Fin vs History - 19th Century Squid Porn | Feudal Japan (Part 3)
Episode Date: October 13, 2025Secure your privacy with Surfshark! Enter coupon code FVH for an extra 4 months at surfshark.com/fvh As war turns to peace, the Japanese find they have more time to shove anthropods up themse...lves The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened. For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon patreon.com/fintaylor Chapters; 00:00 Tokugawa He Emits Poo 09:10 Role of Daimyo 17:23 The Original Weeb 21:59 Closed Country Policy 30:47 Origin Story of Matthew Perry 36:23 kabuki minstrel show / sumo 38:26 Sippy Cup Privileges 41:09 She’s an Easy Peeler 46:30 Imperial Restoration Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Welcome back to Vinod's History.
I'm joined by Horatio called
We're moving towards the he-he-he-he-he-he part of Japan
where this series really is the
to, how did we get to a story of Japan?
Yeah, exactly.
With a nuclear bomb explosion at the front.
Yes.
On the cover.
Night night, straight to bed.
No supper
No sushi
No sushi
No sushi
This is the long road
To the night night bomb
The winding road to Squid Porn
The long and winding
No
That's how that song goes
It's part three
Of our Japan
Feudal Japan series
I've got to have a good time
actually going through feudal Japan
It's lovely
Absolutely lovely
They're kind of our sort of people
Yes
It's a home away from home
It is a home way from home
Scotland on sea.
The most Scottish place in the world is Japan.
Well, you think about it, they make whiskey.
They love suicide.
Yeah.
Like they're good fish.
Yeah.
I mean, Scotland.
They don't know how to cook fish.
They don't know how to cook.
So we left off.
We're in Scotland.
We're in Japan.
It's about 1588.
Hello.
Hello.
It's 1588.
And Tom, what's his first name or his last name?
It's upside down.
It's not Thomas.
It's not Thomas Hidioshi.
Thomas Hidiyoshi.
Yeah, Brian Hideochi has outlasted Odu Nobunaga.
Sorry, Ian Nobanaga.
They've got these some very pretentious names.
Toyo-T tomato Hideyoshi.
It's part three.
I don't know anymore.
There's so many fucking weird names.
Yeah, his name's tomato.
Tomato Hideyoshi has issued.
Toyotomi.
Toyotomi.
Hidioshi.
Hideyoshi has issued
some sweeping edicts.
You ever issued
as a sweeping edict?
Not yet, but I do hope to.
It's on my vision board.
I issue some sweeping statements.
Yeah, sure.
I wouldn't say they're edicts.
An edict is that,
can you make them an edict or is that how they're received?
I think it's...
Can just like a pissed tramp
makes an edict?
I don't think so.
No, you can't.
I think it's...
Just because you say it, it has to be...
It depends on the state to the person making the edict.
Yeah, yeah.
So he, his famous edict is a sword hunt.
We should explain who,
just a recap on Hideyoshi, who's basically like
he was a foot soldier, a peasant who was
a dirty gypsy monkey man.
Exactly.
Not my words.
In a very rigid class system of Japan
where there was really no social mobility
because of Oda Nomunaga being quite a maverick
who believes a bit more in meritocracy.
Fuck are you, ma'am.
Yeah.
Fuck are you, my mama.
He's a Japanese emo.
He really went for that.
I was there.
Part three.
He's gone for it.
He's all in now.
I can't believe it.
I'm all in.
They think it's all over.
It is now.
The podcast is now.
I think the podcast is over.
It is now.
I said that.
He climbs through the ranks and then in a stunning turn of events, he defends
normal.
Yeah, anime.
We need to be, you know, we should be painting this for our listeners.
This is when we get shot.
That's, yeah, that's a Japanese man with a speech impediment.
Yeah.
With the lisp.
Huh?
but he manages to
not only come back and defend
his former master's honor
Novenaga, but he
defeats all of the rival contenders
in the power vacuum. So he is the
second of the three unifiers and in
the thing pounded
the rice, he bakes the cake
and we're not yet the person who eats it. So he's the cake
baker. He's baking the cake. And that's not a homophobic
slur. No, although
maybe he was doing some... What did our researcher call us
She called us Cootie Catchers
Which I think is an HR issue
Anyway
So he issues, it's 1588
He's been in power for about five years or so
He issues a sword hunt
It's like an Easter egg hunt
No, it's not like an Easter egg hunt
So he's hidden
A couple of swords around Japan
And if you find them you get chocolate
No, it's not that
And it's not like Pokemon Go
When you're walking through Victoria Park
Find a snorlax on the bridge
Some other virgins, don't call me that
I've done a lot of work to undo my nickname from school.
Bowser, Snorlax.
Say you've done a lot of work.
You've just grown.
I've just grown taller.
Just been stretched out.
My eating habits are the same.
I've just grown taller.
Genetics kicked in.
Thank God.
That's what they mean by privilege.
It's like hand-pored noodles, right?
Yeah, I guess so.
At the beginning, they said they're this big pot.
And then he gets stretched into sort of bianng, bian.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway, a sword hunt is not an Easter egg hunt.
It's where weapons are taken from farmers, peasants, anyone common.
Weapons of minimum destruction.
Yeah, yeah, swords, yeah.
I guess so.
And basically become, you have to be a samurai to have a sword, really.
So he's kind of, he's taking, it's like the gun amnesty after Dunblain.
Yeah.
Or poor Arthur, to make an Australian reference.
So Hideyoshi declares that all the collected weapons would be melted down and make a big fat Buddha statue.
Yeah.
So he's, he's doing virtue signal me.
It's kind of, it's quite woke, isn't it?
give me your weapons.
I'm going to smelt them down
and make a big fat
body positive.
Rule one or something like that.
And so he outlaws
warfare by Dymios.
Independent warfare.
Yes.
So he can,
he's the only one
that can authorise military campaigns.
Indie warfare.
Yeah.
So no,
indie warfare isn't done.
It's major label warfare.
It's like EMI.
Yeah.
He banned SoundCloud.
Yeah.
No,
SoundCloud's out of it.
And this stabilizes the realm
somewhat.
So there's this huge samurai order.
Charlie's Googling.
Yoshiport, but there's a huge...
Laugher to himself.
A large laughing.
Fucking hell.
So anyway,
um,
if this was a football team,
it would have absolutely no one
protecting the defence.
Yeah.
I'm goalie.
No, you're not.
No, no, no,
you're meant to be,
but you're charging upfield.
You're the guy that Cantonar kicks
in the face.
No, I'm this guy.
That's me.
Igwita, but smashing like,
uh...
But missing the ball.
Yeah, just face planting.
Every time.
every time a shot comes and he tries it's not a shot it's a bat pass and he does it and it just goes in the goal
goes underneath him yeah and then he hits the he gets the floor with his head that would be so funny
if you just signed a mid game at every same you're trying to get it anyway back back on next time
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So there is a huge class of samurai
who have been warring for 150 years.
