellaAustin: https://twitter.com/AustinontwitterMarche: https://twitter.com/MarcheFear&: https://twitter.com/FearAndPod00:00:00 - exactly what the patreon needed, more wood00:02:36 - we were late last week on purpose00:05:17 - the disney court case00:09:57 - shoutout hillary00:11:45 - disney match my freak00:15:10 - disney's twink your bell00:16:21 - where are the gays00:19:10 - lunch made qt gay00:21:10 - the gay bell curve00:24:42 - marche explain what eddievill is please00:26:20 - the alien experience experience00:28:40 - this has to be illegal00:31:07 - starwars broke our hearts 00:34:00 - sex pest yoda 00:35:44 - x2 stream incoming00:40:22 - austin will outride hasan00:43:51 - 2 milf 2 manor00:49:10 - running a derm bill in the sun00:55:15 - America Me Up Again (clonaid?!)00:58:28 - raelism graphic design01:03:20 - new eagle sound just dropped#hasanabi #brittanybroski  #podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Spotify, this is Javi. My biggest passion is music, and it's not just sounds and instruments, it's more than that to me. It's a world full of harmonies with chillers. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. This winter, take a trip to Tampa on Porter Airlines. Enjoy the warm Tampa Bay temperatures and warm Porter hospitality on your way there. All Porter fares include beer, wine, and snacks, and free fast-streaming Wi-Fi on planes with no middle seats. And your Tampa Bay vacation includes good times, relaxation, and great Gulf Coast weather.

Visit flyporter.com and actually enjoy economy. Just speaking of gay, because you... Famously don't like them. No. I'm the same. Let's go. Hit it.

Okay, so your career was started from homosexuals. Is that correct? I would say that's true. Okay. How? Tell us how. I did my research. Well, thank you.

And it seems no one else here did. I appreciate you. Um. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the Fear Ann podcast, where we have a very, very special guest, Brittany Blonsky. Oh, yeah. We're also, if you might have noticed, sitting in a very different set. It looks like the same exact set, except improved. Now there's a lot of wood. Yeah the same exact set except improved now there's a lot

of wood yeah same exact set but with more wood that's what everybody was requesting i'm turning on the ac yeah i think you misinterpreted what they were asking for yeah well regardless we're here we're live it's a beautiful sunday and we have a lot to talk about. What's up, Broski Nation? Broski Nation, put some W's in the chat. Yes, that's right. Do they do that? We don't have a chat. It's more so like a pigeon carrier system. Very inefficient.

And they call you their supreme leader. Yes. Right, which I love. By the way, I love this. Oh, you don't love it when it's North Korea, though. Huh? You love it when she's a Supreme Leader, but you have a problem when it's the Democratic People's Republic of Korea?

Because she's a woman. It's called women's rights. I don't know anything about that, bro. I'm waiting for our first female dictator. Look, we have a contender. It will happen. The glass ceiling we didn't know about. I suspect that the likelihood that we will have a woman president as a Republican is higher than it being a Democrat. For sure.

Despite the fact that Kamala Harris is currently the vice president and Joe Biden seems like a ass hair away from death. Which, by the way, this is funny because when I brought Brittany in hereney in here i was like listen this is not a political podcast yeah and then you start and i immediately started with politics let's start with what we usually start with ripping into each other over petty gripes no no no no no no you were late again you were late again don't a hundred episode streak yes but i'm dry you even texted us two hours before the pod. Guarantee us. I made something special, but I left it outside.

I'm kidding. Is this not the, what's this? Oh, we don't edit any of this. We don't edit. We just let it run. Are you late often? You know, I try not to be, but there's something called, my real last name is Tomlinson. Government name reveal.

Wait, is this an exclusive? Yeah, don't believe that. We're redacted. No, it's fine. We call it Tomlinson time. Usually my parents are late, and then we're waiting, and they're trying. I don't like it. It's a nasty feeling.

But if it happens, it happens. I've started to relax i'll be that's really because i realize people don't care that much it's true you know what i mean true well i mean what are you saying right now we definitely do care oh my god okay that is an art piece i made it for brit Is that edible like what's the deal Yeah The beefiest Oh my god And I brought Brad she got you a gift It's made with the beefiest neck. Oh my God. And I brought Brad.

She got you a gift, but it's also like a death trap. No, this is gorgeous. I thought you'd like it. Madeline's. Did you make those? Yeah,

but they're kind of stuck. Okay. Put this right here to admire. Here. It's heavy. You'll look great going like this all night. Yeah. They're kind of stuck together

because you're not supposed to put them in a container like this. It's lemony. That's orange. It's orangey. Oh, that's delicious. Do you do brownies? I have the best brownie recipe in the world. Go ahead and tell it to me because I might not do you.

Oh. Let me know. You know what would go really well with these macaroons? Those are... Whatever this is. What is it called? Madelines? A coffee. It would have gone so well.

No, no, no. It's okay. It would have gone so well. No, no, no. It's okay. It would have gone so well. We're sitting in his $25 million mansion. Hassan, it's Pride Month. Thank you. Yeah, thank you. It is Pride Month.

It's so great to have an ally. No, it's important. Next to Cutie, another ally on the podcast. Thank you so much. It is important that Brittany brought up Pride Month. Yes. I've got to tell you a story. This is really interesting.

Let's get into it. We, for the last year, I've been planning a trip to Disney for our first time ever going to Disney. Yeah. Was I looped out of that email? I got a Mickey Mouse tattoo, brother. I think that's very strange.

But we scheduled it to go on Pride. So that we could... Because, you know, well, Brittany's a Disney adult, so she understands. You know how they have, like, Oogie Boogie Bash? Yeah, 100%. So they have Pride Night now. And so we went to... We got special tickets for Pride Night.

Yeah. Very exciting. And we got... You get rainbow merch. It's a whole thing. Yeah. Oh, it's you. An expert.

Why are you saying... Why are you saying yes? Were you a part of the situation? Because, Will, go on with your story. Silence, guy man. I don't know if I told you, but we're actually funded by a Republican super PAC. We were blown off. It's my private company.

That's why they always, they're going to try to smear me. Go ahead. Will, please continue with your story. No, I mean, all this deflection is so crazy. I can't. Go ahead. No, please. We were blown off by Austin.

By him? Yeah. No, not blown off. I gave them advance notice. Counsel, would you like to prepare your statement? Yes. No. What were you doing?

You were getting a medical treatment or? Rim job. Oh, that's right. You were getting a rim job. He was getting his ass eaten. You were getting a medical treatment? Rim job. Oh, that's right. You were getting a rim job. He was getting his ass eaten. You were doing dick. That's the medical term. Was it good?

That's the medical term. Rim job. Thank you, cutie. It was good. No, I had a little bit of a family emergency. That is... Dude. Dude.

Dude, that is crazy. Okay? You didn't... Why lie? Well, I don't know what else I'm supposed to say. It's in his nature. He can't help it as a gay man. Brittany, have you ever been betrayed by one of your friends?

Totally unrelated topic. So I'd like to know what the truth is. So here's the truth. He was throwing a twink around like we get thrown around on the Matterhorn. Okay. Now, Brittany, I do have to come clean here. That's. Okay.

Like this. That's what he's doing. Okay. Brittany, I had made plans to see somebody that I won't see in a long time. Okay. And I mistakenly double scheduled. And unfortunately, it was over the week at which we had Disney Pride. And I tossed and turned.

No, you didn't. It kept you up at night. It did keep me up at night. Y'all hearing this? Yeah. No, you did not. To miss out on such. And actually, I had so much FOMO.

They did a stream. Y'all went regardless? Yeah. Those tickets are hard to get. We planned a year in advance. Yeah. That's what's. For private without the gift card.

Yes. Yes. See, Brittany, now you see where I'm coming from. I do. I do. And it's fucked. It's fucked. See, that's what I'm saying.

