Fear& - We locked Will in a room and forced him to listen to politics.. (gone wrong) | Fear&Chapo Trap House
Episode Date: August 22, 2022We put Will in a room with 4 politics frogs and locked the doors for two hours as a prank. 🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS - https://linktr.ee/fearand🎉BONUS CONTENT🍾 🌟PATREON - https://www.patreon.com/F...earAnd🌟TIKTOK - https://www.tiktok.com/@fearandtiktok🐥follow our guest!🐤Will: https://twitter.com/willmenakerFelix: https://twitter.com/ByYourLogicMatt: https://twitter.com/cushbomb🐤follow the boys!🐥Hasan: https://twitter.com/HasanthehunWill: https://twitter.com/TheWillNeffMarche: https://twitter.com/Marche Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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One slur that we would have to stay on.
That's rolling, by the way. That's on tape. Yeah, this is this is a great idea that we should do what is it uh just one slur for
200 grand to get us to say one slur on stage there's all this is in the premise this is in
the context of the last show ever yeah yeah it's based on a concept we invented in 2017
uh where you know we had begun working three hours a week on content.
And we were like, we can't keep doing that.
We're going to kill ourselves.
It felt like the Steve McQueen movie where he rides the motorcycle out of the Holocaust.
The Great Escape.
But it's a similar situation, right?
What works here, Nazis, camp.
And you know what?
He doesn't actually get out of the Holocaust.
He gets pretty far in the motorcycle,
but he is returned to the Holocaust at the end of the movie.
I thought it was cool how at the end of the movie,
they're like, looks like you didn't make your escape
and you're going to have to keep running your book, Primo Levi.
Barely anybody.
That movie is really poorly named because barely anybody
actually no that's what I love
the greatest game is one of my favorite movies of all time
it's Coburn and James Garvey
Bronson gets out too
everyone else gets washed
wasn't there a video game for it too
which was like kind of good actually
the greatest game
it was actually good
lots of tunnel digging action yeah no i've never well no it was more like oh we'll actually talk
about this as well but it was more just like uh like a prison like there was a holocaust camp like
i mean concentration camp that you were like inside of that you were trying to escape out of
which was but it was cool like it wasn't like damn that now that i think about it like that's
never getting revamped i mean like honestly
it's heroes rule honestly nazis are kind of whimsical if it's just a pow camp yeah no like
honestly like most of my favorite movies take place in world war ii pow camps and if you're
you know an american or british officer and not like you know a jew or a gypsy in the eastern
front yeah basically being in a pow camp in world war ii is like summer camp but
there's like guns and it's just basically you and your friends doing hijinks and pranks and
just having fun style like 17 showed this someone someone is gonna fucking pow mia your ass for this
and be like what are you talking about we never got there we never got the ashes back of my great
great great great great little vietnam a little different you know they got what they deserve
oh yeah no i know but i'm saying for World War II.
Someone is going to...
You know, if they didn't die when their plane crashed,
all those guys just got out.
They either got out or they repatriated the Germans.
There was, of course, Malmedy,
where a bunch of U.S. POWs were summarily executed
by the German army.
That sort of became a scandal after the war. But
for the most part, if you got captured by the
Germans, yeah, they would put you up. And as Stalag
17 shows us, you'd get to dress
up like Betty Grable and dance
around. You'd get to bimbo-fy your friends.
Wait, really? Yeah.
How do we find that?
They were in captivity for like
three hours and they're like, well, we're never
going to see a woman again.
One of us has to become a girl.
Like the seahorse take.
And of course, the wild thing is you think, oh, my God, this is so offensive.
But the writer director of that film, Billy Wilder, and the guy who plays the camp commandant, Eric von Stroheim, are both Jews who fled Nazi Germany and Austria.
That was if you were in Hollywood in the 60s and they needed someone to play anything from a Mongolian to a Nazi to like a Martian, it's like just get me a tan Jewish guy.
If you wanted to be a working actor in Hollywood, the best thing to be was like a Jewish guy who didn't sunburn.
That's like the NBA too.
Early inception of the NBA, right?
It's like Jewish guys were cracked out there.
The original starting five of the Knicks were all Jews. We Jewish guys were cracked out there. They were just starting to find
the Knicks
were all Jews.
Yeah.
We used to be
all the boxing champions, too.
Yeah.
That was during the grind.
People are constantly
talking about like
Jewish conspiracy
or whatever,
but they've kind of fell off.
Like they were
they were popping off.
Well, what happened
is that they were
on their grind back then
because they had to be.
But then they kind of got soft
and now they all have anxiety.
They don't have
they don't have
a Sigma grind set. Sigma grind sigma grind set no when you become
white it's like exactly it kills your it kills your motor mike yeah my i had an ancestor who
was like he was like what turtle is on entourage for the mafia in chicago that's sick that's a sick
role but um he didn't i don't know he wasn't very good at it that's all i'll say
without giving up too much uh family history but um you know before we were white we did a lot of
stuff yeah and after we became white we became noah bombach it's true it happens to everybody
look at what happened with the fucking organized crime in this country you had from the italians
on their grind running that shit being like on par with like us steel as uh myer lansky said
and now all their kids are like uh fail son uh fucking soundcloud rappers and albanians are doing
all the actual uh like criminality because they're here more recently and they have that same grind
set because they're not white yet all right because they're not white yet. Yeah. They're on the verge. Also, their application is being considered.
Also, we have Choppo Trap House in the house.
Hello.
Everybody.
We didn't even do an intro.
We're so bad at podcasting.
It's not even funny.
The Legends.
They're just such pros.
They will riff on a riff of a riff.
This happens every episode.
Don't worry.
It's like a gimmick at this point.
Yeah, we built that into the show.
It's like the secret word.
It's the opposite way.
Matt, I got to say, your legs are looking sexy.
What?
That's like, I don't mean to slut shame you or objectify you, but your legs are.
We're turning him into Betty Grable.
I'm the one being bimbo-fied.
You are being bimbo-fied.
It's California, man.
California.
Yeah. What's California, man. California. Yeah.
What's up?
We are in a prisoner of war camp from an Axis power.
You know, I mean, like, they weren't fully an Axis power, but they were like, you know,
we kind of rock with the Axis.
Are you talking about the Turks?
Yeah.
No.
They were like, we kind of like this.
World War II, they were like, we learned from our mistakes.
We took a big L.
Also, one other thing I learned
from World War II movies about POW camps,
being in a German POW camp,
again, if you're a British or American officer,
pretty dope.
If you're in a Japanese POW camp, sucks.
They make you do projects.
They make you build a bridge.
They put fucking Alec Guinness in a box
when it's like 130 degrees outside.
Not fun.
They'll eat you.
They ate you PUSPOWs.
George H.W. Bush's
shipmates, crewmates
on his bomber that was shot down in the Pacific.
The ones who didn't get rescued
who got captured by Japanese patrols
from a nearby garrison,
got eaten by the Japanese.
That's kind of badass.
