Fin vs History - Every Führer Needs A Fat Best Friend | Hermann Göring & The Luftwaffe (Part 1)

Episode Date: March 2, 2026

Hitler, Himmler and Göring - did someone say dream blunt rotation?  The Battle of Britain (Part One) The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened.    For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon   ⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/fintaylor⁠⁠   Link to our merch here: ⁠fumblerooskiproductions.com/store⁠  Chapters: 00:00 - The Gluttonous Nazi  05:34 - Fat Upper Pussy Area 08:30 - Epstein’s Aura Farm 14:26 - A Large Porkfolio  17:17 - The Enemy Within 23:53 - We’re A Community! 26:50 - Nazi Prayer Beads  29:11 - Bad Day To Be A Beer 32:12 - Hitler’s Your Best Man  38:53-  Down Syndrome Nazi  44:53 - Warphine 51:38 - Nazi’s In Paris  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This one goes out to down to the middle of a divorce. It's Finn versus history and with Horatio Gould. Don't be goring. And we're talking about Herman Guring. It's a Nazi week. Rejoice. Thank the Lord. I'm in my safe space.

1940s Germany. Have a look around. There's a cornucopia of things. What's going on over there? I mean, this is the spin-off side series. Nazis, right? If Hitler's the main show. This is sort of the, what's the Joey spin-off?

Oh, yeah. What was the Joey? It was called Joey, wasn't it? It was just called Joey. Well, yeah, he would, in the TV show, Gering would have, would be the first one to get a spin-off, probably. I think he's probably the most charismatic Nazi. He's Hitler's fat, fat best friend.

Yeah. Every rom-com needs a fat best friend. Yeah. He's got the most Riz, I think, of the Nazi hike. 100%. 100%. Yeah. He's... He's a glutton, which adds a lot,

because the combination of being gluttonous and Nazi. Yeah. It's like the cold methodical discipline of a lot of Nazis. Not Gurring. Not Gurring. He's like evil and fat. It's glorious. You know, if the Nazis are the seven dwarves,

Goering's the happy one. Herman Goering and the Lefaffe, this is a three-part series. Next episode we'll be doing the Battle of Britain and the Blitz. And we'll be joined by Al Murray, an actual historian. Well, yeah.

Terrifying. The spirit medium between the two worlds. Yes, will the streams cross? but today we're talking about Herman Guring the fat Nazi I never heard him speak but in my head he sounds

like Gunther from the Simpsons don't you're all that full of chocolate Oh don't tick with me al fat Second only to Adolf Hitler In the hierarchy of Nazi leaders In the hierarchy of people you admire most In my ideal dinner party He's the second person I'm putting down

Dream Blunt rotation I think there's probably a photo Your Dream Blunt rotation It's just Nazi high command Yeah just get it up Just get the three of them up Just get Guring Himmler, Hitler and Albert Speer at the

Berthus garden and go, yeah, that's my five-a-side team, right there. Gurings in goal. Goerings in goal. You put the fat lad in goal. Fat lad in goal. There we go. Dreamblunt rotation. Hitler's henchman. Now, Gering, very intelligent man. Not my words. Not my words.

He was the highest-ranking Nazi to stand trial in Nuremberg. He saw through a lot of bullshit, this guy. He saw through the bullshit. He saw 1930s Germany. Let's just cut the crap. Let's cut the crap. Them.

Bin. That lot in the bin and them. We made a lot of tough decisions than he made. He was a practice. Can you implement the ideas of Hitler? Gerenka. Yeah. You know, this is a man who, when the Nazis form government, Hitler gives him a minister without portfolio.

And what does he do? He sets up the Gestapo. He gets a portfolio. I'll tell you, I'll find a fucking portfolio. It's called the Gestapo. Imagine Imagine you We have ministers

Without a portfolio Like Michael Gove What does that mean It means you're just In the cabinet Because you're a good chap Okay But you don't have a particular role

So just personality hire Basically Yeah It's more just like Michael Gove Someone has sound Of that guy I mean

I mean old sniffy goes It's more like Gove's been You know He's been across all the briefs Yeah We should have him in the room Yeah But he shouldn't be in charge

Of any particular Sure Sure Goering's in the room Being like I've got an idea What about this What about

He is Augusta's gloop, because I think probably the funniest fat people are German. It does... Fat German Nazi. Yeah. Yeah, it's so... The triumphor it. Yeah, it is. The Holy Trinity.

Fat German Nazi. In terms of comedy, I know that you can get better than fat German Nazi. But it is... Every country, it's funny having fat versions of them. But German... For some reason, it just... The language coming out of the red cheeks, the pork obsession, the camp, the camp,ness.

Yeah, no, it is. It is, I mean, the Chinese fat people are very satisfying. Satisfying, for sure. Rub their belly, squeeze their cheeks. But it just makes you feel satisfied. It's not making me laugh in the same way. No, a fat German person running away is. Oh, no.

Also, Leidenhausen, that's probably his funny, an outfit of that's like big babies. They look like big babies. Seems like Garon loved everything Well, not everything You know what? This man loved life He did He did

He had a passion for life A joie de vivre Jaude de vivre You know He loved the finest things in life Hitler was of course More of an ascetic man He spurned

He's vegetarian Supposedly Sexless If you'd like to believe The revisionist tripe That Channel 4 put out these days Stoic. Yes, he's a stoic.

But he also embodied the struggle of the nation famously. His words. His words. I'm quoting. I must stress that a lot of the times I'm quoting, but I don't say I'm quoting. Your Honor. You might have to edit in air quotes for you.

You might have these big, like, cartoon. Get to the end of the record. Reduce and pickups. Yep, Finn, just do this six times. But as in Hitler was, you know, he was a health obsessive. Yes. Goering was a cream bun obsessive. He loved, never, get a photo of him up when he's at his fat as, Charlie.

I don't think anyone's ever looked like they enjoy proffiteroles more. There it. Look at that one there on the top screen. That's crazy. Yeah, there he is. He's loving it. Oh, yeah. He's fucking, oh, how long.

Standing to attention. He's almost like a, he's like a capital D shape. That's the thing about the German fatness is it's around. Because I feel sometimes British fat people, there's a sort of. sloppiness there. The German, it's the tight bellies. There's a shape. Yeah.

