Fin vs History - I’m Not Racist, Some of My Best Hostages Are Black | The Iranian Revolution, 1979 (3/3)

Episode Date: April 20, 2025

The Shah goes on his holibobs and Ayatollah Khomeini uses a hostage crisis to play 4 dimensional woke chess The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened.  For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/fintaylor?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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And this is part three of our epic series on the Islamic Revolution in Iran. Yeah. We are in 1978. Yeah. For context, this is after Peles won the World Cup. Yeah. Peles in America, probably.

New York Cosmos. It's before Zedan's head butt. Yeah. So that should place it. That should place it in the history of football. ball. This is where Pelle is playing against kind of like basically amateur non-league players and racking up his goals, Halley.

And he's getting a big endorsement from Viagra companies. Is he? Yeah, he's like the original influencer, but for making your dick big. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They joke about it in The Simpsons, that's how. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I also saw a kind of like, it could have been like take a break bag or even Daily Mail or Daily Mail or just an absolute rag saying that Pelle, exume Pelle, because he's my dad. and it's someone claiming this is dad and he wants to exhume Pele. Exume Pele. Now we're very pro exhuming. Yeah, I know, but hashtag, I want to start in a hashtag, hashtag exhumpele. It's just a great thing to start trending. Peli was first ever ambassador for erectile dysfunction, but said he never used Viagra.

Well, so what's, yeah. Are you just thumbing it in? Is that what you're doing? Is that what you're doing? That's, yeah, that's an insecure straight guy at a chapel row in concert saying, well, I'm not, I'm still. I'm so straight. I'm straight. I don't really know who Chapel.

Don't really know who Chapel Roan is. Just because, you know, chaperone is, don't you? I know what she looks like. Right. I don't know why she's a thing, what she's doing. Finn, we all know you're straight. You don't need to hammer at home. I can't stress.

I don't know why she's popular. I don't know who she, I know what she looks like. Yeah. She hosts it and has Saturday Night Live. Yeah. Well, it's like a straight guy going there for the music, but constantly able to remind people that he is straight. I'm straight, by the way.

I'm straight by the way. I like the music. I enjoy the, that's Pelego, and I enjoy the idea of Viagra, helping out many men, but doesn't mean I need it. I'm giving it to everyone that I'm sucking off. Yeah.

Now, Ayatollah Klamini, he's probably not using Viagra because I don't... He's using the opposite of Viagra. What is he goes floppy? Yeah, I guess it's to stop of having a reaction. What's the opposite of Viagra?

I don't think that's a good Google. Because I need it. Whatever it is. Whatever it is, sign me up. You see an arm cross leg for three hours? Yeah. That's got a raging lob on. Whenever I think about the Iranian Revolution,

I get rock hard. Yeah. my um end of my dicks like kamani's well yeah my soldier my soldier my my cock is sort of like a sort of like a North Korea military it's always at attention

straight backed yeah always ready for any Terracotta army that's my call my cock and balls I think that's a fraud in slip you call it a soldier I reckon that's the relationship you have to it what? Get in there get in there pull yourself together soldier you're always caught marshalling it for

coming too quickly clean your boots up for Christ's it. Inspection! Oh dear. Oh, no, you've come again. Let's get back to it. An aphrodisiac is a substance that quails or blunts the libido. It's the opposite of an aphrodisiac. So let's get some examples of that.

Clinical studies show that Chialis does not reliably achieve hard. I don't want a harder erection child. Charlie, he is struggling. He is being way down. I'm erect all the time. There's barely any blood going to any part of his body because it's all going to the court. It's just all going in there. I need an iotologist. to come and slap it down, whack them all my dick.

In the way that Britain is too centralised around London, Finn's blood is all in his cock. We need to have bases up in Leeds. We need HS2 to make sure. We need HS2 to my brain. The canary wharf of my dick and balls is powering the country's finances. But at the cost of the rest.

The cost of the rest of the country. My hands are cold. We need a northern powerhouse. We need a northern... It's a white elephant. My spine's a white elephant. Have we managed to not say one thing about what we're talking about

on this episode? No, we have. Pele. Pele. Pele's around, but Zedan has not headbutted Marco Matarazzi. Probably the most

Is it a headbutler thing he does. It's the headbutt. Yeah, yeah. I reckon Ayatollah Kameni liked a headbutt. Yeah, he's got a good headbutt with that. Well, it's quite, maybe softened by his turban. That's true, actually. Yeah, so it probably makes it.

But maybe he takes it off and then has a spike Well, apparently, I watched documentary on Al Jazeera. Apparently, he was an incredibly loving grandfather. Oh, okay. And like... Was he actually? Yeah, he had seven kids, I think.

Right. Seven kids. Well, Hitler loved his dog. Yep, that's a big old swing. Please don't cut our heads off. Although, I then also saw an interview with Mohammed bin Salman who called Ayatollah Khmer Hitler. Right.

