Fin vs History - Britain has a Cuck Dad and a Bitch Mum: Clement Attlee (Part 1) | Post War British Prime Ministers, 1945-1979
Episode Date: September 1, 2025Clement Attlee might just be the most boring man to ever hold office. But how did this wet dweeb end up laying the foundations of modern Britain that Mummy Thatcher so readily slaughtered? The ...show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened. For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon patreon.com/fintaylor CHAPTERS: 00:00 Mummy and Daddy 04:45 Loose Clements 09:17 Domestic Terrorist 17:17 Britain’s Fattest Man 22:02 1945 Election 26:44 Attlee's Cabinet 30:28 Clement the Patrician 36:56 Benefit Fraud Starts Here 43:09 Annus Horribilis 48:30 Free the Hogs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Good morning history tards.
It's the start of our biggest series yet.
Wow!
I'm here with the ratio of Gould.
This is Finn v. History and today is episode one
on a month-long trudge.
Trudge.
It's a long, yeah.
A trudge through post-war British prime ministers,
945 to 1979.
Relentless.
An audio portrait of managed decline.
That's what we.
what this podcast was sort of set up for.
It is.
It's the embodiment of what we stand for.
It's a test cricket match.
This is a test cricket match in audiovisual podcast form that ends in a sort of, yeah, a loser's
draw.
Three days get rained off.
Yeah.
This will be epic.
Is it a test in patient?
Testing the algorithm.
We're really going to test the algorithm out with this one.
We thought, you know, we just did a live show in Edinburgh Fringe, which is very great
for everyone who came out, but we do want to start cleaving off to our audience.
Whittle them down.
Do you know what I mean?
we looked out there and we're like,
we could probably make this a bit more of an elite group.
I think so.
An elite's not the right word.
What's the opposite of the elite?
They're extreme.
Yeah, extreme elements in terms of smell,
in terms of throat beers,
in terms of employment prospects.
Yeah.
But which I mean they have zero.
Yeah, like a white al-Qaeda.
Yes, exactly.
The jihadi, the jihadi John,
the Beatles, the Fab Four.
But they're just John.
Yeah, Johnny John.
Johnny John.
So today,
we are, we're essentially looking
you know, this is a British
podcast and rather than
famously British, rather than trying to
gain new listeners from overseas, we're just
doubling down on why is this country
like it is? You know, you can't understand
Britain without Thatcher and you can't
understand Thatcher without the 70s
and you can't really understand the 70s
without understanding the system that
the 70s, that collapses in the 70s.
Yeah, and people from other countries when they
read about how big the British Empire
was and they see Britain now
and they realize it really wasn't that long ago
it doesn't quite make sense how
that it happened. Yeah, how
is that country that thinks it's that
actually that? And it might be one of the
funniest declines of an empire
because normally when an empire declines
it collapses, it's
you know, explosions everywhere, there's fucking
famine, there's death. This was just
quietly packing up.
Yep.
Yeah, exactly.
Have you got everything?
Yep. Yeah.
Right.
Do one more look around and make
I think it's fine actually. I think we'll just go. I reckon we've had enough. We've had enough. We've had enough. We're fucking knackard. Yeah.
Because what stands out for the British Imperial collapse is that at home, it didn't, people don't really notice that much.
They were like, sorry, we were stationed where?
Yeah. Oogabuga where? What? People are dying in Oogaboole. I'm right. No, no, let's get out of there. Let's get out of that. Absolutely now.
it's a portrait of a nation
it's
the 70s is I think
objectively the funniest politics
is ever been anywhere
it's the you know
British it's the closest Britain basically
Britain becomes Greece without the weather
in the 70s all the food
all the food
really are we just have working sewage
is the only reason
and we barely have that actually the 70s
and it's the long road
to Thatcher how do things
get so desperate that we elect a female
prime minister
How is that?
On our knees.
Yeah.
Mommy!
Mommy!
So that's the sort of scope of the series.
We will be dealing in this episode, the next with Clement Attlee.
Yeah.
One of the two transformative prime ministers of the post-war period.
That's what everyone seems to agree is Atley and Thatcher, isn't it?
We're still in Thatcher's Britain in a way.
We still have not been able to overturn the changes she's made.
But before Thatcher, it was the transformations that Atley made.
So basically, Post-Wall Britain is a cuck dad and a bitch.
mom.
Yeah.
Yes.
That's what defines us.
And then Blair sort of made it feel good about itself for a bit, but ultimately gave it more
issues.
Yeah.
And since then everyone's gone, well, I'm not fucking touching that.
Yeah.
And that's kind of Britain today.
But we've still got some of athlete stuff today.
That's what I mean.
So it's mummy and daddy.
It's very damaged though.
It's a intensely damaged child.
This child of ours.
It's a tired dad.
Oh, whatever you want.
And then a mum who's just...
Right.
Right.
That's the step mum.
It's a new step mum that's come in.
Yeah.
And it's really just.
slapped Clement around the face.
We can't afford this.
You're okay.
Fine. Fine.
So we're going to start
with Attlee.
And I must say that this is an epic long series.
The first half of which will be already
all on the Patreon.
We can't give it to them all in one go.
The first half will be incredibly boring.
They will die.
They will die if we give it all to them one go.
They'll eat the whole thing in a month
and a month's worth of food in a day.
They're like dogs.
They don't know when their next meal's coming from.
And if you'd like to be,
one of those dogs. It's just three pounds a month to lower yourself from
human to dog. They are classed as a different species, our truth is. Anyway, Clement
Atley. We've just got something in from Charlie. This is the gender distribution of people
called Clement. Apparently it's a male name. It's mainly a male name, but there are a few
women called, there are a few ladies Clements. Clement. Clement is a very funny.
Clement. A girl name. I love you, Clement. My wife's called Clement. This is my wife,
clement
Yeah
Could you get
Clement weather
Which is
What's that muggy
Or is it nice?
I don't know
It's clement
I think it means nice
Isn't it?
I don't know I've never heard that.
No, I've not heard that.
You never heard clement weather?
It's a very clement day
Mild or merciful
Clement
It's a weird
The more you say
I mean there's a
Clementine
Clementine
That's a female name
Churchill's wife
Was called Clementine
Yeah
Wow
So what's going on there
Well
Join the patron
To find out
This all
This all adds up.
You know,
Obama's,
Michelle Obama's a man.
Of course.
Yeah.
Cameron Attlee's a woman who married Churchill and then shaved her red and became
Prime Minister.
There'll be a lot of conspiracy theories that we'll be starting.
So Clement Attlee,
1945 to 1951.
Yeah.
So what are your views on Clement off the bat?
Well, obviously he's an extremist.
Yeah.
He sets up the NHS.
Yeah, radical terrorist.
He's a radical terrorist.
He's a domestic terrorist.