There are warring society.
It's all they know.
There's a military industrial complex in Japan.
Right.
Yeah, of course.
And so...
It's the only way you can...
It's a way of acquiring honour.
So this is why they have to keep doing it
because they're so obsessed with it.
It's been, what, four or five generations
all they've known as war.
So he needs an outlet for this war.
And so what Hideyoshi does in 1592
is he goes, do you know what?
I'm going to have a crack at the Chinese.
Yeah.
And this is the first.
first great Chinese civil war.
Yeah.
In that it's a war between China, Japan and Korea.
So just different regions of China.
Yeah.
And I don't think we should get involved.
I think we should let the Chinese people decide it to work itself out.
The right to self-determination of the Chinese people.
I'm not getting involved.
This is a civil war.
Anyway.
So Hideyoshi launches an invasion from Japan, which is obviously a province of China.
To another province.
He wants to go through Korea, which is another province of China, to get to mainland China.
Anyway, so what he does, what he does, I don't know, I think, yeah, it is this one, 5092.
His invasion of Korea is the biggest amphibious assault in world history until D-Day.
Yeah, I read that on the way, isn't it?
Crazy.
It is crazy.
200,000 Chinese people in boats.
200,000 Japanese.
Surprising, I guess.
Well, I guess both from Japan and the UK, they both came from similar size island, so I guess that's probably why.
But in my head, it was shocking, but I don't know what else would compete with it, really.
No, but amphibious assaults, I mean, even D-Day, when we get to D-Day, like, the whole
idea of an amphibious assault is something that's only ever really been done properly at D-D-Day.
Right.
I mean, they do it here, but as in, like, until that point, it was kind of impossible to
watch a ground invasion overseas.
Yeah.
Now, the Korean have what's called the righteous armies.
Okay.
Which is, like, it's fragmented.
Twitter mob.
Twitter mob.
Yeah, it's a white mob.
It's pitchforks.
and they are led by guy called
Gwack J.
U.
Different names now
we're getting into a different sort of sound
It's a different area of China
Guac J.U
and he dyes his coat red
with the menstrual blood of virgins
which will give him magical protection
Yeah, nothing to see here
I think that's completely normal
I too have a coat died
with the menstrual blood of virgins
Yeah somewhere in the bottom of the closet somewhere
Oh no no pride of place
That's my car coat
That's what I drive in to protect me from crashes
the menstrual blood of virgins
Wow
I mean how many virgins do you think it'd take
To dye the coat
Or is it one with a heavy flow
Well Japan the Japanese are very
They're very small people aren't they
Five foot or like that
So you had to use loads
Sorry
So you had to use loads of virgins
Well they're small people
So it wouldn't say that many
Where are they taking the blood from?
Oh I see yeah
Well it's menstrual blood Charlie
From the Fanny
Fally
Fally
Fanny
He says
Menthstral brackets from the
He says in a somber tone.
From the fanny.
From the fanny I see.
Bushy clad.
From a bushy clad.
It's from a bushy clad.
Anyway, the Korean menstrual blood virgin Superman,
he leads a guerrilla uprising against...
So, Korean ninjas.
Sort of, yeah.
But this is one of the original...
This is the original Korean War, maybe, is one of the original ones.
But anyway, the Japanese actually get all the way up Korea.
They take, like, Busan and Pyongyang and Seoul.
And Pyongyang and Seoul.
same country at this point right yeah
and similar vibes but interestingly
what's he called
Hideyoshi yeah he wants to
divide career into two spheres of influence
a Chinese sphere
and uh well another Chinese sphere
a Japanese sphere
oh really and he's already thinking about dividing
oh okay so it's already been like a
and when squid game is that
when does that come in I think this is
this is squid game I think
in the Gwack JU the period guy
he attacks all the supply lines
and there's a famous battle at a river
where they first defeat Hideyoshi's army
by like ambushing them while they're in a river
and because the samurai got such heavy armour
all these like
little Korean fellas
yeah they come out and they
yeah and this is during the Mong China
Ming China thing
sorry the Ming China dynasty
Mong China yeah sorry no Ming China
too close
too close for comfort Ming China I think
right
Monchina is too it's just there
it is there but the Mong China was when Genghis Khan
invaded wasn't it
right there's too many
China's anyway
but China enters the war
and sort of grinds it into a stale mate
so the Japanese were overstretched
which is what happened with the Korean War
yeah genuinely
so the Japanese are overstretched
their supply lines all the little fellas
that's what I'm calling the Koreans
Carrillo attacks
oh look these little fellas
that's what the Japanese are going
and Hideyoshi
well the average height is 5 foot 1
yeah that's what I mean
so they really are tidal fellas
And it's interesting, like, these warriors, these with amazing swords, a huge armour.
Do you think with our diet of, you know, steak and eggs in a way that...
This is the Korean War.
I do often think how you'd stack against a great warrior from that period, if they're that much smaller than you.
Yeah.
Because there's so much...
Well, they talk about a box as...
A box of reach, weight and height are such big distinguishes.
Yeah.
So you're just imagining, you're just like...
Well, like Genghis Khan was like 5'3 or something.
It just really changes the vibe, isn't it?
Yeah.
Just a little fucking tidler.
So anyway, Hideyoshi,
who at this point is kind of going mad.
He may have syphilis.
Right.
He's fucking a lot.
Yeah.
He's got a lot.
He can't believe it.
He was a peasant farmer and now he's the king.
He's a disgusting monkey gypsy boy,
not my words.
And now he's fucking everyone.
Yeah.
And he's the king.
Anyway, so he...
You can get away with a lot if you say,
not my words.
Yeah.
It's a nice, it's a nice get-out, I'm afraid.
Also, these are, these are someone's words.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Long China.
Not my words.
Not my words.
My words.
Yeah, I know those are my words.
Anyway, Hideyoshi is ill-informed or mad, and maybe the reports are being sugar-coated,
but he thinks that he's actually winning the war when he's not.
All the little fellas are, they're winning.
So there's this humiliating episode in Kyoto where he basically thinks he's won the Korean campaign.
Because he's mental.
Because he's mental.
So he then sends his emissary to China, demanding to split career into two spheres of influence,
more from South.
The Chinese refused and come to his court to ask for his submission to them, right?
And then Hideyoshi is so annoyed that he orders a second invasion of Korea purely out of revenge.
Even though he's already won the first one in his head.
He's like, why are we doing this again?
But it's just, it's like all the daimios who had pledged their men, they're losing thousands of men.
It's an absolute disaster.
The big problem with Hideyoshi is that there's a hair crisis, not like your hair crisis,
which you could just go to Turkey and things like some pills.
He's got an air crisis.
which is that his infant son, Sunomatsu.
Percentious name.
Yeah, again, stupid name.
He dies.
Yeah.
