Fin vs History - A Human Lasagna Left Out In The Sun | Idi Amin (Part 1/4)

Episode Date: March 9, 2026

Introducing Idi Amin - the man loved oranges, Gadaffi, and crime. Idi Amin (Part One)   The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened.   For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon  ⁠patreon.com/fintaylor  Chapters: 00:00 - Eat Da Poo Poo  06:10 - You Can’t Circumcise Women  10:13 - How Many 7 Year Olds?  17:02 - Idi’s Telling Fibs  21:00 -  Choppy Choppy   26:00 - Bum Beer Bottle  30:13 - Long Road To Suez  35:18 - Africa Core  39:54 - Girl Dinner!   44:04 - Making Memories  47:25 - Ten Teenagers!   52:35 - Money Moving In De Air  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It's a big fortnight. We are finally in Uganda. Yeah. We're dealing with Big Daddy. Yep. Idi Amin. Daddy cool. I love this man.

I do love this man. I di love this man. This man, my daddy. I didn't know anything about Idi Amin, really, but he's charmed me. Is he charmed me? He's completely charmed me. Long-time listeners of this podcast will know that we have great affection for Gaddafi.

Sure. Probably the go in terms of dictators we've dealt with. At the moment, for sure. At the moment. I think this is the first time

when I've thought, I think I could leave Gaddafi for Big Daddy. Well, they hung out together. I know. He comes into the story. It is the dream blunt rotation. It really is.

Good Daffy and Iddy. Good cop, bad cop. Gaddafi. It was bad cop, bad cop. Bad cop. Yeah. Yes. We're also in Uganda,

which, I mean, you know, my Instagram algorithm is, as you know, it's colourised photos of the Third Reich because I'm straight. It's AI-generated women in bikinis

that I fall for and comment, where are you today? And then it is Africa Corps. And that's not Rommel's tank version. Wait, is this not Rudija nostalgia, is it? No, no, no. No, it's not...

It's not apartheid core. It's Africa core, which is all the videos of African politicians saying something wild. Right. And it turns out they are all Ugandan. Really? And I think we can say safely that Uganda has the funniest political culture of anywhere in the world.

Probably. And I think it's, I'm trying to. It's colourful. I was trying to work out why it's so funny. And I think it's because no one has committed more with less media training than a Ugandan politician. Maybe the most vibes based? Purely.

In the world. All of them are Ugandan. All of them. Cryptocurrency. Money moving. the air. You seen that one? No.

Oh, there's the Ugandan treasurer. There's like so many clips. The treasurer of Uganda. There's so many clips of him. Don't worry. Ladies and gentlemen, the economy is, whoa. He's unbelievable. No, I know, but he leaves it up there as well.

And then he gets asked like, Minister, you see you're going to create one million jobs. How are you going to do it? Oh, so many reasons. Yeah, here we go. Yeah. His name is Matti. someone.

Money moving in the air. That's the Chancellor of it's Jacker. So is this Rachel Reeves? This is Rachel Reeves. There's also the guy... Have you seen the clip? Rachel wouldn't be so hated

if she was going money moving into air. That's what I mean is that I want a politics. It's fun. They commit. They're not media trained. It's the opposite of... We've had no growth in six months, Rachel. Yes, but money is moving in the air.

Everybody look. The guy, have you seen the clip of the guy going, corruption is not bad. No. Corruption is only bad if I am not involved. But if I am part of that corruption, I'll defend it. He's a Ugandan policy. All of them are, all of them are Ugandan.

Yeah. And I think it might be because, yeah, it's this guy. Corruption is not bad. See, Uganda? Corruption is only bad if I'm not involved. Yes. But if I'm part of that corruption, I defend it

Right, so the reason why I think all these videos exist and Uganda political culture is so funny is because maybe Idi Amin is perhaps the genuinely funniest man who's ever ruled a country Yeah, he's got pure charisma Undeniable

Gaddafi is funny Because he wants to be taken seriously Edia mean knows he's funny Yeah And he's like fucking with people Yeah He's also doing a lot I mean there's a lot of fruity stuff

He's a funny school bully Yeah Yeah He's fucking ginormous. Oh, Ugandan mud wrestling, yeah. What about Eat de Poo? Is that guy, Ugandan? I don't know if I've seen that. I've not seen this. Oh, my God. Do eat the... You know, eat the poop.

No. Oh, my God. Look at this. Find out where this is from. I can't believe I'm showing you this. Oh, this guy. You know this? He is Ugandan. No way. Maybe he's Kenyan. Like this by the other person, like ice cream.

And then what happens, even the poo comes out. The other than the poo is out. And then they eat the poo. The other one they do Is it a happy Yeah Oh my God Oh my God Pause pause

That is one of the funniest cuts Sorry Sorry sorry He is Ugandan But what I mean is that Our political culture Has been It's been dulled

To the point That I'm not interested Yeah If we had Apathy is everywhere Eat the Pooh-Poo-Ganda If we had An Eat-A-Poo-Poo

Conference If Nigel Farage was out there Yeah Eat a pooh Eat a pooh He's the one that goes In my tribe If a man

Introduced to another man Ma Ma'm It genuinely I see all those videos These videos at least three times We haven't even talked about Their Pierce Morgan Who is

Why are you gay Oh course That he's Uganda The country Oh my God It's unbelievable It's unbelievable It's hit after hit

After hit It's fucking It's the Mow Town It just will Does not stop Uganda is the funniest Political Culture

There's ever been and there ever will be and I think it part comes down to the personality of the man we're talking about today Ediamine or is he a conduit did he rise out out of

were they always this funny I don't know you throw a rock and you'd hit an Idi I mean seemingly it seems like everyone you speak to is an EDIR mean but it seems like was you know

before television were Ugandan's being this funny yeah I don't know I don't know how they've got so funny yeah well I guess we'll we'll try to uncover that in this episode to Uganda. It is in East Africa, it borders what?

Kenya, Tanzania, Sudan. And at the bottom, there's Lake Victoria, which borders Zimbabwe, Zambia. So I think it's one of the first, Edie Amin, Big Daddy. He rules Uganda from 1971 to 1978, I think. So the Heath, Wilson years.

Yes, very different years. There's not a lot of eat the poohpoo. Wilson is not going. To be fair. Eat da poopo. Ain't or leaking. To be fair, I think Marcia might be making Harold Wilson eat de poohpoo.

Eat de poohu, you little cunt. You little can't. Ma, ma, ma. Anyway, so before we get to 1971, let's deal with Uganda, which is one of the last colonies that is added to the British Empire. And one of the last to go, right?

You have, it's just off, Zanzibar, just off the coast of Africa. That's like slavery ground zero. Right. That's where they start doing all the slaves. slavery and that's where everyone thinks, well, this is a great idea and then they move into it. So it's very involved in the slave trade. That's like the Manhattan Project, Zanzibar, but for slavery.

Yes. That's where they came up with it. Yeah. Yeah. And so it becomes the sort of the heartland of the slave trade, East Africa. The Brits arrive in the mid-19th century. This is the biggest traditional circumcision ceremony in Africa. It's a circumcising festival.

