Fin vs History - First Port Stanley, Now This?? (with The Upshot!) | The History of The World Cup (Part 3/4)

Episode Date: June 15, 2026

Welcome to the weird world of drug testing. The World Cup (Part Three) The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened.   For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon  ⁠⁠patreon.com/fintaylor⁠   This episode of Fin vs History is brought to you by Surfshark.   Secure your privacy with Surfshark! Enter coupon code FVH for an extra 4 months at ⁠⁠⁠https://surfshark.com/fvh⁠⁠ Chapters: 00:00 - Time Wasting  04:30 - Keep Your Head Above The Shit 08:33 - The Merchant Of Death  13:21 - Can A Man Not Change? 15:59 - Male Mental Health  21:21 - Pope’s Bathroom 25:50 - Port Stanley 32:36 - Wind It Down 37:18 - Farcing Hell Mate 42:19 - Bad Egg 46:17 - Red Rag To A Bull 53:02 - And It’s Live Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Welcome back to FitVust History. It's part three of the World Cup story. We're still joined by the Upshot boys. Hello. And this episode we're going to the den of Iniquity that is South America

in the 70s. It's the sewer. You keep leaving big challenges in South America this series. You're really putting some crunching tackles in. Well, we're going to see why, aren't we? We're going to see why. Something we missed out on the last episode

was which I thought it happened in a later World Cup. The Argentinians are animals. The Argentinians are animals. And the Brazilian The Brazilians keep trying to fuck them. I'm like, no, no, no, guys, you want goats. Anyway, in 1974 in the West German World Cup, we need to talk about Zaire, because this is one of the funniest moments.

I only realized yesterday that it's not actually what I, as funny as I thought it was. So you wear this moment. So, Brazil are taking it. So Zaire qualify, and they're being led by a dictator in Zaire, formerly the Congo called Mobutu. Oh, yeah. Have you guys done this on your...

Yeah, we've done this. So who's Mobutu? Big dictator. He organised the rumble in the jungle as well. He's sort of doing the sports washing thing for Congo. Is there not a story or supposedly this NBA player who he became mates with and went over there and then this NBA player. Rodman?

Disappeared. No, it wasn't here, but someone else. This guy disappeared and the story is that he got eaten by Mabuti. Yeah. Or that might have been Idiot Amin. But that's Idiot Amin. Idiot. He also threatened Mohammed Ali as well.

Yes, he did. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, Mabuta, so it's Zayy, as it's called then. And he's got some insanely long name. He's changed his name too. You're right. And it's sort of the ideal dictator look.

The all-powerful warrior who, because of his endurance and inflexible will to win, goes from conquest to conquest, leaving fire in his wake. It's like that Welsh town. That's my pet name. Big run up. Mobutu Sese, secot and cucko and go bendu wazabanga. You off my heart. Yeah.

And he wears the iconic dictator look. You know what I mean? It's like leopard print sort of soldiers handmade of leopard print. Could look almost airline, Air Hostessi. Yes. Yeah, quite like short skirt.

You wouldn't say it to him, no. No, I can't know. So anyway, so he's, they're promised financial rewards for qualifying, they get embezzled, and then the squad say we're not going to play, so then FIFA pay them directly to play Yugoslavia.

They lose 9-0. Mabuti then directly intervenes saying if they lose by more than three goals to Brazil, then they wouldn't be allowed. to return to Zaire. So that's the context. That's great.

So they're 2-0 down to Brazil. When Brazil gets a free kick. So the 9-0 was a group stage game. Yeah. Right. So they, yeah, Zaya did not make it out the group. Sorry to break out to you. There's a game where,

so they're losing 2-0 to Brazil, there's a free kick, and then they're lining up in a wall, and this must be like the last sort of 20 minutes of the game. So, you know, never had there been higher stakes, really, for the Ziaipers. One of them, a defender called Mweper. Ilunga just runs out

before the whistle's gone and just boots the ball up field and the BBC spin this as like native confusion doesn't know the rules Oh, doesn't know the rules Now I genuinely thought that's what this was until yesterday The World Cup

I listened to a podcast I said oh no It was because he was brilliant I love this native confusion story No because when I remember this from watching the FIFA sanctioned box set History of the World Cup

when I was a kid and Barry Davis goes oh bless him he doesn't even know the rules or whatever but actually it turns out he was just trying to save his own life time wasting he was time wasting

yeah because the other thing I heard he was like trying to humiliate Ubitu by maybe by maybe he's the one that went to FIFA and he's like I didn't know the rules

I didn't stick this on the DVD box there later well I believe that until yesterday and so I guess it's not as funny anyway let's get to South America 1978 Argentina

This is an absolute powder keg Sure The you know The Hiroshima of the invasion of Port Stanley Is only four years away One of many British Hiroshima's

I've lost count of how many Hiroshima's there's been in this series So there's a military hunter And these guys They're not good guys They're not good guys They're chucking left-wing students Out of helicopters

Yeah Which I do, to be fair is quite funny. To get some new cross Goldsmith's students. Right, out of the bin, fuck off. They, yeah,

they're bad guys. Inflation in 976 exceeds 560%. Because the Argentine economy is just sort of like psychedelic at this point. Yeah. It's kind of, they started off being quite a powerful, they're like a miracle of the South.

Yes. And now it's just like inflation is an insane, it's just been spiraling for years now. Yeah. And it doesn't really get better. In 1976, a bomb goes off in Buenos Aires, on average, every three hours. There was a political assassination every five hours. Every five hours is a political assassination.

God, who's left? Exactly. This is like the troubles on speed in Argentina. So this is like local councillors at this point, though. This can't be like the big dogs. Yeah. The bombing Jackie Weaver. With the country completely ungovernable, the military hunter come in,

Horge, Vidaya, and they establish a regime, which will commit the original sin of invading our southern border of the Falkland Islands. They will also disappear an estimated 30,000 people. But they inherit the World Cup from the previous government. And they think this is probably, apart from Mussolini's World Cup, this is, I suppose, the most corrupt,

the most dirty, the most sports washing. But the Argentinians would view 1966 was far worse than this, right? Yeah. Yeah. Because of the red card. Because of the red card. Because someone didn't understand the order to be sent off.

Right. They hadn't learned English. Yeah. That's the problem with that. Underneath the ground aren't poets getting tortured literally while people are playing? No. No, exactly. When England lived the World Cup, there is not some left-wing students being thrown from a helicopter into the sea.

A celebration. Yeah. So that was the swing in 60s. So they were loving. Exactly. Prime time for left-week students. So this is also. I guess this episode is Maradonna's story.

Right. You know, Maradonna doesn't play in the 78 World Cup. But he is, was he 17? He's too young to play. But there's still a great team. They've got like Mario Kemper's and Ozziard Diaz. And they've got, they've got Seiz Armagnotti's their coach who's like, maybe the thinnest man I've ever seen, just chain smoking.

