Fin vs History - Every Mushroom Cloud… | Chernobyl (Part 1/3)

Episode Date: April 20, 2026

Lads, just boil a kettle!     Chernobyl (Part 1/3)    The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened.   For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon  ⁠patreon.com/fintaylor  This episode of Fin vs History is brought to you by Surfshark.     Secure your privacy with Surfshark! Enter coupon code FVH for an extra 4 months at https://surfshark.com/fvh    Chapters: 00:00 - Happy Birthday Chernobbers!   08:52 - The Blair Years  13:21 - Boil The Kettle Lads  18:02 - Half Life!   22:13 - RWMK   25:52 - Fuck It!   31:20 - BORON!  34:51 - Margin for Error   37:35 - Just The Tip   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, Comrade Fred again. Yes, mate. I know it is your first night on shift. We are doing standard nuclear reactor test. Gonna be sick, mate. We're going to shut down the reactor four. You will control the test with your remote control. Don't you love it how anything can be music?

Do you know what I mean? It's not relevant. If you could start the test by pressing a V1. Me. That sounds good. Just one. No, no, no, that's like the backing track. That's the fucking rhythm center right there.

Release water pumps, V3. V3 made that. Fuck it. Just wait for you. Oh, my man. Oh, I love it. V-9, brother.

Let's go. Come, forward. Come, right. Please. No, no, the core will collapse. The temperatures like him to put in the pole. Oh, my God.

Evacuate the... This is good. This is good. It's right, brother. I think the... Go off. I feel quite sick. I feel that long with a room, brother.

It's pretty sick. It is sick, right? It is it, right. It's it. Thank you, mate. I appreciate her. Mine too, brother. Mine too.

Finn versus history. I'm with Horatio Gould. Niet, and this is one of our most requested topics. It's a bang. We are getting finally to Chernobyl. It's time to chero on our novels. It is time to cheroon our nobles, listeners.

It's the communist Titanic. It's the world's worst nuclear disaster. And for the first time, we are somewhat relevant. You're very excited about this. This week is the 40th anniversary of Chernobyl. Well, it says 40th birthday

and I'm glad you said the anniversary because I think the birthday is weird because you start imbuing, I start thinking of him as a man. Happy birthday to you. But it's also like Chernobyl being like, I'm 40. Fuck.

What have I done with my life? I'm so lonely. I've not had any mates for 40 years. On the world's worst nukees. a disaster. Nah. No, you're not.

You're not. Statistically. Oh yeah, forget about the statistics. Yeah. You're a good guy. So is this a guy who was born as the fire starts? No, this is, it's just, it anthropomorphises the disaster. It makes it a man who's kind of scared about aging on his 40th.

Yes, I see. Right. The 40th is not a happy birthday, I don't think. The 50th, I think, is a nice celebration. Well, there's someone who's closer to it than anyone in this room. I'd say it's... You're basically dead. No?

If I'm basically dead because of other reasons, such as a fatal digestive collapse, I'm not dying because of pure age. Right. But you have to separate age from my digestive system. You're pretty close to the world's worst nucleus. You're the second world's worst nucleus. Some of my farts are in the top ten. Finland has to kill a lot of sheep when you fart.

All dogs must be put down immediately. No, they must be destroyed when I fart. No, I mean in the way that Brian Johnson's erections are an 18 year old erections in his own words Yeah

He doesn't make Don't win to the advice He said something weird He says that Right He's not over 18 year olds He's like I've got an 18 year old Sorry I mean I only get an erection over

18 year olds No he's saying my erections are the same strength As an 18 year old And then he uses that an excuse To fuck 18 year olds maybe Maybe I mean if

I mean you should You should Yeah Why else are you doing it? You're wasting. Yeah. Anyway, in the same way that he hasn't, he's a 50-year-old man with an 18-year-old's boner. I'm a 35-year-old man with a 90-year-old man's stomach.

In that I'm nearing, I'm circling with a post-old. Well, it's a sovietly designed reactor core. There's no accountability. It's built to failure is inevitable. It is. And there's no, you know, there's a meddling bureaucracy above it. No one wants to take. You'll never take a responsibility.

No, everyone's passing them up. It's always someone else's fault. Well, it's biscuit day. There's biscuits in the house. I can't have biscuits in the house. Yeah, this is not my, I'm not the head of biscuits. You know, you have to go to that department.

Conrad wife. Why are these biscuits in the house? But also deny the fart. Yeah. So there is no fart. No, don't evacuate. It's fine. Carry on as normal.

It's the 40th birthday of Chernobyl. Happy birthday. Happy birthday to Chernobyl. To celebrate. To celebrate. We'll get a cake in episode three. Part three will get the cake out. And the very, very, very same.

stripper who's really ill bless her um yeah it is don't let a cough on you imagine imagine imagine there waiting in a cake at Chernobyl like it was someone's birthday in Pripyat right in April 86 and they're wheeling in a stripper in a cake and then they were oh fuck we've got to leave and she's still there being like oh right yeah she's very committed to the job yeah yeah but she must look absolutely clapped now yeah this is the worst nuclear disaster the worst man-made disaster in history. It's also the most expensive disaster in history, estimated

to have cost 700 billion US dollars. I think this is one of the most interesting things ever, personally. I agree. I think it's so weird and strange, but also like one of the few examples where the world was potentially at risk. Avengers films, it's always like,

and I will destroy the world. And then, you know, a hero stops it. But this is like a real life. nearly fucked it for everyone the stakes are so high in this it's kind of insane it's funny how it's framed as a disaster

when you could frame it as like well they fucking saved the world in a way I mean they nearly ruined it but they saved it but that's why Russian history is so like it's these sort of

they build such amazing narratives by nearly always fucking it somehow yes but also but their commitment to sacrifice to so you should be said this is in the Soviet Union which and we're in Ukraine you know I've been to Chernobyl hey you've been to Chernobyl?

