Fear& - We Got Arrested in China | Fear&

Episode Date: November 17, 2025

they trashed my hotel room for this.. ✨EXTRA BONUS EPISODES ON PATREON✨ Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/FearAnd 🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS 🎧 🔊https://linktr.ee/fearand ❤️ follow our guest ❤️Caroline: https://twitter.com/carolinekwan ❤️ follow Fear&! ❤️ Hasan: https://twitter.com/Hasanthehun Will: https://twitter.com/TheWillNeff QT: https://twitter.com/QTCinderella Austin: https://twitter.com/Austinontwitter Marche: https://twitter.com/Marche Fear&: https://twitter.com/FearAndPod Chapters - 00:00:00 - welcome to the new fear& podcast 00:03:15 - the cultural collision 00:06:31 - how much did austin show bring on the trip 00:10:28 - the competition 00:12:33 - the jealousy of Chinese cities 00:14:51 - cashapp 00:16:37 - shes a survivor 00:19:17 - hes so close to fluent 00:21:10 - china is like disney land 00:23:33 - 7 floor club and im editing with spotty internet because it rained 00:27:49 - introducing the pharoh 00:30:00 - zocdoc 00:30:54 - the WILL he wont he that did 00:34:01 - breaking bread with the locals 00:37:23 - ive been experiencing with scat recently 00:40:35 - we were almost deported today 00:45:55 - who was the best fighter in the group 00:47:17 - caroline and austin or caroline and will 00:49:32 - a true display of love 00:52:01 - we are in real danger 00:57:30 - how we almost got arrested 01:00:00 - the meme that almost blew up the whole trip #hasanabi #china #podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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What's the theme of the jingle? I want one that represents lost love. Maybe something that's a little bit low down and soulful. Really, really. How is that? Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another fantastic episode of the Fear and podcast this time for the first time in recorded history, live from China. That's right.

We are here with the Chongqing. Yeah, we are in Chongqing, China. How do you say it? Chongqing, which is the, with the Chongqing local accent. Yeah. Oh, the local. That's right. And we are joined by Will Neff, Hassan Piker, and...

We're regular, this is our show. Thank you, Austin. Thank you, Austin. You were the late edition. Austin and I are joined by... My lovely girlfriend, Caroline Kwan, and myself, Austin Kwan. Austin Kwan, which I changed my name before we got legally married. Should to be engaged.

Would like to welcome Wilnav and Hassan Piker to the Fier Ann podcast. Wow, it's such an honor to be on this podcast. It's a pleasure to be a guest on the show I built. Austin will be joining the Kwan Dynasty. That's right. I will be. I will be. You have been handing that out like hot case. No, I have not.

You have to be more selective. It's just Austin Kwan. That's right. Austin Kwan. He's the only one who's gotten into the Kwan dynasty. I have denounced my homosexuality and joined the Kwan dynasty. Why can't you? It's like a citizenship.

I just didn't, I denounced it. Okay. I do this. No more you do it. That's, that's, that's, that's, That's blessing. You do the sign of the cross. You do the sign of the cross to denounce it.

Okay, I'm going to be honest with you, three weeks in, you would be getting the shakes. You'd be getting the dick shakes. The dick shakes. You don't think I could survive without dick. Not just something that happens at a urinal anymore. Yeah, you would, yeah, you literally would walk up to the restroom while someone's pissing and just be like, okay. Here's the thing, you can have a male concubine. I have seen you.

Oh. When you are horny. Uh-huh. We both have, we experienced it. Oh, you mean the first 72 hours of this trip? You were climbing up walls. You said a woman turned you on. Okay.

You said you got a massage and you were like, it was weird. I was a little turned on. Well, they kept touching my penis. What am I supposed to do? She did not touch your penis. She did not touch his penis. Well, through the towel. An elderly Asian lady.

She was at least 40 At most, I mean, sorry, at most 40 I just don't So we've seen you at your worst Yes Also, I mean, I got to see A cultural collision Involved with your horny

When you had our amazing handler Irene Help you order lubricant No, you did not On a Chinese shopping I thought that was a joke When you said You're going to send the lube up.

No, no, no, no. First of all, first of all, it doesn't just start there. He and I were walking to a Lawson and a employee of the hotel who spoke some English decided he was going to help us find the Lawson. He walks with us, and I'm picking out snacks. And Austin goes, lubricant. No, I didn't say it. I'm looking for lubricant.

I did not say. Is this lube? No, no, no. And he goes, not water based. No. Not water based. Not. Well, well, well, well, well.

That is not how I approached. Do I understand why you wouldn't want a water base? Okay. So he just gives up. The viscosity. I think he couldn't translate. No, no, hold out, hold on.

Or the shame was... Wait, this was at the Lawson? This was at the Lawson? Or the shame was too great. You were talking to the Lawson employee? No, I was talking to an employee from the hotel who walked us over. Will, will. Let me explain.

He likes to keep people hostage sometimes. But wait, let me finish the story. And then you could defend yourself. We get back. No lubricant. He grabs Irene, our handler. And he goes, are there any Chinese delivery apps

where I can get some lube and if you don't believe me I'll send this to the editor I have video of him in the lobby I don't think there's a single person walking her through water based versus silicon based

How do you say it in Chinese? I don't know I don't know So here's the deal First of all Why didn't you ask Irene Well here's the deal First of all

I am a man of needs And I'm sorry, as gay men, when we have coitus, we do not have self-lubricating accessories. So we need what they call, what the people call lubricant. Right. And I went to this pharmacy, and we were escorted by a hotel employee, but I didn't, well, you must correct the record. I did not speak to him like that. No, we had a conversation, but you were. I wasn't like lubricant.

Like, you're making me seem like a monster. No, no, the first time you went, I'm looking for lube. And when that didn't translate, you went lubricant. Yeah. Lubricant. Okay, are you ready? Just for the future. Oh, oh, easy.

So we went to the convenience store. I couldn't find lubricant. And I asked the gentleman, I said, is there a Chinese delivery app that I could download? And he showed it to me. And I said, is it in English? And he said, no. And so I was like, I was at a loss. And so I went to Irene.

And I was like, Irene, look, I was wondering if you could help me download the delivery app. And she said, no, no, no, I'll just get it ordered for you. And I said, well, shame. Are you sure anything you'll order for me? She's like, ah, I know what you want. And then she pulled it up immediately. Wait, she knew without me. Oh, because her best.

