Fin vs History - Going Back In Time To Smush Hitler’s Cheeks | The Battle of Little Big Horn (Part 4/4

Episode Date: April 16, 2026

Join us for our final part in our epic Battle of Little Big Horn series. Apologies to anyone named Matty listening.     The Battle of Little Big Horn (Part 4)   The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened.   For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon  ⁠patreon.com/fintaylor  This episode of Fin vs History is brought to you by Surfshark.     Secure your privacy with Surfshark! Enter coupon code FVH for an extra 4 months at https://surfshark.com/fvh  Chapters: 00:00 - oi oi shaggants 06:27 - Mug Of Cum 11:57 - Don’t Kill Yourself 18:30 - #CancelCrazyHorse 24:12 - The Custard Avengers 27:26 - Bad man 33:00 - Gun Down A Busker 36:48 - The Travelling Circus Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome back, faties. To part four of our Custer series. We're here with Neverful, throwing poo. I'm joined a poo. Eating pies, throwing poo, and specky four eyes. We're here, and Custer's been slain. Colonel mustard's gone. Colonel mustard's been...

He's been hit by a candlestick. The Conservatory, the Camseagabas arse. And it's the aftermath of the battle of the... little big horn and it's listen America's got a bloody nose and they always they overreact yeah they don't react well to a bloody nose

no they really don't why are they so fucking tetchy they are tetchy so jumpy I think it just doesn't really work with their view of themselves basically this is America you poke them and they go fucking what yeah 10 years of war exactly so this is the long road to Afghanistan

Iraq Iwo Jima you can you know it's all it all starts here who's Ewojima No, no, sorry. No, Ewo Jima is not a, no, that's an island of the Pacific. Don't get too excited for World War II Pacific series. My God.

It's a while away. We're working on a while away. Let's get through the western front first. Anyway, we're talking about the aftermath of Little Big Horn and what happens after Custer's death. Now, Charlie, you've Googled Native American swear words. What have you found? I like Munya.

White person. Munoi, is white ass. Munya Chihuahua. Munoia Chihuahua. Is that slang for white ass? Is that a... Am I feeling... Am I feeling racially violated?

I hope so. Wouldn't that be amazing? I'd love to feel that. I'd love to feel... I think we're forcing it a bit, though. Yeah, it genuinely just bounces off me. The M word. The M-W.

He said it with a... The hard W. Muno. Oh, but squaw is a young woman. That's like a little... Squaw. Or cunt. Squaw.

Or shaggantz. Shish-haired. Shaggantz. means shitheads. All right shaggans. Oh, yoy! Classic shaggans.

Here he is. A bunch of shaggans. Apparently squaw is a racist and prejudice. Oh, it's slow, is it? Well, I don't want to hear any more of it. Sorry. Can I just take a minute to apologize? To all the Native American listeners.

Should we do a land acknowledgement? Let's do a land acknowledgement. Yes. Where are we? So we're in South London. Yeah. So. I would like to acknowledge that this is the land that I rent and I'm British, so I live here and it's mine.

Anyway. We're talking about how after the battle Little Bighorn, Custer is dead, and news reaches the New York a couple of days afterwards, and it's pandemonium. Right. Their hero, their celebrity, has been butchered, and the aura of impregnability has been shattered by the Native Americans. President Grant says,

I regard Custer's massacre as a sacrifice of troops brought on by Custer himself. Yeah, it was wholly unnecessary. split, right? People say Custer was arrogant and reckless. Other people think he's like a martyr, romanticising him. You know, this is the era of manifest destiny, manifesto. Well, the New York Times, I guess,

because New York Times is always trying, framing the conversation of the time it's in, they're not wokeys at this point. At this point, no, they're not. They believe in manifest destiny. They're fucking... That's the editorial policy, the New York Times, manifest destiny.

Exactly. Yeah. It's about, you know, settler cloning lists, right? So his, now Libby, his widow, whose poem was called Miss Lizzie. Excuse me. Very, very moving story. Libby, whose poem was called Miss Lizzie,

she now becomes a professional widow. She's paid for it. Basically, she writes Custer's biography. She mythologizes him. She makes him into an American hero. She writes three books. Goes on speaking tours. I'm obsessed with these women.

I think it's such an interesting career almost, I went to see Singing the Rain. You know singing the rain? Yeah. It was presented by Gene Kelly's wife. Right. Right. But then she was about 60 years old.

Nice. So it was like, this is a film that came out in the 50s, I believe. Nice. Kelly was a doubt. Everyone was sitting there just thinking, hang on, how's this work? We're just working out the time period.