What is happening right now? I should have gone. So much. Finally, finally, everybody understands where I'm coming. I needed, I'm so happy you're here. We needed this. We needed this. Why do people go to Olive Garden and be like, we needed this?

It is my month and they went without me. I just can't imagine. They decided, you know what? Fuck you. That's what they said. That is what Fuck you. That's what they said. That is what they said. I saw the tweet. Yeah. And they left and they went

and they had a great... No, but in all seriousness, I talked to them beforehand. They totally understood. How are you the victim right now? You literally... There is nothing we can do about changing the date of pride month it is a is a date that disney has assigned for pride month they only gave two days to the gays wow

yeah that's that's the thing upsetting yeah is i just it was a mistake i forgot and please forgive me all of you did y'all have fun we? We had a magical time. We got matching rings. We got matching rings. And you know what? I couldn't be more happy for you guys. We didn't get you anything. He was... He was riding a storm. He was riding up a storm.

The Infinity Stones from the Avengers, but also the Gauntlet, of course. Thanos X RuPaul. The crossover we've been waiting for You better work Thanos What song do you think Thanos would lip sync to? Thanos would lip sync for his life

To Stop the world And melt with you And he'd do the snap I love that And then everyone would die It would be so good But anyway we've gotten over it No we haven't we're not done do the snap. Yes, 100%. I love that. And then everyone would die. They'd die. It would be so good.

But anyway, we've gotten over it. No, we haven't. We're not done. We're not done with this aspect of the show. I think we're going to keep talking about this. I thought we were over it. No, we are not over it. It was a lot of fun. We had a phenomenal time. There were a lot of fans there.

Shouts out to Hillary who hooked us up, who let us cut the line on numerous rides. Many joyous moments were had. Yeah, she's done. She doesn't have a job no more. I'm not supposed to do that. Shout out to Hillary, though. Austin also, I mean, we tried to bring Austin into the conversation.

Okay. We tried to bring Austin into the experience. We called him multiple times. He did not pick up, even though, and I went back and I looked at it, he was in the Discord writing up a story. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was asleep when they called. They called... I was on Eastern Time Zone.

Okay. They called me at 1.30 in the morning. Oh, that's really mean, you guys. And 3... The last call was from Will Neff at 3.30 in the morning. I've got the receipts. Yeah, because I was drunk and I missed you. No, I know, no.

And I appreciated it. And I woke up to so many missed calls. And I just want to say thank you to all of you for helping me. Because I woke up and I was like, wow, they wanted me there so bad. They did. And I wanted to... I was like, wow, they wanted me there so bad. They did. And I wanted to. No, I'm serious. Genuinely.

We weren't placing bets on who. I knew that's what it was. You know, when you see a bunch of missed calls from all your friends and you know they're together. Yes. They're all right before that. I haven't even seen the footage. They were like, I bet he's going to pick up on me. And then they all called.

The way you knew. Yeah. No. But they did call me. I to pick up on me. And then they all called. The way you knew. Yeah. No. But they did call me. I was asleep. Genuinely. I would have picked up. You know me.

Any chance to be on camera. Yeah. Except for Disney Pride Month, which was your event. Yeah. I have a very important question. Let's hear it. From Disney Freak to Disney Freak. I see you.

Who of Disney would you get your freak on? Oh. Now, this is a wide-ranging question. Oh. There's a lot of characters. I know. Could I beg you to start? That's a wild, ranging answer.

I will start. That's okay. Like, how freak do you want me to get? Well, when I was a baby, I had a crush on Baby Simba, of course. As I became not a baby, you can't have a crush on baby Simba. Naturally. But like, I can remember how baby me felt about baby Simba.

Yes. I'll never forget. You wanted to fuck baby Simba? As a baby. Yeah. But as I became an adult, I became more of a Scar girl. But all of these guys are saying Scar is gay.

Scar is gay. Most Disney villains are gay. You know, I've never thought about that. He's kind of artsy. He's got like a crew of miscreants. His brother is like the jock. No, he's are gay. You know, I've never thought about that. He's kind of artsy. He's got like a crew of miscreants. His brother's like the jock. No, he's always gay Hercules.

What? Not Hercules. Oh, Hades. Hades. Hades. Oh. No, I am a firm believer in all Disney villains are gay. Okay.

When you think about it, almost every single Disney villain is gay. I don't know which one that is. I don't even know what that is. Wait, is that in Buzz Lightyear? Yes. Yeah, Zurg. Confirmed. Oh, yeah.

I mean, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Happy Pride month to Zurg. You could see if they catch him at certain angles wearing a job. Think about it. Pull up March. Pull up iconic Disney villains And let's go through We are skirting the issue though, Brittany

Which Disney character would you pick? Well, like, my God, name a movie and I'll give you one Like, it really is like that 101 Dalmatians 101 Dalmatians, the dad Gorilla Yeah, the dad Bambi

Bambiians the dad. Cruella. Bambi. Bambi the dad. That is a hot deer. That's not a bad choice. Oh, Shere Khan is hot as a tiger if you're into that. Oh, I would agree with that actually. He's a hot tiger. Margie, show that too. So can we go through this list real quick?

Like, number one, Maleficent. Maleficent. You got it. Close. Maleficent. Okay, listen. English is my second language, and that's a hard word, okay? It's a hard word to read.

You got it. Maleficent. Smash or pass? Smash. Smash because Angelina Jolie adaptation. Wait, what about Ursula? I mean, she's the original queen she's the drag mother no no not your not your thing i would say probably number one for me

either aladdin or uh nick wilde from zootopia okay which one is that? Let me see. Yeah, that's going to be Jason Bateman. There we go. Oh. Oh, wow. Oh. That's a, you're a furry. Yeah, you're a furry. That's what I said. I mean, what's the filter for this answer? No, there's no filter.

Okay. It's unfiltered. Counter them, show them Judy Hopps. Yep. Just because I feel like the boys need it. Jarvis, pull up Judy Hopps. Oh, yeah, I remember Judy Hopps. Yeah, what do you think, Josh?

She's a cop, so... You kind of... You kind of... I'm a bootlicker. I feel like you'd kind of like that, though. Nah. Ew. What?

I don't like that. Austin, who would be your choice? My choice? Pull up Disney twinks. Iconic Disney twinks. Hercules pre-BBL. Images? Go to images.

Disney characters did more for gay rights than canonically gay Disney. Timon was not a twink. I don't think so, yeah. Sorry, Timon. Pleakley. None of these are twinks. Well, they're just iconic gay.

Oh! The dude from Mulan, the general? He's not a twink. Yeah, maybe the general from Milan. The guy from Atlantis. Milo. Milo. So mean.

Oh, yeah. That's another one. Yeah, dude, the princess from Atlantis is kind of. Yeah, that's real. That's the realest shit you ever saw. Now, get into her. Yeah. Get in on the ground floor.

Anybody guest on fans in here? I mean, that's like the classic, right? No one fights like Gaston. No one fucks like Gaston. That's a classic Disney character you bang. No, I'm not a Gaston sympathizer. Wow. Okay.

I'm just not. He's not my type. No, I'm not doing muscly right now. I like more fur. Yeah, I like a little bit more body hair. I like maybe a snout. Yeah. I like when we cuddle and their nose gets on me.

Just speaking of gay. Yeah. Because you. Famously don't like them. No. Yeah. Let's go. Hit it.

Okay, so your career was started from homosexuals. Is that correct? I would say that's true. Okay. How? Tell us how. I did my research. Well, thank you.

And it seems no one else here did. I appreciate you. Okay, so the kombucha meme, when it happened, did not really do well on TikTok at first. Like, it was just kind of a video that, you know, it circled, but it kind of stayed within TikTok. It took a brave gay man to download that video, upload it to gay Twitter with the caption,

and I quote, me when I tasted cum for the first time. Can we pull that up? Yeah, can we go ahead and pull that up, Jarvis? It works. It works. It works. And it's the, well,

and then it was me when I ate ass for the first time. And then it was all these, that was like, it just really did its numbers on gay Twitter. Um, and then it started, you know, breaking into other communities on Twitter specifically.

