Fear& - We're back together again! | Fear&

Episode Date: February 23, 2026

Use our code for 10% off your next SeatGeek order https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/FEAR10 Sponsored by SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. Max $25 discount Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/8r8mnrx1. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. ✨WATCH THE SECOND HALF ON PATREON✨ Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/FearAnd 🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS 🎧 🔊https://linktr.ee/fearand ❤️ follow Fear&! ❤️ Hasan: https://twitter.com/Hasanthehun Will: https://twitter.com/TheWillNeff QT: https://twitter.com/QTCinderella Austin: https://twitter.com/Austinontwitter Marche: https://twitter.com/Marche Fear&: https://twitter.com/FearAndPod Chapters - 00:00:00 - reunited and it feels so good 00:04:20 - why did he have that on him 00:06:03 - seinfeld vs always sunny in philly 00:09:12 - charlie might be alive there are two confirmed accounts 00:12:00 - getting blocked by the real O-line 00:13:23 - SeatGeek 00:14:47 - we need to rent out an applebees (austin rejoice) 00:17:10 - GIRLIE POP TIME BABY 00:20:39 - oh god jesus they flutter 00:23:31 - girlies maybe this wasnt for you (or was it) 00:24:36 - ZOCDOC 00:26:21 - hasan doesnt mess with punch the monkey 00:31:40 - the pick me hippo ruined it for all of us 00:33:39 - will has the best gaydar of them all 00:40:15 - CashApp 00:41:48 - see what they can do? we sue! 00:46:33 - wait this is so messed up 00:47:37 - girlie pop warning, dont listen to this Ill signal when the coast is clear 00:50:25 - harrys 00:52:03 - the best white hat karren of all time 00:54:52 - YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR LATE CHECKOUT 00:58:37 - speak on it austin 00:59:10 - never mind dont speak on it austin 01:00:50 - what happened over in the big U #hasanabi #qtcinderella #podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

All right, we're moving on to the next topic. Pull a punch the monkey. Wait, no, don't pull up a punch the monkey. That's a very sensitive topic for me. I love him. I heard about this. Oh, I've been making fun of Punch the Monkey. Kill yourself for the second time this episode.

What are you talking about? You've been making fun of Punch the Monkey? It's so funny. No! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of the Fear and podcast. And for the first time in the year 2026 of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Reunited and it feels so good. It's cute, Cinderella.

I'm back. I was sitting here. I was looking at my rings because my dad made me that one. And then that one I bought myself and the Will got me that one. And then Pokemon got me that one. And then this one I got by myself. But then I was sitting here and I was like, I'm not wearing anything that Ledway gave me. Oh, my God.

So then I felt bad. Did he not give you one? No, I think he did. I just don't have, I'm just not wearing it today. That's okay. But I didn't notice until right now. Yeah. But that sounded like I was pandering.

I'm like, oh, no, yeah, no, this is the year of the trad wife. If you guys don't know, I am, I've, I've changed a lot. I'm a grifter now. Oh. Yeah. Welcome to the party. I'm really excited. That was one thing.

I'm actually. What? What? So, it changed. No, woke is back. I'm gay. He's always going to. Wait, if woke is back, why am I a grifter?

No, no, you got a grift to the woke, I think. You gripped to the woke. Oh, I didn't know you could do that. Yeah, for sure. I mean, Hassan's been doing it for years. So successfully. God. You know, I've never understood that.

People are like, Hassan is a grifter to the left, but like, why would anybody grift to socialism? Yeah, the worst group of people. They're all broke. You're a tri-wife. I met two serendipitously, two separate people in Utah, just random. Okay, that I met. I make small talk with strangers often. As you do.

Two separate people were talking about how Charlie Kirk is still alive. Oh. And they were like dead ass. Wait. Well, he got killed in Utah. They weren't there. Hold on. What do they think he's doing?

I don't know. I didn't get that far in the conversation because I was nervous. I wouldn't be able to play ball and they noticed that was in the wrong room. No. Where do you go in a conversation after that? Well, one was at a gas station. so there's only so much I could do. Okay.

Were you pumping your gas and a stranger came up and just like, Charlie Kirk's alive! I was buying gum. Oh. But there was a line. And in the line, the person behind my ears need to pop.

You're like, Charlie Kirk's alive. Charlie Kirk's alive. No. What led into them? I turned around and I was like, Long line, huh? Got me conspiracy.

I think I said long line, huh? Or something. I think I dropped my gun. I did something. where I like said something like, oh yeah, anyway. And they were like, they were like, you were asking for. I dropped my gum and he just went, Charlie Kirk is a price.

No. I could pick up on your signals. We made small talk. He was like, where are you going? And I was like, oh, I'm like. To Charlie Kirk's funeral. No, I was like, oh, I'm on a road trip because this was on my way back. Okay.

I was like, oh, I'm on a road trip. I'm diluting my story. This was the day before. Anyway, but I was getting ready for the road trip. So I was filling up gas and getting gum me, all the things. You know, because I don't, you guys know this. I don't stop when the pets are in the car, because then they could get stolen.

That's why I have to pee on the side of the road. Everybody knows that. Yeah. You pee on the side. You pee on the side of the road? So during a road trip, literally shit herself. What do you do?

Well, that was, that was an accident. I forgot you shit yourself. But I take a she pee with me. Oh, she pee? Yeah. Oh, is that the cup? No, it's a funnel. It's a wean.

It's a thing that makes a penis out of your vagina. Yeah. Right. So I have it right here. It's a matter of fact. Wait, what? Oh, that one is not as good, I don't think. No.

But I take it with me on road trips because I don't want, because I fear if I go into a gas station, someone will steal my two cats and my dogs are so cute. What about carjackers on the side of the road? Well, I'm just standing next to it. Nobody's stealing that car. What do you mean? Come on. It's a 2023.

I upgraded. I like your Subaru. Thank you. It's filled with way too much clutter. It smells weird. Well, I think it. Trade her car for a month. Trade my car for a month.

He doesn't even. like her car so much. Trade my car for a month. That'd be fun. Yeah. Wait, I don't know how to use a Tesla. Let me be clear.

Let me be clear. What? Cutie, your car is wonderful and it's very suitable for a lot of people, but. I'll stop you there. What? Do you want to make me cry? No, no.

No, no. Tell me about my car. Tell me about it. I love it so much. You don't want to look like a lesbian. Is that right? For two months. No, your car is beautiful.

It's a wonderful car. It's a wonderful car. It's a family. A lot of cars. I just think my car is. is better. Right. But that's better for me.

Not everyone would like that. A Tesla? I don't have a Tesla. I would never have a Tesla. I thought you did have a Tesla. I didn't like Tesla before it was cool. Are we pretending like he's never had a Tesla? Never had a Tesla?

No, no. You're thinking Will, Will has a Tesla. I have a BMW X-5M. You also have... You're telling me that's better than a Subaru Forrester? 100%. I have all weather wheels. I have tires.

All leather wheels? All leather, all weather, all weather, all weather. Anyway, it's not a big deal. We still haven't even gotten to. Sorry. This is my bad. So I was prepping for the road trip. So that's why I was in line.

And we were talking. And he's like, he's like, oh, you listen to anything good on your drives, audiobooks? And I go, oh, just podcasts. And. And then. And then he goes, oh, what kind? I said, the yard.

Because I just didn't know what else to say. I was like, the yard. It's like, it's like, I described it. I did the weirdest description. I said it's like Seinfeld, but a podcast. Because it's just like some friends. Oh, okay. Thank you.