The Japanese had no other goals except for winning the war and inflicting carnage.
And the Germans obviously were awful, but they had secondary projects.
They were like, okay, the war, we should win it.
We're going to try our best.
Really, though, we're going to find Santa
and all our favorite Marvel characters
in the South Pole.
In the Arctic Circle.
And also, their ideology...
And other priorities.
Their ideology sort of required them
to treat, like, allied, you know,
American and British prisoners differently
than they treated, you know, everybody to their east.
Because they still had this idea of... Were they folkish? They have a whiteness... Yeah, they had a whiteness deal. And, like, everybody to their east because they still had this idea.
Are they folkish?
You know, they have a whiteness.
Yeah, they had a whiteness deal.
And like these, these are white men at the end of the day.
And like, who are we if we don't treat them differently than we treat these non-
That's wild.
They love the British.
But they didn't give that to the Slavs.
Oh God.
They were so like, Hitler was so heartbroken that the Brits declared war.
He would have loved for the Brits to just be like you're fine he sent his most neuro atypical guy to the uk
and was like go there find find find whoever shake their hand and we're like we're in this together
like white dudes rock yeah just find one of those like oswald mosley types to like just
talk some sense into churchill yeah nope nope you're going to jail. You're going, you're going to Nazi prison. You're going to unibrow jail.
But the,
yeah,
they,
they,
they had an ideological commitment to it.
The Japanese,
I don't think any of the Japanese high command were even like addicted to
morphine or anything fun like that.
Right.
They were just doing their duty.
Yeah.
A profound sense of,
of,
you know,
accomplishing the task given,
which is,
you gotta, you gotta respect that. No, of, you know, accomplishing the task given, which is you got to.
You got to respect that.
No, no, you can't.
You don't need to hand it to him.
Never mind.
Yeah.
The Manchuria stuff.
I mean, pretty good.
Pretty, pretty, pretty crazy.
Pretty terrible.
Yeah.
Anyway, so this is a podcast where we don't actually talk about politics and not normal.
We don't normally talk about World War Two history either.
That's too bad.
It's fun.
Yeah.
No, I mean, we get some boomers to listen to this.
Yeah.
It's exactly right, though.
The World War Two is like true crime for men.
It is.
It's a it's the sort of like ghoulish interest that men occupy their time with and knowing
facts about rather than just like.
Well, I think that's generational.
I think that is true for like boomers and maybe extras I think
now that's conspiracy theories
I think conspiracy parapolitical history
like the stories of
all the assassinations and the coups and the
sex trafficking like that's the same
prurient like titillating sense
of basically fetishizing your own
oppression like imagine being murdered
by the patriarchy if you're a woman or being
dominated by this like satanic deep state if you're a guy but it's the same but it's the same like
uh enjoyment it's the same i feel like it's broader reaching than that like if we were to
look at conspiracy theories across the board of like the consumption of conspiracy theories
there's like there's something for everybody though yeah i get what you're saying as far as
like being a man and being dominated in this like being dominated by the structures yeah in a way that like uh you can't describe but i
also have listened to you talk about conspiracy theories uh from a like a structural materialist
perspective and i think that that is 100 correct like that's exactly how i feel as well that this
is a way to try to uh this is a way to try to reason with uh realities that you are unable to to
comprehend because you have no materialist perspective exactly yeah you have to build
no application out of like the media shards which is just going to give you with the story the media
is always telling you which is a fascinating spectacle narrative that you participate in by
observing not by engaging with that's That's excluded by the relationship.
Yeah.
And then that's what gets stuck in there. It's the same as the Nazi ideology revolving around, like, looking for some kind of mythos behind it, like, and also, you know, fog rooms.
And this is frustrating to talk about, though, because all of this stuff, like, the worst thing you could imagine in terms of what the government has done,
like, if you think of, like, the most outlandish claims you've ever heard about the CIA and then scale them back, probably 75% bulk are true.
Yeah.
But the question is, which ones aren't is unknowable by the approach of trying to piece things together.
Because then you're just QAnoning yourself a fantasy narrative.
You can't find the truth that way.
Okay, question for all you guys then including will and this is a this is i
almost feel like it's cliche now because i know macro dosing talks about this too shouts out to
pft i'm gonna be on their show tomorrow but do you think alex jones is a cia op then no i because we
aren't that's at the end of the day like because we have been accused but you don't but here's the
thing people have accused us since the beginning of our show
of being some sort of CIA op.
And a lot of people have put together very detailed linkages
to make a narrative of our involvement in the state.
My family was involved with the FBI, not the CIA.
Get it right.
All they are, all the things that you can tie together,
they're basically at the same level of reasoning
that you use for all the other conspiracy narratives
you're trying to identify in the world.
And you apply that rubric to us,
and it's like, yeah, these guys ring out.
These guys stink.
I should assume that these people are CIA operatives
or whatever the fuck.
But I know for a fact that I am not.
And so that means that I know...
That's exactly what a CIA operative would cia but i'm just not saying how like my
what i'm up the principles i am ostensibly operating from you can like think i'm lying
or you can think i'm telling the truth but like this is how i imagine it the only reason why i
feel that there is some weight to that narrative is not necessarily because like oh his father was
a dentist for the cia or whatever fucking grand conspiracy that like people have tried to piece together but instead about like the very real uh
the very real output of alex jones which is 10 truth like being talking about the surveillance
day talking about like uh all the other shady things that the government does and then 90
psychotic uh bullshit that...
Isn't that always what it is, though?
Can I put out an idea?
You guys should just randomly do an episode of your podcast
where you pay three actors who look vaguely like you
and do, like, the name of the podcast is, like,
Swish House Remix or something,
and it's what your podcast would be
if the CIA tried to recreate the effect
that you guys have as plants.
I mean, what would that even be?
I guess like for the left, it would be like, well, so people say like do direct action.
Comrades, if you work backward, though, from the assumption that the state of being the state of how things are is how the status quo wants it to be.
That's what the CIA and all those guys are acting towards is what we have now. If you work back from that, anything influential in media like Alex Jones becomes
part of a narrative that made that happen. It's like, oh, Alex Jones shows up and helps make this
happen because that's what the CIA wants. And I just think that that assumption is incorrect. I
think that these broader structural changes that the cia is like moving us
towards and guarding against an alternative to emerging they are creating new conditions that
are then like opening new like avenues that then are just filled vacuums like in media that are
filled like we talk about alex jones the the his percentage of like right wing stuff has drastically
increased over the years he started off as a populist anti-bush
sort of contextually leftist critique critic of the bush administration yeah uh and that went away
when trump became president and it's like okay so is this the cia like moving the dial like
diabolically or is this somebody following the money over time yeah is this somebody seeing like
there's this ambient sense of alienation
in the cycle of America like the 90s.
Everyone's anxious about the end of history.
They want some explanation.