Just doing that 60, 50. And he died like 10 years ago. And basically, she was his third wife. and she married him when she was in her 20s and he was, I think, 82. And so she was only with him for the last three years. She wanted that gig.

Yeah, and now she's been touring his film for the last 15 years, taking her out. But she was a massive super fan as well. Yeah. So she was basically just like one of our patrons coming through.

And so you're on your deathbed, you have a patron basically wanks you off to your grave. Yeah. And then takes all your archive around with him, you know, for the next 20 years. Well, we're doing a Q&A speaking tour

after the podcast ends when I'm dead. Well, you're like 80. Right. We've been doing this podcast. And I marry a patron. Who's wearing a t-shirt at the wedding ceremony. Wank me off.

In a deathbed. Ranking you to death. Yeah. Because you're right at the end. And I'm surrounded by Nazi memorabilia that the patron have given me. By the way, I've been offered Himmler's milk jug.

And are you... I'll see some photos. I mean, I often have him as milk jug. So jugs. But yeah, I imagine then he'd take your archive, the Finn Taylor estate. Yeah. And sort of do like... Christ the Fin Taylor estate.

For 20 years he's taking it around. He's technically Finn's husband. I'd like to do a presidential library kind of thing. Oh, right. So you invest in like a public... Public records. Well, like a park, the Finn Taylor Park. Not park, no.

People like Charlie all shit in it. I don't know a park. A presidential library. Or it's a library where you can't be quiet. you have to shout. So it's really hard to work him. Right. So Custer had left Libby with a lot of gambling debts because he was a big gambler,

which I don't know if we talked about or not, but the rest of history did fucking 11 episodes on this. Yeah, because he also tried his luck in the stock exchange, blew loads of his money. So when he was going out, part of the reason he was under such urgency to get Little Big Horn done as well is because he needed a big win. He needed to make his money back.

He was up against it. So he could go and speak as the hero of the American Indian Wars. Yeah. They want to be Blair in Kazakhstan. Yeah. Totally. God, the Blair Docks so good. Oh, the Blair Dock's so good.

It's so, fuck it. It fires me up. Thank you. When he rolls his sleeves up and he goes into Kosovo. Yeah. And you can just see the monster. You can see the ego escape from now. What's this?

Is this, what's going on here? Is this some, Marrando? Brando and, yeah. When he sent her up. So this is an Oscar where Brando accepted the Oscar by sending up a, she's called, She's such a little feather And she's an Apache

Apache's the most brutal ones Or is that the Comanche? The Comanche are the most violent ones I didn't know I don't actually know She looks lovely She does Yeah

She doesn't have violent Well they wouldn't send an ugly one up I think No Because it Yeah No but I mean like violent ways They wouldn't said

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Custer is in debt when he dies, so Libby just becomes a professional widow and essentially mythologizes him. She alone makes him. makes him... Towards his estate. Yeah, basically, as we've said. Right, what have you found?

Come on then. Come on. Leslie Lemon. World War II veteran from Aylesbury. Credited his long life to eating custard and rhubarb daily. And he believed in eating it cold or in a trifle, often stating that you can't beat it. He passed away.

He passed away only last year. Leslie Lemon. Stop eating all that custard. If you're 106, it's like do whatever you've been doing that. Mark of custard. Every day. 106. Fuck me.

Do you think he's going to have a young wife who's touring his estate? Like a 21-year-old piece who, you know, is with him for the last three years. The custard estate. Yeah. God, imagine sucking off Leslie Lemon though. Sounds like custard. Well, yeah, it must do, actually. Fuck me.

Imagine having him sucks off right now. Imagine having his custard in your mouth. Christ. Jesus. Does it come change as you get older, or is it always, is it, is it, is it the cum of a 25-year-old man? At the end it comes out like dust. Yeah. Someone had a joke about how

when you get to 80, it's like a little white flag comes out, surrenders. Yeah, supposedly. If you smack a tube cushion, really hard. Oh,

the Bakelou line. Yeah. And just fucking centuries of dust comes out. But I wouldn't know, Charlie. I wouldn't know. Nor would I. The only cum I've tasted is my own by mistake.

Have you tasted your own cum? Well, no. but I've, you know, I've... I've had a double. I've kissed women after they've been down there, truffling. And you get a sense of what it might taste like. So you've got a sense of it? I've got a sense of it.

Also, there's those bushes that smell like cum, and I can put two and two together. You've had tried your own... Whereas you've actually drunk the stuff. You're Leslie Lemon, but for cum, you're drinking custard every day. A mug of it. Yeah, you have a mug of cum every day. And you go, you can't beat it.

