Fear& - This Is NOT Our One Year Anniversary | Fear&Healing Hasanabi

Episode Date: July 17, 2023

Idk how time works but according to people smarter than us this episode isnt technically our 1 year anniversary episode next weeks is. This week we learn the truth about how QTCinderella feels about us and how we’re just her gross useless side hoe slop pigs who she hates, also America me up is back! Okay enjoy goodbye!!🎉BONUS CONTENT🍾 🌟PATREON - https://www.patreon.com/FearAnd🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS - https://linktr.ee/fearand✰ follow Fear&! ✰Hasan: https://twitter.com/HasanthehunWill: https://twitter.com/TheWillNeffQT: https://twitter.com/QTCinderellaAustin: https://twitter.com/AustinontwitterMarche: https://twitter.com/MarcheFear&: https://twitter.com/FearAndPod0:00 - Intro / Austinshow is missing9:00 - QT gets vaccine at wills / cheats on Fear&18:07 - Recap of how Austin injured Hasan26:07 - QT gets denied to the Barbie Premiere30:30 - Willneff story of the week / Assembling an "art" doll34:35 - Dream podcast guests // Swiftie theory 42:25 - Breaking DougDougs world record, QT is in?52:20 - America Me Up! (Not the 1 year anniversary)59:10 - Names for their pieces / Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Just kidding. It's just because Austin's not here. So it's going to be a better pod. We're not going to talk about sex for 30 minutes. Than we've ever done before. True. I like that you very quickly fastened that in Austin's place. Guarantee it doesn't break the mic once. Guarantee it doesn't steal my snacks.

Guarantee he won't stop you from talking only to interject with a penis reference. Damn, we're roasting Austin already. He's not even here and we're roasting him. Let's fuck that. Two weeks in a row is actually mean. So this isn't the one year anniversary? No. Huh? So what week is this

This is episode number 52 So it's technically the one year anniversary When it comes out Apparently technically it's not Well Shit We're dumb I had one year anniversary stuff planned too

So your own basic math I had one year anniversary stuff planned too. So your own basic math. I don't understand it, but also I like the concept of like 52 episodes, 52 weeks versus one random guy in our discord. And you know, we love our discord. Don't we?

I trust that guy. I do. So that's right. We're, we're breaking the boundaries of space, time, and how all of that works. Next episode is the

one year anniversary of Furan. Oh, that makes sense. How old are you turning old? Piece of shit, piece of shit ass. I'm gonna be 32.

Wow. Disgusting. That's crazy that you and Slime are the same age. Why is that crazy? You mean Tony Star? No, he lost his hair. He's back to Slime. I think we need to go back to Tony Star.

I like the hair. I like the hair too. Actually, I lie. I'm lying. I didn't like the hair at all. I don't know. I just think he's... Why would you lie?

I don't know. I was just going along. I was just going along. I like the memes that came out of it, but I did not like the hair. I think we need to stop doing podcasts after you stream. Why? Because you're fried. No, I'm not.

Your brain is a bag of dick right now. No, it's not. It's not that at all. You literally just went along with us for two seconds. You're like, yeah, I like the hair. No, well, it was good. I cleared up confusion about what I meant. I meant I like the memes, but I don't like the hair in and of itself.

I think Slime is significantly more handsome when he's bald than when he has hair. When he has hair, he kind of looks like. Are you jealous of Tony Star? No, I like Tony Star as a character. I just think Sl slime is better. Okay. All right. I'm embracing my bald brother and the way...

Wait, why is it... That's nice of me. You're making it seem like I'm being polite. No, I'm not trying to do that. I'm just saying it's nice of you to support someone as they are. Yeah. Because hair pieces for men are like boob jobs for women it's fine without it but it's probably kind of pog when you have it okay fair i like that take

probably pretty pog fine okay there you go fair and so it's like very like it's good to be like i accept you as you are slime yeah i i think not only do i accept him as he is i prefer it yeah like i didn't but you're too pretty for that hair honey what sexually yeah sexually physically spiritually i want him i'm sad your australian boys left i know i'm sad too they i'm sad that this is the second time where i've had them stay at my house for like a month. Yeah. And I did not get them on the podcast. I thought they were going to be on this episode. Yeah, I asked them to be on the last episode, and you assured me it was fine because we'd get them on the next one.

No, because they were not supposed to leave yet. And then they did the thing that they did last time and cut their trip short. Why? What did you do to them that they didn't want to stay here anymore? First of all, they stayed here longer than I stayed here this past month so that's number one no they uh uh alexa was leaving already he was like slated to leave for san francisco for any extended period of time because they have like a awesome sauce i think is what it's called or open sauce not entirely sure it's a william osmond is doing like, like a science fair for adults.

Oh, that's cool. It's actually super sick idea. Sounds kind of cool. Yeah. And it's going to be hosted in San Francisco and they were supposed to, are you allowed to talk about this? I think it's.

We Google it to see if it's like, yeah, William Osmond open. Let's not be too tough on him. He had a boo boo. He had a boo boo. I did. I haven't told us about that either. Let's not be too tough on him. He had a boo-boo. He had a boo-boo. I did.

You haven't told us about that either. I also don't really understand what happened. Talk about the boo-boo. Oh, God. We've talked about it in every episode. What do you mean

every episode? Maybe look up. Who is this guy? Okay, yeah. Rain is a bag full of dicks. It's open. No, no. I was just making sure.

I was just verifying. Talk slowly, Will. Open Sauce is going to be out by July 15, July 16. It's already a public event. So they were supposed to go to that. But Alex, I did a thing. He had a sponsored video that he forgot to complete. So he literally is going back to Australia to film mud crabs,

like a couple shots with mud crabs that he can't do out here I was like I'll source it what you're gonna ask his mom or something I think he has to be in the video oh so um that's the reason why that's the reason why he had to leave early and Alexa went to San Francisco but is not coming back from San Francisco because uh yeah he's just gonna continue traveling and going back to Australia. So you already talked about your boo-boo and you don't. Well, I mean, I could talk about it again. It's just like.

You can talk about this. Yeah, I saw this. What is that? Oh, God. I'm so scared of what you want to do. What I wanted to do. What did you want to do? Do you want to tell the people at home?

You texted me saying saying oh on when you return i have a nursing outfit and i want to come nurse you back to health nurse him on stream and i mean well and i was yeah exactly sponge bath so here's so here's the thing that's patreon content just the top in my mind like my mind went to every other time that we've done like these kinds of quirky things together you mean great content that lives in infamy you know no great content that lives in infamy for sure like marcos so marco saint marco when you gave me a racing stripe and buzzed my hair so badly that i had to get it fixed again. Or then I thought about Marco St. Marco again when you came over and waxed my legs,

which, by the way, is great content. That was your stream goal. No, no, no. I know, I know, I know. They're great ideas. They're great content. I was just scared that you were going to accidentally hurt me. No.

Well, you dealt with it like an adult, and you told me that. No, I did not. No, what did you do? I just didn't respond because I... No, no, no, no. It wasn't like I saw the text message and I was like, oh. And then he made the Australians watch three hours of Louder with Crowder,

which I assume is why they are not here today. He should have just showed up. No, he wanted to play video games. I was like, no, I'm going no i'm gonna watch louder with crowder no he didn't say that either no what did you do you just left the group thread i put you in no i did that today you wrote in the chat no you wrote in my chat let's play a video game fuck steven crowder i was like no i said no and then left the group chat no no i left the group chat earlier today because it was like, no, I don't. And you said no and then left the group chat. No, no, I left the group chat earlier today because it was like pinging me. Marital counseling that I'm not good for.