He's a domestic terrorist who, thankfully,
was booted out of office
and calmly.
No, he is sort of like...
He's upheld.
Everyone,
because James Ford McCann
who came on this podcast
has that bit where he just goes
through every Prime Minister
and everyone booes every single one.
It feels like the only one
that people can agree
that everyone sort of likes
is probably Atley.
And I think it's fascinating
when you see he actually
did stuff.
Yeah.
And it's what the left hold on to
also.
Atley is like,
well,
Atley was good.
Yeah.
That's kind of all you got.
70 years ago.
Well, who did you like?
Well, Attlee was good.
That was great.
But even at the time, a lot of people didn't like, in the Labour Party,
thought he wasn't doing enough.
Yeah.
And then it's funny that basically, in one year they do everything.
Yeah.
And it's the year literally after the world's in ruins.
And that seems to be the only year that they can do anything.
Yeah, but also they couldn't get back into power because they'd run out of ideas.
Yeah.
Because it's like, what?
They got it all done about.
We did fucking everything.
We did it in the year.
And I think also maybe at the time they can't really view it with hindsight.
The reason why Atley's so respected is in hindsight.
so much of his stuff has stayed.
Yes.
And that's a way of judging
how successful prime minister is.
I guess how much of it stays in.
When you talk about Blair,
it's like, yeah, for pre-9-11,
it was kind of a, he did a lot.
Yeah.
And it actually did a lot afterwards,
but then all of it's pretty much gone.
Yeah, apart from the Good Friday Agreement.
Yeah.
But kind of like...
Even that's on the, on the edge of it, is there.
So, yeah, I suppose Atlee's one of the only
Prime Minister, him and Thatcher,
are the only two that actually changed the country long term.
But Atley, when you can,
compared to Thatcher, is a pretty boring cunt.
Yeah, I mean, that's the whole thing, is that he's, him and Churchill, they're kind of during the war, because they got on during the war and they were a good partnership.
It was sort of Jack Leach and Ben Stokes.
Yes.
That was kind of like the combination they had.
And it feels like it's the most cross-party kind of synergy was during the war where the kind of the impetus me of a Labour prime minister and the Tory prime minister with Churchill and Attlee.
But then what's quite funny is that when the election campaign immediately after the war, which is like, it's like two weeks after the war ends, Churchill just starts calling Attlee the Casual.
Gestapo. It just really ramps it up and goes, this guy's a Nazi.
But if you're a wartime prime minister, you want someone who's just calling everyone a
Gestapo. Yes, exactly. But it doesn't really work when you're talking about boring domestic
reforms. If the war ended, that's a guy in a waistcoat who likes cricket. I don't think he's
the Gestapo. Yeah. So, uh, very boring, but very radical. That's what's interesting
about Clemenatley. Yeah. He does so much, but he doesn't, he's so boring. You can't
remember who he is really. Which is maybe why people, sort of this country allowed him to be so
radical. Church are good of, a sheep and sheep's clothing.
he had the quote the tepid enthusiasm of a lazy summer afternoon at a cricket match
he brought that to the fierce struggle of politics yeah so the main events in this in this episode
we're going to deal with is what does he do domestically yeah which is as we've said is
is literally everything yeah he's domestic terrorist he's a domestic terrorist thankfully
yeah we'll deal with his foreign uh his foreign policies uh in the next episode now we just
to give you a flavor of the time uh charlie's just brought up did did at lee hoover
No, Clement Lee did not hoover.
He was a British politician
who served as Prime Minister.
Thank you, AI Overview.
I don't know if Hoobers are around at this point, actually.
And also, A.I. Overview is very confident
that Atley didn't Hoover.
No, he did not hoover. He is a man.
Seems to be what AI Hoover was saying.
I mean, he probably didn't hoover.
I don't think he hoovered in his life.
He was a British Prime Minister in the 40s.
British Prime Minister are not hoovering, apart from Margaret Thatcher.
Yeah.
Seems to be. I think that's when...
She proudly did it.
Proudly.
She was the Prime Minister, but she was also.
why first, that's what?
The Hoover vacuum cleaners
painted the invention.
1908, okay, so hovers are around.
Yeah.
But when did men start hoovering, Charlie?
When did men start hovering?
I guess early 20th century.
Do you guys hoover?
Yeah, yeah. Hoover is my favourite chore.
Do you enjoy to hoover?
I love a hoover.
I tell you what I like doing,
I did this weekend,
is hoovering the back of the car.
Oh, nice.
That's an absolute fucking minefield.
Yeah.
Cheerio, there's genuine mould.
I've been in your car.
It's like a failed state.
It is a failed state.
It is a failed state.
It's entirely relaxed.
All the institutions have collapsed.
It runs on petrol and yet we can't afford to keep filling it up.
And the back of my car is, I think I'd rather...
Yeah, it's like a post-IRA bomb.
I'd rather live in Eritrea.
It's like a bus in Guilford.
I'd rather live in Eritrea than spend any time in the back of my car.
My kids are animals.
They're absolutely animals.
It's Haiti.
It is Haiti.
Your boot's Haiti.
Yeah, the boots's Haiti.
The back's Eritrea.
We're not here to talk about Finn's car, are we?
No, we're not.
So what is life like in Britain when Attlee comes to power?
Okay.
The economy is obviously completely fucked.
Do you just place this?
We should place this.
Thank you, Charlie.
So 1945.
1945.
So 1945 is just after Hitler has died.
Yep.
And it is...
Sorry.
Just...
Sorry, I'm welling up.
Because you are not alone.
Not alone.
The life will shine on truth.
Light is out, in the car, whenever you're listening.
Light is out for Hitler.
He's gone.
Do you know, I can see you, you know Elton John doing candle in the wind?
Yeah.
Prince's Diner's funeral.
Yeah.
Outreux in the wind.
I can see you doing that at Hitler's funeral.
Like a candle in the wind.
But to no one.
Candle in the wind about Hitler.
Yes.
So anyway, Hitler's gone.
Yeah.
So it's after, it's after Hitler.
It's before Fritzel, right?
It is before Fritzel, but I think Fritzel's probably born at this point.
Oh, right?
So I think it's after Hitler, and it is before twiglets.
Yes, before twiglets.
Is it before twiglets?
Let's find out.
Because Twilett's are quite a lot.
Post-Hitler, before.
Now, Twiglitz, I feel like they, they, no, it's not.
No, it's not before twiglets.
No, Charlie, it's not before twiglets.
Hitler will have known about twiglets.
It's before quavers.
Atley's eating twiglets.
Oh, definitely.
Atley's a twiglet guy.
I think twiglets is the most adult crisp.
Yeah.
Because they're fucking disgusting.
It tastes like, it feels.
It feels like the germs are flying overhead when you eat twiglin.
