Fear& - We're Going On Tour | Fear&

Episode Date: March 2, 2026

Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get 20% off with promo code FEAR at https://shopmando.com !Over 2.5 Million Butts Love TUSHY. Get 10% off TUSHY with the code FEAR at https://hellotushy.com/fear ✨WATCH THE SECOND HALF ON PATREON✨ Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/FearAnd 🎧 AUDIO PLATFORMS 🎧 🔊https://linktr.ee/fearand ❤️ follow Fear&! ❤️ Hasan: https://twitter.com/Hasanthehun Will: https://twitter.com/TheWillNeff QT: https://twitter.com/QTCinderella Austin: https://twitter.com/Austinontwitter Marche: https://twitter.com/Marche Fear&: https://twitter.com/FearAndPod Chapters - 00:00:00 - let him do a proper intro 00:02:02 - austin jumps ship to his other gay dad 00:04:04 - dont worry the bill has been handled 00:06:00 - why you all have religion wrong 00:08:56 - the pseudo girlypopnation of the week 00:13:24 - how to cheat on your significant another ft austin show 00:16:05 - Tushy 00:17:32 - rock bottom is a hard watch 00:20:32 - a second women has hit the timeline 00:22:36 - that was certainly an approach to take 00:27:03 - how would you handle your profile being leaked 00:30:00 - oh 00:30:52 - the glaad awards are next week 00:32:07 - Zocdoc 00:33:19 - heated rivalry talk needs to keep happening 00:37:30 - this is now a Jinkx Monsoon waiting room 00:38:00 - hasan piker is not allowed at the glaad awards 00:40:04 - chat give him some grace here or else 00:41:10 - what if we added heels 00:44:42 - Mando 00:46:07 - where the complex developed from 00:47:53 - are you okay. wait are we okay 00:49:56 - he knew he so knew 00:53:13 - we are going on tour yall 00:55:48 - the bird almost had it 00:57:52 - he has such a way with his words #hasanabi #qtcinderella #podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Did you go with Rubba Dub, Dub, thanks for the grub. Yeah, God, let's eat. No. That feels like a Ludwig. But he did like Dear God, which is not what. That's not. Dear God. That's Heavenly Father.

Yeah. Yeah, it's Dear Heavenly Father. Oh, you call him Heavenly Father. There's a very certain, like, way you have to open and end. Do you ever call him Heavenly Daddy? You're so fucking American with the Yeti. Hold on, hold on. The soda in the Yetty and the Miller High Life, with the Miller High Life hat, you are like.

If you don't let him do a proper intro, he's going to kill him. He's going to kill him. There's one thing he cares about. You're like a Midwestern. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode. Your favorite family is back. The Fear and Podcast.

Loki, I hope we're not their favorite family. I hope their family is their favorite family. I feel like we have a tremendous amount of dysfunction. And a lot of people in America have family dysfunction. And this is like... Yeah, but their favorite should still be their family. But some people... Some people think that we're...

No, make the argument. Why should we be their favorite? Because we're better than their family. I'll take it on. I'm just going to say it. Wow. Classic family dynamic. Gay dad that's never around.

Hey, I'm around. He's always around. Disfunctional mom. No, I'm a gay dad that can never get rid of. Sex icon. You don't think you're the mom. I think I'm the aunt. Okay.

Okay. Hassan is the mom. I'm the mom. His mom isn't an international terrorist. Are you saying you're an international terrorist? You've upgraded? I thought you were just like that. A local terrorist, personally.

Domestic. Oh, okay. Well, ladies and gentlemen, the family is back. That's right. And we have been having such a fabulous week. I, in particular, have been having a fabulous week because I decided to move from Hassan's house to Wills. That's correct.

Fun. And I've been staying at Wills the last two nights. That's correct. And it's been a fabulous experience. It's a great experience. Oh, boy. Now Hassan's going to fight for you. No.

You're not? Not even a little bit. You usually get phoma, though. Yeah. No. I was surprised by the amount of night terrors, Austin. You don't know about him? I'm learning for the first time.

We've just been hearing him scream in the night. Oh. Wait, what? Yeah, you just randomly. Christian would have told you. No, he was, I don't think. Well, you also found out you snore for the first time. Yes.

You didn't know you snored? No, I found out for the first time ever and it was devastating. Wait, that's so scary, Austin. No, because, no, wait. Sleep out. I know I've heard about this and I was thinking about getting a sleep test. Yes. I've actually been thinking about why you snore.

Why is that? Well, have you seen all the data about frequent flyer flying, destroying your sleep? Don't say that. That's his only thing he loves. That's like telling me that like Noah Kahn makes me want to kill myself. Yeah, there's a lot of new evidence that's come out that it like ages your face terribly because it's so dry. He's being evil. I'm not.

Don't listen to him. There's data. That's true. It's the radiation. My uncle did fly every day and he died. It's true. No, it's flight radiation. Flight-related radiation poisoning will literally cause long-term debilitating effects.

It also destroys your circadian rhythm. But he's fine. I don't think he's fine. I think he's snoring. It's like the first step to having aging skin. Radiation exposure from 20 years of, wait, hold on, what does that say? It's really, I just give 225 different cancers. After 20 years.

After I've been flying for at least 10 consistently. Yeah, you got another five in you. I think he flies more than any. Yeah, you got another 10 in you. No, you fly the same as a pilot. They always fly. My uncle died in his 50s. Of what?

Remember? You were there. I wasn't there when he died. No. Well, I was there. Oh, when you got the call. Yeah, that was a lucky. We were there.

Yeah, you were there. And by the way, I don't worry about the bill. I took care of it. I just want to. I think I offered to pay. No. but we took care of it. I just want to let you know.

I was a little distraught. That that. I did offer to pay. No, no, you didn't. And I just want to let you know. Oh my God, I feel bad. No, no, no. Oh my God, I didn't.

No, that burden. Wait, I'm so sorry. Release from you. I just, I want to let you know. No. How much is it? No, I know, it was like $150. Don't worry about it, though.

Don't worry. No, please don't. Please don't pay. No. Every time one of your family members dies, you get one free dinner. Yeah, of course. Okay. Yeah.

Up to a limit. Can I go backwards? You got a punch car like a subway. If you get 10, you get the last one free. But do I get post? Like do I get, does it start now or do I get post? Well, I mean starting now. I'll buy you dinner for your dad.

Yeah. Yeah. Also, she has such a, bro, she has such a big family. This is a trap. I do have such a big family. She had like 40. Mormons. Yeah.

Yeah. She's got like 40 cousins. That's dinner for life. They're all Mormons. So they're like fine. They live forever. They live. They don't drink, they don't smoke.

Yeah. Yeah. They meditate every day. You still got that pimple patch on. I got still hoping against hope. I, yeah, I do. You know, I was with my family and they, you know, we have to say prayer before dinner. And for some reason, my sister-in-law picked Ludwig to say prayer.

