Fear& - We Saw Something We Shouldn't Have.. ft. Ted Nivison & Jarvis Johnson | Fear&

Episode Date: May 13, 2024

This week we're joined by Ted and Jarvis to explore the beauty of American traditions, fucked up sports mascots, super questionable sounding words and more. Honestly what did we even talk about this episode? I blinked and it was over.✨ BONUS CONTENT ✨ PATREON - https://www.patreon.com/FearAnd🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS 🎧  https://linktr.ee/fearand❤️ follow our guests! ❤️Jarvis: https://twitter.com/jarvisTed: https://twitter.com/TedNivison❤️ follow Fear&! ❤️Hasan: https://twitter.com/HasanthehunWill: https://twitter.com/TheWillNeffQT: https://twitter.com/QTCinderellaAustin: https://twitter.com/AustinontwitterMarche: https://twitter.com/MarcheFear&: https://twitter.com/FearAndPod00:00:00 - Intro00:01:55 - Fear&Malding is back00:03:12 - Pulse of the maggots 00:07:45 - Ted 2.0 is dripped out00:09:52 - ameribu hasan wore fubu00:13:35 - vineyard vines lore00:15:00 - willneff dressed the way you expected00:18:34 - clark wallabees, shoe talk continues00:21:40 - peleton crashed because of sex and the city00:26:48 - America Me Up 00:29:48 - self immolation every sunday00:31:45 - Pinto Ron00:35:40 - the real ken johnson story00:38:10 - someone is about to pinto ron00:42:30 - hasan denies his birthright 00:44:40 - jetts will never have bandwaggoners00:46:10 - mascots that ride on motorcycles 00:47:40 - that aint no bear00:49:10 - born to frolic, forced to spell00:50:30 - these mascots need god00:53:00 - youtube dont demonitize, this is literature01:00:00 - the david howard incident01:02:07 - cheeseball man and the doritos hole#hasanabi #tednivison  #podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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with a variety of exciting features. BetMGM offers you plenty of seamless ways to jump straight onto the gridiron and to embrace peak sports action. Visit BetMGM.com for terms and conditions. Must be 19 years of age or older. Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. Yeah, pull this thing up. Look at that top left one. Top left. That's a fucking koala.

Bro, that looks like a bad bear. That's not fucking koala. Bro, that looks like a bad bear. That's not a jazz bear. That does not look like a jazz bear. No, take that thing away from the kids. Bro. I was about to say, oh, no, he's got a baby. Ladies and gentlemen we're back again back with another one and we're doing a we're recording this on a different day because you're going to uh gay week in miami right yeah i'm going to gay week in new york as a matter of fact what are you doing

in new york it's just family stuff okay um mom graduation uh and the whole family's gonna be there so we're just gonna be there for a couple days i hate it as you know i hate traveling i absolutely despise it i don't like leaving my house while we shoot the podcast in here as opposed to anywhere else we have wonderful guests today let's start off with that really quickly ted nevis and jarv johnson the building when you're with us you're gold it's true i don't even say that i what do you say uh i don't even fucking remember i have to do the whole make something up it's like it's like the alphabet where it's like, what letter comes after?

He says something like that, though. He says something along those lines. I thought you were doing like Olive Garden. Yeah, when you're with us, your family? Yeah, when you're here, your family. You know Olive Garden. I love Olive Garden. But if you're watching this, you're probably not.

Yeah. Okay. That's what he, yeah, there we go. Okay, well, anyway, anyway we got wonderful guests today we are substituting the weak links of the podcast with some actual actually talented funny clever people wow yeah that's right we've cut who are they we've trimmed the fat oh yeah we've trimmed the fat austin's gone cutie cinderella's gone basically an episode of fear and malden yeah that's a deep cut which literally like cutie wasn't even cut because she's bad we just cut her because she's a woman the gross we the collective

that we all did there as if it was like a psychological deep cut that he just said yeah just destroyed her in the marketplace of ideas that's what i like to do i'm a reddit guy i like debating women in the marketplace of ideas about why they're debating me instead of being in the kitchen is that's a big ass fly holy shit sometimes when i see a fly like that which is for those of you that's the listening at home it's like that big it's like how did you grow so large like how much shit did you eat dude one time there was you know that that period last year where it was like raining for like a week or something la and it was like people's powers was going out and stuff like that yeah on my it seemed like the apocalypse to me because on my trash bins uh walking back into my apartment i was like i saw

a bunch of stuff moving on there i was like oh maggots oh the trash bin was covered in white grimbly little maggots grimble that was that was a common thing in my neighborhood growing up like we had like neighbors toward the end of the street like like many houses down from us but would constantly like not use trash bags and shit like that oh god they would just there would just be tons of maggots crawling out of them this is probably some sort of trigger warning i don't know what for but it's gross yeah and that's that's apparently the precursor to a fly yes is a maggot maggot. Yeah. Wait, really? Which I didn't know until I was like, what is a maggot? I thought I didn't know that either. Yeah.

What do you think flies came from? Just like eggs, maybe. I don't know. That's really funny. Like little baby eggs. No, they're little slimy. Like if you Google, it's going to be nasty. But like, yeah, those little slimy guys turn into flies.

Yeah. I used to think that they specifically were like, oh, these are the body-eating bugs. I think most avian bugs, most flight-worthy bugs, do have a metamorphosis. Yeah. Gross. Well, moths, butterflies, flies, wasps, locusts, bees. We should cut that out. What? I'm saying just cut it out.

No more flying bugs. Oh, you're not saying that part of the podcast you just say eliminate all flying oh yeah no i wasn't saying like let's edit that out i'm saying let's edit out flies from existence okay he's too content brain yeah that's what i'm thinking that's yeah no i think that i'm sure there's some utility to it. Some fucking. Offline bugs, you say? Offline them. Offline bugs. Offline bugs. Offline bugs, yeah. And you said offline bugs.

Yeah. Offline all the bugs. Whoa, hold on, hold on. Do it. Any offline buggers? You brought the blicky. Okay, first point of contention, or first order of business. That's my point of contention.

I love bees. Bees. Counterpoint, bees. Dude, bees are terrifying. Honey would hit them. i'm sure there's yeah some circle of life no there's definitely an ecological purpose that's like a crazy thing after the mention of bees it's like yeah no i guess like bees might be oh bees no no no flies oh and other flying bugs yeah no no there's there's a purpose for all of it i'm sure

some some lame ass soy commenter is going to be like, hey, Stan, you can't kill the flies. Flies are also technically... They're like, I studied, I have a PhD in flies. Flies are also... It's actually really problematic. Nerd. I just want to point out,

flies are also technically pollinators, and there are certain types of plants that make themselves smell like dead meat to attract flies. Bro, you are the nerd. Okay, we have the nerd right here. Wait, didn't you just say you didn't know that maggots turned into flies a second ago? Yeah, we had them.

Well, I just didn't know where they came from. I just knew the flies were pollinators. I knew, I know, I know, I know adult flies. I know the, I know the... He's never, you're like, you're not a fan of their early stuff. No, yeah, no, I didn't know. I wasn't aware that they had early stuff, you know. Yeah, it makes sense.