It feels like rationed food.
Yeah.
You eat one.
Quavers.
I always buy it.
I think, oh, I like this.
It's sort of they kind of marmighty.
And I have one.
I go, Christ, I wish I got quavers.
Quavers.
Quavers are brilliant, though, to be fair.
68.
So it's pre-Qavers.
So Hitler never...
Post-Hitler pre-Qavers.
Hitler never saw a packet of quavers.
Perhaps as well, it depends.
We don't know if he went to...
Who's so angry.
Who knows.
So that's 1945.
Now, the average house price...
It's a handshake, I think.
It is a handshake.
It's a firm handshake in these days.
Because avocados weren't invented.
Because I won't have been all no money on brunch.
Nowadays, you just throw an avocado.
So house prices are £620, Christ.
That's $25,000 today.
Unemployment rate is low because everyone has literally just died.
Yeah.
The price of bread, four and a half pence for a £2 loaf.
I don't know what a £2 loaf means.
I don't know.
I imagine that's just a loaf.
We're basically importing everything we need to eat.
Right.
And we're exporting nothing.
our knees. We're on our knees. We're absolutely
on our knees. Sucking off. And not in the same
way than we are in 79. No. So
who's in the charts? Yeah. Vera Lynn. We'll meet again.
Doris Day, Bing Crosby.
My nan grew up with Vera Lynn in East London.
Oh, really? What was she like?
She was very nice. She was a bit older.
She more knew her younger sister, but
she was just a nice East London girl
with bad teeth, I think. Now this is interesting. On TV,
Brief Encounter, so that's a big moment.
There's a show in 1949.
called come dancing.
Yeah, well, you've chosen to say it that way.
No, because...
Come dancing.
Yeah, well, it's not come dancing.
Well, no, it's strictly come dancing or it's strictly cum dancing.
Yeah, I guess...
But is that, is that why strictly is called that?
I don't know.
Because there was a come dancing before.
Come dancing.
Come dancing.
Come dancing.
No, no, my God, we've got fucking out.
Charlie's going to call...
It's C-O-M-E, Charlie.
Right.
Yeah.
Come dancing.
tell you organ wow come dancing is a british ballroom dancing competition show okay so this is the precoaster to strictly right so again i mean think of the thread from taking us from nowadays to 1945 come dancing is still on our screens there's still come dancing is post war filth yeah immediately but also the best period for british film is 1940s i don't know why that is but the most classic film's made and here is that our first uh our first staging post on the way to britain's decline in nineteen 46 woman's hour starts so really it's the beginning of the end it's the
We're in the toilet from this point on this.
That's the end of the series.
Well,
because you could argue it's the,
it's two wild wars that destroyed the British Empire
or you could argue it's loose women.
We can't,
not loose women,
women's hour.
They're tight women.
This is tight women.
Loose women's not,
when loose women doesn't start to what?
The early 2000s?
They're letting it all hang out on loose women.
Oh my God.
It's disgusting.
It's a disgrace.
Atley would have hated loose women.
Yeah,
but these women are slowly getting loosened every,
every decade, right?
These are fucking tight women.
But they, every,
every decade,
they're getting a bit looser.
Yeah, they are.
They are getting looser.
That's the story of this series.
It's the loosening of the women.
The loosening of women.
1999, where loose women starts.
But it was called Live Talk.
And then everyone was like, what?
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And then it changed the Lussela.
It's a terrible name.
Live talk.
Live talk.
Anyway, let's get the fittest women of the era.
This is something we'll be doing every episode.
Just kind of just, again, it's a portrait in women's being loosened.
Betty Grable
Let's have a look at Betty Grable
Okay so this is
The beauty standard back then
Even if they're young
They have the hair that makes them look like nannas
Yeah
But nannas aren't nannas
They're just young women now
But people age
You see 40 year olds
In this period
And they look like old women
Yes
And 40 year olds now
Are doing Edinburgh
Friends shows about
Adolting
Yes they are
People are adults now
This is, 40-year-olds is like, I'm just a big baby.
Yeah, I know.
They've got a big sippy cup.
Yeah.
I don't know how to sleep at night.
And they're wearing dungarees.
Yeah.
They don't own a, they don't own a home.
Yeah.
I'm, I, this era makes a lot of sense for my 35.
I'm 35.
Right.
But I'm 35 in 1945.
Exactly.
I feel completely out of town nowadays.
Yeah.
But like, women or people.
Captain Hepburn's gorgeous.
Yeah, gorgeous.
People don't, you know, an old woman, they're not old.
No.
They're just young in 1945.
Yeah.
So they just stay the same.
Oh, right.
So you just get old early.
So actually, when you're talking to a woman, you're talking to 1945.
And they state, so they look fair for 1945.
Anyway, so, Atley had been Churchill's deputy prime minister in the war cabinet.
And they'd all got on, as you said.
He's the longest ever serving party leader.
Is he?
35 to 55, 20 years at the top of the Labour Party.
And the big thing that kind of kicks off his.
mission is in
1942
there's this
thing called
the beverage
report
which is like
it's quite
hard to think
about now
but it's
it's like a
bestseller
what is it
like a dull
dry report
on
yeah
what would you
call it now
it's like a
white paper
or it's a
proposal
right
a think tank
it's a think tank
it's a white paper
and everyone's
it's like
50 shades of grey
oh my god
people are queuing
for the beverage
fuck and
it identifies
the five giants
on the road
to reconstruction
these
are the five pillars of socialist Islam.
I mean, this is you just look at discussing people out inside your car window.
Well, it's want, disease, ignorance, squalor and idleness, which as you say, is that's why
I shout out of the window when I drive through.
When you visited me in East London, that's exactly what I'm shafing.
But it's quite funny to translate that into nowadays, it's hungry, sick, thick, lazy
and fat.
Yeah.
That's the Labour government's mission.
Well, yeah, it's 2000s British TV.
Yeah.
It's fatest man in Britain.
Yeah.
It's all of these shows,
but as opposed to being like,
isn't this fucking hilarious?
It's been,
shouldn't we do something about it?
But now we talk about this.
It's just,
it's on Channel 5 and it's Richard Hammond.
Yeah, there's probably is a Channel 5 show
called Want to See Dignorant Squalor and Islanders.
Well,
you know, Britain's Fattest Man,
hosted by Richard Hammond,
he gets in an animated submarine
and goes inside Britain's Fattest Man
and they animate what it might look like inside,
and he's looking at all the yellow fat going,
what the fuck?
I mean,
so I guess that's a version of the Bedford Report.
The release form,
that fat guy must have signed.
It's crazy.
While that he's on a submarine inside him,
it keeps cutting back to him eating a buster,
uh,
full English.
Here we go.
Yeah,
yeah.
So this is kind of the beverage report.
Yeah, yeah.