I'm going to live to 1506. You can't beat a mug of... I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if you lived to 100 and... You can't be a mug of calm every day. Mug your cum every day. This is you. 106 podcast veteran in a chair drinking a mug of cum every day.

Still producing this pot. Yeah. Anyway, what became of the 7th Cavalry? Crucially. Crucially. Now, the 7th Cavalry had been decimated, of course, but it was brought back into service just a few months later.

And Terry, our friend John Terry, leads a recruitment drive to hunt down the Lecoving along the little Missouri River. Now quite quickly after the battle, the Native American scatter, but very quickly, they then separate.

And if they had stayed as a village, they might have had some kind of leverage. Yeah, well, they would have delayed they never spoke about two years probably. Yeah, because... Together Strong. Yeah. Well, who's that?

On own week. Together Strong wasn't there yet. Okay. He comes into the story later. So at some point, they go back to Washington, the army, and they're like, we need a fucking, we need everyone. We need the whole army to come and take down these. Newk the cunts.

Nuke the cunts now. Newk Peru. That's where they're from. Fuck it. So the life of the Sioux basically just becomes, get these fuckers onto a reservation. So in August 1877, the government added the sell or starve clause to the Indian Appropriations Act, which nullifies the four. Fort Laramie Treaty, which had been void anyway, the Black Hills thing, it stops rations

on to the Sioux reservations until they stop fighting and surrendered the Black Hills. So what I didn't quite realize is that you've got people who are just like minding their own business, roaming about, shooting bison, and they're forced to go to centre parks and to live off the rations of the American government, which is very weird for like a libertarian country to be like, no, you have to live off the state. And we're also not going to provide one for you. it's mad. But also, I mean, not to get too political, but it's like the support of Israel,

it is like, obviously America needs to back that because it's the same methods that they've used. I think you should leave politics out of this. Sorry, yeah, of course. It's irrelevant. The US government after the Battle of Little Big Horn, they go for a policy of total annihilation. Native children are taken from their families

and made to follow strict rules. Children are given white names, which is very sad. Because these guys have some of the best names. They got the best names. So, you know, sitting on... Standing Rock is fucking John Sam's. Sitting on man's face becomes, you know, Neil. And it's just not...

Yeah, Nigel. Nigel. Nigel Williams. That's not very... That's not a very gay name, though. Oh, right. Oh, you mean, the gay white name? Yeah.

Well, there's not really gay white names because gay white people... Mattie. Matty's pretty... But normally it's like... I'm no longer Matt. I'm Estevan. Do you know what I mean?

What? It's always like they're always good. Yeah, I'm, I'm new now. I'm actually Jose. I'm not Joe, I'm Jose. It's funny, you just reminded me when I went to that wedding. I went to a wedding. I got sat next to a gay man called Diego,

a bit of fun, whoever did the seating plan. Anyway, a lovely guy. He didn't, you know, he didn't click, but he was a nice enough guy. He didn't know anyone. You know when you get stuck next to someone who doesn't know anyone. So you're like, okay.

Anyway. You're getting on. Getting off. They're getting on. It's nice. And then I had a lot. He wasn't drinking. I wasn't getting off with Diego.

He, we, he wasn't drinking and I was absolutely hammering it. Because we got, we got all these shots in between courses. You said he took an audience of you. Wait. We got these shots in between courses for the speeches. And I did all of his because he wasn't drinking. But you did. And anyway, it got to the pudding, right?

And my lizard brain kicked in. And I was just so drunk and hungry that I ate the pudding and essentially like, two bites. And while I'm eating it, like, faster than anyone else is eating their pudding, he's looking at me. You know the way, um, you know the way Zane Lowe looks at Fred again? Like that. I'm just like, oh, well, man, he's there like, oh, oh, God.

Oh, fuck. Oh, wow. Let him cook. Everyone's looking at me like, fuck me. You're eating that quickly. So when you say your lizard brain. My brain. My fat brain kicked in.

And I just ate pudding like so, like it was antisocial how quickly I ate pudding. And he was looking at me like, we've just been having a polite conversation then, fuck for me. Like a dog. Like an animal would come out. Like he looked away and he looked back and there was a golden retriever there. Yeah, the snake. And then he let me eat his pudding. I'm just not to you.

I'm fucking bet he did. I did not eat someone's ass. You mean mine ain't yours? No. anyway so the yeah the Indian kids are given white names very sad they're banned from using native languages

very sad becomes John Smith very sad sorry very sad is now John boys had to have their hair cut and they were sort of cut off from their family and by the time they returned home the children can only speak English and they're alienated from their tribes and the children are subject to

sexual abuse I don't know why that's relevant Phoebe I don't know why you put that in there it's a comedy podcast it's five sake And that happens here. That's just normal. That's our thing. That's our thing. Yeah.