Because it's a pilsnet and it's pork. Yeah. And, you know, I think we've said this before, but there is a, it's also in the Goring's case, it's hard drugs. Yes. But you can be fat in a graceful way, in a cartoonish way. And you can be fat in a way that makes it seem like your character is poor. Your character is, oh, right.

Yes, of course. Which is when it's like spilling over the side of mobility. When it's documentary fat, not a cartoon. Cartoon. Cartoon. If you're fat. I should be able to quickly draw your body shape for about five seconds.

I should have to go like this. Nope. Done. You're a snowman. You're snowman. Two circles. You're two circles. Done.

You should have no more complications than that. But when there's the mobility scooter and there's the sides coming down and then there's the basket with all the Doritos in it. Well, I think Goring was maybe saved by his execution from the mobility scooter. I think maybe the head. To be fair.

It's easy to judge the headiness positively at his pomp. Mm. Yes. You know, the final years of the hedonist, I think maybe don't look as good. Charlie, what have you found? That's a very fat man on the screen. I think this is the fattest German ever. And his name?

He's very old. This is around Nazi time. His name is H-Fague. 923. So this is sort of Weimar, Germany. Wow, if you're fat in Weimar, Germany, yeah, he's got a... What's impressive there is that the bulge of the trousers goes out further than the bulge of the... How do you go to the toilet?

This man does not have man. bobs, he has a sort of gunt. Yeah, he is a real, yeah. That's the biggest fooper I've ever seen. For people don't know what that is. That's a fat upper pussy area. Is that what it is? Yeah, what did you think it was?

No, I thought I, I knew. I didn't think it was pussy. I thought it was pubic. Oh, I always know. I don't think it's fat upper pussy area. Type in what's fooper is. Let's find this out right now. I think you're getting confused.

Pubing area. Yeah. I don't think there's, you know, I'm not. the biologist, famously, I don't think there's a pussy area. You know, I think there's a pubic area and then below that is a pussy. Right, right. Maybe. We can't. We can't know. Sometimes I look at people, though, this fat and go, I don't know what's down there. I mean, whether it's a cock or a pussy, he has no way of knowing. He doesn't know. So, how should I know? You know, you do get to a certain weight and you are gender neutral. Yeah. Um, anyway.

Uh, where are my gloves? Come on, heat. A day now. Winter is hard, but your groceries don't have to be. This winter, stay warm. Tap the banner to order your groceries online at voila.ca. Enjoy in-store prices without leaving your home. You'll find the same regular prices online as in-store. Many promotions are available both in-store and online, though some may vary.

Let's get into the story of Herman Goering. The man who was in charge of the Luftwaffe. His mother, Fanny, came from a Bavarian peasant family. his father Heinrich Gehring was a high-ranking German diplomat and colonial official who had spent time in Haiti as a general. Well do you remember when we did Papa Doc in the run-up there was a large in World War I

you know the Germans were trying to get and bothered in the Caribbean blood clat all that Herman did not meet his parents until he was three not to you know strip him of agency but you're saying this is something Freud very traumatic child is very traumatic child Dean got shouted on while he was on the loo, and that's why I did all the Nazi stuff. We can't know.

Now, the family ultimately depends on the largesse of Herman's godfather, a man called Herman Eppenstein. Excuse me? Excuse me? Come again. Herman Epenstein, who was a wealthy Jewish businessman. Excuse me? History does not repeat, but it rhymes. Oh, what's the poem? Epstein's Island, a wealthy Jewish businessman.

businessman. Who is fucking Herman Eppenstein? And what did he do for fun, crucially? Yeah, it's a long line, isn't it?

This is the long road to Little St. James. So, oh wow. Now, do you know what? We're going to look at a photo now.

But when I've, when I've been looking at the Epstein files that have been released, just to double check I'm not in this release. Yeah. There's interviews

of him where he's fully cross-eyed. Who? Jeffrey Epstein. Yeah, he's lost a lot of aura, would you?

Because I went into a shop and regent street and I genuinely said to the guy, I said, I don't want it to sound weird. I want to dress like Jeffrey Epstein. What? Because I think he dressed brilliantly. Who did you say that to? Personal shopper in Regents Street. Because I think he looks.

I think he dressed really well. Is that a joke? No. I think he dressed really well. You've got a personal shopper to look like Jeffrey. gave me that Epstein he dressed really well point is that on TikTok

I get a lot of clips that are like old money old money style right yeah and I find it very aspirational and when I look at all the photos of Jeffrey Epstein

play the music sound my face above the water like it is a it's a vibe it's undeniably a lot undeniably the man dressed well wave after wave slowly drifting

but the man dressed well you know He had a very kind of casual, rich, preppy style. I think his deposition that came up pretty early, he held a lot of aura because it was like this. He had his glasses like this. And he was being asked by Peter Philly and he was just like, why you waste my time?

That had aura. But then his Steve Bannon one. Yeah, no, he's like, oh, I shats. And he becomes, he becomes like a Woody Allen. I know, yeah. Jewish character. What am I meant to do? Yeah, exactly.

Completely lost his aura. Yeah, there's that second one there, Charlie. That one, he's cross-eyed, he's got shit glasses. Because he looks like Anton. Bordane but then when you see he's like, oh, yeah, well, it is. I like 14 year old, he looks very attractive,

jawline, dress well, in this video that we're watching now, it is like you've gone, you've gone, make Anthony Bourdain a bit pido and someone's just gone wrong, it's just closed his eyes. And you realize he's, you can see that he's a nerd, like he used to be like a, he was like a math teacher, you know, and he's always hanging out with like academics,

you know, he just loves science and stuff. Yeah, yeah, no. So we used to be found at Epstein, but this latest drop, this latest drop, we've lost a lot of respect for Jeffrey Epstein. Yeah, undoubtedly. Undoubtedly, there's less good things about him than there were. There's less to be admired. Yes. Look, he was, I want to look like I could run a sex trafficking ring, but not do it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and he did it. He dressed with class, for sure. He did. And he had vacation homes. There's much. Do Jeffrey Epstein fashion?

There's a couple of really good looks. There's much in Jeffrey Epstein's, um, line. to aspire to. Yeah. Like what? Like that? I love this fit. This is such a casual.