Oh. How did that go? She thought it was funny. And, but I feel like a funny prayer is not really very kosher in Norman house. It's usually not. So I was surprised by it. And if you don't know. Did you go with Rubba Dub, Dub, thanks for the grub,

yay God, let's eat. No. That feels like a Ludwig. But he did like Dear God, which is not what. That's not. Dear God. It's Heavenly Father. Yeah.

It's Dear Heavenly Father. Oh, you call him Heavenly Father. There's a very certain way you have to open and end. Do you ever call him Heavenly Daddy? Me? I have. No, I've got a whole new take on religion. Okay.

Got a whole new perspective on religion. Would you? Okay, Martin Luther. What's up? Come in. Give us the whole new perspective. I think everybody's got religion wrong. Okay.

Jesus died on the cross, nailed to it viciously. Right. Blood, everything, the whole shebang. Yeah. Gory. I'm nervous. He's watching right now. Well, he's not going to forgive that.

You know what I mean? That was gay as hell. No, I'm sure. He knows, but I think he agrees with me. This is not a Christian thing. That seems more devilish. No. Yeah, you did just give him the horns.

Oh, the horns. Let me, let me talk. Okay. Save it. Yeah. Hold on. do this just so you know. Is that right? Are you doing it right? Of course. No, you make a cross. Father's son, Holy Spirit. Yeah, you're out of living. Anyway,

regardless. All right. I believe that we got it all wrong. Jesus died a horrific death. He suffered a lot. Right. So that we could fucking have a good time. Yeah, he died for your sins. Yes, exactly. So what the fuck are we all stressed about? You know what I mean? That's one way to look at it. I mean, from that perspective, the prospect of eternal damnation. Damnation, shmabnation. He died for us. You don't believe that. He died for us. I know deep down you're terrified of hell. No, no, no. Well, yes, of course. Yeah. But just like that, a new schism has opened. No, no, no, here's the deal. Like, this is what, this is what kills me in the church. Okay, Catholics. And I can say I have to pass because I'm Catholic. Um, no, not anymore. Well, with that out of it used to me. I'm, I'm,

I'm saying, no, after after. your blasphemy. Well, anyway, I'm sure I'll just go to confessional. I still have a cold. So, Catholics do this thing called Lent. Right? And I just don't understand. Jesus gave up so much.

Right. It's like a cheap thing. It's like, so Jesus dies on the cross, goes through the desert for whatever days, and we're giving up carbs. And that's our like, it's just like, just fucking don't do anything at that point. You know what I'm saying?

Right. That was my effort. Good. I like that. I like that. You're being a contrarian. Thank you. I like that.

Thank you so much. I'm doing my best. You know, but sometimes it's important for us not to give in to things. You're a modern theological. Yeah. Thank you. I have the funniest update.

And I don't know if you guys are into this at all. I'm into it. I'm going to be into it. It's kind of a pseudo-girlty population. Okay. Okay. I'm ready. You guys,

I told you about... Unless it's you bashing the New York Jets again, which case I'm out. No, I became weirdly protective of the New York Jets. Yeah, they're great. All right. Keep going.

Ever since that one boy said he wanted to kill himself because he was a fan of them. I liked that energy. Well, we got it. We got bushels of that. I identify with the suicidal ideation of a fandom. That's awesome. Okay, you guys, I told you about like the tri-guise cheating scandal forever ago, right? Oh, I know the story.

I have so many updates. This is like, it's been a weird week. Who cheated on who? Okay. So the tri-guer were four guys. Okay. In case you don't remember, here's, you know. I think we covered this two days ago.

Yeah, your coworkers, by the way. Yeah. Yeah. My bosses. Yeah. And I, I filmed with them with Will. Yeah. That's so funny.

I used to love, like, like when people talk about being into YouTube, I was never into YouTube growing up, like at all. The only time I looked forward to uploads was the tri-guise. Isn't that funny? Now you know, it was the Mormons. Yeah, it was the Mormon. That was the target audience for all that. I can tell you, three of them are very nice people.

Yeah. I'm scared. Three. Well, I was, you know, maybe you can be, you can cheat on your wife and be nice. Who knows? I don't know. But so there's four guys.

So there's Eugene. He is incredible in my opinion. Hopefully. Yeah, he's the hot, like, gay one. He's a fucking icon. He's incredible. Keith, he's like the funny one. He's the goofy tall one.

Okay. Ned, he's the wife guy. Okay. Obsessed with his wife. Oh, formerly. Was, yeah. Okay. And then Zach.

He lost his thing. Yeah, he did lose his thing. Zach. He just. the guy now. Okay. Zach was also the funny guy, but like, no, Zach's funny, funny guy. He's goofy. Oh, okay. I like that. Okay. Okay. Okay. So they would do content where they would try things, yada yada yada and essentially whenever Ned could, he'd bring up his goddamn wife. Like to the point that it was

like annoying. Like we're making cakes as a challenge and he'd like, I made my wife's favorite strawberry cake. And it was like, shut up. Yeah. Yeah. Obsessed with his wife. Okay. They have a kid. They even do a cookbook, which is funny because like they don't know how to fucking cook. Anyway, I hate when people do cookbooks and they don't know how to fucking cook. I feel like you're gatekeeping a little bit. Cooking? That's why I make a

cookbook is to let other people cook. But if you don't know how fucking cookbook, because I'm tired. Well, what if it's on my list? It's been on my list. Kitty's cookbook sounds great. But what if what if I just wanted to make, we'll call it Austin shows my shitty little cookbook? Yeah.

And it's just a shit. And it's a bottom friendly cook. shitty little shitty little cookbook and it's a bottom friendly diet and it's a bottom friendly diet fucking rice it's like

it's just it's just two covers in one page in the middle that says rice brown not too much though because then it's too much fiber no

no but you just have to eat fiber consistently so that you you get it blow it out knows what he's talking I do I'm a professional I'm sorry we don't As long as your cookbook is true to you, you can have a cookbook. Okay, you guys, you know, like you make one of sandwiches with chips on it and like.

What if Ned's cookbook was true to his wife? Maybe it was. Maybe I just didn't know his wife enough. Maybe it was, maybe I'm being a hater. As someone who knows his wife, she was fabulous. And she can cook. She's the nicest human. Okay, so who cheated on who?

Okay, so Ned, the wife guy cheats on her. Oh, God. Okay. In what way? How did he, like, how did he cheat on her? I think sexually. Publicly. Yeah, sexually and publicly.

Okay. Okay, do you want me to fill this blank? Yeah, that's fine. He got caught in kind of like a compromised position with his producer. Missionary or? No, no, no, no. Like grinding at a nightclub. Yes.

With his producer at a nightclub, which was a double niche niche because he was cheating, but also he was that person's superior at Tri-Gi-Gi-Gi-Gas. Which was a, it was a double niche. Which is why we keep telling you you can't be with Marsh. Yeah, well, I've been trying to. I've been trying to fuck Marsh for the entire time. But now that I'm having sex with him. Now that I...

Oh. Oh. Really? Now Austin's jealous. I didn't know who's topping who? Reverse. That's another verse. Anyway.