No, he put us in a group chat, which he does all the time. I'll wear this in the Patreon though. I don't think he does it all the time. No, he does do it regularly, but like, or I get on the group chat. I asked to be put in the group chat, but then the group chat is fucking lit up.

Right. So I'm just getting- There were 10 messages in the group chat, but then the group chat is fucking lit up. Right. So I'm just getting messages in the group chat. Constantly pinged or total or sometimes over 48 hours. Listen, I also put him in a group chat. He didn't leave mine. I just want to know because your group chat doesn't fucking do calls. So I don't get like a random call. No, it's not.

It's not a bad thing. It's not a bad thing. They're just like doing it on stream. They're talking to one another on stream. And like the way my Discord works is usually on, like it's on streamer mode and it's busy.

Like it's on busy mode. So I don't see anything until after I'm done with streaming. And then it automatically flips a switch, I guess. It knows when I'm not streaming. And then I get all of the calls all of a sudden like it's like a notification blast on my phone anyway i've read you now it's time to move on to you i got a tetanus shot no i i got a tetanus shot yesterday what is that your

defense like before we even shit on you what's happening you were giving away proprietary fear and content to all your other oh my god dude dude yo this is fucked up guys it's eight hours of taylor swift lore it's unacceptable it's so unacceptable you she did another thing with like whine about it as well that like i forget now weed about it are you mad about weed no i'm not i don't i don't fucking what are you mad about lays up 420 style uh no you did something else fuck what was it i saw it and then i think someone literally replied to you or something if i imagine this where you were like whoa you didn't do this for fear and you were like well whine about it is the i remember someone complaining saying whine about it is your preferred podcast and Fear End is your backup.

What was it? Are we your side bitch? Yes, yes. What do you mean? Don't be shocked. Whine about it existed before I joined this. Of course you're my side bitch. That's fucking nuts, dude.

I give you my all. I didn't tell Maya about my tetanus shot. Oh, wow. Let's make a meal out of it cutie wow did you get a tetanus wetness shot in your army wall i can't wait that's really gonna hit the algo wants me to do tiktok time on wine about it and i said no i do tiktok time on fear and so i already said no to that do we have to fight maya's animals is that what's going on what's happening i went straight to the stompy and give him a noogie.

Yeah, what is that? Like, I will steal those otters and make them my best friends. She doesn't have otters. She has, like, an otter-type animal, no? She has a ferret. Oh, okay. That's like a bitch-ass otter. They can't fucking swim.

Right. I think ferrets might be able to swim. I've never heard a ferret referred to as a bitch ass otter yeah if you guys speaking of otters okay this is big news are you ready for this yeah march pull it up santa cruz sea otter steal surfboard cute what now we're talking also i talked to maya and she said those otters definitely get euthanized. Which otters? The ones you petted. No, you're a bitch for that. What is wrong with you? I'm so sorry. The absolute most.

Why did you say that? No, let's get into it. You're mad you didn't get on the flight. No, I'm not. And so you had to yuck our yum. No, I'm not. You had to go out there and find something to tear us apart. It's like telling a seven-year-old Santa Claus isn't real.

Who does that? I'm so sorry. They live forever. I lied. They're not just you. No, those otters were definitely, they were living. And then they get euthanized. Stop.

Stop. I can't believe you're still going off about this otter shit. Show the otter, though. Show this cute-ass otter. Hopefully this one does. This otter lives in the wild. Yeah, is this getting euthanized, too, for stealing? Hopefully.

Huh? Is that what you're going to fucking say next? Stealing is bad. Oh, my God. Look at him go. No, no. She, like, actually steals these, like, full-blown and will be, like, very territorial. It's a big-ass otter.

Why is it so fat? Oh, God. It's so fucking cute. I want it. I want her so bad. Why did she... Why did she? Why did the surfer give up?

She can live in my pool. It's perfectly fine. I just bought you an otter for your birthday. No, don't do that. Maya would be so upset. Yeah, I bet it's. Oh, my God. I can't live up to Maya's standards, okay? Yeah.

We already know you're, we're your side bitch. No, no, just ask her why she's not. Ask her why she's not vegan if she cares about animals so much. Oh, God. What's up? Uh-huh. Yeah. If you guys like women so much, why aren't you one?

What? Got them. That's ridiculous. No, I got them. Ridiculous and possibly transphobic. How about that? Oh, yeah. Oh.

He studied the blade. Yeah, don't even come at me like that. I don't know how to do that. Exactly. I don't know how to do that. Wow. Flipped it on your head. Yeah, going back to not as serious as a tetanus shot. You don't let me talk.

My injury. No, you said you've already covered that. No, I was just going to talk about the secondary. I was going to. Sir, I mushed my finger. See that little guy? I mushed it. You and Austin are the same.

In a rusty fence. I mushed it. You and Austin are the same. In a rusty fence. And I said, oh no, when was the last time I had a tetanus shot? And then I was like, oh my God, I don't remember. If you don't remember, you should probably get one. And so then. What if you just have bad memory? It it doesn't matter it's like you can get them for fun if you can re-up yeah it'll be fine anyway so then I was like she's what

the republicans are afraid of like a woman who gets vaccinated for fun with no limited to no autism maybe a little bit but yeah not this vaccine the tetanus shot gave you autism yeah and so so ludwig was like don't go to the er tonight because i was like i gotta go to the er and get a tetanus shot he was like don't do it because i was gonna die she mushed her finger i mushed my finger this little cut why did ludwig tell you not to go to the er is what i don't understand. Because I don't have health insurance. It'd be really expensive. I'm figuring out how to sign up for health insurance.

It's a whole thing. Did you guys know the enrollment period is only two months long? Cutie, cutie, cutie. You're just raw dog and tetanus shots off rip. It's $81 at CVS. And you don't have health insurance? Yes. The funniest part is she's a hypochondriac.

I'm getting it soon. I'm getting it soon. It's going to be amazing. Anyway. Oh, no, it's not. California State, very difficult to find. It's very expensive. It's very difficult and it's very expensive.

And you have to go through a broker if you want like an actual. I know. I talked to a broker. That's how I know. And I'm going to get it. Anyway. Because when I tried to do it on my own, they were like,

no, we're not selling you HMO all network health insurance. Did you want to talk about this tetanus shot? Cause it's a cry for help. No, I have a good story. So my friend Galen comes over to make friendship bracelets for the Taylor Swift concert this weekend that I'm going to,

cause that's what you do. And Galen rolls up and I said, do you have a box? Uh, for this weekend? Yeah weekend yeah yes it's my family it's full of my family wait yeah I guess you don't bring the side bitch Maya's not going uh did you ask Maya did you ask no no this is my family one did you have asked Maya well we're family yep no we're not no she just throws a load on our back and gives us some cab fare it's time to go you get cab fares don't even do that anyway galen shows up in my house and i said when was the last time you had a tetanus shot and she's like i think a few years ago and i said do you want to go get another one she said sure

so we go to cvs are all of your friends like you how long did tetanus they last like a decade she they last 10 years she thought which is a decade she yeah 10 years she thought that she'd be able to like just like kind of slide it in and not get a tetanus shot so we go to pay what do you mean like fake it no no she thought like like she thought she was like oh this hurts but she's not really like moral support essentially so we go to the cvs and i pay for one tetanus shot and then she doesn't get a tetanus shot and i said no no we need one more it's on me sweetheart and so then i buy her tetanus shot got your friend to get double up on tetanus shot yeah Oh, yeah. She's protected.