I went to Chernobyl. I went in 2017. Is that why your eyes are so far, I'm up? No. It's genetics. Did your mother go there? When you're in the womb, is that why? Yeah, I'm a Chernobyl baby.

Oh, that makes sense, right. I went to Plippiat in the snow. Oh, you've got to see it in the snow. It's lovely in the snow. Plipiat in the snow. Don't eat green snow. And we got taken around by, there's this guide, and you have a guy encounter that starts, like,

building up as you go. And it's like that you go into some of the class, And it's the dates been half written on the board because they've had to evacuate as they're writing the mid class and the town was only built in 1970 Mm-hmm so it's like it's weird it's a new the for the soviet's most modern town is Milton Keynes It's milton key but I was evacuated in 1986 so it's such a weird life of a town being new and Completely ruined abandoned yeah it's really strange but it was amazing This is the most expensive disaster in history as I said Now this is the start of a three-part series

and well there's going to be a lot of science in this episode which I will apologise in advance for before we get into what happened at Chernobyl let's take a look at the fittest Soviet woman in the 1980s Soviets up there with the fittest country Russians

at the top end well I'm saying but obviously we're not in Russia we're in Ukraine and at time of record Chernobyl is the worst thing that's happened in Ukraine right that's an open end I mean, who knows what's going to happen. I'd say the Soviets, until the age of sort of late 20s, possibly the fittest,

I'd say they, when they become, when they become others, they go off a cliff. Yeah. They, you know, you can... It's milk. Yeah. Yeah, breast milk does something to Russian women. And they become fucking bricks that you could build houses with.

I mean, yeah, it's about when do you get the Babushka thing. It's almost like immediately cover up. Yes. But they have respect that as soon as they're no longer like a 10 out of 10 fittest woman ever they get a scarf and wrap around their head

out of respect they put a burger on and they go 90 degrees suddenly it is yeah inside every gorgeous 25 year old Russian yeah

is a absolute shit brick house of a 40 year old Russian woman is this your dad's tipple Soviet women yeah he's getting married to a Russian woman

in June oh congrats and the best man you're the best man and the best man really are you you're doing a best man speech

I'll do this man, yeah. Wow, that's great. It's fun. Where's he getting married? I think it's only going to be like a legal wedding. So I'm not going to do the whole bells and whistles. Okay, so you're not doing a speech? I'll do, I'll do a speech, but it would be like pretty low care.

There's only like 40 people going. Best man for your dad. That's pretty cool. I guess I'm a nepo baby for getting the job. Yes. I guess it might, yeah, if my dad had a next, his next wedding was gay or something, I guess I'd be. But you've got to think, you know, if you're getting married in your late 60s, men after 50, we were talking about this last week

you don't have friends really it's harder to keep friends it's very suspicious for a manager to have friends I mean Charlie your dad has no friends right he's got no mates no he just like to hang out on my mum yeah but he's fine with it my dad has a couple of people who are mates for a bit but then they start they nearly always join reform or start selling crypto scams

and then he backs away and he's like I thought this guy was the best guy ever oh no what a shot listing his net worth and he yeah there's a one of his mates lists his left net worth and his 23 million, Dubai. Yeah.

Beast. Kind of beast. It's never too early to plan your summer story in Europe with WestJet from rolling countryside to cobblestone streets. Begin your next chapter.

Book your seat at westjet.com or call your travel agent. WestJet, where your story takes off. Your dad has any, does he have any mates? He's got far too many mates. That's suspicious. Yeah, well, it is suspicious.

He's a gay man. He's a gay man. Yes, mates, yeah. No, he's always, he's going to the theatre, he sees his friends, yeah. He listens to women. There's something, there's something deeply wrong with this man. No, no, in another age, my father would be chemically castrated. And I would not exist.

To stop him making friends. To stop him talking. And you're shedding friends now as you hurtle towards 40. Yes, I am shedding friends. I am. I'm deliberately trying not to go out of stuff, which is why I'm not in the Epstein files. I don't go to parties. But if you did, you would be?

Well, yeah, I'm a man. I'm like, well, all right, what are we drinking? Okay, 14-year-olds, fine. I'll wear the shirt. Yeah, I'll wear the shirt. Go on, Bill. Yeah, this is quite fun, actually. This is what we're doing.

You know, I'm easily led. I'm a sheep. I need a woman to tell me what to do. Speaking of women, this is, have you got Tatiana Sorocco? She is the daughter of nuclear physicists, and she grew up in a secret nuclear research community. Do they make her in a lap? Wow.