We're trying to get them to be Protestant. Yeah, it's a boarding school. It's called being white. It's a white boarding school. It's a fagging. It's just fagging. Yeah, exactly. Malesting the man.

The boy. So the Doors Act, 1887, this basically turns all native own land into plots, as in farm plots for individual native families. Right. They're trying to stop them being nomads and start them being farmers. Put some roots down. And these guys are like, but we're not, we don't have roots. We're digital nomads.

And this is during your favorite period of racial science, but this is social, because what's often forgotten because of World War II is that social Darwinism as a philosophy was massive in America. Huge. It gets a bit washed because they were anti-fascist during World War II. As we discovered. They said all that stuff, they put it into the Nazis because we all agreed Nazis are bad. Yeah.

But America was like the king for that shit. Do not forget there was charity eugenics foundations. You would be running a marathon. You do charity gigs a lot more. I would do charity gigs every day of my life for the American Eugenics Foundation. You did a charity gig last night. Who was it for? A children's hospice.

Fuck off. Yeah, I know. Gay. In the 1890s, please. In the 1890s, you would be running a marathon, who you're running it for? Oh, it's the, little charity that wants to sterilise people with Down syndrome. Let me sponsor you.

I'll sponsor you £100. You're doing the Lord's work. Yeah. That's what a charity men. The fun run, you know. Yeah, that's a fun run. You know, this is what charity men in the 1890s. And obviously, as we discussed in the eugenics episode series,

the Nazis copy and paste some American eugenics policies. And that becomes the Nuremberglo. But a huge amount of the moral justification for this, it's not even a moral justification, it's just sort of like a historical inevitability, right? That they're like, the bigger race kills, smaller race. Civilisation wins out over the less civilised in their words. Because it's pretty hard to like,

they are just, you know, hunting on the planes and it's kind of hard to justify it apart for the fact that it's like, well, we're going to build trains and you have to get out of the way. Get out of the trains. Sorry, brother. Yeah. Which is bad, but also historically is kind of

Sort of true. Train, train, the train will. The train's coming. They're not going to stop. They're not going to build trains around the... No. It's coming, brother. Get out of the way of the train.

Yeah. Don't stand on the platform. I hate it when people jump in front of a train. It's rude. Christmas time. Glad. I know it's a sad time of you. Yeah.

Or at least not a peak times. Like that's fucking... No, because part of the... Well, yeah, don't kill yourself. Just fucking do it somewhere else. If you want my pity for killing yourself. Be like a cat. Take yourself off into a forest and die.

Yeah. Yeah. Or don't kill yourself or whatever. You know, just don't get in my way. Someone's gone soft. He's lost his touch. Yeah. Don't kill yourself.

Anyway. The father's changed you. It has. You know what it has. I'm a big softy now. Telling our listeners not to kill themselves. So the Dawes Act. Now, the officials believe that natives wouldn't make good use of the land,

so they gave them shit land. saving the better land for the white guys. Huit. The Huatts. To be fair, the Huatts knew how to farm. They open boarding schools that are for Indian kids, Native American kids, and basically try and make them American to, quote, kill the Indian and save the man.

Right. Not my words. Also my words, sometimes. Regularly. So native ownership of land is reduced from 138 million. acres in 1887 to 48 million acres in 934. Still sounds like quite a lot. But the

near extinction of the buffalo in 1880 means that the Sue's way of life is in 10 years it's just gone. So the use of the buffalo and the bison interchangeably but they are different, right? They mean bison. But the Americans call them buffalo. In the same way Indians are not Indians. It's the exact same thing.

That's a big cow? Exactly. Right. No. Americans as we know. Look at that Indian on that cow. Exactly. The Americans can't name anything. That's why all their cities are New York or Hampshire. Yeah. Christ.

Yeah, all these miserable place. Yeah. Why have you picked the worst places? Yeah. New Portsmouth. Yeah. Christ. Imagine.

Manchester by the sea. Yeah. Christ. Don't try and clots it up. The act also made it possible for Native Americans to get citizenship if they accept the land allotments and they adapt to civilized life. Yeah. Right? So this also introduces a blood quantum,

which means people have to prove that they're more than half native by blood to be declared Indian. So what happens to our friends, Crazy Horse and Sitting Bull? Crazy Horse surrenders himself to the army. And now he, his story is quite sad. So he refuses to go on a reservation.

He will not go to Centre Park, says cunt. And rather, he's like me, actually. I'd rather just hand myself to the army. I'm not going anymore. It was very stressful. And he's in custody. And then someone grabs him from behind trying to restrain him to take him, I think they're going to take him to Florida maybe.