Famously, those two don't get on. They don't get on. Sunnis and Shiites. They, um, yeah, they don't like it. so we left off at the trigger of the Iranian revolution arguably when the Shah mistakenly makes a bad move by not mistakenly he purposely but it was a mistake to purposely call the Ayatollah a gay man

the straightest man in the world basically it's it's Kirstama taking out space in the Sunday times to call Boris Johnson a gay lord right that's what he's done yeah and almost the other round Johnson, this is Winston, this is when Starmes in opposition. And this causes riots because to lots of people, Hermione's their, you know, he's their icon. He's the, he, as we were saying last time, he wears all black, he's a blank canvas, onto which communists, middle class liberals, sort of more moderate religious people, they all put their ambitions and dreams for the country onto him, even though he is Mr. Grumpikins, sorry, Dr. Grumpikins, the hardest straightest, no, you know, death penalty for sucking. dick's he hates everything yeah he's grumpy cunt number one yeah uh do you know what he'd be

you know Sean Walsh's podcast what's up set you now he'd be great on that he'd be such a good guess would yeah yeah yeah well no it wouldn't actually because most we go on that you talk about like when I went on that I talked about um low traffic neighborhoods right LTNs yeah road works why why did that piss you off what I don't get me fucking started on well let's hear the Ayatollahs view no my point is the Ayatollah would go on there and he'd be like I'll tell you what I fucking hate is people sucking dicks and then they'd have to be like well this is It's a bit serious. A bit serious, mate.

I felt like you meant that. More lighthearted. Yeah, it's my... I would love to know the little things that irked him because I imagine there was a lot of... I guess he's not much of a small talker. Doesn't like to see women's hair?

Yeah. That's not a little thing, I guess. Again, I tell you what he probably does hate is how big the Quran is because he still doesn't finish it. He's been reading for 20 years and he doesn't know how the story ends. Read another book, lad.

Choose another book. Read a paper. Read the Be no. Khomeini's not reading the Beano So he's in France So he might be reading Charlie Hebdo Maybe So Kameni's in France

Been kicked out of Iraq by Saddam So he goes where's the next smeliest place France And he becomes the rallying figure For opposition For quite a lot of truths He's quite a cross-factional thing Broad church

Very broad church Ironically Because it becomes an unbelievably narrow church I said the narrowest church There is Is that my fundamentalism there is no wiggle room for anything yeah they hate wiggle room these guys no no does it fit no get out so uh his tapes his bootlegs is it's very dry music's all

been smuggled in terrible mixed tapes but the west the west think he's like gandy they think he's this kind of he's beautiful austere yeah um there's probably a bit of like noble savage racism into it as well um in september 78 exoticized but basically in 1978 they're increasing protests and crucially, again, if we're talking about the Shah of Iran's big boo-boos, one of them is that he hasn't given the army or the police a moderate crowd control. It's either got, they've either got megaphones or bullets. Yeah. So when the crowds get too big, they just shoot everyone. So they have a bloody Friday, which is, it's interesting how they don't come up with new terms. Everyone's got their bloody Fridays, their bloody Sundays. Has there

been any bloody Tuesdays? I don't bloody, bloody Tuesday is that it's always bloody. Because it's bloody Friday,

it's bloody Sunday. There's loads of bloody Sundays. Like the Irish Sunday was like the fourth bloody Sunday. But you'd think like bloody,

that's an Alabama. Bloody Tuesday. So there's a, refers to brutal police attack on civil rights march in Tuscalo, Alabama.

Right. Bloody Wednesday. Let's get through it. Hang on, what's bloody Monday? We haven't done Monday, Monday,

Monday, Monday, first. Monday night football. Yeah, we've got Gary Neville and Jamie

carrier. So as you can see, let's stop it. Bloody Mondays in Kentucky. There you go. Protestant and Rob's attacked Irish and German Catholics. All right. Bloody Tuesday's Alabama in the 60s. Bloody Wednesday. Is there any day of the week that's not bloody? Doesn't have a bloody... But you'd think after they've done one bloody Sunday, they go, well, the next time

it's gory Sunday. Yeah, that's what... It's the... It's like poopy Sunday. That's respectful. Bloody Wednesday is a film. Hang on, scroll down, scroll down. Bloody Wednesday. The event... Ah, here we go. Kingdom of Poland. Operation Harvest. festival

murder of 43,000 Jews. Okay, now he's excited. What the fuck? Hang on. Pogrom. It's a pogrom. It's a Polish pogram. But that's what I mean.

Bloody Sunday is like... Bloody Thursday, let's complete the list. Hang on. As the bloodies go up to the number, 43,000 on one day. We'd imagine near the end of the week there's going to be more people congregating. Right.

I see what you mean. Bloody Thursday. Please kill two longshoremen. So hang on. So bloody Wednesday, 43,000 Jews die. Bloody Thursday is just two. Yeah.