Yes, she looks very nice. Lovely. Is that her there? with getting a waps out yeah lovely stuff well

Chernobyl was not all bad now we're in Ukraine and the disaster is in April 1986 maybe we should

place this so what's this is this just before the hand of God I was about to say just before the hand of God is it

so when was that that was was to be the summer 86 right well cut and it was after

the Nietzsche killed God and went cross-eyed Or what were you going to think of one of Ryan? Yeah, after the invention of PC Plod, the term PC Plod. The forehand of God after PC Plot. No, no, I'd check that because PC Plod is in Noddy, is he not?

Is it after George Michael's first sex scandal? There you go. There you go. He's rhymed it. Okay, that's pretty good. What were you going to say? It was after George Michael's first sex scandal? What, the toilet's, gotaging? Yeah, I think so.

I don't know if he'd come out in 80s, in the 80s. 98, yeah, no, far off. Blair's in power when he's Yeah, fine, the Blair is. The Blair is, that's when it just goes down to toilet. Yeah, well, more than the country goes down the toilet. Michael goes in there and starts noshing people off. We are in Pripyat, which is, Pripyat, which is,

that's a new city which you've been to. And Chernobyl is the name of the plant, or is it, that's the area? I can't remember what you. I think it's the name of the plant. That's the name of the plant. But the city is called Pripyat, and there's Milton Keynes, but for people who work in nuclear science. Or is the power plant the Vladimir

Illich-Lennon nuclear power plant and then Chernobyl's probably the area then Chernobyl's the nearby town maybe Pripyat's the nearby town no I know Pripyat's built for the town but why is it called Chernobyl that's pretty handy

Charlie just we're out here just throw a life raft it is the Chernobyl nuclear power plant so maybe it changed anyway anyway who cares but what is interesting is that Pripyat because this is like

the pride and joy of the Soviet Union they put a lot of money into nuclear because that's their space age that was like their whole branding and they wanted to show off to the world that they could lead in nuclear engineering, which is quite funny. They built Pripyat as like a luxury town

in many ways because there's a lot of money going into it. And it is funny that you don't really get that. I only found that out with this research. I always just thought it was a shit Soviet town. Yeah. It's interesting with Soviet towns, you cannot tell what's luxury or not. I think it's luxury because it has like flowers lined the streets.

Yeah. But it's still just a fucking... It's still just dagonum, right? Yeah, yeah, the social union is just dagging them. You know what I mean? Like, type in Pripyat, like, this is meant to be like, oh, la-di-da. Didcock power station, I grew up near it. Shout out, Dick Cop.

You grew up to it. I did, yeah, they recently destroyed it. Yeah, they did. Yeah, they collapsed one of the turbines. I love watching them do that. Hey? Did you see them do it? I just watched it on telly.

Yeah, I watched it. I watched a clip of it, yeah. Let's get some background on nuclear energy. Now, I must, I must say that I got many messages in previous episodes about, about how triggering this podcast is to fucking wet bags who like science. Yes. They're fine with accents.

Yeah. They're fine with all sorts of other things getting wrong, but they cannot handle us talking about science. But we've been very clear that we don't know or care about a lot of gay stuff like science. None of us. We don't have any shit.

This podcast doesn't, we can cover quite a few interests. Yes. Science. No one's picking it up. What's Cole? What is Cole? Now, in our Thatcher series,

we dealt with coal mining. And none of us know what coal is, it turns out. And so what we think it is, and I still don't really know any better than this, is that it is burnt toast that people black up to go underground to get out, right? So an excuse to black up in the north. Now nuclear energy is a green energy source,

which is better because people don't have to black up to get it out. Yeah, and it tastes like an apple sweet. It's sweet, yeah, and it's glowing. It's like Sherba, I think. So the process of obtaining nuclear energy does not emit CO2 or smoke. And it becomes from a process called nuclear fission.

Oh, yeah. So, oh my God, there's a graph. Right. So you get atoms like uranium or unstable atoms like plutonium U235 or whatever. Obviously. Right, one of them. Yeah. This is an unstable atom, which I think means it's just sort of wobbly.

It's not balanced with the neutron, the proton, the fucking other one. Unstable is going like, it's wobbly. I think it needs to have all three of the, ones and then it's like stops wobbling as much. So that's why it's going like, for ding, for ding, basically these atoms,

they fire out neutrons. Yeah. And then they bounce off walls, right? And they split. So they're parkoring. Yeah, these atoms are parkouring around. Back flipping off walls.

Fucking jumping. Whoa, like just running across buildings. Very unstable. And that process emits, uh, energy. And then that heats up water.

Yeah, that's what was in. Which then creates steam and the steam powers stuff. Because I guess, did you think that nuclear power plants worked where it was like you put the green thing in and it went like, Yeah, the Simpsons. That's all my own lot of the Simpsons. And that was the energy.

Yeah. And you just took some of that like, and that went in. I didn't realize it's still just steam. Yeah. It's just a really dangerous way of making steam. Yeah. Just boil a kettle. Boil a kettle, mate.

Yeah. Could you make nuclear fission tea? Yeah, probably. Probably some of these nonsense listening do. No, trust me, it's way back. I trust me, it's way bad for the environment. In my command centre, I've got this, fission tea.

What? Apparently we're, you know, we're like made of atoms? Well, supposedly, but I don't believe that. You don't buy it? No, I don't buy it. What are you made? Hey? What do you think you're made of?