She knows you so well. Yeah. Why didn't you bring some with you? I forgot. You brought everything else. I forgot it. Austin, literally. He brought a helmet.

I've talked about this already. Yes. I'm talking about it on stream, but I have to talk about it again. We walk into LAX. Oh, no, there's going to be in the vlogs. Will and I, and you will see this on the vlog, if you subscribe as a Patreon subscriber, you will see the entire experience, but I have to bring this up. We walk to L.A.X. By the way, there's going to be dozens of hours of hotel reviews. Yes. Yes. Yes. He has a lot of thoughts. But we check in our luggage. Okay, Will and I are fine. We have heavy luggage, but it's not over like the legal limit okay because the legal limit is 72 heavy bag limit is 50

Austin's like 75 pounds yeah he was over that he was like 82 no no no that was that was that's the last time yeah that's that was the second leg of the trip yeah yeah this LAX they tell him like they tell him to do the walk of shame across to the other side to open up his luggage and repack it so that uh he can you know like he he he's under seven distribute the weight. Austin opens up his luggage. I'm filming him for the vlog. And I see a fucking helmet

in the goddamn luggage. This man brought an actual helmet to China. Now, you think it's a helmet, but it's actually a helmet. It's a red light. It's a red light laser helmet for male pattern baldness. It's always for your skin. No, I've got that one too.

Oh my God. How many fucking The one for my face is a red light panel. The helmet is a red light helmet. Look, for those of you out there, I am your representative for you're suffering for male pattern baldness. Everybody knows you got to throw. We suffer for male pattern boldness. Clearly. Don't look at me.

No, I'm looking through you, baby. There's one of us here who does not suffer from male pattern. We've handled it. I know you're not a man. We've handled it and we both have handled. it and neither of us had ever needed a fucking helmet I got recommended I got sold

it by the doctor the hair doctor said it was a great idea so I bought it. He's just making commission off you. The funniest thing was that you two though when you saw how much stuff I had started giving me shit he was in the background like hopefully they don't see everything I have because I did not bring as much as this man

that's right. Yeah you've also been stopped at every checkpoint in China they won't let you into Burger King without patting you down. Without recognizing the Kwan Dynasty Yeah no that's what it is That's why they keep

Stopping you Here's the deal That's why you wanted me to be here Represent Here's the deal Yeah we needed someone Chinese And we couldn't find them So we got Caroline

I am being criticized For my routine And frankly I think it's homophobic Because if I was straight I would have none of these routines Yeah you would Oh okay And no if you would just take

Propitia Well I do topically. No, no. Oral propitia. You've refused to swallow it. Why is it? Because the libido thing? Yes. You're concerned. Okay. Do you the, yes. I think we can rain your libido in a little. No. Yeah. Oh yeah. After. I think you'd survive.

The first 72 hours, I think it was, I was, I was thinking about crump. I was thinking about, like, breaking my propitia pills and putting it in your water. You were noticing it? You were just spike me with propitia pills? Turn down. Why are you so scared of it when these guys are on it and you know them? Well, I'm scared of it because clearly they could go a lot longer without pussy than I could, dick. What? That means... Wait, was that in the insult? No, that doesn't make sense.

You're indicting her. No, I'm not indicting. And also, not only that, but also... Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on. No, no, no, but what you're saying is that we have a lower libido than you do. No, no, I didn't mean it that way. I may... No, speak.

No, oh, shit. This is one of those moments. where I put my foot very far into my mouth. It was a double whammy because it also didn't make sense. I didn't mean it. What I was trying to say is they can go a lot longer

if we were to like have a competition where they were restricted. You really think that you cannot go as long? No, no, I think I can go longer. I think I could maintain myself longer. I disagree. I disagree.

Because I've seen you. And you are an animal. Well Anyway, yeah, you need some Propecial First of all, I'd like to make an apology to Caroline Kwan I didn't mean it that way

That's not what I meant Just letting you know The future Kwan family dynasty In your No, but you know I didn't mean it that way, right? I crave her pussy all the time

No, no, no Okay Well, you know, let's No, but hold on But I need to clarify Caroline Is it clear that I didn't mean it that way? I was trying to compare the two

Between I mean, I don't, I think you have a wonderful wonderful pussy. Wonderful what? I've never seen. You think I have what? I've, what do I have? She's got a nice pussy.

You've got, tell my girlfriend, she has a nice pussy. Caroline Kwan. You have a prestigious pussy. Oh, prestigious. He, he, he saved the landing because, like, that's the gayest way to refer to a pussy. That really is. Like, no, no straight man has ever said that.

prestigious. I think they should start saying it. That's eloquent. You got that prestigious person. If you heard a man say you have a prestigious. Well, that's a made-up word. It's presidious, is it a word?

What? I think it's... Are you trying to say pristine or prestigious? Are you trying to say pristine or prestigious? Yes, but prestigious, prestigious. So if some man said you have a prestigious pussy, how would I react? Prestiduous. It needs to be a word.

Okay. Let's make it up. Come on. They add shit to the dictionary all the time. That is true. Prestiguous. Okay. Presiduous.

Austin show. You got that exealadocious pussy. Prestigious. You're just now saying it worse. So how are you guys enjoying China? Well, let me tell you something. Oh. I came to China and I've never felt this before, but I'm overwhelmed with jealousy because I look

around and I'm like, these cities are incredible. Yes. And they have access to incredible. transportation, just incredible infrastructure across the board. And I sit here and we live in the wealthiest country in the world in the United States of America. And we don't even have healthcare. Speak on it. Why is it not possible? Why have I been told my entire life, oh, it's too expensive. These things are too expensive. When I literally, I land in China, these massive, beautiful infrastructure buildings, train stations, airports, everything is beautiful. But then I land at

fucking L-A motherfucking cock-sucking X and I get dumped out on the street like I'm in a fucking third world country all right in the fucking horseshoe right? I mean it's absolutely an embarrassment imagine people coming from China thinking about

like the glitz and the glam of Los Angeles California and you walk off and you land at fucking L-A-X what a disaster a disgrace truly L-A-X they call it yeah it's a disgrace it really is a disgrace It's a disgrace.

And the fact that we are hosting the Olympics, the Olympics should cancel it. We do not deserve the Olympics in Los Angeles. We don't. Yeah. We don't. Because it's a disaster. And anyway, my point is, that's my point. I love this.