I think, do you know what? I'd say that's not enough for a... Well, let's see, yeah, two's definitely not. I'd say that's just a bad Thursday. That's a rubbish Thursday. And we've got Bloody Friday. That's what we're talking about. Bloody Saturday.

Yeah, that bloody Thursday, they're really fucking clutching. They're undermining. Bloody Saturday can refer to several... Several. Let's have a look. Scroll down. A photograph of a crying baby after a Japanese... What?

Revers the climax of the Winnipeg General Strike where Mounted the Police Unit busted fire into... It's going to Shanghai during the second of war. Bricks and... on every day of the week. But I will say that bloody Thursday is the least

is the least. Go back to what that was. It was two longshoremen. In the San Francisco General Strike sparking a major confrontation. No, no,

no, no, no. You can't have that. That's just bad Thursday. Anyway, so... Unlucky Thursday. unlucky for you. So on Bloody Friday... 43,000 plays

two longshoremen. That's not fair. So the Shah causes Bloody Friday. It makes the crowd even madder. But then, one of the podcasts I was listening to

they basically said that he acted the dictator but he couldn't follow it through because he was only kind of like a half dictator so a proper dictator probably would have just kept putting his foot down on protesters but then him I don't know being insecure having a whole kind of daddy complex probably couldn't deal with this lack of love

well he'd be like well stop them don't shoot them fuck I'm going holiday bye that's what happens it all came to head in about four months and a lot of it was that it just seemed like a complete political meltdown He just fucking lost his lip. People keep processing and he goes, stop them.

But he hasn't given them tear gas. So they just shoot people. He goes, don't shoot people. And they go, well, what else do you want us to do? And then he goes, I've booked a holiday. And they go, what? And he goes, see it. And then in August 78, there's a massive fire, which is actually in a cinema in

Abidon, which is the oil place. It's a horrendous fire, actually. It's an Islamist terrorist attack. Yeah. They burn the cinema down. But the Shah gets blamed and Hermani gets, like, credit for being the opposition, even though the people who do it are much closer to Khomey than the Ardashar.

Biggest terrorist attack was the biggest, the most deadly terrorist attack until 9-11. No. Yeah. Really? Yeah. It was the... Wow. Yeah.

Because so many people die. Normally people get out, but they were locked in. And, yeah, the fact that it got blamed on him and it was complete opposite people. Yeah. What were they showing? You need a spin, you need Alsa Campbell in there. Who's your spin doctor? I mean, the Shah really need Alistair Campbell.

Look at that. You've been spanned. Terribly. What film was playing, Charlie? Yeah, it depends which film is playing, to be fair. Because it might have been so bad that they just went, do you know what? Like the door set fire to all of us.

What they did? But what's the, with a lot of like the Islamic terrorists, but a lot of the point you're making here? It was Asian Miltz four. Oh right, fair enough. Right, fair enough. Four men allegedly barred the doors to the cinema,

doused it with petrol and started the fire. Now, what are you doing that for? Fucking hell. At least 377. But, yeah. Others' theories suggest the fire was a false. flag operation where one group set the fire to frame another group, but I think Islamists claimed credit for it, but it doesn't really matter because the Shah gets all the, he gets

all the heat. Crazy. So basically there's just, in 78, there's, in the, in the September onwards, there's just people on the streets a lot. And every time the Shah tries to stop it, people get shot. And so there's just, it's proper, like, end of days tyranny. Now, this is a really funny bit. In December, he goes on the news and he goes, right, I've heard you. I know your demands for revolution and I think I should be the one to lead the revolution. And everyone listening goes, oh what, this is a revolution? Oh, no one's called it that yet? Great. Let's fucking bin you off. So he's the first one to call it revolution. So he completely fucks it. Revolutions, they're always hallmarked by the person in charge at multiple moments,

completely fucking it. there's always turning points that they just choose the wrong choose your own adventure the wrong one every time no not that one you fucked it do I shoot everyone or do I give into demands

I shot everyone brilliant fuck so basically he's motivated because there was all these strikes and protests and they paralys the country and nothing's working blah blah blah he goes up says I'm going to lead the revolution everyone goes oh it's revolution fuck you then

and in January so bear in mind that the like the fire was in August And in, what's that? September, October, November, four months, the Shah's completely fucked it. He's gone, he's also got cancer, but he's not telling anyone. So he's, and he's feeling a bit sad.

Yeah. Because his treatment makes him sad. Yeah. Should make him happy. What? The treatment. Happier. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'd be like, cheer up. You're getting treated for it. Anyway. Smiles free, love.

Yeah, come on. Cheer up. Might never happen. Oh, what's happening now? Okay, well, fair enough. It's Rona Week, now until Wednesday, and the best part, we're ready to help you extend your summer. You know the saying the grass is always greener on the other side? Well, this summer, make sure it's your side of the lawn.

Head to Rona today for 5.2 kilograms of Scott's Turf Builder Fall Lawn Fertilizer at only 1499. Build it right, build it Rona. Conditions apply, details in store, and more offers at rona.ca. Anyway, so I think it's the 10th of January. He goes, I haven't been on holiday for three weeks. I'm going to book another one. I mean, look, to be fair, he's got principles. He will not stay in his own country.