I thought they just kind of showed up. That's, I never had thought about that either. So I guess it's not that shocking. Yeah was confused that i was i did not know this knowledge he's in with the maggot lore yeah yeah he knows maggot invested yeah i think also if you like see enough maggots in life you see flies next to them and you can kind of put together i thought they were just chilling they don't all just transform at well oh the flies are just like yeah just like they're like yo we're gross as fuck and these things are gross gross solidarity yeah yeah because like flies what do they what do they do they fucking land

on shit and then they land on your food yeah so like i just thought you know it's more of the landing on the shit category for them where it's like yeah i love this gross slimy larva stuff is this true when flies land on you they shit i've heard that oh i'm sure that there's i know that they eat pull that up jamie vomiting and then the vomit melts things and then they suck their vomit back that's actually a little straw mouse rock and roll yeah like that's because we do the same thing except for we have the acid we have the vomit inside us bro you are literally making a better. What is this? My uncle used to tell me.

March, that doesn't. This is my blog. My uncle used to tell me that every time a fly lands, it poops. It turns out that's not true. But anytime they land on your food, they're more than likely throwing up on it. Yeah. Yeah. Bazed.

Bro, you are making such a good argument to just eviscerate all flies, I think. We should figure out a way to use robots to pollinate and then just little nanobots. Cut out the goddamn flies. That didn't go well in that one episode of Love, Death, Robots, I think.

Oh yeah, true. It's a good series. That's the one where it was like it was on a different planet though, so maybe it doesn't involve us. Yeah, it's not Earth, bro, Earth shit. Have you seen the series Love, Death, Robots? Yes, but I don't remember the one that you're referencing. Aside from Fly. Mosquitoes.

What do you guys have going on here? I wanted to do a first order of business. Are you ready for this? We have to address the elephant in the room, everybody. For those of you listening at home, for those of you listening at home, this is not just Ted. Ted's been on the podcast before. This is Ted 2, as I like to call it.

2.0. This is Ted 2.0. He is dripped out in fuckboy attire. Fuckboy attire. You can't say it. Literally, it's like Elwood Elwood. Now you're insulting your friend. Yeah, I do know the guy who owns the brand.

But listen, you're wearing very fashionable clothes right now. Thank you. But it doesn't end there. He literally has the key chain. Well, I have these keys. These keys have been part. I know, but now they are hanging. They are hanging because I saw people do that.

I'll admit it. I saw people do that. I'll admit it. I saw people doing that. It's cool. And that was like the cool thing to do. You look cool. In my defense, though, back in high school, the thing to do was to show people that, oh, you drove to school, you're borrowing your parents' car to drive to school. Like you would have – everyone had a lanyard. And the cool thing to do was like you had your keys in your pocket, but theanyard was tapering out of the out of the pocket and it was like i was one of these guys

little spinning little spin around the things yeah you guys ever leave the tags on your clothes wow the new era the new era hats i would i hated that shit i feel like the the would get itchy like on shirts it's definitely done as a status. It's not done for like, there's no practical reason. I don't think I've ever done that. I've forgotten tags and clothes. There's a lot of trends that I engaged in that were pretty wild.

Janko jeans. Do you guys remember those? I had Echo. Yeah. Echo Unlimited. You were an Echo guy? I was an Echo guy with the dragon pants that looped. The dragon looped from your butt all the way to your...

This is out of my depth. You're starting to throw out words I'm not understanding. I wore the tall tees. Yeah. I was big into tall tees, big into 3XL. Because it was like the 2003 NBA draft or whatever. Everybody had some big suits. Did you wear any FUBU?

I wasn't a FUBU guy. I wore FUBU. I always... You wore FUBU? Fuck yeah. For us, by us, bro. Yeah, bro. I was in New York physically barred from wearing FUBU.

You guys are speaking in moon rooms right now. You're forgetting that I'm Turkish and I grew up in Turkey. So there's no black people in Turkey. But I was obsessed with American culture. You wore FUBU. Bro, that's kind of awesome. FUBU was a brand in like the late 90s, early 2000s that was short for for us, by us. The us being black.

Yeah. And so it was very cool. Yeah. But we were forbade from wearing it. It's in the name. Kind of like how Kendrick said Drake King was the only one. I wore FUBU. It doesn't stop there, though.

You want to know what I did? I was growing up in Turkey, and I wore a Nelly Band-Aid to school. No! That's actually the hardest thing I've ever heard you say. That's so cool. I've never heard this side of you. Yeah. Do we have any photos?

I wore it one time and i'll tell you why is that a band-aid joke so you said we're getting into some deep comedy no i wore a nelly band-aid to school because i thought it was so cool yes and then they literally put i'm in turkey so no one knows who the fuck nelly is right so they just looked at me and were like you have a zit that you're coloring so i immediately took it off never again did you have like other ameriboo peers no you could like talk about american culture no like the ameri like a weebo like a wee but for american culture goes from ameriboo to saying i don't know if i'm allowed yeah i that term, but I've heard it. Yeah, I say Ameriboo. It's a valid term.

For me, I was really invested in, like, whatever the fuck the latest thing was. But, like, my peers, when you grow up on the other side of the planet, like, obviously everyone's invested in American culture. But, like, they're following along, like, with a delay, maybe like a one- or two-year delay. Now that delay with the internet is like instant. Is not as bad. I need pictures of you wearing FUBU.

I think there might be one. Pull that up. There might be one. There's a picture of me that exists. Can you look up on Google, Hasan Piker wearing FUBU? Where I'm wearing a triple XL Wayne Crabette Jets jersey with sweatpants that are like eight sizes too big.

And I think I was wearing Timbs too. Yeah. Deadass. The deadass Timbs. I wore a white I have my sixth grade yearbook still. And I'm wearing a tall tee, silver chain like very baggy pants and Jordans. Yes.

That's what I'm talking about. I wore a fucking life is good t-shirt. Yeah. We know. We can tell Ted. Don't disrespect. yeah that's what i'm talking about i wore a fucking life is good t-shirt yeah yeah we know ted turned around it was like i wore a lot of fubu yeah no you're like i told you this no you wore birkenstocks life's good when i first met but definitely uh life's good a little bit of life's good when i first met you i said you look like you live in vineyard vines. Yeah. No, vineyard vines were definitely a thing in my era.

It was the berries. Berries. Right above the knee. The boat shoes for a while. Salmon khaki shorts. Oh, yeah, me too. That was like frat culture. I had that.

The tucked in izod and or. That was like frat culture. I had that. The tucked in Izod and or. You were a frat boy. That's how people dressed in suburban Massachusetts. Yeah, at the frats at Georgia Tech. In the 2000s. In Atlanta in the south. There were a bunch of these like very southern looking frat houses where like they would all be. They look like plantations.

Yeah, exactly. And they would wear that outfit. Well, what's funny about it is that I always got confused by how the southern style became to wear vineyard vines because vineyard vines comes from massachusetts because because of what i just mentioned is that it is basically like a clan robe it's the hate crime don't tell me that my entire style was a clan robe bro i'm sorry You're talking about Massachusetts. What is the most racist state in the north? Massachusetts. Well, in the north.

Yeah. In the north. So, like, they. Can we just separate Boston from the rest of the. Still bad. I don't know, though, of all of those pieces of clothing. Racist against witches. Salem.

Women. Of all those pieces of clothing, the one that is the most baffling, and I wore them, were Sperry's. Oh, me too. Their boat shoes. Yeah. How did that become standard fare? I don't know.