It's sort of like, what is it, JFK Jr. Or, you know? He carries the torch of JFK Jr. It's just that sort of

old money, classic, understated style. Look at that. So I just really like that nice blue wash jeans and the casual show. Tupped in.

You don't need to make it. Dad tuck. Yeah, you don't need to make it complicated. You know, just make sure every piece is high quality. Yeah.

And also, but it's, It should look relaxed on you. It shouldn't be, you shouldn't be trying too hard. Scroll up. I mean, this one's great.

Scroll up, scroll up. Has anyone had a better night? Oh, look at these two. Look at these two. That's some more risky Christmas party. Yeah. I mean, I can imagine that some people,

some girls off screen are having a pretty bad night. No, but let's just, you know. Let's not get bogged down of the details. They're having a brilliant night. You're both wearing those shirts.

How amazing do you feel when you both, when you've both said, we're going to wear the shirt and you've seen each other the first time. they're clean you smell amazing it's clinton it's epstein they're in shiny african shirts and they're just having a great time is is that a crime yes it turns out it is yeah it turns out it is come on epenstein well coring and epstein were both uh hedonists yes there was a link yeah can we call it hedonism yeah i'd say it's hedonism well i guess one person one man's hedonism

is another girl's a stoic pedophile no no no no he was a hedonist of course he was a hedonist Of course he is. Wild, Peter Farr. Wild man. Greedy. No, he's greedy. Yeah, it was. He's incredibly greedy.

You know what? It was a glutton. I read all this stuff and I think, where the fuck did you do all this financing? Because your day seems to be mainly back-to-back massages from 14-year-olds. I mean, it's amazing how well-organized this calendar must be. Efficient. Yeah.

Extraordinary. Anyway, we're talking about Herman Gerring, whose godfather, Herman Epenstein, a sort of early forew... My point was, there was a photo that Charlie got up of Herman Eppenstein, and he looked cross-eyed. He looks a bit like David. Mitchell, much like Epstein did in his deposition.

That was why I'm talking about Jeffrey Epstein. He looks like, I mean, he looks like a pedo more than, more than Jeffrey Epstein does. Is that, are you Epstein's lawyer? I'm not Alan Dershowitz. Although I'd like, I'd like to meet the man. I'd like to meet him. I think if this podcast ever goes down, we could use Dershowitz. I think that's the only lawyer who's going to handle.

Is this the worst person ever lived? Yeah, I'll defend him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway They should have got Dashwitz at Nuraberg That would have been interesting I think he'd just born slightly too late Yeah

Guring was a fair intelligent boy Always loved the military And he graduated from a military academy With a distinction What is it Charlie Gering was forced to walk around the school yard With a sign attached to his neck stating my godfather is a Jew

About this guy About Epinstein Who forced him? Was he bullied at school? I think he was bullied at school that's interesting that's very that's very that's very sad

that's awful this podcast is anti-bullying yeah okay obviously there's a serious topic's been covered you should have done a trigger warning we've made a warning bullying will be mentioned

during this episode yeah yeah if you're listening to this and you're a bully turn it off this isn't for you all right

this is a podcast where we explore the style of Jeffrey Epstein and nothing else about him we have no time for brilliant stamp it out okay you know

be kind that's the motto be kind first be kind to everyone whether they're you know a school a fat school kid or Jeffrey Epstein

yeah you know everyone deserves to be treated the same pedophiles Nazis you know come on yeah don't speak kill of the dead oh sorry

kill themselves I mean, is there any grave of sin to be, you know, the dead? Anyway. So in 1914, we get to the First World War. Herman manages to escape in his serious injury. It should be stressed at this point. He's not fat.

He's a dashing, very, very attractive man. Let's get Young-Gurring. A bit of a fucking sexy piece of ass. Let the dog see the rabbit. Young-Gurring. He's mountain climbing. He's a hell of a jawline on him. Pilot.

Dashing, that first photo. He's got very piercing eyes. Something he never loses is his very piercing eyes. The windows become a bit fatter, but the piercing eyes, the view from there is astonishing. What a great man. Two very fashionable men we've talked about so far. For different ways. A young-gurring.

Fashion does not discriminate. Okay? You can be a man accused of terrible crimes, but look good doing it. Or you can be Gavin Plum. Yeah, the double whammy. That's the other side of the coin. Let's get Gavin Plum's fit, sucks. Yeah, let's do it.

A man who, and you. And clearly, you know, I think if you're dressing well, you're actually going to commit terrible crimes. Yeah. Yeah. I guess, yeah. Because Gavin Plum was wearing a massive Batman t-shirt and then couldn't even be asked to get out the sofa and genuinely attack anyone.

Whereas Herman Goering, he woke up early, he got dressed and he thought, do you know what, I am enough? Yeah. I am enough. And I'll go to work today. And yeah, I haven't got a portfolio, but I'll fucking make one. Porkfolio, more like. He's got a large...

Minister with pork. Pork polio. Anyway. He's hobbling in. Hobbling in. Who's that? Oh, Erbans here. Yeah, the minister for pork polio.

Anyway, so he goes to the trenches and he gets rubatism, which he then hospitalized. And it's while he's hospitalized that his friend convinced him to become his observer for flying recon missions, which now, as we've discussed in our flight history series, World War I is where planes really get going. And so he starts to... Over the course of the war, I imagine. Yeah, so he trains, he gets pilot training. He's appointed to the Jagged Staff Alfonf, which means the hunting squadron. And he's seriously wounded in the hip

during an aerial dog fight. It takes a year to recover. But by February 17, Gering is back in the air. He's back in the air, he's in the air, flying. The fat man is flying. But he's not fat by this point. Crucially. He genuinely would not have fit in a World War I plane five years later.

Yeah, it would have crashed. Yeah. And he demonstrates an amazing scheme. He's one of the hottest air races that the Germans have in World One. Yeah, look at that. He gets the Iron Cross. He received the Zechinglion,

the Friedrich order, the House of Order of Honsalem. And he receives the much-coveted polar merit. Now, towards the tail end of the war, he becomes the last commander of the Red Baron's Flying Circus, or as it's known in German, the Yag of the Schaggelands.

Which are the colourful planes that they caused a lot of damage to the Allies. So they were the best Air Force in World War I? I think so. The best fighter pilots, probably. They've been commanded by Baron von Richthofen, the Red Baron. Which we covered in the flight series, but he had 80 air combat victories.