So he's drinking it.
Imagine signing up for this.
Yeah,
we're going to put a camera in your drink while you do it just to make you look.
Oh my God.
So he's inside.
And look,
there's salmon.
I'm taking my life in my hands.
I'm taking my life in my hands.
this is crazy
for a human being
that is enormous
I mean
I'm looking
it's like pat-A
right
pause it Charlie
so
yeah
for people who aren't in TV
how they will have done this
they must have been so
convinced of the moral
nature of their quest
that they will have
have to film a lot of that in post
they will have had to go into a green screen
and get hammered to pretend
to be inside the fat man
there's so many moments
where they could question themselves
it's not a spare of the moment thing
it took a lot of hoops to jump through
you can really see
how the body positive movement
you know has quite a kickstart
to it you can see how they swing
that pendulum back
because it really did get quite
it got a bit bad
I'm going to pay
I want to use taxpayer money
To put a GoPro in someone's beer as we watch this fat guy drinking.
And then I'm going to go to a green screen and get into a submarine outfit
and call his liver like patter.
I mean...
A billionaire submersible.
But just looking at a fat guy's...
Wow, it's massive.
Ugh.
And this is a human, not a bear.
I mean, is there any more humiliated than having an animated green screen sequence
with Richard Hammond in there just saying how disgusting you're in and stuff?
Does he want to lose weight after this guy?
Or is he...
So this is, yeah, this is sort of the 40s beverage report.
This is what he's doing.
Yeah.
And the state, basically, the Benford report says that the state should look after people from cradle to brave, which is a revolutionary idea.
Because before this, it's just a wild west.
Yeah. Everyone's fucked.
But no one, you know, you had to think of these ideas before they come up.
It's easy to look back on it.
It's Jack the Ripper's Britain, basically, before this.
It's just as the East End.
Who gives a fuck.
People are just sort of, you know, waltzing down the East End, hitting women for six.
It's a bloodbath.
No one's in charge.
Yeah, they're playing, gentlemen going to the East End with a polo mallet and just fucking.
Smashing women.
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So the coalition government ends...
But do you know, Hitler got a copy of the beverage report.
Did he?
Yeah, it was such a big book during the war, but Hitler wanted...
It was like, it was like had international success.
Really?
Yeah, Hitler was interested to see what...
Wow.
So everyone was kind of interested in it.
Well, it's crazy.
That's like people queuing up, like camping outside Waterstones to get a copy of the Hutton inquiry.
I just can't imagine it now.
I'd be there.
I'll be there.
I'll be going, this is a white wizard's a disgrace.
So the election is called two weeks after victory is declared, May 23, 45.
Attlee wants to continue the coalition, so Japan been defeated, but he was vetoed.
Right.
And so the 45 elections, as we said, Churchill starts, he releases 1.6 tons of government rationed paper
to allow for the printing of extra copies of Hayek's the Road to Serfdom, which equate socialism with Nazism.
So he's just giving it all that.
He's like, the people we just defeated, this is what we would be electing.
he calls the Labour of the Gestapo
and then everyone's just like
I don't think that's not quite
quite chiming with the optimism maybe
that we're feeling about a new world
Well it was a huge shock
him losing this election right
because he's the huge war hero
and immediately gets voted out
So it always is kind of seen as quite a shock
But I guess it's because
He was never viewed as a great peacetime leader
Because they knew what he was like before
Yeah because he really
It's only when Chamberlain gets kicked out
The country's ready for Churchill
So Labor proclaims that we're a fully socialist party.
We want to build a new Jerusalem in England.
Now, the new Jerusalem in the Middle East, that's slightly more complex.
And they do build that, but we'll get that in the next episode.
So the general election takes place on the 5th of July, 945.
The results are delayed until 26th of July, so the servicemen who were based all over the world to come back and vote.
Interestingly, this happens over Potsdam, which is the end of the war conference.
So Churchill and Attlee, I think, are over there.
Is Attlee over there with him?
Yeah, yeah.
because he's such an important member of the war cabinet.
Now, apparently, Churchill is basically talking complete bollets.
I mean, he's pissed.
He's pissed.
But that gets him so far, but it's a bad performance.
So Stalin supposedly hated Churchill's dog Rufus,
who had a seat in the Commons.
And, oh, look at him.
Come on.
What is he?
That looks like a sort of poo.
I think he's a poodle, yeah.
A poodle mix.
Like a sort of modern-day, kind of cockapoo, cavapoo type thing.
It feels like Churchill should have had a bull.
dog because that's just what the car insurance
has been. Yeah, dogs look like their owners
and he literally looks like a dog.
Stalin supposedly hated Rufus
and asked for Churchill
to stop bringing him, but Churchill just brought him in anyway.
And then Churchill discusses
the iron curtain and Stalin's
translator translates it as a metal drape
and then Stalin gets confused as to why
Churchill's afraid of a household item.
So anyway, Churchill's performance is very bad
and halfway through the conference the election results
happen. So he just, he gets defeated
So Attlee then comes and is like the main guy.
And it's a great photo of him.
He's just walking around being like, fucking hell.
He's sat next to fucking Truman and Stalin and just, and he's got that giddy smile.
Yeah, he's like, uh, it's like, yeah, it's a competition winner.
Yeah.
He's a competition winner.
It's the definition of imposter syndrome.
At little At little at his, look at his face.
Look at his face.
It's like, yeah, it's like meet, um, meet the prime minister.
But he is the prime minister.
So Truman and Stalin and then he's like, hello.
It's be the prime minister.
What are we doing then?
What are we doing?
Look at his little face.
He's so happy.
Yeah.
Giddy little Atley.
Little Clement.
Clement.
So Clement, the Labor win, 393 to 197, massive swing.
Yeah.
Atley is very surprised.
And then there's this whole business about how I think even though when Labor win, there's like, there's a coup within the Labor Party.
I can't remember who it is.
Someone else is like, oh, maybe I'll go.
It might be Gates School.
Might be someone else.
Yeah.
Or is it Morrison.
So, Morrison, Herbert Morrison, who is Peter Mandelson's grandson.
Was he deputy prime minister?
I think he was, yeah, but he was high up.
He basically's like, maybe I'll go and fucking be prime minister.
Because they won.
Clearly anyone could be prime minister.
Well, they just didn't really think they were going to win.
Yeah.
And then, but then Atley's wife is like, let's just go there now and meet the king.
It's basically first of the king gets to be PM.
Yeah, first come first serve.
Yeah, it is first come first serve.
So she drives him to accept the king's office to form a new government.
And she drives him everywhere.
Yeah. But she's a shocking driver.
Terrible drive.
But this is 1945.
This must be one of the first women drivers.
Yeah.
She's also an innovator.
Yes.
And again, an extremist.