A real kind of professor. Let's have a look at Seiz Arminoffi. Charlie? Oh, yeah. It's Bruce Forsyth. He would just sit, just chain smoking on the side. guidelines. Is this when...

I like that. When did Maradona fall in a cesspit? That was like when he was a child. He lived... Because he was a super poor upbringing, right? Yeah, he fell into a cesspit and almost drowned. Sorry, so what is a cesspit in a literal sense? It's a huge...

You know, you just... Yeah, do you mean he just walked out in the door? He just fell over in... Is that a tank of shit? It's tank of shit. But all the shit flows into... I don't if it's even a tank. I think it was just a pit.

A hole in the ground. Didn't happen to some girl at Glastonbury or something. She fell down into the looms, just swimming in it. Yeah, loving it. Swimming it implies she's loving it. It's like those French toilets. It's also known as the healing fields. So, okay, so Maradonna falls on a big pit of shit.

Yeah, so it doesn't go to the World Cup. But is that his kind of Spider-Man? Yeah, villain, sorry. Does he get bitten by a radioactive turd? There's probably a lot of coke in the shit. A kid explains. That's why. He's wandering around the dark.

He falls into a pit. was saved by his uncle Cyrillo jumps in and pulls him to safety, famously urging your young child to keep your head above the shit. Are you jumping? Moral life lesson, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. You're jumping in for a nephew?

Yeah. No. I don't know. Nancy, isn't it? A bit noncy to do that. Wait, would you arrest him immediately? Would you arrest him immediately? It was a test.

Yes, it wasn't. And you failed. You failed. It's not the old witch test. The, uh, so, uh, but now there's also a whole thing about like Operation Condor, which was the American, like sort of funding CIA

Hunter they're helping them out yeah so what is it so Argentina need to beat Peru by at least four goals to reach the final 78 and then they end up winning 6-0

and there are all these allegations about whether it was fixed as part of a human exchange because Videa agrees to take and process i torture and chuck out of a helicopter 13 Peruvian dissidents in exchange for a favourable score line

It's the proven government. Yeah. Economic records suggest... It's quite funny as it's calling it processing. Yes. I'm in data processing. You need to be processed properly. So Argentina allegedly ships

35,000 tons of grain to Peru and then they release $50 million of frozen assets after the game has been lost 6-0. That's the exchange rate. That's the exchange rate. That's the exchange rate. Yeah.

And then Kissinger... This is where Kissinger gets involved. Kissinger and Vedaa enter the Peruvian dressing room just beforehand. So Kissinger, I mean, this is like, he's just been bombing Cambodia. He's shaking hands. He's pressing the flesh. Yeah, but Cambodia just needs to sign something away.

Yeah, fuck off. This is post-Watergate Kissinger. He's just, his footprint, his handprince are over there. And is he kind of threatening them. That's the subtext, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. The subtext is that he's the puppet master. Good luck, lads.

Yeah, exactly. Peruvian captain later recalled it felt like a silent threat disguised as a diplomatic greeting. Leaving the players unsettled wondering whether high ranking officials weren't visiting the home team instead. There you go. Is that quite a good deal though for Peru? What was it? 50 million in assets.

And you get rid of those. Quite a lot of grain as well. You probably won't going to win the tournament. That was six. And you get rid of the distance. This is pre-Nobis Salana. It's like, um. Who's Lobby Salana?

Come on. Peruvian legend. Newcastle winger. It's like the only Peruvian guy. Him and Paddington bear. Yeah, that's all Peru have got. You never heard Nobis Solano. No.

Noberto. Newcastle legend. Alberta. To give him this. Like, no. Noberto Stalardo. Naldo. Name another nobu.

Holder. But this is this deal, it's a bit like, you know when Brittany Griner, that women's NBA player got arrested in the US. No, sorry, in Russia. She had like a weed vape on her and she was detained. It was like around the time of the Ukraine war and they were using, basically holding her hostage. Sure, sure.

And they eventually got her released by exchanging her for a. Russian arms dealer called the merchant of death. Yes, I remember this. The merchant of death. We'll give you, you guys back our W.OBA player. Exactly.

What's worse? The motion of death or a woman's basketball. Yeah. A lot's more damaging to the world. Tomato. Tomatoes tomato.

Abramvich gets him out. Yeah. He strikes that deal. So this is also the World Cup where the guy who had spent having many millions of pounds on the stadiums who had organized it gets blown up in a car bomb

hours before the tournament starts. Now, was that a suicide? We don't know. We don't know. Cameras are off. I think he was killing himself. Much like Pickles the dog, we don't know. I think he just, yeah. If there's a car bomb going off every three hours

then it was bound to happen. Yeah, that's the odd law of averages. To be fair, I do think car bomb as a suicide method is fucking hilarious. It should be used more. Would you do it as a button or a timed one? Because if you time at 20 minutes, you just sit there. Yeah.

Well, all that is, it's just dad outside his house waiting in the car. But then the thing explodes. You can also pick who you want to traumatise. Yes. Drive through. Yeah. Six chicken to Lex and a big mat, please. Not quick enough.

It's called fast food for a reason. Bang. I'd love that. That'd be absolutely brilliant. Just trauma. some poor McDonald's employee. Next window, please. Bang.

Fuck it all. Yeah, so Kissinger is the guest of honour at the tournament. I mean, this absolutely stinks. This one. It stinks like the cesspit. Marlon was drowning and shit. So is the tournament.

Geron Kroyf doesn't even travel because he'd been a kidnapping attempt on his family, is that right? He says. The theory is his wife won't let him after the... After he was fucking... The German Tits.

Four years earlier. Croy from the doghouse. How's he not Croif turning out of the dog house? Why isn't his wife like running out the picture? He's on the shoulder. She thinks you in Netherlands. You're Croifton. He's on the plane.

And his wife just stood there like, where's your ankle breaker? God. This is where friend of the pod, Joseph Mengelei. Doctor. I apologize. Sorry, can I just do this on the computer? I apologize to Mangalai and his family. The Nazi War.

doctors who support health workers support this nation's doctors okay I'm on the balcony bashing pots and pans for Dr. Joseph Fing but first do no harm that's a hypocrite that all doctors agree to

yeah the original key worker Dr Joseph Mengale is rumoured to have sat with the hunter during the final now our listeners are very very thick they will not in might not know. They're ugly as well.

They're very ugly and fat. Joseph Mengele. Joseph Mengele. Now, what was the woman's basketball player called the angel of death? So he's the angel of death. So I guess that'd be like a woman's ice hockey player.