Well, it was boat shoes. It was boat shoes, and then it was halfway up the cap socks. Oh, yeah. But then some people would wear them without socks, but they didn't understand how to do that properly, so it was like a bunch of high school dudes walking around with stanky feet. I, at that same era where people were wearing boat shoes i was like a skater kid so i was wearing like an element graphic tee oh my god like spitfire jeans

i had the uh the audio like belt buckle like a huge belt buckle do you remember the brand hookups no oh my god same era pull this up billy brains. There's a brand called hookups and hookups was a skateboard brand that was basically famous for doing hentai on their clothing before that was a thing. Yeah. That's sick. I had every shirt from this brand. Oh my God. I know exactly what you're talking about.

It's just, I, it clicked. I had one of their, I would go into school every week and every week my teachers would make me go to the nurse's office. They would give me a dare shirt and I would have to give them my teeth. And this was a weekly battle that I waged with my school. This is so sick. I, I had every hookup shirt. The, uh, I, I also rocked the studded belt.

You know, the like three rows of studs. Yes. Big belt buckle. Yeah. And then you also had the, oh, yeah. And then you also, you had to wear skate shoes, but then your skate shoes had to have like grip tape wear and tear so that you could tell you actually skated.

I actually. And you weren't a poser. You fought an old pair. No, I could skate. I weren't a poser you bought an old pair uh no i i could skate i can't skate i bought an old pair of skate shoes because this is actually interesting watch this do you remember an osiris d3 pull that up bailey ray brands i'm gonna show you something crazy okay i'm gonna show you something this what is that osiris d3 was the chunkiest of all skate shoes oh god i hate these yes i do know this now this is gonna blow your mind okay type in lavin shoes lavin in a different tab in a different tab lavin this high fashion brand i ripped the design

i hate osiris d3s and made a shoe that is just an osiris d3 that is like a thousand dollars oh my god i can't begin to explain to you how much i hate the chunky laces oh so now go back to the d3 go back to the d3 i bought a pair of d3s and i just put the all black ones. And I just put chunky laces in them and they are lavin. I, yeah. I also disliked the one, one lace, like this type of laces you do where you're like just horizontal lines across.

Wait, Marsh, can you pull up the audio? A D I O Kenny Anderson V twos. Oh, baby. A D. I have a,

I have a Miami shoe that I, I wore a lot as well. In miami days in black with like the caramel uh uh outsole that is so specific yeah man his dyslexic ass is not typing all that bro you're cooking them yeah oh yeah that like one on the far right yeah the one that's like black if you go like x out of those shoes are so ugly yeah on the far right. Yeah. The one that's, like, black. If you go, like, X out of that. Oh, these shoes are so ugly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The far right with the black.

What are you talking about? I hated these shoes. Oh, yeah. Another shoe. These also had a rubber. They had a rubber toe. So you could scrape that against your. Yeah, I mean, scrape that against your.

Yeah, exactly. Other shoe from this era? Type in iPath shoes. Oh, yeah. Do you remember iPath? I used to get CSS Magazine, which was, like, this, exactly. Other shoe from this era? Type in iPath shoes. Oh, yeah. Do you remember iPath? I used to get CSS Magazine, which was like this mail order skateboard magazine. Type in iPatch. Yeah.

This is like a quick time event for Marshall. He's having to do like... Dude, look at those. Do this immediately and don't make a mistake. Oh, my God. Did Davey rock Wallabies? No. Wallabies. You guys want to know?

I'll tell you what I'm wearing now. I got the... They're not Wallabies, but they're damn close. They're Clarks. The Clarks are back in style now. Those are Wallabies. I wear them now. I wear them now and they're comfy as shit.

The Pokemon Company sent me the Clarks Pokemon collab. yeah clark's makes i wear them now yeah i wear now and they're comfy as shit yeah clark's or the pokemon company sent me the clark's pokemon collab and i want to like those shoes so bad but they're so ugly what size are they probably 11 i don't know i don't know what a wallaby is type in probably not a clark's wallaby that's a wallaby oh yeah the yellow boot oh they're so bad jarvis wait actually no they don't look that good these have no these are no uh so the next row on the left let's actually look kind of those are what i have i will i will trade you any of my possessions i wish those are so ugly that's like some shit ludwig with where is like not even just dropping strays yeah that, that's crazy.

Listen, you guys want to know? I like my wallabies. They're tan, though. What's a wallaby? Sorry, that is a wallaby. That is a wallaby. It's like a mixture between a loafer and a moccasin. But it has like a really thick gum sole that is like almost geriatric in how comfortable it is.

This is actually really interesting. Clark's wallabies are an old man shoe yeah except except for one exception ghost face killer whoa the ghost face killer fell in love with clark's wallabies and he exclusively wears clark's wallabies to the point where he has his own park wallaby. And so he basically single-handedly made wallabies. Oh yeah. These are like a piece of New York hip hop culture.

That's cool. That's actually a very cool story. Yeah. Do you know why LaCroix went from being like a Midwestern mom drink to like a, a, that I don't know. I,

cause that was a thing like, um, is this a genuine question or do you have the answer? a that i don't know i because that was a thing like um is this a genuine question or do you have yeah no i don't know the answer but you are you presented that like you were about to blow up because ghostface killer actually drank something about something about the film industry because i knew it was it's a meme within the film industry lacroix as like a on set thing i unironically fucking fucking love LaCroix. I do too. And it bothers me when people don't like it because it's like. I actually have a problem. I'll go through a case a day.

My favorite one is the key lime flavor. I like the regular lime. So fuck you. The fact that there's key lime and lime and then there's orange and tangerine. Key lime is like a party. it's like a party. It's like going to Boca Raton.

That's right. You've got to slip on your Sperry's. It's like what Margaritaville wishes it could be. Whoa, coming from you, you are the expert. Well, I mean, you know, it's one of those things where, you know, there's the idea that those restaurants represent. And then there's the actual functional process of being in one and eating the food. I would love to go to a margaritaville with you. Yeah, let's go to the Universal.

We'll go to the Universal City War. What are we doing after this? I'm flying to New York. What time? Immediately. Yeah, pretty much you're you're half asleep we have to stop doing these after your your stream no i'm not i'm pointing the finger look at you what do you i wouldn't let you drive a car right now no i'm perfectly

alert i'm suffering from australian jet lag and this guy's in less shape than me i'm on three hours baby that's right i did two hours of peloton today wow i'm not slow because i re i rebroke my rib during i'm talking about my sleep so i haven't been able to work out so all i can do is peloton bike oh i was talking about how much sleep i had not how much did you get a peloton like during the pandemic or like my girlfriend did and i'm the only one who uses it because all i know is that the peloton stock was like hella inflated and then it crashed to like do you know the story of why it crashed well other than the fact that like no one everybody because gov is over this is an incredible story okay this is an incredible story

have you ever heard of sex in the city yes okay one of the main characters on sex of the city is a guy named big big was in the movies he was in the series in the sex in the city canon in an episode he has a heart attack while riding a peloton and literally all of the the over the venn diagram of women who watch sex in the city and use a peloton is almost one for one right and that was it no way look at that i definitely look at it also connected to being overinflated during yes i think i think jarvis is right like everything that people bought it like people know but like the way that's overinflated because they were like this is going to last forever this business is you know how people are going to stay fit in the

but i that's because we all fell in love with our instructors i thought that's what you were going to say i thought you were going to say that it's because they no longer have a process. Shares of Peloton fell 11% 13% after. A key character in HBO's. I don't think you're lying about that.

It wasn't the original Sex and the City. This was the Sex and the City revival. My friend Katie worked on that set. Marsh, if you pull up Peloton stock and then go to five year, you will see the department in New York.