That's what good friends do is they protect each other from tetanus. You knew that she had already gotten a tetanus shot recently. Well, she doesn't know. She's not sure. If you don't remember, you should probably get it. That's not. Also, when do you get a meningitis vaccine? Do you guys know? I never had one.

I don't know. Maybe. I don't even. What is meningitis? I don't know. I saw it on the poster. They had a list of different vaccines. You're fine.

You get women-gitis. Spinal meningitis got me down. There's a whole song about it. Do you have your meningitis shot? Do I? Do you get it as a baby? Why are you talking like you regularly schedule your meningitis shots? I think you only need.

Oh, then I probably got it. If I got it as a baby, then I'm good, right? I'm like super autistic. I got all my vaccines. Did you get Gardasil? Oh, Gardasil sucks ass. I don't even know what that is. And I've been dreading getting my third one because it hurts the worst.

I don't know what that is. It's HPV vaccine. Probably. No, you would know. You have to get it three times and it's so painful you should go get it you want to go i need one more we can go together are you gonna get the other two when i keep getting them no then if you don't remember when you got them you may as well double down then you're fucking fake how about that that's fine you and your friend galby

you know she's a good friend to you. She's a good friend to me. What's her name? It's not Galby. Yeah, Galby is a beef. I was thinking about that, Galby King. I got a nice tennis shot. Wow, cool story. Hopefully you're saving the good ones for the Wine About It podcast.

Damn. God. Oh, am I being ruthless? That's crazy. No. Here's the one part that Will did not mention in our private text messages where I told him I've been feeling like shit and very depressed because I can't move and I'm immobile.

When he was fucking serving me up. And I responded and I said, whatever you need, King, I'm here to help you. You look awesome. You look hot today. And what did you say back? I think I didn need, King. I'm here to help you. You look awesome. You look hot today. What did you say back? I think I didn't say anything. You didn't respond to Gap. Yeah, because I was streaming at that point. I think, but it was like

I forgot to take my antidepressant today and this conversation reminded me. Good episode so far. No, but it's just like I'm very immobile and I hate it because I feel like I'm not. Wait, I don't even know what happened. How did you find out what happened?

I still don't know what happened. Because I was in the group thread that they were talking about it. Wait, it wasn't in our group chat? It was. No, it was in our group chat. I didn't see anything about you getting in an accident. Oh, probably because you were in the whine about it group chat. With just me and Maya?

That's not a group chat. That's just text. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. She doesn't even wine about a group chat. Oh, yeah. With just me and Maya. That's not a group chat. That's just text. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. She doesn't even call it a group chat. She calls it text messaging. Okay. I don't understand.

Because all of a sudden, Austin, did Austin get hurt in this? Yes. He hurt his fingers. Yeah. Austin, I final destinationed it because I would have been at that same meet and greet and I would have been in that golf cart and I would be fucked. Okay. Right now.

This is all, this is the only context I was ever given. Or you could have saved us because of weight displacement because like everyone. Oh, shut up. No, I'm serious. And just a little bit more weight on the left side of the golf cart and it wouldn't have fucking flipped. The only context I've been given is just this where will says austin did you flip a cart and marsh said yeah he did and austin said or and will said hey cutie do you want to record an episode

while they're out of town and then will said is hasan actually sure or is hasan actually hurt and then austin replies and said will i wasn't driving but i also got injured yeah so i follow up with my friends after they... That's all they said. No, but I... No, but he like searched it or he messaged it. I looked on LSF. So you didn't message anyone after you heard

that they had been in a car crash. No, a cart crash. So you'll grab Galby beef and make a day out of tetanus shot, but you won't even send a text to find out if Hassan's dead or not. Okay, if you want to know what happened and you're confused by it, my ribs are broken. That's my brother. My ribs are broken.

What happened is the golf cart flipped and Austin, like, landed. Where were you on this golf cart? Where was this? We were sitting in the back seat of the golf cart facing backwards because it was, like, a six-person golf cart. Where was it going to? It was going from, like, the Purple Lounge, Twitch Lounge, to our meet and greet.

And this guy was fucking crazy. He was driving it downhill driving it like 35 miles an hour hooks a u-turn because he has to hit her u-turn it starts skidding and it gets out of control and it flips twitch is trying some very new tactics to keep their streamers on the platform oh my god yeah they're like a little bit of action won't i mean it'll make it more entertaining Who else was on it? Rambo and Austin. She's like, you're irrelevant.

Who was actually on it? No, no, I'm just saying, like, was it full? Yeah, Rambo was on it. Austin was on it. A Twitch staffer was on it. Rambo got kind of doinked. Rambo got his foot stuck under the cart, so we, like, literally jumped out of the cart and immediately had to pick it up.

And that's what happened uh it's okay i mean the french doctor was like your ribs broken and uh and that's pretty much it he was just and i've been just living off of fucking uh my japanese painkillers which are pretty good actually and austin mushed his fingers uh and austin just got a little boo-boo on his... He needed a tetanus shot. No. He'll know. When was the last time he got a tetanus shot? I don't know, but he had a little boo-boo, but... Last 10 years ago.

When was... You don't know the last time he got a tetanus shot? I don't know, but maybe I might need it. Look at this. Look at it. No, it wasn't rusty metal. That was a road. Yeah.

Might be rusty metal on the road. Calling Maya? Calling Austin. Yeah. Might be rusty metal on the road. Call Maya. Call Austin. Yeah. Calling Maya to be like, I'm bored. I'm calling Austin because he's going to know. I'm bored. I'm with these fucking two losers.

They're not even talking. They're not drinking wine. Is Austin not going to answer me? Maybe he's upset at you too. Why? I think we should do an episode of the podcast called... Okay, I hate him. I think we should do an episode of the podcast called Rhyme About It.

What's that? Where we eat an entire wheel of cheese. I like that. I like that too. I like cheese. I think we're in. I love cheese. Yeah.

That'll be good. Wow. Well, I'm sorry about your injury. It's okay. Oh, great. Not the end of the world. What. Well, I'm sorry about your injury. It's okay. Oh, great. It's not the end of the world. What is she, a fan? No, I just...

No, it's not. It's not the end of the world. It's like, it's shitty because it's like rib injuries. It could be worse. He's fully torqued on Japanese painkillers. Maya broke hers at shit camp last year. What the fuck? You didn't know that? Oh, from the fall? She broke ribs? She broke Camp last year What the fuck? You didn't know that?

Oh from the fall? She broke ribs? She broke one rib I did not know that No she might have fractured it Actually maybe she was fine We went to the ER I don't remember

This is a dramatically Different story Each retelling I'm mostly disassociated So I forget things Yeah she Yes you and her are the same Are you trying to like connect yeah us to maya in some

way so you can feel more comfortable with this podcast yeah it's about time yeah without austin here why am i here yeah we don't have we don't have otters i'm sorry you are pretty to us oh my god it's true. 100%. What? You act like we're not supportive friends. We are supportive friends. What did you ask when, what did I say when you asked me

to do the spring concert? He said, I will do any event you ever want me at. What did you, what did I say when you asked me to do the spring concert?