No, there's a difference. The merchant of death, you know, that's grubby. That's financial. The angel of death, that's holy. Angel of that sounds great. He was the guy, the concentration camps who was doing Nazi experiments. Yeah, free, yeah.

Freestyling. Yeah. Yeah. Basement jazz. Yeah. So he's rumoured to being guest of honour at the, that's how dirty this is. Yeah. Because he's the one that actually got away.

Yeah. He's the Nazi that genuinely. The one that got away. He is the one that got away. Eichmann tragically, illegally. It was illegal. Illegal to extract Eichmann back to Jerusalem. He did nothing illegal in Argentina.

He was a... He was a... A law-abiding. Yeah. Law-by-sism. It is a disgrace. Yeah. And Israel need to pay for that...

The statute. Yes. We need to... We'll deal with Israel now when we get to it, but there's a backlog of Israeli crimes. We need a tribunal. We need the Eichmann trial trial

where we put judges on trial. Yes, but statute of limitations surely apply. Exactly. That was ages ago. 20 years ago. Can a man not change? What's happened to forgiveness in this age of cancel culture?

Anyway. Was he just like an outstanding citizen in Argentina? It was very boring. Eichmann had a family. You could set your... watch by him because he'd turn up at the bus stop at the same time. Every his watch was it, is the point that they're making.

Yes. But, yeah, he would say he worked in a Mercedes factory and he didn't even want a promotion. Oh, you know? He's a humble guy. He just wanted to live his life for this family. And is that a crime? A straight man with a mortgage

extradited by the Israelis. It's sickening. Absolutely sickening. Anyway, Joseph Mengale is a hero who lives free in Argentina and is invited to watch the 78th file allegedly. Are they

Nazis as well, the Hunter? I think it's more it's irrelevant. Yeah. It's more like you're a Nazi. It's like,

all right, mate, don't need you don't mind about Nazis. So they're just into him for his medical work. For them,

they're small talking, he explains the entirety to the Holocaust. He goes, all right, that's like Dr. Phil. So that's why

you were bound to the 1950s or? All right, cool. Yeah, so he was telling me he's holocaust yeah, he did the Holocaust.

Yeah, I studied history at you. So what's all this stuff about The Netherlands ties with Israel made a referee unsuitable Is this for the final? They've got an Israeli ref Well that is, with Mengele in the crowd

That's a disgrace Come on, come on Red Rag to a ball It's going to trigger him Yeah, yeah He's got a lot of trauma And that Israeli ref is taking him right back To some of his darkest days

One of his best mates Got extra by the Israeli government In Argentina. In Argentina, of all places. Yeah. Well, I guess male mental health wasn't a big thing. It's before mental. We should place in 1978.

It's before mental health. I don't know. When is the key male mental health moment? Is it when Tyson Fury does a documentary about having it being sad? What's the kind of the moment where male mental health... I think it's Alistair Campbell's rehabilitation from war criminal to podcast. I actually was mental health. Actually, I was depressed.

Oh, fine. Okay. Fine. No, there must be like a defining moment for men's mental health. South. Was it a show? Isn't it the Aces reunion last summer, isn't it? Yeah. Well, that's the end of it. I'm sorry.

It's cured now. Of course. Every man is fine. Anyway, so they protest that there's an Israeli ref. And so the FIFA, to be fair, it hears them and says, you're right. Let's put an Italian instead. Argentineers players walk off the pitch for seven minutes. The crowd is chanting. What's the thing with the...

So like literally next to the stadium, there is the disappearing jail. Jail. You can hear the crowd. That sounds like an amazing event. Sorry, it's not the disappearing jail. The disappearing jail. It's like a... Secret cinema.

With the magnificent Dr. Joseph Mingolet. And his marvelous medicine. So yeah, just 700 meters away, the people are being tortured in the Navy School of Mechanics. So is that because the crowd drowns it out? It's quite a useful. Yeah. But maybe also the prisoners. Because there's just so much torturing you can't escape.

And football stadiums are good for that sort of caper, aren't they? Yeah, that's that shit. And then prisoners are hearing the chanting and the guards are like, yeah, that's for our regime. Yeah. Oh, okay. They're tortured and saying they're laughing at you. Yeah. They're showing pictures of your tiny knob.

And everyone's going, yeah, that's small. So people are being tortured while, and the photo, can you get the photo, Charlie, of the ticker tape at the end of the 78. When Argentina would win the final, it's like you can hardly see. see what's going on, the amount of white and blue ticket tape that comes out. It's glorious. Oh, right. I didn't know where you were going. It's pretty amazing.

It's a bit new money. Torturing. It's pretty amazing. Oh, yeah, that's great. So, Netherlands gets to the final again. We slagged Argentina off a lot. But too fair, the ticket tape uses, we're a big fan.

We've got me fair. Astonishing use of touch. I think that's not probably not cricket. None of our business. None of our business. The ticker tape, we're a big fan of. So, fair play. So again, this is, so this is Holland without

Croif in their kind of the end of the total. So they made back to back finals? Yeah. Yeah. They lose both times. It went to Van Bommels later. That's way later. That's 2010. But they're not, the Dutch are not playing total football in 2010. No. It's awful stuff. No, this is a, uh, Noget-Kout. Yeah, it's a real idea, isn't it?

Is Dirk Cout? Is Dirk Cout? Wait, hold up. Let's get Dirk Cout. I mean, even the name. He's got lovely blonde hair. He, no, if we're doing ugly football, He's not scratching the side. He looks a little bit like he... Oh, let's like that go out of the Come on.

Come on. He looks a little bit like something out of Lord of the Rings. Come on. Nothing close to Jolene Lescott, Frank Ribbury. Not Dutch. Guy.

Are you saying the ugliest Dutch football? Did you say Dutch football? I said the ugliest man. Frank Rivary. But these men are scarred. Oh, is that? Yeah. Yeah.

I think the scar does a lot for him. I think he's... No, because Frank Ribby's going like this. No, it's like I got scarred. It's like, take the scar away. Yeah, same result. Yeah, same result. Yeah, same result.

I actually think Bobby Charlton's got to be up there with that. Get Bobby Chowton up. Hold up. He's got a heroic 22-year-old hairline. Look at this. What are you talking about?

He's pretty knobbly. Yeah. It's got iconic here. That comb over. As a 29-year-old, as a 29-year-old with a comb over. Yeah. We have lost that as a society.

Yeah. This is pre-going to Turkey. That's not a woke hairline. That is. That man has got right-wing views. Yeah. Anyway, so Argentina Win the 78 World Cup

Which absolutely stinks And this sort of starts Well, it continues a tradition Of complete Latin American shithousery So let's get to Maradonna Born in what On an onion farm or something

Cesspit wasn't it? Born in a cesspit Yeah Lived his life in a cesspit Born in a Shantytown in Buenos Aires And you guys have done Maradonna right Oh big time

Yeah, I've done a few. Yeah. I mean, there's the Coke, obviously. Yeah. So I suppose, what, we'll get to 82, but when did he go to Napoli and start really hammering it? I think he went to 84. Okay. So it was a bit before that he got into Coke.