But that was the coffin mail. That's 11%, but then yeah. Yeah. And then it just starts plummeting. It's it's the beginning of the but it's also the time that we all like started going back to work damn and and james open back up lower than it was before the pandemic their stock is lower than it was why why don't you want to believe my catchy i know i think it's from and also if uh if i'm a a day one hour one watcher of sex in the city i'm shorting

that stock the second i see that heart attack i think it was so bad sex in the city like apologized and like i did remember seeing like this i just can't imagine that someone in charge of their marketing division would have let that happen on a show like it's like you know we want to have peloton in your show well they might have paid another good example of this do you know that chair or sales of indoor rowing machines or home rowing machines ergs went absolutely fucking ballistic after text in the city house of cards because he's always using an erg that's cool and it probably just those are sick the only reason i know what a erg is is because there was a city rowing team like there was gainesville area rowing in my hometown of gainesville florida you a gainesville rower i

wasn't but i had friends who were ah and but i had a lot of friends who were and so i would just learn a bunch of stuff through osmosis about rowing that i didn't want to know were you a rowing groupie sits yeah i fucked all of them the person who sits in the front of the boat is the smallest person they're called the coxswain and it's spelled coxswain yeah it's also connected to why they stopped doing the analogy um sat questions because uh uh yeah what's it called is that that's an analogy when it's like this is to this as ah yeah um they're they they like called them out like there's people who call those out as classist because who the fuck knows what a coxswain is or coxswain pronounced i do but it I wore boat shoes. Yeah, that's the thing. And this is race-

So did everyone at Gainesville Area Rowing. Exactly. Get off your phone, slut. I'm looking for podcast topics, but it's mostly- We got one. Coxswain's. Get involved. Did you guys know about what a coxswain is?

Yeah, what's a coxswain? I don't know. I'm Turkish. Dead. He's dead. We just told you what it was. He died, man. It's a rowckswain? I don't know. I'm Turkish. Dead. He's dead. We just told you what it was. He died, man. It's a rowing thing, isn't it?

He's a contest loser. This is his podcast. He's a contest loser. He's a rowing thing. It's the short guy on the team. Yeah, it's true. We just talked about him. The short guy on the team.

But the light, like the lightest person. Lightest, smallest, because they don't want to tip the bow. Listen, I have a topic. And they've got to yell. They yell. They keep everybody in line. So I know you guys don't watch our podcast, but on our podcast from time to time, I have bow listen i have and they've got to yell they yell they keep everybody in um in line so i know you guys don't watch our podcast but on our podcast from time to time i have a segment called america

me up sorry to interrupt your regularly scheduled programming of fear and folks this is your co-host austin show of the fear and podcast here with a very special news bulletin. I know you may be enjoying a wonderful, wonderful episode, but I'm here to remind you that there's a brand new show on the Patreon called what are we calling it? Advice show with Austin show where I give you advice and it's phenomenal. And there's lots of people involved and guests and all sorts of cool shit. This is not, I'm not selling it, am I? I had to interject here, folks, because nobody in this episode remembered to promote this particular segment after I told them to do so.

So I'm here to give our first ever mid-reel advertisement on Fear And. So go check out the Patreon. It's there right now. There's a number you can call to be a part of the advice segment. It's for tier two patrons and higher. We love you.

You're the American middle class. The backbone to this country. And we always appreciate you. We always appreciate you. And happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day to all those wonderful, beautiful, natural working mothers. I love them so much. We need more.

We need to do more for our mothers. We really do. That's right. There's nobody here to respond to me because I'm alone in this podcast studio. It's very depressing. I broke into Hassan's house to film this. I'm going to imagine most of this is going to get cut.

Imagine most of this is going to get cut. I think all of it's probably going to get cut. What else do I need to say? But on our podcast, from time to time time i have a segment called america me up where i teach philistines that are typically my co-hosts about the joy of being in america and so i show some of our most important and most uplifting moments in american history last american we was literally

about like you do the massacre the mistake on the lake balloon crisis yes a massacre caused by balloons do you do this every every episode yes did you ever do you prepare it beforehand nope i'm just ad-libbing right now yeah i do oh cool yeah i would have believed that you you're just you're just like dipping your little your finger into your in your basket of general knowledge of which you have a lot yes yes he is a lore master he's a special one just for you oh you did not know that ted was going to be on this podcast until literally yes i did you could send because you delayed the pod a fucking hour you penis oh we called you a penis that's not a fun thing to be called

that's like a coxswain but just without the wane you'd be the worst coxswain look at the size of him I'd be a coxswain but less convincing well listen you're a man who likes tradition you like your animatronics

tradition is a dubious word I love tradition as far back as we can go we already established where you're from You like your animatronics? The tradition is a dubious word. I love tradition. You suggested that. As far back as we can go. Listen, we already established where you're from. Yeah, we already established I was wearing the clan robe of Massachusetts. My man just wants to live in the 1830s, but without all the races. Yes.

With everything else. You know, the Irish were oppressed as well. Yeah. Classic Massachusetts talking point. I'm also a man of tradition, and I always try and tell the other ding-dongs that our traditions are what make us great. Okay.

Okay. I also want to teach them about football. Ooh. Football tradition. Okay. I don't know if you know anything about the third team in new york the buffalo bills but they have some of the best football fans in the world because they're like constantly losing right no they're actually they've been

pretty good recently yeah recently but like historically i thought there was a girl named mary kate who I went to high school with who was really into the Buffalo Bills and that's where I learned yes now do you know what Buffalo Bills fans are called Lil Williams how did you know that

no that's not at all correct I would have been really confused Lil Williams the Bilbo Baggins no I would have been really confused. Oh, well, okay. I got one. The Bilbo Baggins. No, no,

no, no. Uh, Billy Bulls. No, it's the Bills Mafia. Oh, you've probably heard this term before.

Yes. Now the Bills, the Bills Mafia are famous for dealing in extremes. They will jump off. It doesn't sound anything like a mafia. Through through tables they'll set themselves on fire what oh yes self-immolation for a real political cause yeah the bills yeah how often are they doing that every fucking sunday so there's someone who's self-immolated every sunday every sunday that's a that's a serious problem.

It's like you find out that you've been chosen to self-immolate. That's crazy. Every Sunday, someone has to die. And you know that there was at least a couple Buffalo Bills fans that had really strong opinions on self-immolation recently. Just take a look.

Just take a look. This is... There he is being thrown for a flaming table by a woman. Wait, what? That actually is fucking hard body. Self-immolation, yes. No, it's not self-immolation. Well, he is emulating himself.

Assisted emulation. Now, that's a tour bus, probably 10 feet tall. He's screaming and bang! Oh, my God. Yeah, absolutely shatters himself. And he just fucking pops off. So what do people in Buffalo do for a living? Like, what does that guy do for a living?

Oh, they eat wings. Yeah, I mean, probably construction or... They sometimes wander over to Niagara Falls. Yeah, there's a lot of tables. Now, pause. I don't want to give anything away. All of these folding tables, they're just folding on the seam,

which is very funny. Now, there are a lot of famous fans within the Buffalo Bills. Wait, really? Yes. Oh. Because they are so adamant in their support. Who the fuck is...

Oh, oh, you're saying... Yes. These guys are famous in the fandom. Urban legends. Within the fandom, yeah. But there is one that soars so far beyond all the rest. And his name is Pinto Ron. Marsh, type in Pinto Ron.