All right. Okay. Anyway. So yeah. So public cheating and they have to address it. They kick net off the try guys. Eugene's mad because Eugene was going to leave the try guys because... It's also a little bit better for Randy, though, because like try guys.

And it's like try three. You know what I mean? I suppose. But also like he tried cheating on his wife. They didn't give him credit for that. Dude, that would have been awesome if they went right into a video. They should have. Yeah, we tried cheating.

And then all three of up, the other three are like, can't do it, can't do it, can't do it. He's like, look, I'll do it. Eugene's like, I'm gay. Yeah. What? Can I just say something? Yeah. If you're going to cheat, don't cheat.

But why the fuck are all these people cheating in public? I don't know. I think the thrill of it. I guess, but like Jesus Christ, your face. What are you doing? Self-destructive behavior. Like, don't cheat. First of all, don't cheat.

Austin, I've noticed something. Austin always gives advice the cheaters on how to better cheat. Whenever cheating comes up, he's like, guys. Hypothetically, Austin. Like, I'm going to say don't cheat. I'm like, look, I'm not. I'm not. I've never, no, don't cheat.

Don't do it. But. However. Don't do it in a Google dog. Yeah, don't do it in public. Like, come the fuck on. I'm attacked. Yeah, fucking sneak in and out of hotel rooms.

All right. You know what I mean? So why it's not home for the weekend? Why are you giving advice to people on how to cheat? I'm just saying there's a very clear blueprint on how to cheat and that's not it. And I'm saying don't fucking do it. All his icons from the 50s and 60s. Now Frank Sinatra, that's a guy who could fuck around his wife.

I'm just saying if you wanted to murder somebody, why do you think they called him the rat pack? Yeah. Like if you wanted to kill somebody, cutie, I'd probably be like, cutie, don't do it in public. Well, yeah, but the thing is, is murder is illegal and cheating isn't. That's the advice. Yeah. If Cudy Cinderella approaches you says, Austin, I need to assassinate someone. You said, don't do it in public.

I'd say, cutie, if you're going to do it and I can't stop you, just don't get, just don't do it in public. I'm the Uber murderer. I already told you guys how I'm doing it. Exactly. See, there you go. That's clever. It's not. Why?

Because it's so traceable. Yeah, but they won't know which. They don't know. They don't know. Qudy be the Uber murderer. Let me be it. The Uber eats murder. I'm the Uber eats murderer.

They say, oh, did she eat them up again? Yeah. And I'm watching the news and I'm like, that was me, that was me, that was me. Yep, that's it. Okay. So, moving on. He cheats on his wife. Don't cheat on your wife.

Okay. And then. But if you're going to do it. The try guys kick him off. They kick him off the trying. They say, no more trying for you. And then Eugene leaves anyway and then respectfully. Anyway.

Yeah. Love Keith and Zach, though. They did their best with what they could. could. So then it's very, very public. Everyone's mad because he's the wife guy. If he wasn't the wife guy, I don't know if we'd care that much. People cheat all the time and we're just like bastard, but he's the wife guy. Like get like projection 101, you know? Yeah. So then they have to do like a public statement about him leaving. He leaves. He goes silent off social media forever until he came back like a few months ago with a podcast. Oh, the cheater? Rocked bottom.

Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. The sound you make while water is drip, drip, drip, dripping down your booty cheeks. Wow. Yes, that's right. I tell you what, Hassan, I have been using my new Tushy. Damn! Bade!

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That's 10% off your first bidet order at hello tushy.com with promo code fear. Oh, you haven't heard about this? Yeah, and the first episode is with his ex-wife. I'm not going to lie. This is a, it's a hard watch. It's a hard. Wait, pull it up. Wait, he brings his ex-wife on?

It's a hard watch. It's awesome. Because she reads him to filth. Yeah. And he just sits there. And it got 1.3 million videos. Yeah, that's why he did it. Oh, my God.

Oh, no. Come on, pull it up. No, we can't watch the whole episode. I want to see like bits and pieces. Oh, no. Oh, he looks pathetic. Oh, my foot was asleep. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Ned? All right, I get to like a highlighted moment. Is there? Yeah, where's the, oh, it doesn't have the bar graph. That's funny. Or the, you know, together. We're going to the same place.

And so we get in the car and we were driving there. And. Is my. It's a. It's a refurb. It's a refreshing place to be. It's so great. What?

I've been I've been hurting this person that I love this whole time. You didn't realize until then? Well, you know, but then there's other things you tell yourself to kind of sort of

compartmental. Okay. Hold on. First of all, you're cheating in public. Austin, I'm going to be honest. I feel like that's how you would respond. Stop. No. You think that's a hard?

You know. He would do the Try Guys cheating episode. I would never cheat. I would never cheat. Christian, I would never cheat on you. In public. In public. Awesome.

You're kind of in a relationship where that would be hard to do. To cheat. Yeah. It would be really difficult. In my defense, it would be very difficult to cheat in my relationship. Considering there's, Not, you know what I mean? It'd be weird.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd have to try hard. Yeah, very much. Try hard, right? But anyway, you know. You'd have to try guys. First of all, I want to make a statement here. Oh.

What a piece of shit for doing that to us. Wow. Wow. Okay. Five months late, but great. No, it's not even five months late. It's five years late. I don't want people to misconstrue the fact that I'm telling him he was a bad cheater.

Like, all cheaters are bad. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. You're a shitty person. regardless, I'm just saying you're bad at it. There's bad murderers, right? There's bad serial killers.

You know what I mean? They're all bad, right? I'm digging myself into a whole year. You know what I mean? They're all bad, right? Just like, you know? I don't know. Martha Stewart cheated on her husband and she's an icon, so I don't care.

That's because when women cheat, it's cool. I'm just kidding. It's not. Okay. So that was that, right? That's the last we really heard of Ned. Until recently, this guy found a Snapchat memory.

He found a Snapchat memory and posted it on TikTok and it got like 7 million views and it's Ned cheating with a different woman. No! Yeah, a different fucking woman. And the problem with this is it was at a club. I don't know why the try guys are

clubbing so much, like is my first question. And also, they're not really like a club. Not to pull in Austin, but like why is he always cheating at the club? I don't know. It's so weird. Now finally somebody gets it. Cheat in a hotel room. At that point, you're like begging to be caught, right?

Yeah. So, so like someone records on their Snapchat. She's like snuggling on him, right? And the problem is, is in the background, you can see the other tri guys far away in the club. And so people are mad at the other tri guys being like, they knew, they knew, they knew. And then Keith had to post something and was like, we didn't know. Yes, we were far away. Like, we, like, we did not know he was grinding on some girl, you know.

So, and I believe him, so whatever. But as a part of this resurgence, Ned, Ned Fulmer's, um, Beldco is dating profile got hacked. Oh, no. Yeah. And if you don't, I feel, I feel bad about this, though, because it is like a level of doxing. But the way that Ned handled it is, I think is what is crazy. Because then the reason that we are allowed to talk about it is in an individual.

attempt to reclaim his agency after his dating profile had been leaked, he self-posted and critiqued all of the photos on his dating portfolio or profile and, well, to mixed reviews, I would say. Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm going to take a controversial on this. Ned is a very strong man, a much stronger man than I, because I would have killed myself at that point. That's crazy.