I was nervous. There's Seinfeld and we're sunny. I'll take that. Okay. So I was like, it's Seinfeld, but a podcast. And they were like,

he was like, oh, okay. And I was like, what have you been listening to? And so. Well, he didn't say,

but he was like, oh, just some crazy stuff. And I was like, oh, okay. And this is where I get interested. Because if someone says crazy stuff,

I'm like, oh, tell me. Yeah. Like, you know, what is it? Of course. Like,

and then he was like, oh, well, you know, Charlie Kirk still alive and I was like I didn't. I didn't know that. You just took that on the chin. What was I supposed to say?

He jumped a gun. He didn't even tell you the podcast. He told you what the pocket message was. I'm with you. I'm the same thing. If somebody told me Charlie Kirk was alive, I'm so non-confrontation. I'd be like, you know what? That's interesting.

I'm going to look into that. You want me to argue it? No, I would want to explore further. Yeah, I would say something along the lines of why would you possibly believe that. Oh, I would egg it on. I did. I agree. I was scared.

No, you should. I was scared. I wouldn't know how to equip myself. No, you should have literally been like, I agree with you 100%. Tell me more about it. Let's agree. You should have taken it one step further and say, I think he's alive and he's trans. Okay.

That's not. Good idea. What? Oh, man. You're thinking overtime. No. Whoa. No, I'm telling you.

Look at my mind. Like, the thing is, kiddies like, all these right. I knew it. These right. Candice. Someone said Israel kidnapped him, cut his dick off, and made him a liberal. That's right. So these right-winger, at some point, like, they will spiral into this, like, psychosis where

eventually everything is trans. Oh, yeah. It's called transvestigation. Yeah, so the way. Yeah, I didn't learn about this last year. Yeah, they said I was. Which is awesome. A woman.

That's awesome. I've been thinking about it. I don't want to be mean, but you'd be the ugliest girl. Yeah. I don't know. You don't know. You don't know. He's got cute eyes.

No. Look at that one guy princess. Thank you. From Shrek. Oh, I'll be honest. I have been compared. I've been compared to that. That's you.

Can I be honest? On your best day. That's you going to prom. Oh, yeah. I have been compared to her. It's a hard woman. She's beautiful. Yeah, of course.

Every woman is. In her own way. That's my type. I said guy princess. That was offensive. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. It's fine.

It's what she just has a chisel. The appropriate thing was an ugly step sister. Well, she's like uglier than the ugly step sisters. She like has a jaw. Yeah. Like Sillion Murphy. Which would look good on Margot Robbie, but not on a girl. Anyway.

The guy said, so the guy said Charlie Kirk is alive and you did not investigate. I said, oh, wow. And then it was time. It was time for me to pay. And then I paid and I said, nice meeting you. And I left. Wow. Amazing.

In his mind, he was like, okay, who's the second person that thought? Well, the second person I fear. Oh. Second person, second person was just like I was talking. Let's just say I'm going to keep it elusive because I don't because, you know, I've got some, I've got some questionable family maybe is what some will say. Yeah. And this person was not.

But this was not my family. I was talking. It was fucking Ludwig. You know, it wasn't his Candice own stuff. I was playing smash night, listening to Joe Rogan. I was talking to a child. Oh. No, and the child ratted on their parents.

Oh. So, because I was like, what are the kids listening to these days? Because I was trying to bond over. I was like, kids must love Pink Pony Club. Of course. It's a freaking pony. Absolutely. And they love KSI song.

No, every word, band for band. Incredible. Actually, love Alex Warren and love Imagine Dragons. I was like, okay, this is interesting. Oh, and love Shibuzi. You know what? my nieces love Shibuzi. I think this is very, this is like a very

white take, I think, white taste in general. The child I was talking to is not white. Now what? Now what? Okay, well, Utah is white territory across the board. Oh, so you're saying they're whitewash?

You're awful. I mean, Utah is the whitest place on the planet. Yes, it's so white. I've been there. Guys, what about Idaho? Well, it's close. It's adjacent. What about like Norway?

There's a lot of Utah immigrants in Idaho. Yeah, because B-YU Idaho. Norway's pretty white. Norway. But I was talking to the child, and I was like, child, what do you listen to? Like, I was just trying to bond to make small talk. And they were like, shaboozy. And I was like, that's awesome.

I was like, what are your parents listen to? And they were like, something about Charlie Kirk. And I go, what? Well, I said, what about Charlie Kirk? And they said, well, he's alive. And I said, uh-oh. Does she think he's alive? No, she doesn't.

Which is, this is like, there's like the Candace Owens route, which is now, I think, break the brains of most middle. people including a lot of white liberal ladies are now like super fans of Candace Owens and because of her true crime pivot and stuff. Oh she has true crime now? So she basically tackles a

Charlie Kirk issue as like both a scorned lover and also from a true crime perspective. Okay. And also gossip. I love a good gossip, pod. Wait, she might be able to get me. She is entertaining. We are very close. She gossip.

In a different timeline. You're a A different timeline. I still have time. Get me started. Poping in my veins. I'm a clandestine operator. Like I'm one of the fans. Okay.

I'm giving her money. We see you, Taylor. She doesn't notice me, but it's fine. And she blocked me many years ago, but I hope she'll unblock me when she sees this video.

Anyway, so she thinks she was the first to market to be like Charlie Kirk was killed by Israel. And that was basically like an atom bomb. Okay. Because everyone was like, oh my God, that makes the most sense of all time.

It didn't, but it's fine. People believed it. Okay. You know, just kind of go along with it to make small talk with people. That's me. Yeah. And also I'm fascinated and also I like lying. So.

Okay, yeah, that's me. Yeah. So I'll be like, yeah. Yeah. Who else do you think played a role in it? But then she pivoted to from Israel to like France because she had it. She has an ongoing legal battle with the, with the prime minister of France, because she falsely claimed

that Emmanuel Macron's wife is actually a trans woman and then and then they sued Candace Owens for defamation so then she like ties it back to things that are going on in her life so then she was like

oh it's actually the French Foreign Legion so that's one side of the conspiracy that Charlie Perg is alive and that I don't even know where you get that seat. I mean I could have asked the guy to come on the pod I just didn't know we're open to that. You should just

grab a crazy motherfucker. Oh yeah. 2026. It's a new year and I've really wanted to go to more events where I've got to buy tickets. Guess what's in town in May? What?

The Netflix is laughing comedy festival. Oh my gosh. You mean Netflix is a joke? Netflix is a joke. Last time I went to 28 different shows. Wow. Yeah. But I already missed like the original sales

and now I don't know what to do. Oh my God. Well, cutie, do I have the solution for you. Uh-huh. Number one rated ticket app, Seat Geek, with over 28 million downloads.

Wow. Okay. It's an amazing place to go find a seat at one of those comedy shows. Yes. Okay. I'll have to do that, Austin.

Yeah, and no lack of events listed on Seatgeek. There's over 70,000 in Clipback. What? In addition to comedy shows, you got concerts, sports, festivals, and more. That's awesome. I can go to

maybe I'll go see John Malaney and then afterwards go to a Lakers game. Yeah. Like a two-for. And then go to Anthony Jesselnik. Oh. I can watch people pee on each other. I don't think they have tickets for that.

Oh, sorry. So what are you waiting for? Take out your phone over the Seatkeek app and add code Fear 10 to your account to make sure you get 10% off your next set of tickets. That's code Fear 10 for 10% off. Any tickets on Seatkeek. Well, I've always wanted for us.