He gets into it in Barcelona, doesn't he? Yeah, he was playing at Barcelona and, like, wasn't, I think he got a bad injury or something there and got really into gear. Right. Like, apparently there was a journalist that went around to his house when he was out injured and went in and it was just like 11 a.m. 11 a.m. on a Tuesday.

Scarface. It's just like Scarface. Just like they're their ping pong table with just like mounds of cocaine. And I guess if we're talking about the cultural differences, I guess especially from your sort of Calvinist upbringing. This is something you won't be able to relate to. Maradona had a close relationship with his immediate family. Disgraceful.

Yeah. He spent a minimum of $15,000 a month calling his parents and siblings. Calling. Call it. Can you have one. Labar and Mobile. How are you racked up that kind of money? Calling your parents.

I don't know if you can relate to calling your, So basically you I'm saving $15,000 a month I'm not speaking to my family. So you calling your sister at nine hours a day fracking up the bill? Mental.

Waste of time. What are they even chatting about at that point? Surely he's on a lot of gear at this point as well. I guess that's why he's got a lot to chat about. It's just, business like this. So he's like,

he's from a 12 year old, he's like, he's unbelievable, my daughter. He is probably the most naturally talented player ever to make a goat. Yeah, it's the most fun. He's the most fun. He's a lot of football character as well.

Because I guess the big comparison obviously is Messi, but Messi was mad enough without the gear, I guess. Well, he was sort of doing it without. He had the hormone injections. Yeah. It's not quite as fun. Yeah, I guess because Messi wasn't banging cut. Maradotte did this all on shit pitches.

Yeah. Yeah. And also had the build of a darts player. Yeah. That's what's funny about it. Yeah. It's John Belushi cartwheat in the Blues Brothers. he scores the greatest goal of old time

all time while having a BMI of 40 but I mean one of the great documentaries is the film about Maradonna by the guy that did the Amy Winehouse I always forget the director's name and he showed this footage of this cycle he got into at Napoli where he's like

he'd be training for three days he'd win a game single-handedly and then go out on a sort of Coke and booze mafia field four day bender not sleep, then basically the next day, on a Thursday, treadmill, oxygen mask. Yeah. Wrapped in cling film sometimes? Yeah.

Wrapped in bin bags. They just start the whole cycle again. That's basically how Charlie produced this podcast. He's in a bin bag now. He's in a bin bag now. Asif Kapardi, that's his name. Anyway. That's a great dog.

There's another story. The book the doc is based on has a story that Maradonna did Coke in the Pope's bathroom. Wow. in the Vatican. Yeah. Wow. He was meeting the Pope

and he went on all night bender the night before and his agent was like come on mate, rain it in but he stayed out and according to his agent he demanded to go into the Pope's bog and just put one away.

Amazing. Doing lines in the... That's the most... Bracking it up on the Marvel. It's the most Catholic thing I've ever heard doing cocaine in the Pope's bathroom. But you would like...

Because for that trip I think he got invited and his family is all Catholic and it's quite big honest. All his like mom and dad and he's been on the phone for them constantly in there. So they know about it.

So they come over and they're at the hotel and you know, you've seen the Pope tomorrow is probably like, an early night, probably, but it's not his bag.

In 1985, the Pope invited Diego Maradon to the Vatican to promote an anti-drug campaign. I mean, absolutely hilarious. I didn't know it's an anti-drug campaign as well.

Is it more like, look at the state of this? Yeah. Oh, you want to drugs, yeah. Well, he's not a great face of anti-drugs because it's more like, if I do loads of coat,

will I be maradonna. That's brilliant. He's basically like, he's up the photo. Fated cocaine. So, now his first World Cup is 1982, which is in Spain, which has just transitioned from Franco. From Franco to democracy. So the main crisis that the tournament is defined by Britain's southern border.

Britain's southern border has been breached. The Argentines, as if it wasn't enough with their hosting a final. with the Arjus. Yeah. It is overshadowed by the British Hiroshima and the British Nagasaki. Yeah. The invasion of the Falklands Islands in April 1982. A century-defining war crime.

Yes. Biggesting. It's the biggest injustice to the 20th century. We live in the shadow of the Falkland Islands to this day, as we've said. The British government have to consider if they would participate in a supporting event alongside the aggressor. I mean, yeah. It's a tough question. There were calls for a boycott, as there would be.

But then Thatcher goes, well, hang on, that's not, if we boycott, then you're basically giving it. Yeah. They've won, haven't they? So Thatcher says, well, it'd be good for morale. So they send, look at her there, resplendent, holding a football. Kevin Keegan on the left. Yeah. Great, true.

So, now, in 82, Maradonna gets kicked to shit. Is 82 where there's a photo of him going through the Belgian team? There's an iconic photo. It was at 86. Weaving. Yeah. There's a photo of all the Belgian defenders, and he's like...

He gets kicked a lot. Yes. 23 fouls committed against him in one game. And so what had happened in the Falklands is that Maradonna thinks he's playing for the boys. And the Hunter in Argentina have put out like a news blackout, so everyone thinks it's going very well. It's only when the team gets to Spain,

they read Spanish newspapers, and they go, oh, right, we get fucked. Stanley has fallen. So he's 21. He's fully grown, 5-5. And he makes his debut distracted by the true nature of the Falklands disaster.

From his perspective, they lose 1-0 to Belgium. The next day, June 14th, Port, Stanley falls, and Argentinians surrender. Rejoice. Rejoice. The world is safe. The world is saved. It's during the tournament that it's all...

You know the sun front page? Gotcha. And they sink the Belgrano. Is that during the World Cup? Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. There's no CCTV for that 15 minutes.

The cameras were turned off for that. Yeah. Belgrano had a hole in it. Gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah, but I suppose this is all leading into the jingoes. It's a World Cup summer. I mean, the tabroids are never more rabid than if it's the World Cup.

So if there's a war on as well. Yeah. It's the sun at there, absolutely. Yeah. It's peak sun. So, yeah. Maradonna. Now, is this the World Cup where we get to the second group's

stage, the two group stages. There are some weird ones, are there? We have a shit world club, don't we? Well, you say that, but we have just recovered the Falklands. I think that needs to be put into the context of this shit world. We saved the world. No one gave us any credit. Three World Wars, one more.

We stood alone. Thank you, Jack. Three World Wars. Also, we stood alone. Again, we stand alone. You know, the world expects us to be the global policeman. It's not tenable. We're stretched.