So he said apparently somebody docks my Feldko profile saves me at $30 a month. I truly give zero fucks and invite you to roast it, especially BB Rexa. And then he linked photographs. So I guess, you know, here's the first one. For the record, Feldco, this is for the curious. So often like Domy is looking for subs or. Sub he's looking for Dom. Yes, Dom leading switch looking for a brady sub.

Oh. Oh. Yeah? Oh, he put the NFJ. Oh, that's humiliating. And then if you scroll up, it's interesting because he gives context on the photos that we didn't need. Is he gay? No.

Oh. Can you zoom in? I can't read. He said, like the dog, bio could be better. He says, I'm single, live alone in a gorgeous home in Silver Lake. Maybe you'll be lucky enough to see it someday, winky face. Oh, no. Yeah, I see that.

I'm like, I'm trying to fuck this guy. It says, it says nice fit. Mask is fun. Great view was a photo shoot with Ariel for our dating profiles at a school fundraiser. But nobody needs to know that, which is really weird because Ariel's his ex. Love this one. I tried kite surfing in Greece this summer. Little goofy shows something extreme.

He gives it a six out of ten. Hulk costume Halloween 2022. When I was in treatment, stress, anxiety, depression. had my weight down to 155, which is way too low. 170 is better, but my abs look to find and I'm painted green. Not the four-hour, four-year-old picture. Yeah, uh-huh. Hot tub, Mountain Man, I don't know.

Probably should delete this one, but the sunset was nice. Not the Austin Powers chest hair. Yeah. Girl, baby, very good. This one's nuts and way too cost me from the air is tore, but the beard was strong and whatever. I'm a single dad on a dating app out here living my life. 24.

We had kids? Wedding. He's wearing a wedding ring. Um, but hey. He had kids? It's Felcoe half the people are Pauli. You didn't tell me that. Follow me.

She did. More divorced dad on his energy or whatever. Oh, she did. I don't care. Hope this gave you a laugh. I want to know who the Ned writers are, like right now. Can we look at the replies a little bit? Like, is there anyone in there?

No, I don't think there's anyone nice. Keep going, Ned. Like, who are the people that like the post that were like? No. Hassan, you have to understand. is not sufficiently right wing enough to have that type of audience. True. Oh my God.

You're so right. Why didn't he pivot? Yeah. If he would be in a right winger and he would have pivoted and grifted to the right, he would have a fucking huge opportunity to, to, they're so stupid. Yeah,

they love, they love cheating men. As long as it's at the expense of women, Republicans will go. That's true. How did this make you feel? How do you want to read this? I don't know.

He just, he posted. There's a power and not giving a fuck. Do I wish my kinky dating profile had not been leaked? Yes, of course. Given it was, am I grateful I can now just be myself? Yes, absolutely. Wasn't he just being himself anyway before the profile leaked though?

So it kind of feels like he is giving a fuck. Well, look, I think at this point, this guy is just, it's too far gone. He clearly has no idea how to manage a crisis. What would you do in that situation? First of all, you don't fucking cheat to begin with. And if you're going to do it. You do it in private. I think you're supposed to do it in public, is what I gather.

First of all, this is what you do. You go to your wife and you say, wife, look. Can I cheat? No, you don't ask it for permission. You just say, look, if you're going to cheat, end the marriage. If you're not happy and you say, can we spice things up? And if she says no, say, uh-oh, I'm missing that. Cheating is never the answer.

Communication is key. All right? Don't cheat at all. Right. And by the way, I just want to make everybody clear, I am firmly against cheating. Brave. Firmly. Here at the Fearad podcast, I and my fellow co-host are firmly against cheating.

And we do not take our advice to those who cheat poorly as a... What? We don't take our advice to cheat. We told them not to cheat. Don't cheat. But I'm just saying, don't do it. But like, how fucking stupid to do it in public? Especially in public.

Yeah, right. Especially in public. Right. Yeah. So I guess, I mean, I guess my... My takeaway is how would you handle your kinky sub-dommie looking for a brady sub dating profile be leaked? Yeah.

Pivot right wing. Pivot to the right. You'd pivot right wing? Okay. That's how I do it too. Yeah, I'd pivot to the right. Good to know. Yeah, because the right wing is, that's what they do.

They cheat on their wives and then they brag about it. Personally, I would get a job in like finance or something. I would, yeah, I'd probably become a commercial airline pilot. Yeah, I'm like, that is my shock here is like, I fear that sometimes, some people don't know when to walk away. Oh. From like content creation. Not everyone needs to be a content creator.

Real. And I think sometimes when you like, you got to cut your losses. You got to cut your losses. Especially when it gets to this level. Or even just cut your losses longer. Like I know it's been a few years since he cheated, but like he came back like two years later.

Yeah. And it's kind of like brother. Like you need to like. He's a smart guy. He's an Ivy League educated. Yeah. He's very smart. I think we're measuring...

Not smart enough to cheat in private, though. I think we're measuring intelligence off of one category. Right. I think there's levels of intelligence. Ivy League is usually a pretty good indicator. Yeah, me too. I think so. Okay.

Clearly fucking... Clearly fucking not. Did you get in the Ivy League? No, I didn't, but I would have handled that a lot better. I wouldn't have cheated. There you go. Boom. Turns out...

You are in, like, an open relationship. I'm not in an open relationship. He's in a communicative open option. No, no, I'm not in an open relationship. He's in an... What was the last thing we talked about before we turned on the camera? It's not open.

The last thing. It's not open. The very last topic. You have to give permission. Open would mean you could be with anyone, right? Fuck one guest if he came on the podcast. Oh. Okay.

We're trying to get Harry Styles. First of all, Harry Styles is a straight man and I would never have sex. I wasn't going to mention who it was. Harry Styles, if you want to come on the podcast, we can talk. I said if I had to get Harry Styles on the podcast,

on the podcast, I'd sleep with him. If we all have to do something for Harry Styles. If you want to come on the podcast, Harry Styles, and I know you really want to, you have to fuck off. No, that's not, though. That is not the barrier to entry. Sorry, Harry Schiles. Shouldn't it be a requirement.

I'm open to it. Right? That's what I'm trying to say. It's not limit ourselves. No. We get it, awesome. But for the record, I keep my relationship very private, and it's not open.

Okay, it's not open. So for those of you who are trying to sleep with me, unless you're Harry Styles. Yeah, it's not appropriate. We'll consider it. Not allowed. Not allowed. Yeah.

Because you're not looking for a bratty. You can follow me on Instagram, Harry Styles. No, I'm not looking for a brat. Would you quit eating the goddamn popcorn? QT. Cinderella like the princess. No more popcorn for you. Instagram.