Atley's one of the first people to let his wife drive.
So can Atley not drive?
Can Atley drive?
No, I don't think so.
Yeah, but so why was he getting his wife to drive him?
But she would get frequent...
Yeah, she's fucking knocking over old ladies.
She's killing dog.
Frequent fines.
It was like GTA driving.
Yeah.
erratic impulsive
just mounting the curb
bins everywhere
but that fast driving
is what got him there
to the king first
and she drives this old banger
and Churchill's driving
a roll roy
so it's kind of like
the man of the people
flies into Buckingham Palace
smashes him
hello right so let's go through
his cabinet
so you could argue
that all the things
that get done
are sort of
because he has this amazing
he's a very talented
yeah
which how much of that's luck
of the draw
I'm doing this series
looking over research for great governments
it's like, are you just lucky to get the talent
that defines, everything has to come together
right? Trust was unlucky. Trust was unlucky.
Because they were just like, fucking hell, she's hot.
Of course I work in her government. You know, they're
just drooling a long time.
They can't concentrate. Anyway,
so, yeah, also this is the era
of big beasts, isn't it, which we're not in anymore?
What do you mean? Political big beasts.
Yes, and is that just because
great historical events
make great historical figures
possibly I say you have big beast up until the end
of Brown's government
What's a big beast in your
Like a political
You know someone who's just
Yeah
I don't know they're a big beast
Yeah because it does feel like the talent in politics
Is there being away
Richard Bergen
Is it because
Is it because there's less money in it
There's less respect in it
Britain's a less powerful country
So it's less new
There's also no new ideas
Yeah
So it's just a fabricant
He's a beast
Yeah fabs
I thought he was a joke character
when I first saw his face.
He does look like a joke character,
but he's a real man.
It feels like there's a stand
he wakes up with a dummy of him
with the wig on.
He has to take off every morning.
So, Atley's cabinet,
you've got Ernest Bevin.
Ernest and Clement.
Ernest and Clement.
Ernest and Clement.
Herbert.
He's a beast.
Herbert Morrison is the sort of biggest rival.
I mean, Bevan's probably the real ideas guy.
Well, no, that's Bevan.
There's Bevan and Bevan.
Oh, fuck.
So Bevin is the foreign secretary.
Right.
Bevan is the health guy who makes the NHS.
Herbert Morrison, Peter Mandelson's grandfather.
So is he a kind of, is he a sort of scheming gay?
Yeah.
Machiavellian.
Maciavellian character, Herbert Morrison.
So it runs in the family.
Constantly going to do like that.
He's kind of, no, he's all sass.
At least does something.
He goes, mm.
Yes.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, he's doing a lot of that.
Yeah.
He's like clicking like, yeah.
Hughes Alton is Chancellor until 47
He's replaced by Stafford Crips
Vegetarian T-Totaler
Yeah they're quite a self-serious or steer bunch
Because I guess this Labour government coming in after the kind of
The kind of fuck party, the Churchill kind of era
Where everyone's these kind of like gin drinking old boys and waistcoats
These guys are quite like serious
Serious adults who are coming to like do some actual change
Which is weird that it chimes with the country
because the country is obviously just, you know,
they've spent four years sucking off
soldiers for Yorkies in bombed out cities.
And now they're, you know,
that's what the thing, when everyone's like,
oh, my granny's so uptight, it's like, she's fucking,
you live through the war.
If she wanted some chocolate, she had to notch off
a fucking constable.
She's not right I mean.
Of course, she's tight now.
She's tight now.
So, Bevann's the real extremist.
Right, right.
Anurin.
Fuck, yeah.
Anurin.
Anurin Ernest Clement.
And urine.
What a weird name.
Bevan.
Anurin, Bevan.
An Nye, Welsh, Welsh, Anne Urin.
Now that sounds like a double-barreled first name, like Anne Urine.
And urine.
Anne-Urin.
And he's the one with the big ideas, right?
He's the big ideas guy.
And he came up with the National Health Service.
Basically.
So the cabinet members is a lot of infighting.
And this sort of start, the seeds of the Labour factionalism starts here.
Because you have Gates Galites, who's sort of the, I guess, the ancestor of Blair
and to the right of party.
and Bevanites, who's, you know, the idealist.
Corbyn, Ben, that sort of thing.
How did Attlee become PM?
What did he do in his early life?
How was he so boring and yet so successful?
Yeah.
You know, public school, blah, blah, blah.
But he loved his public school as well,
even though he was a socialist.
He would wear all the old school ties,
would not stop talking about it.
He was like a real old boy.
Yeah, and that doesn't happen.
Nowadays, public school socialists sort of, you know,
they're burning their ties.
It's trying to hide the fact that he was a public school.
Whereas at least this guy kind of stood by it.
Because you could be a patrician
Yeah
Which you are, no one's a patrician anymore, are they?
What does patrician actually mean?
Patrician means that we will like guide the country
Yeah, we will help the poor
Paternalistic.
Yeah, there's no.
The paternalistic rich.
Yeah, exactly.
It's like we will help the poor from our position at the top.
We're not going to elevate the poor to us.
God no.
No, this is rigidly class society.
I find them repulsive.
They're disgusting and they smell and they're fat.
we will hand them down.
We'll send in Richard Hammond to examine.
Richard Hammond of the patrician.
I'm getting the submarine.
That's fucking massive.
You're disgusting.
You need help.
I'll help you as a thin,
rich person.
But I definitely think it's like,
because we've made it so shameful
to be from a privileged background,
it's not like there's less privileged people
getting into position of power.
What we've created is the same amount of privilege.
It's just everyone is doing gymnastics
to prove that they're not privileged.
Do you know what I mean?
That's the problem.
Yeah.
If you made it kind of acceptable
to be born how you're born
and it's just the contents
of what you do in your life,
it'd be a lot better
than everyone being like,
well, my dad's best mate
is cleaner and went to state school.
Yeah.
All right.
My dad's Butler's working class.
So, no, actually.
Yeah, no, I did go to private school
but wasn't one of the best private school.
Like, especially in comedy,
everyone is just doing back.
No, no, it's not,
I'm only posh because my parents are actors
we actually really work in class.
Yeah, yeah.
It's amazing what people will do.
I mean, technically I was raped at public school
because we call it fagging.
so actually if you want you know I'm a victim really I didn't choose to go to the school
and you'll be in a room where everyone is privileged basically and everyone's just trying to
one up each other but if you could just accept where you're actually from it would be a lot
better yeah like yeah my dad bought me a house no I'm not hosting refugees of it
no fuck off why don't you fuck off why don't you fuck off I think there's more respect to someone
going why don't you fuck off yeah it's my house someone worked very hard I don't know who
Someone way back worked hard.
But that's all it took.
Yeah.