I'm flesh and blood. Yeah. Or is in the atoms as bollocks. I'm a poo hole in a bone or a brain. That's basically me. I'm not atoms. Wait, do you think atoms, because to be honest,

they could lie to us about atoms. I don't fucking, no. Because we can not see atoms. I don't know. They could have fucking lied to us. You know what I mean? But they're different things.

There's not a bit, it's not like a fingernail in a box and it's creating steam because they're firing it around. So it's not. What are you talking about? If I'm made of atoms, right,

and you've got atoms in a, in a box in a reactor, it's not like a fingernail, it's not a part of me. No, but I think it's the uranium atoms. It's the specific structure of the atoms of these things. I think your fingernail atoms maybe are not the right structure. Exactly.

But apparently... Don't say exactly as if that's... We're saying the same thing. Exactly. We're saying the same thing. Thank you. Yeah. What?

Apparently there's space between all of the atoms. So actually you're kind of made of air. It's actually... You're kind of spongy. Well, we're meant to be 70% water. But again, I don't buy that. Do you not? No.

Bullocks. Bullocks. I do doubt it. I'm 70% bother almost the time. So, in a nuclear power station, this reaction, which we've explained perfectly, must be carefully regulated because you're basically creating chain reactions. Yeah, but I think regulations is what's destroying the economy. Red tape, yes, I agree. In many ways, this is a victory for freedom from red tape, Chernobyl.

Nuclear fission creates a chain reaction, right? And an uncontrolled chain reaction is an atomic bomb. Right. Right, which seems like a lot of risk for the reward of getting a cup of tea. Right? Why don't we drop a bomb in order to make a fucking cup of tetleys? Yeah, or just boil a kettle. Let's split the atom.

Guys, kettles exist. Anyway, why don't you just have a hundred kettles in a box? Right. But how do you power the kettle? What? How do you power the kettle? Electricity. Where do you get that from?

Well, wherever it comes from now. Oh, that's a good point. Lightning. There you go. Okay, so you need a leg up, but then once you're up and running, the kettles will, it'll be self-regulating. You use the steam from some kettles. So you need to jump start the one kettle. Yeah, and the steam from that power is the other one, and it's like, and that's a chain reaction.

So we only need nuclear energy for one kettle, and then the rest should. Yeah, you get the green glowing thing, and you put that in a box, that powers one kettle, then you turn the green thing off and then kettle, you just race kettles. Yeah. Anyway, the heat produced by the fish and boils water, which creates steam that spins turbines, which creates electricity. These plants are very expensive to build,

and also any radioactive waste must be managed safely because it has a half-life. Did you learn about Half-Life at school? Well, I played the computer game Half-Life. This is amazing game. Half-life. Half-life! Half-lice!

Not, no. Yeah, no. It's that Chernobyl Blur. Yeah, Chernobyl Blur. Half-Live. The bin men don't come anymore And I don't go to school on Wednesdays My skin's falling off

And my ass is falling out And my wife left me And my wife's where his eyes are Half-life My baby's got seven fingers Half-Life All the people So many people

They all got cancer now All because of this Half-Live I feed the pigeons. I sometimes feed the sparrows to but now they're all fucking dead. Half-life. Brilliant.

Anyway. So the consequences of failure are severe as may have just been indicated by our... But the half-life, that is where it gets... What's interesting about nuclear, because obviously the fact that it's just steam is a little disappointing because of how dramatic nuclear stuff is.

But half-life is kind of terrifying, right? Yeah. It's like energy... forever. So do you understand Half-Life at all? I don't really understand it. Have I got a life? Shut up.

Shut up now. There's going to be a lot of that this series. I'm too stupid to talk about this. I can't have you being even more stupid than me because I'm already stupid. So you just shut up. Yeah. Half-life, I believe it's like radioactive waves

go out of a radioactively unstable thing. I believe Half-Life is where, It's how long it takes something to decompose, right? But the half-life can be thousands of years. That's what I mean, which means that it takes thousands of years to only go halfway, and then it goes thousands of years again to go half of that. And so it's very, very, very slow.

It's exponential, but in the opposite direction. So what's giving everyone cancer is radiation, and how that works is it's waves like this, right, going like that, and then it goes into your skin, and it disrupts the skin because it's going like... You know, it fucks your DNA. Yeah, it goes. Right under, so it fucking works in those pockets.

But Thomas Muller. Yeah. Right. So it's in between the lines. Yeah. And it disrupts. Pep Guardiola is. It's half-life.

Yeah, Sam Adelais has got no answer. But that stuff does kind of just really give me the boogles. There's something truly terrifying. And that's why this is a issue to solve for humanity is so terrifying. Because it's like, there's something like a Greek tragedy about like, not even a Greek tragedy, Greek myth about flying too close to the sun basically unlocking something that you shouldn't of. It's Pandora's box, isn't it?

Completely. So, let's get, so during the Cold War, the Soviet Union has invested in nuclear technology and it's, as you said, it's tied to prestige and it's the space age and the USSR rapidly expands its nuclear power program from the 50s onwards and the expansion happens

within this very centralized and crucially secretive political culture where there's no accountability and no one wants to take the blame for anything. Yeah. They're all middle managers. The Soviet Union, as we discussed in our Lenin Russian Revolution series, does mean the Union of Meetings.