He's there to give that ambient nonpartisan understanding of the world
a narrative, a shape, and that includes like Waco and then 9-11
and he builds this story, Bohemian Grove elites,
that does not have any
culture war a baggage really but then when things get worse culture becomes more politicized yeah
there's a bigger audience for a conspiracy narrative since the left forecloses that
because the Democrats can't encourage that kind of thinking and and leftism really forbids it also then all of the energy goes to the right and all the audience appears on the right
people want to hear a story where their narrative your narrative of like greater forces controlling
us is directed towards specific cultural grievances and enemies yeah and away from
power structures the the the uh deep state is is you know shadow banning my Facebook account. The best argument for him being the CIA is actually Sanchez.
Because the thing that you would get out of a fan-staff
is that people are more paranoid, more atomized,
more suspicious of everything, more suspicious of their neighbors.
The best argument against it, the best argument that he is, like us at the end of the day, suspicious of their neighbors the best argument against it the best argument
that he is like us at the end of the day all of us just you know uh vetted media creatures
is the revelation that he makes like tens if not hundreds of millions yeah that's true like it's
the audience is huge and he's just at the fucking font of it everybody else is trying to carry
buckets at the edge he's got like the main hose because he was there at those critical moments
to see the time tide turning and move with it.
That is his movement.
It is not him masterminding a movement on behalf of a greater puppet master.
It is a con man.
He reads the room very well and is able to move his material.
And the audience moved right and he went with it.
That's it.
And that's the only
way that to me he makes sense and like even the sandy hook thing uh if you are if you are forming
this like new culturally right-wing populist uh critique of american power under obama uh and and
the democrats are in power and you have democrat priorities emerging and one of them being gun
control yeah and you
having in opposition to this government a desire to hold on to your guns because you're paranoid
and uh alienated from your government and you feel like that would be the removal of real power from
you is to take your guns yeah and then this thing happens this event happens that is like a bolt from god of like violence like around the issue of gun control like
the these uh media event of the obama years to connect to the issue of gun control and so you
have a democratic president leading the response to this crying on national television what is he
going to want to talk about in response there's a million things you could talk about when talking
about something like this happening guns is like one of the tertiary ones but because There's a million things you could talk about when talking about something like this happening. Guns is like one of the tertiary ones, but because he's a Democrat and that's all he can
address, that's where he's going to direct it. And so that means you see before you this event
being followed by this marshalling of forces to take your guns. If you have an understanding of
the world that includes things like the government did 9-11 is not a hard leap to imagine.
The government could stage the killing of a bunch of children to pass gun control.
I also think that—
And then if you're going to be—even if Alex Jones, and you're smart enough to know
that that's a dangerous place to go,
if you're going to start accusing these families of not being victims,
if your readers or your listeners start—and there is an interactive call-in element of this.
That's how he takes the temperature and knows where to go they're telling you that they don't want they don't want you to
tell them that this is the only thing that happened they want you to reassure them that
this country is basically good guns are basically good and that these demons pulling the strings are
what makes things like this happen in this country and the reason why we're seeing that more and more
now i think is because there's a they've exhausted all other alternative narratives to it where like you had effective counters you could always say like
there's a good guy there's a good guy that could have saved the situation there would have been a
good guy in this circumstance but like there is never going to be any sort of like legislative
prescription towards solving any of the underlying problems and even the most obvious one that's like
supposedly what a normal government would be able to solve like gun control
to a certain degree um like common sense shit like they're they're never going to do that so
after a while i think the reactionary media uh runs out of options so you have to when the
unthinkable happens like little children are brutally massacred uh there's i think there's
just like this snap where you don't have anything else
that you can say about it.
So you have to say,
no, this is not real.
It's a conspiracy.
You know what's interesting?
The Uvalde massacre,
another massacre of children,
like a repeat of Sandy Hook
under a Democratic president.
There's really no narrative
of a false flag there.
No, they ran with it a little bit.
Because the issue of the police emerged.
Yeah, that's true.
And it gave them a redoubt
to go back
to without having to go to denying it actually happened yeah they're able to stay there and
fight on those terms and then it's simply because but then it goes back to of the police inaction
and then it goes back to that's why we need to have guns because the police can't fucking defend
right but you'll notice like this is another thing that by every other right you should be
assuming didn't happen,
and yet nobody leaps to that conclusion and nobody argues on that territory
because it's not part of the material reality of the situation,
which was a result of the stochastic monstrousness of life in this country.
But of course the frustrating thing again is you talk about this and you say that
this is a lot of the things that we scare ourselves with are things that we're making up but we also
know for a fact that the cia or i mean sorry the fbi has intimate contact with basically everybody
who does a fucking yeah shooting in this country has prior understanding of them like that dude
who tried just tried to shoot up the fbi office Yeah. It shocked me to know that he was well-known to the FBI.
Sorry, I just got a shout-out about the guy who...
The Cincinnati boy.
Yeah, tried to shoot up the FBI office.
I'm an absolute legend.
Dick Schiffer.
I have to...
Dick Schiffer, God, is so good.
I have to shout-out John Dolan, the war nerd,
because he said there was, like,
the first line of this guy's Facebook post,
he said, will be in the...
Like, a 25th century volume of the Annals of American Poetry.
The line is, I thought I had a way to get through the bulletproof glass.
Turns out I didn't.
Which was a nail gun.
Which was a fucking nail gun.
We were losing it over this yesterday.
Because the glass is bulletproof.
So what am I going to use to counter the
bulletproof glass a much less powerful gun that's not he's like in his mind he's like it's not a
bullet so like when those guys are like we're trained like you don't know what you're fucking
with they mean it's like something they saw on law-abiding citizen yeah that's literally it
yeah they were watching like diy ts. Going back to like certain...
Today I figured out how to get through bulletproof glass.
Yeah, use a sword.
Killing the FBI demons.
Yeah.
TikTok boys.
Yeah, TikTok boys like,
unboxing my SBR.
I can't wait to see what kind of fucking like,
if Trump were to be indicted,
which I don't think is going to happen.
The wave of just goofies coming out of the woodwork so assault uh government bureaucratic
or media offices with like medieval siege weaponry somebody's like trying to use
twin arquebuses to bust open oh my god atf office in dubuque they try to do like mongol
biological warfare by like taking a guy who's 70
who's going to sacrifice himself
for the cause and they're like, okay,
we're going to do the worst thing to you.
We're going to give you the Pfizer vaccine
and then we're going to launch you into the FBI
field office.
You're a biological weapon.
He's a biological weapon? He's everywhere.
He's sucking dicks nonstop.
He's walking in there like,
give me, I'm so gay now.
I can't stop.
I mean, just like this morning,
some guy rolled up to the Capitol.
Yeah, unbelievable.
Four in the morning,
fired a gun in the air a couple times
and then blew his brains out.
Folks, patriots are in control.
Absolutely.
I love seeing a version of the IRA
with just no community element
no like no chain of command
no like no chain of command
no like articulated
goal like it's
good but that's where
the narrative will say that that question
of a goal yeah
sure it doesn't look like it looks stochastic but what
we're seeing behind the scenes is the pulling of the
strings of federal intelligence agencies and the FBI.