He was friendly. And maybe, you know, because you don't travel. this would be a good option for us to rent out like an apple bees. Oh my God. I just welcome local. I went there for Valentine's Day one time. Hardworking Americans in. So sad.

We'll pay for your triple dippers if you sit down and talk to us for 10 minutes. Can I tell you? I'm not a big Applebee's. No, me neither. I'm a big, I'm in Chili's. I'm a Chili's. Yeah, I think that is the litmus test if you're a normal human. Chili's has the good triple bits.

I don't like Applebee's. I prefer Chili's. I do felt like you were. faking that. I only had Applebee's as an option growing up, but Applebee's has been running this commercial recently and I've really locked into it and it's the burger dip in the cheese. And I've been craving it.

You saw it on Twitter. I see it on Twitter. I want to see it. It's so delicious. Marsh, it looks so fucking good. For the Patreon, go ahead and lock in a delivery order of chilies. Get the triple dipperes with the mozzarella sticks and the burger. No, not chilies. No, we got to try this Applebee's burger. It's the one dipped in the cheese.

Marsh, lock in two orders. But if you don't talk about us Triple dippers, yes dipped in the cheese It's two burgers It's gonna remind me of my ex-boyfriend I know exactly where you're talking about Because I saw it

He loved Applebees Really? Did you date me? I can't believe that that wasn't Red Flagg enough No, it was bad we went there all the time It's one of the most disgusting American inventions

And I love it Yeah, no, it's amazing That's why I think the US has the best food in the world I really do Best microwave I feel so bad. bad for anyone doing Ramadan

right now and they're listening to our podcast driving to work. If you're listening after hours Yeah. Okay, yeah, fine. Okay, here we go. Yeah, we've already But you don't need audio by the way. But you don't need audio with this, bad one.

Yeah, oh my God. We're doing a fucking Apple's piece. Dude, dude. No, the that looks so good. The mind that invented this madness, dude.

Oh, and dip the fucking bacon. Give me some of those Buffalo Krispers, too. So I'll order two of those? Yeah. Oh, my God. Wait, does Applebyes even deliver? I don't know. By the way, ladies and gentlemen,

it is now time. Can you hit me with a girly pop real quick? Girlie pop. What if I don't have one? Girlie pop. Don't worry, I brought one in honor of you rejoining. Oh, thank God. So cutie

I brought cookies for the patron That's all I got this week In honor of you coming back A rare segment I prepped What I think Is the nerd community's version Of a girly pop nation beef

Oh Oh I thought it was gonna be Alyssa Alyssa I cannot Yeah Lou how do you say it Lou?

Every time I hear it It's a different Okay Lou March is wasion That's why Okay Alyssa Liu is who everyone is obsessed with right now Yeah

I got a lot to say about that. Thank God. You're bad kidding because I had no fucking idea what was going on in girly population. Oh, it's bad. We're obsessed. She did skating to Pink Panthers and so now we're obsessed with her. She's dope. She also won the gold medal.

And she has a smiley that she gave herself. Yeah. She's dope. It's that the Republicans have decided that she's like a mega champion now and they're lying about things that she's never said where they're like, yeah, we need to like make this nation a white state. Alyssa Liu. And it's like, she's woke.

What the fuck's wrong with you, guys? So they're like trying to take her. Yeah, they're trying to like make her into like a conservative patriotic icon. Oh. Because of her interesting backstory, but we don't need to get into that while March is pulling this up. I can actually talk about it if you want. He's not pulling anything up. Well, he's talking about girly pop.

I haven't even introduced this story. Oh, I've been waiting for somebody to be pulled up. Kind of hard started rambling. We were, we were filling. I thought you said something to Mark. No, no, no. I just got distracted. No, no, no, there's nothing visual I'm pulling up.

I can tell most of it. I've rehearsed. Okay. So, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, have you been following the new season of Game of Thrones Knights of the Seven Kingdom? No. No. I haven't watched it yet.

It's so fucking good. Okay. You don't see why you'd ever see it. Before you get into, can I just say? Finally. appreciation and representation for us talls because for far too long kill yourself far too long always a bridesmaid never a bride tall guys tall guys are never the main character look at the dumbass NBA idiot

tall guys no in TV shows and in movies tall guys are always like oh you're the dumb brute like you're the side character ooh you just got owned those two tennis people that made out was awesome. No, but none of them as tall. None of them are seen as tall. The main character in this show is Sir Duncan the tall.

No. That's literally what they call him. Sir Duncan the tall. And he's an oafish brute. I know, but like he's a lovable ophees brute. The poor oppressed tall people. Yes, I'm sick and tired of it. It's always like average height people who are the main character and tall guys oftentimes are

I just get tired of women wanting me for my body. I wish there. Shut up. It made me feel so seen. Oh, my God. When Barathean, when Barathean, the king or like the family of the, you know, king in the game of throw series, turns around to Sir Duncan the tall and goes, stand brave. Stand tall. I was like, there's a young boy.

There's a young boy who's an NBA prospect. Do you really think you're oppressed? He's acting. He's acting like it. A prospect out there right now. And he saw that. moment and he thought to himself, you know what? I don't have to

be on the other than this anymore. Do you walk into a room and pussies flutter? They don't ew, yuck. Oh, God, Jesus. That was great. That was, like, gave me a visual. That was wild. Isn't that what pussies do?

They flutter. No, I don't think. Yeah, when they queef. I've never seen a pussy really do anything, so I don't really know what no. Anyway, back to what I was, thank you. for your message about telerepresentation. Thank God we covered that.

So, new season of Game of Thrones, Knights of the Seven Kingdom, the last episode, is one of the highest rated episodes of television ever. Uh-huh. Clocking in at a 9.9 and approaching a 10

on IMDB. Worth it, by the way, worth it. Now here comes the drama. Ooh. I love the drama. Me too. I live for it. Listen to this.

Yeah. Do you guys know the only episode of TV on IMDB to be rated at 10? Brickabat! Correct! Yeah. Is that a guess? No, I know everything. It's Ozzymandias.

I'm the smartest girl in the world. It's Ozzymandias from, uh, from Breaking Bad. So as Night of the Seven Kingdom was nearing a 10 overall, the fandom of Breaking Bad, linked together and started review bombing. Oh my God. Review bombing. Okay, that's a little mean. Night of the Seven Kingdom.

Yeah. And dropped its ratings back down from a 10 to a 9.9 because they wanted Breaking Bad to have the only 10 episode. However, they made a grave mistake. They self-identified. In the comments of on IMDB, this one's for Breaking Bad. Breaking Bad on top. Fuck this show. So the fandom of Game of Thrones got together.

and went and review bombed Ozzy Mandius, and now on IMDB, there are no 10-rated episodes, mutually assured destruction between fandoms. Oh, my gosh. And the throne is vacant. So are the girly pops involved in this at all?

No, but we just like drama. No, at the beginning, I literally said this is the nerdy version of really. I did the jingle and everything. I literally, I said it was a nerily. I said this is the nerds version of a girly pop beef. I know.

I introed it. No, I know, but you said do the jingle and it wasn't a girly pop nation. You've ruined the- Are you hearing the jingle is what he's saying? No, this seems fun. You've heard him. You've ruined it. You ruined it.

Next time you cue the girly pop song. You can't. Be serious, dude. I was so excited. I thought he was pulling up a slideshow and everything. Yeah. Yeah. You realized.

You realized you were going to talk about something girls care about. Yeah, really, you realize when I send the signal and I send it to the sky, the girlie pops all around the world. world. Our pussy's flutter. We say, what are we talking about this week? I hope it's

juicy drama. They're pussy's flutter. Wait, wait, wait. It will's defense. The girly pops are very much into guns. And drama! Yeah.