We've sorted out Germany. We've sorted out Korea. I know you're asking to sort out the for. I mean, guys, what is the UN for if it's not to sort out the forklans? So, yeah, as I said, Maradonna gets kicked to shit. And by a guy called Claudio Gentile, who's, is he, I don't know, he's Belgian or something, when told he was playing too aggressively, Gentile said, football is not for ballerinas.

Not so Gentile after all. Lovely stuff. Our ballerinas doing coconut post bath. That's my. imagine I get sent off in a game against Brazil in their final match for violently kicking Brazilian midfielder Batista in the groin

which you can see a photo of there yeah that's not that's not cricket It's a retaliation It's not Dave Bautista Charlie Batista the rest of not him So but as you say in the 80s He then moves to Napoli in what 802 Wait hold that World Cup then

Is it Germany? What was it? 82 Or is it Italy It's Italy Do we go out at the group stage? There's a second group stage that we go out. Brian Robson. Want to know the real story of how Oasis

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The United States is the weirdest country in the world right now. And it doesn't make any sense to anyone. No, it doesn't, but I want to make it a bit less confusing. Oh, I do. Good. Well, our podcast can help. It's called American Friction, and it's out every Monday and Friday. We discuss all the big news from across the pond and explain it all with world-leading experts.

That's American Friction. Listen, right now, wherever you get your podcasts, right now. American Friction! Plays. We lose to Spain or draw against them. Anyway, we have a terrific kit in 82. That's the Admiral one. Oh, yeah.

That now has been resold and the most boring cunts in the world by, so it's ruined the kit. Yeah. So let's talk about Maradonna in the 80s in Napoli. You guys have done extensive research on Maradona. So I mentioned the cocaine use, but he dodged it with a fake penis. Because obviously you've got to take drug tests in the 80s. Right.

So he had a thing, apparently quite a big prosthetic shlong. If you're going to get a prosthetic cock to dodge drugs test, you're going to make it a big ear. Yeah, no one asks for one. It's got to be realistic. Yeah. You can't be pulling out a massive fake shlong. I mean, maybe you should give it a little.

It's a snooker when you get the big one out. That's the odd one. It's just like a big rest A big cocktail. And it's not cheating to do that in snooker. It's just sometimes you can't reach across the table. It's just like a step up. You need one of those.

Yeah, it's like a little thing. He fills it with like baby urine or something. Yeah. Where's he getting that from? Home. Right. So he sort of takes his son's piss to do drug test. It's sort of Brian Johnson-esque, isn't it?

Brian Johnson compares reactions with his son. Yeah, yeah. There's a link with him and Maradonna, I guess. but they live quite different philosophy. Very different lives. Are you seeing Viral's latest that he's measuring his girlfriend's vaginal pH? Well, thank God someone is.

The new K-D-I. So as he get in one of those pieces of paper sticking it in and that's turning purple. Yeah. Yeah. Checking the oil. Yeah. You've got her. You've got to change the oil.

Apparently, she's top 1%. Sorry? Top 1% of vaginas. So imagine she wasn't. For acidity? In pH terms. Do you want acidity or alkaline? I guess you want the neutral, though.

You want to be six on the scale. No, that's water. You want slight acidity, I think. Slight as well, whatever. She's got the best one. You want it to be somewhere between 3.8 and 4.5. Yes, you want it to be quite... Is that a vagina or water?

That alkyna or is acidic. That is acidic. Highly acidic. Which naturally prevents the overgrowth of harmful bacteria. Right. There's a vinegreens. Yeah. It's a white wine vinegar.

A sharpness. Yes. You don't want a raw apple cider vinegar with bits of it. No. But you want a bit of sharpness. You don't want a bastery acid. You don't want to compote your mother down there. All right.

You want... Sarsum... A bit of balsamic to just sort of drizzle over the waterways. In the days leading up to your period, your, um, your vaginal environment slightly becomes more alkaline, apparently. Your vagina environment? Your vagina. Your vagina.

Your ecosystem. My vaginal environment becomes more alkaline. Yeah. Interesting. Anyway, so he fills it with... More yogity. Thanks you. Fills it with, uh, with baby urine and then just does the test.

And they just think that's him. Mike Tyson did it as well, didn't he? Yeah. It's a classic. It's called the weird. There's aeusinator. This device is big in the 80. So it must be the precursor to the Shiwi. Yeah. Yeah, I think they've been repurposed.

So now they're stopping, how do they get around that now? I think now you have, maybe you have to do it in front of them or... So hang on, maybe someone has to have a little tug on it just to make sure. Like checking for wigs or anything. Yeah, quick search. But if he's using a fake penis, he must be doing it in the same room as the person running the text. Yeah, yeah. Because he does it after the... Oh, what, jumping ahead.

Or he wants to fake penis all day. Yeah, maybe that's it. Anyway, it ends up in a museum and then someone, breaks in and nix it and it's never been found. Well, Pickles is dead. Yeah. Of course. I smell a rat.

I smell a rat. So, yeah. So in Napoli, he goes mental. He gets in with the mafia. He's doing Coke. He becomes a kind of hero. He's still, he's basically God in Natalie.

I think it's the most romantic player club combo. Yes. Because obviously they win the league under him, which they hadn't done. Yeah. I don't think they'd ever won it. No. And the UEFA Cup, I think he leaves me too as well.

The Wizzinator, the original. synthetic urine product. You can still get them. Oh my days. Discrete. Not that discreet. Let's get a bit more. Just touch and go.

So, but is this a company that sells this for, to fake a drug test? Yeah, but I'm not. Who's falling for that? No other prosthetic synthetic urine device or fake dildo matches the Wizzinator. Or fake dildo. Right. It's a multi-purpose.

It's a Swiss Army knife of a gadget. Okay, shout out to our partner. Black, brown. Latino, tan or white. Lovely. Let's have a look at, um, oh, Latino, what's Latino?

That's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not putting anyone. If I pulled that out at the drug test, I think Maradonna could,

Latino. Let's see how white, white goes. Because it's, yeah, even the whitest, yeah, to be fair,

they've nailed it. They've nailed it. They're, they know what they're doing. So that's an extraordinary company. That's our partner for this episode, the Wisenator Touch. What's the RRP on one of them?

$129. It's steep, but you know. If that gets you to keep your job at... Of course. It's cheap. That's out there. Shout out, Wizzinator. They also do. They do flashlights as well.

Of course they do. They do a whole range of stuff. What are we... So is this website? Is it a sex thing or a drug testing? No, I don't think. It's shagging. Just chuck in a flashlight.

Just chuck in a flashlight. Because Baradonna was doing a lot shagging that as well. Of course. And apparently, according to one mistress in Napoli, his thing... was he like to suck their big toe. Yeah, makes sense. He's a wrongman.