Is it like Glastonbury? It's about getting your lid chopped off. Yeah. I do hope that's male It looks quite joyous What's the line up this year? Is it male or female? I'm going to skip it

No Male's a bit of fun Female is maybe the opposite of the best of fun I like the early stuff I think since they moved on It's like that radio head pivot When they went to KDA I didn't like FGM, it wasn't for me Kid A was a bit weird I found

There's a thing called the endurance test Where candidates must face the knife Without flinching or showing any sign of pain to prove their bravery. And before the ceremony, the candidates, they call candidates, are paraded through villages.

And again, is it men or women, Charlie? I'd rather watch Bastille, to be honest. I think it's just men. It looks like it's just men. Okay.

That's all right. That's just guys hanging out. You can't circumsize a woman, can you? Charlie, we've been through this on a patron episode. You can genetically modify it. No, you can't.

It's not genetically modified. It's genital mutilation. It's not, GM crops. They're not GMed women. That's not what you call them. Right. Anyway.

Sorry. Join the patron if you'd like to hear the moment the penny drop, which is one of my favorite moments in the podcast ever. When you Google's there and goes, oh no. Anyway,

so the British arrive in the mid-19th century. It is a scramble for Africa, which take me back. Yeah. I love the scramble for Africa. My second favorite scramble after eggs. It's sort of like scrabble for Africa, actually, because it's the Europeans playing scrabble

and Africa's the board, really. Yeah, exactly. And what letters? I get a long word down here. The name Uganda, should you talk about this? The name Uganda isn't even anything to do with the... So there's a big kingdom with it inside what's now Uganda called Buganda. Burganda.

Boganda. Bosbem. Bound. Bound. Bambambi bin. Bunganda. Brian Baudonde was one of the first explorers. But no, but the Swahili's don't pronounce the B. And the Swahilis were taught...

who are, I think mainly Kenya or Tanzania. They were talking to the Brits. They led them in there. And so they call it Uganda. So the Brits were like, well, fucking Uganda. But the Bougandans, like, Borg ban on, you're not banging in the Bairn. Be B'all Bamban. Bamban.

Yeah, we, Borgamden. See, the thing is that that's always brought up as sort of cloning of ignorance, but it's not like anyone corrected. At Desjardin, our business is helping yours. We are here to support your business through every stage of growth, from your first pitch to your first acquisition. Whether it's improving cash flow or exploring investment banking solutions, with Desjardin business, it's all under one roof.

So join the more than 400,000 Canadian entrepreneurs who already count on us. And contact Desjardin today. We'd love to talk. Business. No. Anyone. Or they got upset at any voice. But then if they were, if Ugandaners were, b, bib, bubba, then they'd be like, well, they'd be like,

bang on a bit, bop b'ababba. Bipo bengar. Anyway. Bye, abu, babe. Bye, by your be. Bapapobption. Be bita boopo. Bain on picking.

In 1894, the protectorate of Uganda is established. Now, Uganda does not have as much mineral wealth as the other British colonies, but it is quite a unique climate for sub-Saharan Africa. It's a bit higher up. Well, it's right in the middle, sort of. Yeah, it's the interior. I mean, it's getting into heart of darkness, isn't it? The source of the Nile is in Uganda, right?

Yes, that's late Victoria. And that's why it was the last place to be discovered because they looked at everything around from every... So this is Livingston and Stanley trying to connect the railway. But it's very good for growing coffee and crops. So it's a very

luscious green part of sub-Saharan Africa. And so quite quickly the Brits start growing a lot of coffee. The main part of Uganda is Buganda and then there's sort of tribal stuff in the north. Yeah, because the borders of Uganda

are completely manufactured. Yes. Nonsense, really. There's loads of different kingdoms. They wouldn't really know. Uganda doesn't really work as a collective entity. It was just invented by the British.

Yeah, there's a story of a guy being told. Right, that's lunch. There's a story of a guy being told to find the mouth of a river. Or like, if a river goes this way, it's Congo. If it goes this way, it's Uganda. And he goes, what, there's not a river?

And the guy goes, we just have a piss and see which way it flows. So he does that and draw, that's the border of Uganda. He pisses the border of Uganda. Yeah, basically. He traces it. And people now die for that border.

Yeah. From a British guy who did a piss in 1894. So for 500 years, the kingdom of Bugander profited from Brayde, but bound the Brake Blakes. So you had the Kabaka, who was the king. And when we talk about Ediamine's rise to power, there's sort of three figures. We're going to cover a lot of history in this episode. There's Ediamine, there's Milton Abote, and then there's King, King Freddy.

Yeah. And King Freddy is the Kabaka, who is the king of Buganda. The traditional tribal king. Yeah. Of the most kind of, he's sort of, if Bouganda is like the England of the UK. Right. In that it's the sort of economic cultural engine. Southeast, it's Surrey.

Yeah. Yeah. In the home counties. Yeah. But they're Ugandan. Now Bougander's king, when the British start coming in, he starts wearing a suit. And so the Brits are like, well, this guy's a terrific chap. And so he then used, the British then used the Bougainter is.

to invade other kingdoms and they give the Bugandan's land. And so colonial rule is already deepening a kind of north-south divide between Bugandan. Burgandas had a real alliance to the British and managed to get a lot out of it, basically. So the north where Ediamine is born is much poorer and it's more, there's less infrastructure. And the south is the quickly becomes the sort of economic centre. So Ediamine is born at some point in the mid-90s. We don't know when. So the north-south is like the north-south in England, basically.

Yes. Lack of infrastructure, lack of education. Yeah. They're massive. They are supposedly they are all bigger in the north of Uganda. And India, I mean, it's fucking huge. If we find out how actually tall he was, Charlie. I mean, he's... Maybe the biggest dictator of all time?

Definitely. 1.93 meters. What's that in feet? I mean, how much did he weigh? At his pomp, nearly 300 pounds. 130 kilograms. Which... Can we go heaviest dictator of all time?

Can we just see if we get anything off the top of that? Gemma Collins. Okay, Gemma Collins is not a dictator. to Charlie. But I guess this is, this is the, you know. How much does Gemma Collins weigh?

23 stone. Okay. We're using a lot of different measurements. It's quite different. The normal one? Well, I'd just like it all. I'd like it all in kilos or stone.

Idiot I mean, Kim Jong-il. No, he's not as fat. Surely not. Heaviest. No, Idiot, I mean, he's probably the heaviest dictator of all the time.

So I think a lot of our favorite series have been dictators. Yes. We do need, once we've done all the big ones, we do need to do a retrospective. Of course, top, top gear leaderboard. Yeah. Or like, you know when you played like with football and they had all those trophies, even the fake ones just to make you feel included.

Yeah. We used to do that for detainters. So the average seven-year-old in the UK weighs 23 kilograms and I mean weighs 1, 130 kilograms. Yeah. So that's what? How many seven-year-olds? So again, my issue, Charlie, is that I've asked for

Killa, five, seven-year-olds. I've asked for consistent measurement of weight. There you've given me kilos and stones. And Gemma Collins. And now you're giving me seven-year-olds. Five seven-year-olds. Right, okay. So how many seven-year-olds is Gemma Collins?