And he was... So it's called the Flying Circus because they'd carry the multicolored planes on trains and set up in a field like a travelling circus. Goering is... did ladies flying the planes and stuff. No. No, it wasn't that sort, it wasn't like a zipose thing. Midgets and gypsies, sorry.

I think famously. Favisely not. Fesely not. They weren't included. No. Yeah, it's a good point, actually. Would Zipo Circus, how much of them would have, would the Nazis have tolerated? Yeah.

Maybe the sword swallower maybe is one of the only people to make it out alive. Yeah. Lion Tamer, maybe. Goering finishes the war with 22 claimed kills, only 17 of which were confirmed. And now the end of the end of, World War I from the German perspective is quite surprising because World War I is not like World War 2, you know, the war comes to you wherever you are.

World War I, it's happening in a distant field. It's like Amazon Prime. Yeah, World War II. Yeah, just you name it, it will be there. I'd like, yeah, I'd like that house bombed tomorrow. Oh, wow, brilliant, great. World War I is... You're meeting at like a sort of neutral venue.

You're meeting like Wembley. Well, it's like if you're a citizen, if you're not in the army, it's sort of like Glastonbury. It's in a distant. field and people come back and they've covered in mud they're covered in mud and they've got smelly feet and they're talking about their experience you know shut up I don't care how life changing their experience was shut up just not whining get back to work anyway but World War I kind of sort of ends suddenly because the Germans basically just run out of machinery and stuff and

they're knackered they're not necessarily defeated the way they are in World War II yes so many veterans, including Hitler, start subscribing to this stab in the back myth. Can you just find out what it is in German? Because it's quite a funny German word. Storbing the bork. Stab in the back. There's a German word

for everything. It sounds like every German word sounds like they're saying stab in the back. I can't imagine more. It's the Dolostoschen sender, which is a conspiracy theory that the German army wasn't defeated militarily, but portrayed by commies and Jews on the home front. The enemy within.

The enemy within. Goering sees himself as part of a right-wing institution linked to groups like the Stahlhelm faction the steel helmet faction that's one of the sex clubs that Charlie goes to

quite early on he's knocking about early 20s Germany crazy crazy time the 20s in Germany are crazy and he's hating this yeah in the 20s it's like

everyone's like non-binary blue hair smoking cigarettes is jazz yeah and he's yeah he's a fucking is he point yourself together Shine your badges sort of vibe. Yeah, he's me nowadays.

Yeah. He works for a Swedish airline in 1920, 2021. He's, now he's hired to fly a man called Eric von Rosen back to his castle. And where he gets there, this is supposedly when he sees a swastika for the first time. So in the film, is this like, oh. Yeah, it lights up the... What is this? Swastik.

Ha? Svast. And this is where he meets his first wife, Karen Rancel. Anyway, leave Sweden Then we get to the Seminole meeting You know, this is first 20 minutes of the film Oppenheimer meets Einstein Oppenheimer and Einstein

It's ant meets deck So I didn't mean to add a bit of Jewish stank on Einstein I feel Einstein Einstein Because as soon as you say Stein It feels like Stein

It's something a bit like Makes you feel about uncomfortable Someone leans into the Stein It's weird that a German If a pint is Stein Yeah Can I have a pint and Stein Something's going on there

Someone's going on there. Oh, look at that. Charlie's got a photo up with the boys. Look at that. And now, this is a bit later. Hitless looking quite dashing, actually. Why are you saying that surprise? No, you don't normally see him kind of on a holiday sort of suit on.

No, a leisure suit. Even when he's up in the Eagles nest or the band, where does he holiday? Borses Garden. Yeah, he's still full uniform. But you don't see him dressed like the man from Havana. Look at his pleated pants. And then, this is quite a good photo that we're looking at now.

This is obviously a bit later because Herman's very, very, very fat at this point. He's dressed in... He's leaning on his own fatness. He's dressed in plus two. He's got a hunting dagger and he's got a sort of big waistcoat and he's jolly.

And Hitler's obviously the romantic lead. Yes. He's the action hero. Yeah, he's Humphrey Bogart and Clasper Blanca. Yeah. Gherring's like James Gordon just sort of hanging out of the back. He's John Candy.

You know, if it's bright... If an artist is a bridesmaids, he's Melinda McArthur. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Melissa McCarthy. Yeah, Hitler's cursed and wig. Yeah, Hitler's Kirstenwig. Hitler's the dashing romantic lead and then hogg-h-h-g-g-g-gall got behind.

So Gurring meets Hitler at a Nazi party rally in 22. And obviously, Hitler's a kind of, this wild card, you know. He's this... He doesn't have a lot of... Failed painter with a tiny dick, allegedly. But Gurring is an actual war hero. He's a flying ace. And so when he joins the Nazi party, he gives the Nazis a lot of legitimate.

You know, suddenly they're not just these mad fuckers. These incels, yeah. You've got an alpha-chad. You've got an alpha-chad, right? So Gurin gets appointed to lead the SA, which is Hitler's paramilitary organisation. And then we get to the Beer Hall Putsch, 1923, where Hitler, inspired by Mussolini's march on Rome, tries to overthrow the Vimar government. We talked about this on our rise to the Nazi series, which you can find on the Patreon, along with a lot of Nazi content. Yes, and memorabilia.

Memorabilia. I have just bought a, well, it's a World War II. Do you want to show... Shout out to the patrons. One of the patrons is a watch dealer and he found this and he said, do you want it? And I said,

yes, and I bought it off. So that's, explain what that watch is. It's a German World War II Navy watch. Okay. It's standard issue. Right. There's no insignia or symbols on it.

So you can relax. Okay, but we don't know who, there we have no idea who wore that watch during the war. I've got a fair idea who wore it. It's a historical artefact. If you would, the patron is,

is a marketplace for ideas and Nazi memorabilia. So if you've got anything you'd like to exchange, swap, all good prices on there. It's a sort of crackling black market for Nazi memorabilia. You know, it's more than just bonus podcasts.

It's a community. It's a community of individuals. It's a community of traders. You know, they've got Pokemon cards, they've got Nazi watches, whatever. Whatever you want. Well, quite specific.