You didn't reply because I didn't know. No, you never, no, because she didn't ask me. I didn't ask you. Because she didn't ask me. That was a trick. That was a trick. Yeah, because she didn't ask me. I didn't ask you. Because she didn't ask me. That was a trick.

That was a trick. Yeah, exactly. This is bullshit. Hassan, you don't sing, and you've been so adamant about not singing. That's crazy. I'm literally. Do you want me to do the opera voice right now? Half the AI songs on the internet. Yeah, what's up with that?

Are you going to sing opera? Yeah, you see that? You want me to keep doing it? I'll fucking keep doing it for the rest of the stream. Go ahead. I'll break windows in here with my fucking voice. You want to sing? I busted into that like it was nothing.

How dare you? You don't sing. I wasn't. I'll have you know I was in the choir. It's not even a lie. I was. I asked you to do every concert. You're like, I want to sing.

Do the concert. No, I'm not going to do that. I told you I'm going to do it. you're like do the concert no i'm not gonna because i wasn't asked for it in time oh my god plus you're doing the 22nd when is the concert 20th oh my god there's another mystery he's a he's a bitch he's you're better than him you'll show up you'll show up friday and no thursday and saturday you will show up to one and you'll show up Friday and no Thursday and Saturday. You will show up to one and you'll complain about it. You'll be like, I missed two hours of strain for this. Oh God.

20th and the 22nd. No, you're not coming the 20th. Oh my gosh. You said you can't. I think, I think she doesn't want me to go. You can come.

Go ahead. No, she literally said, I'm watching you gaslight this girl to rubble right now. I feel like you don't want me to come. It's kind of fucked up. She didn't take her antidepressants. I like you don't want me to come. It's kind of fucked up. She didn't take her antidepressants. I didn't take my antidepressants.

It's kind of fucked up. Hasan, I literally don't have leg room anymore because you have so many fucking boxed anime toys. They're not toys. They're figurines. What is this? Well, we have. That's manga.

Hasan, we have this and it just sits on the floor. You should have just taken ours. It's the whole manga? I would never concede defeat to Ludwig like that. He already finished it. You haven't. Yeah, I know. Exactly.

I don't want his pre-read manga. I'm sure they're sticky. What? Do you want to hear something funny? What? Oh, God. What did Ludwig do? Open up that bag of worms.

No, no, no, no, no, no. It doesn't have to do with cum. Austin's not here. Oh, my God. I really wanted to know the barbie movie premiere yep like really bad hasn't happened yet no it did no the premiere happened already yeah oh the premiere premiere yeah red carpet you know i was like were you invited no wait what do you mean you wanted to go to the wanted to go really bad like like you wanted to be invited to the bar my boyfriend is famous enough maybe and so i was he invited no but i said to my agency i said hey agency can you see if i can get an invite please and my boyfriend

will come with me um and so my agency reaches out to barbie they said who omegalol is ludwig and barbie somehow researches my twitter and they find my tweet where i did a tier list of summer movies coming out and i watched a bunch of trailers and i put barbie as in i didn't i had one tier that was would go to the premiere and I didn't put Barbie there and those petty bitches were like she didn't put us in the premiere tier so I didn't get a go that is the most insanely petty thing I've ever seen a brand new I respect it I respect that so much you don't deserve to go to the Barbie premiere why didn't you say you'd go to the premiere because I like went on this big rant about how I don't like leaving my house.

You know how I am. Which movie did you say you would go to the premiere? This is, that is Nemesis. A divine application of righteous retribution

applied by an appropriate agent. You spend too much time feeling sorry for yourself. Oh, no, you can't do that. It's YouTube. It's not on the Patreon. You spend too much time feeling sorry for yourself. Oh, no, you can't do that. It's YouTube. It's not on the Patreon. You spend too much time feeling sorry for yourself. No, I don't.

I'm just so busy. You went on a big rant about how, oh, I can't leave the house for this thing. I have a question, though. Which movies did you say you would go to? None. So you put a tier in your tier list that you weren't going to put anything in. Because, like, maybe if... She's like Oppenheimer.

She's a big Nolan head. Well, Barbie was my number one and Oppenheimer was my number two. Here's what I got to say. I don't remember the tear list. I think ultimately this all comes back to one thing. Hassan's fault because he's famous enough to get an invite and you didn't let me go to the Barbie movie. Wrong. You need to go to Japan with us.

Every moment of the day, I want to be in Japan. You know what I bought online? Dude, I agree. Picari sweat. I bought a 48 case of Picari sweat and I've been railing them. Oh, crazy.

Dude, it feels, I watched the new vlog that Austin Ox finally fucking edited and uploaded. Don't say it with that tone. No, I say it with that tone. He does his best. Except for when he argues with people on twitter he does a remarkable he does a remarkable job of arguing people on twitter

he also does a remarkable job of editing but you know he's the best there's no i'm saying that because i have like three videos that have not been released yet speed up um anyway so Speed up Anyway so Watching that video It Brought back a lot of beautiful memories They're like a month ago And it was an incredible experience Every piece of my body Now I've seen Kai going to Japan

Did you see that? The A&P boys Like Kai's going to Japan and I'm like I invented We invented that I invented going to Japan I invented going to Japanapan and i'm like i invented we invented that i invented offline tv did like four years ago i invented going to japan offline tv no they didn't did they i'm sorry ludwig went to japan before you guys i invented going ludwig stole it from me just like he stole the camping idea from will true i was like ludwig do you want to go to japan and love was like yeah and then he cut us out of his japan trip and he went before i've gone oh dude she just wants us to live as side

bitches i know to everybody i know good stories we're the sheen maya doesn't know either of those stories i called her right now she wouldn't even know i had a tennis shot wow sick geez my cup runneth over. Okay, where's your fucking story for the week? I'm sorry. I almost died. I already told you that. Oh, that was last week's story. You didn't even know about it. It was on the podcast that you're on.

I spent all day yesterday assembling a 150 pound Tifa Lockhart Final Fantasy 7 sex doll. Oh, so it is a sex doll. Why isn't it here? Well, it's... Okay, so it's not an art doll. It's mostly for art. The art of sex?

There's a lot of sexually charged... Can you pull up the... He's like being a weenie about showing his fucking stream for some reason. But can you pull up Will Neff's stream real quick? What is this?

Where'd you get this? So I had a March Madness style bracket. Go to videos. Oh, to buy stuff. To buy stuff. And the winner was Barnaby. Top clips. Uh-huh.

A very expensive taxidermy raccoon, but the runner-up was Tifa Lockhart, and I bought it. Yeah, what is it? This left-hanging one, what is that? How much was Tifa? Tifa, $2,300. God, you're rich. When did you get so rich?

I saw your sub count. Good job. You earned it. How much was the Tifa thing? $2,300. God damn. Jesus Christ. Okay.

That is rent. Not LA. That's rent. Shut up. Okay, you throw events that are like $700 million. Yeah, I'm rich. Cutie, when's the last time you paid rent? No, no, no.