Then you see it leave the apps and go to Facebook and whatever. Yeah. So, uh, yeah, it really started there. And then shortly after that is when I met Trixie Mattel. And then,

um, yeah, I owe it all to her, truly. Yeah. And so do you still have a, is your audience dominated by gays? I would say it's about 65% women, 35% gays. So no straight men at all? Absolutely none. Really?

Yeah. Are they allowed? Wait, can I say something? Actually, when I DM'd Hasan and I begged him to come on my show, I was like, he probably has no fucking clue who I am. Because straight men don't. Like, they don't. No. And so I'm like, I don't know. No, I saw

the meme. I knew the meme. Yeah, he saw the when I tasted cum. I relate to this. Yeah, that's me for real. Like, that's what i was thinking that was a good one yeah i was kind of gagged because it's like you know they don't really interact with it at all but it was a good time thanks for coming on i also yeah it was phenomenal i also owe my career

to the gays as well like they were they were in the ground floor for sure like before before i developed any like female fan base it was just gay men at the young turks and it's still there is still a pretty queer dominant community yeah i'm waiting for the gays yeah where where are my gays no no no okay now guys i would like to be the next chapel roan please cutie you're a gay icon in training, I think. What do I have to do? The algorithm needs to find you. No, I think the reason why you're like, you are a gay icon is because gays love a messy bitch. And you are.

They do. And you are a train wreck. We love a messy bitch. By the way, all my. I don't give off that energy. Oh, yeah. No, no one. I'm confused.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm confused Yeah I think I think I Ever since Billie Eilish released Lunch I think I'm gay I think that did it No one tell my boyfriend Expand on that Oh my god

I know I just keep thinking about her She's a little young for me though but that's cool With the gays, right? Wait, hold on. You pointed to Austin. What? You're into that? Hold on.

I mean, come on. No. I'm like 30. Wait, how old is she? She's 23. That's fine. Seven years? That's not problematic at all.

She's like 28. Come on. She's 23. Wait, is that problematic? I think she's like 21. No. She's 22. Yeah. I'm 30. Yeah. Eight years. Yeah. No, you're not. You like 28. Yeah, 22, 23. Wait, is that problematic? I think she's like 21. No. She's 22. Yeah.

I'm 30. Yeah. Eight years. Yeah. No, you're not. You're 28. She's a little young for me, but she helped me find myself. So you're coming out.

I'm coming out. Don't tell my boyfriend. Happy Pride. Yeah, Happy Pride. It's big. Thank you. Happy Pride. Wow.

Thank you, Billie Eilish. Would anybody else like to come out Hassan come out the what Hassan did turn down a marriage proposal at Gay Disney can you pull that clip up what are you talking about

I felt the magic of Gay Disney and I tried to propose to the city square Hassan the first time just ran away and the second time he used an interesting technique to get me to stop talking he fucked my head i did do that just grabbed my head and started hoping so the first time it was really hard to keep to set the scene apparently i mean you probably knew this already but people propose at disney all the time And it's a spectacle.

Yeah, and it was because someone literally proposed. As a Disney fan, would you want to get proposed to at Disney? You know what? Can I say something controversial? Yes. Oh, my God. Sorry, I told the truth. No, I know what you're saying. That's good to know.

All right, let me get dragged. So here's the thing. Here's the thing. Before this started, someone did actually get proposed to. Did everyone clap? Yeah. It got me in the mood. It was in front of Pirates of the Caribbean.

Yeah. So we ran in that direction to be like, are the gays getting married? What's going on here? You know, we got to put an end to this immediately. We ran over there. And then this man right here had the brilliant idea of recreating it yeah and i have i don't i think this might be like i don't usually get like worried or so have social anxiety this might have been unless people think he's gay no no i well clearly i don't have a problem with

that either as you'll see in a second but but next time I'm proposing, we're going to see what happens. Okay, wait, hold on. I need you to set the scene a little bit. Y'all bought these rings. Is that what you proposed with? Yeah. Okay. And now this is at night.

I had already given him the ring. So he pre-fired, he pre-fired because he's horny like that. How did you create a scene? How soon after the original proposal was this? Literally moments later. So you tried to steal their thunder! They had left. They had dispersed. Yeah. They had gone. a scene how soon after the original proposal was this literally moments later like left they had dispersed yeah and and you know

they were doing all they're playing ABBA I he's so afraid of being perceived as I that's the case. And why would I fuck his head in front of that video? I don't know if I got it. Yeah. Cutie actually literally looking at the castle and I panned down and he's. No, no, no, no.

This is why he did it. You fucked his head because no gay man would do that. That is straight behavior. I sound like T-Bag. Everybody. Every man. Every straight man knows that in order to cancel out being

perceived as gay, you have to do the gay shit. You have to go gayer. Exactly. Don't have it. Yes. This is a gay gayer. Exactly. I don't have a... This is a gay bell curve. Exactly. If Cutie had done the same thing to me, the reaction... You would have hugged my face? No, the reaction, the first one, would have been identical.

It's more so about the fact that this is supposed to be a special beautiful thing. It's sacred to you. Is that right? Yeah. Gay marriage is sacred to me even though they shouldn't do it and they're going to hell okay but like in that moment i felt like so much social anxiety that like people were gonna get excited about this moment that they think that they're sharing with two dudes who are you know just fucking around and it like

it weighed on me like an elephant. It wouldn't. We wouldn't have had to just. You know, it's funny. Yes. That night I went home and I fell asleep and I had a dream. Marsh proposed to me and we were getting married and I was really stressed about planning our wedding. And Marsh, like I couldn't tell.

You guys would be the worst couple ever. I know. He just wanted to like hang out and go party and have drugs and I wanted to plan the perfect wedding. Have drugs. And I'm, like, really stressed about planning our wedding. I wake up next to Ludwig in bed and I go, Marsh proposed to me and Ludwig goes, I'm going to beat him up.

So, sorry, Marsh. But your proposal leaked into my brain and instead of marrying my boyfriend, I did. See, we inspired each other. Married Marsh. Yeah. Do you into my brain, and instead of marrying my boyfriend, I married Marsh. Do you do drugs, Brittany? Not occasionally. Wait, not occasionally? I would argue not ever, actually.

Not occasionally isn't all the time. I'm on drugs regularly. Define drugs. Weed. You know what? I do do Eddie. I touch down in Eddieville sometimes. Touch down in Eddieville.

What's your favorite activity to do? What else do you... Sometimes we do that. I did not hear a word he said. What do you do when you touch down in Eddieville? You know what I like to do? There's train videos on YouTube.

We're all into this. We love trains. This is crazy. Aaron Fomer? What? I do train POV ASMR videos. Wait, train ASMR?

I got some shit to show you, brother. When March gets back, we'll pull that shit up. Wait, he is the train guy. We showed up to Disney. We walk in the train station. You get on the Disneyland. It was closed. It always is, bitch. It was devastated.

Yeah, the Disneyland railway. Why are you going to bring up past trauma? It was so sad. That we have to relive again. Because have you done it before? No. He's never been there. Oh.

Oh, my God. It was our first time. And he blew us off. No, no, no, no, no. Come on. Let's not make it like that. This just got a lot more like heavy to me Thank you

Now you're trying to understand the severity He was trying to steal gay thunder from somebody else Look at him Why would I involve myself in that Thank you This is our first time at Disneyland We've been to Disney World separately when we were children And like we are

We weren't really excited, I'll admit. We were not very excited. We need to recant why none of us were excited. This is a weird phenomenon. I need you to know they're haters. We all went to Disney World when we were children and we all

went on a ride that is now defunct and there were lawsuits over called the Alien Experience. Have you ever heard of this? No, I have not actually. Okay, okay, okay. There is a ride where one of the administrators of Disney wanted to be cool to his teenage son. So he made a ride based on Alien.