She would be... Let's calculate that. We must get this right. The listener is at C. The listener does not know... Sorry, Charlie's there with an abacus trying to work us out. She is... At her heaviest.

146 kilograms, so she's heavy than I mean. Wow. No, no. She is. I know. At her heaviest. At her heavy, at her height No, surely not.

She's one seven-year-old heavier than Idi Amin. She's not heavier than Nidiamin. Now, I don't want to body shame anyone, but personally, I would say if I'm getting close to Idi Amin, I'm going on a diet. I think if I'm, you know, if I'm ever touching Amin, at his lightest, I'm going on a diet. I would rather be more sadats.

How heavy was Stam? But she did lose, she lost a seven-year-old, not in birth. Excuse me? She now weighs. She left her at a pub. He lost 23 kilograms. Are you telling me she's lost weight or her child died? This is the problem with this unit of measurement.

Her child. She's lost weight. Fuck's sake. You can see why we started counting weight in kilos and stones, can't you? Rather than child. I've lost my seven-year-old child. Congrats. I've abandoned my child.

I've lost weight. You look great. You look stunning. Right. So... He's heavy. Can we just find out how... He's not.

it was heavy as Jeremy Collins so it's like maybe he's not even that heavy. No. Part of it is like kind of undermined. Sort of ruined it actually. She was going for a rough time. She got cheated on I think so she was um she put on a seven year old. Yeah, because the whole time we were going to be like, who gives the fuck about Eddie I mean? Do you mean she got given a stepchild? She got given loads of weight. Right. She put on weight, right. Okay.

How is how much did Saddam Hussein way? Because that's, that's more where I model my entire aesthetic really. Yeah. Yeah. I, it's Peaks Adam Hussein. He weighed... He's 6'1, so just about my height. He's 97, so he's what? Still quite a lot of kilos. He's about 80% of 80%.

He had a big paunch, Hussein, but he wore it very well. Yeah, he looked. With the military fatig... The problem is, for a dad bod, if you're able to wear military fatigues, it's like designed for the dad bod. It's perfect.

Yeah. Because you have that high-waisted, you have a kind of cummer bun type thing. Yeah, it's the elasticated waistband and that sort of... And the stained t-shirts. What have you found, Charlie? Idiotmy's favourite food was large amounts of orange-flavored chocolate pudding.

He's a funny guy. He liked roasted meat and chocolate cake. Yeah, he also probably ate people as well. We'll get to that. How much do you know about him? Because obviously in the Pol Pot series, you went on a bit of a journey, let's say, with your opinions towards Poll. You read the research for this for the first time? Yeah, I liked him before and I'm kind of fine with him now.

But what did you gain from the research? What kind of things did you learn? They love chocolate cake. You just Google that now. Well, I learned that, though, yesterday. Yeah, right. And he... That wasn't in the research we read.

I did my own research. Okay. It's important to do your own research. Always questions things, yep. He was, um... It weighed five, seven-year-olds, and he met John Slater. No, no, we just talked about that. This is my research.

Right, right. Okay. He weighed five or seven-year-olds. He liked cake. So he's born at some point in the 20s. He must absolutely shatter his mother's pump. Right. His first victim

He's his mother's... He's a drug, Bha! He absolutely, Harry McGuire's out his mother's vaj. Amin's first victim, poor one out for his mom.

His father is Kakwa, so he's part of the Kakwa tribe, which is a sort of minority within Uganda. All right, woke. I'm a Kakwa ally. Now, Amin's father converts to Islam and Eidie later claims

that he was born on Eid. He also claims that he was born on Eid. He also claims that he was. was born in the capital. He makes loads of stuff up. He makes a lot of stuff up, as we'll discover. But he's got the sort of African footballer thing, right? Yes.

There's no records of anything. He doesn't know how old he is. No. Pretty much everything from the, before he was 15 is made up. Yeah, he's an African goalkeeper wearing trousers. He's in the tracks in bottoms. And you're going, he doesn't really inspire confidence.

But he's committed. He's committed. He's coming for any cross he's coming for. He's running out in his trousers. It'd be a terrifying goalie. Yeah, he would be. He had tribal scars. He's not, now he's not educated in the Western sense.

In the traditional sense. But I watched an African documentary about him and the Prudenta was like, you know, he's still clever. It's just not in the Western way. Right. But she did not extrapolate what she meant by that, but I, you know. He's not academically smart. No, but he speaks 12 languages and he is funny.

So he's clearly quick-witted. What are the 12 languages? Are they all tribal languages or is it like? Oh, they're all gobbling. Is that what you mean? I don't know what they are. I mean, 12 languages is very impressive.

Yeah. How many do you speak? I struggle with one. I think languages are the hardest thing for me, so I'm always impressed. But I do also hear this thrown out. There'll be Swahili. There'll be Kakwa.

English, Luganda. Okay, yeah. And then he claimed fluency in Arabic, French. But again... Do you know what I mean? So part of me, because he's making stuff up,

anything which seems really impressive about him, he's probably made up. But he also said that he could run 100 meters in under nine seconds. Yes, which would be a world record at the time. So I just want to take the 12 languages with a pinch of salt. Yeah. But also, I mean, but this is why I think I have such an affection for him is that, you know, my dad genuinely believes he can speak German.

Genuinely. Right. And we'll go, barely. Right. He has his own, what he calls Uber Deutsch. Right. Where he'll just go to Germany and go, um, uh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Passenzi de chippen, please. Bit chippin bitter. Hmm. chocolate chipping bitter. Yeah. So, but it's that, it's that sheer confidence. Yes.

Coupled with a huge stature. Yeah. And the Ugandan political culture. He's a lot. He's a real life. He's a fucking laugh. In a way that, as much as we like Gaddafi, I don't know if Gaddafi was a laugh.

No. He's funny. But Gaddafi was trying to become, Gaddafi wanted to be Lenin. He wanted to be a thinker. He wrote the famous book called the People's Republic of Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Edia mean was a boxer. Was a boxer.

Rugby player. He's like Tyson Fury. Yeah. He's like a comedian. median boxing. So his mother was a witch doctor, supposedly. Again, everything sounds like I'm making

massive sweeping statements. She's also a prostitute. The identity of his father is disputed. But he was exposed to the military from a young age. And again, very early on, he excels in sport. Which, again, when we look at dictators,

like Mao, you know, when Mao just plops himself in the river, topless and he looks like a bloated corpse. But he's doing that to project strength. Amin actually was probably the most athletic of all dictators. Of all dictators. In a bar fight of all dictators

Idiot Amin's going to win that. He's a guy. For sure. 100%. 100%. 100%. He grew up around in the British colony all the power was seen to be the soldiers. So that was very, that kind of formed him. That's where all of the power and respect

was going. So he's, Ugandan heavyweight boxing champion between the years 1951 to 1960. In his prime he was £300. He played rugby, he's a swimmer. And these are all like military boarding school, kind of British sports.

As Faratia said, he claims he could run the 100 metres in under nine seconds, which would still be faster than, what's do you say, Bolt's record? I mean, 10.5-8? Yeah. Yeah.