Then he has a little knife and he attacks his guard. And then a US guard just bayonets him in the back. And then they're like, when you lie in the bed and he's like, no, I'm not lying on the bed. I'm going to lie on the floor. And he just bleeds out on the floor because on the floor, he's not like their property on the bed, you know? Yeah, it's very moving and poetic.

He said, bury me at wounded knee. He must have because that's that book about. this whole thing is called bury me at wounded knee. Well, we'll get to wounded knee. So Sitting Bull does the opposite of that. He becomes an Instagram influencer. Yeah. He goes to Canada.

Yeah. Because in Canada, and this makes me feel proud, actually. Canada, they call the grandmother's land. Right. Queen Victoria. Nice. They go to the British Empire where they'll be treated better. Yeah, because they, this is one of the few things when we're like the good guys

in this because compared to the American. You say this a lot and there's more than a few things by this point. Yeah. You know? But like, they had time. for Queen Victoria. Yeah. Yeah.

The Native Americans. They got it. So he returned from Canada in 1881 because they ran out of food and he surrenders. They just gives up. And in 1885, this is extraordinary, he joins Buffalo Bills Wild West, which is like a traveling circus. Right. And so he rides around the arena in a horse and gets paid $50 a week, which is about $800 today a week. It's pretty good money.

It's decent. And he gives most of it to the poor, idiot. Woke. woke nonsense. At the opening ceremony, the Northern Pacific Railway, he allegedly told the audience, quote, I hate all white people, your thieves and liars. You've taken away our land and made us outcasts.

Well, that's racist. That is racist. And if I was in that audience, I'd be tweeting, said, cancel crazy horse. Or whatever it's called. Sitting Bull, the other one. The translator changed the speech to praise the railroad, and the crowd loved it. Clever. Sure got this guy at the BAFTAs.

Now, in the late 1880s, he's on a reservation and he hates it because at this point food's running out the government aren't sending it it's like really cold he can't ride a tandem bike he can't ride yeah I mean you know there's like an elephant and a lion he's like what am I doing so

they then he then hears that there is hope finally you know his way of life's giving decimated and then he hears of this weird mad cult movement called a ghost dance like a flash mob sort of it's basically like a sort of Christian Native American

crossbreed right religious revival. It's led by a prophet named Wavoka or Jack Wilson. He has this revelation in 1889 where he claimed he had

he was died and was taken to the spirit world where the dead native people were all living happily and the land was once again teeming with bison and he met God who told him that war and suffering was ending and everything was going to go back to how it was. It's very sad actually. Yeah. And he also, they thought they don't

dancing and they um he got given a set of instructions to bring back the living and to like you know recapture the life they had and there's something about how they all well wore white shirts and the white shirts will stop bullets right so and this is how you do the dance right the people must perform a ghost dance for five consecutive days and nights every six weeks to ensure the arrival of the new world it's like a millinarian um religious cult right it's a five days in a row in six weeks on a... That's a lot of time. Now, the original vision said

you have to be pacifist towards the white settlers. Right. So you're not allowed to hurt anyone. And they must not lie, steal or fight with one another. So the Lakota, who were living under very oppressive conditions,

they interpret this with a sort of like defiant edge where they're actually a bit more violent towards the white man. Right. And they say... So the shift from like, Well, Vokas whole thing about, you know, internal renewal,

to sort of physical protection against the army. And then the media at this point are, the American media are like trying to find a villain for the last, the last bit of the Indian fight. So they're trying to justify it. Basically, they try and make this out to be a like a guerrilla campaign.

Right. Like a mad, you know, this is at the end of 40 years of like boys growing up hearing about the American Indian wars and like the savagery of the front. and stuff. This is the final bit. And by this point, the 7th Cavalry is like a new generation of men who haven't

have fought at all, but they've heard all these stories. And so they're like, oh, brilliant. There's a new bunch of mad cunts that we can go and mess up. So Sitting Bull gets arrested because they're scared he's going to join the ghost dance movement. But his son Crowfoot mocks him for surrendering. anyway, a follower of Sitting Bull who's called Catch the Bear shoots a police officer

who's called Bullhead is he called Bullhead? A police officer, what, Native American police officer? They had police officers. Naturally. Yeah. It's like when the black police officers who were involved in the violence in LA. Yeah.

It's the same sort of vibe. Right. So Bullhead gets shot by Catch the Bear and Bullhead falls and fires at Sitting Bull and then Red Tomahawks shoot Sitting Bull in the back of the head. And so there's this mad gunfire that follows and crowfoot gets killed as well, along with shiny head and sorefoot and big, headbone off, headbone off and all that.