The movie. The movie. Yeah. Where they strapped you in a rollercoaster strap, but in an amphitheater, and then there was this giant pod where an alien blasts

through the glass, and then actors would come touch you, and they had air cannons. Oh, it's like a 4D ride. It was extraterrestrial encounters. Yes, but it was fucked up scary, to the point where they were traumatizing kids a lot. Holy shit. And we might

have been those kids. So I was going back and I was like, I went to Disney World when I was a kid. I can't remember why I didn't like it. And then someone was like, well, did you go on this ride? And I was like, I did go on that ride and it was horrifying. Then I told him and he went, I went on that ride. It was horrifying. And then we told him and he went, I went on that ride. It was horrifying.

And then we told her and she said, I went on that ride. It was horrifying. We were all traumatized. Well, I'm better at dissociating. So I fell back in love. I never went on that ride. I've never heard of it. It goes pitch black.

Yes. And they say, oh no, the aliens escaped. And then you hear someone scream and there's a crunching noise and then you get splashed with water. Oh my God water and they tell you that it's blood. I was seven. I got freaked out by Honey I Shrunk the Audience.

That was what scared me as a child. I got freaked out by Captain E3 Michael Jackson show. Holy shit! I remember that! What the fuck? That's a throwback. Hold that up. I want to see.

So that was, I think I'm saying his name. He's right by Star Tours. E3, I think it's E3, but he, it was Michael Jackson, like, I believe the director reached out to him and they made their own musical just for Disneyland. It was like, pretty. Kenny Ortega?

Yeah, I think Kenny Ortega? Yeah. Captain EO. Was it Captain EO? Yeah, Captain EO. Who? Jenna Ortega? Kenny Ortega. He directed High School Musical. This freaked you out?

Oh my god. This was like a show you could see. Oh, this is nightmarish. Why is this fart? It's in 3D too. This looks like a tool music could see. Oh, this is nightmarish. Why is this fart? It's in 3D, too. This looks like a tool music video. What is happening? Kind of goes crazy, though. It was like Wizard of Oz-esque, but Michael Jackson.

Okay, so far, so good. I feel comfortable that, you know, Michael Jackson is going, so far so good. I feel comfortable that, you know, Michael Jackson is going to defeat this boss. With the power of dance. With the power of art. Wait, the sound effect to his kick. You guys aren't imagining this in 3D, though. Oh, yeah, it's true.

Oh, God, Michael. Yo, look at whatever that... Is that... That's the piano player. From Star Wars? Something about it. I know. Did you go through a...

I went through a phase where I was doing the Michael Jackson leg kick. Did you go through that phase? I had a Michael Jackson phase as well. Did you really? Yes. Okay, this is what's freaky. I went through a Michael Jackson phase as well. Did you really? Yes. Okay, this is what's freaky. I went through a Michael Jackson phase, and then he died right after that.

That's your fault. Wait, you went through a Michael Jackson phase when you were like 27? What? No, no, this has happened several times where I've gone through a phase. Michael Jackson was my ringtone, and then he died. Please don't get into Chapel Brown. No, no, I also was into ringtone and then he died. Please don't get into Chapel Brown. I also was into Prince and then he died.

You know what's crazy? You were the only person into those two artists. That is true. They had a very small audience. No, no, no. I had him as my ringtone. His niche alternative independent artist, Michael Jackson and Prince. They were about to make it big and then you

started laughing at them. I don't know. I just thought it was a little bit of a weird coincidence that I had them as my ring. You know, it was the Jackson 5. Okay, sing. You know what I want to prove I can sing? It was like this. I've never seen him.

I've never seen him. I've never seen Austin so gay. He's so excited that Brittany's here because then gay people are going to watch the thing. Excuse me, nobody's going to watch this. I will never. I already found the love of my life. Speaking of gay icons, I do have a topic.

I do have a topic. The second season of Milf Manor. I'm not ready to move on from disney yet hold on i'm still intrigued with y'all did a second round of the proposal yes and were people clapping did they think it was real did you get in front of the castle it was right his impulse to hump my head was so fast that I didn't even have time to get into the bed. So you didn't hug and like. No, he got on one knee and immediately I grabbed his head.

Okay. There's children at your feet, by the way. No, it was nighttime. It was nighttime, yeah. There's no gay children at Pride Night. That's true. That's true. Yeah.

So it was kind of. It was nice, but it didn't work out between the two of them. You know, it's a great bit. Like the fake proposal. it's a great bit. It is a good bit. You could redo it. You would not be, like, worried that, you know, like, it wouldn't. If it was, like, a fake one.

Yeah. If you just committed. I would have gone for it. If it was a fake one, you would do it? Yeah. Yeah. Whoa, that's crazy. For me, I'm like.

We have to create it. We didn't get to try Great Adventure. You want to come with us to Great Adventure? He's going to propose to you. Don't do it. He's the California Adventure. Idiot! You said Great Adventure?

I thought that was like a new Disney park. I got excited. California Adventure. It's a huge difference. He was so excited to go to Star Wars Land. Star Wars Adult? It was close. Oh, yeah.

It closed at 7. What the, why? Because they didn't want to, because that stupid Rise of Resistance ride, they can't. Girl, it always shuts down. I know. It's really close. All I wanted was to get a costume. And yeah, they closed.

You need a Jedi robe. You need a lightsaber. Wait, why only 20% capacity for Pride Night? That's what they do. That's a point. Oh. That's a benefit. I. That's the benefit. I think it's a little bit like it's a money-making operation.

Of course. It's like a much smaller version of Disney. Disney is not for profit. So many of the stores were closed. So many of the stores were closed. They actually closed it early, as a matter of fact. So we go to Star Wars wars world and literally every shop is closing right in front of our eyes and like will and i so the reason why i said this originally

like will and i were not really excited at first but then we mean to me but then but then star wars world became a possibility and we got yeah really invested we're you know we're millennials we're boomers we we like star wars so we got really hyped we're like oh. We're boomers. We like Star Wars. We got really hyped. We're like, oh my god, we're going to get Jedi robes. Yeah, let's take the train there. No train. Let's get some Jedi robes and some lightsabers.

None of that was open. They were closing it. They were closing it in front of our eyes. So QT fucked up big time as well. I'm just saying. That's not my fault. Well, it was the thing I didn't mention to them of our eyes. So Cutie fucked up big time as well. I'm just saying. That's not my fault. Not your fault at all. The thing I didn't mention to them is I was late getting here per usual

and so we were late driving. If I would have showed up on time, we would have made it before they closed. Feels like not the right time to say that. I thought about as we were standing there and he was like, ooh, the door's just closed. I was like, I'm like, oh no, we have to go back, guys. She's never been on time.

It did lead to us discovering a new character that is integral to our lore now. What? Sex Pest Yoda. Yes, that's true. People love Sex Pest Yoda. I love Sex Pest Yoda. Everyone loves Sex Pest Yoda. Cutie loves Sex Pest Yoda. I do not into him. I wasn't there. He bought one of those

backpacks that they sell, like little Chewbacca's and the Yoda's. But he took the Yoda. This is like it because it stays open till 1 a.m. for Pride Night. Ha! There it is. Sex best Yoda. And he keeps just like touching. Brr.

Mostly me with Yoda. And it wasn't. It was awesome. It was sex best Yoda? Sex best. Like he's like a creeper. Yeah. Got it. It worked so well because of his eyes.

Is that a name that they used to call creepy people that were problematic? It was sex pest. Just a sex pest. Speaking of which, speaking of which, I do have a topic that we So much you could do with that people loved at one point sex pest yoda opened an automatic door oh my god because will stops the people walking behind us

and he goes wait wait wait and then it opens the guy goes they all applaud and as soon as they walk out of earshot sex pest yoda turns to to Kitty Cinderella and is like, oh, you like that sugar tits? Oh, the force. It's not ideal. He's not on my list. Sex Pest Yoda. Sex Pest Yoda, he's pretty good. He's pretty funny. What's your favorite ride at Disney?