But yeah, but that's just, that's just sort of a, that's just, that's just. I'm feeling stereotypes. Yeah, I agree. That's what I was thinking.

That's what I was thinking. Yeah. I think women... We can move on. Yeah. We can move on. Well, look, well, I'm proud.

Just don't ask for the fucking song. Just don't ask for the song again. Okay, don't put up the bat signal if there's not a crime. All right, we're moving on to the next topic. Pull a punch the monkey. Wait, no, don't pull up. You put a punch a monkey. That's a very sensitive topic for me.

I love him. I've been making fun of punch the monkey. Kill yourself for the second time this episode. What are you talking about? You're making fun of punch the monkey? It's so funny. No! Cudy, you're the healthiest person I know.

Thank you. I wonder why you're so healthy. Austin, you love attention. You know what, guys, I have really good news. In 2026, I got two new therapists. Wow. And do you know how I found him? How did you find him?

I found him on Zocococ. I found him on Zoc Doc. I found him on Zoc Doc, which is an app. It's a free app. and website that helps you find in book high quality in network doctors so you can find someone you love, which is really nice.

Because going to a doctor that you don't love would be detrimental probably to someone's health. And I think all of us, all of us should probably stop putting off those doctor appointments. Like for whatever you might need, just stop putting them off, download the free app

and use your preferences to find the best doctor for you. No one asking if he's hot. Stop. I'm going to be sick. You're just dying. Stop. Austin.

Austin. You can stop putting up those doctors appointments and go to Zocdoc.com slash fear to find any. Stop putting all those doctors appointments to go to Zogdog.com. slash fear to find an instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash fear. This message is sponsored by Zogtok. Hassan, I am so at odds with you right now. The world, dude, can I be honest with you?

There's a rumor out there that Andrew Tate offered to bi-punch the monkey. Yeah, I hope that doesn't have it. And it was the first time I was like, maybe we were wrong about this guy. Yeah. What? No. That's what he's trying to do it. No. That's why he's trying to do it. I'm not fine. Save punch. Well, let's see it. What happened? No, I'm not watching it. Wait, wait. I heard about this through the grapevine. I'd like- You know, punch the monkey! I saw cutie tweet it and I was like something. Dude, dude, what the fuck? Wait, how are you so oblivious?

I'll be honest. You're on Twitter all the time. You didn't see this has been fucking the most viral story. There was a bunch of, I don't know. I know. I know. Gay shit going on? Yeah, I didn't call it that. Yeah, well, there was a lot of pretty accurate. There's a lot of gay shit on my timeline. I saw a cutie tweet about it and I said, oh, some monkeys getting his ass kicked by

No, we gotta get this monkey a glock. Right? Yeah, okay, so let's see what happened because I haven't seen the video. Okay, let me, can I give you a lead in? Yeah. Punch is a monkey. Punch king. His name is punch? Yes. Like, punch king.

Got to ask him for it? I mean, come on. Hey. This monkey was born into captivity and his mother abandoned him. God. And he was given a plushy toy. Bad vibes. Just stand in for his other.

And he dregs the plushy toy everywhere. And the other monkeys in the enclosure beat the shit out of him. Can I be honest with you? No. I'm going to be honest with you. Don't. Be honest. I don't want your eyes.

No. I think. Hold on. Because I want to see what the internet does. I think, hold on. First of all, I don't endorse bullying. Unless. But I look at some of these people that have rose to power like Stephen Miller.

And I said if he would have been punched a few times when he was a kid. He's an orphan monkey! Maybe. Not a fucking, what are we talking about? Do you think this monkey is the next, like, Hitler? I'm just saying, maybe this monkey would have grown up to be a right-wing in cell. And maybe this is what I'm teaching. I like where you went with that.

It was bold. It was bold. We need to bring back bullying so that we don't raise Nazis. Okay. So punching the six-month-old baby McCock. Okay. And basically, he's abandoned by his mother as well said

and he brings this cute plushy toy around however a lot of people have misunderstood the dynamic of macaques which are you know territorial and there's a hierarchy and the reason why they're beating the shit out of this monkey is not because they're like fuck you it's because he's an orphan

no they're beating him up because they need to establish the hierarchy is just like natural part of the process fuck those monkeys that's how I feel thank you yeah I'm ready to go John Wick on those monkeys No, I am ready to go full arombe, jump in the enclosure, and kill some apes.

I'll be honest with you. This monkey is vulnerable and susceptible to falling down the right wing pipe-bite. I agree. I think he need to get an ass-kicking because in 20 or 30 years he could be in Steve Miller's position. I do really hate to say this, but like I was bullied a lot and now I'm kind of good, you know? See? So he- That's what I'm saying.

Okay, I'm reversing. I'm going to do this. She won't pee on road trips for fear that her cats are stolen. Yeah, but that's reasonable. No, no. I also won't do sinus. Sinus. We could come together to love and send support to punch the monkey.

But isn't it funny to just think that he has bad vibes? No, he's got great vibes. Look at him. Everybody left. It's so sad. Oh my God, it's so sad. It's the saddest thing ever. I want to say that I, I am just,

No, you're not. You hate him. In my head cannon, Punch knows that he's viral, right? Punch knows that he's fucking viral. So he'll just walk up to the other monkeys and he'll be like, you'll fuck you. He says like a slur. Why does, yeah. Your brains are both shattered.

Wait, show the one where he gets his fucking shit white. No, don't show that one. He gets swung, oh my God, I can't even watch that. Oh my God. No. Oh my God. Now, dude, you have an issue. No, no, hold on. I called an animal expert on this.

Look, and he goes to his plushy. Do you just call Maya? Maya, yeah, Maya had a comment on this, and she said that... Did you actually call her, or you just think her clip? I just saw her clip. What did Maya say? Okay. Maya told me, personally, when I read the tweet.

Your Parasota. That she said that, like, basically, if the monkeys wanted to hurt the monkey, they would have hurt him harder. So I think this is like a... It's a normal... It's a normal... We are human beings, and we think... Anthropomorphize.

Yes. They're doing things differently. Can I say something brave and bold? When it comes to Punch the Monkey, I think that sometimes animal experts are a lot like, we'll say, globe experts who used to think it was flat. The expert opinion of Maya could be proven wrong in the future. And Punch the Monkey is a national treasure. I don't know what's true to go because I've been on his side this whole time.

But unfortunately, I'm going to have to say, we have to agree with. I've been heard before. Yeah. Her name is Moodang. What the fuck did Moodang do you? A pygmy hippo that took the internet by storm. Moodang was cute. Moodang used to get a little aggressive, but in a cute way with all the zookeeper.

Oh, Mudang. And then she vote for Trump. Because she came out as a Republican. Wait, what? She did. That's right. They asked Moodang. You nailed it.

Good. They asked Moodang. who is going to win the 22nd of our election and Moudang was like Trump Okay, well maybe she didn't vote She's just good on Polly Market Yeah, she's predicted I heard Moudang was

Fuck that hip-voted third party I think she voted for third party No, she voted for Donald Trump Moodang is a Trump supporter I've been heard before We're gonna find out that punch Maybe has some bad vibes I told you, fascist

Yeah, you're gonna find out That punch has been in some weird Weird circles Punch is on pterogram Either of nine angles. That's what I'm saying. Punch the monkey. I have never felt so strongly

a maternal instinct to protect another living thing. Look, I think if I was around Punch the monkey, I would probably throw some hands at the other. His carrying the plushy shows such an unbelievable

capacity for love and desire to be loved. And I want to give that monkey the love it deserves. I just don't think you're considering the ramifications of a right-wing monkey

growing up. Yeah, we shouldn't be coddled in this monkey. What if he's saying slurs? I hate you both. In monkey language,

that's right. He could be calling it. I could be intolerant. I give you the pass. You can kill the other monkeys. I'm saying, because that's what I want to do. But I can't get on an airplane.