Yes. That is what it means. A Soviet is a meeting. Yeah. So it's the country of the Union of Council meetings. It's a nightmare. And part of the problem of the Russian Revolution is something that should be very excited

is handicapped by the amount of meetings they have before anything happens. About Jackie Weaver's. Yeah. It's generally like if you're watching Too Fast, Too Furious, and then before every car chase, Jackie Weber comes on and there's like a meeting about where they're going to do the car chase. Anyway, so the nuclear sector is governed by these strict hierarchies,

and as ever there are these intense production targets that people are being judged on. And so this discourages open criticism or any problems being reported, because everyone's just looking after their own back. The Chernobyl nuclear power plant is constructed in the late 70s, and it is part of the Soviet Union's expanding nuclear energy. program and as you said it's officially named the Vladimir Illijlilin nuclear power station. Surprise, surprise. Chernobyl refers to a nearby town, which is not Pripyat.

Okay, fine. Anyway, so it's about 100 kilometers from Kiev. It's near Belarus and its site is chosen because it has access to water from the Pripyat River. Which you don't need. You need because you need to heat something up to create steam. It's relatively distant from major urban centres, although that, who cares when you're going to blow this thing to shit.

And it's designed to be a major electricity supply. for Ukraine and beyond. So Pripyat was built to plant the workers and their families. And yeah, it's like Milton Keynes, but Soviet. If you think Milton Keynes is depressing, check out Pripyat. By the mid-80s, it had about 50,000 people living there, young families. And I suppose they were skilled employees. It was considered one of the nicest places to live in the USSR.

Yeah. And there you go. So what does that even mean? That's the most tallest dwarf thing ever. Yeah, it is. Yeah. it's um it's dagonum yeah dagon them with flowers

but the flowers are there not because a kid's been killed by a car on a roundabout so the reactor of bolshoi mangiosti cali the rmbmk reactor this is not the same technology that the west uses right we use a green thing that homer simpson drops exactly that makes a lot more sense

but these are soviet designs because a part of soviet prestige as being able to come up with your own technology as critics later joked and bear in mind these are science people who don't know what funny is They said, RBMK, more like ridiculously badly made kettle. I mean, you say that, that's just what we said. Well, that's exactly what we said. No, I said we could be using thousands of kettles to achieve the same effect.

Right, okay. Well-made kettles. Right. Anyway, RWMKs. Yes. Ridicously well-made kettles. Yes. They should have used an RwMK reactor.

Many nuclear reactors, now, the RBMK uses graphite as a moderator. It's like in the OJ trial getting an Asian to do it. Yes, you're right. What was his name? Lance Eto. Eto. Graphite is the Lance Eto of this. It's like, let's moderate this.

Whites versus blacks, hang on. There's an Asian ref. So this will be fair. Who's the fourth official? Inuit. Yeah. Right. Anyway.

So the moderator is something that is there to slow down the neutrons. So the neutrons of this unstable atom is firing around. Fizzing about. they're fizzing about. They've got ADHD on a math scale. They're stimming. They're stimming. And then graphite is there...

Gives them a fidget spinner. It's a give them a fidget spinner. Yeah. Exactly. In simple terms, the more effective the moderation, the more energy gets released. You stick one thing in and it goes up. You stick another thing in it.

It goes down. And it's just moving up, down, up, down at the right times. Right? Yeah, what you say like that, I guess. I guess they must have been fucking idiots to get this wrong. So you have a thing called a con. control rod. Yeah.

And control rods are inserted into the reactor core to absorb the neutrons and to dampen the reaction. The control rods are pushed down into the core. They reduce power. When they're pulled out, power gets increased. What is it, Charlie? Well, I was just, I was wondering if you thought, you know, like, the theory about how monkeys will write Shakespeare if you just leave them to it forever?

Yeah. Do you think you'd ever come up with this? Does that still work when it's coming up in the nuclear reactor core? If you give a million monkeys, a million typewriters. Well, infinite. has to be infinite. Infinite, will they come up

with the nuclear reactor? Will they? They probably would. Well, not with the typewriter. That's got nothing to do with it. They'll be able to write the rule books of the...

Well, yeah, because it's infinite, then, yeah. I think I'd still be in the hills. Yeah, but you're just one bloke. This is literally... If you gave Infinite Charlie's infinite tightwriters, I mean,

at least 10,000 of you would shove it up your ass. Yeah, but there's loads of us. Yes, there is loads too, sir. Yeah. But I still don't think one of you would have made nuclear. But how am I seeing a neutron?

Well, yeah, I don't know. So I have to come up with a microscope before I even do that, and a pen. It's come up with a pen? You've got to be able to make a pen. Back yourself. I don't know if I would immediately. But you're just thinking about you on your own. I'd stand on the shoulders of my giants.

Yeah. To eventually. Luckily, you've got infinite amount of time. Yeah. So you will eventually crack it. So, right. So there are these big control rods, and they get pushed down into the core, and they reduce the power.

and stability of the reactor depends on maintaining the balance between the fuel, which is the uranium or whatever, the graphite moderator, the coolant flow, and the control rod position. Come to me now. Ladies, calm down.

No, that's not me asking for sex. You're hysterical. Please, calm yourself. Go to the toilet, take some deep breaths, and change your pants. I can smell them from here. We're talking about the science of Chernobyl.