Oh, this was for Britney. You have to. No, go ahead. Take it. The girls are talking for a second. We'll come back to you. He got excited to give you an answer like disney okay well thank you for asking i'm not used to it man ain't shit okay is the man ain't shit episode all right um my favorite ride in all of it is the tower of terror and disney world i actually have a fucking tattoo for it. It changed my life. I have a tattoo for Twilight Zone.

I was sad when they switched to Gorgon. I was pissed off, but it's the same ride, so that's really what matters to its core. It's so fucking good. Yeah, you didn't go on that one. Sorry, guys. Yeah, it's a great ride. Do you all like thrill rides?

Yeah, Brittany, do you like coaster coasters? I love coasters. Like, kill myself coasters. Oh, my God. Okay, you're the only one in this room? I was a Five Flags kid. Six Flags? the sixth one was a confederate flag we did it we got rid of it we got rid of it got it we're making the change so i loved like medusa talon x2 kingda ka yeah all the heavy shit you ever been to bush Busch Gardens? Yeah. The Griffin?

Yeah. That's the one that drops 90 degrees hangs you right there. Yep. And it's a different time every night. My bitch. Roommate in boarding school was part of the original ace. Not asexuals. American coaster. That's so stupid.

Bro, that's gotta be like a Venn diagram. Actually, the number of asexual people in Ace is huge. No, but we would go to the parks before they open for special American coaster enthusiast members. And we would just ride like crazy. But they don't like ride rides. No, I said I would do it. I love ride rides. I'm an adult now.

You'll go on X2 with me. And blow your brains out. I just want to be invited. That's Five Flags California. Are you kidding me? I've been to Six Flags. He wants to be invited so he doesn't show up. So we need to say no.

So I can get another rim job. No, okay. First of all, I do the rimming. I don't. First of all, pride. Yeah, thank you. No, but regardless, I would totally go. I would love to go.

Show him X2. I want you to take. This is what you just signed up for. Have you seen X2? No, I have not. I do. This is the most gnarly coaster in the world. Pound for pound, dollar for dollar.

Where is this here? I think this is, yeah. Oh, it starts, first of all, it starts backwards. That's how you know it's bad. Oh, fuck me. It starts, it's not. Yo, Will, I've been on this. You've been on X2?

Do we get to ride it? Yes, I've been on it, yes. Okay. When the coaster starts backwards, you know shit is going down. So this coaster, all of the cars actually rotate 360 on the track. So every drop... I passed out on this ride. As you're going down, you'll rotate 360 during

a breakneck drop. So you have no idea where you are and sometimes you'll be falling up because you'll be upside down and then it'll invert you. It's crazy. can you tell me, can you walk me through the sort of strap, uh,

set up here? Is it like over? And there's a lap thing. Okay. I don't know. There was a lot of rides. I didn't feel safe on when I went to one. Is it part of the fun?

Yeah. I think. This was a Japanese ride. Oh, can we hear, can we hear it a little bit? I just want to hear it. I want to hear the blood-burning screams.

Because it sounds like a train. She's a foamer, so. I'm into it. It's so comforting. Look at this. Look at this. I mean, this is what it's all about, baby. What city is this in?

This is the Six Flags, California, I think. Yeah, I think it's like an hour That was my deal to them if I go to Disney Watch this watch this shit is Inversion facing down and oh my god., you said you've been on this. I've lied. I've never been on it. I've never been on it. I lie for attention all the time. It's something that I do. Dude.

Oh, my God. Yeah. This will do you. Oh, my God. I don't think I've done this before. I've only been to Six Flags in New Jersey. Trust me, you know. They're holding hands.

This ride is like anal. You know if you've done it. They're holding hands because they're going to die. That's not like a beautiful moment. It's just their last moment in their minds. Have you been to Universal Studios in Florida? Yes, I have. I have when I was much younger.

Motherfucker, there is a roller coaster called the VelociCoaster. Yes. I'm like roller coaster enthusiast. This is the most insane. Not Ace. I'm not locked into Ace the way that y'all are. This is the most insane. not ace i'm not locked into ace the way that y'all are this is the most insane you know like when a coaster will speed up yeah it does it twice through it like it you know it's the sort of initial blast off which is like the kinder car

yes juice and then it re-thrills you halfway through it is the most intense coaster i've ever been on in my fucking life re-thrills because you know the initial and then you're like i'm just gonna ride it it fucking gets speed again and the hagrid ride you've been on that i haven ever been on in my fucking life. Re-thrills? Because you know the initial, and then you're like, oh, I'm just going to ride it. It fucking gets speed again. And the Hagrid ride. You've been on that. I haven't been on that. I've watched the ride through.

Wait, wait, I can't. Pull it up. Wait, do you have to? I can't watch Ride through. Why not? I want to experience it in person. Well, close your eyes, bitch. Okay. He's lying again.

He's not going to do any of these rides. What are you talking about? Will you do it? I will do all of these. You know what? Fuck. Hold on. I will out-ride you.

No, you won't. I will out-ride you. Yes, I will. I will ride you. I will out-ride you. All right. It's a fuck-off, dude. It's a fuck-off.

Come with us to Six Five. I would love to. I've never been the one out here. We'll do a live stream and we'll get fucking pitted. Wait, let's go right now. Okay, let's go right now. We'll finish the podcast in the car. Oh, Hagrid is sending

you on a ride. Oh, we've done this. We did this in Universal in LA. No, they don't have it in LA. It looks very similar to the Universal ride in LA, though. No, that's the Flight of the Hippogriff. Is this where you're on a... This is in California. No, that's the flight of the hippogriff. Is this where you're on a... Okay. That's where I'm still locked in.

You are. Yeah, you're dialed in. This is in California. No, this is in Florida. God damn it. This is Florida. Okay, so this one, you're on...

What the fuck is that thing? Listen to this. Did it just shit on you? It just farted. It's one of those spew thingies. Remember? It's in the book. Okay.

He just farted on us. So this one, you can't even see it because it's a POV. You are on a motorbike, backless. No! There's no back to it. Wait, are you holding it? No, you can't even see it because it's a POV. You are on a motorbike backless. No. There's no back to it.

Wait, are you holding? No, you're not holding it. They strap you. They strap you into a lap thing, but there's nothing over your shoulders. And it goes so fast. What are you saying? You hold on to the thing. They're like, lean forward, bitch. There's no back to it.

Okay, that seems dangerous. That's what makes it thrilling. Oh, my God god that sounds awesome it's also it's one of a kind and so it breaks down all the time because it has this part that you go I've wrote it via YouTube so hundred times but it goes into this little room and you're sitting there on the tracks

and then the tracks fall so it also has like an element of drop in it and then it goes on tracks again. Wait. Yes. So it breaks down all the time because it'll just misalign

like by a micro whatever and so then What do you mean it misaligns it just drops people? Well no like they can't like run it because it's not running. Did anybody play Roller Coaster?

Tycoon is a kid who can make roller coasters that dad tracks that went nowhere and just launch your hands into it. Wait I used to RIP to all of those. RIP to those. I used to launch them hands into it. R.I.P. to all of them. R.I.P. to the firing guys.

I used to launch them into just a pool of water. Yeah. With no escape. Did you have to drown your Sims? I did. Wait, did you? I don't know what it is about. We were just innocent children.

Drowning Sims. And the moment you get a hold of a game, you just want to murder them. I have to kill. First of all, there's nothing. Yeah, children are demons. Okay? We were all, every child. Well, I told him about GTA.

The first thing anybody does in GTA is just get on top of a parking garage and just lay out the entire city. That's not what we're going for. We are tight on time. I need to get into these topics. They're very important. Oh, shit. Okay.