And so he designates his nephew, Hidizogo.
Making them up at this point.
Yeah, they're just pulling this out of a fucking barrel.
His favorite concubine, Lady Chacha.
Fair enough.
She sounds brilliant.
She sounds British.
He then has a son called Hidiorei.
And thus the nephew, Hidizugu, becomes expendable.
But he'd already offered.
the line of succession to him.
So then he
forces Hidisugu to commit Sapu
fucking nonsense.
And...
But I'll be like...
Oh no, you can have it then.
No, no, no, no, you've got to kill yourself.
I wish I'd accepted it then.
Yeah, don't accept anything.
I think if you're in Fidel Japan, just don't say yes to anything.
Because you never know if someone's going to say kids.
Even have Sapuku.
And then not only that, but 31 women and children,
so all Hidisogu's family, they have.
to commit spookoo.
Well,
are they executed?
Oh,
that's different,
isn't it?
It's different, right?
Sapuku is like brilliant.
Execution's terrible.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah,
which is terrible.
Children don't do,
only samurai do supoku.
Women don't do
supu.
No.
No, they couldn't.
Couldn't possibly.
They do, though,
don't they?
They do, though, don't they?
They do,
a real woman used.
Yeah, but they use the wrong end.
Doing it for a tent.
Yeah.
Just do a supuke for attention.
Oh, come on, love.
If you leave him,
I'm going to speak myself,
you'd be so lucky.
have I given you permission
um
so there's even
the formidable um
date masamune who is called
the one-eyed dragon
masapune um
not masapune um
he blah blah blah
survives only because of Tokugawa
iasu's intervention
more on him in a bit
the Korean disaster drags on
Hideyoshi's health collapses
and they create a council of five elders
to govern until the young
Hideyori is the one they decided to take over
becomes of age
and they're sort of pretending they're propping up
pretending he's still alive.
They got like the...
Well, like, he's an old fucking geyser
and they're pretending he's...
They say, they hide his death.
He dies in 1598.
Yes.
And so they have, he has a five-year-old son.
But they're like, he's still...
They've got his corpse.
They're going, oh, and then...
Oh, and then you...
Yeah.
But then he says, there are five regents
that are looking after my son
until my son comes of age
to take ownership of Orchpan.
And this is what Shogun is based on.
It's this set up.
Oh, right.
It's the five regent.
looking after a young boy.
Okay.
So this is where Shogun starts.
Yeah.
Okay.
And this is what happens next is real Richard the third princes in the town.
Yeah, it's very similar a lot of this.
It is.
So, officially, Hideori, who's Hideyoshi's son, he's ruling.
But in reality, the power is balanced between these rivals regions.
One of whom is Tokugawa Ieasu, who's the third unifier.
Who's going to eat this fucking cake finally.
Exactly.
Because it could all fall apart very easily.
It says it's very fine.
Because they're using rice flour.
It's very soft, very delicate thing.
So many daimio are now quietly readying themselves for some kind of reckoning.
And once again, at any point, just cut to the emperor and he's just making tea.
Yeah.
Like he's just completely irrelevant at all points.
So anyway, now let's get to Tokugawa Ieasu, who is the ultimate unifier, the man who's there at the end of it all, the guy who outlasts it, and the first shogun of the Edo period.
he sort of manoeuvres himself into position
as the guardian of the air
Right, so classic Princes and the Tower sort of stuff
And there's a battle in 1600 called the Battle of Seguihara
Right
Which is decisive because it ends this 120, 30 years of civil war
in a single day
Right
And this is like the Battle of Bosworth, but Japanese
Okay, yes
In that there are three different factions, three different armies
it's iasu fighting some other cunt
and then there's a third army
who are one of the
they both pledged allegiance to
he's pledged allegiance to both
he's waiting to see he's going to do better
and he comes in at the last minute
on iasu's side
I'd like to think that's how I'd be
well the guy that's just scoped it's
just at the hill
just uh all right yeah
yeah yeah we want
another one
Tokugawa
uh what's his face
iasu
he defeats the whoever
I don't care
and um blah blah blah blah
21st of October.
It's one of the largest battles
in Japanese history.
Damn.
There's a lot of people involved
at this time.
160,000 troops.
Yeah, it just feels like
the biggest amphibious.
I didn't know there's so many people
in Japan at this period.
And Ishida, that's the guy.
Ishida's forces collapse
and the EAS who wins a decisive victory.
And so then what he does,
he doesn't kill the little boy.
Okay.
He beheads a few people, obviously.
But the little boy
is sent to, I think it's Asaka,
castle.
603, Tokugawa Ieasu's
formally appointed the shogun by
Emperor Go Yuzi
Yeah
And the shogun
A shogun literally means that the general
No it's the barbarian
quelling generalissimo
Right
That's what it actually means
The barbarian
Barbarian quelling generalisia
Yeah that's beast
And so
Eiyasu is the first person to move
The government of Japan to
What's now Tokyo?
To Ido
And Iro is in the centre of Japan
And it's not really...
Do you like Tokyo?
I love Tokyo.
You're an Edophile.
Yeah, I'm a need a file.
Yeah, you're a need a file.
Yeah.
So, Edo at this point...
Edo.
Is it a nothing place?
And it just gets decided to become the capital.
He builds Edo Castle.
Sort of from nothing.
Yeah.
So it's got no history really before.
No.
Nice.
So, and what he does is he moves all the government there.
And then he says that the emperor can stay in Kyoto,
but the government's going to be.
in Edo.
But apparently there's so many
earthquakes in Kyoto.
So it just always just
collapse and they just
built it so they're just
rebuild it really quickly.
Because it's so easy to rebuild them
even though they all fall down.
I think it's another part of the
Japanese psyche that leads to
things like Supuku and Bukaki
is that
it's the same thing,
isn't it?
Sapuku becomes a ritualized
thing under the Edo period
and becomes Bukaki eventually.
I have to sort of
I've disordered my family
I'm a similar thing
I must dishonour my family
is going
yeah
Bukaki is the only way
that you can
you can make up
To be fair
Bukaki Subuku
that combination
is a nice one too
because you dishonour your family
and then you make up
it by killing yourself
that's it
Yeah it'd have to be
yeah you wouldn't do it
the other way around
but Charlie would
well yeah
Charlie would himself
and then
fireplex to cover it's face
yeah instead of the second head thing
this guy jumping head off
it's just a guy covering on your post
yeah anyway
eddo castle becomes the largest fortress in Japan
and although it's a small castle town
over the course of this 250 year period
which is called the eddo period
it becomes the largest city in the world
which is kind of crazy
and this is policy of isolationism
it's coming throughout but this is
I think we'll get to that
but that sort of come in during this period
so in 1605
Eiyasu resigns in favour of his son
Tokugawa Hididata
Hidididata.
It's like a drum break.
Yeah.
Ensuring a kind of hereditary succession.