This is like, that's my point. You're going through the motions of like everything that I've been advocating for for the past like 10 years. Yes. But my point is this, like, I'm not, I want this for my country. I want my country to have beautiful infrastructure. I want high speed rail I want health care I think we deserve it

as high speed rail definitely yeah oh it fucks can you imagine if there was a train from L.A. to Vegas or L.A. to New York even like you can do well let's not go crazy you can do L.A. to Chicago

you can do L.A. to New York you can do it all that's the beauty of high speed rail. How about L.A. to Portland? Well I'd probably still fly it's a little quicker but but he just he is a plain slut. Oh. Oh, shit. All right. Well, a little thing about me is that I love Cash App.

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cash apps, partners, prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank member FDIC discounts provided by cash app, a block ink brand. Visit cash app.com slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. Can we talk about, wait, can we talk about on the China, on China air when wasn't Austin Was he giving tips to the flight attendant? I wasn't, no, no. He was comparing the travel. No, no, he was, in Austin's words, he was doing journalism. You were doing journalism. Can you tell us what you're doing?

Because I look over and you were having a long... Austin, it's not like it's the DPRK. You know what I mean? Like, no American has ever domestically traveled by East Air China. I had, we had an experience where we flew China Eastern Airlines. And I was so impressed by this, on this two and a half hour. flight. We flew in business class. The seats were lush, comfortable. They served

as a beautiful meal. The service was incredible. The meal is a little suspect because it did poison Caroline. We don't need to speak on it. We can speak on it. We really don't. Caroline got super poisoned. Like out of every orifice.

Like, like nose even. Ears. Yeah. Obviously. You guys call me dramatic. You are so drama. both of you you were laying in the back of the van and every time we hit a bump you'd go

yeah well I was not I was not well I was not well but I survived no you know what it is though is because we're so Chinese that the food didn't even impact us like that

I've been in the diaspora for a long time yeah that's what happened I think I'm becoming I'm becoming a couple custom to the homeland. Yeah. The food of your people. The food of my people.

Yeah, I'm so Chinese. I'm just calling it food now. I've already diagnosed you with dehydration, Caroline. Austin has told me 10 times today, just, you need to drink water. Yes. You need to drink water. Yes, you do. Because I asked him, I said, you have a whole pharmacy with you. I do.

Help me. Help me. I did. I brought, you just kept saying water. Water. I brought a lot of pills. I mean, not. Oh. Oh, he did.

No, no. That's the other thing. Not illegal pills. I could not believe it. He busts out the bag when we're at the gas. gate flying to Beijing and it's guys it's like it's the largest zip log bag I've ever seen and it's filled to the brim with pills I could not believe it well you never know when you might need to act as a pharmacy and last yesterday it came I had to jump into action when I gave

Caroline a pill that probably contributed to her food poisoning but regardless of the fact you never know when you travel to a foreign land with look China has A foreign land China has incredible health care obviously But I don't speak Chinese And I thought you

Oh you fooled me It's just a little I don't know the process Speak a little Chinese form Don't say thank you Anything else Let him say come on He's proud of it

He's proud let him say it No I want to hear something else You can say it You've learned some slang right Yeah ni'i-how Oh hello Yes ni'i-how What's that?

Let me help you out, ready? No, no, no, no, don't help them out. Don't help them out. On the spot. Yo, yo. Awesome. Boa is si. Nyopee.

Oh, boha isu. Boa is excuse me. Yopi. Okay, so I did learn about the and then leo, leo, leo, leo, leo, leo. I learned about the Chinese gay, gay, gay, communities terms for there's a lot

there's a lot yeah but that's what was it again oh I don't remember oh I do have a video of you saying it oh really that's

now that's foreign relations yeah so yeah look I carry a lot of pills because not those pills for the record but what is that those pills what pills would you be carrying drugs illegal drugs

I do not carry illegal drugs I just carry antibiotics and and Advil and Tylenol which this guy's had a lot of that Oh which guy That guy over

He's saying I'm autistic Autism Oh I see Okay This is a very autistic country For the record Okay

They love infrastructure And high speed rail here Yes And so But everybody loves high speed rail That's Yeah I was freaking

Out Austin didn't Austin didn't Until he tried it And now he loves it It was such a proud moment for me This trip has been wonderful.

This trip has been wonderful because, like, everyone keeps asking like, oh, what does surprise you the most about China? I'm like, nothing because this is exactly what I expected China to be. And it's exactly what I thought it was going to be. And I was so stoked to do it. I was so stoked to come here. And I'm so glad that you're seeing the proof in action that, like, yeah, you can have a competent government who's like, no, we're just going to build shit, actually. We care about the people. Well, the thing about China that's so crazy is, like, you walk around.

around and it's like everything was like it's like Disneyland yeah yeah it's like everything is Disneyland like the detail that goes into like the the planning and when you build something like the the themeing is incredible which leads me to believe we need to put Disney in charge of the US government no but no that's okay how did he that's one of those things where you were so close to the correct answer and then he just and then went to the complete think about it infrastructure built by Imagineers right but that would be that would be a that would be a a society run by ruthless capitalism. No, no, no.

But how about the government takes over Disney? Okay. Austin, you're getting closer. The reason why you compare China to Disneyland is because Disneyland is in some respects a walkable city with an internal, efficient public transit structure. That's the reason why you compare it to Disneyland. I'll be honest, they also have health care. I had a headache and they gave me some Advil.

Great theming, too. Did anybody else read this were apparently Americans, on average, walk the most when they're at Disneyland? Yes. Wow. Yes. That's sad. And so, like in their entire life? It's something like that.

It's something like the most amount of walking. An American ever does a Disney. Did you also know in true American fashion that a family will go into how much debt? Backbreaking debt. It was like five grand. Yeah. An insane amount of. debt to take their family on a trip to Disneyland.

Well, they could just go to China. Yes, you could be the themeing, a lot of these malls were walking around. I'm like, this is a Disney ride. I'm on a Disney ride. One thing I've realized about China is they love to have the most happening in one building. Yes. Like the club we went to. Yes, that was incredible.

Tell them about it, Caroline. It was crazy. It was seven floors called INS. Called INS. And each one was a completely different theme. Yeah. Yes. 10 to 15,000 people come to that club every night. You have the pregame. You have the, you have dinner. There's live music downstairs. There's like a little bit of a barcade style situation going on with like a fake gambling floor. There is a hip hop club. There are, there's a gay club. Yes. Which we went to and we partied our faces off in. We did. Yeah. There's a two different EDM calls of one techno, one like regular.

house music edm there's like a like a la style lounge club that that was also pretty pop and like it was just it was an incredible experience we we apparently we know the owner yeah we know the yeah and there was a funny story about that that you guys should talk about because we went there uh we got the v VIP experience it's not even regular VIP it was VVI we got in from the back door they immediately uh brought us up to the seventh floor yeah top floor it's a private lounge area just for the most like VVIP clients. And us.