He's an absolute wrong. It's unusual. Yeah. For me for a footballer, maybe that's his. I reckon Chris Sutton and Gareth Southgate are fleshlighting before games. Yep. No shaggings a lot, but you can fleshlight. With your socks on.

Full kit. Shinn pads, fleshlight. As quickly as possible. It's about my own relationship with my own fleshlight. One of my favorite videos is Garry Southgate, when they talk about, they're interviewing all the villa team about... The drinks, yeah, and they're all like, oh yeah, I have ten pints of the weekend,

I like a rum and coke, and they get to South again and goes, well, I'll mainly drink water, but on the weekend, I'll have a couple of pints. I like water and stuff like that. Stuff like water. Hugo and Hayog's doing Guinness, 10 guineas or whatever. Has how you approached foreplay changed with marriage, or does it? How I approach foreplay? Tactically, tactically.

Is it more kind of no nonsense or is it more? I suppose I have got more Sam Adelaide's, yeah. I think. Whereas you used to be more total football 17s. I was a Dutchman in the bedroom.

I was a Dutchman in the bedroom yeah, of course switching positions. Sombara and flick. Overload on the right wing. You've got another guy from.

Where's he come from? That's a hired help. Yep. Substitutions. But no, now it's pretty much It's meat and potato stuff. It's gone back to the 30s really. I mean, the ideal goal will be

from a goal kick two touches. The perfect game. Touch. Bang. at gay men's no-nil. Neither rest are coming. Neither of us are coming. No one comes. We're able to go, we go to sleep. It's possession-based sex. It is.

Hold on to it. Hold on to the orgasm. Don't let them have her. Don't let them. They can't have one. If you have one, they can't have one. Come as early as possible. And then they can't have one. And then you win. You shut up shot. Get it into the corner flag. But that, I mean, shove you're looking at a toe or something. No, no. Run the clock down.

Mind it down. Maradonna becomes great friends with Fidel Castro in 1986. They're similar fellas, though. They are. Is that a photo of him with bleached hair? Christ didn't know he had it. He's got a massive tattooed hair. This is quite a big Coke face.

The bleached hair. Yeah. It's quite large, though. So Maradonna is a... But he's got a godlike... He's got... Can you get out of the screen? Fidlastro.

It's not good. It's not good. It does it not work. It does not. work. Fidel Astro. Fidel Astro. It does not work.

Fidel Aström. Fidel Aström. But also, we didn't say he was having anal. It doesn't make sense. Charlie put on the screen, did Fidel Castro like anal? Because he wanted us to set him up

for a pun that was Fidel Astrow. Yeah, there was no tidbit or fact that Fidel liked anal. He was pissing himself back there. Absolute idiot. It does not work. It does not work. Ordochastrate, baby?

Not even. It's not related to anything. There's nothing we were talking. Anyway. Belacostra came in this story about five seconds. Let's get, let's get to 86.

Now, in 86, Colombia were meant to host the World Cup, but their economy went through the floor because of the, like, the FARC, drug wars. Fark in hell, mate. What the FARC in L, mate? We got no fucking money. What's the FAR?

It's called FARC, isn't it? Fuck. The guerrillas. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck this. Oh, fuck. I'm going to vast.

Fucking hell. We can't. We've got no fucking stadiums. Fuck. With a sea. Colombia. What is it? What is it?

It's the guerrillas. It's the guerrilla army and stuff. Anyway. Fucking hell. They, it's the first time that a company, first time a country's won the World Cup and then resigned from hosting it. Because they just couldn't do it. so Mexico

Mexico take it again I quite rate that though please don't have it do it no I can't do my too fucking fucking it's a another iconic not today it is another icon one of the first iconic not today's

was the Egyptians in 1930 missed the boat not today not this month no not this month not this World Cup and then again yep Colombia can't handle it

so can you put it on I can't be bothered yeah can you I don't we have to do it. I'm so hot. Now, Mexico had a massive earthquake just before Mexico.

5,000 people died. And then the Mexican government basically used the World Cup to mask their own faces. This is every World Cup pretty much. In disaster relief. Yeah. So the key geopolitical tension is in the quarterfinal between England and Argentina. This is like dad law. Yes.

My dad still goes on about it. My dad calls Maron a fucking cheating bastard. Yeah. My dad and my uncle would still talk about this. In the same conversation about like the war. Yeah. They talk about this as if it they fought. As if it was a theater in the war.

Them watching this was like them fighting on a DJ bitch. No, you don't get it. You didn't see it. I could see on live. He touched it. Live. So, um,

the Argentina, this is retribution for the Falklands. Right. Whereas for England, it's just, you know, surely it's retribution for us yeah

I mean you fucking invaded Maradona said in his autobiography it was like beating a country not a football team although we had said before the game football had nothing to do with the Maldinas war

we knew they'd kill a lot of Argentine boys there killed them like little birds and this was revenge you started it get off our southern border okay so now there were tensions

from the off right within the crowd people are like I mean, we're going for it. Yeah. Yeah. But this is what the World Cup's all about, though, isn't it? Yeah.

Fighting a war on a football pitch. Well, that's what Jules Rameh, who founded it, it fought in the First World War and he was trying to make a cipher for wars. It's like an outlet. Yeah. No, it's another theatre of war. It's not a theatre. Yeah.

Let's open up a new front. Yeah. You completely misunderstood it, Jules. Fuck off. It's about reinforcing existing wars. Yes, exactly. Yeah. I think Carlos Tevez's dad or uncle was it, was at, was fought in the world.

the Falklands and as a result Tevez refused to ever learn English when he was at Maddie Knight He lived in England for like nine years I just never heard of him just a spy I mean Tevez is kind of quite a fascinating player right because he seemed to hate football But we're talking ugly players

He's pretty obvious he's pretty hideous He loved going to Disneyland Yeah he's a simpleton Yeah but he just like would He just hated football He never seemed to even though he's an unbelievable player He just hated playing He loves Peaky Blinders

That's the one time he'll speak English as to say by order of the peeky blinders. So there are these two iconic moments in the same game. The first is that someone kicks the ball in the air. Steve Hodge. And then Maradonna fucking punches it

into the goal. And Maradona is 5 foot 5 and Peter Shilton in goal is over 6 foot. And he gets out jumped. I mean, you can see the photo of it now. It's clear as day. Yet another war crime to add to the list.

First they invade Port Stanley, then they punched the ball into the bet. Who's the referee? Who's the referee? What nation is the referee? Let's have a look at that. Come on. Who is officiating the 86 game?