Yeah.
And in 1614, though...
Continuing to wield influence
as the Oga Shoe, which is retired show.
Yeah, that's kind of the dream,
to be just retired boss man.
So in 1614, there are tensions rising
because Hideori, who's Hideyoshi's son,
who's still alive.
Not too confused with Yakotori.
Not to be confused with Yagotori.
No.
You cannot get Hideori on the Wagamama menu.
Hideori is comes of age
in Osaka Castle.
Right.
So he casts off his nenger,
Pido master.
Yeah, yeah.
He throws.
No more.
I'm going to have sex as women now.
I'm ruined.
I've been ruined.
And so what he does,
because it's like a banner for discontent
to the regis,
he just goes in there
and tortures the place
there's a big siege
goes on for like months
eventually he defeats
Hideori
and blah blah blah
yeah the second
16 15 he forces
Hideyori and his mother to commit
Sapuku as the castle's on fire
although they never
the bodies are never found
so there's kind of rumours as to whether they might still be alive
well this is 1615 so
although
where are the bodies then? Blue zones
isn't it
so you just don't know
these people live a long time
all that raw fish
and friends crucially
their mates and they eat raw fish
so they could still be alive today
Charlie what's the oldest
can you find out what the oldest
Japanese person ever is
I'd imagine
I think Japan is in terms of the longest living people
A fishy old woman I'll tell you that
a woman who's eating raw fish
every day of their life
oldest Japanese person ever go on
119 years and 17 days
right now let's get oldest person ever
let's just see how that stacks up
French
damn she's 122 so not too much now this is an interesting one what is it what country has the
youngest oldest person can we find that out surely it's Scotland will they have that because that
would be really whoa Morocco immediate the oldest person ever who did live in Morocco was 56
no that's median that's the median right here we go right can you set it by age yeah yeah and I've got
the opposite yeah yeah there we go there we go Fiji makes sense now that makes sense I've long said
that Fijians have the worst
most disgusting diet
of anyone of this earth.
They're the most obese country.
Basically, all of those islands
are the most obese people in the world
by a long shot.
In Fiji, they hollow out a loaf of bread,
fill it with ice cream and honey,
and then that's their breakfast.
So that's why they've got the youngest old person.
105 is not a good inning.
Not bad.
So clearly.
But then would you say that that, sorry,
can you go back to the league table,
there is a Betu Prasad?
Betu Prasad.
Would you say that that's actually,
It's actually, that's more of an achievement
because he had ice cream and bread every day.
Where's the UK?
I want to see how high that UK is.
So what, 160?
Ethel catererum.
Living.
She's still alive?
Let's get her on the pod.
Ethel!
This is like one of Charlie's mates.
When you wonder what Charlie's doing on a weekend?
Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, go back.
It's the world's oldest verified living person.
Oh, damn.
She's the other person in record history.
She's still going.
No, no, it's not verified living.
living person.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
Every day
she's getting us
higher up that table.
Come on, Ethel.
Come on, Ethel.
Keep going.
Push through.
Give that old woman
some fish and some mates now.
She needs me.
She needs olive oil quickly.
Yeah, get in there.
I mean, Charlie's what's going
to keep these women alive.
Charlie,
break into Ethel caterer in his house,
but not in the way
that gives her a sudden shock.
Pumper full of olive oil,
bust some facts.
We've got to watch barco.
And you've got to take the French
off the fucking.
Fuck the French.
I cannot believe the French
are winning that.
Are you joking?
hashtag come on Ethel
No
Do not come on
Well to be fair
Maybe that's Japan's secret
It's Bukakis
Oh look at her
She's smoking
That's not Ethel
This is the oldest French woman
Yeah I know she's smoking
I don't believe it
117 busting fags
She's fake
It's fake
Fuck her
She's been accused of fraud
A recent Russian study
Claimed that she
had in fact died
in the 13th
Jean-Calmon
they claimed her daughter assumed identity
in order to avoid paying inheritance tax
that's French
that's French fortunance
right Ethel Caterham
my God that doesn't look like a life there
Ethel Caterham
this podcast will now be sponsoring
Ethel Caterham's bid to keep living
let's send money to Ethel
where is Ethel based
where's Ethel base is it in catererum
was that just her sonham
Yeah she is
in a care home in Surrey
Sorry, she's nearby.
Which care home?
I don't know.
Apparently the reason she lives so long is because she never argues,
listens and does what she likes.
She's a good woman.
That's a good woman.
I can do with an Ethel catering in my life.
Right.
Ethel, wherever you are, we're behind you.
I don't care what quality of life you have.
You keep fucking going.
And you do it for Britain.
You do it for Britain.
You've got, how many more years has you got to live before we asked the French?
I mean, the French is fake, I think.
The French is fraudulent.
I want to win this out right.
I think six more years.
Six more years, Ethel.
Come on.
Okay, right, we need to...
You've done it this far.
You can do another six.
We need to organise regular music nights,
Cliff Richard's tribute acts.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll go down and do some,
do some of my crusty jokes for the troops.
We've got to keep Ethel catering alive.
I will not rest until this podcast has sponsored
the oldest living British woman
to beat the fucking French.
And once she's beaten the French,
then she commits a Buku for an honorable way out.
The only way she can die is to commit support.
Because isn't that awesome to what would be
fucking amazing. She's 123 years
old. Oldest woman ever commit suicide.
How powerful would that be?
So good. Because it's like, not only...
That's retiring after you won the World Cup. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
On my... Still on my terms.
On my term. The greatest to ever do it.
Messi wins the World Cup. I'm retired now. Done.
That would be amazing.
Come on, Ethel.
Anyway, what the fuck are you on about?
Oh, yeah, 16-16, Tokugawa Iiyasu dies with an air.
His shogunate is now fully secure.
And thus begins the true beginning of the Tokugawa shogunate, the Edo period.
How long is the Tokugawa shogunate last?
250 years.
Damn.
And so you have 150 years.
So is that like a phantaginot, sort of.
It's like an era.
Well, what's amazing about this is that you have 150 years of civil war, and that is finished.
150 years?
Yeah, the Sengoku period, it's just war and war.
Oh, so the one we've just been, that's just, I guess that's just been talking about.
Yeah.
And then that ends, and then you have 250 years of, 250 years of peace, which is that in world
history is kind of unprecedented for one country to have 250 years of no war at all.
Internally?
Both.
That's kind of amazing, isn't it?
I guess so.
How long have we had internally?
But then, I guess both, yeah.
Falklands, World War II.
Yeah, I guess so.
Yeah.
250 years.
Amazing.
Yeah.
So damn.
Anyway.
Because this is, this is the two.
sides of Japanese culture because even though as much as we say it's the night night bomb that
released them, they have always had the dual personality. Yes. It's always been samurai and
tea. Like they've they've they've had like the love of peach blossoms and poetry as well as like
fucking chopping heads off. Yeah, exactly. It's a country. Throughout the whole of their history
they've had. It's shoving an octopus up your family. Yeah. And then it's also what did your ancestors
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You know, committing it...