Bearback. Bearback. Bearback dies. So Sitting Bull dies in December 1890. And following his death, Chief Bigfoot, that's his actual name. Sounds like I'm making that up. Yeah. They flee towards the Pine Ridge Reservation.

It's funny, reservation makes it, they do sound like Centre Park lodges. They all say, they all sound like, yeah, Pine Ridge. They sound lovely, actually. Pine Ridge Reservation. Now, they get intercepted by the 7th Cavalry, Custer's old regiment. Now, it should be said that,

sorry, they escort them to a camp at Wounded Knee Creek. Right. It should be said that just after Custer's death, they start a force called the Custer Avengers. Right. The Custor Avengers. Their 7th Cavalry are looking for revenge this whole time. So at this point, it's the end of December 1890.

This is, what, 14 years after Little Big Horn. We should place this. 1890. This is after Jack the Ripper. This is just after Jack the Ripper. And it's before... Hitler's an infant. Hitler's 18 months.

Hitler is just learning to walk. So it's before Hitler's second birthday. It's before Hitler's second birthday. Lovely. Yeah, it's not too bad. A toddler Hitler. You know, he's exploring things with his mouth. So if you were going to go back to kill,

if there's been time travelers who have gone back to kill baby Hitler, they might be around at this time. Yes. It's in the window that someone would go back to kill him. A steampunk nonce has gone back to 1890. And then said, I can't look at him. He's so, get baby Hitler up. Look how cute he is.

Because baby Hitler's done nothing wrong. They've done nothing wrong. Can't kill a baby. And do you think what he's going to, think what he's going to lurk at him? That could be, that kid looks about 18 months. Yeah. That could be from 18. 1890 that photo.

Pretty much. Click on that web. Let's find that when that photo is from. Blu-blub-blah. Blu-blah. Blu-blat. 18-19. He's born in 89.

Oh, no. He's born in 89. No, he's born in 1890. No. He's born in 89. Yeah, April 89. So in... This probably is.

Yeah, he's about 18 months. So this is what it looks like at the point of wooded knee. Yeah. Adorable. Adorable. Absolutely. You just want to smush his cheeks,

don't you? Blu-de-bloodin, blooddy. Do you know what Hitler's first word was? The ultimate goal must definitely be the removal of the Jews together. That's his first written statement. No, the ultimate, no, that's his first written statement in 1990. Yeah. I mean, if it was his first words, that's pretty impressive. It'd be much easier for the time for him to kill baby Hitler if baby Hitler was saying,

the ultimate goal must definitely be the removal of the Jews altogether. Yeah, no. I think he grew into his anti-Semitism. What would Hitler's Native American name be? it's a good point actually what would it be gas juice or little tash it could be little tash yeah

we're angry tash angry tash bad bad man bad man real bad man yeah angry tash is nice yeah yeah um that's not actually how hila comes into this story that's just a byproduct that's just for free that's for free that one join the patron

uh I feel we're to go in these these pro bono sort of freebies out I know. It's ridiculous. Crazy. So let's get to Wounded Knee Massacre. December 29th, 1890. The 7th Cavalry attempt to disarm Bigfoot's band.

The atmosphere is very tense. That's what Phoebe's written. How does she know? Should we do a soundscape? We haven't done a soundscape for a while. Yeah. Okay, so bear in mind, there's red Indians. There's no cowboys.

Actually, cowboys come after this, interestingly. Found that out yesterday. Oh. The Cowboys only come in when the Indians have been, decimated. A cowboy's farmers, sort of. Yeah.

Yeah. Anyway, so it's very tense and the scuffle breaks out when a deaf tribesman called Black Coyote was reluctant to surrender

his rifle. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Because he's like, he's deaf as well doing it. Well, no, he'd be doing that. Would he? Would he? I think it'd be like,

it just wouldn't sound right. It'd be like, la la la la la la la la la. Well, no, a deaf. Blah, blah, blah. Well, hang my, it's, it'd be a

because he wouldn't get the pitch right. Yeah. Yeah. Well, no, because he's not going Nen, Nen,

Nen Nez N. That's a disabled Red Indian. That's a disabled Red Indian Right. Right.

A deaf one is probably Oh, no, no, no, no no, that's a gay

one. That's a gay one. He's just chubbing it in his mouth. that sitting balls putting crazy horsecocks dick in his mouth yeah brilliant sorry about that

brilliant great stuff so anyway this episode is brought to you by FedEx these days the power move isn't having a big metallic credit card to drop on the check at a corporate lunch The real power move is leveling up your business with FedEx intelligence and accessing one of the biggest data networks powered by one of the biggest delivery networks. Level up your business with FedEx, the new power move. Anyway, this is actually very bad.