Because like we said, we know these people have these connections.
But I got to say, in my gut, trying to make sense of this stuff, I absolutely think that there is some sort of government connection to basically any mass terror attack one way or the other because of their tendrils.
I think they are in contact with all these people.
And I think they do have a general bureaucratic interest in seeing these kind of events either happen or be thwarted.
And it doesn't matter which.
So that is why I don't think that they're calling shots.
I don't think they're saying there's going to be a shooting here on this date and we're going to have this guy do it.
I think they have people in the field in contact with every fucking loose screw in this country to make sure how on the beam they are,
which direction they're going to fall,
and then maybe pushing them a little bit to get them
either to getting busted
and then getting some guy a fucking promotion
to special agent in charge,
or, oh, he does it, and now we have
another little bit of American domestic gladio
and another colonel in our national bag of popcorn
popping early so it's going to be popped off
and not end up being versionized into resistance. You you see it with like defund the police shit right where it's like
okay we we recalled chesa or we were called like whoever yeah or we're we're gonna recall
crime's going up we need a higher budget yeah okay we we did it we flooded the streets broken
window theories stop and frisk crime went down we need a bigger budget it's always going to go up for federal law enforcement exactly so they don't need a broader
like uh a real plan towards some like whatever you want to call it great replacement if you're
a racist or like reset however you want to frame that which is just like this paranoid fantasy of
american masculinity under attack i'm sorry that's what it is it's like this this big libidinal bubble that we're all building out of our terror that
we're all going to be fully proletarianized.
Yeah.
And that's the expression of it.
But I just think you cannot,
I don't think that the neoliberalization of institutions in this country
spared our intelligence community.
They got neoliberalized.
Oh yeah.
There's no longer just the CIA and the FBI.
There are 30 different fucking intelligence departments, all of them with their own bureaucracies internal hierarchies uh
institutional prerogatives competing against each other for funding and they all issue 1099s they're
all using contractors those are the people that turn virginia blue exactly and it's all being
funneled through private actors yeah probably on multiple contracts from competing fucking
organizations but i think that's part of it but that's where you see the failure, too.
What I'm saying is you get the same result, which is people being driven crazy by living in this fucking country in a violent you know, oh, yeah, like this specific guy ended up being the guy who did it because
he was in contact. He had like this interaction with this agent here. But they're all in
interactions all the time. Yeah. And eventually they fall off in one direction or another. But
the thing that's going to pull them off the beam is gravity. But that means that we are just where
we were before. And so the same questions are before us,
and they're political questions about holding power.
How do you do that?
The idea that you're going to change anything
by making people aware of conspiracy theories,
proving them, is insane,
because you already have millions and millions of people in this country
who believe the most radicalizing stuff
about what this government has done and is capable of.
And what are they doing with that understanding?
They're just trying to tell other people to believe what they believe. But capable of. And what are they doing with that understanding?
They're just trying to tell other people to believe what they believe.
But if that happens, what are they going to do with it?
The same thing that you did.
Just tell other people about it. Yeah, this is such a perfect segue into what I've been looking at on my...
I did a whole YouTube React series on this.
I call it Hog Talk.
But there are militia members and like some of them
are legitimately in militias that they form but they're the funniest and dumbest fucking militias
of all time um and basically like what you're saying is exactly true where at the end of it all
you got like a 45 year old divorced dad who looks like he's 68, okay? Just absolutely, you know, wearing a fucking hard hat,
probably on his lunch break, okay?
Talking about how, you know, we got to do something.
We got to do something.
And where does the fucking, where, what is the call to action there?
Hashtag, like, you know, duet me.
Duet my TikTok.
And, like, when you got the fucking Arkansas, you know,
white nationalist militia guy saying just duet my TikTok, it's over when you got the fucking arkansas you know white nationalist
militia guy saying just duet my tiktok it's over you're done you're done well that's okay you know
how everyone makes fun of like that online like ml or like sometimes anarchist thing of like what
are your jobs going to be after the revolution and everyone's like i'm going to be a psychiatrist
for people who are traumatized by capitalism i'm going to be a designer for the uniforms for the red army i'm going to make communist hamilton and it's it's no one no one is like i guess i'll figure
out irrigation i'll like try to do that i'll be like a bean farmer everyone always wants like
some type of artistic artistic media performer job at the end of the day yeah that's the only
thing americans i'm a anti-capitalist anti-capitalist film critic we are all we are all of us anime appraisers but that that's everyone because like these guys are
like okay what happens after the great awakening where we hang everyone from general mark millie
to like um i don't know uh uh vivian westwood or the fucking i don't know why i don't know why i
picked that as a celebrity. I was trying to pick
someone American and I landed on that one.
The fucking brown
Starbucks barista that
wrote your name wrong or something. I don't know why I said
her. But they're like, after
we do that, my role is still going to be
I'm going to be what I am now,
which is member of the media.
Everyone wants that.
I think everybody assumes,
people who believe in like, yeah,
the consciousness raising through narrative,
theory of change.
So you get, yes, yes.
And you get, okay, 50% of people might believe
that Kennedy was assassinated and 9-11 is an inside job,
but that's not enough.
You need it to be 75.
And there is a threshold.
And I think that when,
I think that is an artifact of the human brain
not understanding what technology has done to it and how it has de-socialized us.
Like that call to action from knowledge gets dissipated if it is only understood and interacted with in this this spectacle that like you are essentially addicted to.
Which means that there is no amount of horror that you will find out about that will change your relationship with it.
You have to change your material relationship to the world around you,
and that only happens through collective endeavor,
people acting together around shared material goals.
And there's no mechanism.
That's the only one.
And you can't talk about it on shows like this,
but it's the only thing that moves the wheel.
And the mechanism for that kind of change historically
has been completely undermined and eviscerated in america so there's no labor union structure or any sort
of like workers council well yeah if i could make a slight digression i know i know we said we
weren't going to talk about uh politics on this show we're gonna do some tiktok stuff we'll just
be fun and goofy but there's a serious issue i'd like to present as it relates to collective action
something i think that we as americans should take seriously that I'd like to present as it relates to collective action, something I think that we as Americans should
take seriously, that I'd like to use
your platform to spread
awareness about. That is
my blood vendetta
against the government of Norway right now.
Fuck those motherfuckers.
Did you follow the story about Freya the walrus?
Can you pull up Will's...
She's sinking boats in Oslo.
So what was the Norwegian government's response to this delightful animal?
People at Will's Twitter.
Taking up residence in people's boats.
This frolicsome queen.
Yes, this absolute queen named after a Viking goddess.
What'd they do?
They killed her.
What?
When?
Today.
This is the Scandinavian harambe.
Yeah, this is the Scandinavian model.
They said we killed her because moving her would be too difficult.
And to that, I say to Norway.
Well, they let her sink like 20 boats.