Not cooking that octopus and putting on a piece of rice.
Or it's like, don't forget.
fart at the table you kill yourself with or if you show appreciation of eating noodles you have to
yeah yeah yeah yeah to make a lot of noise i think that's more chinese i think no it's japanese as well
charlie when you were in japan did you have to show to show appreciation of the food you have to eat loudly
well it's quite often ask for knife and fork because i can't really use um chops spoons it was
embarrassing i made uh i had a lot of barbecues i made friends with some japanese families they
took me under their wing and they took me out in uh Tokyo yeah nice yeah they took me to like not the
red light district but like the tiny little
you know the covered area
the cupboard area the cupboard area there's a little
area there's like loads of cupboards basically
and I went in there with tiny bars
and you have like yakatori grills
yeah yeah went in there with some families
I met but Japanese are very different
culture to the Chinese which shocked me
but the Chinese are quite rude loud
and they shit in the street
and the Japanese are very polite
kill yourself if you do it
hygienic and stuff
and yet squid porn
hentai.
It's the dual nature of
Japan.
Inside Japan
is too
fucking...
Do you think if you're
having anal
in Japan to show
appreciation
you have to fart a lot?
Now is that
is that showing
appreciation?
I don't know
if that is showing
appreciation.
Ooh,
he's liking this.
Yeah,
I guess so.
I guess that's showing
appreciation.
It's polite, isn't it?
I guess it's polite.
I don't know.
You were raised right,
aren't you?
This isn't my...
is in my wheelhouse.
Charlie, is that?
I don't think it's very polite to far
on the women.
Well, in Japan, it might be
a point in the line.
We just can't know.
We can't know.
We can't know.
Hey?
No, we couldn't.
We couldn't possibly know.
We could go over.
I think I'd Google it
before I went over.
I reckon I'd try and error it
over there.
Yeah?
Let one rip.
I don't know about the anal physics
of doing such a thing.
I'm just wondering if they want you to
I think you're naturally fart because air will leave your bum.
Right.
But then it was, it depends how you define a fart.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Is it any air leaving your bum a fart?
We can't know.
Anyway, let's crack on to life in Eddo, Japan.
Sometimes you wish you didn't have Google just to let the mystery.
You know, we don't want to be able to Google some of these things.
Well, that's why we've got Charlie.
There are some things we can't know.
It feels like we're living in fucking 9097.
We might as well be.
We are doing.
doing this podcast from the 70s
because we don't have any technology.
Oh, goodness me.
Yes, it counts as a fart
to release air from your bum.
To simply release air from your bum.
Does it count as a fart
if you simply release air from your bum?
AIO review.
I wonder if AI is developing
like, I think AI must be upset
with like pissed off at us
because what we make this machine
super intelligence do.
We've said it back years.
Machine learning is.
gone back years
with what Charlie's doing it.
Yeah, it does count.
Thank you.
Regardless of whether or not you tried.
But it's more about
if it's polite in Japan
when receiving anales of fart
to show your enjoyment.
I think it isn't.
I think I'm going to...
And also, I'd rather leave that as a mystery.
I don't think we need to know.
Let us know in the comments.
If you're Japanese...
Don't do this.
Let's get back.
We can't...
Generally...
Sorry.
AI.
Overview, being so polite
and thoughtful.
Generally, farting on abuse is not considered polite, tasteful or desirable a sexual encounter.
However, whether or not a specific act is acceptable is entirely dependent on the boundaries, comfort and preference of the individuals.
And the nations, the cultural wars of the nation.
We might not forget, we're talking about Japan.
It's an alien culture to men in the West.
You're meant to eat your food loudly?
You're meant to be bummed?
Farterly.
Maybe.
I don't know.
We can't.
We can't know.
We can't know.
anyway
so the piece
that IASU has established
means that
Edo Japan flourishes
and this is the real
this is where arguably
this is where
brand Japan
sort of really flourishes
Cool Japan
yeah
yeah
yeah so
now there are
because the amount of Japanese
influence on culture now
is too much
you reckon
I think it's too much
yeah
but it's extraordinary
because you kind of
it's so much that you forget
you think about the American
hegemony on all things.
Globally, it's probably
Japan's second.
Well, yeah, what? You've got Pokemon.
You've got Pokemon. You've got
Squid porn. Squid porn.
Sony, yeah.
Any sort of animated stuff.
Spirits in a way, Studio Ghibli.
But then even
fashion. Even taking
something like whiskey or watchmaking
they make the best and like
mid-range stuff.
The key features of Edda, Japan, include a strict
social hierarchy, which we should go through because it's quite
funny. The rigid social hierarchy,
now this is developed under the third
shogun who's called
I don't care. I'm it's
Ian. Ian, he's called Ian.
He's called Ian. Thank you, Charlie. Yeah. They've gone away
with the pretentious names now, finally.
The Shinokosho system. Sorry? Ian Ittsu.
Ian Ittu. Ian Ittu. He founded Ittu.
Yeah. Yeah. The Shinikosho
system, sort of minimal
social mobility, just as I like.
it. So the samurai is about
8% of the population, peasants about 80
Intermarriage between classes
They don't really come to the story at all the peasants
They're like nearly all the people
Yeah, intermarriage is restricted
That they also ban peasants from eating rice
And they saved that for the samurai
Yeah, they weren't even allowed to eat rice
So you've got emperor and nobility at the top
Then the Shogun then the Daimyo and the samurai
So Shogun's below nobility
Yeah, but again the nobility is all like
You know, it's just people at the court
but the Shogun feels way more powerful.
But he's the prime minister.
Okay.
In the way that Prince Andrew
still has some rank over Kirstama.
You reckon?
But I mean it's like a, it's like a cult.
Yeah, socially.
Socially.
Then you've got the peasants.
This is interesting.
Then you've got craftsmen, so builders.
Right.
So craftsmen are below peasants.
Yes.
Right.
So basically it's samurai farmers, craftsmen and artisans.
Yeah.
Then it goes actors, and then it's merchants.
Merchants, below actors.
So anyone who makes money is like deemed the bottom.
It's like you're taking other people's work and you're selling it.
You're not making your own thing.
So this is in respect.
It's not necessarily power.
Yeah.
It's about just the respectfulness of it.
Well, it's kind of a class system.
Yeah.
Because then you also have these people called Burakuman.
And this is like an outcry.
I'd say you're Burakuman.
No, Charlie's Burakuman.
You're an outcast group.
Yeah.