Yeah. This is bad form. Very sad. The Americans, they encircle the, you know, was it 300 Lakota, women and children. They encircle them and they have these machine guns that are like Gatling guns

but they're called something else and they just fucking they just have at them. Hot kiss mountain guns. Hot kiss is that what's called? I mean it's not cricket. We'll say that much. It's not, it's baseball.

Yeah. It's baseball and it's not as fun to watch and it doesn't need the same skill. No. Yeah, they just mow them down and they actually, because they're in a circle, they kill some of their own soldiers.

25 soldiers die from friendly fire. Fuck me. It's very sad. so all the 25 Americans died from Americans they're encircling them in a circle and they're just firing guns Christ like at you know and so 300 women and children during a ghost dance is this

yeah no there are ghost dances there and they've got white shirts on but it turns out the white shirts don't stop bullets right so is the ghost dance sort of like Gandhi with rhythm I don't know much about Gandhi. Yeah, but like the non-violence.

Yeah. It's about resistance via like resilience and non-violence, but instead your body pop and doing the caterpillar. Yes. Right. Don't shoot me. Yeah. And you're wearing a big white shirt.

Breathe. Yeah. I mean, if I had a Gatling gun and I saw that, I'd gun him down. Diversity. Oh, man. Diversity, Britain's got talent final. I would mow that down. My God.

I'm watching. Elevator Breathe Yeah If that's happening I'm in like a gun nest Like Germans on D-Day You can't

It's actually Banjo Look at this No no banjo's getting His head torn Look at this Even the little kids It's about flipping out of a rucksack No they're all dead

They're all torn Torne Torrne Sorry No they kill about 300 women and children Yeah There's no kind of

Yeah There's no two ways about it Yeah The Ghost Dance Wasn't affected Against the Hotchkiss the Hotchkiss gun and this sort of ends

it's a tough way to you know revisionist this one to be honest well at the time they were asking for well yeah I mean the guy was asked

to put his gun down several times and he kept sort of oh whatever I guess if you the only way you can view it favourably

of the Americans is a hatred of a break dancing yes that's kind of like I completely understand That's the only way you could frame this for the Americans are the heroes. Yeah, is that they're doing their best to stop the scourge of public flashmobes and breakdancing and buskers.

God, I'd love to gun down a busker. I'd love that. How would you do it? I'd machine gun them. Right. Yeah. But in the tube? Yeah, anyway.

Tube, you'd be at the top of the escalator and you'd chuck a grenade that perfectly bounces down and lands into his... hat. Like that would be the most satisfying way. As he's shredding. No, I don't, I like the shredding guys. Yeah. Son as it's good.

Accordion underground is a fucking hate crime. Whereas Wounded Knee. Wounded Knee was a battle. So Wounded Knee kind of ends, you know, the ghost dance is shown to be what it is. Load of nonsense. And this kind of ends

all resistance from the the Sioux. It's sort of symbolic of the entire. conflict right yeah it's the final but at the time they call it a battle the battle of wounded knee the army call it a massacre but all the media who had basically drum they made the ghost

dance into something it wasn't this like rebel force right they start calling it a battle and the army are like no this was a massacre we did an inquiry and stuff so so at all times the army is like this is not cricket and yet the civilians the media

who are with the army reporting on it are trying to make it into a sensational like tabloid story. No, it was fucked up what he did. No, seriously. No, it was great.

That's brilliant. Just as a little coda to the story for our thick fat listeners, the US government's tactics against the Native Americans are having an admirer across the pond.

By this point, he's man, he's flesh and bone, he's no longer a toddler. And Hitler... It's sort of Elvis to the Beatles, wouldn't you say? Yes, yeah. Taking from the States

and maybe making it a European take on Yeah, it's Beatles and Cliff Richard. So, 1928, Hitler states that the US has gunned down the millions of redskins. Hitler, that's not the... Hitler. Hitler. Adolf.

Adolf. Native American, please. Thank you. Indigenous. Christ. Sorry. I apologise for Adolf's language here. He is not of this time. Okay. Hitler, the US has gunned down the millions of redskins to a few hundred thousand and now keep the modest remnant

under observation in a cage. Now, what's interesting about that is that very quote, will be said by someone from Navarra media, maybe not the Redskins, but he's saying that as a compliment. Yes. Which is quite interesting.

The US has gone down into Redskins to a few hundred thousand, and I keep the modest revenue under observation in a cage. That sounds like you're saying it's a bad thing. Yeah. And he's like, brilliant. They're great. That's fantastic. Yeah.