He even can smash them. I mean, there's something awesome about that. Yeah. If I was dictated, I'd be claiming all the records. 9.5.8 seconds is the current world record. and he weighs 300 pounds it's 200 pounds and he could shave a second off it

now Amin has also has a sort of love affair with the British yeah is what he's known really yes because and we should say that to set up Uganda basically by the time Amin's born

the British have they're a kind of colonial upper class the white men and then they have imported several thousand Asians from India to build Ugandan railways. As a sort of civil service, the kind of middle class, basically. But the Asians have become the middle class. And then the black Africans are sort of the working class,

which will come into the story later. It's peak colonialism, isn't it? Yeah. Are getting importing Indians to be a buffer between them and Africans in Africa. Yes. It's like... It's another world, isn't it? You know, it's different time?

Couldn't do that these days. No, not these days. You know when you're watching like a film from 2005? Yeah. You're watching fucking like super bad. And you're like, I couldn't make that these days. down on these days. That's me

in this. You couldn't do that these days? I couldn't import Indians. So I didn't have to... So I didn't have to have African neighbours. You couldn't do that.

In Siddique's London. You can't do that anymore. Now in 1946, Amin comes to the attention of a British army officer. In 1902, the British had set up the King's African rifles,

who were meant to be the kind of police force for the new colony. And now they fought in, they fought the Germans in East Africa in World War I. They fought Vichy, France, in Madagascar. So Amin joined to the King's African rivals

in 1946, despite really speaking English, but basically they see the size of him. And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you'll do. Yeah, you'll do. Brilliant. So he starts as a cook, and then he joins the infantry brigade. And he quite quickly starts serving with distinction, we might add, in the various battles.

Yeah, he's a fucking unit. Yes. Now, a lot of the historians who wish to sling Amin's name around, drag it through the dirt. drag it through the mud. They say that his taste for blood starts with how he was always rewarded for brutality in the King's African Rifles.

So it's a Freudian thing maybe? This is what they claim. I think can't a guy just do a job well? It's Pavlovian, actually. It's not Freudian. Pavlovian response. He knows he smashes someone's head in. You'll get a chalky.

We'll get some chocolate pudding. So yeah, they send him into the Mao Mar-Mau uprising in 53. which we covered briefly during the Prime Minister series. So the Mao, it's a bunch of... It sounds a lot cutter than it is? Yes, they're sort of... They're choppy-chop people's heads off.

They're choppy-chop-y, but they should be called the choppy-chis. The choppy-choppies are... Have a go at the British in Kenya, as it's then called... Kenya. Kenya. My granddad still calls it that. But I still called it that. Kenya.

We're holidaying in Kenya this year. Now, he, Amin, was nearly decapitated by a choppy-chopi-chopi-machet. Yes. But he goes on to personally kill several rebels. It's all pretty gnarly, you know, long road to Rwandan genocide stuff. Haki, hacky, hakey. So, yeah, Maumau, they were brutal rebels, but then the counter... Insurgency was...

It's even more brutal. And it's almost as brutal as the British Empire ever got was the... Well, you're sending Idiomian to fuck shut up. He's like your... he's like Bain. He's like your... He's the guy you call on. What is it? It's all quite cute names.

They're like, Idi Amin is quite a sweet name. Yeah. You know, his full name is Ediamin Dada. Idi Amin Dada. Dada. It's not his full title, which we'll get to in next episode. So commanders regard him as excessively violent. And there's obviously a sort of racist lens that there's a stereotype that he's massive,

he's massive black, he's strong. What, is that a stereotype? Yeah. No, sorry, I thought, yeah, that's the truth. He is, though. No, I know. But it's in their sort of viewing. I think they think he's stupid because that.

That's the other part of that stereotype. Yeah. When actually I think he's much sort of more cunning than that. He's clearly got some street smarts. I'm just going to list some things that the British are accused of during the Mao, apparently. Apparently, sexual assaults, setting people on fire, cutting off ears and constration. You know, make your own minds up.

Sure. I've made mine up. We don't know what they'd said. We don't know what they'd done to provoke these things. Some of them may have said, please, can you set me on fire? I'm very cold. Cut my ears off, please. Cut my ears off.

I don't want to hear it. Yes, Charlie. Do you go deaf if they cut your ears off? We've had this discussion. One of the first episode. We had this discussion. What do we say? Nothing goes in your head at all, does it?

I don't need the outer ear. You don't need the outer ear to hear. We've had this discussion. So what's the point of the outer ear then? I think it catches the sound in your ear, though. That was exactly the conversation we had. That's exactly the exact conversation. Now, Amin gets promoted to Sargent for his performance during the Mao-Mau-Mau,

the choppy-chopi-chopi rebellion, and he's praised by superiors as, quote, a black man who can take on other black men. So this is when black on black violence was seen as a good thing. Yes. By the British state. They want to encourage black on black violence. You know, as a man, his other soldiers, he opens beer bottles with his teeth. He's that guy.

Right. We all eat well, I can't do that. He opened beer bottles with his teeth, as if that was enough. But you, but you get it. As if that was brilliant. But it's a very evocative note, I think. I think it totally describes who we're dealing with. Yeah, I guess it's a kind of mindset, isn't it?

Yeah. It's a recklessless. Fuck it. Fuck it. I'll do that. I've never been able to do that. I've always been terrified at breaking my two.

Yeah, as you should be. To me, the risk reward of having to wait for a bottle opener versus like the humiliation of being seen to do, and then still not have a beer to drink. You're not idiot. I mean?

I'm not idiot. I'm not idiot. I'm not idiot. I've got a mortgage. And I have several bottle opens. Not to brag. I have several bottle openers. Charlie, what have you just Googled?

Tell us what you just Googled. Tell us what you just Googles. Tell us what you've just Googles. Tell us what you've just Googles. Can you open a beer bottle with your bum? And what does AIOVU say? Can you read that out, please? Can you read that out, please, for the list of the time? It is physically impossible and biologically implausible.

Implausible. Only implausible. Keep going. To open a beer bottle using the anal sphincter muscle. Yeah. I guess you could do it, though, if you've got the right clench. Keep reading what you're being told. The human bodies and anatomy and physiology are not designed for such a purpose.

The muscular structure and function of the anus are not capable of generating the specific force and manipulation required to operate a bottle opener or safely, safely prior off a box. It does sound like AIO view has tried it though. Do you know what I mean? Well, it clearly knows who Charlie is because it's saying, please do not attempt such a feat.

It would be extremely dangerous and could lead to severe injury, including rectal damage, severe bleeding infection. I can work. No, our listeners need to know. I can make the leap. They can't. They're thick. Okay?

They need to know they cannot open beer bottles with their bums. Yeah, it would be very hard. you'd have to have a metal. You could get a beer bottle put open it into put between your cheeks. I think I could open, I think I could open a beer can with my ass. Yes. I mean, how did you get the leverage underneath? Well, you need to prize it to 45 degrees. Well, then yeah, you're sort of cheating then.