You're appealing to the people. That's rent. When's the last time you paid rent? I pay mortgage on my house and water. Can I be honest? It's probably the same amount of time that you had a tetanus shot. Give it to me. No, what?

Okay, watch this. Watch this and tell me if this is a fucked up. Wait, where's the holes? Its mouth is closed. Are you okay? Tifa. Pause it for a second. I'm breathing like that.

I only saw this without audio. What the fuck were you doing? You were playing Tifa. I wasn't doing anything. Oh my God. I wasn't doing anything. Tifa was, she's got a mind of her own.

Just keep listening. Was it Tifa death noises? Is that what you said? No, I pulled up every Tifa voice line in the game and I would randomly go to them and we had a conversation for like 10 minutes.

Oh my God. Tifa! Thank you. Do you have anything else that you would like to say to chat? Huh? No way. Oh, so you don't want to talk to chat at all? Nothing.

Cloud. Okay, well. She called you Cloud. She's not big on you guys. Any final messages before we head out? Could all come crashing down any moment. Stressful. You're goddamn right.

It could come crashing down at any moment, Tifa. You make a really good point. And I'm... That was funny. You like that? Yeah. You executed her because she called you cloud. You should make a TikTok.

She was... I have a TikTok. Oh. You didn't know we had a TikTok? You guys have a TikTok? Yes. You don't have a TikTok? I don't have a TikTok.

You have a TikTok. Oh, my God. You're lying. Whine about it. I don't whine about it. TikTok. I don't have a QC and I don't have a TikTok. That's crazy. Well, why do I need it it why do you not know that will has a tiktok

why do i need a tiktok you're a bad friend because we work in social media yeah also i bet you follow my as tiktok i don't have a tiktok how do i follow anybody with the whine about a tiktok i don't run the one there's the whine about it. Does the one about a TikTok follow Maya? Yeah. Does the one about a TikTok follow me and Will? Also, I have a TikTok. I was trying to gaslight you guys and it was hard. I feel like I've seen you. I have a good TikTok.

I don't run it. Someone else. What is happening? We're falling apart. It's not like Austin's TikTok. Austin's TikTok is just a fear and tiktok yeah and it's actually he's way more followers than me so maybe i need to be a fear and tiktok yeah do that that's i kind of started that yeah that was that was will who started it keep it up i would post like a clip

from the fear and podcast and it would not do well and then will would post that same clip and it would go explosive. Really? Yeah. I don't know. My TikTok is cursed. Question. I'm going to bring Kaya in here. Can we get, you know, I don't know if this person's problematic because I don't know

YouTube. Who? Hannah? Yeah. Yeah, we can. Can we get her on the podcast? Yeah. That would be cool.

That's my, that's my, that's who i would like on this podcast why is that because she has a female ran podcast also with just two girls oh but they're like me and maya but hotter so that's your that's your number one go-to on the internet if you can get anybody on the podcast. I've never listened to their podcast, but I saw their podcast. The way that Marsh just leaned back in his chair. I wish you guys could see you. Well, I saw their podcast the other day and I was like, it's like me and Maya if we were hotter. And so now I want to meet her.

This feels like self-destructive behavior. You've never watched this podcast. I take care of myself. I got a tetanus shot. You want to talk to this girl because you think she's a hotter version of you. No, I feel like we're probably going to connect. Okay, that's better. Except for then someone told me that she married Jake Paul at one point.

And I was like, oh, I don't think we'll connect. Yeah, she did. Okay, can I say my number one person for the podcast ever? Mine is obviously Taylor Swift before Tana. Well, yeah. Yeah. But I don't think we can get Taylor. This guy says he's famous.

I don't say. Can I put someone up that I think on our best day we might be able to get? Who? Nicolas Cage. No way. I want Nicolas Cage on this podcast. You can't get Nicolas Cage. Even though, doesn't he have like gambling debt?

He did Dead by Daylight. He's got a video game to promote. We are a video game audience. Don't you have an agency? Isn't your agency does acting too? Yes. Why don't they ask? I haven't put it out there yet.

I wanted to see what you guys said. If you get Nicolas Cage, I will bring snacks. Okay. Oh, wow. Thank you. Why did you say that like that's going to be the thing? All right, number one person. What do you have to offer, Hasan?

If he brings Nicolas Cage, what are you giving him? Number one person that I would bring on the pod, Taylor Swift. Oh, my gosh. You're just trying to get in her box again. Not the box. Johner oh go ahead you bring john mayer on and i will be also very doable like his biggest fan the entire time we could we well i might have told about you already wow you know there's like i was like i have a friend who he was actually about actually i have a friend who doesn't like you

What's the conspiracy Oh you're giving us the Taylor content again Wait what yes I fucking want it What do you mean I just did an 8 hour lore session We know cutie You guys will need to listen to it And get back to me for the quiz later

However Everybody I haven't done a lot of research on this. Actually, Marsh, will you quickly Google what the hidden message for, um, all too well is in the red album? Just, you should be able to Google hidden message all too well. Album booklet. I just need to see this cause this, this will help me for a second. Okay.

Um, and then I'll be able to, I have a really strange conspiracy that I think no Swifties will agree with. Guide me. That was the hidden message? No. Oh. Go to Taylor Swift. Oh, Taylor Swift. Write down.

Fandom Wiki right there. Click on that. Yep. Okay. That'll get us there. Sure. The second one. Okay. And then. It's me's me i i'm the problem it's me latte dude here hear me out yeah we're swifties you guys are not gonna follow how did they wait

how is that message incepted in the book so in her digital booklet she would capitalize letters and leave you a secret message she's a machel maple guys 50s yo what is is taylor's just queuing on for white women like what's happening so if these buckle up here swifties i have this theory i have this theory that i'm still working on for the record and this is going to be a shock i don't think all too well is about jake gyllenhaal what about i think it's about john mayer and the reason being why are you pointing at me because because you're stupid i'm so scared i'm so scared the reason is if you listen to paper dolls which came out in 2013 that was john mayer's response to dear john right but in paper dolls he even talks about a scarf which all too well is all about this scarf also in all too

well she says something about isn't that literally about taylor swift losing her virginity to jake gyllenhaal no because she didn't she dated john mayer before jake gyllenhaal and she clearly lost her virginity to john mayer clearly because she has a song would have could have should have where she says you took my girlhood it was mine first you don't call anything besides your virginity your girlhood and also in in all too well she talks about like you're wrong you liked my innocence i don't think i'm wrong i think you're wrong i might be right and i think everyone jumped on the jake gyllenhaal thing and i think they're wrong i think you're wrong no yeah i'm just not i think you're wrong plus they broke up j or um john mayer and taylor swift are are we think they broke up

towards the end of December in 2010 because they did the jingle ball together and then they stopped talking and then they saw each other at the CMT Awards which inspired Story of Us

the song Story of Us is about being in the same room as an ex-lover and feeling really awkward YouTube it's on YouTube alright that was for the Swifties

I'll dive more into this theory later. Yeah, you're laughing, but you have to censor that. No, don't be crazy. It'll get fucking, no, it'll get us banned. Anyway, what's your story? It 1,000% will get us fucking dinged. Like, we will get banned. Got it.