What does he eat? A lot of beans and fart? Dude, got him, dude. He doesn't do anything so crass. He doesn't do anything so crass. Please pull up a video of Pinto Ron, what he does. I'm hearing cats. There's white people as far as the eye can see.

This is what Pinto Ron does. This is Buffalo. You'll see in a moment now. he is there he is they they beckoned him like the horn of gondor why is there so much heinz ketchup i'm about to find out i guess yeah it's a ritual there he is the god himself are they gonna bukkake him with ketchup just what sorry how old is he pinto ron's been doing this a long time. Oh, my God. Now, he does this before every home Bills game,

and he goes to the game like this. You see how he's got the burger? He's like, give me some ketchup. He's like, I need some ketchup, please. Now watch how a hero is born. Communion. I hate that I was right Hassan's face is the best thing I've ever seen right now

we're on some red ropes what oh my god looks like a Cronenberg film but guys he only has ketchup. They forgot to give him mustard. Show him the mustard too.

This looks like a scene out of The Fly. Yes. Brings it back to flies. Now there are many legends about Pinto Ron. Is he going to eat it? Ew. Wait, no. They're dipping him.

You want to know? There are some amazing things. Oh! Yeah, but it looked like somebody put the, like dipped his mustard into the shot before he took it. For sure. They're taking communion.

Like in the Catholic church, They don't deserve to win. You eat the body of Christ. I see. You've got to eat the body they deserve to lose now that now some interesting facts about pinto ron pinto ron you're quite contrarian right now i just i by the way it's funny that you just said some interesting facts on pinto ron as if we didn't watch a very interesting fact about him well you got to know about the man right yeah please pinto ron drives a ford pinto drives a pinto that's

awesome but he's modified the front of it so the hood of his car is actually a grill that he can prepare food on at a tailgate oh my god wait so when he drives on the highway he just gets like flies and mosquitoes on the grill i don't know how he does this okay okay you can you can pull that up as well now pinto ron's name is ron no kyle it's not ron they actually got his name wrong in the newspaper the first time they reported on him and he tried to correct it but bill's fans were so adamant that he was now ron that he goes by what's his name like harold you can pull up the story of pinto ron now i want to show you guys this video but this man keeps this tradition alive.

Do you know how long the tradition's been going? I think it's at least five years at this point. Oh, okay. I was thinking it was going to be like 40. Oh, so he's like, wait, hold up. He's like 55 years old, so he started doing this thing when he was 50? Well, let's look at the story here of Pinto Ron. The legend of, this is an official Bills YouTube channel.

Yes, sponsored by MailChimp. Ken Johnson. That's what I'm saying. His name is not Pinto Ron. They got his name wrong in the newspaper. Ken Johnson. Yeah. This is my dad.

There's the pinto. I started to tailgate shenanigans. About 1989. Oh, there you go. Oh, wow. Okay. Over the course of 10 or 15 years. Five years.

I always try to look for some unusual way to do something. After I get back from work, it's nearly full time after work. Getting all the coolers and buying all the food and such. Takes me a couple hours to kind of set up on Saturday where I get most of the stuff pushed around. I'll be back out here tomorrow morning at six o'clock in the morning finishing up. There's the pigeon grill. I got six grills. We use a stewing plot and put an army helmet in it for wings. We got a saw that we sizzle bacon on. I got a hubcap for stir fry. We got a rake for hamburgers and hot dogs. Oh, that's great. We got a pizza going in a filing cabinet.

We got a rim from an IndyCar. We'll do sausages and ribs and stuff on there. We got a pizza going in the filing cabinet. Wild sentence. We got a mailbox that's going to be done by jerk chicken. Mustard shenanigans. It actually started one time when I needed some ketchup on a burger. And my brother was sitting there with some ketchup.

He shot it about 12 inches. I was like, whoa. And it evolved into what it looks like now. What the fuck? Yeah. He is a fucking hero. You think he hates it, Loki? No, he loves it.

What if he secretly hates it and he's like just cursed? That like for the rest of his life he has to do this. I wasn't ready to see this in 1080p to try to attract attention it's just it's dude and it's the the beard keeps it all in so it like becomes part of his it looks like it becomes i hate your take that he doesn't want to do this i hate it so much let me tell you guys here's the lesson pinto ron does things his own way yeah and he is not dissuaded by the world around him he's an apostle tradition and because of his adamant love for tradition bills he has fans that and he makes people happy how taking hot bukkake's right in the face of ketchup and

here's the thing so simple so beautiful i agree and i think that even recently we see this in the news of people people love you seem surprised but it's gonna make sense people love those who will step up and do some sort of egregious activity with a large amount of food. And I'm glad you said that. Like the guy who went to that park in New York and ate all those cheese balls wearing the balaclava. Which is our next topic. Hold. Which is our next topic.

Hold. But you brought up a good point. It makes people happy. That's why I wanted to ask a question. You brought up that point. No a good point it makes people happy that's why i wanted to ask a question you brought up that no he said it before he said he you definitely said that but i want to ask hassan piker did he mention it hassan piker oh that it makes people happy no but you said the thing about spectacle yeah well no one hates football more than hassan that's not true no one hates football i just don't care about it and no one hates my team jets more than Hassan Piker. That's not true. No one hates football more than Hassan Piker. I just don't care about it. And no one hates my team, Jets, more than Hassan Piker.

That's not even true. They're the Muslim team. And he knows that they're one of the worst teams. And that's why I challenge you, Hassan Piker. Okay. To a bet. Wait, what? Oh, gambling is haram.

Mohamed Salah would hate that. It's the New York Jets. That's his name, right?amed Salah would hate that. It's the New York Jets. That's his name, right? Robert Salah. Yeah, the coach of the New York Jets. Mohamed Salah is the footballer, right? Robert Salah. Robert Salah.

He's a Lebanese Muslim man. It's the New York Jets. Coach. Win the Super Bowl this year. Okay. You do a pinto run. But if they don't, I'll do a pinto run. Okay, but like. So you just want to do a pinto run. We're doing a Pinto Ron. But if they don't, I'll do a Pinto Ron. Okay, but like.

So you just want to do a Pinto Ron. We're doing a Pinto Ron. You want to do a Pinto Ron, but like I already have a. More like Pinto Haran. We're doing a Pinto Ron friendship homie handshake agreement that if the New York Jets go to the Super Bowl, even if they don't win, that we're going. Yeah. And guess what? And we're telling you.

If they win that game we'll be there for you to do a pinto ron live at the stadium yeah wow there it is wait okay so will's gonna do a pinto ron yep is this like a this is just this year or is it in perpetuity no this is just this year the other one the standing the long-standing one is like if the new york jays go to the Super Bowl, I'm buying the tickets, we're going. But you brought up our next topic. You jumped the horse.

Well, I want to jump back in on the Jets. You want to jump back in on the Jets. Just real quick, how do you feel about having the same team as Gary Vee? Yeah, I was going to say, I was going to mention Gary Vee as well. No! Yeah. Oh, that's so bad. Gary Vee's whole thesis is that he wants to be rich enough to buy the Jets.

Yeah. Which he kind of definitely, surely. No, he's not. He definitely is not. Can I retort? Can I retort? Yes. If Gary V bought the Jets, he would probably be one of the least problematic owners.