If you want a big house,
maybe your great grandfather
should have fucking worked hard.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Why are we not,
why are we not,
why are we not going on the attack
for other people's shit great-grandfathers?
Yeah.
I'm sorry your great-great-grandfather
was a fucking idiot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Was your granddad an aunt
and you get banged up,
lost all the money?
Yeah, I'm not going to get my spare room
to a refugee.
I've got an exercise bike that needs to go there.
Where's the Peloton going to go?
You know where people say,
my dad'll be up your dad.
Why aren't we saying,
well my granddad was richer than your granddad and that's why you're fat and thick
why don't bring back
patrician is that what a patrician is we're a patrician podcast
we genuinely are because our listeners are very thick and fat and smelly
you're right and we obviously apart from charlie we smell fine so yeah and we're just
kind of a pied piper leading them to well you can only you can't lead a horse to water
but you can't make a drink we're giving people information yeah we're leaving alls to
mountain dew yeah so uh we're
While volunteering in East London, Atlee is shocked by the poverty.
Yeah, he's in Stepney.
He becomes a socialist after he realizes that poverty is systemic
and not due to character flaws, which I disagree with.
I'm of the Hammond School.
I'm getting in a summary.
You're saying there should be a new Myers-Briggs test,
and that's basically how poor or rich you are.
It's like your personality defines.
Yeah, how thick and fat are you?
And that's directly tied to income.
So Atley, he fought him.
World War I. And again, the story of this whole series, all of these politicians pretty
much. Everyone fought in a war. Everyone is a war veteran. Everyone is exhausted. No one can sleep.
Everyone is drinking to just squash the memories. Yeah. And trying to... They've aged so much
more than they actually are. Because they've fought in the most traumatic event. A third
year old man in 1950 looks like a 70 year old and nowadays. Because they sent their 20 storming
beaches in Italy. Yeah. Atlee is commissioned as a lieutenant promoted to major in World War I. He's
carried off the battlefield three times. We don't know that.
a heroic thing
or a...
You were so annoying
fuck off
the final time
he was injured
in battle was due
to confusion
because Turks
were retreating
without the British
realising
well because
he got injured
in Gallipoli
and it's interesting
that Churchill
I wonder if there's
anything like that
is Churchill sent
Attley to go
get injured
you know
with the failed
Gallipoli campaign
Oh and then
they end up being
like a sort of
buddy cop
yeah that's interesting
he gets shot
in friendly fire
and a chunk of
his buttock
is sliced off
by shrapnel
so he's got a bit
of his booty
missing
but he's proud
of his war record
his brother
as a consciousness objector and imprisoned as a result
quite right. So he comes
into power in 45
having become leader
in 35. Yeah and so because there's
a lot of talented people around him who could have
been leader I think the reason why he came to power
over them is because he was kind of
the least divisive. Yeah. Because of
his boringness you can sort of project a bit
onto his baldy head. Yeah. You can
see your own flesh. You can project a film onto his bald head
and the film's really interesting
but the head is very boring. Yeah, he's got a shiny
forehead and you can see yourself, you're a
And he go, I quite like that guy.
Yeah, maybe he thinks like I do.
I can see me in his head.
God, I can just, I really relate to that guy.
Can you or can you just see your reflection in his bald head?
But that's often why the boring people end up in power.
It's because they just end up.
As opposed to make our garbage up and people are like, what the fuck?
Who the fucking fuck is that?
And I got something on my head.
So, Atley, I mean, I think part of the reason is that he's quite a social conservative.
Yeah.
And yet he's going on this massive campaign of sort of societal socialism.
Yeah.
So people feel like he's not an extremist because socially...
But this was quite common in the era
and I think left-wing politics now,
kind of like economic left-wing
is always so tied to social left-wing behaviour.
It feels like this was much more common
to be a social centre-conservative,
but want socialised healthcare.
Yes.
But then just don't be a fucking...
But that's blue...
Dress up at least.
That's blue labour, isn't it?
Now, have you seen that fraction of blue labour?
What's that?
Which is like, well, well, people shouldn't be gay,
but the NHS should exist.
Right.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, I'm probably paraphrasing,
but that's kind of what their thing is.
So he's very, he's middle class,
but is devastated by the stepney.
And so that's kind of,
so he comes into power on the back of the beverage report.
And essentially their mandate is to implement the beverage report.
Yeah.
Domestically.
So the government embarks in this radical extremist program of social reforms.
Pretty much as soon as he comes into office,
the big night night bomb goes out.
Night night.
Pat, go to bed, night, night, bang. August 45. And then six days after that, the Americans
suddenly, without warning, terminate this lend lease agreement, which is basically what, the entire
funding for the British state during the war. Yeah, the whole thing has been propped up by the
Americans and they just pull it out from under us. Because also remember America, this is now
in America's most powerful. And as much as with their allies with us, they still do not want us to be
that powerful.
No.
Because they are basically taking over our empire.
Yeah.
So they're going to keep us at arm's length for this period as they just kind of consolidate
all of our colonial assets.
And Britain is completely bankrupt.
Yeah.
And America isn't.
No.
Because they've not really fought the war on their turf at all.
But I think because we've been such good allies, we thought they'd be a bit more generous.
That's Britain.
Yeah.
I'm an ally.
But for the American imperialism.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm an ally.
I'm an ally.
I'm an ally of American imperialism.
wearing like a
woolly hat
this is what
an American
imperialist looks like
T-shirt
yeah I'm an ally
but it's fascinating
seemingly overnight
we go from
the Roman Empire
to fucking Sweden
yeah
we go from
this global empire
to like
the welfare state
yeah
that's the big transition
that's what Atley does
I remember
reading a sentence
somewhere
that was
it might have been
in a Nick Cohen
book
where it's like
you could interpret
this era
as America
is funding Britain
to experiment with socialism
because that's sort of
45 to 79 is kind of
is almost a
or no what's the term
it's an outlier
in the whole story
Women's Hour, the great experiment
is a great experiment
it's fails
So they then negotiate
this 3.75 billion dollar loan
from the US
The loan is a big deal
We send in our big guy
Keynes.
Keens. Is it Keynes?
Keynes or Keynes? John Maynard
Keynes. John Milton Keynes.
like Kenya.
Kenya.
We'll get to Kenya and Churchill this episode.
So he is the most famous economist in the world.
Yeah.
He has a whole school of thought,
which is kind of about how the state should be guiding the economy.
Yeah.
But letting it be free.
It's kind of like classical liberalism with a heart, I guess, Keynesian.
I don't know.
I don't know.
But we send him in.
It's the period we just send him in to try and negotiate it with America.
Yeah.
And we just kind of get fucked in the deal.
They go fuck off.
Because we, and then we keep saying.
saying, can we have more, and they keep saying,
we can have less than what we started with.
So they go, no, we asked for more, actually.