Why? Because you've already done, you've already done half. It would need to be a little, it couldn't be one of those ones that's very stick, stuck down. But I think I could. From there, yeah, I could squeeze. I have the cans of my teeth. because I haven't got any fingernails. Oh, cans of your teeth?

I do like that. You open cans, well, even like cans of beans? It's not like, sometimes, yeah. It's not that impressive opening a beer can with your teeth. Yeah, well... Not, chap, I've got no choice. Opening a beer bottle with your teeth is cool. Opening a can of beans with your teeth is quite sad.

Anyway. Amin is a laugh. He's opening beer bottles with his teeth. Now, memoirs by his officers describe him as a great soldier, also quote, violence, stupid and hypersexual, which is a sort of cliche of black masculinity at this point. But Amin leans into that. He's sexy.

Did you hear on the the Noiser podcast? We need to shout out the guy who does the noise that dictates because it is, we have to listen to a lot of boring podcasts. They're very well done. They are done well. And we are trying to do more soundscapes and I am waiting for the right moment for us to do one by the Ediamine. But did you hear when he interviewed like some female

academic who just, all she could say is how much you wanted to fuck Idi Amin basically? She can coming in just talking about how much we're hearing about a genocide and she's like yeah but you just had this aura yeah it's really sexy big man imagine that on top of you he gets to effendi which is a warrant officer

which is the highest of black African can reach in the colonial military structure offendi that sounds like a word for like woke people yeah effendi oh you're a fucking offendi now I got like a slur for people who take offence yeah don't be in offendi chill out now in 1962 it's

who's this McMillan is, McMillan is watching his wife get railed. He's watching it like a cricket match, right? Yes. He's settling in. He's the Lord's hum. Nine hours. It's peaceful.

He's not saying too much. He's sipping on a drink. Strawberries, cream and champagne. Pims. Pims. Pims is a real cucks drink, isn't it? There's an upper class cuck drinking Pims. At Medcan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health.

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Drinking it all and just eating the fruit. 62 is when Uganda gains independence from the United Kingdom. Shall we place this? This would be the basis of Edamine's story. 1962. It's after the Suez Canal. Yeah. What's that, 57?

52? It's 56. And it is before people started throwing rubbish in canals. I think the canal has... Is the symbol of the West has fallen? Yes. The canal has been... Is not held in the same esteem.

Maybe since Suez. Maybe I'm starting a theory... Wow. Where the Suez Canal loss means British people go well I guess we don't care

about canals I guess no canals I guess canals don't mean anything I'm just going to put shopping shawl fuck it well they fuck it then

that's a tough one to find as a historic thing I guess it's the general trend Charlie could you find out when do people start chuck

littering in canals so much? When did the first shopping trolley go in a canal because I think maybe you have an idealised

yeah I feel in industrial revolution there's a lot of slurry in there people are industrial industrial industrial rubbish.

Okay. I think this might be all the nostalgia TikToks you're watching about the good old days. Yes. I think this is just LBC really. Well, I do have a sense

that in the 50s people would not chuck a shopping trolley in the canal but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe. Yeah, maybe it's because the lack of shopping trolleys weren't a thing

because the supermarket comes in in the 70s. When was the shopping trolley? When was the shopping trolley? Richie's supermarket's, the shopping trolley. So it will work. This place This one will work if we get the first ever shopping trolley.

That's in Oklahoma, in Britain. When's the first supermarket in Britain open? 1950. Okay, it's... Uganda, Uganda becomes independent in 1962. This is... Right. Ah, ah, ha, ha!

There you go. The first shopping trolley thrown into the UK waterways... Become a major environmental issue. In the late 1970s. That's good. Thank you. Well, we've done it. And why is this,

what, I can't remember why it's relevant. Is it because of all the strikes and just the general distrust and institutions? Our British Prime Minister series could also really be the history of shopping trolleys. Yeah.

Yeah. They used to be a symbol of modernity. In the 50s, they're symbol of modernity, right? The supermarket, the white goods revolution. Yeah. And now it's just fucking... Fucking...

I mean, I've never thrown. a Trollner shopping trolley in the canal, but it does feel... Oh, you've not lived. You've not lived. It does feel like an amazing sense of reckless abandon. When I was 19 in Amsterdam, we met some Irish people on a pub crawl, me and my friend, and they tried to push a car in a canal. We didn't do it, but we tried for a bit.

It was very heavy, though. I mean, that was feel amazing. Come on, would you get the car in the canal? Come on, would you? It's a very persuasive accent. Yeah, it is. You'll have a drink, will you? You're chuck a...

I'm trying to get the car in there, would you? Come on a canal, were here. Anyway, so... There's a lot of line bikes in canals. that seems to be the new thing. Well, this is what I mean. I mean, that's fun. If you just chuck a line bike in there is a lot of fun.

Fuck off. Heavy, though. Big splash. My point is that Canal, Uganda becomes independent. You'd say probably the midpoint between the canal being a symbol of Britain's imperial pomp

and it being littered with line bikes and shopping trolleys and condoms. It's the beginning of the speeding up of the decay of the British Empire, basically. Yeah, as seen through canals. Yeah. Now, his success sort of relies on the British colonial structure and the armed forces.

So we now get into quite a complicated situation where Uganda's first prime minister is a man called Milton Abote. And he is well-educated. He comes from the north, but he's a different ethnicity to Amin. He is, it's not Milton Jones, Charlie. It's not Milton Jones. Wilson Jones was not briefly Uganda Prime Minister. I can't think of a comedian less suited to running Uganda than Milton Jones. I've got a lot of time for Milton Jones

I play football with him He's a very nice man I think he would crumble day one I don't think I don't think puns in his zany shirt I don't know I think comeeth the hour Comeeth the man sort of thing Really?

I think he, as soon as he puts the medals on I think we'd see a different type of Milton Jones I think he'd be the dictator My granddad I don't think it would work I don't think it would work Out of interest What kind of footballer would you expect Milton Jones to be

because I tell you what, it's not who he is. Right back. Goalie? Michael Owen. Really? Fanks in the box? Bangs them in. He fucking slaps them in.

And he doesn't celebrate either. Really? Yeah. Cold. Cold-blooded. He's like Miroslav closer. Shrugs. Every goalie just shrugs off and goes, yeah, whatever.

Very unlike his stage persona. Sure. Yeah. Anyway, so Milton Abote, not Milton Jones, is, he's pan-African. and he's sort of a socialist and he wants to, this is all the rage in 60s Africa because they're becoming independent, they're looking at America, Russia.

It's the decolonisation era. So he's pushing to nationalise major British industries. There's a process called Africanisation which the British, the British hold a lot of the main positions, but a boatie wants to Africanise all the institutions,

i.e. give all the jobs to black Africans that to be fair at the bottom of society underneath the Indians and the Brits. It's like driving a car and not teaching someone how to drive a car. Yes. And then they were saying, I feel I should learn to drive a car. Fine. And then you roll out the window. Yeah, go on then.

Go on then, fuck off. Uganda and the, you know, this wave of decolonisation happens far too quickly. Yeah. And but again... But this is the warm, fertile breeding ground of the golden age dictators, right? Very sexy, though. It's the warm, wet, wet, dripping dictators.