Now is not the... time, okay? For Christ's sake, pull yourself together. I don't think you should be listening to this, frankly. You shouldn't be in here. You shouldn't be in here. This is not for you, all right? This is for men who don't see women because they live underground.

Now, now we've dealt with the science comprehensively. Everyone knows how a nuclear reactor works. Dip in, it goes up, take out, goes down. And there's a big button that says blow it all to shit. And I think maybe they press that, but we'll get to that. Which in the review, they said, take that button out because it serves no purpose. Yes. Having to blow up the whole fact.

Why have you got to blow up the whole thing, button? I just thought. Let's get into some of the characters that are a part of this story. The man who is the senior figure on the night shift on the event on the night that's happened was a guy called Anatoly Diatloff. Who in the Chernobyl miniseries is arguably besmirched. Yes. He's played by Paul Ritter.

And seemingly, obviously they blame the systemic issues of the Soviet Union for Schnoff. But he seems to be one of the nastiest, naughtiest men ever. He's just the worst boss of all time. Like, insecure, lazy, rude and causes Chernobyl. So they put it kind of all on him. Yeah, it's amazing. All of these like well-behaved nucleizers who are just trying to do their job.

And he's like, yeah, do it, it's fine. Which is amazing to be someone in charge of a nuclear power plant, to be that reckless and ignorant. Oh, fuck it. No, just do it. Do it, fuck it. I want to go home. Boring.

Dired now. Sir, it says it's about to blow. I don't care. Oh, fuck off. Do it. this is something we found out Diatlov so died December

1995 now Charlie when is your birthday February 96 are you saying he's a spirit are you going to spirit of Woden Diatlov when Diatlov died

Charlie was in the womb right so I believe that in the way that the spirit of Woden went from from Nietzsche to Hitler to fear to you yes yeah I believe the spirit of

diatlov at the time when he died, it came into you and you were Diatlov reborn. But instead of mismanaging a nuclear powerbant, you're mismanaging this podcast. You're the Diatlov of his podcast. Yeah, you are. And actually, do you know what? Every time we press record,

there is a meltdown, back there. I don't know what I'm going on. It's the spirit of Diatlof. You're always having to go and call Pete and be like, Pete, I don't know what you've done. I don't know what's happened here. Just get on with it. Get on with it.

And you'd look like a dinner lady. Do I? Yeah. Want to know the real story of how Oasis made Britain mad for it? How friends turned us on to coffee culture and super layered hair. The secrets of Nirvana, train spotting, gay hookups, Diana's revenge dress, and what it was really like to be a spice girl? Flung back into the decade when the world fell for cool Britannia, Bumster jeans and Lemon Hooch with Talk 90s to Me.

Listen now, wherever you get your podcasts. And if you use Spotify, you can. and watch the whole show too. That's Talk 90s to me. Out every Monday. The United States is the weirdest country in the world right now, and it doesn't make any sense to anyone. No, it doesn't, but I want to make it a bit less confusing. Oh, I do. Good. Well, our podcast can help. It's called American Friction, and it's out every Monday and Friday. We discuss all the big news from across the pond and explain it all with world-leading experts. That's American Friction. Listen right now, wherever you get your podcasts, right now.

American Friction! Diatlov was born in 1931, and he's a Ukrainian. He's born in, I think he dies in Kiev, anyway. Oh, no, he grows up in Siberia. Run away from home when he was 14. He studied engineering, graduated in 59, and he's worked. nuclear reactors for Soviet submarines, but it already

had prior radiation exposure from an accident in that job. I mean, this is Charlie's CV. Yeah, yeah, it is actually. So by the 1970s, he's considered fair experience of reactor systems. So he is the

senior supervisor on the night of the Chernobyl disaster, and he's overseeing a safety test, which is what's going on. So the other characters in this story before we get to the safety test you've got Victor Bruchanov who's the plant director and he is very much a guy who is all politics like he is entirely obsessed he's not really obsessed with safety he's obsessed with

promotion it's all civil service right yeah it's all about a ladder that you need to just slowly work your way up Bruchanoff is under pressure from higher up to keep the plant meeting these targets and to avoid disruptions to the grid I think maybe in the years reading up to 86, Chernobyl had hit, like, exceeded its production targets by, you know, 100% or something. Yeah.

And they wanted to keep it up. Yeah. Now, there are, I think there are the four reactors at Chernobyl? I think there are four RBMK reactors. And what they are doing in April 26, on April at 26th, is they are running a safety test. And what they want to work out is if you cut external power

for like a second or two seconds, or two seconds before the backup diesel generators kick in, there's like a little lag of two seconds. And what they want to know is if the steam that is already being produced can fill that two second gap and power the reactor so that there's no drop in electricity. Yeah. So that's what they're doing on the night.

Now, around Diatlov, are these other people, you've got Alexander Akimov, who's the shift supervisor, Leonid Toptonov, who's a 25-year-old engineer, and he's responsible for managing the actual reactor. That's not Leonardo Lewis, Charlie, although these people do keep bleeding, and that's part of the problem with radiation sickness.