Now, where does he go first? Does he not go to New York? No, that's later. That's later. He goes to maybe Turkey, Paris, maybe. He's got some dicks that are still unsucked in Switzerland. Right, right, right. The trial traveled to Egypt, Morocco, the Bahamas and Mexico.

So that's where it goes. Right, fair enough. He goes, you know what, I've never been out. Bahamas. Yeah. That's a, that's a pretty sick. He's like, fuck it. I'm going to snorkeling.

That goes to Bahamas. At least go to like a cold country on a cultural trip. Now, like fucking lounging. There is quite a funny possible reinterpretation of the Iranian Revolution where it turns out you could argue that the Shah has pre-booked several holidays. Right. And this is from like the 50s onwards.

Yeah. He's pre-booked 30 years of holidays. And it's just always at the time. the wrong time. What are we going to do? You're not going to let that money go to waste. I've got a great deal on the 50s on holidays. Someone said you can have a round the world ticket

if you take 30 years to go over these places. So anyway, so he fucks off to the Bahamas, does some snorkeling and there's a vacuum and he thinks he's coming back as well. And then Kameney is called for by the people. They're lifting up the face, Mr. Grumpikins. Please come back. And the Shah has erected this massive monument

as well, the Shah's monument, which is meant to be the symbol of modernity. And people are congregating around. there like throwing shit at it and they're lifting photos of grumpikins and all the West, the West are like this is just, they're just better his. But him going on the news saying

I've heard you, I'm kind of like I'm sorry. Yeah. Just that weakness just makes it immediately real and he's lost to all authority. He's fucked it. Yeah. So then Hameini everyone calls him to come back. So him walking down off the plane we'll show footage of that. That's

the big moment. And he is asked by journalist as he's flying in. You know, he's been bear in mind he's not been in a run since 64. So what's that? He's been keeping it 16 years, something like that. And he's been keeping it pretty tight-lipped and grumpy. He's been having to watch Mr. Bean for 15 years, and he's not laughed once.

That's how grumpy is. And a journalist asks him, how do you feel? And he says, I feel nothing. Because he... I believe him. He's still trying to finish this book. He's not laughed once. He's bored.

Yeah, he's bored. Someone should make a montage of him sat by myself with that song Everybody's talking at me I don't hear what I'm saying Only the echoes of my mind I won't let you leave Because he's just always sad

On his own, isn't he? Anyway, so he comes back And people go fucking ape shit Because as we say There are middle class, Marxists, moderates, liberals They're thinking brilliant We're finally going to have political rights

they're going to get rid of the secret police they're going to have whatever police force comes next I reckon it'll be better I reckon it can't be worse it can't be worse Iran can't get worse the only way is up yeah

things can only get better yeah it's like Blair if it's like Blair gets elected 997 second of May 97 he starts war in Iraq right it's like that that's what this happens here he just fast tracks to the ship bit

yeah yeah so he does all you know shaking hands he's getting photos with babies all that shit he's signing women's tears saying you're burning hell I don't want to see these you're burning hell put them away love put it away love that's what it's that's his thing to put it away love sign the Iotola and he

now he holds a because his whole thing which we didn't talk about is um you're right yeah sorry you just got bored there and you start poking it's like his whole thing look it's a big

it's a big record it's a big topic a lot's going on sorry I could beat you stim there that's all right ratio just started it was like you know when monkeys

pick bugs you just started picking hairs off the microphone well I just noticed the flatness at the top of this microphone and I just really want to put my palm on there

and then you put me right back to reality you want to look at Google Maps for a bit shut out can you put subway surfer on just so on the second screen we just have some satisfying videos please that japanese woman shoving bread in her face put that on um so hermany comes back and he uh his

whole thing right his whole thing that he's been working on in exile is apart from reading the book is he's been talking about um our council of like jurists or something like his whole vibe is that islamic government should be about guiding people protecting people protect the religion like people can't be trusted to implement it themselves it's a very top down like paternalistic the jurist yeah the jurist of Islam yeah um he wouldn't be happy with how you're sitting currently well you have to what straight back I'm the I toller of this podcast Charlie's first against the wall all his sexual proclivities the I atollah would fucking hate you the I at Charlie of all three of us I reckon I'm

I reckon I've got the longest with them. I think he wouldn't mind, yeah. You're showing too much shin. Charlie says, how are you doing, mate? I've just come from a rimming or whatever. And he's like, right, well, you're in the bin. I reckon I can maybe chat five minutes with them before it gets a bit free. Anyway, there's a referendum, right?

Do you want an Islamic Republic? And what I think people in Iran do is they think, republic? Great. President, get rid of the king. People, democracy. Brilliant. Let's have that. And then they don't realize that he said Islamic.