Do you know what I mean? Yes. It seems like maybe we're part, we're not having as many colorful dictators these days as we used to. These days. It feels, these days. But it feels like once a colonial power leaves, the person who comes in and establishes power it normally is quite a fruity man.

Yes, because there's a vacuum. Yeah. So Uganda does not have. mainly highly trained senior officers. Promotions are moving faster than the training can handle. Because the Brits just fuck off. They just like, we'll see you then. Fuck off.

And so there's lots of ethnic tensions that, you know, the Brits just kind of abandon. Now, Abate quite quickly realizes that he needs EDME. Now, EDME at this point is... To be fair to us, though, we are completely broke. Oh, we're fucked. We're completely fucked. This is during...

We don't have any money. Alec Douglas Humors is in, you know? Not even... Not even he. Not even he could turn the ship around. With his way with words, his ability to inspire the masses. I mean, in many ways Britain's own Edia mean was Alec D. D. Sum, a giant of a man, figuratively and literally.

Huge. So Abote realizes that he needs the army to maintain any kind of authority. Now, Amin at this point is a lieutenant and he's one of the only two black commissioned officers in the entire force. And now in 62, Amin is sent to the... the Karimajong borderlands of Uganda and Kenya to deal with cattle rustlers. He, as is his way,

threatens to cut the penis off every male Karimajong who refuses to surrender. It doesn't mean his words. No, it's a very Ugandan. Is it an Africa core? I will cut your penis off. I'll make you eat a poo-poo. If you do not surrender,

Ma, ma! Now, he then kills, allegedly, 118 Turkana tribes people by leaving them in cages stacked on top of each other and they suffocate in the sun. So he makes a sort of people lasagna

and then leaves it in the oven too long. Battery found turkeys. Battery farm turkeys essentially. But now they're all like he needs to be charged, needs to be court-martialed, but they don't want to tarn it. Firstly, they're terrified of him

and he's so popular. But he's a star. He's a star, but also it's one of the only black officers in the newly independent army. The Brits are fucking off. They do not want to tarnish his reputation. So in 63, he's promoted to major. Just don't do that again.

Don't make a people... Just fucking chill out. Don't make a people lasagna again. You wouldn't know what lasagna is because we're British and not Italian. It's not your fault. You're meant to layer ragu with bechamel sauce and then sheets of pasta. Not just put person, person, person, person, person. It needs to be a sauce in between.

Yes. Maybe they would have been able to eat the ragu. long enough for them to be released. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know. In 64, he's promoted again. He's now deputy commander

of the entire Ugandan army. Now, in 61, there's a big wage dispute where Amin helps a boate to solve this. Amin comes in and basically tells them all to back down. Yeah, so they force feed...

Is not a boat... Do they force feed a boate? Their rations or the general. They basically got shit rations. Yeah. Oh, that's it. They turn their general into a suffragette and make him eat the shit

they've been eating. A goose, fireball goose. Yeah. Do they do that to suffragettes? No, force feeding. Do they do that? That's one of the most famous things. Ladies, right? This is 101. Ladies. They force fed suffragettes?

Yeah, I mean, how do you not... All I know is that they just couldn't stop... All I know is there are fucking mouthy broads. No, I just say... All I know is that they just couldn't stop throwing them to them in front of horses. Yeah, no, because they were want on hunger strike. Oh, they were hungry. Oh, for God's sake. Well, I mean...

I mean, my girlfriend often forgets to eat. It's girl dinners. It's just got to stop. Stop just eating crisps and then going to bed. I've got a headache. You haven't drunk water in three days. Yeah. No wonder they have to force feed them.

Where's your big sippy cup? I bought you a massive sippy cup. It's so ludicrously big because you always forget it if it's any smaller. Basically women just walk around these days with fucking tankers of water. They're idiots.

They need to be reminded by the size of their bottle that they have to drink water. You can lead a woman to water, but unless it's a big sippy cup, cup they won't drink out of it. And that's what the suffragette. The people were forced-fee and suffragettes were saying. Anyway, so Amin

solves this dispute, but again, he agrees to pay their demands, but he is just more and more he's becoming the focal point of the army. He's a guy that people like. Now, we get to the 1966 Bougandah crisis. Now, this is where it gets quite complicated. You have the reigning Kabaka, who's the king of

Buganda, as we said, the sort of central province in Uganda. His name is, Big Deep Breath. So, Edward Frederick, William David, Walugambe, Mutabe, Luwala, Mutesa the 2nd. That name really transitions. Otherwise known as King Freddy. It does transition, doesn't it?

It's a good... It's four good old chaps. And then... And then they fall down the stairs. Yeah. It's a British colonial chap falling down the stairs. My name is Sir Edward Frederick, William David, Walugabe Mottéleuio Laangela Mottesa.

The second. That's when he gets up at the end. Yeah, but he's otherwise known as King Freddy. They give him a Brazilian striker name. Yeah, he's Fred. He's Fred. He's Fred. He's King Fred.

Now, he had been, he'd been a very, he'd been a much loved by the British. And he, you know, he wore suits, and he had been trading with the British. And both sides were enriching themselves off. But Abote and Amin, they're from a different part of Uganda. They're from the north, right? They resent how Buganda's elite power has survived. the end of the empire. Abote is the first prime minister,

but he doesn't really have any power over King Freddy who thinks he's still the head of his region of Buganda. It's confusing. So it is confusing. The British have just fucked off and they've left a sort of simmering, no one really can claim.

But the Brits don't like Abote because he represents sort of anti-colonial, potentially communist. He's up to, yeah. So there's a Simba rebellion, which is where a left-leaning coalition of insurgents, called Simba's, they try and topple

the central government during a this is in the Congo can't deal with that now which we can't deal with that at the moment the Belgium have gone listen the Belgian have done the worst anyone's done in Africa

and then left immediately the Belgians have managed the Congo fine okay they've managed it it needed managing yeah it's a tough it's a tough game and also they're Belgian they don't know how to do anything I mean I didn't read that Tintin

book Tintin in the Congo yeah fuck me this one's This one's not really safe for work. Christ. Anyway, Abote backs the Simba and starts supplying them weapons. And the scandal that follows is known as the Congo gold crisis, where Abote and Ediamine together, as a bit of a naughty double act,

they extract all the mineral wealth. Which is what you do in Congo is you extract minimal wealth. Yeah. Come on. When in Rome, do as the Romans. When in Rome. When in Congo does the Congans. Exactly.

I mean, it feels like quite a nice male bonding experience. to both extract mineral wealth together. Yeah. So like a nice day out. It's a nice, kind of, I think it's a nice moment of platonic love. What you're doing this weekend?