Straight up. Our dad's watching that game, isn't it? Where's the ref from? Ali Bin Nasser from the Tunisia. The Tunisian ref. Bin Laden. Bin Laden is refereed. You know my mate lives next to the Bin Laden's in Dorset,

apparently? A lot of the Bin Laden's in Dorset. Are you sure to him? The Vin-Lardons? Yes. No, it's the Bin Laden's. The Bin Laden's live in Dorset. My mate Charlie is neighbours with the Vin-Lardins in Dorset.

What do they do in Dorset? They're pretty nice, yeah. One of them's like a sort of like Insta influencer, hotty, isn't she? Yeah, and one of them is a painter, like an artist. They're like an aristocratic. I know they're a rich Saudi family, yeah. But they just like to go to the beach. Yeah, and this is like, he was like one of 12.

If one of them's like a terrorist, like you shouldn't be judged for what your siblings do. No. You're allowed to live in Dorset as a building. I feel like we just, I feel like we just, rehabilitating bin Laden out of nowhere people listening to the story of the World Cup and go well let's just rehabilitate him he is well one out of the 12 I guess you buy 12 eggs one of them and be smashed

anyway so Maradonna punches the ball into the net the Tunisian ref I was going to say is I really like it there's a particular type of dad who can't mention a ref without the nationality it's my dad's first question yeah where's every game where's the refs this game's void yeah he's Tunisian yeah you know what I like Tunisian rest. You know what they're like. You remember that big stare at a lot.

Yeah. What are the Tunisians like, Dad. What do they do? Minutes later, he scores what is undeniably the goal of the century, which you should get on, because it is pretty glorious, where he runs 60 yards, basically the hope from his own heart, from his own half, beats everyone. And let's get some Argentine in commentary out. Sorry, excuse me, that's cheating.

It feels like, it feels like it's like the British defence is incredibly polite. Yeah, it's sort of like the organ, yeah. Sorry, can I squeeze past? Can I just stop you right there? No, sorry, excuse me. Come back, please, come back. No, I'm not finished talking to you.

Sorry, that's, are you allowed on this floor? Now, could we just replay the commentary and instead play footage of the Brits taking Port Stanley, please. Just for the listeners at home, I'd like to see Britain entering Port Stanley in June 82. Flag raised.

Just play that, Charlie. Just play that. And then put the sound of the Argentinian commentary on. Lovely stuff. Glorious to watch. And another one. He's got past another one. Oh, look at that.

Absolutely. Because they tend to the wounded. They tend to the wounded. Yeah. Oh, helicopter. It's a bit of a fun one. England, Argentina is a bit of a fun one. Yeah.

Unexpected. It's just like it's a bit of a like... And the football keeps happening as well, 98. Yeah. It's fun just like, I guess we hate the Argentinians. Yeah. Who do thank it? Having a random rival.

Yeah. It's nice. Did you want Argentine to win the World Cup with Messi? Yeah, I did. So how much does your hatred for Argentina way up against you? I didn't. Do you not because of this? Because I can't forgive.

I like that, so that's a real. I know that. I respect that. No, you have to, Messi's transcendent. Jack watched that final with his back turn. Paul Golding. He's watching Eastenders. Yeah, but what?

Let the French win. That was a complicated one, because he also got the 100 years war, which I haven't really really, I haven't really, I haven't really, I haven't really, I've got over that. I go over that. Exactly.

Supporting guitar, that tournament. Yeah, exactly. Football won that tournament. No, yeah, I, but that was one of the great footballing finals. But also what I liked about that final is that so this era and Maradonna's the same as Pelle is this was where

a player would could win the World Cup almost on their own or at least the narrative of like you've ascended to the football gods because you won the World Cup. Maradonna's World Cup. Maradonna's World Cup. Pelle's World Cup. Moseolini's World Cup. You've set it to the Pantheon of the Greats. And you said Messi

Yeah but by the time Messi won it that that story was gone because you couldn't do that anymore because it's more about the Champions League, whereas Messi winning the World Cup felt like when I was watching footage from the 1970 World Cup and it felt like a sort of true sporting narrative. It also felt like... Close to like true

history watching it live. It felt so historic. Because Salt Bay was there. Exactly. Literally this moment it's so emotional greatest game ever within 10 seconds. Salted the trophy. And then the guy... And you're brought back to earth and you realize

God, everything is crap. And then was it that Women's World Cup where the head of the FAA started kissing the players. Yeah. Right after that. She was giving them the eyes. Yeah. Yeah. What were they wearing?

What were they wearing? Football. Football. Football kit. You can't be doing that. Red back to a ball. Come on. And his mother, as is Luis Rabales.

His mother went on the lowest stake hunger strike of all time. Yeah. The shortest hunger strike of all. Yeah. She went in church. She was a hunger strike for maybe 10 hours. Not even sure she missed a meal, actually. That's just intimate and fast.

She hung a hunger strike between breakfast and lunch. It's very healthy, actually. And I won't be able to, I can't do this anymore. I can't do this. Please. So, yeah. Now, Argentina go on to win the World Cup in 86, a disgrace. But again, Maradonna, it's a new trophy.

When's the new trophy coming, is it? For 86? No, Brazil is in 1970, I think. That's the... I said it's been a new trophy since then. The pick of him holding the trophies. Yeah, it is great. It's a...

And then Maradonna's story, to finish that off because he uh when does he retire from football he gets it all goes wrong in naples he he sort of loses protection from the authorities and he fails a drug test flees to argentina where he's then bust he gets banned from football for 15 months does he fail a drug test during a game I think it's after a game I think he's a celebration in the next year in 1990 or 94 in 94 he gets led off yeah because in celebration he's like yeah he's going to Because they drug test him after the Hand of God game as well. Yeah.

And apparently he admits it to whoever's the England player called for the test, he says. Yeah. Wasn't it, um, wasn't the England player Steve Hodge who then got his, got his shirt? Yeah. They, uh, they, uh, um, so Steve Hodge, like, yeah, they got called in for the drug testing. Maradona's obviously, like, smug as fuck. He's just a handballed it in. And he asks him for his shirt and he's like, I'll just keep this.

Goes back to the England dressing room. Obviously everyone is like, fucked off that. he's got married he got the fucking little cheating weasels shirt and a few years

ago he sold it for what was it $7 million $9 mil is he doing it because he loves cocaine or is he doing it to be better at football

he starts like that I think it's loving he loves cocaine yeah it doesn't help it's not for the game I mean you're not you're not doing cocaine because you love football

no I just love cocaine you love cocaine I think that's the thing with cocaine is it's not more alternative is it before is enhancing as a producer

doing the concoction of drugs you do on the weekend I think it's hurting my performance yeah I'd say it is get the big bag on Yeah, I think so. But yeah, he then goes to Argentina and they bust him with like 500 grams of Coke.