No, I don't think that's actually, I think it's, because the actual thing on the referendum was either the monarchy, what we had before, the guy we just binned off that massive pussy. Yeah. Or do you want a government that upholds Islamic principles?

Right. So it's a super vague. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I guess so. I guess that I love that one, man. Yeah, let's go for that. And if, listen, you can, you can say,

Sike! You can say many things about, uh, idol for many but what you cannot deny is that his government is upholding Islamic principles to the lesser what happens if I'm gay

death penalty off a building bye bye night night what happens if I'm a woman I want to get my hair out in the bin you're going in the bin you're going in the big bit of a ram with all the gays and the women with the long hair something we didn't mention in any episodes but was a key part as well

was the Shah was recognised the state of Israel so is a huge part of it as well. Yeah, Shah, because obviously he's being funded by America, so Shah goes, I like, I just love the term,

recognize. Like, oh, it's you. Yeah, whereas, it's like, oh, Israel, it's Israel, right? And then, but everyone else in the around's like,

yeah, well, it's just like, when you're having a falling out with a friend and they're ignoring you, their purpose of not making eye contact with you. Yeah. Anyway, Kermani,

he then institutes an Islamic Republic after the referendum gets like 98%. Yeah. Yeah, no, killed it. Yeah, he's nailed it. absolutely smashed it. Nothing's suspicious about a 98% win.

But again, the referendum was essentially, do you want the smelly pussy back? Or do you want... Like a vaguely... Vaguidly good. Probably maybe... Probably better. Who knows?

Let's give it a go. And then they start quite similar to the culture revolution, quite similar to the French revolution. There's sort of these quite like student-led bodies, right? Well, yeah. So it's then kind of all the gloves are off. So he forms a revolutionary guard. And it's interesting that it's a revolutionary guard

rather than a Republican guard. Like it's to protect the revolution rather than the republic. Even though I heard someone on a podcast saying that you could argue that he was a counter-revolutionary, that it was actually a counter-revolution. That's what they say. Right.

Because they, the Iran, in Iran's head, right, 1979 plays 1953. Right. So from their perspective, it's one or all. Right, right, right. Because they think the Americans in the West, I mean, they call America Great Satan and Britain Little Satan, which I'm

very happy with. I think, I mean, we'll take Little Satan. We'll take Little Satan. We've been called worse. So in their head, they still go on about 53. Right. They won't let it go. Whereas we're like, fucking get over it, mate.

Yeah. Come on. Come on. You've done some fucked up shit as well. Yeah. We didn't build the fucking prisons for you. That was the Nazis. Anyway.

We all have a coloured history. Let he without sin cast the first stone or whatever that is. And then you get stone to death. And then, yeah. Oh, we've all sucked a dick, mate. You know. He has not sucked a dick, Carl's the first.

People in glass out and can't be throwing those stones. No, you're getting stone to death, mate. You're getting stone to death. So, he forms of a revolutionary guard. I think the Shah had, the other thing the Shah had done is that Jimmy Carter had come into power. Not Jimmy Carr. Sorry, I thought you about to say Jimmy Carr. No.

That would be real left field if he came into this story. Jimmy Carr starts doing, he starts to workshopping some of his jokes in, early They hate him over there. They really don't like it. All is they, you know, say what you're on about free speech, but it is contextual.

Red has that amazing joke about the Saudi Arabian Jimmy Car just being someone who says nice things about women. And all the people in Saudi Arabia is like, I can't wait to see what kind of fucked up shit

is you're going to say tonight? So good. They should vote. Fucking out. This guy. That's dark. This guy's going to get cancelled. He says it.

He fucking says it. He didn't give a fuck this guy Jimmy Carter has come to power in America in I think 78 maybe No 77 After Gerald Ford who came in after Nixon So he's coming on a whole like Anti-Corruption Human Rights ticket

Maybe the most liberal President of all time The weirdest president has ever been Yeah Quite an odd bloke as well He was a peanut farmer Yeah He came from a background

on a peanut farming. Penophile. A peanut file. Peanut file. Yeah, yeah. Apparently. Kentucky or Alabama, I think? Apparently he was like, his main problem because I was listening to a podcast about all

the presidents and it was, in general there's lots of people who aren't across the detail. Like Trump's not across detail of policy, right? Yeah. And that can be too far one way. But he was too far the other way. He was across everything. Even so much so, he was booking the White House tennis courts. So he handled the bookings on that.

Oh, wow. You don't need to be doing that, man. So he's like, he's doing... There's got to be someone who's job that is. He's making sure all the lights are off to save energy. Like, seriously. At the end of the night, right?

Is everyone switched the lights off? Come on. You're president, Jimmy. Jimmy, this delegate. Right. I have a lot of time for Jimmy. I'd love to do an episode on just Jimmy Carter. So also, Jimmy Carter lived so long, right?

Yeah, he only just died. Because I saw this TikTok. Maybe it's a TikTok. Jimmy Carter enjoys his 99th birthday, right? And I think the word... Celebrate his 99th birthday. I think the word celebrate is maybe a strong, strong use for it.