Yeah. And us. We were the VVIPs for the night. So they immediately are like, what do you want? Yeah. Whatever you want. Alcohol, food, we'll get you everything. Yeah.

From the entire club. So I, thinking it was like we knew the owner, I started ordering everything. He ordered. Literally everything. No, it's not my joke. No one knew that Austin was ordering everything. We thought things were just appearing.

The waiter came over. He said, what would you like? I said, do you guys have food? He said, give me everything. I did. I said we'd like to sample the menu. Dog, we ate, I ate fucking duck tongue. Why would you ever order duck tongue?

I asked the gentleman, we'd like to sample everything. It was not just in that BIP area. When we went to the gay club, he even ordered a charcuttery board. It was a plastic thing with a couple. I thought everything was. You ordered the charcutorie board? Yes. I wanted a little snack.

God forbid I order a snack. God forbid he orders a snack If you could picture The most like lights out Base thumping club you've ever seen in your life And then all of a sudden just a cheese plate You ordered from the darkness You ordered a shirkuttery boarded

That fucking gay club I did and it was fucking delicious Well What's wrong with you? They had it on the menu I don't know The owner did comp A lot of our consignment

I left early, but apparently there was a panic situation. The food wasn't included, and Caroline used her club senses, and she heard at one point someone come up to a member of our party and go, who would like to settle the check? And we were worried that nothing was included at that point. Yes. We were worried that we would have to pay for the entire experience. So we did what any conscientious group of friends would did. We dipped out on the plug. We all ran. and stuck his agent with the bill.

To be clear, it was not running out to leave the club. No, it was running out. No, no, no. It was running out, but not to leave the club, like, you know, I've heard you said, oh, David's got it and walked away. That is true. Let the record show. I wasn't the only one that ordered things. No, you were. No, you were. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I didn't order a single thing. Well, you guys ate the food, didn't you? Not really. We thought they were bringing it out gratis. That's what I thought, too. You said bring me everything like a pharaoh. Austin, I said, Austin, you ordered.

Austin, you ordered duck tongue. I said, I, why would anybody be like, oh, I can't wait to eat duck tongue at the nightclub? I didn't know you can eat the fucking duck tongue. To the point that Marsh was suffering, this man who can handle his spice. Look, I said I'd like to sample the local cuisine. And he said, and I'm not even kidding.

Do you have quesadillas? And they had cassidias? They did. No. You were the one who ordered the cassidias. And it was delicious. Uday. Yeah.

No, no, no, 100%. We've realized that Austin, if he had a crumb of power, would be Saddam Hussein. Okay? Not even Saddam Hussein. No. Because like Saddam's so gay. Yeah. He is

He would literally be a dictator Straight up I don't think we're realizing enough That after all that was ordered And we go to the gay club And we have a table He orders another charcutory No

Okay here's the deal With everything that we had upstairs I need to come clean about the shakurdy board Because I was just going along with it I don't know where the fuck that thing came from Oh really? I generally have no idea where that came from It just showed up and I started eating it

You said to me, though, you're like, I'm going to be honest. That clears your name a lot. No, he turned to me and said, I want to get a charcutory. And on the Bible. Wait, so you said to Caroline, I want to get a charcutory. And then it just manifested, did I? Yes, you did. No, Caroline, I think I said, oh my God, this is such delicious charcutory.

It was already there. No, it was not. It was a little plastic there. How drunk was I that I was just. You were very drunk. I probably overheard you. Oh, my God. I probably, I, I, I, I, what sort of.

Okay, come on. If I'm like, if I lean over and I go, you know what I really want is a chakouterie board? They're worried you're going to go to Saddam Hussein and start executing people. Yeah. Light up a cigar and point out the non-believers. Let the record show I would never be Saddam Hussein. Yeah, thank God.

Oh, thank you for clearing that up. Yeah, thank God. Because if you were born into that, if you were born with a crumb of power, you would abuse it so hard. If I was a dictator, we had this conversation already. If I was a dictator, I would be the best dictator ever.

Yeah. Oh my God. My entire staff would be staying in the same hotel as me. Yeah, as long as they... I'm not like other dictators. Yeah, as long as they... I'm a very fun dictator. Only execute the very worst.

He is not like the other dictators. No, I wouldn't be. It would be great. Everybody would live. Everybody would have health care. You know what I found on Zoc Doc today? What? An acupuncturist, therapist, combined.

I went to therapy today. Really? Yes. I actually have used Zock Doc a few times because I also had to go to a doctor to get an EKG because I was convinced I was dying. Really? Well, I had incomplete red bundles.

We talked about it. Yeah, I had incomplete red bundles. It probably just means that the EKG thing was a little loose on one side. It should be fine. But Zoc Doc helped me find my doctor. And you should. should stop putting off your doctor appointments because

maybe you have an incomplete red bundle and you don't know yet. I have not a doctor appointment in 15 years. Well, you stop putting off those doctor appointments. Go to Zocdoc.com slash fear and find it and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's at ZOC, doc.com slash fear.

Zocdoc.com slash fear. Where to go. Uh-huh. But if they would have to be at your mercy. No, I would, I wouldn't, I'd say I'd be open to, um, I'd be open to people disagreeing with me. It'd be really nice to have a charcutory board. He doesn't order it.

Yeah. No. No, it's not even just charcutterboard. Like, he's the type of guy who'd be like, I would like the chinchilla pastrani. It's like, yeah, I want rare meats. Is this an endangered animal? Well, it's more endangered now.

Like, that's the type of shit you're pulling off. Like, it's fucking incredible. Look, I don't think, you don't have that level of motion and you're still doing it. There was something in the. air. We all turned up. I have another confession. Maricio Miranda and I made out. That's true. It's on

camera. At the best of some of the women in Shanghai, they demanded. Oh, they were I saw you guys making out and it made me so uncomfortable. Yeah, he's like, these goddamn homoos. Speak on that, King.