You have to want something very specific. Anyway, I'm going to a wedding on Saturday and the groom is South African, white South African, so I figure it will give you something to talk about with his relatives. What do you mean by that?

Is that you basically saying if they say something super racist, you can... I check this art. You could be like all about this. Yeah. Is it giving you a Trump card? My Trump card.

My ace in the hole, yeah. Well, they try and big dick you with how racist they are. I'm like, fucking sit down. I got a Nazi to watch. I'm all right. What's the time? Yeah, Nazi time.

Anyway, so Hitler and Guring and his allies They have this plan to seize power in Bavaria And march on Berlin So they burst into a beer hall in Munich And they fire a pistol into the ceiling Declare Revolution No one really Everyone's like, yeah, all right, mate

We're just having some beers And they march 9th November They march through Munich And they reach the Feld and Hala Which I've been to is the amazing town square I think of it. Anyway And it was on an organised tour

yeah you were you leaving the tour no you make it sound like I've gone on some kind of hodge to Munich no you make it sound

like you've been on some of hodge to Munich seeing as every night this place you're like yes I've been there it's a lovely

spot for lunch just outside there there is there is a nice spot for lunch can we go can we do Muslims crying

when seeing hage for the first time can we get a video that please this is me this is you at the birds The eagle's nest, right?

Yeah, it is. This is you trying to see in the spot of Hitler's bunker. That's you. This has been going to the spot where Hitler's bunker was. Yep. I'm holding my Nazi prayer beads. I'm in my clobber. I've taken time of work.

You've got to do it once in your life, really. You've got to. The Five pillars of being a history fan. It's a very emotional moment, I guess. Yeah, it is. Anyway, they reach Felgenhaler, the police open fire, 14 Nazis are killed, Hitler is knocked over,

desiccates his shoulder, the putch collapses, Hitler's imprisoned. Guring gets shot in the groin. Devastating. My God, the matter this man's been through. A direct hit to the fooper.

Right. He then smock, he escapes and goes to Austria. And so this is where, recovering from his fupor bullet wound which is not a slang for vagina

he develops a lifelong addiction to morphine which will only end when the Nuremberg trial makes him go clean which is why he's so slim in the trial footage oh right

because he's kicked the morphine habit okay so it's like rehab yeah exactly rehab or you get killed at the end that's why yeah yeah it's not really rehab

it's not trial for war crimes it's anyway so he leaves hospital Christmas Eve 23, moves to Italy, meets Mussolini. You know, there's just some ideas, perhaps around. There's real characters. Chewing the fats.

Anyway. The great minds of the age. In terms of the Ristak fire, when the Nazis come to power, the Gering, I think, obviously there's a Dutch communist called Marius van der Luber. We've talked about Luby, Luby. We've talked Louby Lubison, but he gets blamed for the fire, but there's a point in Nuremberg where Goering says, well, yeah, I started the fire. So there's kind of a never, no one ever really knows how involved.

It's quite clear the Nazis did it, so it could have been goring. Yeah. I think it was Herman Epenstein. Yeah. I think it's fine. Everybody. Yeah. It all rose to leave back to Epenstein.

Yeah. Gering is then appointed minister for pork polio in Hitler's first cabinet. Nazi. He's the high living Ruffet. You know, he liked to call himself to Eisen, the Iron Man, but he steadily gains weight, gluttony, fueled by a morphine addiction, which is not you know, morphine's not

a... Yeah, heroin addicts are normally pretty rock-star bars. Yeah, so what's going on with getting fat on morphine? Because I've always thought at some point morphine's my owl. Right. If you ever get too big. If I'm getting too guring, I'm going to get addicted to something else. Get a smack and I'm out. So why slows metabolism

increases cravings for high fat and sugary foods. Maybe I'm already on morphine, though. Yeah, maybe. And reduce... Maybe in microdosing morphine your whole life. Anyway, he does start to look like a capital D. But he also...

He didn't mind jokes about himself. Which, it's not very naughty, is it? No, he's got a sense of humour about himself. That's why it's easier to kind of get in with this guy. And just, you know, just to give our thick listeners a sort of vivid portrait of the... Imagine you're all the boys are all there, you know, you're all in your uniforms, the Goring comes up and he just pat on his belly. And he's loving it.

Oh, hello! Oh, you'd be careful, sir! Oh, bad day to be a beer. Or a chill. Yes, there's always a... The joke does always stop at some point. He's a flamboyant hedonist. He drinks, eats, and now he collects art,

which we'll get into on the Patreon. So he's got taste in class as well as being a fat pig. Yes. There's no need to call Herman Goring a fat pig. Sorry. He was bullied as a child. I don't know why I'm bringing this stuff up for him. Stop bullying.

This podcast is anti-bullying. Nazis. Nazis and convicted pedophile financiers. If you're going to hang them out to dry, at least give them a compliment sandwich. You know, you dressed very well. You're a disgusting paedophile. Yeah. But I do, you know, your vacation homes look lovely.

Yeah. You had a great property portfolio. Yeah. Do you know what? Is it that hard? Is it that hard? Is it that hard? For the sake of a man's men's men's men's?

health to give him a compliment. Now, the Fat Pigs wife, Karen dies young and he names his estate Karen Hall in her memory. Karen Hall will be the place where Band of Brothers, easy company finds, which has got all his wine cellars and he's just kind of mystical sort of lake. It's just mad

sort of mansion. So all the stolen art goes there? Yeah, it's very high at all. Now in 1935... And the wine collection is that all the huge wine collection. That's what we talked about with the JLB episode, right? Yeah. Now in 1935 going remarried, an actress called Emmy Zoneman in a spectacular you know, state style ceremony in Berlin.

Who's his best man? Hitler's best man. The best man's speech. Blood! And all the guests are there like, who was your best man? My mate Leo from university. Yeah.

I mean, yeah, I'm sure it was great, but... It was great. It was great. You know. But it wasn't. It could have been amazing. I could have got like a hologram, like a two-pack hologram,

but it's hit. Hitler doing the speech. Hitler's your best man. Hitler's your best man. You know? The best man's speech is always... Is he telling stories about what you were like back in the day?

Like, how funny is Hitler's best man speech? I think it's, I think it's hard to think of him. Is he cracking jokes? But then he's relaxed. It's not... This is amongst friends. Yeah, is he still...