You've eaten enough today. That's really mean. Well, actually, hold on. Yeah, that's not nice. Hold on. No, no, no. I'm telling Caleb that you're fat shaming me. No, I'm not fat shaming you at all.

You're not fat. You look great. Caleb, I hope you see this. You look fantastic. You look fantastic. Um, who else has a time? They'd like to talk. We haven't bombed Iran yet.

Okay. Which is good. Right. And, uh, yeah. I don't want to bomb anybody. I don't want to buy Iran. I don't think that's how it works, unfortunately. I think it should.

I think if American Idol, we could vote from our phones. I think we should be able to do that about bombings. Oh my God. I think we would bomb every country. Oh. Americans like that. Oh. Americans like just, just for the thrill of it.

Man, I'm not a good American. You know, it's like they say. And I ran. I ran so far away. Wow, that was beautiful. What the hell are you talking about? Couldn't get away. Oh.

It's a song. That's right. That's right. Well, um, listen to music. Next week, Will and I are hosting the Glad Awards. Yeah. So exciting. That's right.

We are interviewing gays. And speaking of gays, the cast of heated rivalry will be there. And Austin got a favorite. A fantastic. Yeah. We're going to ask him to be on. Yes. Can you ask them for like anything at all?

Like a lock of hair? I'm trying. What? I don't know. I'm not going to ask them for a lock of hair. I'm going to come on our podcast. Many people. For what you guys think I am to Taylor Swift, I am to.

He did. Yeah. I'm like obsessed with them. Have you seen it? Yes. I saw it and I've consumed all of their TikTok. What did you think of the sex scenes? Wait.

Oh my God. Are you a yowie girl? Yowie girl. What does that mean? Vajoshi. Right? What is yowie? I don't know.

Are you into boy love? Oh. You like boy? I'm just into love. Oh. She's a yowl. They had a very convincing love story. We just got fucking woked.

Oh my God. I'm woke. I did it. You did it. Take that TikTok. The term is for Joshi, I think. Fajoshi, okay. Did you like, you just like love?

I just like love and they did so good. You watched the last episode of you freaking kicking your feet. Right. Did you watch it? No. Oh my, this is me. I did. I did.

Wow. Oh, dude. Let's just go for a six. Escher! Oh, my God. Well, I think I'm sick. Oh, my God, Will, we need to get you to a doctor. We got to call a doctor.

Doctor! We got to get to a doctor. It's an ancient disease. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Will, no. Quit attacking us. You need to go see a doctor. But I can.

I live in the United States. I know. With the help of Zok-Nock, we can help you find a doctor that's in network. Hold it down again. Oh, yeah, God. Kill me. Kill me.

I'm telling you. Doc Doc. With Zogdoch. Stop putting off those doctors appointments to go to Zococococ.com slash fear. That's right. find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. The DOC.

DOC.com slash fear. This message is sponsored by Zock Doc. Oh my goodness. That's you in your episode? Yeah, that's me, episode six. Wow. And it was, did you, so that, I take it, you enjoyed it. I had a bad take the first two episodes.

What was your bad thing? Because I don't like, I don't like heavy sex. I don't give a fuck for Bridgeton's sex scenes. I watch Bridgeton because nothing was. else is on, number one. And number two, I like the design. Like, I love the outfits and I love the, oh, Victorian. Pretty. Yeah, and the lilacs outside on the house. So pretty. Anyway, so that's why I watch Bridgeton. I think the sex is lame. And so season or episode one and two, it is, it's like bad. No, I'm just funny. You're like, sex is lame in general. Well, no,

if I'm going to watch like sex scenes, I'm going to fucking, you know, I'm going to watch like. I don't know what I'm going to watch that statement. Yeah. I'm just, What would you watch if you're trying to watch a sex scene? Hmm. I know what you mean. I call it the filter. I think the reason why the first two episodes is heavy on the sex is so that they just like kind of get you ready for, you know, sex happening later down. Yeah.

Spiratically in the different episodes. But like the first two episodes are very. My dad loves hockey. So I was like, let's watch this together. And I didn't. Just kidding. I didn't. I started watching it with my dad.

Yeah, it's homosexual. It's not, there's not as much hockey as you would think. No. Based on everyone talking about it. No. They're playing with different things. So my, my first take was it was just like.

You liked that someone. Such a fucking idiot. My first take was episode one and two was like, it was just not enough. I didn't feel connected yet because they also, if you watch it, they did like jumps. It was like all of a sudden it was a year later and then a year later. And I'm like, where are we? Yeah. Like, I couldn't understand, but then you get in episode three, and then he meet the guy, the other guy, and then he comes out public.

And then he's just, and he's just being himself. And then he's just being himself. And then he's like, so. And he goes to his dad and he tries. And oh, my God, it's just so good. Austin didn't watch it because he thought the gay sex was too, what was the term you used, gosh? Gosh. I don't even know what that word means. Wait, what that way?

Was it like boring sex? I love gosh. It means tacky. Yeah. No, no, I don't. Taylor Swift's song. You keep quoting Taylor Swift lately. Do you know that?

We really? You said clandestine last week. And she owns all words. That's a clandestine operator. Wait, what is that? That's the Candacee Owens. I call myself a clandestine operator. Oh.

I thought you were quoting in Taylor Swift's song. So. First of all, Hassan has tried to spread this rumor about me that I was fucking with him because I said the gay sex is too much. You're so embarrassed about your take about heated rivalry. You're worried you're going to get excommunicated by the gay. So wait, what kind of sex did you want?

No, no, I'm fine with the sex in the scene. In fact, I thought it could be, I thought there could have been more nudity. Oh, okay.

Oh, we did not really, we only saw one penis. Oh. I think we need to release more penises into the media. Yeah. I don't know why we're, was the penis flaccid?

No. Hard. And it was just a text, though. Oh. I do, I do believe that, I think we should have seen more penis.

We need to free the penis and vaginas in media. I don't think. Why are we hiding them? We all have them. Because there's one point where the boys are in the shower and one of them's like jerking off to the other one. Oh my goodness. Like, and this is when they're just like flirting. And he like turns and he's like stroking it. And then you don't get to see the penis. And it was like, I was kind of curious.

Anybody else? I mean, yeah. I mean, I think. You were curious. You wanted to see it. I of course I did. Austin didn't watch the show because he thought the gay sex was too tag. No, no, no.

You have to get to episode six. Yeah. I mean, I... How long is it business we got this conversation? You've yet to watch Heated Rivalry. I am busy. You have to... I understand your take from one and two,

but once you get to episode six. No, no. You couldn't make it to episode three. You gotta go to the cottage. I will tell you this. By next episode, I will have watched all of Heated Rivalry. Because I finally have a weekend to myself.

And you have to get ready to talk to them. Yes, and I'm going to be at the Glad Awards. And we're going to have chat announcement here. Jinks Monsoon is on the podcast next. week. So after this episode, we are, we will have Jinks monsoon after this episode. She'll be on the pot next week. And we're going to have her on.