Well, I mean, just get some more boats.
It's an accident of God that you people have oil.
You were the hicks of Northern Europe.
It's true.
And then God gave you oil.
And you're like, oh, he's also telling us to kill this delightful wall.
I wish you never told me about this.
It's so fucking sad now.
Look, I am like George W. Bush with the megaphone right here.
I'm saying like the Freya fans, we hear you.
And they have a whale.
The people who killed her, you will hear from us soon.
So I'm calling for American boots on the ground in Oslo, humanitarian or walrus, you know,
sea mammal humanitarian intervention here.
The government of Norway,
there are no military or civilian targets.
They're all guilty.
Oh, 100%.
They're all guilty.
I'm not, you know,
the U.S. Air Force should just level Oslo.
Further reasons for the military industrial complex.
They kind of did an Iran-style nationalization project that was successful.
We let them get away with that.
That's fucked up.
You're right.
They have a fuckload of natural resources.
That they got to keep, which is wild.
That they got to keep.
And on top of that,
they nationalized it,
which is pretty communist.
I feel like they should be taken down a couple pages.
I mean, they would not have been allowed
to do that with their oil
if they were not in Europe.
Yeah. 100%. World's best living writer.
Carl Overcoast Kwasnard.
Here we go. Okay.
He was actually
the one who beheaded Freya.
Okay, he takes his space then.
He's the top of the 52.
He used a spyhander.
We're going into his little Saddam hole.
It's Carlo's little Saddam hole.
We're just writing volume 47.
His book, though, about his trial, the end of my struggle,
his trial where he's hung for executing Freya is going to be the best.
He's going to be writing it up until the trap door opens.
I mean, you know,
people have like darkness in them.
But seriously though,
Norway, you fucked up.
Yeah, you're on the list.
You fucked up.
That is crazy
because the last story about it
was like kind of how cute.
Yeah, and everyone loves Freya.
Oh, she's sinking boats.
That is pretty wild.
They kept trying to build
their rafts too.
Well, I mean,
just let my girl cook.
Let my girl cook. Let my girl cook let my girl cook
let my girl cook i think it was nature telling norway to cut it out like that's what that's what
it was it was nature's vengeance norway look out even if the even if american military intervention
doesn't happen which it should we'll put a boot in there on board with it's the american way yeah
i wonder what boat she was trying to sink that was finally the coffin nail.
Probably one of the oil tankers.
It's like, nope.
You can't mess with our sacks. You can sink everyone's party pontoons,
but as soon as you jump on a tanker...
That's wild.
It was a crucial Lutkafisk
consortment.
You know about that stuff?
Oh, no.
Fucking,
oh, goddammit.
What's it called?
There's another,
you're talking about
canned fish, right?
No, it's fermented.
Yeah.
It's fermented fish.
It's the worst.
I've had it.
I've had it.
It's great.
Yeah, no,
I've been to,
I have been to Iceland
and I had there,
I had there like a,
I went to a traditional restaurant
that served traditional Icelandic food.
And it had, there was some good stuff.
Like, there was lamb and, like, really nice bread.
But they also had this.
They had good food in Iceland?
Well, like, some of it.
But, like, the traditional stuff, the more traditional you got,
the grosser it was.
Yeah.
And, like, they had this thing, this mink whale that they eat.
And it just tastes like kitty litter.'s just like pure ammonia it just it blows my fucking
mind how they're i mean none of those you have to be from a warmer climate to eat like decent food
well they produce giants so they must have been doing something right i'm fine well they were
protein bulking is yeah they weren't kicking around with carbs yeah you can you can do that and still eat like they basically had the rocks
diet natural three pounds of cod a day three pounds of cod a day baby yeah and yeah it was
just fermented and salted and like they had this one other thing i had it was this dried uh uh it
was like dried cod that they would like eat in the winter and i was like oh cool like i think this
might be some sort of like a um a kind of primitive fish jerky like maybe like salty because it's preserved
it was like fucking shoelaces it was like totally flavorless totally flavorless and just like a
rusk of like uh like the uh shit you peel off a corn because you know a husk oh man it was it was
like a husk i would literally prefer not to have socialized health care.
Like, if they gave me the option, I'd be like, no, you only need to eat this fucking cod.
I mean, they have normal food there.
They love hot dogs in Scandinavia.
They're very good, by the way.
They're probably my favorite type of hot dog I've had.
The Iceland hot dogs are really tasty.
They have sauce on it.
It's really nice.
Little crunchy bits.
Really good.
Much better than the Chicago hot dog.
Yeah, that's right.
I said it.
Oh, shit.
Iceland fighting.
Oh, yeah.
Like fucking shark cartilage.
No, it's just a regular.
It's a good old regular pig anus hot dog.
It's just got beautiful fixings.
No, they just saw an American, and they're like,
oh, don't give him the one that's made out of icebergs.
Yeah.
Viable steel fetuses.
Which we always eat and love.
That's what we love to eat normally.
The Freya saga is the conclusive demolition of
the Nordic model.
The Nordic model is dead.
Matthew Brooding, you know,
fucking shambles right now.
Say what you will about
America, but like, you
know, like in San Francisco,
like that, the place with
all the sea lions.
Yeah.
Like if we have like if
like our it'd be cool if
they just like flew an
Apache helicopter over
that and just sprayed it
with a gallon. Easy. You just don't lead him as much. Imagine like imagine an It'd be cool if they just flew an Apache helicopter over that and just sprayed it with fucking Gatling guns.
Easy.
You just don't lead them as much.
Imagine an A-10 warthog just straight in.
Oh, that's sad.
Matthew Brink has been suspiciously quiet since the Freya news drop.
His silence is deafening.
Oh, man, I'm bummed out now.
That is sad.
Okay, well, we can move on from the
sea lion, the death of the sea lion.
One thing I want to talk about.
It's very interesting that
the last time we were all together, we were in a bar
at a period of time that felt
like one last good
celebration before a pretty
notable decline.
In Vegas, after the
Nevada caucus, we were there at the Bernie victory party. It just washed everyone celebration before oh god pretty notable decline yeah okay yeah in vegas after the nevada caucus
yeah we were there at the bernie victory party it just washed everyone by 30 points
and it had rained in vegas and we were at this party and i there was a rainbow there's a rainbow
behind the fucking bar and i remember just like before covid just like you know it's like grabbing
madden felix and going friends i think it's gonna be okay wasn't it like wasn't it fucking like in between it was the back
of the bar and then it was like a fucking like playground there was like a swing set or something
or forgetting that but but anyway like yeah there was a perfect rainbow behind getting fucking i'm
getting fucking goosebumps okay okay that was like good that was good it's all okay don't you think
it's interesting that now that we're all reunited something even
better has happened the president biden is going to sign the ira baby dark brandon rises yo yeah
we've got a fucking climate bill y'all which is all tax breaks for individual consumers
and all of it is balanced with new natural gas and oil we were in the place today talking about
the dark Brandon thing.