Oh, yeah. I was ready for you to say that he was going to be like of the least problematic owners. Oh, yeah. I was ready for you to say that he was going to be like the Elon Musk of football. No, I mean, I'm just saying, like, listen, everybody's got fans that they're proud of. Everybody's got fans that they're less proud of. Yeah, I was just curious. It's not going to affect my fandom. Oh, of course. I'm already dealing with the fact that I have got aaron rogers burn my fucking vax card

you know wait were you doing a gary v impression when you said i'm already like really you hit the gary why'd you have to burn your vax card a solidarity out of solidarity i also have to vote for jfk jr rfk rfk jr after his brainworms yeah no no that's why you have to vote for him okay yeah because because the brainworm worms actually made him a woke man. I'm dialed in. Tradition. Pinto Ron will neff. See what I'm saying?

Destruction of fax cards. Well, I think that he definitely hits home with, I mean, I'm surprised that you're not a Buffalo Bills fan, to be honest. So I don't, I have a belief, I have a belief. Because you're definitely the kind of guy to jump through a table. I have a belief that you don't get to choose what team you're a fan of ever in life. I think that anybody who has chosen a team to be a fan of. Like the hospital you're born at.

Exactly. Exactly. This is so stupid. My hand's a little sweaty. I'm holding this gun. You're so dumb. You're born into your team. You're like, you're, it's so funny because it's the Jets too.

It's just, you're stuck. Where were you born? Listen, you don't claim your birthright, Galatasaray. You think I don't know? No, I would be more of a jazz fan. That is the Turkish soccer team that he was born into being a fan of. And he denied them. No, it was Fenerbahce, but I denied that.

Dude, it sounded like you brought out the most eldritch name. Yeah. Galatasaray! Galatasaray from the planet of Zorg, where you hail. Galatasaray is the enemy. It's actually Fenerbahce. My whole family is Fenerbahce fans. From the planet of Zorg, where you hail. Go left, right, right, right. It's the enemy. It's actually Fennel Boccia. My whole family's Fennel Boccia fans.

Like, my dad draped me in that shit when I was a kid. And he denied his birthright. I fucking hated it. He denied his birthright. But, no, but I would be, my birthright would technically be, as a New Jersey-born child, I would be a Jets fan. Yes. Well, that makes things a little bit complicated.

Come home. Well, think about this though yeah for those who have lived for tens and tens of years also known as decades um me there are certain like there are certain to my essay there are certain scenarios where that could be really tough and furthermore in this essay i'm going to be talking about um like for instance uh my i think my uh i'm i'm about 50 sure on this i think my grandfather had a period where he played for the brooklyn dodgers what i think i'm not sure or maybe he played for like a different team something in brooklyn though well that's your birthright no no what yes so then where was your grandfather born my my grandfather born where

were they born germany so what's the football team in germany then they don't have one well i was born in new york i wasn't born in new York. They were too busy doing some other stuff in Germany. I'm the Pats, baby. I'm the Pats. I'm the Pats. Pats play football. Brooker Dodgers play baseball. Well, because what I was about to say is that the Brooklyn The Brooklyn Dodgers, where are the Dodgers now? They're in Langling. Langling?

Yeah. So, what do you do? You fall in there? If you're a Seattle Supersonics fan, what do you do? Obviously, there are exceptions. But yeah, Supersonics fan, what do you do? Obviously, there are exceptions to the rule. But yeah, I'm just wondering, does it carry over? My problem is that you know who I'm talking about. I'm being crucified for asking a question. Listen, listen.

You're not who I have an issue with. I have an issue with, you remember when everybody in the world was a Golden State fan? That's crazy. When did that happen? Remember now that everybody is a Kansas City fan? I'm still a golden state fan that's crazy when did that happen remember now that everybody is a kansas city oh i'm still i'm still a golden state fan but in my defense i live in san francisco before the dynasty that's fine yeah this is fair but because it was very exciting just a little bit pissed off when everybody started wearing your shit yeah i'm the i'm the i actually got

pissed off that i have to explain that no no, no, no. No, no, no. But from before, I was like, when they won it the first time, I was like, yay, first it's the 70s. And that's what I'm saying. The Jets, long have we suffered. Long have we suffered. You would love it if there were bandwagon Jet fans, which means. No.

Which would imply that the Jets are winning. They're going to win. What's the mascot of the Jets? A jet. Yeah. Like a plane? Yeah. Isn't it a blimp? No. It looks like kind of blimpy. It's a

jet. It's on the helmet. Bro, it looks like a blimpy ass jet. No, the Jets do not have a mascot. Pull up the New York Jets helmet. Oh, bro, that's on the FAQ on the website. You don't even know about the Jets, dog. That's the jet above the... Look, it's on the helmet.

No, up, up, there. Jesus Christ, Marge. Right there. Oh my God. Here! Yes, this one, this one. That's the jet. You see it? It's above the name. Will, that's a one. That's the jet. You see it?

It's above the name. Will, that's a curve. That's a plane. At best, it's a Concorde. Bro. Which are not even being made. Bro, you litter the flight crew. Yeah, listen up, big dog.

Turns out they don't even have a fucking mascot. That would be pretty fucking awesome if a giant uh anthropomorphic jet came out and started doing a little well we do have an unofficial mascot his name is fireman ed these guys let's teach you about tradition fireman ed okay these guys look like they're celebrating 9-11 bro what's happening here well a lot of them were probably first if anyone's celebrating 9-11 it's the pittsburgh. This is Fireman Ed. Fireman Ed is our unofficial mascot. It's still Beams. Fireman Ed is

our unofficial mascot. He takes his hat off, does this, and everybody goes, oh yeah. I mean, I feel like a lot of football teams have a guy. Does he ride in on a motorcycle too? No. Because half of them do. Why are you saying this? You say that like you know all of them.

Because I did a podcast recently where we went over a bunch of mascots. Why? Vikings, they come in on a motorcycle. There's this one guy. He's had it. He's done with these fucking mascots. There's one mascot where it's just like an old guy. It looks like Ebeneezer Scrooge, but I don't.

It sounds like you're describing a dream but i'll tell you one thing the jazz bears that bear does not look like a bear it looks look it up it looks like a koala yeah or maybe it's the sun bear have you guys well have you seen the jacksonville jaguar has kind of the jazz bear mascot. He's like. Yeah, pull this thing up. That thing, look at that top left one. Top left. That's a fucking koala.

Bro, that looks like a bad bear. That's not a jazz bear. That looks, that does not look like a jazz. No, take that thing away from the kids. Bro. I was about to say, oh no, he's got a baby. That's a pedophile bear, bro. Oh, you want to see a fun mascot?. That's literally we made the same joke.

I'm struggling when that picture came up. Japan does have great mascots. Like, there's, like, city mascots in Japan. Yeah. If you Google melon bear. Oh, yeah, city mascots. How about cheetah? Melon bear.

Melon kuma. Oh, wow. Yeah, it eats children. That thing's a nightmare it's fucking terrifying it's still cute oh not there never mind yeah i i went to like uh i was in like akihabara a few years ago yeah horrifying it's the funniest i think everybody wants like a photo op that's like that uh i you know like you can buy like a mystery bag at like a yes a store and i bought a mystery bag and it had a big melon melon bear pillow and then i was like what's this and then i looked it up and was then horrified but then that became my favorite thing yes because i didn't

choose my team he doesn't represent a sport what city he gets it uh i don't he gets it. I don't remember. He gets it. I remember the name of the old guy. Look up Deacon mascot. Oh, yeah. Look up mascot. Oh, the Demon Deacons. Demon Deacon. Look up that mascot. It's like the Fighting Irish's Bizarro World twin. Maybe.