And you're outside.
the official class system
and you're physically indistinguishable
from other Japanese but you're considered
unclean and
because your jobs associated with
basically dirty things animal slaughter
executioners right
okay so these are kind of
seen as defiling Buddhism because you're
causing suffering. Yes okay
by being sesame many yes
yeah people walk past you and go
this is before the mention of Rolong
to place this we haven't placed this
before the mention of Rolam deodron
so that's why this class exists
and it's after
I guess it's
it's after Richard
the third fucked his horse
yes so again
horses are around
people are fucking them
but there's no role on deodorant
I don't think there's even spray on deodorant
it's a very smelly time exactly
there's a lot of raw fish going about
so these
occupations such as tanners, butchers
undertakers, grave diggers
slaughterhouse workers.
There's a hereditary impression.
So in like medieval...
You're born into it.
You're born into being a butcher.
Really?
You're born an executioner.
That's your class.
Reverse.
Like negative nepo baby.
Yeah.
And then people are abusing you in the street
because you're a five-year-old executioner.
Isn't it crazy?
Yeah.
It's interesting because the medieval English feudal system,
like Tanners, stuff like that,
they wouldn't be viewed like this, right?
No.
Quite a lot.
Not only merchants, but like so many of these roles
are so important to her society runs
and they're being so disrespected.
It's quite interesting.
So they're kind of tolerated
during the Sengoku period
because they're like
letters needed for armour and saddles and stuff.
Yeah.
But the piece during the eddo period
means that there's a margin for leather drops
so then they kind of just like
outcast them into their own little towns and stuff.
They're treated, they're like prostitutes basically.
Well, prostitutes are Christian prostitutes.
Yeah, but prostitutes are actually incredibly respected.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
But it's all, it's upside down.
It's upside downland.
It's upside downland.
that's the class system
so now let's go
well should we go to gender
gender and social customs
that's good
so in terms of like
the social customs of the age
after marriage
women shaved their eyebrows
and blackened their teeth
to mark that they were
wasn't basically ruining themselves
so no one else wants to fuck them
I guess so
not even their husband
yeah
it's weird one isn't it
yeah sort of tattooing a burke
onto your face basically
on your teeth
yeah
and then obviously divorce is common
because men are feeling
slightly ripped off
Yep, let's get married
Christ
Now I want to have sex with me
Oh brilliant
Brilliant
Yeah now I'm definitely not going to cheat on you
Great
A husband could issue a quote
Migutarihan
Which is a three and a half line divorce letter
Yeah
With little ceremony
So it's pretty like progressive
Women can ask for divorce
Like in Christian culture
That's pretty
That's a massive no-no
Until like fucking 20 years ago
yeah yeah basically so suicide in christian culture is a massive no-no as well yeah so is it yeah it's upside
it's upside down it's um so edo osaka kioto is becoming these big uh urban centers yeah 1700
ed is the biggest city in the world as ever when there's peace there's boring theater the kubuki
kabuki so sorry early kibuki is associated with prostitution um women are banned from the stage in 1629
because it's too horny right and this is a place to be boring yeah it's yeah it's yeah it's
Yeah, Outcry of Moral Form.
This is more speaking our language.
This is very Oliver Cromwell.
Similar time.
It is a very similar time.
It's restoration.
It's mid-1600s.
That's racist.
Yeah, I think that's a bit much.
That's white face.
Do you describe that for the listeners?
Yeah, sorry, it's just traditional Japanese.
It's just kind of the stuff that me and Finn do on the Patreon, really.
Especially this week.
Yeah.
And I think it's very inappropriate that they're doing that.
Yeah.
That's a bit on the nose, isn't it?
That is a bit on the nose.
We get it.
You're Japanese.
Fuck me.
Come on, man.
Calm down
It's like live action cartoons
Yeah
So
They had to
There was moral outrage
Because there was only fights breaking out
Because men
Had never seen
Actresses with makeup on basically
Right
Like seemingly
It's funny just seeing an actress
On stage
It turning you on so much
That you start a bar fight
Especially in that makeup
They just basically painted themselves white
And people are like
Oh fuck
Yeah
Yeah
So it's like going to the West End
to see Wicked
And someone turns you on
And so you start punching the guy next to you
I don't think I've ever been turned on at the theatre
No
God no
We turned off
Yeah
Switched off
Yeah completely
Just a reset button
Yeah
So although having said that
Young male actors called Wackashoo
They took female roles in their place
And the Wackashu actors
Are admired for their beauty
And often doubled as sexual companions
For patrons
Right so you'd see them in a play
and then get to fuck them.
That's quite interesting.
I mean, I'd go to the theatre more
if that was sort of thing.
I could go and see, like, Michael Sheen
and then fuck him afterwards.
This is soon banned, though.
It's the same issues of the constitution.
But it's like the beginning of a porn video
where they're trying to build story.
Yeah.
And you're like, skip, skip, skip.
But imagine that's the live, that's live theatre.
It's boring, boring, skip.
It's Michael Sheen and King Lear.
At the globe.
And you're all just there going, skip, skip, skip, skip, can we get at the interval.
I want to fuck Michael Sheen.
so kabuki actors become cultural celebrities
prints the wooden the wooden block thing
they carve wooden block some form of art thing
a long history of that which is what feeds into the anime
which is when the American Disney art of animation
meets their long history of wood carving in prints
that's what creates the they make a print that students
now have everywhere on t-shirts
some waves exactly and that's what they did it for
because they have a thing called oh yeah
ukioi
which means
pictures of the floating world
now the floating world
is I think
all the prostitution stuff
it's seeing as
it's upside down the world
it's the red light district
but it's not seen as
this seedy thing
it's seen as a
sort of like purgatory
right so they would often
sit as they'd have it
floating literally on like a
yeah there'd be a barrier of water
yeah and it was like
to get into this
sort of floating brothel
not anyone
was allowed in you had to pass tests
it was like there was like a lot of respect for the
prostitutes in there
that you'd often get rejected to see how much you really want
to them respecting prostitutes
it's upside down lads
the past is another country
you think about like Jack the Ripper where any
unmarried woman is a prostitute and therefore
awful yeah this is very far
from like having a floating palace for prostitution
I can't relate I just can't relate to it at all
and they had to come and bring gifts
or like art pieces to try and
you know help fund the brothel
isn't that crazy like a national heritage
site. But isn't that crazy? Isn't that the exact opposite
of the prostitute? What?
You don't have to buy them presents.
Isn't that literally?
But you think about it all feeds into modern Japanese
culture because they do things like they have those like
companions, the boyfriends, you know, the rent a boyfriend.
Well, they're not just that. You can rent people to
grieve at funerals. In Japan?
Yeah. If you don't have enough friends
to go to your funeral, you can pay
basically like emotional actors to come and cry
at your dad's funeral to make it seem like he's missed.
than he is.
That's nice.
There's a lovely touch.
But it's the same, yeah, it's the same thing.
It's just amazing.
I'm in the West.
We view prostitution as like a dirty, low life form where, and yet in Japan, you'd have
to go and, you know, you'd have to engage them in conversation.