And then she and I and Will will all be going to the Glad Awards. And Austin got a fantastic outfit for the Glad Awards. Oh, yes. Do you have a picture? Well, I don't really have a, maybe I do. I'll look at it. Let me look for it. But I went into Gucci.

All right. Here is what my outfit looks like. I'm scared to look at you. Free scrolling. I'm going to send it to you. But I don't really have like a good picture of me. You have to give me. in the outfit, so I'm going to

just send you one without my face in it. Okay. Let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, I look at awesome. awesome. Awesome, I have another question for you about the glad awards. Yes, go ahead. Is it true that you told the glad awards that I could not attend the glad awards?

Yes, I did. That's awesome. I, I, I, I told the glad awards. I said, Hassan Piker is not allowed at the glad awards because I cannot allow him to steal my thunder. You would steal his thunder. You did what? I said that event is for Will Nathani.

And I cannot allow. What time is the Gladys Awards? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not telling you the time. You're not allowed. Wait, can I go? Yeah, you could go. Wait, so I'm not a threat.

No, it's not that you guys are. I would make it about me. No, I know. It's not about, it's not that you guys are a threat, aren't a threat, okay? It's just you guys, he doesn't know how to elevate me. I could elevate you. Yeah, yeah.

It's being filmed on Wednesday. You're a succubis. No, yeah. Thursday. That was our problem. Okay. Yeah. We've been having Wednesday, Thursday problems.

You're not going to, you need a ticket and they're all sold out. I'm going to. They're all gone, Hassan. I'm going to the fucking glat. No, you are not. March and I are going to the Gladys. You are not going to the Gladys. I guess you could say it's become a heated rivalry.

No. No. I don't want to see you guys in that movie. I'm just letting you know that I am refusing to interview you on the red carpet. You will get no press for me. I'll get, I'll get interview. Well, you know what, Marsh, maybe we can rip our livesroom on our own.

Okay, Mars, I said it to you, but it's not tailored yet. The outfit's not tailored yet. You have to give me, you know, you have to give me some. I'm going to go ahead and ask the Glad Awards if I can do a red carpet. Maybe Will might want to. You're dastry. Okay, so here's the album. You have to give me a.

Listen. Listen, don't do that. Buy me an outfit and I'm yours. Easy. Easy. Okay. Look, you have to give me some grays here because it's not tailored. Uh-huh.

It looks beautiful. Wait, I'm confused. Is there no jacket? No, I'm going, I'm having a custom silk tank top made underneath it of the same color. Okay. That helps me because I think respectfully. That looks like you're wearing your dad's shirt. It's a little boring.

Yeah, because it needs to be tailored. Well, no, like, have you seen, like, you need like a... Guys, leave them alone. Okay. I spent five grand of that guy. Leave him alone. It's okay. I just feel like the Glad Awards is the one time that you can be a little like.

Now we have a budget for me and those. No, you guys are going to give them a complex. No, it's good. Sorry. Austin, it looks fabulous. I think you should be shirtless underneath or something. You're going to look so handsome. Look what you did.

No, it's good. No, it's good. No, we're a family. I need you two to take ownership. You traumatized our little gay boy. You don't think I'm going to look good. You're going to look fabulous. Tell him he's going to look fabulous.

Tell him. You're going to look fabulous. Thank you. And you. You're going to look really good. It didn't seem convincing. You're going to look good. It's just, it's just, I just want more from you.

You want more? I spent five grand. What else can I do? I want like a matching top hat or something. A fucking top hat. Something. What is he fucking Willie Warren? Like wear heels or something.

Like, do something a little out of the box. Heels. The Glado Awards. Actually, I fuck with the heels idea. Yeah, QD is right. The top. I'm more gay than you. Okay, hold on.

I'm gonna call my stylist right now. No, no, no. I'm calling my stylist right now. I don't know if I trust him. He's gonna panic. He's gonna panic. No, no, no, no. This is a disaster.

I'm gonna call my stylist. No, hold on. Just give me a second. This is how he cancels on the Glad of Wars and then I swoop. Nick, you're on the Fear End podcast. I've got a question. Hi. Hi, Nick.

Question. What if we added heels to the outfit? To your outfit? Yes. The one you're going to wear to the Gladyswards? Yes. No. Okay.

Okay. Thank you. Not this time around. Not this time around. But if you want to be in some cha-cha heels, I'll put them on you next time. Nick, I have a question. Hi, my name is Kudy Sinera. It's not my real name.

I was bored that way, but it's a second. It's a new. one that I got later in life. But my question is, don't you think, don't you think, well, like, nice and respectfully, because I know you help him a lot. Don't you think he's missing some pizzazz? Yes, but we have to be gentle with giving Austin some pizzazz.

If we overload him with too much pizzazz, he might combust. Yeah. Nick, this is Will Map. We're old friends. I see the vision. I love the outfit. I am a full supporter of it. It's fabulous.

Thank you. You know you're a Gucci boy. Thank you. Okay. Thank you, Nick. Thank you, Nick. Good job. Bye.

Bye. So you have a fear of pizzazz? I have no fear of pizzazz. I feel like fucking Frankie Grande's ass. Kind of feels like Nick knows you best. You couldn't wear that. And he made it seem like you wore the setback here. He did kind of.

I never get it. Look at what you're doing to him. I can't believe it. Look what you're doing. I'm never getting it. I'm going to use the bathroom. I want you to wear a suit jacket and he's shirtless underneath. You work out too.

much to not be shirtless. I'll be back. And we could do fake nipple piercings and the nipple piercings are like a chain around your neck. Wouldn't that be so cool? What are you doing a scene from the fucking cell? I like you. I have a nipple piercing necklace. Okay, you pissed off Siri.

Good. Number one, calm down. You're overloading. But don't you think that would be crazy? You guys, no, you guys are becoming helicopter parents. Let our little gay son fly at his own speed. I have no dog in this fight. I just like the fuck with Austin.

I know. And it's sick. You're a bad older brother. I just, I just, I just, it would be really cool in my outfit. It's funny.

And he had heels. Imagine heels and like, he had to do a panic pit. Like jacket, no top, fakeness, multiple piercings into a chain. So cool.

Anyway, if anyone wants to hire me, available. I don't know anything about fashion. Fetable piercing. Fake ones, fake ones. I can make it.

Okay. You're going to look so good. I'm so excited for you. Thank you so much. Oh my god, but like imagine even like an assless. I love that. Imagine assless. Okay.

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Well, I already have a little bit of a complex because some guy came up to me and said, does Hassan make funny for how you dress? I'll kill him. Who is it? Oh, you. And I was wearing this outfit that I'm wearing right now. But that's a great outfit. Yeah.

And I think, I don't know, he came up, and I was like, well, and I just covered it. And I was like, I'm not insecure at all. Good thing. Good thing that didn't sit with you. Yeah, no, it didn't sit with me at all. But, yeah, I was just, you know, a little bit of a complex. So, you know, look, I think I'm going to look great. I'm very confident.