The Demon Deacon. Look him up. Look him up. Demon Deacon mascot. This is the most March episode we've had. It's awesome. I love watching him sweat. Look at this motherfucker.

This is Ebenezer Scrooge. That guy looks like he should be on a peanut can. And he comes out on a motorcycle. See what I'm talking about? They all come out on motorcycles. His full art. He's doing the fighting Irish. I mean, look at him.

This is an aristocrat that they have brought out on a motorcycle. He's like the fighting Irish. I mean, look at him. This is an aristocrat that they have brought out on a motorcycle. He's like historically a villain. I was going to go to that school. I really wanted to go to Wake Forest. Oh, I didn't know what school it was from. Georgia Bulldogs. We brought in mascots without context of who they were. I see.

And we tried to guess their name. And why don't we do stuff like that i mean i have a good one for you you ever heard of the san diego banana slugs yeah yeah oh go fuck yourself well only reason i pull it up i want to see it one of my friends in high school would wear their shirt march shirt pull up the san diego banana slugs also i don't even care i just like making them work yeah well i was gonna, while you're looking that up, the Georgia Bulldogs, they have a bulldog as a mascot, but it's a live bulldog.

And so it constantly dies, and they have to have a new one, and that's insane to me. Same thing with the Texas Longhorns. They bring a longhorn into the stadium. So, Will, you were offended on the fact that I knew this guy. We had a whole segment of the podcast talking about this motherfucker. This guy is the worst. He looks like an alien.

We didn't know he was a slug. He's a slug. We didn't know that when he first showed up, though. Pull it back up, Marge. Take a look at that and remove the context of it being a slug in your mind. It looks like the claw. It looks like an alien. I would have ruined this segment because I know all these masks.

It's got the mouth of a ninja turtle. Yeah. And like, it's confusing. Would you pull up a video, a YouTube video, the Jacksonville Jaguar mascot? This is a great mascot because he was a very normal mascot. And then I think he might have taken ayahuasca in his personal life. And he's gotten really experimental

it looks like he's not wearing half of his costume he's not he just painted his body and put on a g-string wait why does he look like that i i think the real life person just took hallucinogens and really changed his whole vibe it would have been sick if they actually brought in a jaguar um as far as good mascots go shout out to albert and alberta the mascots of the florida gators they're not real gators they're just people in gator costumes and they're cute yeah that's my home i think so i think your mascot needs to be badass i think if it's like some lame ass shit like it sucks like what's more badass than a jet we bring death around the fucking planet it literally sucks there is a there is

an australian what has killed more people than jet uh nuclear bombs but who delivered the nuclear bomb not a jet different type of uh aircraft but listen dude he got you he got there is actually a there is actually literally a team in australia that i that i got the merch of that has a b52 long cat no the b they have a b52 bomber as their mascot oh which is or not a b-52 bomber a stealth a stealth plane like a stealth jet which i thought was really weird because they don't even make them in australia and even the fucking jets don't actually have a jet as their mascot which always is they have a jet rub me the wrong way that the new york knicks are named after pants knickerbockers i actually had this conversation with cutie and she like winced when

i said knickerbocker oh because you got too close to the n-word i got too close to the n-word and she had never heard the word that's funny knickerbocker before yeah yeah yeah it sounds like a you do take a breath before saying it though to like prepare to make sure you don't fuck it up it's like the word yeah yeah you gotta do some enunciation well that's like people get weird when i say the n-word just because i don't say it a lot sure uh but i am black uh but what i am gonna say is a word that's gonna lead you almost there which is niggardly yeah you can't know yeah i'm taking that out of my book damn we really is that what you're literally eliminating it we used to be in it well i never used it i never

used it no that's you know the other one that i just forgot about that word like that we literally is that a real like the two thousand what does it mean you know another word it means cheap i've totally taken it means cheap okay well then that's probably a derivative word doesn't it sounds like it's racist i've completely eliminated rene yeah. Well, it depends on your accent. Isn't that reneg? Yeah, reneg. But, no, no, no, no. But, like, regionally, people say that word differently.

Yeah. I think. Because I've heard people say reneg and reneg. Can you look up the word that sounds like the M word really quickly to make sure that I'm not going to say it? But I think it means cheap, I think. It's either cheap or slow. Well, reneg is, like, is to take back something. You're not going to tell me.

Here, I got you. Don't worry. We can't have that on our browser wait what yeah you it's fine it's fine it's the etymology that i'm actually interested in because i think the etymology is also right oh yeah yeah i think it is um okay it's don't worry guys i can say it uh niggardly noun niggard is worse yeah it does look wrong it looks extra racist like it's it's more racist than hard because you're adding more because like letters on this is like this is wrong it feels like the root form of racism okay uh it is an adjective meaning stingy or miserly is it miserly fucked up too like also the usage of ard makes it sound like it's combining with the R slur too.

Okay, well that's just you're a child. It just seems like a combo. Like a flame retardant. Some guy on 4chan invented this. I didn't mean to call you that. You want to hear something crazy related to

this word and it's racist etymology. I will say uh i will say it yeah uh it's 14th century oh and it derives from the middle english word meaning stingy uh which is again i don't even know if i'm saying this right and also middle english doesn't i don't think it pronounces the way it looks uh because i had to read canterbury tales in english class and we read it in like in english class and we read it in like middle english and then we read it in like the translated and that shit's weird anyway nigon nigon which is probably derived i don't like probably wikipedia but i guess we don't know

which is we assume is derived from two other words also meaning stingy namely old norse no longer oh wait so it's not raised at all well it's from the 14th century but i i think it i think it's like what's the old norse word you want to give that a go i maybe don't wait i want to see where it shouldn't be it's no longer it is let me see longer let me read that there's letters on there that don't exist yeah yeah there's definitely that's like this that's just what that's just the sound of getting hit in the stomach yeah it's just like but anyway yeah that's that just says but it i it could be one of those things where the modern n-word has a similar i don't know i i remember right because donald glover has like a joke about this in his stand-up but i and i remember looking it up at some point guy and i can't yeah same uh

yeah it's an autocorrect joke because he goes say it iphone um but uh uh what was i gonna say um this is turning into cumtown dude i think good episode i think maybe i think maybe they have diverging etymologies but i don't know so maybe there's someone like who's an expert who can explain what is that what is the etymology of the n-word i don't want to look it up yeah okay let's not do it it's my people's pain it's crazy it's crazy that like it's someone who's always talking about how white people should say it i have never looked up the etymology of it yeah i was kidding i. I guess we'll never know. Doesn't it have to do with all the Spanish words for black?

That does make sense. Maybe. But English is a hodgepodge. Spanish and French are all romance. But then there's like german got it you know and then like english and apparently fucking norse yeah spanish and french are romance german german is violence read the word nogger i don't even know i don't

even feel comfortable with you saying that and we're looking at a word that isn't the n-word but it's not even a word. I'm sorry. It doesn't even... It's just not... Well, yeah, because... It's one of those things that doesn't even read like a word. If you saw those letters together,

you'd be like, oh, a cat walked over the keyboard. I read that perfectly. It's pronounced like this. Kirk. Yeah. Before we end the episode, though, we have to read the Wikipedia sub-article

called Controversies About the word niggardly yeah we could do that uh this is relevant okay i will say in the united states there have been several controversies involving the misunderstanding of the word niggardly an adjective meaning stingy or miserly because of its phonetic similarity to the n-word with a hard r which i'm i don't know i'm just choosing not to say an ethnic slur kendrick said i can't um that's a joke uh an ethnic slur used against black people although the two words are etymological etymologically unrelated yeah i remember correctly uh, because that comes from the word unhager, which is totally separate. Yeah, apparently, yeah, this niggerly arose in the Middle Ages, predates the N-word, which is from the 18th century.