And it was so funny because like,
I mean, when it started,
it was kind of funny
because like the idea of like
that you could connect
any event that happens in the world.
Like, you know, like some...
Jackanon.
We basically invented this thing.
Yeah, like the liberal driller.
We invented the concept, honestly.
Some MAGA guy like, you know,
like crashes his car into a divider
and then it's like dark Brandon rides.
Because like the joke is
that like someone as doddering and incompetent, someone is out to lunch as biden would be like
secretly orchestrating like all world events and assassinating his enemies but now that it's been
adopted by people who were like we just passed the inflation reduction act biden laser eyes
glowing like they neoliberalized it they literally took co-opted a fucking meme and turned it into a marketing material.
All memes co-opted.
I just, every time, I feel like, I don't know.
I feel like this is like, maybe I sound a little crackhead-sick.
But I feel like, you know, we'll start a joke that's fun.
A jackanon.
Because, yeah, the idea of a man who's literally dying,
even like him signing bills,
because you know they're not giving him a real pen.
No.
Is hilarious.
And then, yeah, it gets filtered.
It goes through the Brita filter of content,
the little sediment, the thing that makes water good,
the edge gets taken out and then
eventually 18 months later it ends up in the hand of a guy whose display name is like Joshua let's
let's uh start the tree tax break Gorminks who's usually talking about zoning codes is like oh
dark dark Brandon just uh had a just ended the deferred tax
loophole for insurance companies that are chartered in connecticut and it's like i'm going to use a
nail gun to enter your townhouse i'm breaking your bulletproof glass i think this this phenomenon
though was like the actual white house staffers posting but dark branded memes.
And then people pointing out, hey, you know, the original video that made this meme included a son and Ron behind Biden's head.
And like this is like from Channer fascist culture that you're getting this thing from.
But of course, they don't know that.
They just think, oh, cool thing.
Hey, guys.
And they're trying to vaguely gesture towards an audience that they perceive but have no understanding of which is just the mass of people on the internet
and that makes me think that this is a real piece of evidence undermining the thesis that like the
trump presidency and administration is like a self-conscious like fascist uh movement and put
because a huge part of the evidence that's supposed to support that is all of the dog whistles and
references to movement shit from people like trump like talking about where we go on we go all and mentioning q
and on stuff going all the way through the administration and politic politicians they're
all like gesturing toward this but what are they doing they're doing the same thing that these
dopes are doing with dark brand they're seeing just the churn of the internet from this peep
these people that they do not understand but feel beholden to in some way they see what they're talking about and they're like that's right um yes uh bill uh yeah
where we go all that's where we are and then you have like one or two like based groiper interns
that like sneak in like a 14 word reference every now and then and then everyone's like that's it
so like ask yourself if you feel like you're part of the dark brandon community in one way or the
other you know you feel like you're participating in this fucking game think of how much influence you have over the democratic party
doesn't it stand to reason that they don't have that much more influence over the republican
party as they're massive they're differentiated posters the republican goals overall of like uh
you know that that don't go here like they don't undermine party structure itself moving it that
way but they don't undermine or or offend
the pre-established hierarchy so they can get away with like a lot more they have a lot more
leeway to just like be brutal to to people that are otherwise powerless so it does feel like you're
actually like the thing that leftists or liberals progressives on twitter get from like i don't know
canceling a show or making sure that like a voice actor is not like one tenth Cherokee or whatever.
That is the kind of feeling that's the kind of feeling that that I think Republicans can sometimes get.
Like you see with the Roe v. Wade decision, because it's ultimately not impacting or undermining the pre-established hierarchy that will continue to continue to ruin everyone's lives.
Yeah, but it will like it will accelerate
like ambient hatred and that's i think what people are feeling they're feeling like oh there is
actually a higher risk that i am going to encounter some sort of like violence from somebody politically
from the right and they that's in absolute terms probably true but their sense of danger is wildly
uh escalated by their consumption of media,
which makes some things loom much larger in their minds and therefore stain their association
with every interaction in their life.
It's psychically over-large in their mind.
And then they call that this generalized drift of fascism,
but it's an understandable psychological reaction
to a real ambient sense of dread
that everyone feels and is expressing differently.
I'm so glad we had Minecrafters on the first episode.
And then now, like, by the fourth episode,
this is what we're talking about.
All these, like, fucking little queer teenagers
that are like, oh, yeah, like, I love seeing influencers
talk to Hasan and Will.
They're going to be like, what the fuck?
This podcast has been fact-checked
by the Dark Brandon meme squad.
Yeah.
100%.
What are you going to say?
I keep putting you on.
Like, that is, okay,
one of our hard and fast rules
is that every American
who is actively invested in electoral politics
is the same person.
Yep.
They're the same person.
It is the Civil War.
It's brother against sister.
It's based brother against fucking Dark Brandon's sister. They're the same person it is the civil war it's brother against sister it's based brother against fucking
dark brandon sister it's it's they're the same sickos and you see that in that like okay before
dark brandon you had based mike lee you had shit like that you had like a guy who has been in the
senate since 1986 like people like that and yeah they would have like a griper staffer and they'd be
like oh um guess what senator richard shelby just passed a bill giving tax allowances to uh companies
that make laser guided guided missile systems in north carolina that's based give him laser eyes
yeah as lame and try hard as dark brandon but republicans do that so much better that's why
you see we've talked about this before that's why you see at q anon rallies like a fucking
republican like uh you know california senate uh a candidate that's not even gonna fucking win
go out there and then tie q anon conspiracies directly back to like you know defunding public
education and you're like what the fuck school choice why are you talking about this right now like talk about the pedophile stuff
and then they they are able to still like take that they look at like genuine grassroots uh
movements a genuine reaction to the anger that people feel on the ground and they have their
ear to the ground and they're able to like still turn it into a better marketing tool to to you know uh consistently have uh enough angry people to go out and vote while they're also
simultaneously making it so that like 10 people fucking vote anyway uh on the on the like electoral
side i would say they're more successful culturally because q anon is like it has the advantage of
being like a participatory collaborative fiction project yeah
and it's also validated by being uh unspeakable uh like an unspeakable option in mainstream media
like that validates yeah if you are fully alienated from mainstream media and people
and that is a lot of republicans are obviously but that's not just republicans you know there's
a generalized greater understanding that i don't trust anything that I see in the media. If something is universally branded by the media in unison as a disinformation
or a lie that is going to legitimize it, just prima facie for a bunch of people. And then that
gives you a buy-in. And then you start hearing the story, and it's this compelling narrative
that fits all of your understandings of how to make sense of your world from the media that you've been consuming your entire life and then ultimately
some republican turns it into a call of action to like defund public education yeah and and so
you're already homeschooling your children so you're like yeah i fucking love that it still
goes uh through that republican talking point mechanism and and ultimately uh serves the higher
purpose of like undermining the federal government's powers that already fucking sucks and you know these guys are just like at gunpoint
stealing your taxes to fund the military industrial complex and like why are you giving them money
and they're also trying to bimbify your children now and if you want more of this hot q anon action
you're gonna have to get behind that paywall because we're an hour in. So, yep, sign up now.