Is that what that song's about? You think so, yeah. Wow. Now, the RBMK has several weaknesses. One of the most significant is what is known as a positive void coefficient. I said, stop listening, ladies. Positive void coefficient.

which is when her in a low power condition, if water in the reactor turns to steam, the reaction can accelerate rather than slow down. Which is the, this is exactly what you didn't want to happen. Yes. It's a button that says press this for the opposite to happen. Why have we got an opposite button?

And the graphite is the issue because the reactor is using graphite and water cooling. A loss of water does not necessarily mean a reduction in reactivity. I don't understand what I don't understand this No he's getting a bit too much I don't understand this But also what I do understand

It's like they went in at the wrong time That they're meant to go into the water And that's what makes the steam Maybe the water wasn't into It just went straight into the reactor And then that Cause around Well you also have boron

Is it boron Or xenon It's the opposite of graphite Boreon BORon BORon I think that's what they would Yeah

Maybe they misheard him going boring let's put bore on in anyway the tips of the control rods that are meant to shut down the reactor they've got graphite on them on the tips so when the rods that are meant to shut down the reactor

go in the graphite displaces water before the neutron absorbing section of the rods take effect I mean so the water's gone so the graphite goes directly into the core

I guess so And that's really bad, I believe. Yeah. But in the wrong conditions, this can cause a short spike in reactivity at precisely the moment the operators are trying to reduce power. So basically, the really bad kettle, the reactor, it can be operated safely, but there are very strict parameters of how you... The margin for error is far too big. It's very, very, very, well, it's very small margin for error. small margin for a

yeah why Charlie why are you Googling golden eye weaponry because I'm I can't concentrate because that's to do with nuclear bombs isn't it no I think it is no it's a satellite with a laser I think which is nuclear I don't think it is similar big hardware

it's hard yeah no you're not wrong it's hard there's a lot of gear involved with them yeah there's gear involved you can't have a nuclear reactor in your in your kind of toilet or or in your bedroom well I sometimes do have a nuclear reactor in my toilet but I'd prefer it if you called her Amanda yeah and she is unstable

okay and she has a very very large margin for error very small margin for error I mean it's a very small margin for error some of the stuff you miss reporting statistics yeah exactly to try and get ahead in the world I'm cooking the books yeah I'm not gonna be I'm not passing the buck

you know but there's an accident's inevitable yeah it is inevitable um so I mean, basically, your holiday, it sounds like you were up there. You were up there in your ski lodge. You were doing some safety tests.

You were constantly flushing the toilet. It sounds like you were. He's a nat lov in the toilet. You were basically as stressed as the men in reactive four control. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, fuck. No, no, no.

Yeah. So the test aims to see whether the turbine, which is still spinning after a shutdown, could generate enough residual power to bridge the gap. in the seconds between the loss of electricity and the generator starting up. It had been tried before, but earlier tests had produced disappointing results. Suspicious.

So, management want success, partly for paperwork, partly for credibility, and partly because they face distinct pressure to deliver successful tests, right? Originally, they meant to do it in the day, but it got delayed because the reactor was playing up. Right. But anyway, they knock it into the night shift,

which is perhaps why the outlawful. so cranky. BORON. So in the early hours of 26th of April, Unit 4 is being pushed into a low power regime where the RBMK was least forgiving. And they're about to start the test, right? So let's get to the night everything goes wrong.

Because the reactor had spent longer than intended at reduced power, the reactor was becoming unstable. Right. The control rods are partially inserted. just that's a little bit like teasing there are people listening

who will use this analogy when they're having sex you're ready for my control rod to be partially inserted Interactical I go oh shut down there's been a catastrophic accident that's what they say

in the cover their pants but that sort of implies that everyone in the control room is a nuclear cuck almost watching it happen just sitting in the chair Watching rods insert. I mean, it is a bit...

I'm raising critical mass. It's a bit sexual. Watching rods go into a core. Yeah. So the rods are partially inserted. Just the tip. Just the fucking tip. Water is circulated at high levels.

To begin the safety test, power has to be lowered to around 30%. Operators insert the control rods further. Increasing their depth in the core. Fuck. This also increases water flow. Yeah, I mean, it's very, very, very... It's getting very horny.

I mean, people listening. I pray for them. Yeah. The operators insert the control rods further. The water flow has increased. The combination cools the reactor more than expected. Oh. And suppresses reactivity.

This doesn't normally happen. At the same time, Zenon gas begins to accumulate. Fuck. Now as the power drops, Zenon levels rise. Okay. So effectively, the reactor is being smothered by its own exhaust. I bet it is. So instead of stabilizing...

What is it sitting on its face? Is that what you imply? Charlie. Instead of stabilising at 30%, okay, power collapses to around 1%. The react... Now, the reactor had entered a Zenon pit. Ladies, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry to say, but the reactor has entered a Zen on pit. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I wish it wasn't the case. It doesn't happen. This doesn't normally happen, but my reactor has entered a Zenon pit.

I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry. It's an absolute... It's a Zenon pit down there. I'm very, very sorry. I have reached a stall state in which sustaining a chain reaction has become difficult. Well, these are all great lines for rectal dysfunctional. This is brilliant.

Sorry, I've a stalled state in which sustaining a chain reaction has become incredibly difficult. Yeah. You must remember that an unregulated chain reaction is essentially an atom bomb. And that's what's happened down there. Okay?