No, I'm kidding. I was fine with it, but I looked at it. Oh, good. We're not getting executed. We're not getting executed. No. No, but I did look and I was like, huh, what is going on? You know what I mean? Yeah, you're like, why not me? It was like a lot happening. It was like, it was like a drive-by gang. Do you remember when you and I were dancing at the club and Will came up separated us? And he said, men only to you. Really? Yes. I don't remember anything. Maybe that's because you had been for the last 72 hours talking about the gay men of Shanghai. Yeah. And instead, you just, you

chose to cuck me instead of talking to one gay man in Shanghai. But the thing about Austin and Caroline Kwan is that I have the chemistry I have with Caroline Kwan. Tell her she has a nice person. Yeah. It is

prestigious. It is unbelievable. Presidential. We can, you unlock something in me. I know. I know. I know. And Will literally separated us. That's because I came in between the way. No, because you wanted him to go taste

local wares. Yes. He didn't want to. I did. Yes, he did. I was nervous. Okay, well, in that moment. Can I be honest, you're so under, you're full, you're so amazing. He was using you like a bicycle with training wheels on. What? He was too nervous to go talk to Shanghai men.

So he glommed on to you because you felt safe. Yes. Yes. prestigious, yeah. Yes. No, for sure. I kept trying to like, I kept trying to prod him like, what are you doing? Come on. I was a little nervous because I don't speak Chinese.

I know it may shock you. you. Dick is universe. I know. I think you could just grunt in their direction, I feel like. You really think, wow, thank you so much. No, that's just how gay men are from my experience. What?

What? That's not. Is that how you think gay men are? You go like this. Is that what you think? You really think is that easy, huh? Yes, I've seen you browse grinder. Look, look, look, first of all, I wasn't.

browsing grinder at all. Yeah, you have been doing that now-stop. Austin, you did say at one point that you had looked at every gay man in China. I'm not even kidding. No, in all of Asia. He was in Vietnam. He was going across the continent.

He was going across the continent. He asked me how close Vietnam was. No. I wasn't going to leave. You can't, you can't import Twins. Dude. They won't make it through the border. No, I wasn't going to do that.

While we're on the fucking plane, he already had localized Chengdu. He was like looking through the Twink. there. I was just curious. I was just curious. But what's really funny is that there are also local gay apps. And I'm not even kidding. They were banned while he was here. Austin signed on to them. And apparently

the government asked Apple to remove those apps from the fucking app store hours after Austin logged on to them. We have a, we have fear that an American dictator has made it for our

gay men. I don't know. The timing of It is so insane to me. Whenever I travel abroad, I think it's important to familiarize yourself with the locals. No, no. I think it's important. If you weren't traveling to Vietnam,

are you looking at fucking you? How do you know I was on Grinder to fuck the locals? What if I wanted to meet and break bread with the locals? Is that a fire with the Rynder? Come on. Come on.

You guys are assuming that I'm just some sort of view. You don't think of yourself. I can only break bread with the locals. men who have fantastic abs. For the record on Grindr, you can select what you're looking for. And sometimes you can select just looking for friends. A third. Friendship.

A third in your friendship. So that's is that what you're doing? Of course. Okay. I was looking for friendship. I believe them. I was looking for friendship all over the country. Often show is my friend. Yes. And I believe it's just strange way to look at friendship. Every time I glanced over, it's just

dudes, no face. Just You're just above the waist and below the neck. You're just describing Grindr. He didn't want to judge a book by his cover. He wanted friendship. And by the way, I want everybody to know, as of today, November 16th, 2025, I have not met anybody. Apparently because of me? No, not because the government banned you.

No, no. The government single-handedly decided this is one, this is a bridge too far. We got to be serious about this. firewall thing. Now, I would say, I would like to say, as I sit here, I think they need to release

the apps. I think it's time. Oh, you should have brought that up at Beijing. Yeah. Can you imagine Sally if Austin had brought this up to her?

Sally, for those of you watching that didn't see the streams was our Beijinger first day first two day I I love Sally God love Sally but she was so strict she was not on our way

she was so serious yes and I think all of the all of the the people that have been like our tour guys they've all been pretty serious so far Albert Fox Albert is funny

Jake was kind of funny The singing. Okay. Yes. By the way. He loved it. By the way, as much as I, you don't get criticized for your singing that much. Do you?

What? Where's this going? You don't get criticized for you. I do. I get told. I have been told by two tour guides. I tell him. No.

Albert pulled me to the side. And so did Sally. You don't get criticized for you're singing. And they told me. The scat. On the other hand. Now, wait. No, Albert loved your singing.

Yes, he did. Oh, you're saying. they pulled you aside and we're like, okay, you're saying there's haters out there, but the tour guides have been, you want to share with the class? It's relevant to singing, it's going to be the next thing we talk about.

Yeah. Okay, so anyway, I have been, I have been experimenting with SCAT recently. You have. You've gotten really into scatting in China. Yes, I have, I have. For the listeners, listeners and watchers.

doesn't mean poop stuff. I don't understand where the misconsumption. He's like, be, bop, bap, ba, da, bap. Yeah. That kind. He's taking your shit, by the way. Yeah, he is. He is.

I know he's trying to. Yeah, because I'm versatile, and I can apparently do more than one type of scat music. Well. Go ahead. Give us a new jingle right now on the spot. What's the theme of the jingle? I want one that represents a lost love. Maybe something that's a little bit low down and soulful.

How is that? How is that? But da-da-da-dab-de-be-bo-d-d-bo-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-do. Okay. Yeah. Oh, the soul of Scatts spoke through you. Well, my Pussy has never felt more prestigious. I really got it.

There's a point where Austin just kept trying to scat but different versions and we found out that he only has one speed. Well, that was a different one. No, but Austin, no one's ever criticized you're singing. You're singing he's fantastic. I swear there's one guy out there. One guy who I think you attribute all, you'll say things. And I think it's one guy.

The guy from Nebraska. This whole trip I have been on. There is a chatter out there in the universe that I call the Nebraska chatter. It's a chatter that, you know, it's not their fault, but they haven't traveled a lot. And I'm not blaming them and I'm not shaming them for it. But as a result of that, they try to be extra critical of how we are what we are doing in a country that they themselves do not understand and they are backseat chatting. And sometimes they find themselves being so woke that they actually are problematic. The wokeers. I watched,

I watched some chatters that we're trying to basically, essentially, um, uh, uh, the, uh, Let's move on. Let's move on. Please, let's be done with this cat. Yeah. But speaking of singing, we were almost deported today. What? Apparently, because of my red sun in the sky singing.