Yeah, so they were going to give us like $10 billion,
and then we went in to ask $15 billion,
and they said, well, we'll give you $8 billion.
They were like, all right, we'll have $10 billion.
They're like, no, how about we give you $6 billion?
And it just keeps going down, and then we have to settle.
But basically, they get this loan, and then before the money runs out,
they just do everything.
Yeah, they literally, in 46, it's called the Annas Mirabalus,
the miracle year.
So all of these changes happen.
the domestic stuff. Family
Allowances Act, 45.
Weekly payments to families with children
paid directly to the mothers. We've now
thankfully retracted this. The first
universal benefit. Benefit fraud starts here.
Right.
Fat Northern Mums with too many kids. Yeah, they start
in 45. There's Paté Newsreel
of people going, you're not earning that.
You scam! The National
Insurance Act 46. I still
don't understand national insurance.
No. That starts here.
What am I insuring against?
I don't know. Right.
People are covered sickness, maternity, widowhood and retirement.
Yeah. National Health Service Act, 46.
Yeah.
This is not launched until 48.
But this is, this is absolutely bananas.
Yeah, I mean, like, for the time.
Yeah.
And it happened so quickly.
So quickly.
And they basically take all local hospitals and just go, I'm going to control all of them.
Yeah.
And it works for a bit.
The NHS is launched on the 5th of July, 1948.
The first step on the long road to Harold Shipman.
The National Assistance Act, 48, replaces the
Poor law?
Poor law.
What is the poor law?
Poor law.
If you're poor.
That's historical welfare, which basically means a combination of outdoor relief, indoor relief.
Oh, that's workhouses and stuff, right.
And then Education Act is just raises the school leaving age.
Blah, blah, blah.
So let's deal with the NHS.
Because that's sort of the thing that we still have today is the NHS.
Cause cabinet tension primarily due to concerns about the role of GPs and the extent
of state control.
God, that must be
a fun meeting.
Yeah.
Because some people
do think that this is like
a totalitarian,
it's an authoritarian
thing, the NHS.
But I guess what's,
what's Britain's such a contradiction
where it's like imperial,
it's conservative,
but then this is more socialist
than socialism.
This is like,
there's a lot of like nationalised
health care's,
but still worldwide,
it's the first free on the point
of access healthcare system
in the world.
And still like,
even like countries
that have really good healthcare,
they don't have it
as extreme as the NHS.
No.
And it just is like such a...
Well, this is how extreme it is, is that
Bevan ends up resigning
when they bring in
prescription charges for dentists.
They go, I can't work with this.
Yeah.
This is a capitulation.
Yeah.
Bevan only gets it through
because Atley is strongly supporting him.
Yeah.
They build a million homes,
whatever.
Hideous homes, they build.
Disgusting homes.
The prefab.
Yes.
Oh yeah, get the prefab, Charlie.
So this is, they can't really afford
to build actual homes
because they don't have any building materials.
Yeah.
With fucking skin.
Yeah.
So they've basically
They've built like sort of
What what people now
Like shepherd huts essentially
People will now have
Garden offices
Yeah
They put families of six in
Yeah
In like suburbia
They last to like the 70s
These prefab houses
I know
Because we assume that we'll get more money
At some point
They just never comes
It just never comes
So
In total
Atley nationalises
20% of the economy
Now this is all going very well
Yeah
And in 47
Anas Horribalus
Yeah
Bad bum
This is the worst winter
of the century
Until 179 I think
Oh right
Yeah
But that's the kind of
You can
Is 79 a worse
actual winter
I mean like
Temperature wise
than 47
Because this series
is really bracketed
By two bad winters
Yeah
47 is significantly colder
So the average temperature
was fucking
4 points
minus 4.6
And this is when
there's like fuel
There's a fuel crisis
During the worst winter
Rationing goes on
for so long
That's what people
forget
is there's rationing in the world,
but it doesn't stop to like 54.
Yeah.
And so the food these people are eating is horrendous.
So they've got tickets and they're like,
you know when you used to get shoes as a kid,
you used to get your ticket and wait to be caught?
Yeah.
They're doing that for like a sandwich.
For like a little thimble of lard.
Yeah.
And they're eating,
they're getting like one portion of meat a week.
Yeah.
And then the government suggested like all these different recipes
with what you can do in rationing.
Oh, they're trying to get everyone into snook.
Yeah, and it's just terrible food.
The stinky fish.
So they have the South African fish, right, which is disgusting.
Yeah.
And they're trying to get everyone to buy it.
And spam and snook comes in here.
It's all tinned meat.
That's the only thing they can access.
And then people start rebelling because they're like, this is fucking disgusting.
Can we have an egg?
Does the food in this country doesn't really recover until maybe Blair, the 90s?
Because it's pretty fucking horrendous.
Well, I think it's a generation of people that are raised on tinned fish.
They just got used to it.
Yeah.
And this, this, what?
I like Tim fish.
I don't mind like.
That's because you still see your granny, Patricia.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like, this is how it's passed down.
Did you eat assholes?
I don't think that.
It doesn't mean anything.
Yeah, you eat men's assholes.
So I guess snuck salads are the day off here, isn't it?
Yeah.
Snook salads fucking mouthwash compared to what you're gnawing down on the weekend.
Was your granny, what was your grandparents like?
Were they very much part of that waste, not want, not.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Soup.
Yeah.
And it's like, what have you got, blend it eating a soup.
Yeah.
Do you reckon they were into butt stuff?
My grandparents.
Yeah. I don't think either set were into butt stuff, no.
Right.
I guess you never know.
So my...
Yeah, I don't think I'm not going to ask my parents.
Though my dad's side of the family, as you said, are trash, a muck.
Yeah.
Oh, they're into butt stuff.
All of the goulds have a way of ending up being on the lucky side.
So my grand and grandparents were, they ran a British restaurant during the war.
So they never had to ration, basically.
Oh, great.
So it was just...
They were just piling at him.
So they don't have any of that attitude at all.
They're just somehow always get out of stuff.
So the American loan is completely exhausted by 47.
So bread rationing comes in 48.
I mean, they've taken it a long way, to be fair.
They've really used that loan.
Because now when you hear about a loan coming into the UK
or any big load of money, you're like,
you're not going to see any of it.
No.
It just fucking disappears.
It's gone already.
Yeah.
It just feels like they actually spent this.
So Atley starts to kind of lose the middle close.
Yeah. And also, sorry, the loan, the stipulation of the loan was that they had to make a pound easily convertible into dollars.
Yeah. And then everyone just converted pounds to dollars and we just, we had to go back on it because it was fucking us completely.
Which triggers this massive crisis. I don't quite understand. There's a lot of devaluation stuff going on because this is, when does devaluation end? I think it was when I was a kid or something.