I think you're going to look. Thank you. You're going to look great. What are you going to wear, Will? Oh. Oh, no. Wow. You know who I think of whose suit I think of all the time?

Who? Is Zesty Bestie from the streamer awards. Did you see it? No. Oh, my God, Gorgina. Hand embroidered, like, because he goes by Zesty. Zesty best. Blue suit, hand-imported like lemon in fucking lemon zest.

Oh my God, incredible. I think about it all the time. Zesty doesn't even know that, but if you knew. Oh. Ready with your Zesty. Oh, Zesty Besty. So cute. Oh, my God.

Best suit ever. I think about it all the time. Look at that. Oh, wow. Isn't that so, it's incredible. That's so cute. Isn't it so cute? Love that for him.

Handmade. He made it. It's so cute. Like, you know what I'm like just some. I love that. I love some. Yeah. That's your number one.

Yeah. No, but it's a number one. You're gonna get mad because you do like high fashion. Yeah, I dress them. Yeah, I like. I'm beyond your taste. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm like Gaga meat dress. What do you want? No, wait, I was trying to have them. Are you okay? I'm not offended by that. Yeah. Am I supposed to me? No, no, no.

Pause. I perceived it too. Are you okay? Yeah. Yeah. Wait, wait. Oh, no, no, nothing. It's just.

Is Iran attacking? No. Or are we attacking Iran? Fucking, it's actually, we don't even need to delete this part. Larry Ellison bought. It's going to be the new boss of CNN. And I have a bunch of... Oh, he bought CNN?

I have a bunch of reporters reaching out being like, dude. Oh, no. Isn't he buying Warner Brothers too? Yeah. Oh, no. He's going to own basically all the media properties in the fucking car. I thought you just hated Sesty Besty. No, no, no.

I just, I, yeah. In that moment, I was thinking like, I'm going to get so much fucking awful news coverage. Don't worry, Hassan.

Let's, Marsh, how much do we make on the Patreon last month? Let's make a counteroffer. What do you think? Let's buy CNN. Yeah. Yeah,

I got a couple, 10 billion despair. Yeah. I like Zesty Basti's outfit. That was cute. Yeah, but I know what you're saying. You're like,

fit it. You don't like the way I dress. No, no, I do. No, no, I'm a big boy. I go for memorable in like, like, I kind of go for kitchie. The more words you add, you can just say you don't like it. No, I do like it. Wait, but just because she likes that guy is the best.

She's like my Mousse Dong fit that I got in China. Yeah, I remember that one. See, that was memorable. Yeah, I remember that one. But I remember your red suit too. See? And you, I remember your clear shirt. Oh, yeah.

The one that I felt. No, no, this was a different one. His smelly shirt, I do remember it too. I had like encapsulated my nipples show and I didn't realize that until I got on stage. Oh. Yeah. This is going to be my first red carpet in a while where I'm very skinny though, which I'm excited. Will you have never been fat to me.

I know what the fuck. I know, but now I'm just like, you've never been. Did you see that my clip of you closing the door is Caroline's clip? You, yeah, it was me reacting. Will it walks in? There's this clip Caroline's just like, will you close the door, darling? You know, Charming's ever. Yeah.

And then Will walks in in his panties. And you can kind of see my home. Closes the door. And it was like, I jumped scare. But the thing is, you knew that people could see. No. I literally was like so far back. And I did like.

Sure. No. Just like, just like Hassan. But all the comments were glazing him. They're like, he's so ripped. He's whatever. This is just, it got a million views.

I got to ask me a question. Wasn't even my clips. Oh, these. Oh, these. Oh, this is crazy. I want to know something. I've seen a couple of pictures of your, you and your underwear that you

posted out. You and your underwear. I've seen a couple pictures of you and your underwear. This is available for public viewing. So you want to know how much it weighs? No. Ew. Ew.

What's happening? No, no, no. I could care less about how much it weighs. God. What? Like, stop? I don't want to know anything about your penis. Why are you gesturing?

Why do you bring it up? I don't want to know about it. No one brought up. Then what are you asking about? I'm curious. So you don't want to know the weight. Is it? I don't care about the weight or the girth or the length.

You were gesturing. Okay. Or the length. Were you, like, were you, um, aware that your member was on display for everybody up? Shut the fuck up. You took that mirror photo shirtless and had no idea that your junk was, I should have rubbed it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. No. Put it on my tombstone. I should have rubbed it. Every time I take a picture of my in my underwear, I'm always conscious of the way my guy was. I should have rubbed it, gave it a little kickstart, you know what I mean? Is there a female version of this?

Maybe nipples. Hard nips. Oh, you guys do that. No, it was really in for a while having hard nipples. To the point that I believe one of the Jenner sisters, I believe it was Kylie. Maybe I'm making this up. If I am funny rumor, Kylie, you're welcome. I got Botox in her nipples.

No. Yeah. It was a rumor I heard. I don't know if it's real. If I'm making up a rumor, that's funny. That sounds so painful. But yeah, then it made her like perma hard.

So then it like, because nipples are an accessory though. It's just easy to get hard, though, your nipples. It is. I mean, I won't do it right now,

but it's just one little. Well, that's not the same for girls. Oh, really? No. Is that really not the same? You guys take a second?

How did Jennifer Aniston get him so rock solid? Okay. She could just have like bigger nipples. Because if you have bigger nipples. I thought the medal was like they put ice on them bad boys. No, they weren't doing that during friends. She probably just has like, you know, I always remember of super bad the episode.

We have the room cold. Jonah Hill and McLevin are in a gas station and he goes, she got baby toes for nipples. Oh. And I always think so like a little tiny like a big like some people have tiny nipple and some people have big one. Right. And they can have not pepperoni. areolas. They have like small aeros. Did you remember what topic we're on right now?

Bimples. Will, we'll quit talking. Why did nipples make you so uncomfortable? Just let us roll. All right, fun. Damn. I have something to talk about. The Fear and West Coast Train Tour. He hasn't forgot. Oh, so that's a topic. Yeah, it is.

Actually, I'm just going to roll. Hey, so talk to me about what you did today. I interviewed Ben Rhodes. I interviewed Nita Alam in North Carolina. line of four. And then right after that, I interviewed the Barack Obama National Security Advisor Ben Rhodes, who played a formative role in the Iran denuclearization agreement, also known as the JCPOA, and also played a role in the Cuba normalization talks. I'm trying to get him to come to the Cuba.

I'm trying to get him to come to the Cuba trip with us. I did a react stream. So, yeah, that's, that's, you're a different man in the AM than you are in the PM. Yeah, I'm, well, you know, you You know, I melt. I started my day at six. I had a big podcast beforehand, before I did the stream. With who? With these two content critics, Chris Kuzler and overzealous. Like a political one?

Yeah. That guy does politics. Now, Austin, did you have anything you wanted to talk about today? Of course I did. Okay. And I wanted to talk. Austin met Ben Rhodes. And it was really funny.