In the animal kingdom, there's a reason for this hierarchy to be in that. Let's establish something. I am the most empathetic. We're going to discuss this. I am the most perceptive. I am the most empathetic. And now I have the hardware to prove.

Okay, folks, he's talking about the stream that I put together called Testing Streamers Gator, where I challenge these two men on who had the best Gator. Okay. And at the end, we determine and crowned Will Neff, the victor. Oh, Japan. Okay. Thank you. He won the Gator.

I'm on my way. Testing Shimmers Gator Stream, and he defeated me. Now, Kitty, there were some ramifications that came of this. I challenged Hassan Piker to a bet. I said, motherfucker, I will kick your ass, embarrass you in front of thousands of viewers. And if I do, you have to go on a fear-end tour. Okay? And if I don't, if you wait. I have to get a tattoo of Piker Broadcasting Service on my ass, but I defeated him.

Do we know, do we know by what margin you defeated him? By three points. No, two points. Two points. We'll beat me by three points. Two points. You beat me by two points. And only because the first round, I, like, really got cooked.

No, I beat you by six points. You got how much? 23. You got 20. How many people were there? 14. You got 70. That's five points.

He got 20. He got 20. You got 20. I got 23. I got 17. No, I didn't get 17. I got 18. Oh, yeah.

Okay. So anyway. But the whole idea was that we were going to do a tour. Now, we need to establish what we're doing here. Right. And it should be established by the winner. Well, hold on. Yeah, because the winner also had.

He wasn't in the bet. No, but he got in the bet before the game started where he said, we're going to a Jets game instead, which I'm fine. Well, that's fun. But I said we could also tour. Will, you, well, because you wanted, I've been trying to get a show in Portland, Oregon, which is driveable, cutie. You could drive. We pull that, drive up.

18 hours. Oh. I feel like we could break it up into a couple spots. Don't worry. I've had ideas. I planned out this situation. What's that? Because I knew this exact conversation.

So what's going to happen? I'll tell you what's going to happen. We're going to make everybody happen. Okay. Oh. Because we're doing a Starlight Express stream. We're taking the. train from Los Angeles

to Portland, the longest and most scenic American train ride. How long is it? It is two days, baby. I like it. We're doing a stream. And then when we get to Portland, we're doing a show. We're coming back. And when we come back, we'll do another show in Los Angeles. Two shows. So that's like a five day. I fucking love that.

What does it look like? It's going to be your first fear on trip you go on. What does the inside of the train look like? That's a great question. Is it scary? No, it's gorgeous. It's beautiful. You have a bed.

It's considered the most scenic train ride. Look at how pretty that is. Oh my God. Well, you know, look. And if we plan in it. Right. Yeah. And if we plan in advance, we can buy a whole cabin.

Oh, yeah. So we can just be loud and crazy and sprawl. I want to be able to death stop life. Right. Yeah. Totally. We can get Starlink. We can totally make that happen.

We can buy a whole cabin and we can sprawl out. Wait. Yeah, but what if people know where on it and they know Hassan's on it and they bomb it? Well. Hmm. This has happened to me in China. Yeah. I think we'll be okay.

Yeah. Can I be in the cabin a few away from his ons? We'll take a separate train. We won't tell people in advance, so it'd be almost impossible. See, the thing about trains is even if you're in another cabin, it's still connected. You and I can take a separate train. Really? Well, I'll be on a separate train.

See, you heard my fear. Now you know it's kind of a valid one. People try to find him. It's a fabulous idea. Can Swift come? Yes. Dogs are allowed? Yeah.

Okay. Can you guys stay at my house? Yeah. Okay. All right. Okay. We'll do a special. I'm so fucking excited.

His house is so cool because it's all black and white. Yes. You guys can finally see it. Oh my God. I'd be so excited. This is so exciting. Oh, my. Thank.

Wait, but didn't you have all that drama about a dog coming to your house once? You guys are, oh, you're bringing your dog. Yeah. But my dog's good with cats. Yeah. My dog is coming. His dog is not good with cats. My dog.

My dog is great with cats. You know what? You know what? I'll tell you this. We had like a whole bit about that. I remember. I know. You know what?

I am going to allow your animals into my home. Wow. So, Kaya can come to your house. She can come, but she has to stay on the main floor. That's fine. Because I'm going to give you a hardwood floor room. That's where the cats are at it. Dog, she's potty trained better than you.

Are you kidding me? She is potty trained better than you. Okay. It'll be fine. Did you know? Or did that apple bees and chilies? I am gonna drop kick you through the dry wall! Anyway.

That would be really cool to see. But anyway, congratulations, Will, on your Gator victory. The stream was fantastic. Thank you. It was wonderful. I'm gonna have to say, I guess. In my defense, I'm too woke. You don't have to order.

Oh, you're too low. I'm too woke. I just like, can I just see it? Because I haven't. You're too woke. I'm just, I'm too woke. And what happened is, you know, you can never tell and you mustn't tell.

Don't ask, don't tell. Oh, it's a matter of fact. That was a, I was throwing people, I was throwing people off on purpose. Also, everyone's a little gay, so maybe. That's true. That's very good. Can I, can I say the opposite end of that spectrum? Right, you can never tell who's gay,

but I think it's also a great indication that the gay community has such a vibrant culture that they have put together over the decades and banding together, particularly in Los Angeles, that I was able to identify many of the people that grew up in the same environment I did here in West Hollywood. I'm going to take this. The guy you had the best read-on

was the actor guy. I'm going to say, most of the time you can tell. We clocked it almost every time. Almost every time. Besides Hassan, you know, we were two points in. Yeah, he sucked.

We had two points between us. Will was a hell. My favorite thing in the world has been those. Have you seen those, like, that new trivia channel? I'm obsessed. Maybe we can do it on the Patreon, I suppose. Okay, we'll do it all night, me and Ludwig. Pause, pause, pause.

Wow, I tell you what, do I love spending money? Yeah, and you owe me money. What? You owe me so much. How much? Probably like $400,000. $400,000. Probably $400,000.

Well, however, could I pay you, kitty? I was thinking Cash App is what I have on my phone and you probably have it on your phone. Of course I have it on my phone. And a lot of people, like you could pay me, but you know what else you could do and a lot of people don't know. What? That one of the coolest things about Cash App is you can design your own debit card. Oh my God. Yeah.

You can also get exclusive savings on stuff. You're already buying like coffee, Boba, video games, and more. And if you're the type who loves concerts, your Cash App Card gets you early access to ticket sales for huge tours like Kendrick Lamar, Sizzah, Sabrina Carvinder. Finally, no need to worry about monthly chargers or minimum balance requirements. Take control of your money today with Cash App. If you're between 13 and 17, you can still sign up. Just ask your parent or guardian for help with your Cash App sponsored account. For a limited time, new Cash App customers over 18 years old can earn $10 if they use code.

That's Money 10 in their profile. Let's sign up and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. If you're 13 to 17 years old, request a sponsored account from a parent or guardian. Sign up the code. That's Money 10. $10 dropped into your account when you order and activate your cash-hap card and send $5 or more to a friend within your first 14 days. Terms App as a financial service platform, not a bank. Bank, banking service proprietor cash-out bank partners prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank.