You've never seen an older man in your life. It's fucking, like a sneeze will kill him. Just show me on your phone. Oh my God. That's his 100th birthday. 100th birthday, isn't it? So if you're listening, there's a flyover for Jimmy Carter and he is basically propped up in a bed with his mouth open.

swallowing flies just looking at planes but are his eyes open I mean he's a wax work he's a fucking wax work I mean I just think if I get to that point just fucking pin me

just put me a bulletin me What do you mean celebrates? Well by celebrating they mean put into daylight Happy birthday Jim fucking hell that's sad God

that's more depressing than any of this It's amazing that he's held on so long Yeah so so jimmy carter has come in and his whole thing is human rights ethical foreign policy because of the whole nixon thing and because it's post vietnam so when the shah sorry this is 70s america so even like in the films of 70s america it's confusion is anxiety paranoia yeah there's an identity crisis of america so jimmy carter's kind of result of that where it's like we don't know where we stand we want a wholesome we want someone who's good we want to be good

And the Shah is obviously imprisoning people, killing dissidents. So Jimmy Carter, who's funding the Shah, is leaning on and saying, hey, man, can you fucking help me out? I'll give you some peanuts if you stop getting people. And it's like, hey, hey, boy. Do you know what it's like?

It's like the guy from family guy. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Do you want some peanuts? Anyway, so the whole point is that the Shah, he starts to release prisoners. So he releases people who hate him into the streets. And it's basically, in the same.

space of like two years he starts fast-tracking trying to as a panic give iranians political freedoms that they've never had even since yeah like the you know since the beginning we start the series they've never had political freedom at all it's been one party state the last four years and he goes oh shit okay sorry and just tries to give them everything yeah which then immediately means they're all out in the street and when homani comes in he's like uh he then just starts killing them all yeah he just goes we uh he just kill he just kills everyone that the shah released from prison Oh, right. He's like,

you can all fucking get in the bin. He just, he just starts, this is where they start doing like death squads. They're going around and this is, and at this point, like all the Marxists and stuff, they're like,

yeah, you know, obviously it's a revolution man. It's going to get a bit groovy for a bit. Off with your head. Yeah, yeah. Look,

we've all sucked a bit of dicks around here. Bang. Dead. Yeah. And there's this, you know, they're trying to tell themselves. They're like,

oh, it's all right. It's a revolution. You know, it's all going to get a bit grisly But it will stop It still hasn't stopped Right We're in 2025, it's still not stopped

And it's interesting with Jimmy Carter as well They're kind of like I don't know Being the liberal ethical guy Shows the limitations of Kind of liberal foreign policy But when you're dealing How good your good intentions are

When you're dealing with these sort of things You cannot just have a soft hand When you're on the phone to Dr. Grumpy come Or whatever his name is grumpy kids You might have to You just diplomacy You have to compromise on some of your You've got to be him halfway.

Yeah. Or you meet him none of the way, which I think is what Grumpykins famously. You don't really meet him half way. He's not really a halfway kind of guy, Grumpikins. What about a burqa just to the, just to below the tits? Off with your head. Off of your head. Get your head off.

So Ayatollah starts getting the death squads around shooting people. And as you say, students who are, you know, it's still not fully settled into the Islamic Republic proper yet. There's still this kind of post-revolution craziness in 1979, people running around. people running around you know women are still you know they've got their tits out

that's about to end yeah tits are about to go go away for a long time yeah they're being put for a long time love the tits have been put into deep storage

the tits have been found in a car park and by TikTok non-sky you're going away for a long time love and you I didn't know I swear who you're here to meet you two you go home

you'll be banged up for a long time so then what happens is the American Embassy in Tehran of which there are I don't know hundreds of people

working there is a huge it's a huge embassy obviously because America has a lot of influence in the region Well America's been

bankrolling Exactly But it's like Even in quite like poor areas You can see this giant compound It's like a huge

symbol of And at all the times There are people on the street With a photo Dr. Grumpikins And none of the shouting Death to the West They love getting together

and shouting They hate the West Because the whole thing is finally We're taking back our country by the people for the people too much Western influence

what is that black stuff can someone please tell us what's that what is it is it Guinness I don't even know what that is either am we allowed to drink it I don't know what it is the conjuring last rites on September 5th I think I'm not here with you Array

Array! The Conjuring Last Rites Only on Theatre September 5th Is this at the beginning of the angry Middle Eastern mob Because now, growing up, just BBC News Is this endless Angry Middle Eastern mob It's endless videos from all over the Middle East

Just live it Firing out Just different people in it This is kind of the start of that sort of stuff, I reckon. Well, no, because There's been like revolution. I guess it's televised. The fact is that this is televised.