Oh, you know some kid's going to high school tomorrow, and he's going to be like well actually they're not related yeah well actually the etymology doesn't line up for me i feel like i feel like it literally we actually stopped you like it wasn't a word that was like used that much i've never heard anyone say it no but i remember that this was like a like by the time i was like studying for the SATs, I think that's when the word was like, we're done with that word. Oh my God, guys. I know we have to end. It goes deeper?

I have to tell you about the David Howard incident. What's the David Howard incident? America me up, baby. On January 15, 1999, David Howard- The day before my birthday. An aide to the mayor of Washington, D.C., Anthony A. Williams, used- I'm going to stop saying the word, I'm tired of saying it, used the word that's not the N-word in reference to a budget. This apparently upset one of his black colleagues who misinterpreted it as a racial slur and lodged a complaint.

As a result, 10 days later, he tendered his resignation and Williams accepted it. After public pressure, an internal review into the matter was brought and the mayor offered Howard the chance to return to his position. The mayor got involved. Yeah. Howard refused but accepted another position, insisting that he did not feel victimized by the incident. On the contrary, Howard felt that he had learned from the situation. Damn. That's like kind of. What happened to politicians like that? Wait, this is a great lesson hold on this is a quote from the guy who resigned from his position

after using a word that wasn't the n-word but this is interesting i used to think it would be great if we could all be colorblind that's naive especially for a white person because a white person can afford to be colorblind they don't have to think about race every day bro this is the most world politician in america it's 1999 and he didn't bro nowadays if you say it they're like oh you're hired actually they're like oh let's make you the head of the rnc or something wow damn oh jesus christ i'm you know i'm i would say it's wise to stay away from the word because of yes the obvious reasons. I'm a little peeved about something. All right. Tell us.

And it has nothing to do with what we were talking about. Let's call this Ted's rant about the N-word. No, no. It has nothing to do with what we're talking about. The whites say it. Black people say it all the time. It was just, you know, we were talking about football for so long, and I had an opportunity to put this in. But I know we're ending the podcast soon,

but I just wanted to talk about it. I watched Australian football when I was in Australia. And I think that you would love that shit. Yeah. That's pretty cool. They dribbled the ball. Yeah. I don't know,

man. I, you know, I just thought I just wanted to talk about Australian football with, with Will, but Hassan just kept interrupting me the whole time, and he kept trying to say, like, the half N-word. Yeah.

All right. We had to cut so much. The podcast is actually an hour and 45 minutes, but we had to cut all the time. There is one more topic I just wanted to bring up for a second. Okay. Well, if we got time, can I talk about it for a second? We plan to talk about it, and you brought it up.

Oh, the cheeseball guy. Have you seen Cheeseball Man yet? Yeah, he's doing the same thing that the rotisserie chicken man did. That is true, and that's a deep cut, even though it's like a year ago. Yeah, rotisserie chicken guy good. He did that at a pier, though. He did that at a pier. He walked so that Cheeseball Man could run.

Yeah, honestly, I'm surprised how well Cheeseball Man. a at a pier though he did that here he walked so that cheeseball man could run yeah i'm honestly i'm surprised how well cheese they must have had like some serious boots on the ground to get all those flyers for those of you who home at home who don't know who cheeseball man is cheeseball man is an anonymous hero who in lincoln square park uh put up flyers everywhere around leading up to the day of uh him eating an entire tub of cheese balls to a crowd of hundreds now the shocking thing is he's lactosan so the event was brutal wait really i don't think those cheese balls actually have real cheese well it's i don't know but anyway he But anyway, he wears a orange balaclava and a cape. And let me just say, people love him.

And people are already looking forward to Cheeseball Man's return next year on the same day. Honestly, those fingers are probably not going to be cleaned until next year. You know, what's crazy, too, is that after seeing that, I'm so content-brained that I was like, I would have been like... Okay, look this up. This is a commercial that's going to blow your fucking mind. If there's anything a commentary YouTuber wants more, it's to be able to do some sort of social experiment thing and then be able to open the video with fucking newsreels talking

about the thing. You know what I mean, Jarvis? Look up Doritos Glory Hole. You spent a week in what i i almost did something jarvis you are sweating darts right now i'm a really easy sweater i talk about this a lot i have hyperhidrosis shout out um i just sweat there are literally dozens pause it pause it pause it okay here i want to show you this in honor of Cheeseball Man here. This is a real Doritos ad from Australia. So it's combining everyone's interests here.

Touchdown. Yeah, it only works with Doritos. Why only Doritos? Why only Doritos? You asked me questions, Billy. Oh, no. Ew. Oh. oh no ew oh

that's so gross that's awesome that's what cheese ball man needs more than anything else right now she had the Doritos glory hole yeah gentlemen the theme of today's episode was tradition no the theme of today's episode was tradition. No,

the theme of today's episode is no girls, which also goes along with tradition. I feel like I didn't get to talk about it. The theme of today's episode was tradition and much like Pinto Ron or cheese ball, man, or words that we choose not to use anymore. Pure end has become a tradition for us and we really enjoy bringing it to you.

And this episode has been a delight. Thank you to our guests, guests. Do you have anything you want to shout out other than Australian league? So it's a circular field. Okay. It's a circular field. They're all,

all the guys on the field, huge thighs. They run for probably average 15 miles per game. They, they run and they have to dribble the ball. They run too far, but then also there's four poles, one points on the sides,

six points in the middle. They got to hit it through. They're running like the whole time. And, but the field is also circular and they've got, they've got pretty solid beer there. It's, it was like 90,000 person stadium sessions.

It was a good, that was where I was. I mean, I wasn't involved on the field. I was mostly involved in the concessions and that's where my game was. But, uh, I don't know.

AFL. It was not like rugby and it's not like American football. It's like their own thing. And if you weren't, if you didn't live there, you wouldn't fucking know it existed. Yeah. Anything.

Uh, just want to shout out my podcast, sad boys. We've had episodes with Hassan. We've had episodes with hasan we've had episodes with ted we gotta have one with you soon um it's don't even bring that up you've been on chocolate sandwich i have not yeah yeah see this is funny so you're mad about not going to get on on sad boys this one's been bitching to me for six months about not coming back on it's not funny he wants to shoot and kill me look at him him. He's waving that goddamn thing around.

You've been waving that, my blood pressure. That's why I'm sweating. Every time you wave that around. All right, ladies and gentlemen, that's it for this week. Very special episode with Cutie, Cinderella, and I

behind the paywall. Thank you for everything, and we'll see you next time. All right, Michael. Let's hear Michael's voicemail. Here we go. Hello, Austin and guests, potentially. Alright, yeah, thank you.

I'm having a hard time figuring out what's the best way to do that and also what's the best way to approach someone who I don't already know. Women, in this case, as a man. But to do that respectfully without being creepy.

So yeah. Yeah. I know you have a lot of expertise in the field, so let me know what you think. All right. Thank you. Well, Michael, you would be wrong. I have not approached a woman really ever.

And Mar said we thought Will would be here, and that would be true. And, you know, we're learning. This is on the fly advice with austin show sometime austin show has shitty advice and this may be one of those particular situations no but let me get serious here