Yeah, it's a ridiculous. And he gets a bag of flour. Yeah, he gets a slap on the wrist. Right, of course. Now, when he goes back to, now, Italian 90, this is where Maradonna falls foul of the Napoli crowd, because he basically splits Italy in two. He basically makes it like a north-south thing by saying to the Napoli long, the North hate you.

It says Naples isn't Italy. Yeah. And so they support him because he's just won them the league. Yeah, he's God. Yeah, he is God. So that means that when there's a game in Naples or in the south against Italy, a lot of the Italian fans are supporting Argentina. Wow.

There's a semi-final. They're like scousers, aren't they? They are. Naples are the scousers against me. Yeah. Yeah. And they do a poll of most hate, worst villain of the 20th century in northern Italy, and he wins it by miles.

Yeah, Hitler's like distant fifth. Well, it's northern Italy. Yeah, exactly. Italy. So, Italian 90 is kind of England's great rehabilitation because the 80s have been dogged by hooliganism, which we're going to be talking about on the Patreon. There's a lot of stadium disasters. Some funny than others.

This is the more romantic. This is the more romantic. This is the best World Cup, isn't it? One of them. I think it's considered the most fun. Right. Because you've got the Maradonna story. Cameroon.

England do well. Yeah. Cameron. Roger Miller is there. Roger Miller. What a player. Inventic celebrating. But this is when African teams, like, they throw off the shackle to the Zaire thing

and then Cameroon actually perform well. Yeah. It's the beginning of Germany ruin it by winning on penalties, though. Yeah. Is it the least corrupt one so far? No, because the mafia get all the government contracts and build all the stadiums. And, yeah, it's a complete racketeering job. So the money that FIFA gives to Italy basically goes all into the Italian underground economy.

like the Italian economy. The Italian economy. Yeah. You're right. In a way I like that though, I think it's a bit more sort of, it's Italian, it's very high-span. Yeah. Compared to like the corruption today, which is just like state-sponsored stuff.

Just, you know, good, good, just some sort of hardworking, Don Corleone types. Small corruption as opposed to big corruption. Yeah, I guess there's more, it's more romantic in Italy because if you're not corrupt in Italy, why are you going to Italy? We all like the godfather. Yeah. You know, we all like a holiday once in a while. Yeah.

Go to Italy. I don't think you could do the godfather with Giann Infantino doesn't really work as well Today on I am gay You come to me on the day of my gay My day daughter's wedding My disabled daughter's wedding My migrant workers

Daughter's wedding Don Gianni So it's known for like The Gazas tears obviously And Linneka does a big sloppy pool the pitch which is what he was going to name

his production company really called a goal hanger yeah I think that's better he was going to be called big sloppy

prolething for sorry shit on the pitch or being a goal hanger yeah oh tough

yeah yeah anyway um anyway that's when marodona loses his protection

from the Italian authorities because they're so angry at him for dividing Italy they're like right fuck this guy

yeah rip the whizanator off let's have a proper test so by the end of the 80s 1990, Italian 90s like football is undeniably big business now.

England fans are rehabilitated. Television means the whole thing's watch globally. The tournament's value no longer lies in the prestige, but in its commercial and geopolitical influence. And it's about to enter its most lucrative age, the 90s, and probably the most

nakedly corrupt era. That's why I'd say the journey is. Or is there just more cameras now? Well, yeah, I'd say... Imagine this 4K cameras, but it's Mussolini's World Cup. That's what I mean. Yeah.

There was like, instead of like, there's four photos of the entire 1928 World Cup. Yeah. Like, that's why it's not naked. Yeah. Imagine the shit they were getting away with. I mean, there was that one game when the referee was playing basically up front for the other team. No, the referee intercepted a part. Yeah.

Yeah. Just basically just, yeah. Um, so we're going to carry on the story, uh, in our final part. We're on the Patreon. The Upshot Boys are going to stick around for our exclusive episode on hooliganism. Or rather they already have because now it's Monday and they did that last. been done. We don't know what's happened. They've already stuck around. We can only apologise.

Incredible. Join the Patreon and also watch the upshot. Check it out. Great podcast. What are some great episodes you've done? What are your most popular? That lottery one? Lottery one. That's a Patreon one. The lot of out. That's an absolutely favourite. I came on to talk about Kevin Peterson. Really enjoyed it. Ingrams.

Who he did. Now, you're telling me that he listened to that episode. Yeah, apparently Kevin Peterson listened to the episode. And he's not known, he's quite thin-skinned. It's old KP. Not known as a laugh, KP. But no, I haven't been switch hit out of the studio yet. No, is it KP didn't say his views on the episode? No, I saw, I bumped into this guy who his mates with Kevin Pearson

said that he'd watched it. I think he said he enjoyed it. England's asshole genius. And then we just did a Roman Abramvich one that's gone down very well because his story is mental. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Ninety's rushing.

What did you talk about Charlie when you went on? Robin Friday. Yeah, the LSD footballer sort of hippie guy. Doing ass and impaling his house. I say my favourites are snooker. The Golden Major Snooker and Darts, 80s. We should get you back on to do Golden Major Snoke. Yeah, the Snooker.

Unbelievable. I love snooker. And then obviously we're doing a lot of World Cup stuff. Yeah, we're going to be doing a lot of that. Are you going out? You're going out, blah. I've cancelled. Because of the prices.

Yeah, just, you know, taking a stand against the policy. No, no, we just, we realised that we could just stay at home and eat a hot dog and then just set fire to $150 and have similar experience. We do, so we do an episode every week that's sort of the funniest stories this week. so there's a lot of gossip coming through about Yeah, I mean you guys are, you're kind of bringing gossip back to straight men. Gossip and scandal and their life stories. You are, you are...

It's straight man gossip. Yes, it's like you are carrying on the tabloid era. Because the tabloid, the golden age of the tabloid is dead. It's no longer the two-hastings. Yeah, we're scouting every night. Yeah, we're scatly hacks. We're doing your bins. Gotcha.

Yeah. When the freedom pletilla was captured by the Israelis... Gotcha. Stick out me a junta. That's what these guys doing. Brilliant. A brilliant pod. Check out the upshot.

Anything to plug. Just generally Where can people find it? Spotify, Apple, YouTube At Upshot Whatever you find your podcast Whatever you get your podcasts And if you're on the Patreon

Remember, we are doing A live alternative commentary In a grudge match Game of the Century The Big One The Rumble in the jungle Switzerland versus Bosnia It will get spicy

It will get spicy We'll make sure it gets spicy It's quite because they've got a lot of Albanians Yeah you get real sort of sectarian terror white on white violence and it's live on the 18th of June on the Patreon. We'll be doing that live. That will go out as the that week's Patreon episode.

We'll carry on the World Cup story next time. For now, thank you, boys, to the upshot. Thanks to come here. We'll see you next time. Bye-bye.