Speaking of re-thrilling, have you guys heard about the second season of Melf Manor? I have to get into this. Oh, yeah. I forgot what you were talking about. Have you heard anything? I know a little bit. All right. Pull up the trailer I sent you.

Now, obviously, there was nowhere to go from the first season of Milf Manor, right? Nowhere to go. How do you top that? I don't really remember what happened. I don't think I saw the- Have you seen Milf Manor? Never in my life. Okay.

Milf Manor is a show in which milfs date younger men. The trick is that all the younger men, their moms are all – Their moms are the milfs. Are the milfs. So they're dating – What are you talking about? Yes. Yes.

Now you're in. Now you're locked in. The show is basically the most, like, Oedipal show I've ever. So these young men, like 21, 22 years old, would watch their mothers fucking the other guys in the MILF manor. What are we doing? And they're in the same room. So how do you go up from there? How do you go up from there?

This season, they've brought their dads. So now this season, MILF manor, the moms brought their dads. So now this season, no matter, the moms brought their sons and then their estranged husbands also showed up and everyone is fucking at one. I know that guy. They're divorced. Wait, what?

I know that guy. Go back. Girl. What? No, no, no. The one of the crushes? No, no, no, no no he was he was in a frame yeah stop right there boom who is that go back who we that guy right there with the smile what

insta gay is that girl i that's what i'm saying what is he doing there that's what i'm saying even the one on the crutch She said Yes He showed up on crutches Yo you gotta be horny horny to do that That's like that's commitment dog He was like I gotta be there

Coochie tingles This guy this guy right here I mean I'm A devious Mischievous woman by nature So I'm having fun These are gorgeous women Jacob Clearly

Jacob Who the fuck is Jacob I don't know He's on gay twitter That's what I'm curious What the fuck is going on That's a handsome older man Who is it

British That's a handsome older man. Who is it? It's British. Wait, pause. What is he doing on the... He's going to fuck a MILF? No way. Austin has done some investigation. Okay, this is him. Click on message.

Let me just see. No, I've never DM'd him. Oh, he did. No, no, I've never... Claire! Wait, wait, wait. He was on was on wait here he is right here this is clearly he's living life as a gay man why is he on this that's what i'm wondering maybe he's there to fuck the dad i don't know i don't know if he's i don't know if he's gay or not but i thought he was huge twist if he was there to fuck the dads he's there to maybe he's

bisexual yeah sure girl he's there to fuck the dads so Maybe he's bisexual. Sure, girl. He's there to fuck the dads. So what do we think about MILF Manor Season 2? Mom and dad fucking. Do you like watching trashy television? You know I'm getting into it. I'm getting into it a little bit. I'm not a Bravo girl, but I do watch Below Deck. That's the only one that I watch on there.

Below Deck? What the fuck is that? Let me go ahead and show you Below Deck, girl. He was on Below Deck! watch on there. Below Deck? What the fuck is that? Let me go ahead and show you Below Deck, bro. He was on Below Deck! That guy was on Below Deck! There's no fucking way. Yes, he was. So he's gay, yeah.

Is that a gay show? It's not a gay show. Basically, Below Deck is luxury yachts. The crews that work on these, they all fight and fuck each other. Meanwhile, it's really rich patrons that rent these yachts. And so they're like, you know, we want the hot tub ready. We want four king beds. We want this type of dinner.

And then it's all these crew members who are like horny 20-something-year-olds, and they all try to fuck each other. It's tea. Because they're from all over the world. I thought it was the one where they catch crabs. I did not. No, that's Alaskan. That's most dangerous.

That's deadliest catch. Well, I guess these people are probably catching different crabs. I did not. No, that's most dangerous. That's deadliest catch. Oh, I guess these people are probably catching different crabs. Yes. Oh, yes. I've always, she's bringing her fucking eight.

They're both bringing their eight. Cause Brittany's here. You locked in. I've always been this way. You're dialing it up. Cause it's a woman and you're dialing it up. Cause you're gay. It's true.

Yeah. I've never seen Austin this gay. You're dialing it up because it's a woman and you're dialing it up because you're gay. It's true. Yeah. I've never seen Austin this gay on an episode. I love it. I wear a fishnet shirt. Yeah. This is like when Tana Mongeau was on, you weren't this gay. So, I mean, the thing is, is that they are never, they, when I'm- We're never gay?

No, when I'm- I'm sorry. I have a proposal video. When I'm living my life. Listen to lunch. When I'm living my life, when I'm living my truth, they think it's too much. Well. But when I'm not living enough of it,

it's not enough. I can never please them. Now, how do y'all feel about that statement? We just want you to stop being messy. Be less of a diva and more gay, as gay as you want to be i support you i support you at your most gay and you know this i just wish you would embrace it

he's embracing his nipples are chafing in this mesh top what else do you want i tried i tried getting him to take it off and and with us earlier, and he refused. No, I'm done. I'm done with tanning. It's all about the spray tan now. Yeah, it's all about the spray tan. I cannot do the real tan anymore. I can't either.

I'm too old for this. You've never tanned in your life. What do you mean anymore? I'm from Oregon. What am I supposed to do? There's no sun. Okay, I was like, bro. Look at him.

We got a bunch of the boys together. We're in the pool. I put Kai in the pool. We can show that TikTok in a second and experience her first joyous moment in a moment. And Austin is just sitting there in his mesh tank or his mesh t-shirt. I had to change, by the way. I couldn't wear this here. You can't wear this out in public unless you're in a game. We're in WeHop. Yeah, but I had to come, by the way. I couldn't wear this here. You can't wear this out in public unless you're a gay boy.

Yeah, but I had to come from the airport, so I had to change. I had to wear a black non-mesh top here, and then I changed into a black. Regardless, I was like, bro, take it off and come get a little bit of sun. I've been trying to get you to tan for the longest time. And he said, I'm just going to go back to Oregon, which is like it's not worth it. I was like, it's just the sun, man. It's not worth it. Why would I sit out

in the sun when I am just going to go back and just be white? It doesn't make any sense. That's not how that works. No, bail him out. Bail him out. You've been bailing him out all over. I was going to say that's not how it works. There is a sort of gradient of darkness to sort of lightness here. And I'm counting the freckles as a sort of darkness on this side.

We're looking at running up a dermatologist bill on the table from laying in the sun. Yeah. Yeah. We're looking at. I have a derm's wet dream over here. Look at us. We're looking at moles. We would be the face of skin cancer if we sat out in the sun.

I don't want that. Exactly. We don't want that. And Cutie and I are hypochondriacs. 100%. I probably already have it. We go through every disease. Give me a week.

Yeah, exactly. Give us a week to do some research, and then we'll develop the symptoms. Can we show Kai? I feel itchy already. It's true. Kai's first pool dip. This son of a bitch. I'm going to call him out.

Do it. He puts together this TikTok, right? He opens up the TikTok. Fucking gray chest hair. Titties. Big titties. Get your fucking tits off our TikTok. And he's like, yo, is this good?

I'm like, yeah, it's good. You're half naked, you slut. Put some fucking clothes. Look at him. He knows what he's doing. I don't. I was. Oh, shit. He knows what he's doing. I don't. I was. Oh, shit. This is my shirtless debut.

Bro, you're starting to look like Clark Kent. I know. No, we don't like it at all. You need to get uglier. You do need to get uglier. This is bullshit. First time ever. It's really hot out here in the summer.

Oh, yeah, is it? Yeah. Let's see how it goes. Call and response. Look at his. Come on. What's your slut? Let's see how it goes. Call and response. Look at his. Come on. What a slut. Nobody's watching.

She's loving it. She doesn't like it. No, she does not like it that much. She's literally clawing the cement. Yeah. Get me out of here. That was very funny. It's cute, though.

She gets into it a little bit later. How do you bathe her? Very good. You hose her off out back? No. I get a groove. Iose her off out back? No. I get a groove. I have to. She's too big. I like... She don't like it. Yeah, she didn't

like it. There we go. Hold it. There we go. Oh, Gaia. Get her out of here. She's a period girly. You know, Hassan, I can't swim. She was... Oh, yeah. She's a period girl. You know, Hassan, I can't swim. She was.