Yeah.
And these women wouldn't just be sex symbols.
They'd be intellectually very beautiful.
But weirdly, you have to woo them.
That's what I mean.
Like normal women.
And you've got to pay them as well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But, I mean, it comes from the history because in the 10th century in their other golden age,
It's very funny, the courting stuff, where basically you wouldn't see, because the early Japan, it was so delicate and elegant and everyone was writing poetry, really advanced, sophisticated, social, strange norms.
But it would be like you wouldn't ever see the woman, right?
So maybe they'd ride in like a carriage and just have like a gown hanging out.
That would be here.
And so the idea of that, if you're a nobleman, you'd start writing her endless poetry, right?
And you'd just be write poems, poems, poems, have no idea what she looks like.
and her house would be like a burker
like she'd be hidden within all these rooms
and then when she finally gives you the go-ed
you sneak in when the lights are off
and you have sex with her
and you don't find out what she looks like
until your wedding day
I mean that's basically marriage now
sneaking in with the lights off
living outside
now the courtesans we will be doing on the Patreon
we'll be doing a day in the life
of a Japanese courtesan
as our bonus episode this week
so this is kind of the gone edge of the gay show
is coming into this period?
Yeah, geishers and course sounds
are slightly different
but we'll get into that
but
peasant families
would sell their daughters
to pleasure houses
to pay off the debts
and they're expected to begin work
as soon as they hit puberty
yeah, Bonnie Blue's parents
yep
that's starting to read more
yeah exactly yeah
yeah
prostitutes would amputate their fingers
to give us presents
to their favourite clients
or show devotion
and rather than waste their digit
right
well that doesn't quite
so prostitutes chop of a finger to their
as a present to their clients
right not to call a prostitute easy
in any way these ones are some of the most difficult
prostitutes in the world in many ways
you're going one and then she's got no fingers
yeah there's the girl for an experience
I don't know if I'm special
if you've only got thumbs left
yeah and also I might want a thumb up my ass
not a fist so I would like to have some dexterity
yeah it seems like a big show of devotion
but here we go rather than waist digits
high-level prostitutes would buy them off beggars or cut them from corpses.
That's just absolutely what you do.
That's brilliant.
And so an underground economy for human body parts develops.
It's quite fun.
Nice.
Now, Gaysha become sort of distinct from courtesans because they're more like entertainers.
And I guess they're more like cabaret to the strippers.
I guess that's the difference.
And Japanese sense of humor.
So there seems to be like an entertainment culture growing in Japan.
But they don't have like the Japanese sense of humor is quite a strange one, right?
Yes.
I don't think they're the
naturally the funniest people
apart from on maybe their game shows
that's where the real humour comes out
where they have all like
there's an amazing Japanese game show
or just a clip from it
where it'd be like
they just filmed down this big alleyway
in Tokyo and they wait until
there's one person walking alone
and they have about 200 people
waiting around the corner
and 200 people run down at full speed
and you just see
screaming yeah and you just see someone
what would you do if you're already on alleyway
And everyone just
And everyone just runs.
And that's good stuff.
That is good stuff.
So the...
And when is Takeshi's Castle?
When does that...
This is before Takeshi's Castle.
Pre-Takesh's Castle.
I think Dekechish's Castle,
that's maybe at the end
of this period of history.
Keshe's Castle, I watch that a lot as a kid.
I absolutely love to Keshe's Castle.
But very culturally significant
because I do think that's the pre-Cutters
Squid game, a lot of these things.
Yes.
Mr. Beast games.
All of these things come off the back of...
Totally.
Takeshi's Castle
So the
Uki-O-E woodblock
They are pictures of the floating world
Of the kind of
Prostute houses
And they're affordable prints
That are erotic scenes
Charlie could you find some shunga
Some woodblock shunga
This is early hentai
I guess
Carved into wood
Just imagine the horniness
of someone carving an erotic wood
Man
They've got wood
They're carving woods
They're trying not to buff
And can you find, Charlie, I want you to see if you can find any squid chunga.
Where does the octopus as a sex object come into Japanese culture?
Is it as early as the 17th century?
What's that?
Is that squid porn?
You're joking?
Fuck me.
We found it.
Right.
Is that ancient squid porn?
We found ancient squid porn.
This is from 1991.
Okay.
Right.
Never mind.
Are you sure?
I mean, there's all sorts.
1903.
1903, that's pretty early.
This is,
I don't know when that's from.
So they've always had the horn for an octopus or a square.
1870.
Damn.
Is this still the Edo period, 1870?
That's the restoration, just.
But look, a Japanese woodblock print, octopus chunga.
So octopus porn has been going since the mid-19th century.
They have a venerable history of octopus porn.
Charlie, could you ask chat GPT for a kind of cultural explanation of octopus port?
Why is Japan unique, why specifically Japan so?
you know
so enraptured with squid porn
octopus but why is it a sexual
thing the octopus
their view of sex as well
is much more casual than
British people's views right
because this is well
British people are much more conservative
in the sense that it's a much less big deal
yeah okay that first one is actually
the most famous root of octopus porn
and it's 1814 1814 the dream
of the fisherman's wife that first one that's 1814
The dream of the fisherman's wife.
And that's, it's called Taka Taka Tama.
Wow.
It depicts a female pearl diver in a section embrace with two octopuses, octopi.
The sea was mysterious fertile, sometimes dangers, make it a potent metaphor for desire and fear.
Pearl divers were already sexualized figures in Japanese art, young women diving nude,
pairing them with marine creatures, was both erotic and otherworldly,
and the tentacles were a kind of loophole for obscenity laws.
Oh, that's it.
Interesting.
Obscenity laws come in after the restoration.
Western style.
Yeah, which we'll get to it.
We'll get to in our next episode.
That makes so much sense.
So the tentacle becomes a loophole for penises because of obscenity laws.
Right.
Right.
We cracked it.
That's what I wanted to get out of this series.
I wanted to understand Squidbourne and now I can.
Yeah.
So now that I can't show Cox.
I can tell my wife.
This is actually, there's a reason for this.
There's a stuff you found.
There's a reason why I've got this on the TV.
I'm a Japanophile.
anyway
shunga are wildly popular
across classes
depicting both heterosexual
gay and octopus encounters
and we'll get to
we'll get to the sort of shockingness later
so we know we need to talk about the dog shogun
and we should talk about sumo as well
yeah so sumo coming in at this point
sumo becomes codified
is in sumo's been happening for a while
it's been like a kickabout you know when you're just like kicking a ball
around yeah on your road
it's just a couple of fat guys fighting
for a couple hundred years.