Yeah. And people are charging around in flares. Yeah. Anyway. So there's a mob outside the American embassy. And this is in 1979. There's this group of militant students and Khmerini followers. But like a lot of revolutions, French revolution,

cultural revolution, capturing the youth, capturing the student body. Basically, you build your own revolution. And then really passionate, unemployed students. get together and they become their own militant groups having a scary amount of power in the sort of confusion of the revolution happened quite regularly and this is what happened here.

They storm the embassy and this is the beginning if it's film Argo if everyone's seen that where they're inside being like fuck it burn everything, burn everything and so they take 52 American diplomats and citizens hostage well actually they take

more than that hostage they take about I think it's nearly 70 hostage but so Hermione here's about this and again like you say he didn't plan this but he backs it he backs it happens in his name yeah and he backs it but and this is one of the great sikes of all time he goes 70 American hostages okay release the black ones did a David Brent move my favorite my favorite film actors Sydney Poitier yeah some of my best hostages are black.

And he just lets them all the black ones go. It's a great move. It's the, it's, it's, fuck you the west. Oh, this guy's woke actually, it turns out. He's got blue air under that turban. Grumpy Kins, we underestimate with you. He lets all the black ones go. That's such a good move.

It's such a good move. Do you know what? I don't know how long we're going to do this podcast for, but I'm just going to say now, that's up there with a. best moves. That's a great move. That's, I think so far, all the things we've covered, that's... Well, what he's best at is he, he bides his time, and then he just pounces at the

right moment, you know? He doesn't fuck out. The black people are oppressed in America, so we're going to let you go free. To make it seem like a social justice. And to the leftist in America, this is, they're loving this up. They're like this guy. Who is this Gandhi-esque? Yeah. Who's this Che Guevara, this Jesus,

you know? We haven't talked about the Mahadi, have we? We should probably talk about that. Yeah. Because part of the, part of Hemeni's appeal, which I should have said in the last episode, is that, well, in the book of Revelation, there's this idea of a white horse. Yes. And the Messiah returning.

And in Islam, that's called the Mahadi. Yeah. And so, yes. Yes. Please don't come my head off. Yes. It's a messiahic, mass ionic figure believed to appear in the days before judgment day in the end of the world. But there's also similar myths in Zoroathstriism, Zoroth, whatever it's called,

Zoro the Persian religion They have a lot of Apocalyptic myths that also feed into this That he simply, you know And I just remember this is an interesting fact If that's going back in a timeline Just before the Shah leaves Yeah

He changes the calendar From the Islamic one To like a Persian one Right So overnight, this is how mental this is Overnight the year changes From like 16 something To 2535

Wait so both are not the Western calendar No he goes to we're actually taking the date from the person calendar So a millennia fast forwards overnight in their head How mental would that be if you're just alive And you're like oh it's 2025 and someone goes Actually it's 3,000 you'd be like what the fuck? What the fuck? We don't have flying cars yet

What do you mean it's 3,025? So Hermione So the students rush in They take the people hostages Homanie releases the black one switches is one of the best moves we've ever seen. He's a virtue signaler.

He's a virtue signal. Now, Carter is, this is huge news in America. One of the first kind of televised hostage situations. Yeah. So there are 50 American diplomats and they are, so Jimmy Carter,

the first thing he does is, I'll trade you some peanuts for those hostages. And it's like, Jimmy, this isn't how it works. Get off the farm, man. You're dealing with the grumpiest cunt that's ever been. And he's like, okay, I'll salt them.

Redi salted. Dry roasted. Dry roasted. Honey roasted. Do you want some like knobby's nuts? What the fuck you want? I got loads of peanuts, man. I'm trying to get rid of these peanuts.

I can't go off. Yeah. Do you want to swap some peanuts? I can't sell these fucking peanuts for love nor money. Do you want to swap oil for peanuts maybe? Do you have any peanuts in it wrong? So he, so he condemns the attack, right?

And immediately calls the safe release of hostages. But bear in mind, they're not to skip forward. And then the Ithollah says, fair enough and release them safely. Yeah. After Jimmy Carter. after Jimmy Carter condemns it and asks for them he goes

Fair enough you've made your point well So bear in mind that so the hostages will This crisis will go on for over a year It's 400, 40 days What the entire time this is happening Jimmy Carter keeps the Iranian embassy open in the US Which is like the weakest He's the cuckest president

He's the cuck president He's the cuck president He's watching Bill Clinton Giz and Monica Lewinsky's dress And he's jacking off on it That's why he's in his chair like that watching Bill Clinton

fucking intern Jimmy Carter celebrates Bill Clinton impeachment so the hostages they're not they're not having a good time in there I think it's pretty

rubbish time and obviously you've seen the film Argo because it'll happen so quickly they didn't have time to probably destroy a lot the censored documents they just ran through like a striper obviously they've got all the documents about like 53 in there right they've got

They'll probably have loads of Iranian sleeper cells. They'll have American CIA agents. Yeah, assets in another country. And then they carefully, piece by piece, the regime gets like just children to slowly repiece it on like a clipboard. All the hostages were threatened repeatedly with execution. They played Russian roulette with some of the hostages. Kept in handcuffs the first two weeks.