And he said that the treatment of Native Americans was a model for his Labens round policy. Great album. Labens round policy. Yeah. Yeah. That was one of it. Yeah.

So also what's also, what's also, should be said that some of the Native American survivors at Wounded Knee, they get, maybe they're not even survivors. Some people who are, uh, they're Indian. Anyway,

they get, they say, they say rather than go to jail, you have to join the Buffalo Bill Wild West show. And then they fucking get made to tour, um, Europe. Fuck.

So it's diversity. But isn't it mad how it's like, the end of the war is to basically make it. into a circus. But that's America, right? Yeah. That's the American story. Exactly.

Is you have all these tribal things when you view the earth, mother, mother nature and you get captured by fat bloats with guns who make you dance in a circus. Yeah.

The difference in the culture, understanding of America. It's the gift shop. And also the, you know, Montana being this beautiful part of the world being wasted on fat idiots at a circus.

You know what I mean? Totally. You know, these people had complete respect for their landscape. It's the gift shop at the 9-11 memorial. We're going to,

We're going to do this to us and then we're going to fuck your country up. And then after 10 years of war, it's going to go back to how it was. But we'll be making money from the site that you initially desecrated on our land. Yeah. You know? Crazy. Horse. Huh?

Crazy horse. Sorry, not crazy. He's dead. Crazy horse. What was crazy horse's linked to wound a knee then? He doesn't have one. He does. He says bury me at wounded knee.

No, he didn't say that. They buried him out of wounded knee after the, after wounded knee. because that's like the symbolic end of the resistance I think anyway in 1980

representative of the sue bought a legal case against the US government and the Supreme Court for the violation of the Fort Lowry treaties and the court voted in favour of the sue

and awards them a financial settlement of $102 million which would be over a billion in today's money but the sue refused the money idiot what are you doing

take the money God it's like watching who wants to be a millionaire? They won't take half a minute. Take it. But they're not playing to get more, are they? Oh my God, it's so frustrating. They don't get it.

Just you refuse to the money remain committed to protesting their rightful ownership over the blackout. It's gone, mate. Take the money, buy some new hills. Yeah, it's set up a casino. Oh, man. It's just, we've done four parts

and they're just not learning. They don't get it. They don't get it. Anyway. So that leads us to, well, that leads us to now where it's the long road to the Native American casino.

Type of a Native American scene. Let's get some visuals. It also should be said that there was a show in Glasgow, Wild West Buffalo show, where all the actors left and then a Native American

stayed on the stage and told the audience that actually what actually happened at Wounded Knee and it was a massacre and it wasn't because they made them this is in Glasgow they made them reenact

Wounded Knee with these Native American actors and then one of them stayed on after they left the stage and told the audience what actually happened. But because he was speaking in his own language, everyone was like, ah, get to fuck.

Oh, fuck off. Fuck off. And then just threw tomatoes out and whatever. Right. Which is a nice little code at the end of the story, isn't it? But even the fact that Native Americas are now casino owners, it just, it all is like,

symbolically, it all kind of, you know, they're fucking running slot machines for people in fucking mobility scooters now. Do you what I mean? Yeah. Well, slot machine and mobility scoot are. Well, that's what,

modern Asian Americans are called well that's what I mean they're running the casino who's gone from fucking crazy horse sitting ball now it's fucking fat mobility's goose

and chubby chubby slot machine anyway uh anyway listen that's the end of our custer crazy horse and native American

series if you would like more um do we have look do we have any Charlie do we have any sense of the fattest Native American baby ever well I'm surprised I did try and find that yeah but it's unclear

there are I guess they don't There's an oral history. There is a lot of people have been sending me on Instagram, a lot of listeners, this new baby that's just been born about three weeks ago in New York. Okay, new big baby just dropped. Yeah, new big baby just dropped.

He's a 13 pound baby boy. He fucking erupted out of his mom there. 13 pound baby boy and he already requires clothes for a six month old. Fuck. Straight north to six months. Yeah. Guys, I was 12 pounds. Fucking hell.

I was 12 pounds. Yeah. 13 pounds isn't that much. I mean, I was fucking huge. But if they're making posts about that, that bums me out because that basically means I'm... You're free. I was big enough to be a Facebook post. You were big enough for Charlie to bring you up.

If we deal with Sussex in the 90s. I must be up there. Anyway, if you'd like more, we're on the Patreon. We are delving into the history of Mormonism. Lots of fun. But if not, we'll see you next week for a brand new topic. This has been Finn versus History. Goodbye for now.

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