Member FDIC, discounts, provided by CashUp, a blocking brand. Visit Cashap. Dot app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. Well, yeah, now that you're back, you're back in the state of California. But I have something to say, too. Okay. Will you go? Okay. Well, Marsh is, are you ready to pull anything up, Marcia?

Oh, well, you can Okay, okay How was Utah? It was, it was Not as relaxing as I expected I got I got sick Yeah, what the fuck

Oh, also did you see how fucked my face? We didn't even talk about my face You know the laser Last episode here, my face was swollen Yeah I have permanent scars now What the fuck? See the polyps

Oh, cutie, we're suing No, you can see them No, I can't see shit Can I be honest They just look like freckles Let me see No, I have these deep pits Now that I never have

What the fuck? They're all over. Yeah. They're like, oh, we'll come in and we'll see what we can do. And I'm like, okay. See what we can do. Be like, that's my face. I know.

I know. I'm just like, no, but it's bad. It's really bad. Like, I've never had, I never, luckily I've had acting my whole life. I've never had scars or pits and now I have a spit like they're all over my cheeks. To be honest, it's not that bad. Yeah, but it's really sucks for me. You can't tell.

I'm really sad. You can't tell though. Hopefully they'll fix it. You had every virus, I think, on planet. Yeah. So I got sick for about two weeks. And then I was good for like three days. And I was like, this is awesome.

And then I got, I had to get an emergency root canal. And then when they did that root canal. How did you know you needed a root canal? Oh, it was crazy. She called me and I told her. Yeah. I think you had a root canal. Dr.

Austin, MD. It was like I was getting this like pain that would radiate all the way down my neck. And I was like, what is how? I've never had pain like that in my life, which is crazy because I've had other root canals. So I don't know. And I go to the dentist The first dentist is like, oh yeah Like tooth number 10 is cracked or whatever

And I was like really? Okay Yeah What fuck's you cracking? I have bad I have really bad teeth To begin with And so I have a big filling back there And so he's like oh it's cracked

Come in tomorrow we'll replace it Remember this is when I called you. Yeah yeah I remember that It's like come in tomorrow We'll replace it I'm like okay the neck Like I leave him And I'm like I guess I'm gonna get it replaced tomorrow

My friend calls me And she's like hey my uncle can fit you in And I was like Oh well I already found someone I'm gonna get it replaced tomorrow And she was like we'll go get a second opinion because I already like pulled some strings to get my uncle and I was like okay great you know what a homie yeah she's great so I go you should get some nitrous from him yeah honestly so I go to him I'm just on the trade and he's he can't find anything oh oh he's like he's like he

tapy tap and then they do the cold test and then they do like bite down yeah he couldn't find the two like oh you're getting scammed yeah wow he was like he was like I can't find anything, you could have a bruised, like, dental bed. Apparently that can happen. Yeah. And I'm like, what the fuck? And so I was like, well, I shouldn't go get that tooth like pulled. Like, I'm confused. And then luckily, I had an appointment with an end of dauntus, which those guys specialize

in root canals. Like the pain was so bad, I couldn't drive. Like I'd have to pull over. So this was a third doctor. So third doctor. So the next day, because they didn't have one until Tuesday. This started on a Saturday of the pain. So then on Tuesday, I was like, well, let me go to the wisdom or the root canal specialist.

And so I go to the root canal specialist. and he tapy tap he's like huh it's not any of those teeth like weird he's like definitely tooth number 10 that was a scam like that guy was scamming you like yeah he was like definitely that tooth is fine but then he was like I have an idea and he hit a tooth up here and I shot up like so much pain like I was like oh my god like I literally shot up but he's like that's your tooth that's the one that needs a root canal and apparently teeth can like do different like even though all the pain was down here it was a tooth all the way up here was it a cavity um yeah so I I have super super bad teeth.

Like genetically? Like my parents, I hate this because people always get a little weird when I talk about it. Like I was a kid. I did not know. Like no one taught me to brush my teeth. Like that sounds crazy, but like I just wasn't raised. And no one, no one paid attention.

No one like I didn't floss my teeth or whatever. I didn't do that until like junior high when I had the wherewithal of like, you know. And by then I'd already had enough damage. I lost like, I had all my adult teeth by like 10 or something. And so by then, I think I had done too much damage. So then I was getting a lot of cavities. I have a lot of big fillings. And then those got bigger fillings.

And then I had a dentist scam me when I was 18 because I was getting off of insurance. Because I was leaving a bunch of holes. And they were like, you have 18 cavities. And I was like, oh. And then looking back, I was able to hunt my original x-ray. Looking back, I showed it to my dentist now because I trust my desk now. And he's like, you didn't need any of those. Oh.

Yeah. 18 cavities. 18 cavities. Because dentists will just scam you. She's right though that does happen. No, it's an insurance scam. It's a very common one that mostly affects poor people. Oh.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's like, dude, they do it. They do it to children. In Florida, this was a huge problem. Oh, it's fucked up. They would literally pull babies, like baby teeth at a time, like fucking 10 at a time and shit. It was crazy.

Yeah. I used, dude, I, when I first moved to L.A., a dentist tried to do it to me. And it was crazy because, like, I think my dentist growing up had a teeth fetish because whenever I would get in the chair she'd be like, oh, your teeth are. And she would like just really gas them up.

And I was like, oh. So this guy was like, oh, you got all kinds you've never had brazening you. You got all kinds of problems. And I was like, I'm going to get a second opinion. I went to another. I should have done that. And he was like, there's not one thing wrong

with your teeth. He was lying. I didn't even know there's a bunch of teeth pullers out there. Yeah. So my problem was, is once you get really big. They'll report big cavities. And once you get filling. What can happen is if you get any bacteria underneath that filling,

then it starts eating away at the root. And so that's why I've had four root canals now. So two of them, I mean, one of them is definitely just like, that one was like a real bad tooth since I was a kid. Like that one was fucked. Like, I think I got that big filling when I was like 13. Like it was bad. Those things are painful as shit, right?

But they're crazy. Yeah, root canals are absurd. So I got one. And what people don't know about root canals, you have to get them redone. What? Yeah. So you have to get them redone every once in a while.

I've never heard this. Yeah. So does it grow back? No. What happens is they didn't get all the like the meat out because essentially if you don't know what a root canal is, they cut your tooth. They cut your tooth so they can see the pulp is what it's called. Yeah. And then they fish out your pulp and it's crazy.

That's your nerve. And so when they fish that out, it's like the craziest pain you've ever felt in your life. And so. Yeah. but you feel it. You're like it's there. People go under for root canals now? Sometimes, yeah.

I'd go under for a room. Well, you know me. I won't do it. Yeah. And so, um, so they fish it out and then they put why, they clean it out and then they put wires down there in your roots.

And then they, you get a cap and yada yada. And then your tooth's fine. But the problem is is sometimes some meat is left there. And then your teeth still. That will get infected. Yeah. Your teeth look fantastic.

Yeah. Well, all back here is fillings. Like these teeth are crazy. Yeah. But nobody sees those. Yeah. It's fine.

It's fine. And then... You just can't chew any tin foil. Yeah, I just really struggle. So you have to get it done every... You have to get them redone every so often. Yeah. Like every 10 years.

I think the life is usually like 10. And what you should do, if you ever, if you can, if you have the ability to find an endodontist with a gentle wave machine, it's like the new tech. It uses sound waves to really clean out the roots. And so then there's like less likely a chance for reinfection. So these two root canals, over here got retreated like seven years ago.