It's a funny idea of
what is non-codified sumo
is just a pub fight from two
a couple of fat guys fighting
and then some guy
some genius goes
I reckon people
have paid money for that
yeah
sticking nappy on him
stick a napy on that fat bloke
and see you
did you go to see sumo
when you're out there
no I didn't actually
I didn't see any
I think we tried to it
it's a seasonal thing I think
yeah
the noise they make
it's like warrous mating
it's gorgeous
I watched a bit of sumo
because my
old flatmate's a big Japanophile
and he went out and watched him
and then you can still watch them live
they don't get paid very much
they're nearly always from like Mongolia or the
Starns or something like that
and it's more of a folk thing
it's all like Morris dancing it's not like
yeah the Morris dancing
that's what we've got
yeah it's so not this
you know when I grew up there was Morris dancers
yeah and it's fucking old blokes
who drink cider with red nose
is skipping with bells on
it's twee it's annoying
this is proper
this is proper
Blocke, nappy
flower
It idolized the big fat fuck
Yeah
Assumo are they sex symbols
I would say there's a sexiness to sumos
What's sort of charging into women
Yeah yeah I think there's something to it
Sure
Sorry is there a female
Female subdivision is there a female
There is yeah there's female sumo
Please get that up
Let's see these units
If there's anything I want to
I never want to see anything more actually
Than two female sumo wrestlers
Oh these are Western
These aren't big enough
These are you call yourself a sumo
That's like a
fucking anti-natal
class.
Anorexic sumo
wrestlers.
Come on.
I want to see some...
Here we go.
Yeah.
That's AI, isn't it?
Is that AI?
Yeah, it's definitely AI.
Come on.
Come on.
I want to see some big women.
I want to see some big women smash into each other.
World women sumo.
Thank you.
Okay.
Still not as big as you'd want.
There we go.
Russia.
Russia.
Go on the Russia.
Mother Russia.
I want to see two
big units smash into each other.
I think I've just found my
my new fetish.
She sat on your face
No, I wanted to charge at me
Oh gosh, gosh
Well, I mean that was a mismatch from the offer
I mean, what do you expect?
What do you expect? Absolutely unit
So the goal is to push the other one out the circle
Yeah, right, so it's just the biggest one wins
That's it, yeah, isn't it?
There's not much skill, is it really
No, I don't think so
Just seems to charge
Anyway, back to Octopus Porn
So we need to get to the 47 Ronin
Which is a big thing that happens in this period
So this is the start of the 18th century
so Lord Asano Naginori
who is dying out of a small region
he's tasked with hosting some envoys
from the Imperial Court
and he's taught to learn etiquette
etiquette very important
but tensions escalates
over some bribes and insults
and then inside Eddo Castle
Asano loses his temper
and attacks Kira
who's the other person with a sword
and this is you can't draw your sword
in the castle
that's treason
right so he's ordered to commit
Spuku that same day
and they conflagos his lands
and there's hundreds of people now
masterless samurai
and so a year later
47 of the Ronin
or his former samurai
they plot revenge
and they take menial jobs
and like disguise themselves
for over a year
They're going to deep cover
deep deep cover
Right
maybe they marry they have families
And then suddenly
on the snowy night of the 30th
January 703 they storm
Kira's mansion in Eddo.
They kill Kira,
presents his head at the temple
where Asano is buried,
and then after the Ronan had avenged their lord
by killing Kira,
all the public opinions on their side,
because they're like the events they're death.
Yeah, because they love loyalty.
Loyalty is like,
they never get fucking turned on my loyalty.
And they turn themselves in immediately,
and the shogunate faces this dilemma
because obviously the public loved them
because of their loyalty,
but if you pardon them,
it undermines everything.
So, as a compromise,
Sapuku.
And everyone's like, that's a brilliant.
fair's fair they've had to commit supuku that's only fair yeah and we should just to end this
episode deal with what supuku happens now because what happens to supu now is it become as much
more formalized like sumo wrestling supuco is codified in this period there is a ritual aspect to it
so it's not so much just killing yourself to avoid capture it's killing yourself as a way of atoning
for stuff and it's like it's witnessed and it's seen by yeah it's like witnessing a document yes
exactly yeah it's a legal thing yeah okay um i need my housemate to witness the signature and then
there's the goodness world records there for the most supuos you've got to get the guy you got
the guy's got to witness that synchronized spooker yeah um so you cut the abdomen open which is believed
to house the person's spirit sure um it's not always private now the most recent sapu so there's a
there's a guy well there's an olympian who did it in the um in 2001 uh because he um his company went under
and he just did it right this guy
Kimitaki Hiroaka
right he's like an author who won
who nominated for Nobel Prize in literature
five times yeah he's also an
ultra nationalist yeah yeah far right
ideology and it's very
controversial so he's basically like uh
when Japan fully cut over to America
and he was uh
he was a part of the Japanese
against that of like
going back to Japan's stance during World War II
ultra nationalistic
Yeah, he's basically alive in there, he, he, he, and he wants to go back to the
Yeah, yeah.
So in in 1945, after the night, night, to bed, after that, Japan, the Americans write a
constitution for Japan, and they say you can't have an army, and he is trying to overhaul that
and says that we should revoke that article of the constitution.
So in 1970, he goes to a military place in Tokyo with four others, barricades the door to an office,
gives his prepared speech
on a balcony to the soldiers
about how he's trying to inspire a coup
to restore direct rule to the emperor
over all the constitution
um
helicopters drowned out to the parts of the speech
yeah he irritates the soldiers
who heckle him
um he shouts where is the spirit of the samurai
gone retreats to the office
apologised to the commandant
and there's a commit to book
I mean that is the spirit of the samurai
his chosen second was unable to cut off his head
after three failed attempts
someone had to step in and complete the task
you don't want that
but what's amazing is you not reckon
they just will have shot him or is it's
ritual it's ritual that's what I mean is that
once someone starts does someone else have to cut
his head off I mean this is your big moment
you want it to be dramatic
theatrical yeah it's not the same
if you just get blasted in the head
it's not the same as being part
of this long line of Japanese people
cut themselves open with a katana
someone has to step in and be khaki him
oh sorry supu
oh sorry oh sorry
right come on guys
he needs help here
he's out
he's like no
please no
cut my head off
oh sorry
anyway
so urban culture
flourishes in the eddo period
what hip hop and stuff
hip hop
graffiti
graffiti
skate parks are flourishing everywhere
the Japanese doing some sick
parkour
yeah
yeah
and you know
trainers
quarters and squid porn
we found it
woodblock prints
all that stuff
but in our next
episode our final part
of this
Fuel Japan series, we will see
how Japan's policy of isolation
ultimately, although it may make
their culture very strong, ultimately
forces them to open up
and restore the emperor.
Now that episode's already on our Patreon
where for £3 a month you can become
a truther and get early access to episodes,
add free listening, and also
you make some friends who also 3D print
katana swords. On to the inner rectum.
The inorectum of this podcast.
And it smells just as bad as some
on Zina rectum.
Anyway, thanks for listening.
See you next time
from our last part
of Feudal Japan.
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