Do you want to read those comments? The Bili Bibi chatter. So someone who actually received criticism for his song was Hussat Piker. The Chinese chatters on, for those we don't know, I started also live streaming on Bili Bili and I'm not a big deal but like I've been on the number one slot every day that we're being on streaming. In our defense,

you haven't really given us a chance to stream on that. It's true. If you guys started, it would be over for me. That's why I can't, I can't have you doing that. But the Chinese chatters were saying he's really going to be arrested now.

Don't sing, please. Don't sing, please. Wow, he said it twice. Yeah, no,

those are different. No, no, those are two different chats. Oh, which makes it worse. Yeah, that's not great.

Yeah, they did not enjoy. I also sang a Chinese song. What was that? By the Wu-Tang Clan. I sang Shim- Shim-Shim-Yaw. Virtually Chinese. Ooh, baby, I like it raw by the old dirty bastard.

Also known as the old dirty Chinese food restaurant. Oh, was one of his aliens. Really? Okay. Nice. Okay. So they didn't like yours. They loved Will's singing. Did they? Well, this is the thing about... They did. There was one comment that said,

uh, Will can't look at Ms. Guan because, like, he's scared or something. Because unlike Austin, who's been embraced with love in our group for his song, I am constantly told in a non-funny way that my voice is not very good. Who told you that? Caroline, did you? I did not do that. You will say things to me like, wow, I wish you sang songs that were good. No, I maintain that. Oh, yeah, no, that would be nice if you did do that.

Wait, wait, no, no, no, she sings wonderful songs. No, no. Like, your song selection is... Ding, ding, ding goes a trolley. Ring, ring, ring, goes the bell. He, wait, no, not him. Someone else was singing it. We had the whole group sing.

Christian. Christian. Christian. It was one other person. I don't know. Anyway. I have the only gun in Chongqing. What do you mean?

I'm going to kill myself. You told me to sing Chapel Row. I'm going, yeah, that was good. That was good. That was good. You keep doing show tunes. What are the bad? What are the bad?

Who! Oh. I'm calling the. Let's do it, Austin. Call the police. I'm calling it. Make them kill us. You deserve it.

You deserve it. You can't. No, I noticed he blocked that because today we did do Wingshound. Which I was very bad. God, what a transition that was. Thank you. I thought you. I got to be so real.

I didn't know we were doing a full class. I thought we were coming in. I thought he was going to kind of do a demonstration and then let us do a few things. That was a full hour and a half. We were all, first of all, we were all wearing what we were wearing the day of. Yes. So we were all wearing, like, nice clothes, and we just

came in there, swamp ass. It's so fucking hot. You were dripping and sweat. I was sweating so much. Because first of all, even the fucking malls, they crank up the heat. Oh, that's one thing I have to say, America has nailed air conditioning. Yeah. We have conquered

air conditioning. Total dominance. But Wing Chung was fantastic. The master was incredible. The only thing I I'd say is I don't know if I would learn because he did kind of beat the ever-loving shit. Wait, can we talk about that intern? Oh, yeah. Can we talk about the intern? That was crazy.

Yeah. He just kept cracking him. We have to play. There was. Yes. Yes. Oh, he just would go like. He hit me one time.

Irene's idea was for him to hit me one time. My boy had force. Yeah. No, he was not holding back. He hit me too. Look at this. Yeah. Watch this.

We're going to give that. We're going to give that to the editor. Watch. Watch. He goes flying out of the frame. Yeah. No, like two feet in the air type flying shit. It was crazy.

No, no. He had zero chill. And then at one point. Yeah. At one point, the guy, like, made a small mistake. And he went. And he just sent him. away. Yeah. Yeah. No, he was serious. He scolded him. But that's a, that's a master. Yeah. That is a master. No, and you know what? That guy

commanded respect. Yes. I, I miss him. Yeah. Honestly, he was, he was. If you ever find yourself in this city, it was a fantastic experience. And remember that German guy came up? He stopped the bus and he asked what your channel was because I think he wanted to watch it. He said he comes from Germany four times a year. Just to train with his guy. Yes, Thomas was his name. Because he said he's the best. Yeah. Just don't be the guy. he does, displays on. No. Dangerous. Danger, danger, danger.

I tell you what, I don't know if it was clear, but I was winging that whole thing. Oh, we know. You were winged chung in it. Yeah, but no. Very good. Okay, wait, let's rank the four of us here

in terms, okay. Will's number one. He killed it. It was so funny. Like, within five minutes, the guy was like, wow. Yeah. He even told me afterward.

He said, you were the best. Really? Yeah. Okay. Who was next? can I be honest Caroline Kwan

I think so too You even had the best like solo display I think Oh arrow punch I don't think I ever got that I think you like even better than me had the best demo And you absolutely obliterated

Your SI joint apparently Yes I did What's an SI joint Oh I didn't even know we had those Next is that some I'm going to discover It's mostly a woman problem Oh well you know what I am so sorry

They wouldn't understand what it's They wouldn't understand what it's like to be a woman I want to clarify You wouldn't understand what it's like He is such an empath though But I'm such an empath He knows Right now I'm holding her hand

She's sending her woman through me I don't know what this Yeah I didn't just Yes Feel it awesome Yes I feel all of it I feel all of it

I'm actually probably about to poop my pants Wow Maybe she said too much She said too much here away Oh my God you guys All right ready Let's test Let's test

You guys think you have a better connection Than we do Yes Have you ever done the word Association game Where you go one two three And you both say a word Yes

And then you try and meld the two words together On the second one No you're mouthing it You can't do that That's crazy On the second one, you try and say the same word. Okay, okay.

Don't say what he just said. All right. One, two, three. Vigina. Oh. Rub and vagina. Shh, you can't speak. You try and marry them together.

One, two, three. Anal. Anil. Okay. Anal and coughing. One. I was saying anal two, two, three. Dick.

Dick. We said it's the same time. They're going to cheat every time. Okay. One, two, three. Banana. Breast and banana. One, two, three.

Melons. It's a fruit, Caroline. You have to say it at the same time. Okay. One, two, three. Penis. I thought we were doing fruit. One, two, three.

Grapefruit. They didn't. All right, all right. All right, Hassan. All right. Go ahead. Okay, I mean, okay. One, just count it off.

So, we're, just going to come up with... We just say a word and then we try and carry the two and do a new word. Okay. And we try and say the same thing. Okay. Show them our connection.