That's fine.
Okay.
Well, before we turn that, before we do the additional paywall stuff, let's end it on a high note.
I wanted to give you guys a gift. First of all, are you guys familiar with Bella Porch?
Bella Porch.
So, this is what I wanted to show.
I wanted to show you guys
like my she's a porn actress no she is not okay no she is a tiktok star that rose to prominence
after her very successful we have to show what this is there is no other way to do this you
gotta find i like that people just assume that anyone you associate with is a porn
i i like that her name is like someone challenged me to name my imaginary girlfriend i was just
looking at stuff around me yeah so you gotta find the original face one because like this is the
reason why she popped off right and by the way i know her personally i'm not like making fun of her
she's great she's a wonderful person she. She was on your show this week alongside myself, Neiman Price.
But I want you guys that are completely super separated, super far removed from like this incredibly viral shit to give like your first.
We're getting porch billed.
Yeah.
You're about to get on the porch pill and then I'm going to tie it into something.
The one where it's like...
Yeah.
First TikTok video.
You've never seen it.
Well, we got to fucking fire this guy.
We need an actual 20-year-old.
We need someone younger.
You need a fetus.
That's it.
Pulled it up?
Of course not. He pulled it. Yeah. Pull that up. Jamie, pull it up.
He pulled it up at the last second.
We have no volume.
Oh, yeah.
I wonder if it's because you have it in your mic or not.
L-A-P-O-R-C-H.
I would have never guessed it.
She misspelled her own last name?
No, I think that's the...
I don't know.
I'm going to take a word for it
put it on real tech perfect she's just spelling from the top
from the top
so that video went bananas like that video was everywhere it was like inescapable for
if you were under the age of like 30 what is it yeah i don't know it's a song it's not her song
it's just another song it's someone else's song so this is getting back to the question of like why
why it's so sort of logical in a way to assume that everything is string pulled
and every cultural phenomenon is a work because it's the only way to make sense of something that
is otherwise totally incomprehensible which is why these things become popular i do not understand
i can't only retrospectively can you even try to create a narrative and at that point
you're too far from it to even really feel it anymore i think it's like in the moment I'm just baffled.
I think it like appeals to like this weird sense of it.
I don't know what it is.
It's like almost the primal.
It's just like throwing shapes,
colors.
It just like fit perfectly because it was,
it was very captivating for no fucking reason.
Right.
And it blew up and then she blew up and then she was able to create
TikToks a little simpler than all that.
It's listen,
earworms,
right?
They happen.
People have invented apps that are now on everyone's phone.
Shazam to go find a song.
TikTokers tapped into very early on obscure music.
You identified that that song was pretty catchy,
very quickly putting it as their sound and then reproducing it,
creating a nice visual for it.
This is a music video in seven seconds, right? TRL is
a phenomenon that we could all explain.
Now condense that to an ADHD budget.
I think that's a very
good explanation.
The equivalent of a really
good, say, a Beastie Boys music video
would have been for someone with a Larnagora's tension span.
Exactly. It's like, we don't have time for all this narrative
shenanigans. We have a beat and we have
something that could just start in your head and then carry on all day we literally should
make it so that you can't get a like an iphone until you're 35 but that is literally like if
there's any piece of legislation that i could pass that would instantly have a positive cultural and
societal impact one million percent one million percent but again we're back to conspiracies
because it's like all right you can explain explain the broad concept with these are earworms.
These are things that appeal.
But another thing I can't answer after that is why these specific ones.
And then you get to the other explanation.
They are the MKUltra triggers.
Those are the ones that become popular because those are the ones that are like literally setting off people to do mass shootings.
Because otherwise, I don't know why this specific bump noise is better
than the other ones because there's aren't there five billion of them every second well bella sent
me a uh bella texted me is she the daughter of mr tiktok is that what no no no bella bella takes me
uh around my birthday was like what's your size like what's your hoodie size i was like uh you
know triple or double xl and i thought like
she was sending me a a birthday gift and i think she did but she just recently came out with her
new ep this is not sponsored by the way but i but i thought it would be very fun to uh have uh you
guys go through it and have your pick of the litter on your Bella Porch merch, which includes and is not limited to a Funko Pop.
Oh, baby.
Yeah.
So you got the postcards?
I have one Funko Pop already of Muncher.
So you guys get to pick one of these items.
When I get my car, I'm going to put this on the rear bumper
and get shot immediately.
The 30-year-old man with that on there?
Yeah.
I think I'll take the hoodie, unless you guys want it.
Why don't you go ahead and pop that on?
Yeah, let's do it.
For the premium.
Yeah, you don't have to wear it yet.
That's for the juicy content.
I will now, if I get the Funko Pop, I will officially have two Funko Pops,
which is two more than any man should.
There you go. I have one. I have the Morrissey Funko Pop. My friend officially have two Funko Pops, which is two more than any mansion. There you go.
I have one.
I have the Morrissey Funko Pop.
My friend Aaron sent it to me.
Oh, shot.
No, I really do.
I really do.
I think I have a Funko Pop.
I have some on top of my tower.
I was given a gift of Muncher.
Wow.
As a Funko Pop.
Dude.
Okay, that's not bad.
That's drippy.
That's drippy.
That's fits.
You look like one of the shadow producers at No Jumper.
M to the B.
M to the B.
M to the B.
M to the B.
This guy's a wizard with trends, okay?
The other thing I wanted to show you guys about TikTok specifically is because I...
Sometimes I...
I mean, first of all, I just got fucking banned for seven days for no reason.
They're so annoying.
But their community guidelines are awful. I think you pilfered my content was what happened yeah that's what
happened uh fuck you uh but one of the things that i see so frequently on it is like tiktok
live streams and i don't even know if we can pull it up on the desktop but i want to show you guys
the madness because it is basically turned into a never-ending sequence of like
either qvcs but for crystals right and i think it's like truly fascinating the way that it works
um you can use the the the volume button on the bar on the side to like lower to zero if you want
and then tiktok i've seen some tiktok lives um that people have
posted and like the difference between tiktok live and like even instagram or even the dreaded
facebook live is tiktok lives it seems like that's the one you do what is happening okay
so this is so this is like a very common one where you have this like random lady.
Okay.
There's always,
I don't know where the fuck they filmed this.
Okay.
But there's always like a random lady who is going through this like bubble
bath of crystals and people are constantly purchasing crystals.
And it's basically like gambling where,
you know,
she just dips a fucking bucket.
You'll see it in a second.
She'll dip a bucket into the weird, like, bubble bath of crystals.
And you pay for, like, you know, two scoops or one scoop.
Here, you'll see it right now.
What would conspiracy theories say about this shit right here?
It's like she's making rock gumbo.