Should you go and extract some Congolese mineral wealth? Making memories. Making memories. That's all King Leopold the second was doing. Okay, I made some memories. If that's the crime,

then lock me up. Yeah, I'm guilty then. Fine. Can I not make memories anymore? You know? Memory is the last a lifetime. Now, someone deposits $340,000 Ugandan shillings,

which is about 200, into Idi Amin's bank, which is more than he would have earned in a decade as the deputy commander of the army. But that's most officials, right? You don't get a great wage, so you have to find other work. But if I am part of that corruption,

I will defend it! He builds a large smuggling network and he's personally selling weapons for gold, ivory, coffee. King Freddy, the Bugandan, demands an inquiry, and this explodes into a political crisis, a constitutional crisis,

where Abote and Amin double up and frame this as a Bugandan plot. to try and get away with it. So Abate then cracks down on King Freddy. He arrests everyone loyal to King Freddy. He suspends the constitution. He declares himself president. King Freddy then fights back and he ejects a Bote and Amin from office.

So it's kind of on the brink of civil war. This is important, Charlie. This is going to be an important interjection? Is the money like Gringott? Is it all physical money? Like, how do they do it back in the day? Now it's imaginary. Do you bank with Gringotts?

No. What do you mean? How do they do it? Like, if you have 200,000 pounds, is it all just coins? Well, I think, no, I think this is, this will be wire transfer, I imagine. Really? Well, yeah, I mean, banking, you know, the international Wall Street crash of the 20th, you know, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there only round, yeah, yeah. I don't think Gringot has got anything to do with Ediamine's rise to power.

But again, why would our listeners know that? Yeah. Why, you know, and we can't know. Now, Ediamine and Abote are rejected from Buganda, which is where the capital Campala is. So it's on the brink of civil war. So then we get to Edia mean sort of, I guess maybe this is his, maybe this is the origin story.

This is like the big thing. This is the Joker film. The Battle of Mengo Hill. So 23rd of May, 1966, England have got a good feeling about this. This year's going to be different. It's a home cup. It's a home cup. Nobby Stiles is at the back.

You know, we've got Jeff Hurst. The Charlton brothers. The Charlton brothers. I'm feeling good about this. In deepest darkest Africa, Ediamine arrives in the capital Kampala at the head of a large military convoy. He positioned troops around the presidential palace, King Freddy's palace, the Lubiri Palace, and begins pummeling it. Pummeling it.

With 122mm cannons. Palace gets pummeled. Can we get a photo up of a hundred and twenty two millimeters cannon? There's no two ways about it. The palace was pummeled. Lubiri's pussy palace is getting absolutely pounded by Amin's massive cannon. Apparently he takes a turn himself laughing while he fires. He's a funny guy. He's a fun guy. He's a fun guy. I want to go. You know, if I was ahead of an army, I'd be like, fuck, fuck, I'm middle management at this point. I want to fucking go. Give me the cannon.

He, Amin blocks the Red Cross from delivering aid. Soldiers then loot the palace, kill a red flag for me. Kill a lot of civilians. And supposedly there are like lorries full of bodies. But a boatie just goes, ah, no, there's a few. It's a police matter. It's a police matter. Some of the loyalists to King Freddy are buried alive.

Within an hour, all the militia are dead. And Ediamine goes into the power. goes into the palace and takes King Freddy's crown, flag and uniform to a Boto's office in a Jeep. So it is essentially like Storming Buckingham Palace. What's quite interesting about King Freddy, though, is his escape, right? Yes. Is that he manages to basically climb over the palace walls and he just hails a taxi? It's very African escape, isn't it?

He just gets an Uber basically? Yeah. Yeah. And then he then gets given sanctuary by some Catholic clergy, disguised with priests, smuggling out the country, and then he ends up in London, where he dies of alcohol poisoning at 45. In Rotherhive. Really? Yeah, yeah.

So those are some pretty gnarly pubs around there. That's Millwall territory, essentially. Yeah, but dying of alcohol poisoning at 45, that's serious, serious drinking, right? Yeah, but it's Millwall. He dies of old age in Millwall terms. That's like Sandro numbers, right? Surely, yeah, 45. What I'd think an idea.

Anyway. Can we get a photo of King, Freddy? I just need to see. see King Freddy. I imagine there's a bit of swagger. How much he looks like a booze bag. No, look at that. But you can imagine him. You can imagine him in a pub, like kind of half a sleep. Can you go King Freddy drinking and Rotherife? Let's see if there's... I wouldn't go on a pub crawl of Rotherhithe, put it that way.

It seems like that's all he did. Rotherhithe Tunnel, when was it? I know it's open currently. When did it open? I walk through it. There's no way. You walk through the Rotherhithe tunnel. You're not allowed to do that. I know. That's bad for you. It's really bad. I wonder you're ill. You might as well just been sucking on an exhaust for half an hour. I thought it would just be straight under. Well, it is straight under.

Straight under is a while. It's a while, isn't it? Yeah, it hurt. Was it what, the pollution? Yeah, the pollution really hurt. I just thought you could just... You walked? It's a really long tunnel.

Yes, yes. I hadn't been under it before. The one you can walk is in between mudshoot and island gardens. That one's nice. That was nice. You can cycle it sometimes. It's like 40, 40 cigarettes, I think, in one trip. Because I cycled on a line.

bike there at about 11.30pm. Millennium down. And there's no security cameras. Yeah, it's pretty sick. Well, there was fucking like 10 teenagers who were looking, and it was like... And you're going, excuse me!

Well, I was just at pace, and they were shouting at me and I was like, luckily the elevator came in time, but it was like, I could have... I thought they could have absolutely fucking... Oh, because the elevators are quite slow. Yeah. So I used to live in.

But also, imagine how pathetic that is that Because they're in the middle of the tunnel. I whizz past the... Are you in a line bike? I'm on a line bike. And then I press the bike. You can't get that upstairs. They're walking towards me.

It's like if it didn't come in time, there's nothing you can do it. You can't do that because you can't get the line bike up the stairs because it's heavy. No. It's quite terrifying. What way to go that would have been. Anyway, so he declares martial law,

which is maybe his big error because it just means the army are even stronger now. The army are even more poised. So we get to the January 1971 coup. All the while, sorry, sorry. It's my dad, you know,

my dad's coming to power. So after King Freddy's out of the way and Milton Obote's running the country, Amin starts recruiting soldiers from his tribal strongholds in the north of Uganda to shape the army into his own image. So he starts to kind of answer to himself

rather than the state. Now at this point, is he head of the army? Idiyami. He's Idiy Army. Yeah. that idi army dada he's the army dada i di army dada i di army dada i d i d'i i d'i i mean dada

i mean i mean dada well it's either i d'i army dada or it's like i mean dada it's quite cam isn't it yeah yeah a mean dada he's a mean dada he is a mean dada he gets quite mean well that's why

dictates his names they are just brilliant because they often Saddam hussein is the perfect dictator name because it sounds like madman insane it's the perfect name idi amin who's saying the membrane yeah who's saying the membrane yeah who's got the best um dictator name out of us to me charlie milner's not i don't think so i think it's probably you yeah ratio gould that feels like there's a lot of corruption going on now yeah i defend it ir ratio sounds like a name it feels like the name version of putting loads of medals yeah that you haven't earned yes yeah now abot's head of the country

Amin's head of the army. It's at the early 1970s. Abote is increasingly moving left politically. He's increasingly making anti-Western noises. And the Brits who still have industrial interests in Uganda are starting to get a bit of worried. They start to think that Ediamin would be a better choice for leader. Because he is someone who served in the King's Rifles.