Is he still going on? Is he still hitting the notes? Is he still doing hankery-crankony? Yeah, does Hitler have the comedy in him? Can you type of him was Hitler considered funny by anyone? Based on historical analysis, as Hitler was not known for having a humorous personality, but rather for being intense, paranoid and prone to explosive for ages.

All right, AI overview. Maybe he makes that way. He's really annoyed because the wife is so gorgeous. He's like fuming. Do you know what I love is that when, so I've done a, you always have to say, if you're at a wedding, someone always has to say, I don't the bridesmaids look lovely today.

And the idea that... A tons of parts, folks, don't clever a little time! Someone always has to say it And it's normally the best man Because if the groom says it It's a bit I had to say it at my wedding Because my best man forgot

Right But then it is I had to lean into how sort of purvy it sounds Because Why, yeah I mean how do you war Because you're there talking about How much you love your wife

And how they look at the bridesmaids My God, They've dressed up nice Yeah Anyway And also one of my wife Bridesmaids I had

When my wife and I were friends And not together She'd like pushed her one of her friends in front of me as kind of a human shield. So I'd go on a date with her. Right. So you've got to be careful.

You've got to be quick. And don't the bride's... Look, lovely. You can't be like, don't the brights are that... Yeah, you have to... Lovely. Woo!

Look at the brights place. Yeah. Fucking hell. What are we talking about? Where are we? Where are I? You can't be like Cat Williams. Yeah.

Brat she. Brad's mate's been looking. Looking fine. Look at these fine, motherfucking bridesmaids. Shit. Yeah, you can't. You can't. You can't do anything.

Jesus. Anyway. Lord and law. You should be going, Lord. Give me strength. The bridesmaids. And then you just sit down and go anyway, here's to the wife.

Anyway, right. So, but Hitler is, yes, you have to say the bridesmaids look lovely. Yeah. So imagine Hitler said that. Yeah. You normally have to thank people for coming. You know, guests who've come a long way. Do we know any other big guests?

Well, I imagine it was all the Nazi. It was all the boys. Yeah, it was the boys. And then obviously Hitler had to organise the stag do. Yeah, I mean, I mean, God. What are they doing? Painballing. Yeah, do you want Hitler organizing it?

He's not the organizing guy. Who do you want being the guy who does the stagie? Axe throwing at Jews. I mean, what's the Nazi stag do? So when picking your best man, how much are you thinking about the organization of the stag do? Because I feel a lot of the organization, the time you there's the clear best man but it's not always the perfect man to organize the stag do

right but then that's just something you have to accept you have to play it as it lies charlie's got ikeman up i mean in many ways ikeman is ghering's polar opposite you know ikeman is a boring drab functionary who yeah you're right it's logistics he makes it work gurring is all vibes and gherring's driving to calais to get the wine for the wedding yeah he's doing a jolly but is ikemen going to organise a staguerre with enough wow factor? No, but... But you want an element of... Goering's booking the strippers.

Right. Eichmann's book in the pub. Eichmann's letting them know there's going to be strippers, so just calm down. Eichmann's putting the deposit down in his name. Sure. Goeings made it go in Eichmann's name. So if any of it fucks up, it's his name and does it? Yeah.

They're the boys. Yeah. So he's known for overeating and drinking heavily. Meals at Karen Horwood last for hours. He prefers traditional German... aristocratic cuisine, Charlie, can we just Google what that is? I'm surprised you haven't. And a pronounced sweet tooth.

You ask what everyone eats. Yeah. Several accounts mentioned him snacking on chocolates between meals. I mean, this is... Can you something good at what does go and eat, right? Because it's like, it's the most stereotypically fat German is to have a meal and then to just chocolate, like just like... My personal love of chocolate, genuinely, I don't want it too complicated.

I like lint milk chocolate. I like it to feel like a Nazi is teasing me that what chocolate would they get out if they're like... And so if you want to tell me the information, would you like a piece of chocolate? You know, what would he pull out? It would be like a plain bar of milk chocolate, wouldn't it? Yeah, thick.

You know what I mean? Like that. That is the German chocolate is kind of what I like the most. So his favorite dish, supposedly, was a Vietnamese schnitzel. Okay. His favorite restaurant, Hoher. Is that still... let's book it now

Christmas party they later move to Madrid interesting but chocolate's in between meals he alternates between he obviously balloons up and down is Hawkins they're still there yeah still there

4.6 out of five top jaw let's see let's go on images that's what I'm going if top draw if I ever do a top draw interview I'm like yeah you've got to check this place out I'm just looks lovely

yeah you can see this sort of of fair yeah it's yeah it's table side silver service white table cloths. You know, I always, even if I'm not drinking, I have to have chocolate after a meal. You got to.

Not after a meal, that's mad. At the end of the day. Not after every meal. Breakfast chocolate. Yeah, see, like the one cabar with Augustus Clute, that's why I... That's good, yeah. So he's obviously massively into art,

which we'll get into on the Patreon. Now, his clothing is phenomenal because he promotes himself to Rice Marshall in 1940, a rank created specifically for him. And what he likes about this is he gets to design his own uniforms. So all the fucking medals, sashes, Germans or head of the army had like a bat on,

which is quite a gay thing to, I've got a little stick. Which means I'm the head of the, whatever. But he would, he'd walk around waving his little stick and he'd customize it himself with like jewels. What, like, like when you put widgets and crocs, you know, there's like. Yeah, it is like that. It is.

he would have ornamental cloaks capes he's a big fan of fancy dressed silk dressing gowns velvet embroidered you know

you see the photo of Epstein and Harvey Weinstein and Galane it's a three It's a past fucking it's a good time It's a good time

You know who's that Is that criminal now those No one's being judgmental there are they No look at this Yeah come on You can say

Some pretty loose things With this lot I'm having a great time With this lot I'm having a great time Weinstein's in a Tux, Epstein's got the Gaddafi sailor suit on, Galane's got a big old

Venetian mask. Venetian mask. You know, they're having a laugh. Yeah. I mean, I think small talk would be fun with them. Yeah. You're skipping small talk. You know, Space is there. Can a man not have mates? Anyway.

So there's photos of even like a medieval hunting costume. Italian foreign minister once noted Goering was wearing a fur coat that looked like what a high-grade prostitute would wear. That's funny. He changed costume several times throughout the evenings. That's okay. So he's like a chick basically.