Yeah. No, literally. Look, look, look look look and then she's gonna describe the crystals all right she's a little low energy i love i love how we're going
back into like we're trying to backwards engineer alchemy yeah okay like buckets first thing about
this is i would say one you, most crystals are bullshit, but
I would say one out of every hundred one of these crystals contains some evil power and
energy.
True evil.
True evil.
So you're saying there are no good crystals?
Well, I mean, like...
You're with the Christian fundamentalists, that they're demonic inherently.
Well, I mean, most of them are just rocks but uh one out of every thousand i would say i would say that if a if a crystal can
be charged with dark energy and i think you know i believe in a lot of bullshit i'll just accept
that i think i don't see any reason why it would not also be able to be charged with positive
energy okay i have evidence of matt's theory and this is is people are going to get mad at me.
I am sorry.
Will, you were talking about the last time we all met.
Everything was positive.
Everything was on the up and up.
During that phase of the tour, my mom sent me a gift.
My mom sent me a white crystal that was imbued with love and positivity.
No, but it was actually imbued.
No, no.
I had that crystal on hand.
What did I do with that crystal?
I lost it in transit.
When did I?
What happened after I lost it?
Super Tuesday.
He lost it, man.
Wow. I hate to say it.
Doug Brandon, that's what happened.
I kind of did.
But I think the way to make sense of it is to conceptualize an object being charged with energy.
It is charged with energy by interacting with its environment.
And I think that we can charge crystals by having them with us and mindfully being aware of them during like moments of you know intense will and and you know like moving towards an objective so placebo is what you're saying
well yeah but i mean that's real stuff at the end of the day like if you're talking about like the
effect of a crystal if it is down to it like it gives you a subconscious like 10 percent greater
confidence in your abilities or understanding or knowledge and ability to make a split second decision when like stakes are high that adds up to the like measurable energy i just thought it
was qvc gambling and it's like uh you know low low cost uh shit rocks that they're shilling out
you pay a boat you pay one price and like they might be more worth more than that yeah like the
gambling yeah exactly it's like baseball cards.
Yeah.
I might have a Ken Griffey Jr. in this one.
They've gambified everything, including this.
But it is like wild because, you know, there are a lot of trends on there that I like to look at sometimes.
Like I feel like I'm a, like as a live streamer myself, sometimes I feel like I'm just like, you know, I'm going into the, I'm the hedge fund manager.
That's like going down the street to like the penny stock you know day traders and like seeing
what they're up to when i see that because they're fucking grinding they're on for like you know yeah
they're literally grinding crystals yeah that but then there's also like there's a guy who's doing
like asmr sales of like iphone cases and he fucking does this for like eight hours and he's just like like just like you know
tickling the fucking iphone case over and over again it's like oh show me the pink one again
without like like i don't understand how the fuck you don't lose your mind doing that uh over the
course of eight fucking hours non-stop your mind doing what you do i know but like mine is more
interactive at least mine is more interactive there's. There's news to go through. There's a lot that I do, and I try to add variety to it.
If I was literally going through the same 25 iPhone cases over and over again,
I would go fucking insane.
Well, they're also doing it for an effective $27 a day.
Well, I think that crystal dealer was making Guapo.
Lots.
Really?
Yeah.
I bet every one of those...
So people were buying those things?
Let's see.
Let's see how many...
I don't know how much they cost.
How much is each one of their pulls?
I have no idea.
How much variance in the price?
Because she did three pulls while we were watching, right?
Let's see how much each one of those pulls was.
But how much more money could you possibly get i
don't know one sack more than another maybe she's like maybe she's like the robert de niro and
casino of crystals i don't know lose oh it's okay yeah they bring in the cooler they bring in a
cooler which is like when she's pulling too much there's like goldstone in there and stuff too i
think to like spice it up a little bit like where do you sell this shit do you sell it back to her
no i think people just like buy it because they little bit. Where do you sell this shit? Do you sell it back to her?
No, I think people just like buy it because they fucking love crystals.
And they think they're getting a good deal out of it. What if the Federal Reserve was buying this?
Wait.
This is the Iraqi Dino.
Go and chat.
If they're not going to sell them though.
Go and chat and ask how much one pull is.
If they're not going to sell them though, how is it handling?
Oh God, that's my account.
You said how much for one give her a rose it's only it's only it's only gambling that they can
make the like the difference in value liquid they have to be able to they have to sell them
yeah i don't know i don't know if that's like what these people are in it for i don't think
55 that's crazy and that's happening yeah and that's happening like okay
USD
that's what I'm saying
there's more to be a combined three cents
there is more
Hassan's neighbor
we're ending
the podcast we're getting a fucking
crystal washing machine or whatever the fuck that is
yeah no podcasting is
stupid that's really becoming crystal dealers a fucking crystal washing machine or whatever the fuck that is. Podcasting is stupid.
We're becoming crystal dealers.
I want to do two
things. I want to get the crystal money
and then I... This is not my idea.
I have to credit Chewie the God on Twitter
for this one.
It is to
sell a seed oil
like a supplement that removes
seed oils from your body like it's not
real it's it's just like you know whatever it's it's uh sawdust but you just say you know this is
lab studies have has been shown to uh reduce like the percent like the you know the uh indices of
seed oil in your in your residual system i had an idea i had an idea like that um me and my brother
came up with this idea.
I might ask you to edit it out
because it is a multi-billion dollar idea.
We'll bleep it.
Wait, can we put it behind the paywall?
Oh, yeah.
Okay, this is a good spot.
This is a good spot to stop for a brief moment.
And then we're going to transition
into our paywalled content.
That's right.
Because we love money. we love making money we love you know farming all the last hard-earned dollars out of
you and that's why we paywalled this part we are going to wash crystals when we get back exactly
and and also if you have a problem with that then um you can suck my dick actually as a matter of
fact people are already like like, fucking complaining.
They're like, I can't believe you're paywalls.
It's like, bro, of course.
You got a problem with it.
Get some crystals in your life.
Get some crystals in your life.
Crystal up.
Are you hating outside of the crystal?
Yeah.
You can't even get in.
You don't even have the crystal.
You don't even have the goldstone.
Anyway, and where can people sign on?
There's a link in the description for the Patreon.
And it's also what? Fear and pod? Anyway, and where can people sign on? There's a link in the description for the Patreon,
and it's also what FearAndPod,
or patreon.com slash FearAnd is where you can also join the FearAnd heads.
We'll find a better...
And it's in ampersand.
FearAnd Crystals.
No, it's not.
I fucked up.
FearAnd Crystals in West Hollywood.
If you want the ampersand, it's behind the paywall.
Yeah.
There's way more sex.
We're all going to get naked in a little bit.
And I know you want that.
I'm going to ride the simian.
I'm going to list all the hottest.
I'm going to list the hottest 3.5 billion women in the world.
Yeah.
Like starting out with number one.
I'd be curious.
Vivian Westwood um vivian westwood
boom callback brilliant that's why i make the big paywall indeed it's true