All right. Horse. Wait, you said horse? Yeah. Oh, fuck. This is tough. Horse and apples is tough. I don't know how the fuck we're going to do.

Yep. Feed. Damn it. Wait, what is it? Farm. Farm? And I say feed. Yep.

Right. So wait. Oh, we're trying to arrive at like the same. They're really killing it, Caroline. Okay. You said, I say feed, you said farm. Yep. Okay.

Trow. Cows. Okay. Okay. Okay. Wait, wait, hold on, hold on. You said, I need to, I need to, hold my hand. Hold my hand.

He wants to, I need to get your energy. Okay, wait, hold on, hold on. You said trough. I said cow. Yep. Hold on. Okay. Yep.

Hey. No! No! No! No! No! No! Much is there!

Yeah! Man! Man! Man! Man! Wait, wait, wait, we didn't understand the game. I got, I got it. All right.

You really want to do this? One, two... No, I'll count it off. Three. Eyes. You have to say a word! I thought you were counting us off. Okay, ready.

One, two, three. Eyes. No. What the fuck? No. No. Okay. Ready, ready, ready?

One, two, three. Nose. Okay. Lips and nose. One, two, three. Eyebrows. One, two, three. Lips.

One, two, three. Eye lashes. One, two, three. No. Me, I already said those. Okay. Fuck it. All right.

Let's get back on task. That was crazy. That was a stupid game. Top. Did you just finish my water? No, I haven't had a sip of your water. It was Austin Let me get one too

You are Will That's so funny I am Will That's the nicest thing You've ever said to me No because he steals my water all the time Oh Thank you

By the way This is one of the best waters I've ever had in my life I don't know what it is It's like Yeah Tiger water Chang Bai snow

And it's got tiger on it And it's so It's delicious It's delicious water Okay so Will So you are the best at the place. Carolina's second best.

Who's third best? Austin. Oh. Oh. I thought Hassan did really except for his solo display, which was not. Oh, I thought we were time about the solo displays. Oh, solo display. It's Austin.

It's Austin. Wait, wait, wait, wait. How does Hassan rank ahead of me? Did you tell me how that works? For the moves? Yes. He was forceful and quick. No, we're talking about solo display. I was. Your solo display was better, though.

100%. Okay, but overall... I was first. Well, you were last. Yeah, it was terrible. I shouldn't have done it first. But hear me out. I thought I was better all around.

Do it right now. Okay. Do it right now. Wait, March. Make sure this is on camera. Yeah. Austin is going to do the... What do we call it?

This is a Wing Chung demonstration. Ooh, what did you get is, David? And it's Kung. It's, yeah, wing chaw. Okay. Yeah. Show us. First position.

Nope. Nope. Arms up. First position. Yep. Second position. Yep. Third position.

Okay. Yep. First position. Second position. Third position. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Threat positioning is not outwards.

Let them go through it. Third position. Let me do it. Yep, fourth position. Yes, fifth position. Yes, six position. Three, no, no. Fast fist, fast, fast, fist, three punch.

Three punch. Yep, yes. Next position. No. Nope, no, no, no, elbow across. There it is. Last one. Last one.

Kick. Well, you can think, okay. No. See, you can do it. I, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll watch it, watch him. Oh, Hassan. Well, oh. All right, Asan, come on.

Okay. I don't even need to count them off. This is my star pupil. Oh. No, he gets a look at me. Oh. Oh. I don't have the, okay.

The ground is. Yes. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yeah. Oh, my God. Close up. Is he having sex? Yep. Yeah. Okay. Oh, watch out. Watch out. March. March. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Oh, hey, he's the extra. Shish. Yeah.

Oh. Oh, shit. I did that. Shush, sure. I did. I did that. You didn't do none of that shit. I did that.

You didn't do that. Look, you can do it when there's no pressure, but when I was in front of the master, I fucking killed that shit. The master punch gave you one punch, right? Yeah, he hit the shit out of it. Yeah. He had really, he had pretty strong, sexy energy, I would say. Oh, that's...

Whoa, okay. I elaborate on that. Come on. I get it. It was strong and sexy. It was commanding. To me, he felt like a mentor immediately. Yes.

You know what I mean? To you or to everybody. Wait. Excuse us. David. David. Pardon us. We happen to be filming a podcast.

Excuse us. Wait. What do we have, by the way? Ding, ding, ding goes the trolley. Oh, okay. Let's wait to wait for the Patreon. That's what I was asking. We'll do it in the Patreon.

We have some food in the Patreon that we're going to test. What was I going to bring up? Wing Chung. Oh, I wanted to, before you do that, I want to clarify something. Thank you, David. I love you. Thank you, David. Caroline is a beautiful voice.

Yeah, yes. Okay. I just don't like her song selection. That's it. How can you say something so controversial yet so. What is wrong with the song? It's all jazz hands shit. It's all show tunes.

I can't stand it. But when she sings us, when she is singing a song that I know. When she did dreams by Fleetwood Mac today? Yeah. Come on. That was great. Pink Pony Club was a banger. Okay. It was Angelic. It was Angelic. You guys stop. Stop doing

like, I don't know. Don't do Austin and sing Engelback Humperdink. Yes. Oh my God. Ingobert Humperding. You do the, you do the, is it that hard to pronounce? You do the woman's version of like Frankie Valley in the four seasons. I don't even know where it is. Humperdink.

How difficult. Hello, Dolly is how you fucking operate. This is, we need to bring some of that music back. First of all, that was terrible. Thank you. Exactly. Well, hello, Dolly. Come on.

Come on. It's. No. Look, here's the deal. Caroline and I need to keep show tunes alive because if, if they don't, if we, we don't, then they will die. I want them dead. You two are...

Yes. I just think you've got to play the hits sometimes. Why? Why do it's double? It's double. It's not just Will. Racial Miranda is eating in front us like an absolute savage right now. He's just looking right at Okay. Are there any musicals you do like? I thought we've talked about this.

No. Scarlet Pimpernail. Oh, I don't think that's a musical. You like Spring Awakening. Yeah, I do. You know, I'm be honest with you. I get bored when I watch musicals. I would much rather sit down and enjoy a nice movie. Yeah, I just... But that turns them on.

I just tell Christian that I love musicals. Oh. I'm doing the... I'm doing the Cynthia. Cinthia Revo. No, no, I like a good musical. You don't like Wicked? I've not watched it ever.