Yeah, we got to just censor that. Just turn it into like a bouquet of roses. Ooh, pretty. God. No, please, let's not. He's gonna do it. Okay. Okay, that's a, thank you for the theory. Uh, you're wrong. But have you, have you considered

that you're wrong? How long did John Mayer and Taylor Swift date? Um, only for like three months. Not even. The timelines don't match up they actually like do no they don't they do though wrong do i have it on good authority that jake gyllenhaal is responsible for the scarf taking the swifties you asked john if he took a virginity no go fuck yourself get out of here he took her she wouldn't write you took my girlhood it was mine

first about i don't know if you know i'm just fucking with you i know i'm just saying i am being torn apart no i will no more taylor swift talk because our commenters hate it okay wait yeah they're always like they love you they're always like the boys let her talk about Taylor Swift again. Really? Where are they? I want to talk about something. Taylor Swift. You do. We'll have an America Me moment. America Me up?

Yeah. I was going to do it because it was our one-year anniversary, but apparently it's not our one-year anniversary. Fuck. Austin Cho is here, everybody. Okay, fine. And Spirit. So, I have a question.

Yeah. How many Cutie Cinderella streams do you do a year a few though right he has done if streamer awards won this year

maybe like one so then you're gonna do another one on the 20th 20th actually guess what you're gonna do a Will Neff stream okay

cause we're gonna break Doug Doug's world record wait what is the record and also were you about to say how many Will Neff streams have you done a year? Because I've done more Will Neff streams than I've done Cutie Cinderella streams. Well, that's fine.

Japan, baby. Oh, in your face, in your face, in your face. What a. Okay, but we're going to break Doug Doug's world record. What is it? For what? Doug Doug did a video. Fuck Doug Doug.

Fuck that guy. Okay, I've been putting together an elite. You're allowed four people. Okay. Four people in a car. Uh-huh. We're going to use Nandre. He is a black hole.

We're going to use you. You can eat. Me. I can eat. And we're going to get one more burly boy. The record is. Do you want to be a burly boy with us? I don't know.

Okay. You can't eat. Doug, Doug set this world record. You go to drive-thrus. Uh-huh. And you have to go to 10 of them. Uh-huh. And you have to go to 10 of them. Uh-huh. And you have to order whatever the car in front of you ordered.

And you don't know what you're going to get. And you have to eat 10 different drive-thru meals. Easy. Dude, that's nothing. So you'll do it. Oh, no, because if there's sauce on it. I don't like sauce. wait i'm sorry signing up for an eating challenge yeah and you were out at sauce yeah but maybe you guys can eat the

saucy things and i can eat everything else yeah next time i'm doing a triscuit eating contest i'll call you french fries how many can you put down so many that's a lot come with us we'll give you the non-sauced items but what if you lose because of me that would be stressful we will definitely lose because of you but that would that would add a lot of drama if we were like forcing sauce into your world but i'll eat anything dry do you have to finish the drinks yes i'm drink girl i never pee okay and we've already plotted out what restaurants we're going to. What? Starbucks is a must.

They did Starbucks. Easy. I'll drink that. I'm white girl. Easy. No sauce. You're milk de-seed. I told you that's the one that needs a new OXLR.

Okay. Starbucks. Starbucks. I'll go. I'm white girl. Crispy cream donuts. Got it. Easy. Jolie Bee. Starbucks. I'll go. I'm like girl. Krispy Kreme donuts. Got it. Easy.

Jolie Bee. Chicken. Got it. Jolie Bee is to really rub it in Doug Doug's face that we're superior. Okay. Why? Did he do Jolie Bee? No, he did KFC and it almost killed him.

Why? Because he got a bucket. Bitch. Wait. Oh, he did it by himself? He drank gravy. Wait, did he... I could do that.

Did he do it by himself? You said you don't like sauce. That's not sauce. They technically called in a pinch hitter for the last restaurant, so they didn't even make 10 pure. If we make 10 pure, we set the world record. I'm good on the first three. Wait, is this like Guinness certified?

No, it's more of a bragging rights thing. Okay, no, no, no. I'm fine with it. Okay, what's the next one? Do you want to know which ones Doug Doug did or which ones I want to do? What do you want to do? I want to do, oh, In-N-Out. I, unless.

Oh, fuck, that's scary. I can eat the fries. I got the French fries. The In-N-Out is scary because like sometimes they get like those big, but I'm envisioning like a big ass box. I'm going yoshinoya what is that just rice and meat just i got it all right cuties in i am helpful besides in and out with the sauce i was gonna do mickey d's you can eat the fries i'll eat the fries i'll suck the drink if they got ice cream i'm in so you guys want to do this because i'm doing this soon i this soon. I want to. Because I want us to set a record.

I'll do it. I just won't eat for like a day so I can displace the calories that I'm about to gain. What? Wait. So. Oh, Nondre. Oh, so Austin can't come. I get it.

It's fine. I love Austin. I love Austin. He's good at so many things. Maybe he can drive. No. No. No. He can't drive golf cart incident 2.0 okay well yeah austin is great you don't need he's just so bad at eating maybe hang out maybe he would be you'd be like oh can we substitute it with chicken can i get like

a instead of a baconator can i I get like a chicken? Yeah. Can I get a grilled chicken, please? Instead. I don't want the baconator. I might make us lose, but I can eat French fries like nobody's business. Nandre is the other guy

I'm bringing. Can we go to Taco Bell, please? Yeah, we can do TB. They did Del Taco. We can do Taco Bell. Oh,

so much better. if we're smart, we would do both Del Taco and Taco Bell because they're such small portions. Yeah. They also did

Panda Express, which almost killed them. Oh, that's crazy. Can we do Chick-fil-A? Yes, that was my other restaurant. Oh, because everything's small. And healthy. And healthy.

I was also thinking about throwing a Panera Bread in there. Oh, if you get a sandwich? They have a drive-thru Panera Bread? I can eat a salad like nobody's business without dressing. I mean, I'm fine. Someone would have to drink the dressing? I'm fine to destroy. If I don mean i'm fine someone would have to drink the

dressing i'm fine to destroy if i don't eat it someone would have to drink the dressing i drink the dressing for you i just doug doug was walking around like he was the cock of the walk we set a record i want to lay him low wow mean, who was he doing it with? Barry was one of the people in the car. I didn't know the other guys in the car. All boys, sexist, Doug Doug. And we did it with a woman. Well, we haven't done it yet.

I'm just saying that's what we're going to do. We're going to eat all the fries. And then we have to like. Why did you sign up for this? We have to take something like lower cholesterol after. I don't think Cutie can we have to like. Why did you sign up for this? We have to take something to like lower our cholesterol after. I don't think Cutie can say no to events. Yeah. This sounds like a miserable sign.

And Cutie's like. Ah. No, it sounds fun. I'm genuinely confused as to why you said yes to this. Sounds fun. It's going to be a great live stream. Also, he didn't ask me. I inserted myself.

I know. That makes it even weirder. I'm so glad you did. It sounds fun. I'm so glad you did. I think it'd be fun. Because I'm going to rent a big car, like a Hummer, and then someone can drive us around. Will we fit in the drive-thrus?

We need to strategically think. It's America. What do you mean, can a Hummer fit in a drive-thru? What the fuck are drive-thrus made for? We need to strategically think about the restaurants with the smallest amount of portion, like their smallest portion size. Like Chick-fil-A, that's a small portion. That's good shit.