Apparently he was like walking out. And Austin shook his hand. Go ahead, Austin. What did you do? Well, I didn't know who the guy was, to be honest with you. I was like, oh, Hassan's talking to somebody. He was bald, wasn't he? Yes. Okay.

Which is nothing. No problem. Right? I don't have any issue. I just said, no one thought you did until that moment. Ben wrote, I had no idea who he was. But I was like, okay, Hassan, he must be of someone. National security advisor to Barack Obama, former president.

Right. Former president. Wait, so he still does it? No, he used to, former, former president. Well, I know, but former president. But former presidents get security forever the rest of life. No, no. Wait, what?

That was awesome. No, cutie. See, I don't even know that it was funny. I'm just joining in. National Security Advisor is a White House position. Right, okay. Mr. Obama, would you like your daily briefing? No, I've been retired for many years now.

I would still take a briefing, right? What a national security advisor does is, like, Like, they play a role in, like, doing foreign policy decisions. Oh, so did you ask him about aliens? No. No. No. Security is a part of it.

What do you mean? I mean, honestly, because I... If he's on security, he's better to be watching the aliens. No, I think... And Obama just did an interview where he said aliens are real. And then he had to backtrack and he had to be like, yeah, they're probably real. That was a really good Obama. That was your best impression ever.

Oh, they're probably real. No, he lost it. No. It was one shining moment. So close. So anyway, I meet the bald guy. That's crazy. That's crazy.

What? He's not going to fucking see this. He's a podcast. He has a family. He loves it. He might see it. Well, look, I'd like to issue it very public apology. I don't have anything against bald people.

In fact, I suffer from the same condition you do. I'm just not quite as far along in the process. He just... Full fucking head of hair. Full fucking out of it. NSA guy, National Security Advisor for Barack Obama, had no idea until Hassan said something. So he, as he was leaving, he couldn't find the door.

So I said, I'm going to help you. And then as I was leaving, I shook his hand. I said, thank you for your service. Is that weird? I said, thank you for your service to this nation. And I just wanted to thank him because I felt bad he was bald. He told me, he's like, I don't know what he was doing, but he seemed serious.

Wait, what? I think that's nice. I thanked him for his service to this nation. And I told him I was an American citizen and I was a podcast. It feels like you overshared a little bit. I just wanted to let him know. I'm in a homosexual relationship.

Did you think he was going to like, I told him I was an American citizen. I just wanted to know that my compliment. I live in Portland, Oregon, but I spent quite a good deal of time here in Los Angeles. But yeah, it was great.

God you'd like to know. It was nice to meet him. And I also told him, I said, you know what? Don't worry about all this. They did not. They make great

toupees now. They actually call them installments. I want to tell this. I want to tell this to bald people out there. I want to say, you know what?

I think bald people are some of the freest people on the planet. Yeah. Because I think once you finally let go of your hair, you are, you just look

that way forever. And you just, you know, you just kind of take it all at once and it's just kind of that's it. You know what I mean? You don't have to worry about, I feel like you've done most of your age.

If that was a pump up speech for bald people, I'm pretty sure they'd fucking kill themselves right now. If you had to pump up a bald man, you're like, I mean, it's as bad as it's going to get. You gave up. At least you're free.

I mean, look. Can't get any lower. I think, you know what? I don't think there's, and this is, I, mean this being there's no shame to bald people but I love watching the TikTok like hair

system installment I love them oh like where were they where they where they put the hair back yeah and I'm just saying like yeah the toupee's nowadays are so good if you're bald and you don't want to be you don't have to be you know what I say they're really good you know what I say I'm saying that as someone like I have small boobs I don't have to have small boobs you don't yes I do it's a bee I think it's a I think it's a booty she has a booty I I think it's an A. She's booty lishes. No, it's a B. Austin.

They're B's. Is A smaller than B? Yeah. Oh. I was trying to give me a C. I was trying to give you an A. Well, he was trying to give you a passing grade.

Yeah, he didn't realize. I give him an ass. You know? I'm saying. I think, I think this is my hot take. If women were the ones more likely to go bald, all of us bitches would be wearing wigs.

It's true. You know what my grandmother used to say? My grandmother used to say, every woman should have a wig in her wardrobe. I do have one now. Wow. Cool. And you know what my grandfather used to say?

What's that? He hated wigs. No, he used to say, my grandfather. Slurs. My grandfather hated, wow, this is such a bad joke. No, his grandfather is, well, my grandfather was very woke, but he was also born in 1923. Right. So my grandmother used to have fake eyelashes, you know, wig, you know, and my grandfather,

we may have to cut this. My grandfather used to say to his pals. Oh, no. Locker room talk. It was bad. He used to say, you know what? Every night I don't know whether to get in bed or get in the drawer. Wait, I don't get it.

Because she had a wig and eyelashes and... Get in the drawer, like hide from her? No, get in the drawer because that's all of her stuff. Oh, like have sex with her stuff? No. Wait, I don't get it. Wait, have I going dumber? Like, no, no, no.

No, no, no. Getting in bed, like, basically my grandfather had, my grandmother had, you know, a lot of accessories. Prostetics. You know, eyelashes, eyebrows. So he wanted to hide like he didn't recognize her? No. She would take them off and put them somewhere and he's like,

oh, more of my wife is in the drawer than is in the back. Oh. Which is obviously. So it was to have some. with it. No, I don't think my grandparents had sex at a certain point. They definitely did. Old people get real horny. Oh, cutie. I'm on

Reddit. For the love of God. What they do? Ladies and gentlemen, and just like that, time flies when you're having a good time with a beer and podcast. Ladies and gentlemen, we're off to the Patreon. We're going to talk for another hour. That's right. And I brought another

ADHD toy for them. Oh, yes. ADHD toys. It's sticking out. I'm ready. Unbox and build. This isn't for you. Wait, it comes alive in water? That's right.

His eyes light up. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. That's it. Marshalls. Why is she telling us about it? I think it's so dumb. Me too.

I like it. I want to know more about what the fuck happened, Michaela. She's not going to tell you because it's between Cody and her. Okay, let me say something. When two people get a divorce. Yes. It's because something didn't work out. Right.

And in this case, something didn't work out between them. And that's it. But why am I supposed to give a shit? I've been a follower of Michaela since she had 35,000 followers. And she was doing makeup halls outside of a New Jersey target. And I need to know why she and Cody are no longer in a relationship. I will fucking kill myself. I mean that about you.

March, are you still docks and Cody? Yeah, we're going to. We're going to docks. So cutie. What, what, what, what, what is the? The girly pop take is that she's a. insane for being like everybody sit down. Yeah, that was pretty bad.

Take it in. Like, I don't know if there's any relationship. Speak for yourself. I think Michelle and Obama is the only time I'd be like, yeah, I'm upset. Do you remember where you were with? Michelle. Michelle and Obama. What's his first name again?

Brara. The president. I know, I couldn't think of his first name. That's crazy. I don't know everyone's first name off the back. You know, he's, that's the most recognizable name. What's Trump's first name? Donald.

Okay, you guys are quick.