I've been trying to power you safely, but I've ended up. If I keep pushing, it's going to be in danger the surrounding area and potentially the whole of Europe. If I keep having sex with you, then twice the energy that was emitted at Hiroshima will be emitted every hour for the next 20,000 years. It's a great way of a nerdy guy who can't keep it up

somehow getting power of the situation. Do you know that if I'm coming by pants now? Before you touch me and again, I'm incredibly reactive to your touch. I will explode if you touch me. My reactor core has entered a Zenon pit. Steam will come up my ears. If you put a control rod in me now,

water levels are remaining high. Zenon concentration has increased. The reactor is becoming hard to control. So Toputnov and Akimov I've been faced with a stalled reactor. It's about 1.30 in the morning, right? So they're tired. Yeah.

Diatlov's going, go, just fucking come on. Fuck off. Get on with it. Fucking do it. Do it. He's got an eye mask on and said, don't wake me up.

Yeah. Got cucumbers in his eyes. Right. So they're faced with a stalled reactor. And it's no longer sitting in a stable range. So they have a choice. Do they abandon the test and stay? Do we abandon the test and stabilize the unit?

Or if we try to recover power and carry on. Please don't say the second one. Please don't. Please take a second one. Option one. I need to stabilise my unit. I need to abandon the test. The test failed.

But under pressure from the bureaucrats, they continue. And so they raise power again. And they begin with drawing control rods, which keeps the test running, which then narrows the margin for safety. So there are protections that could have been interrupted, they've been disabled or bypassed. Automatic systems that would normally limit rod withdrawal

have been overridden. Eventually, most of the control rods are removed. Now, the power they think is meant to rise quickly, but it rises very slowly. So it only reaches about 7% of power, which means the reactor is now in unstable configuration. It's only being controlled by the high water levels and the neutron absorbing effects of xenon. Right. It is operating outside, say, parameters, but technically still running. Right.

So is the system still saying it's running? Charlie, what have you googled? How has Chernobyl led to Paralympians? Here we go. Team USA's highly decorated champion, Oksana Masters. She was born in 89. Three years.

Several physical disabilities believed to be caused by radiation exposure, including missing weight-bearing bones in her legs, non-functional knees. I have non-functional knees. I genuinely, it clicks every time at this one clicks, every time I squat. And at the weekend, I came on. up from a deep squat and I had a really big pop

and it's been killing me ever since. Mine click as well. I'm like Alan Partridge standing up. Yeah. Ah! Yeah, it's awful. Let the dog see the mangled rabbit. She's gorgeous. So this is, wow. So what she got...

Fucking radiation baddie. When did Baddy become slur for... Slur? It's a slur for a fit woman. She's got no... She's got web fingers, no thumbs and six toes on each foot

fucking out I could do a lot with that Christ You're getting a wristy From the thing from a shape of water Yes I suppose it is Is that what that film was about? Yeah So let's have a look at her

So she moves the US Has both legs amputated above the knee And she so what's her sport though She's a multi-sport superstar Numerous medals Summer and Winter Fuck So every cloud

One of the most successful Paralympians in history every poisonous acid cloud every radiation clouds every mushroom cloud every mushroom cloud has a fucking glowing lining

para cross country skiing para biathlon paracling she's won 24 medals total fuck me cheating almost

well there's a point where Paralympians are cheating and I suppose the committee has to find that line But this could have been the whole idea behind Chernobyl. To stimulate the loss of power, Akimov and the other cunt, reduce water flow to the reactor. The pump's slow.

Water begins to boil away. The cooling decreases. Zenon levels also begin to fall. And the very factors that have been suppressing the reaction start to disappear. With no water and no xenon, reactivity surges. Akimov presses the emergency shutdown button, the AZ5. The fuck it button. The fuck it.

right this is that meme of the superhero with the two buttons right this is designed to insert all the control rods and halt the reaction because the graphite stabilizes the reaction the graphite tip control rods stabilise the reaction that's what the theory is but the flaw is that the graphite tips

mean that that displaces the water and increases the reactivity before the rods can actually right so it's the tips is that lag is that two second lag between less than that minute second lag but in a stable reactor

this spike would be minor but in the unstable conditions inside reactor four it proves catastrophic power surges oh the erection comes back oh it's back my reactor stable

shit quick quick fuel channels my fuel channels are ruptured water flashes instantly into steam generating it this is a guy

desperately trying not to come in the condom he's just trying to desperately get it in before please I need to lose my opportunity. Enormous pressure is generating.

The control rods are jammed. With cooling gone and no effective graphite moderation, the chain reaction runs out of control.

At 1.23 a.m. the reactor's power rises sharply. In our next episode, we will deal with what happened that night.

The biggest busted history. The biggest busted history that causes an entire city to be evacuated. A Ukrainian

Virgin has splooged all over Pripyat. The whole of Europe, the whole of the world is at risk. The next two parts in our epic three parts are on Chernobyl are already on the Patreon, where for three pounds a month, you can join a community of people who understand

the science that we're talking about and make cups of tea with nuclear fission, probably. On the Patreon for our bonus episode this week, we'll be talking about Fukushima, Japanese Chernobyl. Couldn't give a Fukushima. That's on the Patreon. But if not, we'll see you on Thursday,

for the next part in this harrowing tale. Goodbye. Goodbye.