Chick-fil-A is perfect. I don't like that she's in and out is also no tactics especially if someone dude imagine someone orders a protein style burger you get a lettuce wrap i hope because doug got two restaurants where all they ordered was us ice cream before them oh dude 10 places and two of them are ice cream went to krispy to Krispy Kreme twice. That's what I'm saying. That's cheating. This man was walking around the world record. You can't go to the same thing twice. That's bitch made.

That's right. The issue about Krispy Kreme is it's probably a dozen. No, two donuts both times he got. So listen, I respect Doug Doug. Doug Doug has a man in the pocket, dude. There's no shot. I respect Doug Doug so much as a creator that I want to destroy him.

I understand. Yeah. The fucking Krispy Kreme twice. Is there another thing like Starbucks? Wait, why don't we do bean... Barney's Beanery? Or what's it called? Coffee Bean. Is that cheating to do...

They went to Krispy Kreme twice? Yeah, we can go to two drink places. They also called in a designated eater for their 10th location. What do you mean a designated eater? A fifth eater came in to eat all the food. What is the fifth eater? Was he like a professional eater? We're fine.

Yeah. I actually think we're so fine. Well, I'll see you guys next week. I'm ready. Jamba juice. Now you're pimping the system. One smoothie. next week. I'm ready. Jamba juice. Now you're pimping the system. One smoothie.

What are more beverage places? Well, you know what I thought? I'm gonna be sitting in the back having drunk all the coffee. DQ, Dairy Queen. Fun. That could be, imagine it's like a birthday party. So they ordered like an ice cream cake. Chili dogs, oh my God. A birthday cake. Speaking of, Wienerschnitzel, it's just a birthday party. So they ordered like an ice cream cake. Chili dogs. Oh my God. A birthday cake.

Speaking of Wienerschnitzel, it's just one hot dog. Wienerschnitzel doesn't have a drive-thru. Whoa. Yeah. Also, some of these places that you're talking about, I don't even know where the fuck we would have them in a- Like we couldn't go to like- We'd have to plot a route.

Like we can't do- We can do it on a Sunday, right? Yeah. What's a burger place that's really good, but their burgers are so big? Fat Burger. Five Guys. No. Shake Shack.

Shake Shack. Yeah, we can't do Shake Shack. Why? Because everyone who goes to Shake Shack gets the biggest burgers. I could eat it. Hassan is completely unafraid. His hubris might be the death of us. I think we're going

Starbucks, Jamba, T-Place, Chick-fil-A, Del Taco, Taco Bell. Well, if we do it this Sunday, we can choreograph the pod release. Fast food, I can put it down. Chick-fil-A's closed on Sunday.

What do you mean? I'm going to Denver tomorrow Oh, she's going to Denver. What? Swift. With Galby. With Galby beef. Galen. I'm sorry.

I don't remember all of your other side pieces. I'd probably remember it better if I had been invited. Yeah. To get a tennis shot? No. To go to Taylor Swift concert. You know what we mean. I will get a tennis shot with either of you.

I want to be in the box but i want to eat a little finger foods i want to sing about a screen door to scarf we're not even good enough for the fucking denver taylor swift it's my family we're not even good enough for cutie to introduce to her family in front of my mormons i would not ever sworn my once in your life? I will not talk about 9-11 and why America deserved it at all. No, they would like that. Oh, wait, what? Why?

Oh, because like America's not Christ-like enough or something? No, I don't know. I just made that joke. Because they're Republican, but then I realized Republicans really. No, Pat Robertson once famously said America deserved 9-11 many, many years before I did. So did Dinesh D'Souza. These are both political. I'll ask him this weekend. Pat Robertson's dead. Oh deserved 9-11 many, many years before I did. So did Dinesh D'Souza. These are both political. I'll ask him this weekend.

Pat Robertson's dead. Oh. But he just recently died. No, I'm not going to ask Pat Robertson. I'm going to ask my family if they think America deserved 9-11. Oh, okay. No, no, no. But ask him in this way.

Are you ready? Okay. Do you think 9-11 happened because America has too much homosexual degeneracy? Okay. Jesus Christ. That's what Pat Robertson said. By the way, I did a prepare in America me up this week. Okay.

For the one year anniversary. Do you want me to do it now and then do another one? I feel like you're supposed to wait. Next year? Unless you have another one. We can do another one. Do another one next year. Just wait another year.

I can do another one. Next year. Marsh, okay. In order to do this. That's funny. Why? You can do another one. But you can do another one second order to do this right look the next one will be perfect this will be the warm-up okay okay will you wear this is the way i do it i'm gonna say it's time to america me up and then he will put in an eagle scream maybe like footage of like fireworks going off.

Someone cranking a baseball. I shot the baby. Someone with an AK-47 in a mall. Right. I mean. It goes on like this. I can America you up right now. I got fireworks.

Oh. He does have fireworks. And they're like the. You're a pussy though. Because Kyla is in his house. And you didn't like any in your house. You didn't like any in your house. Idiot.

No. I was gone. And Marat apparently did like some of myat apparently did like that was one of the finest piece of contents ever made that was crazy what does his house look like it was destroyed i know does he still live there okay there's a difference between me and kai in the sense that uh he has mostly like he's an entertainer he's a very good entertainer and his audience is like much younger than mine. I on the other hand can't really sneeze without 11 motherfuckers 11 motherfuckers writing

dissertations about how the sneeze actually betrayed the revolution. If you think I could light up my own fucking 7 trillion dollar mansion on fire with fireworks and walk away unscathed. Finally, he talks about the actual price.

Yeah. This is the most expensive mansion. Okay. It's time to America me up. America me up. Put it in the edit. We thought that we would maybe have Austin for the one year anniversary, but we don't. Have you ever heard of the legend of Jumbo?

The clown? The tron. Jumbo trons. I don't know. An appendage of an American president. William Taft. No. That's what I thought, too.

He's fat. He's fat. Lyndon? B. Johnson. Oh, his dick? His dick. Oh, yeah. Lyndon Big Dick Johnson. There Oh, his dick? His dick. Oh, yeah. Lyndon Big Dick Johnson.

There has been quite a bit of documentation about American presidents and their penises. Obviously, the Clinton scandal, that cock was as well documented as any offender in history. Was it public? Yes. There is one cock that reigns above the rest. Yeah. And that is Lyndon that reigns above the rest. Yeah. And that is Lyndon B. Johnson's Jumbo. Yeah, he's got a hard one.

He apparently had one of the biggest, fattest cocks the world has ever seen. And he would make dough. Stew with it. He'd put it in the pot and he would stir it around. Whose America Me Up is this? Stew? I just assumed. No, he would pull it out at random times. Apparently, when he was, not the stew. No, I thought you were saying pulling it out of women at random, like the pull out method was Lyndon B. Johnson's.

No, you're just saying sexual harassment. He invented the pull out method. Cool, very cool. No, he would pull it out at random times, like when he was negotiating. And he would say, have you ever seen a cock like this? Have you ever seen one of these? Or like when someone would come into the urinals,

he'd turn around with his cock out and he'd be like, take a look at this. He would also apparently urinate in the parking lot of the White House. Frequently. Oh my God. And he nicknamed his penis Jumbo. Has anyone ever drawn it? Like a, like, okay.