But it's literally the fade. It's quite an amicable fade from Britain to America as the global power.
Which I don't think ever has happened. Yeah. In history, you're,
don't fade to global empires where it's just like yep you can have that what else do you want
you know yeah it's just like you can take all my stuff i'm not going to use it anymore the rife
doesn't fade out no snuffed out so the bad winter yeah people aren't uh they like ration
your fires and stuff right so you can only sit by a round of fire in minus four degrees for like
two hours a day why because it's coal because they haven't got any coal they've got fucking
anything it's an energy crisis people are queuing for like one one one one
slice of bread and some tinned fish.
Yeah.
The clothes, people...
Is this pre-fidget spinner as well?
Yes.
So they didn't even have those.
No.
They literally had to sit and think
and listen to shit radio.
The clothes women had to wear were like,
they had to fashion old men's suits
into clothes for women.
I think there's an argument to say
that at least Britain's the least sexy Britain's ever been.
Americans would say, that's where all the bad teeth stuff came from.
We had like greasy hair.
We couldn't wash ourselves, you know.
But it explains our grandparents.
generation, don't you think?
Oh, totally.
It explains completely how they are.
Yeah.
Just this sort of like,
that the stoicism all comes from this.
Yeah, totally.
Do you think you'd have had
lower standards?
Like, what would they think now?
Yeah, obviously.
Yeah, they didn't have higher standards.
They're fucking eating snook salad.
Would they just, if someone from back then came now to this time,
would they just be really, really horny here?
That's what they say.
Would they just have like a permanent rock on?
Well, yeah, yeah.
Of course they would.
Wait, wait, wait, they'd be just timely erect because of how attracted to everyone.
Someone from Attlee's Britain.
You'd show them.
my Instagram
Discover page.
I mean,
yeah,
if they saw a
discover page,
their head would fall off.
Yeah.
The head would absolutely fall off.
Clemente's head would fall off.
I mean,
they're getting turned on,
they're masturbating over
lamp posts because they sort of
look like a woman's leg.
Yeah, yeah.
They can't believe it.
They're taking out a woman
for tin, stinky fish.
Yeah, yeah.
So the government is essentially
on this socialist spending spree
backed by the martial aid
and American loans
and Britain is sort of,
but at the same,
time, at the same time Britain is being dragged into foreign affairs that I start to take away
the focus from the domestic policy. And you could argue at Lee, away from home is very different
to at home. He's not got a good away record. Sort of like you, you're quite different at home than
you are away from home. Yes. Yeah, definitely. Uncomfortable. I'm still wearing this whenever I go
abroad. I do, I would do wonder if there's, because there's a generation above us that like
them relaxing is like cords and a, and a still starchy collared shirt with a jumper.
Yeah, you start the day you put your trousers on,
you don't take them off until bedtime.
You were never outside your bedroom without trousers.
Other than something's definitely gone,
something horribly has gone wrong.
Yeah.
If you're caught outside your bedroom with no trousers on,
then you need to get back into your bedroom as quickly as possible.
That's that generation's mindset.
I'm like that.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, even just watching TV and jeans,
that's when my housemate does,
it still seems ridiculous.
It's the end of...
I take my trousers off as soon as I walk through the door.
Really?
Get into shorts or trackies depending on the...
Oh, house shorts.
I have house shorts.
Yeah.
And they're disgusting.
Sitting down on my sofa and trousers, I feel ridiculous.
I feel absolutely absurd.
It feels formal, doesn't it?
You've got someone coming around.
Who am I impressing?
It's my nan coming around.
I'm going to have tea in the front room.
Yeah, when do people start wearing shorts in the house, I guess?
Is it the 90s?
It feels like, yeah.
The 80s.
There's little, we used to call them dick shorts.
Well, yeah, 80s is the big transition where it all starts.
Thatcher, isn't it?
Thatcher frees the hogs.
Thatcher frees the British hog to just run wild.
Is it illegal to drive with your hog out?
I think so
I was doing
I drove pretty much
the whole way down
from Scotland
with my hog out
did you
yeah
yeah
what you're
were you in a rental
that might
that may go across
just no just with my
just with my sort of
uh
ripped around a bit
ripped around a bit
ripped
I don't think it's illegal
but it probably
which gear stick
were you using then
I think that may have gone
against the rental
company's policy
rather than the law
were you masturbating
wild driver
I really wanted to
my gosh
oh Christ
genuinely
you drove back for
menma with your hogout
yeah
and just like looking
at the wind turbines
and the cows
just like fucking
I'm amazed you got here.
I'm amazed you didn't crash.
You were looking at wind turbines,
fiddling with your holl?
How long was the journey?
Like 11 hours, somehow?
That's crazy.
The fact that we sent him on his own,
we shouldn't have done that.
But he still would have got his hog out
if he was with anyone else.
We couldn't put anyone in for a VHR issue.
Well, yeah, we couldn't afford a company chaperone.
I actually really enjoyed it.
I bet you did, mate.
You've fucking had a wank for 11 hours.
Christ.
I didn't come to I got home.
Right.
Well, that sets us up perfectly.
for our next episode where we will deal with Atlee's foreign policy, India, Pakistan, Israel, Palestine, North Korea, South Korea.
It's Spicetown.
Now that episode's already on our page.
All terrible at football.
Yeah, they are all terrible at football.
Geopolitically interesting, football-wise, not very interesting these matches.
No, I must say this is not the football that we're dealing with next episodes.
It's the geopolitics, which Britain does have a, yeah, this is not great stuff, a lot of this for us.
Luckily, it doesn't have long-term ramifications, any of this.
No, luckily, yeah, it all gets pretty sorted out.
Don't worry, it gets sorted out.
It's a good story.
It could have been bad, but luckily, they've all sorted all this stuff out.
Somehow, India, Pakistan's the least contentious of the three.
Somehow.
Now, that episode's already on our Patreon as well as the next, I don't know.
Up until 1964, that's when we're splitting the series.
So all those episodes are all in the Patreon where for £3 a month, you can join one of the ugliest communities.
You can get in a submarine and go into the...
The bellies of very fat men,
and some women, terrifyingly, on our Patreon,
where you get early access to series
and ad-free listening and bonus episodes every Friday.
And I must stress that while we're doing this epic series,
we are doing two concurrent Patreon series,
which is the Great Train Robbery
and the Jeremy Thorpefair, which is fucking insane.
They're great, great patron series.
Great patron series.
Lots of fun.
So...
For Just a Thruppence, we'll show you a woman's dirty tuppence.
Yeah, Charlie has free reign in his episodes.
He's...
Actually, he does those records with his hogout.
I imagine.
Anyway, that's Atlee
Part 1.
We will see you
next time for Atley
Part 2
and we are off.
We're off to the races
on our biggest ever
series.
See you next time.