Oh, yeah. It's true. It's true. You're doing the same thing. If you guys recreated that with you. Wait, would you do that with me on a TikTok? No. Wow.

He's so afraid to be perceived as gay. It's literally Pride Month. You're not going to help your gay friend out. He can't swim. You can't help me swim? Oh, I'm drowning. Oh, yeah. Nobody's's gonna love this video i told him i was like no one's gonna eat it up because they're gonna be skipping around to moments where they can see you that people are gonna beat off to your dog's first time swimming yeah can i ask a question

yeah yes do you ever get this is directed to mr precker. Are you ever turned off or put off by the amount of sexualized DMs you get? Or do you play into it? No, I grew up very fat. And I always wanted to. So you welcome it now. Yeah, I welcome it. You heard it, hornies. Whenever people are.

Run up those DMs. One of the most common criticisms I get. And shouts out the misogyny and shouts out the patriarchy, I guess. But one of the most common criticisms I get and shouts out the misogyny and shouts out the patriarchy, I guess. But one of the most common criticisms I get from my haters is always like, no one would listen to you. They only listen to you because you're hot. And I'm like, thank you. That's so awesome. Do you mean it?

Okay. And I love that they try to objectify me. Obviously, it doesn't work in the same direction as it does for women, unfortunately. But whenever they say that, I welcome it. I'm like, thank you. Okay. objectify me. Obviously, it doesn't work in the same direction as it does for women, unfortunately. But whenever they say that, I welcome it. I'm like, thank you. Okay. Great. I think, yeah, I love to be objectified. Yeah, I guess

you don't get that as women. You're only funny because you're fucking ugly. Yeah, it's the opposite. It's the opposite. It only goes in one direction. That's the reason why it doesn't work. Actually, when I did stand-up, one veteran stand-up guy was talking to me,

and he was like, do not wear makeup. Do not look nice. It's crazy. It's the truth. He was like, they won't laugh. And I said, okay. I've told you this.

One of my favorite teachers at Groundlings, Allison Dunbar, literally said this to someone. She was like, when you're on stage, you gotta strap it down because sometimes you won't get laughs. I was really stressed before Streamer Awards because I had

my whole monologue and I wanted to not wear a dress. I wanted to wear just a blazer and do my hair in a bun and then I didn't have time to find one, but I was so mad because I just know I'd be funnier if I was in a fucking t-shirt. You even have to think about it. That is so fucking awful.

Thank you, Austin. I'm glad you can show your gray titties. That must be nice. Imagine if I showed my titties. Imagine what it's like. If I show my gray chest hair, I get banned. That's true. One more thing I wanted to cover

before we get out of here. We get behind the paywall. We get down and dirty. All the tough stuff going on. We're going to be listening to some ASMR train stuff. That's right. Is it sexual? No. ASMR train stuff?

Hold on. Hey, rule 34. That's not... You want to fuck Thomas the Tank Engine? What do you mean? You want to fuck Thomas the Tank Engine? What do you mean, Rule 34? I want to fuck Percy, not Thomas. The green one. Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to do an America Me Up. Yay!

So, eagle scream. There we go. Basically, this is where I share moments in American history that make me proud to be American. And we're going into an election, are we not? I think so, yeah. Yeah, and one of the politicians is kind of what you would define as a criminal at this point?

Some would. Well, I'm here to show you that that is not important as long as they have good moral values. Please bring up my buddy here, Mike Hunt. Or, sorry, Mark Hunt. Sorry. This is Mark Hunt. Stupid attempt at a joke. Mike Hunt's my drag Mark Hunt. This is Mark Hunt.

Mike Hunt's my drag queen name. This is Mark Hunt. And as you'll see, he is a Virginian senator. Everything is completely normal about him. Start scrolling through his page. Is he wearing a hairpiece? No, that's just a good old comb over right there. Oh, God. There's his education, his

elections. Keep scrolling down. Everything is above bar here. Everything's totally... Whoa, what's that education, his elections. Keep scrolling down. Everything is above bar here. Everything's totally, whoa, what's that? Clonade. What? Now what is, hold on. What? Have you guys ever heard of Clonade?

No. What the fuck? It's like a Gatorade. So let's. Well, the first word of that is sus immediately. Yeah. So unfortunately, Mark lost his child when it was very young, at a year old, due to open heart surgery. And he won a malpractice suit for the better part of $300,000. He was so bereaved by his loss that he searched the heavens

and earth for a way to clone his baby. In 1997, Bill Clinton very openly and famously responded to the cloning of Dolly the sheep. Oh, I thought you were going to say very openly

and famously got a blowjob. He's famous for many things. But he, the nation made cloning or cloning studies of human beings illegal. And it was there was no more Boo! Bring it back! So Mark had

to find a cloning alternative that was a little bit more unusual. Go ahead and click in to the Renalians here. Renalian religion. So, Renalians. Realism. Realism, right.

Oh. They were a, some people would call it. You're such a big fan of Valkyrie. Some people would call it a cult. Okay. They were a religion that believed that aliens came down to Earth and Jesus was one of the first men and he was a clone of aliens. Oh, so they're Mormons. Kind of.

But in the year 1997, they gave all these truths to their leader. Go back to the discord, please. Can we just for one moment, can we just pause here? The symbols. What is that symbol? No, that's crazy. I've been thinking that. It's a star of David with a swastika.

That's crazy. That's a Tibetan peace. Go ahead, pull that up. That's a Tibetan peace icon. And that's what I thought at first as well. It's clearly a Tibetan peace icon. That is an insane logo. I was going crazy over here, like sitting there.

We're not going to address that? Oh, my God. Don't pull that up yet. I wasn't sure what it was, but it didn't look good. So the reason this happens is because the founders of the Rinalian movement found a translation in the Torah that they thought meant men from space. But unfortunately, it's a mistranslation. But they co-opted a lot of the imagery from Judaism, and they just threw a swastika in there. This is a Rick and Morty episode.

Now, so the aliens come down and they decide. This is the final position on having both sides. Both sides were doing stuff during World War II. They decide to give their divine truths to one man. The leader of the Rinalian church who

changes his name to Rinal. Please pull him up. You got to change your name. You can see this man's aura. Oh, and yes, yes, yes. That's him. There he is. Yes, there he is.

Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Shout out to bro. What a balding time. Shout out to Moses parting his Red Seas. What's happening with that hair right there? Jesus Christ. God damn.

Absolute unit of a hairpiece. That is crazy. Because of their belief in cloning from aliens the ren aliens decide to put their money and effort into a company called clonade now you can pull up clonade's old website uh it is amazing and they decide that they are going to continue the cloning work oh that's awesome show that continue the cloning work of our alien ancestors here on Earth. Yes. Here comes Mark Hunt with a fat settlement check.

He then funds Clone Aid because they say for the low, low price of just $200,000, we can clone your child. I'm obsessed with you reading this off like it's memorized. Oh, yeah. He's not going off a script right now. No, I'm off book. No, I'm off book. No. A prepped monologue so they take that money and they rent the highest price lab that man has to offer not in the u.s in the u.s i thought it wasn't i'm gonna i'm gonna throw a flag on the play i'm gonna throw a flag on the play i doubt it was the highest price lab on the planet it's

in west virginia it was a 300 defunct high school classroom above a christian um christian preschool yes duh as soon as i saw that of course as soon as i saw west virginia i was like there's no fucking way that is the highest price lab yeah okay so they begin their cloning work in the defunct high school classroom above the Christian preschool. And the Rinalians decide that they've made so much of a striving progress that they're going to go to Washington and they're going to speak their case about how they're doing illegal cloning work and how this should be allowed.

Who is volunteering to have their seed cloned? Other than bro. It's just Mark. It's just bro. Okay. I have a revelation. Will is actually the clone. That's right. I'm the clone. What's the year? 97?