No, seven years. It's such dramatic four, four years ago. And then so this one got redone, but when he was doing it, there was still pain over here. And so he did an x-ray and there was some infection. And so he redid this one. So I had a root canal on Tuesday, started antibiotics, and then had the second root canal on Friday. And then got off antibiotics on Monday, finally got my stomach back normal. and then got sick with what I have now.

Oh, my God. Because antibiotics lower your immune system. If you didn't have bad luck, you'd have no luck at all. Yeah, but it's lunar New Year just happened, so I still have, you know, I still have a chance. My year just started. Yeah, New Year New Year of the Flaming Horse. Yeah. That's right.

All right, well, since you've had a bunch of medical incidents that Austin would like to do Whitehead Care and over, I have the best white head camera story of all time. Hey, guys. Let me tell you about Harry's. It's a dependable razor that you can shave your nether region with or your face. Whatever, really. That's right. Very dependable.

And Will is shaving like a bald baby. That's right. All over his body. I use it on him. I want my nether region to be aerodynamic. Yeah. Yeah. The blade is good because it's got three angles. Yeah, and we use the foaming shave gel when I shave his body.

Harry's has been making the same razors for over 100 years. Wow. It's the heaviest razor handle ever. And it's made for metal. Never plastic! It's not plastic. Don't say it's plastic. It's designed to fit comfortably in your hand.

Heavier handle means more control and a luxurious feel. It's very important for me when I'm shaving wool. From the neck down. And let me tell you something about Harry's. Uh-huh. They don't just make razors. They make all sorts of shit. They do.

Grooming stuff. They make all sorts of, yeah. Body wash, grooming essentials, shave gel, and deodorant. Right? Yeah. Yeah.

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A travel cover to protect your blade on the go. Just had to harries.com slash fear to claim this offer. Okay. I'm ready for it. I know what it is. Good intro. Hopefully they don't rip it apart like my girly button. No, you will not rip it apart because he already knows what I'm going to talk about.

Brilliant. One of the best of all time. The day is today. Oh. February 22nd, 2026. Mm-hmm. Mexico is on fire. Yes.

The head of the largest cartel in Mexico. There's an operation with the Mexican army and the Federals. For those of you, that's the federal agents of Mexico. And for those of you,

he's saying yes when he's saying C. Yes, thank you. Yeah. Grazie. They try to do an extraction operation on, I believe his name is Micho. No se Puede. The head of the largest cartel.

They say that right. The operation goes south. They open fire. They kill the head of the largest cartel at Mexico. And if you don't know Mexico, these cartels are basically like fiefdoms. Yeah. Like they run entire.

Wait, who killed them? We did? The Mexican federal agents did. Oh, okay. The Mexican federal agents did. Oh, I'm surprised it wasn't freaking America's ass. Yeah. Okay, cool.

At least it wasn't us. The cartels themselves are, they don't they don't take kindly that sort of thing I mean this guy has literally been on the record he's like assassinated you know tried to assassinate

police chiefs there's a there's a phone conversation that he's had with a cop where he's like literally berating him and the cop is like I'm so sorry sir like he's like back off get your boys to back off from our boys like otherwise we're going to come

and kill your family we're going to kill your dogs all this stuff and the cop is like so apologetic like the level of power and influence these cartels have is insane Yeah. However, as you guys know, Mexico has a lot of tourists. Uh-huh. And a lot of tourists are now stuck.

The Guadalajara Airport is in a state of chaos. Flights are canceled. This is my nightmare. People can't leave their homes. People can't leave their hotels. March, I'm going to send you this tweet. Oh my gosh, this is terrifying. We've now set the scene.

Okay, the scene is sad. I think I sent it to him. Oh, you did? Okay. Amidst the panic of Mexican cartel violence and retribution that's taking up all the streets. They're lighting cars on fire. You know, the Mexican army is trying to fight back. There's one man in Weston, Puerto Vallarta.

Weston Hotel. A Weston Hotel. Under the Marriott umbrella. Wow. Portman owned by SB. Weston, Puerto Vallardo won't honor late checkout with streets closed. I saw this and I thought, Austin, are you in Puerto Vallardo? What the fuck is going on?

Because this man writes in the. subreddit for R slash Marriott. I am Platinum Elite. Over 1,000 lifetime Marriott nights. Porto Vallerta is on fire due to the cartel setting cars and buses on fire all over the city. The airport is closed and Uber's and taxis are not running. I asked for a 4 p.m. checkout, which I'm entitled to based on availability. They won't extend past 2 p.m. and said we would have to use the hospitality suite.

We are supposed to be leaving for Buceros this afternoon, but that isn't looking very good. Worst Bonvoy property I have ever experienced. I don't think anyone will be checking in today. So there's no reason not to at least extend us to 4 p.m. Now, here's the deal. Okay. I understand where this man's coming from. I, it pisses me off as a loyal ambassador to Marriott

when the hotel will not honor the 4 p.m. checkout. I check in at 11 or excuse me, I check in at four, check ins at 4, checkouts at 11. I paid for four fucking days in the hotel, not three and a half. This is bullshit. That's a really good point. You have availability in the goddamn hotel, right? Now, I will question

The Platinum Elite is not, I don't know why you're flexing that status. It's not exactly It's not, there's a few Platinum Elite. No, I'm Ambassador. It's a very So is Marsh actually as another fellow Marriott ambassador. Dear Bonvoy Marriott Yeah. Concerning a stay in New Orleans during the Katrina disaster

I was denied Lake Jack out. It's so funny to like, the streets are on fire! He took a photo of like literally clouds of smoke from random buses on fire. And he was like, I gotta go tell the boys at R slash Marriott about this one. Here's the deal.

Okay. I actually think that if anything, because the streets are on fire, you should probably honor the 4 p.m. late checkout. I don't even disagree with you. Where are you going to go? I don't even disagree with the situation. Like, with his plight. It's just really funny to try to.

to talk about it from the angle of bad customer service? I mean, he's not wrong. I mean, but at the end of the day, it's crazy to do that. At the end of the day, I think that really what this message is sending is capitalism never stops trying to turn a profit, even in the midst of a natural,

or not even a natural, but a disaster. Capitalism doesn't stop churning. And I want to make a point here. Oh, no, they were surge prices. Like all the other, I saw other complaints as well, not on the R slash Mary. Yes. Except for this one Westin. The other properties were fine, probably.

I will say this. And I noticed, I saw this comment. I saw it in your Discord because I was commenting on this live as it was happening. And somebody said, everyone is like locked in. They're like, where will the, will the cartels be purged? Like, what's about to happen? Is Claudia a shy bomb safe? And Austin is like, well, the hotel hospitality situation is pretty fucked up.

So I almost got deployed to Mexico to deal with this humanitarian crisis. That would have been passed. They paratroop in the fucking western Puerto Vallada in a helicopter. White had Karen. So here's the thing. What I noticed, I saw it in your Discord. Somebody in the chat said, I said, it's ridiculous that I check in at 4 p.m., but I have to check out at 11 a.m.

I'm paying for half days. And somebody responded in your chat, there's like, Austin, they need time to clean the rooms. And you know what I said to him? I said, look, chatter, you are sitting there allowing these corporations who they know they are using their employees as shields as shields to their profit maxing motives. Who set the expectation that those rooms need to be clean today? It's the capitalists who are trying to churn a profit. Right? This is very based. Just devil's advocate. Maybe they were just trying to push down on how many people were in the hotel

because the staff was having a really hard time getting past the blaming streets. No. Their family members are in a stand of peril. I don't believe that. I'm with you. Yeah, me too. Just like the alternative is it's bedlam

and they don't have the proper staffing. Okay. Just saying that could be an answer. I mean, actually, you know what? I didn't even consider that particular perspective. I actually didn't even consider that. That's a very, you enlighten me to the perspective. You know what?