Are there? Okay. Listen. I have additional lore here. Criminal drawers. When you explain. No, there's no courtroom documentation of Jumbo. However, there is a penis drawing of not a president, but a vice president.

Oh. Dick Cheney. Yes, that's right. Also known as Big Dick Cheney. Dick Cheney used to also have or still has a very fat penis. Maybe the reason why he had to get multiple heart surgeries. Not enough blood to go around. Yeah.

What? Really? Yeah. However, one fun fact about Big Dick Cheney is that he was a model in college for art students. Oh. So there exists drawings by college students of Dick Cheney in the nude. Have you seen them?

With his fat cock? No, but I have seen his cock. You want to pull up the Dick Cheney cock photo? Just look up Dick Cheney penis and it'll come up. So no one's, we don't have documentation of jumbos? No, unfortunately there are no pictures of jumbos. There's no measurements or anything? What the fuck?

Why is this being suppressed? Just say Dick Cheney, big penis. Oh, there are no pictures of jumbo. There's no measurements or anything documented. What the fuck? Why is this being suppressed? Just say Dick Cheney, Big Pete. Oh, T.L. Yep, there you go. Yep, there's a photo. That's it. That's the one. Let's take a look.

Take a look at that. Oh, my God. Take a look at that whopper. That's crazy. Oh, my days. It's got weight on it. Do they have a picture like that? The weight of a million Iraqi children that he murdered.

Jumbo. Lyndon B. Johnson. No, but there's much documentation. There has to be a picture like that, don't you think? Like him just standing somewhere in tight pants. Let's see. Google Lyndon B. Johnson in tight pants. For a hundred, Alex.

Not how you write Lyndon B. Johnson in tight pants for $100, Alex. Not how you write Lyndon. That's not how you write Lyndon. It's a time thing. It's a time thing. Oh, there we go. Him putting his leg up right there. Oh. Oh, is that it on the left side?

Wait, does it hang left? No, no. That's his kneecap, man. I don't know. No, no, no. With the dog. With the dog. With the dog. It's on the top. You clicked on it no, that's his kneecap, man. I don't know. No, no, no, with the dog, with the dog, with the dog. It's on the top.

You clicked on it already. It's the second photo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Zoom in. Zoom in on Lyndon B. Johnson's. No, no. Is that dick meat? No, no, no, no, no. That's pant crease.

You're fucking out of your mind. Pants are too loose. Wait, is this? Wait, this is. Wait, that's a seated photo. This is problematic what we're doing. Why? He's dead. And he also used

it to sexually harass everyone. Oh, shoot. So we're trying to see if it was worthwhile to look at. I just realized. Maybe that's why. Not because it was the time thing and women were not able to speak out about sexual harassment, but instead they were like, well, that is fascinating.

Like all the men and women that saw it were like, well, you know, to be fair. He's right. He's right. Yeah. Hello, hello, hello, hello. Hello, hello, hello. I can just take Austin's mic. I can just take Austin's mic.

You got levels. Am I back? Hello, hello, hello, hello. Yeah. So, anyway, I thought that was an interesting America Me Up. Have you ever had a male friend who has a nickname for his member? No. Do you have a nickname for your member?

Are you asking me? Yes. Methuselah. The Methuselah. Do you know what a Methuselah is? No. Is it like a zoo? No, it's a giant bottle of alcohol.

Go ahead and pull that up, Marshall. It's a Methuselah? It comes from a biblical reference. And also, mine was more so from The Matrix. Matrix Part 3. This is also pretty good. This is... Did you not know that that's what a Methuselah is?

No, I know, I know, I know. Look at that one. Yeah. That's a Methuselah. I also have a nickname for my penis. What is it? People's champ. I like that.

That's funny. Marsh, do you have a nickname for your dick? Look up Methuselah Matrix. Look up Methuselah Matrix. You don't have a nickname for your dick? Marsh said he has a... Wait. You can just lie.

Yeah, he said. Oh. He says the humdinger. Oh. Wow. That's what he said. I named my boobs in high school. Whoa, what?

Yeah, the arbiter and master chief. No. There's no way. I did. That is awesome. Why did you? They're a great duo. They are a great duo. They are a great duo.

That's funny. Which one do you like more? Look up. The one that's slightly bigger. Is that Master Chief or Arbiter? Yeah, that's Master Chief. Look up Methuselah Matrix. What was that?

Why isn't it showing up? Why? What do you have? Yeah, your thing's all blocked. It's a craft. Those are the oldest star in the universe. Dude, that's a good penis nickname. I think so.

Ludwig doesn't have a penis nickname? I'm shocked by that. It's probably just Ludwig Jr. He calls everything Ludwig Jr. Oh. Does Slime have a nickname for his penis? Why would I know? What do you mean? We expect you to know.

I want to imagine a world where right before sex, Slime always says it's Slime time. No, right before coming. Anything that would be more apt? Right as he's about to come? It's Slime time. I love that. Maybe

he's tried it once. I'd like to imagine that world is true. If he hasn't that seems like a missed opportunity. Yeah it does. Anyway that's the America me up. That was good. America me up. Yeah. Now you know something. Now you know. I didn't know that. And on that note I think it's time for the

paywall portion of the broadcast. Wow. Should I go put on the nurse's costume? Alright. Will's gonna nurse me to health in the nurse's costume on this episode. I'm going to give Hassan a fucking sponge bath. Oh, God. I'm so scared. I'm so fucking. I'm actually scared.

Please don't hurt me. Anyway, thank you to everybody. Next year is our one year celebration. Next episode. Next episode is our one year celebration. And we're going to do something special, aren't we guys? I'm going to bring sparkling cider. By the way, when do you get back from?

I get back on either Sunday night or Monday morning. So Monday or Tuesday we do some eating? Tuesday we could do it. Eating. A little eating stream? I could do it Tuesday. All right. No, we can't do it Tuesday.

He's the harder one. He wants to do weekends. Yeah, this guy. No, because it's my, I think, next Tuesday. Oh, we can't do it. He wants to do weekends. Yeah, this guy. Oh, because it's my, I think next Tuesday. Oh, no. Next Tuesday is not my birthday. That's Murat's birthday. Okay.

Well, Murat can come with us. He can drive. I don't think he wants to do that. He probably wants to go to a birthday dinner, which you are probably supposed to be coming to as well. I can't believe I wasn't invited. So Monday? I can do Monday. I can't believe I wasn't invited. So Monday? I can do Monday. I don't know if I'll be back.

Figure it out. Why? Because I'm doing it based off of how tired I am when I'm driving, because it's 16 hours, so I have a hotel house. Why are you driving to Denver? Oh, you're such a freak. Oh, my God. Nothing can hurt me. I have a tetanus shot. That's right. Well, we've such a freak. Oh, my God. Nothing can hurt me.

I have a tetanus shot. That's right. Well, we've said it all. Thanks for joining us. See you behind the paywall. No, I don't want to do this one. Oh, my God. Sir.

Johnson. Stop. See, this is why he's too strong for his own good. I'm like scared that he's going to fucking do a sudden move. You were groping my titties. Yeah. You like it. You like it, you slut.

Sir. Oh, man. Shut up because I am showing you something. Doesn't mean he asked for it. They did not include the bobby pins for my hat So it just kind of How much was that costume? Not much Really?