But Gurring is a kind of if, you know, as a Nazi archetype, I think is the sort of the intelligent, highly intelligent, pleasure loving, cunning, evil genius. Yeah. That's Gurring. You know, the other ones, Hitler is obviously cranky, frankenish, shankany. Yeah. And then Himmler is like a sort of snobsty little swat. also he's probably neurotypical wasn't he

and the rest they all seem to have something cooking yes there's a lot of ADHD there's a lot of autism he seems to be one of the only people who's cooking clean in that sense not in actual sense he's cooking with a lot of butter I imagine so now for the crucial thing

in Charlie what have you just googled Down syndrome Nazis did you find anything no right we'll keep looking we'll keep looking don't worry breaking news we found a Down syndrome Nazi anyway

now... It doesn't really work though no it doesn't because they're nice also Nazis famously exterminated Down syndrome it's more the other way around

yeah yeah but not Down syndrome the question would be too nice to be did anyone manage to did any Down syndrome person in Nazi Germany

trying to avoid being killed managed to sneak in and blend in that's the real question did one of them slip through the cracks He looks like he could be Down syndrome a Down syndrome Nazis at the end of the line

line like this. Just eating ice cream. Yeah. We can't know. We can't know. But we can hazard a guess. So we need to, for the sake of the rest of this series,

we need to get to the Luft Fafel. Because this is the crucial, the crucial thing Goering does is that he is put in charge of the initially secret rearmament program. So in the Treaty of Versailles, no planes are allowed. Which is why they start producing. producing rockets,

which we dealt within our space race series. The V1 and V2 ended up coming out of. So in 1935, the Luftwaffe has been started secretly, but it's now publicly acknowledged

with Gering as the Reich Aviation Minister. Yeah. I think as everyone's getting ready for war, the next war is going to be fought in the air big time. World War I've been Zeppelin raids and, you know,

dropping bombs from Zeppelin. Quite a lot of bombs on London in World War I that I didn't realize. Yeah. Yeah. Now the whole, point of the Lefaffe is that it's speed

and it's meant to secure air superiority that allows the Blitzkrieg to happen. So it will attack enemy forces, infrastructure industry. The Leufthafar also the bombers are part of the Lefafafra as well, right? Yeah, yeah, Leufth just means the Air Force. At the start of the war, Germany has

just over 4,000 aircraft. They've got the bombers, they've got the fighters, the Messerschmitts, they've got the dive bombers, the Stuckers. We'll get into all this with Al Murray, who I will warn you now knows... But the Stuckers in World War I? No, I don't think so. He knows

a lot about machinery. Yeah. Women, hold onto your pants. Yeah. In the next episode... It might be too much for us, even. They're flying off. It might be like, maybe I'm gay than I thought I was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. We might turn out that we're... We might come out as non-binary.

Al Murray was going to outstrait us, and I'm worried that I might be a bit by, actually. Because even for me, the amount of just he knows about World War II machinery is too much. So I don't want to... I'm just putting a trigger warning

out there now alongside the bullying contained in this discussions of bullying. Have some sort of moisting agent to make sure that you don't have a permanently dry vagina for life.

Terminal dry vagge. You're going to have to be constantly moisturising down there because I think you can actually damage it. Yeah, it could fully close up with the amount of machinery that's going to be discussed

in the next part. Against my will, I will say. I will do my best to try and get Al onto the narrative and the characters. You put loads of salt

on an oyster and it all... Yeah. It's like killing a slug. Yeah. Anyway. So, the Luftwaffe is Gering's baby. And Gering and Hitler,

you know, Antendek, fish and chips, strawberries and cream. Yeah. They're the boys. They're best mates. Yeah.

Right. Defone Crouch. And Defone Crouch. Big man, little man. Um. So the invasion of Poland begins on the 1st September 39, as we know. That day, Hitler names Gering his official successor.

So he is number two. He's number two. Yeah, and I guess that's how important the Air Force is that the head of the Air Force is number two in the whole system. Well, I think the Air Force is the most Nazi part of the army. Because they're like eagles. It's like, you know, it just feels very like. They're coming from the skies. But because they're Goering's guys.

Yeah. Right. So I think, this is another thing I said to my wife to justify the watch. In terms of the sort of passionate Nazis, Air Force was the most, then the army, then the actual Navy. Who weren't that bothered? Navy's a bit gay. Yes, exactly. You know what I mean?

It's a gay watch, eventually. Yes. So you're like an ally. This is LGBT, isn't it? Me, gay pride. Yeah. I like you lot. I love the culture.

I got a creed for a Nazi watch. It's a Nazi watch, but it's from the Navy. You know? You know what they say? In the Navy. Exactly. So, the Luftwaffe is one of the world's most advanced air forces by 39.

The Stukka dive bomber, which is terrifying, the sound of it. It's where the Thai fighter from Star Wars noise comes from. Terrifying. This would basically just go into a full dive and bomb at a very low altitude. And the Luftafar operations

are decisive in Poland and Norway and Belgium in particular. There's these two missions in particular that... Oh, scary. Do you know what? The way back from my gig last night. Yeah, yeah. That is scary. I mean, women are drying up. My ass is tingling at that.

Loosing. That's like me when I see a curry menu. That's the noise my stomach's making. There are these two operations at the start of the war that are very, very terrifying for the Allies, not the gay allies. We should say in World War II there are... Call yourself an ally.

Yeah. Where's your flag? Can I be part of the Axis? Can we make that thing? What is the opposite of the Allies? The opposite of the Allies. You're already often. Yeah.

Like it's in my bio. Right. Axis. Yeah. Anyway, so there are these two particular victories. Now, there's the one in Norway where the German paratroopers or in German Faltschmy deyga, they basically just fall out the sky and seize these airfields, which means that that's the reason why they're able to take Norway despite the massive British Navy.