How old are you? Close enough. Yeah. He just aged a little bit enough. Yeah. Yeah. A little bit faster. Yeah. Yeah. The renalian DNA. Growth hormones.

So they go to Washington and they plead their case. And Washington is like, no, what the fuck are you talking about? And in an investigator in their claim to Washington, they say, listen, we have an active politician right now who lost their child and is going through this process right now. An investigator tracks them down, finds the facility, and basically leaks the story to CNN. At that point, the politician, Marcant, goes, I was never intending to clone my child. I was just trying to preserve his cells in case this ever becomes legal. He walks away from the Renalians. The Renalians and their cloning processor shut down.

They lost their biggest supporter. He is elected to office again. None of his opponents bring up this illegal cloning ever in his political career. And the Renalians swear that in 2003, they cloned a human. There's no evidence other than them saying that it happened. I believe. And this is the story of Mark Hunt and the Rinalians.

Wow. Are there photos of the alleged clone? I don't know that. Okay. That is. Yeah. But are there photos of air, Brittany? True.

You raise a great point. I believe it. So how do you guys feel about this whole. I think we should clone. Okay. I have a way to dampen the mood. Sure. The America Me Up segments that we've been doing has actually been fraudulent.

March, I sent this to you ahead of time. Oh, my God. In secrecy. Oh, my God. Because I did not want you to know about this. What is the iconic sound that plays right before the American Me Up segments? Oh, my God. I already knew.

I know the answer. It's an eagle. Stop spoiling me. I already know. Stop spoiling me. I did my research. You asked the question. He answered it.

No, I just said. It's an eagle. You don't have to answer the rest of it. It's an it. I researched this. You asked the question and he answered it. No, I just said... It's an eagle. You don't have to answer the rest of it. It's an eagle. It's an eagle sound. What's the bit? The entire time... Yeah, let it sit.

Let the bit happen. Okay. Marsh is having a very hard time going through his phone finding this text message I sent him. Okay. He's planning his proposal to me, please. I think I know what you're going to say. I know what you're going to say, too. I think I know what you're going to say think i know what you're gonna say i know what you're gonna say too i think i know what you're gonna say i know what you're gonna say so i just

found out that bald eagles don't sound like yep nope that's actually the sound of a red-tailed hawk yep yep now the reason you don't hear what a real bald eagle sounds like in like the movies and whatnot is because they sound so weird like this post on all about birds says it pretty well like for such a powerful bird the bald eagle emits surprisingly weak sounding calls usually a series of high-pitched whistling or piping notes america went all in on this bird and people feel the need to lie to the public to maintain its dignity i find it so fascinating how people use nature for propagandistic reasons, and this is a great example. And when it came to selecting the official

bird for the United States of America, they had to benefit from being one of the few dissenting voices against the bald eagle. Wait, pause, pause. Because that bitch ass wanted a turkey. Turkeys are intimidating. Turkeys are funny. No, turkeys are ugly as hell, bro.

Look at that bird. Turkeys are, it is majestic. No, turkeys are ugly as hell, bro. Look at that bird. Turkeys are majestic. No, it's crazy. Okay, I vote turkey. It's crazy to name... Wait, pause it. Marge, you need to let it arrive while we're talking. Yeah, burn it up!

Turkeys are only the way... It is crazy to make turkey your fucking national animal yeah that would have been a major l world war ii would have been lost no no no no no we would have propagandized that turkey he'd be strapped with an ar-15 right imagine yeah like are you kidding me we the only reason you think that that bald eagle is cool is because you have been used to come. They're sick. I know. Yeah.

That's because you have been indoctrinated to think they're sick. They're like the apex predator of the sky. What are you talking about? There would have been a turkey on the symbol. Have you seen a turkey? They have bull sacks on their fucking face. Yeah, they have bull sacks on their face. Yeah, that's awesome.

Yeah, Loki. Yeah. No. That is awesome. I want to hear the eagle scream then. I don't know if I've ever heard a real eagle. Do turkeys eat meat? The bald eagle is a bird of bad moral character.

He does not get his living. Honestly, he's too lazy to fish for himself. He even joked that the turkey would be better. Though a little vain, he is a bird of courage. So yeah, this is what bald eagles sound like. That's still sick. That's really... So majestic.

Yeah, I heard a skinwalker make that noise once. It's a little more beautiful than I thought it would be. Yeah. I think it was just too effeminate. It's zesty. That's a zesty-ass sound. And we come from a patriarchal, misogynistic society. Homophobic.

Can't have a songbird as the national bird. No, we need a masculine. There you go. America Me Up is fraudulent, technically. Wait, I just... You know what national bird. No, we need a masculine. There you go. America Me Up is fraudulent, technically. I just realized that I'm a misogynist. Please put in a real eagle string. No, fuck that. Do female hawks sound the same as male ones?

Yeah. Wow. What? Where are you going with that? I sound the same as you. Can you pull up what a turkey sounds like? Yeah. I mean, that's pretty up what a turkey sounds like? Yeah. That's pretty good.

I was on turkey talk. As in turkey? No, no. Like my people? That's turkey talk. That's a little different. I was on turkey talk. Turkeys attack like cars.

They're vicious. They're vicious. Let's look at this fucking sound. I actually don't eat turkey on Thanksgiving. I think the meat quality is not great. That's insane. Come on. Dude, I mean, World War II,

we would have taken an L. Okay. Or maybe. Imagine if. Or maybe the USSR would have won the Cold War. Imagine a battlefield in World War II. The enemy surrounded in darkness and silence. No, imagine this. Imagine this. Hunger Games catching fire. The scene where the Mockingjay is

they're doing it on the speaker and they're making her go insane. They're going insane. Turkey. it's just for four hours straight how confused though would the enemy be if you just sent a turkey into like what would they do we strap turkeys up with bombs our greatest soldiers suicide bombing turkeys to disarm mines at one point? Yes. Yeah. Wait, this is cute. Someone fell in love with a dolphin during experimentation as well. We're going to go to the Patreon and talk about what animals we love.

But first, Brittany, you were such an awesome guest. Yes. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Brittany, what would you like to plug? I would like to plug my podcast called The Broski Report. You can find it anywhere you find your podcast and we have a youtube channel go subscribe to it and i have

a show called royal court which mr hashan has been on thank you so much amazing are we going to six flags live stream we're gonna do three days back to back disney six flags five flags universal i will commit to that. I will too. As long as we can just content farm it. Oh, we'll farm it. I'm a goddamn farmer. You know what? I'm going to be there this time.

You will not be there. You weren't invited. You were not invited. It's awkward. You kind of have a fiduciary responsibility to your gay people. I don't know what fiduciary means. I don't know. It sounded official.

It's a legal obligation to maximize shareholder value, but that has nothing to do with it. I guess that works. And my shareholders care about rim jobs, so we all care about rim jobs as well. Maximizing gay holder value. We'll see you behind the paywall at patreon.com.

Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you, Brittany. It was a blast. Tokyo Disney was like the best Disney in Disney Sea. And I went and I was disappointed. Is Disney Sea a water park? It's like a... No, it's just like a free kind of walkabout.

It's free, right? No, it's not free. It was cheap. It's the cheaper one, but it's more of like a walk. Like it's not as ride heavy. Like downtown Disney? Kind of, but there's some rides and some things, but it's more of like a walker. It's not as ride heavy as... Like downtown Disney? Kind of, but there's some rides and some things, but not a ton.

But Shanghai Disney is apparently the best one. Cut that, Marge! Please, Marge! Cut that! She's going to jump around. What the fuck? We have to cut that. Austin said something really inappropriate.

I did not say anything inappropriate this time, okay? Shanghai Disney. You will never know. He said the upslur. Shanghai Disney. We have to keep cutting upslurs. We wouldn't cut that if I said the upslur.

We'd keep it in. Keep that shit in there.