You don't like sound of music. I don't care for it. Look, so let's talk about any other experiences in China that anybody wants it to be. Oh, yeah, no one's got arrested. Oh, I thought we almost got arrested. Is that what you're saying? Oh, yes.

Husson. Tell us about that. First day, we are, yeah, first day, we are in Beijing. Yep. And I just think it's really funny because Will was already like, iffy about this entire process. And he's like, oh, man, I don't know if I want to do this, whatever. And then first day he has to wake up at 4 a.m. And we were running.

Sally had us running. To go to Tianman Square. As Sally said, it's the dream of all two billion. 1.4 billion Chinese. She did say that. She did say that. And when she said that I was like,

damn, I love China, but God damn, girl. Like, I don't think that's true. But we, she was very intense the night prior about, like Tiananmen Square and you know what it means for her she really loves China and I love her yep so and I love China so Beijing her yeah she is a Beijinger through and through uh and and we'll have the wake of at 4 a.m and it's literally day one freezing it is the day after travel it's 30 30 it's like below 32 degrees is fucking freezing it's dark as shit out and we get on the fucking bus and then we make our way to Tiananmen Square

and were surrounded by actually she wasn't wrong it was the dream of everyone there there was there was a dream of mostly people over 60 yes yes they were going crazy mode okay think kitty Cinderella

at a Taylor Swift concert they were like I cannot wait to see this fucking flag go up like which let's be real let's be real it was it was beautiful it was beautiful and natural

it was very short for How advanced China is, I was surprised. Did there were no drones? No, I was surprised at the sound system that they chose. It was like a JBL speaker hung off the handlebars of a bike. Yeah, but they weren't like, it's just, it's important for the symbolism, right? Yes. But it was really funny.

And it did feel like we could have gotten there an hour and 30 minutes later. She kind of made it seem like there was going to be 800,000 people there. One point four. But she made a seem, but we could have... But in any case, we get in and, you know, we didn't realize that maybe

we were being naughty boys. When March clicked on a chat meme of me... So really, it's chat's fault. As mouse a dong. And we were all excited. I was like jumping up and down already. And

you know, I'm the tallest motherfucker there. so everyone was already looking at me like, what is this white ape doing? Yeah, and I had, I had just been groped also. You did have your butt cheeks. It was a strange experience. Yeah. I don't think the anti meant anything by it,

but to move me out of the way, my butt cheeks were cupped and dragged. It was so sensually to move me out of the way so sensually. But yeah, and then a young police officer came up and had zero chill. He was just like, what the fuck? is going on here. You guys are on your phone. You're dancing.

And what is on your phone? And he just like gave us, he just like pressed us for approximately two minutes and 38 seconds. Yeah, it was quick. Which, and then we were like, okay, whatever, we're fine. And then we just kept streaming, as you guys probably saw. And yet it turned into an international incident. We were detained for days. Yeah, it's like Hassan Piker arrested. Like, oh, typical Western commie, spoiled cuck goes to real communist country, he gets a taste of his own medicine. It's like, yeah, dude, we had a very minor, chill the fuck out. Yeah, we had a very minor moment with like one cop.

A moment that was more intense is when I was lifted onto Will's shoulders. Because there were other people doing it. I said, well, Will, let me get on your shoulders too. And there I go on Will's shoulder. We're seeing all the glory that is the flag rising. It was mostly children that were on children. The mues, the ants. They loved it.

They loved it. They were fucking loved it. They were taking photos of us. Yeah. They handed us a Chinese flag. No, that was me. I gave you the jazz. I gave Austin the one so we could wave it.

There's a really funny, there's a really funny photo of us. I'm looking up. And Austin is waving it. It does look like a propaganda poster. It's awesome. I'm not getting back into America, am I?

Yeah, but yeah, it was every, I feel like everything that we've been doing, like, I could just, I could just be like, yeah, I really enjoyed Chinese KFC and it would, there's like, it was 11 NatSec Twitter guys that are from like, you know, the endowment for destroying communism foundation or whatever, writing long ass fucking post being like, oh, this guy, oh, you like KFC, you fucking piece of shit in China. Why don't you stay there? People are very mad. as Tiananmen Square is obviously sacred. There's a lot of history, et cetera. This security guard thought we were fucking around. And he just came over to be like, what are you assholes doing? Yeah, I mean, because most white people, he probably clocked us and was like,

oh, great, these. Oh, no, he thought we were making a mockery. Yes, he thought we were there to film and like make jokes and like, you know, shit on China or whatever. Let us keep filming because once we showed like, no, we're not, we're not Jake Paul. like we're not here just can I say that we weren't going to do

suicide for a shit yeah and then it was fine way to double down on that one yeah no I I respected I respected the call there um whatever Logan Jake they're the same yeah whatever but

but yeah you're saying all white people look alike it's been a really amazing experience so far and we got another fucking week to go which is we have an incredible week to go we'll be talking about

that and many things and we're going to be taste before we go I have to tell you I have been recording oh yeah like I've never been recording before and we need to shoot an advertise in the middle I'm serious about this but we I'm up there's a tremendous amount

of Patreon content once I figure out how to upload it there's going to be so much let me tell you what you can expect in the Patreon okay uh behind BTS vlog footage of our travels. Raw.

Also, exclusive hotel room reviews. You want to see what the conditions we're staying in? Oh, and he's definitely got his complaints. Oh, no, no, no. Like, we're not staying in five-star hotels and some of the best. The accommodations are beautiful, but I think everybody has a right to know.

Yes. My opinion. It's the full unfiltered review. The full unfiltered review. Fear and, thank you. Greetings from China one more time. If you want more content, we'll be behind the paywall eating some food talking about a little

extra stuff. But before we go, Austin, to play us out, to layer it on the outro, would you give us the billy-billy theme that is sweeping China? Someone came up to you. Someone came up to you and was like, they said, for me. They said, Be da-da-dee-da-da-da-da-ba-da-da-ba-da-ba-da-da-ba-da-da-ba-da-a-da-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-oh.

We'll see you behind the paywall. Well, what's going on? Why didn't you text me? Do you think I'm out of line? I don't think you're out of line. At all. My God, there's such a nice girl.

That's on a piece of chicken. You show me that text message right now, Marisa Miranda. I can stay in this room. Show me that text right now. I'm not going to show you the text care. Do you think I'm not going to show you the text? Do you think I'm not going to lie, Mark?

I don't think you're out of line.