Because we did this in the Dunkirk series. Priority. Yeah, they just drop troops behind all the mountainous terrain and take the airfields. Then they control Norway, which kind of cuts out the middleman with the Navy. There's also this impregnable fort in Belgium, which I guess is,

it sounds like a tortology, but Fort Eben Emeil. Sounds like a big chocolate cake. Massive stack of proffiteroles or something. Anyway, this one, they, again, the paratroopers fall from the sky at night, and then they all have, special bombs, depth charges or whatever,

and they blow all the guns out at the fort, and then when the infantry arrive, it's kind of unprotected and they can take it. But this is the first time that they're showing that you don't have to just do a siege. Yes. Even in World War I, like the siege of Verdun, it was all very traditional,

4-4-2, you know, two banks of four. So this is 4-33, this is more fluid. False line. This is total football. It's total warfare. it's flying the right back in and suddenly the right back's through in front of goal

that's the right back. In Poland I don't know which maybe it was Warsaw that they like leveled with bombs from the air and that's basically the first time that it really happened like that that was a complete annihilation of a city and no one had ever seen anything quite like in any war

that level of destruction. So the Luftafa is you know Gurring's loving it he's a culture man he's loving it. The Luftafa is his thing and I think he sees the Luftafa as the main reason for all the early success. Because there's, you know...

There's infight in between the three, the Nazis, the Navy, the Air Force and the army, right? Yeah, they're never... They're all vying for Hitler's affection and attention. And Goreys like, well, you were... I made you my best man. Yeah, so... So for the spring 1940 campaigns,

you know, the fall of France is the kind of peak of Leufa's prestige. In six weeks, Germany shatters... Chatters Europe's strongest land army. We dealt with this in Dunkirk. The French were mainly underground eating cheese and drinking wine. But the Luftwaffe made that

Blitzkrieg possible because it destroys all the bridges and rail hubs. It disrupts communications. It basically strafes positions so that then this quick mechanised vehicles come through. And so this is where Guring starts to get very high in his own supply.

He's also on... He's also on... He's high. On a supply of... And his and cream and pork. But their role in collapsing France feeds us belief that air power alone can break any opponent. What is it, Charlie? If you're on morphine while doing a war, because you know, it makes you feel like very euphoric. Warfine. Yeah, warfine.

What is that, would it not make you kind of think, I should fuck off the war should stop? No, it's not, it's not any X-Sufie on me. I fucking love you. It's not nice than MDMA. I hate you. I'm going to kill you, man. Yeah, no. You're not bayonetting someone.

If the Nazis are all on MDMA, then I would imagine they would just start the war. They just played football. Well, yeah, but that's what that guy, that historian who wrote Blitz says. Norman Meyer is his name? Mela? Yeah, he basically says that if they would all be on a different drug,

he says that you should really frame World War II, the start of it, as Speed versus Red Wine. Yeah. And Speed, like Rock paper says the speed will always be red wine. Right. But I guess to take that to a logical extension, yeah, if the Auschwitz Scarlet had been on MDMA, then the camp

would have been like somewhere you go on a Saturday. So, by June 1940, it's the, you know, it's the montage. Hitler's in Paris. Yeah. Memories. We'll always have Paris. It doesn't get better than this. The boys are looking around Paris. Hella hates

Paris. You know, one of many things I see I die with him on. Yeah. He's not about... They loves Paris. This is a Paris you could get behind. Hey, Paris for me lost its charm

when it was liberated in 1944. No, not Enwards in Paris. Well, I guess it is Enwomenz. It is. So this is Goering and Hitler. Jayze and Kanye West.

Nazi and Nazis and Nazis and Paris. It's going to fire me. Yes, it is. It's the original M-Words in Paris. Guring and Hitler. That shit, great. So it's July 1940.

Now, Britain stands alone. Now, we talked about Operation C-Lyion, which is the possible invasion of Britain. But in order for this to actually happen, the Royal Air Force would have to be destroyed. And so the Luftwaffe sees itself, and Goering sees himself now as the main character in the war.

He's like, he tells Hitler, He goes, I'm going to sort this out for you. My boy, you're my best man. Yeah. I got your back. My main character, even more than Hitler, you think? He's militarily, he's like, it's the Luftafa that's doing all this. Yeah.

We're the reason the army and the Navy can do what they're going to do. If you want to invade Britain, I'm going to do it for you. So he sort of thinks Operation C-line might not happen. But remember, at this point, the Nazis are basically like, if we can knock Britain out, then they'll come to terms. And they've been on the form of their life. is win, win, win. Yeah, they're on a hot street.

So, Goering convinces Hitler that he could destroy the RAF by the middle of September. He says, I'll do it in a week, mate. Yeah. Right. And he says that no bomber can reach Germany.

And he says, if an enemy bomber reaches the Ruhr, then my name is not Gurring. You may call me Maya. Is that just another person's name? That's another German name. Right. Yeah.

Jewish last name. Right. So they were, funny. Yeah. That's funny stuff. That's kind of, that has anti-Semitic connotations.

Well, now it does. Yeah. But at the time, you know, you've got to remember that comedy is a product of its time. And in 1939, I don't know,

I just think that implies something that I don't like. I think it out of context. Okay, fine, fair enough. I think it out of context. You know, it's comedy. Yeah. You know, stop reading into it.

Sorry. Words aren't bullets. Yes. They can sometimes be followed by bullets very quickly. He says no enemy bomber can reach the rule And if it reaches the rule I'm not goring, I'm Maya, I'm a Jew And everyone goes, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

I mean his mum was shagging a Jew As well You know, his godfather was Jeffrey Epenstein Or whatever he was, that was his way of saying I'm Jewish I'm yeah What is to pull back and reveal So now that's funny

Now that's comedy That's comedy That is funny In our next episode We will be joined by ladies start the lubrication now joined by Al Murray the governor the landlord

an actual historian he of Goldhanger stable the Ewoks are finally attacking the death star that episode and the next episode about the Blitz are already on the Patreon where for three pounds a month you too can offer to sell me Nazi memorabilia I will only accept it from patrons

that's my pitch for this week if you've got Nazi If you want to sell to Finn you must join the patron first. It's part of your training license. I don't care. It is a trading license.

I don't care if you've got a massive Nazi eagle on your attic. Join the Patreon to open up communications with me. There's way these things are done. Yes. You need a license to sell out.

You just follow proper, you know. There's protocol. Protocol. That's all on the Patreon and we'll stick around. We'll do a bonus episode with him. It's a big week for dads. Ladies, I apologize

for what's about to happen. It's going to get We'll see you on Thursday, if not, for the Battle of Britain with Almarie. Goodbye. Goodbye.