This is out of fucking line. Let the record. You know, your daughter is then let him stay in the room. That's it. That's what I was saying. Yeah. That's what I was thinking. That's what I was really trying to express.

But chat. Chat. For those of you at home, there are going to be some people in there that are completely, they perhaps reside in a state of the Union, Nebraska in particular. I'm not actually serious. No. No, no. He didn't write this.

He wasn't in Porta Viata earlier. Right? I want to be very clear. Obviously, this is insanity. Okay? This is insanity. Obviously. I would never go to a Reddit thread to type about this.

I would call Zero and talk to the fucking manager directly and deal with it that way. That's a good point. I am not Platinum Elite. I'm an ambassador. A little embarrassing. If you're a platinum elite, he acquired lifetime platinum by being an ambassador for an extended period of time. and he has not been paying up recently. He's just trying to cash in on that lifetime platinum elite.

I had to call Austin for a white hat, Karen. You did. I had to call him because I ended up not doing anything about it. What? I know. What happened? This is how the capitalist keep in sporting you. When I was in Utah, when I was in Utah, I got my curtains redone.

Yes. And I was really excited. Well, I got curtain. We had no curtains. I got curtains like custom every window done. Are your family? No, my home. in L.A.

Oh. Like when I was in Utah, I was away. I was like home in Utah. Yeah. So to come back. I was, yeah. So then I come back and I walk in to my house in L.A.

And I'm stun locked instantly. And I know this is a crazy thing to like be upset about. But the curtains are like three shades darker than I picked out. No, that's a big deal. That's a huge deal. Yeah. It looked like.

Curtains are fucking expensive. Yeah. They were really expensive. The curtain is to like block out the sun. Isn't that better? The sun. So I picked out like a nice light. What is the point of the curtain?

It's to look good. And block out the sun. Simultaneous. I thought like, oh, free, more blocking. No. They gave me extra blocking. Essentially, I picked out a very light linen and I got a burlap. Yeah, it's a big mistake.

Which is just different. Oh, okay. So you were like, you were like a very light brown. Like a, yeah, very light tan. And it came in like dark. Burlap sack. Like oogie boogie. Was it a,

a quality of lesser material, too, or same quality? Same quality. Just wrong color. Okay, so you call in and you say, hey, you guys put up the wrong color. Yeah, so I send an email and I say, hey, I'm confused. I just got back. I'm super disappointed. This is not the color I picked out.

Right. And then they reply and they say, oh, I think it still looks great. That's crazy. Yeah. They didn't even deny it. They said, well, because a lot of times what they'll say is like, oh, sometimes it looks different in the room. Well, they were like, they were like, well, wait for the sun.

like, you know, because I got in at night and they're like, wait for the sun. Like you'll get used to it. Like if it's too dark, maybe we can, like, unfortunately, these were custom made. So maybe we could paint your house lighter and it would lighten up the room. Dead ass. They said that. And I was like, okay. And so then I replied and I said, okay.

Well, painting my house is not an acceptable answer here. When here is, here is my email from October with a picture of the shade that I picked out. And here is another example of the shade I picked out again here multiple times. This is October 2025, right? And they replied they were like, well, I thought you were going with the sample that I showed you in person in 2024. And I said, that doesn't make sense because I picked one out in 2025. And I sent you a picture of it.

And it's like from what you sent me and I literally cropped it. And there's like, so what are you talking about? They're like, well, there's like nothing we can do. Like we can all, we can replace them and all. cover half of the cost to replace them and you can cover the other half. And then. Yeah. So,

yeah. He's, she, I was thinking maybe this is like a mom and pop business and they can't afford it. And then she showed me the profit margin. It was like 400% that they marked up. And I was like, cutie,

they are paid for everything. Curtains, drapes are like, my aunt at one point got some curtains or drapes. I, I'm not shitting you. We're probably like $100,000. Yeah.

And that's not even. Yeah Because they were They were like 50 feet tall Or 40 feet tall For some grand Like ballroom type

But the son doesn't get it Because he's got Bette sheets Covering Yeah He's got Groment curtains Like what are we supposed to do

Why are you guys Donkid on my card They stop the light We're coming in Yeah Well they stop the light They surely do God they're tacky

Can't buy taste I didn't realize It was like that Filthy communist Yeah Yeah It was like I thought, you know, great, sweet, extra coverage on the lights. Yeah, no, I had to.

No, that's so. Okay. So how does this result? She was like, well, it looks different on every screen. And then I literally showed Austin. I was like, here's a screenshot of what they used. And here's a screenshot of what I chose. How different was it?

Oh, drastic. Like, insane. It was like the difference between that blue and that green, my green. They fucked up. They did fuck up. and they're panicking. They seemed to be panicking. They were very cool as a cucumber.

No, that they were panicking. Because even admitting it was a different color, you've given, like, if she goes to small claims court, they're dead. I could have.

But you, how did it resolve? What did you do? So I just, I just let, I just said, you paid him? No.

I said, you know what? Because I had a bunch of other projects with them too. Like they were going to redo my bathroom. Like I had thousands of dollars worth of project. I was going to do with them.

And I said, you know what? Let's end our relationship here. Oh. Thanks for the free curtains. No, I didn't get a refund. I know. I'm sorry. I just didn't know what to say.

And I'm in this peace era of my life. You should have had all your other stuff discounted at least. Because think about them. I just said, we're never going to work together again. And you know what? And they'll never make money from me and they will kick themselves. But you use that as leverage to get more. Yeah, but they probably gave you like old.

patterned burnt end curtains, they're like, ah, this bitch is a pushover. No, no, she's in a healing era. Don't lead into it.

No. I'm reading a self-help book. No, you heal by being better. I couldn't do it. I should have just given my email to Austin, which he did tell me.

You have to send me what you're going to send and then I just gave up. The American dream is is about getting one off on the corporation. Yes. I bent over and I took it, okay?

No. If you feel comfortable, I think sometimes you got to take it. If you feel comfortable, then that's good. I don't like them. Okay, that's not good. It's not good.

We need to do something about it. It's too late. Okay. Well, you know what? If you don't want to go to the company, perhaps we... We're not going to replace them. They were too expensive. Maybe insurance fraud.

Do you like them? No. But I'll get used to them. Can I see the photo? Where's the... I wonder... I pulled... I was showing stream that day I showed you, right?

Maybe I'll send you a picture. You sent me a... You got another story. I had so many stories. Well, we have Patreon. Oh, we got a picture? I don't have a, I don't have the picture. Okay.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, cuties home. Cudy's home. Plenty more behind the payroll. You won't believe it. Applebee's and Chili's, triple jippies. You didn't order it? All right. What the frick, Mark?

I do. Okay. Okay. Roll the tape. Will did say it's fine not to order it. But then you got me back in. You're right. I did get you back in.

And then I looked at the delivery time. I said 80 minutes because the closest one is like in Englewood. And so I'm out again. Sorry. When will you stop disappointing me? Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be trying the new Applebee's burger behind the paywall. Yes, we will.

Patreon.com slash fear end. Can we get a burger? In four minutes, Applebee's gets here. What? Shut the fuck off. You did not. Because I thought it would be funny and it was. Oh, what?

Yeah, I got it. They would come fast. This is the greatest podcast. Oh, my God. Fun.