He was very robust against the Mao, the choppy chopies. And he has got a great affection for the Queen. The Queen and Scotland as well. He's a sort of, he's a classic empire man in their heads. So the British, the American and the Israeli security services, they start offering Amin assistance with the aim of maybe him taking power. Now in 1969, it's the summer of love, but not in Uganda. I don't know how much love is going on in Uganda.

Sure. So on the 19th December, 1969, Kabaka, that's the Amin's tribe, loyalists try to assassinate Abate. They shoot him at close range. the bullet hits his cheek and goes out the other side. Which is kind of mental. That is mental. So, Bote responds with emergency laws.

Thank God his mouth is open. I know. The laws are anyone holding a gun in his presence, instant death sentence. Throwing an egg is punishable by life imprisonment. Yeah. I mean, that's sort of fair. Yeah, come on. No, just fucking, I mean, Prescott's the closest we ever got to idiot.

I mean, that's also so fair from Prescott. Yeah, fuck off. You can't just throw an egg and not expect any Italian. At the Home Secretary, he's built like Idiomene. He is our only version of Ediamin, it's Prescott. Fuck off. Anyway, everyone expects that the means ordered this, because it's his tribe that's done it. He was missing during the assassination.

He claims that he fled without his shoes and left. Now, then a guy called Yeri Okoyo tells a boat that Imin had organized the assassination attempt. Then a few weeks later, Okoyo and his wife. are shot dead gun down on their doorstep. Authorities capture the gunmen. They claimed that Ediamine had paid them. Now, Bote still lacks solid proof, but he is now in between a rock and a hard place

because he needs the army on side to keep this kingdom together, but the army is fully in the hands of Ed Amin. Now, Amin's corruption is becoming increasingly obvious. He has so much cash in his pocket that he's walking in a funny way. He's got like a limb. He looks like he's had double-hit replacement.

Just all coins rattling around. There are supposedly 35 million pounds worth of money meant for the military operations fund that have been misappropriated. Misappropriated. Cultural misappropriation. I could not tell you where they are. The money is in the air. It's in the air. Moving in the air.

So in 1970, Idiot means goes to Cairo for the funeral of Abdel Nasser. Who does he meet there? Our old friend, the colonel. this will form the basis of a romance that we'll get into in the next few episodes in this series this is like better calls saw when you see water water white in there it's like the crossover it's a great moment godaffi and i mean bros you know they you know it's like when you meet someone new a guy man and they you know they finish they finish each other's sentences they call something gay and you call some retard and you're like oh you're down to fuck you're

cool. It's like you touch hands and this is how Gaddafi. It's montage of them riding tandem bikes. Or they both maybe they name a random 90s Premier League footballer and they're like, oh, oh my God.

Phil Babb. I didn't know other people knew about Phil Babb. Charlie, video of Phil Babb sliding into the goalpost. I know we've had a lot of history this episode. Just quickly fire it up. I want to see it again.

A waffia thin mint. A waphafin mint. to finish us off. Phil Babb, Pair Luigi Kazeragi's first goal for Chelsea. Maybe the worst stream. Phil Babb.

Oh, God, it's bad. We're just watching footage of Phil Babb's sliding into a goal post and it's, I mean, that's one way of having your tubes car, I suppose. Phil Babs not having kids today.

Fuck me, that's bad. Medieval. Anyway, so, whilst Damine is in Cairo, meeting Gaddafi, you know. Yeah. I met someone.

Einstein He's called the colonel. Einstein meets Oppenheimer. Ant meets deck. These great historical figures. While he's away, Abote demotes him and assumes command of the army himself. So now, January 1971,

Abote is away attending a Commonwealth summit in Singapore. And while he's away, he orders the Ugandan army to arrest Idi Amin. Now, they then go, some of the army then go to Ediamin and tell him,

oh, we've been ordered to arrest you, but we're not going to do it because we love you. Yeah. And so he didn't mean basically's like, fuck it. Let's go. He's away. Let's have a fucking party. Rack a mile, let's go. And so he essentially then they bait, I think

the guys just, on the noise of podcast, it seems like they hadn't planned this at all. The guy's just like, you know what, we're not going to arrest you and we've also, as a precaution, we've just taken a radio station. Do you want to just, do you just go and say you're in charge now? And then he's like, yeah, fuck it. Why not?

One of the key moves in a coup is to get on the radio. Yeah. Do a podcast. But it's completely improvised. Yeah. A mean just goes, fuck it. Fuck it. Let's do it.

I'm going to do it. Takeover is met with no resistance. He goes to the radio. What is it? Hot FM. Hot FM maybe. Yeah. Who knows?

Absolutely. He's chucked Roman kemp out the window. Fuck off, Roman. I would like to chuck the capital FM guys out of the window. I would. Whenever I see them on the phone, I'm like, fuck, I just fuck off. People listen to this shit. Oh, you're listening to

Why are you so happy at 7am? Yeah. So Amin promises to Uganda a fresh start. Lower taxes will give King Freddy a state funeral. Clever. Nice. He's immediately. So he's got political instincts

because he's the guy who fucking shot his palace with a cannon and nicked his crown. And now he's going, let's give the guy a state funeral. Get you a guy who can do both. Yeah. So. Palace with a cannon.

Yeah. give an old king of state funeral. It's the two sides of man. The guy you marry. Ediamine is in charge of Uganda. Yeah. In our next episode, we will deal with why he has been come to know,

be known as the butcher of Uganda. I think unfairly. I also, I like butchers. I think they're better than supermarkets. It's true. Let's go back, rebuild the high street. Yes. We need more butchers of Uganda.

More Ugandan buchers. We need more bakers of Uganda. We need more cobblers of Uganda. We need them all. You know, at the moment, it's just fucking chicken shops of Uganda. And self-servant checkouts of Uganda. And we will get to his personality, his admiration for a little man called Adolf Hitler. He has a way of turning up in every single story.

He really does. And Ediamine, God bless him, has been known to history as the Black Hitler. Yeah. Why are you blood? And your dick here in the Black Hitler's? My dick here, no, it's not. It's just... My dick here in Black Hitler was Ronaldo celebrating a free kick.

Oh! It's nought to 60. The Black Hitler. Anyway, the rest, the entirety of this three-part series is already on our Patreon, where for £3 a month you get instant access and bonus episodes. There's a whole Aladdin's cave. Instant gratification. If you are up to date with the podcast, if you're someone who is always listening to the latest episode

and you run out, there is hours of extra content on the Patreon. Reims. reams of the stuff. Reams of slurs behind a paywall. My God, the slurs are there. That's where they are. If you're looking to take us down,

it's all there. Go there, find the Furbin tapes. There's so much of it. You won't know what to do. It's a blizzard. There's about six, maybe there's about, I don't know, 30 hours, 40 hours of stuff on late.

At least. Anyway, that's on the Patreon. But if not, we'll see you on Thursday for the continuation of the EDMEA and story. A goodbye. A goodbye. Thank you.