There's a guy who's kept in solitary confinement for several months on two occasions when he expressed his opinion of Ayatollah Khomey, he was severely punished. Fuck. The second time he was beaten and kept a load in the freezing cell for two weeks.

It's all pretty bad stuff. And Jimmy Carter, every few months is going on the news going, okay, don't worry, I'm sure we can find an amount of peanuts

that will lead to their release. Well, this is interesting. One of the Osgers did a hunger strike. Yeah, if you're a hostage. Are you being fed that much anyway? Yeah, I don't really know what... Well, yeah, we're threatening to kill you, lad.

I will not eat another peanut until I'm... All right. Well, I'm playing Russian roulette with you, lads. One of the hostages described threats to boil their feet

in oil. Cut their eyes out. Kidnap and Kill a disabled son in America. Fuck it out. He starts sending a piece of him to your wife. Fucking.

Hell, that sounds like Rachel Reeves. Not to get all have I got news for you on this. I like Michael Reeves. One of the hostage got sent home because he had MS.

Fair enough. Well, look, they're woke. Yeah. They are. They are. You're feeling it. black disabled you can go home yeah if you get a blue badge you can go home i've got eme you're staying you're staying

the guards often withheld male well that's not the worst i think if they're cutting up the disabled sign i'm not sure if they're pointing your feet in oil i think the uh i don't see anything for you mr scott are you sure your wife has not found another man christ christ oh it's pretty funny yeah so but so what carter does um this is fucking hilarious so at some point Carter goes right it's been it's been six months they don't seem to be taking my peanut

office seriously I'm going to send the boys in yeah so he's the politest president as well yeah he is very politely ethical foreign policy post-watergate so in April 1980 so six months after the hostage crisis the Carter launches an operation called

Operation Eagle Claw. And this is an ambitious, completely illegal. Right. In terms of like, you know, if this fails, they cause a war, right? They're going to send some helicopters, special forces helicopters into the desert. They're then going to refuel and then they're going to fly in one go from there to Tehran. They're going to get in the, and they're just going to extract them from. They're going to basically, like the London embassy series, they're going to do that, but in Iran,

in it, get them back to the desert, getting them back out on planes, right? Jobs are good. Jobs are gooden.

They miscalculate how far, long the desert is. It turns out Iran's massive. Yeah. And they get there and they go, oh, fuck it out.

So they land... Which I thought I could have said that. Just go on Google Maps. They didn't have Google Maps. No, they didn't have... This is before Google Maps. Right. So they land basically on a road,

right, in the middle of nowhere, and a couple of trucks come towards them. And they're like, well, we're meant to not be spotted. here. So they shoot the trucks, right? First one stops. The second one, they go, they fire an

anti-tank weapon at it, like a rocket launcher. And as they fire it, they go, oh, is that, is that a massive fuel? That's a fuel tanker, isn't it? So basically their secret operation has just set fire to an oil tanker in the middle of the desert. And the Iranians are like, that's not bit unusual. What's going on over there? So they then, there's then a dust cloud, which means they can't take off properly. So they then... They tried taking off and helicopters

crash and to each other. Because the dust cloud. Yeah. And they hit each other. Both helicopters explode. And then... About six US service

when die or something like that. And then Iranians, there's lots of pictures posted of Iranian like gloating with chard the charred corpses. Which is a terrible look, I think. But it's also something that they will do

in their Iraq war. That's part of the Middle Eastern anti-American. They will always pose with the charred corpse of an American. They love it. They love it. We're wearing a t-shirt saying,

I'm with stupid. Oh, it's really nice not being burned live. Yeah. Yeah. Peace on behind their head. They'll have like a T-shirts and like Texas barbecue and they'll be like, he's from Texas. So, um, yeah, basically a few people get home, but it's this operation. Obviously, you've got to imagine that this, the hostage situation is on the news like every

fucking night, all night. Fox News isn't really a thing, but like, you know. What's the reason for them taking the American, the hospital? what they're hoping to gain from it oh fuck we didn't even say oh christ i know right sorry it's been a long it's been a long series the in november um the shah uh his cancer gets um diagnosed as terminal right he needs specific treatment so he asks um um the u s if he can go to new york they let him in and as soon as the pictures of him arrive in new york go back that's when the students attack the embassy right so it's because they've there the shah is in new york

being treated by the Americans which optics-wise is just really bad because everyone hates the Shah of the American Empress so they storm the embassy and anyway so But what is the When you have a hostage you have demands What are their demands?

They don't fucking give a shit But what are they taking the hostage for then? Peanuts. Burned off So Carter then basically loses the presidency essentially because he's no one's ever looked weaker

because he tried a special operation. It's like, you know, when they got bin Laden and Obama strides forwards and goes, ladies gentlemen, we got it. Jimmy Carter goes, uh, ladies gentlemen, we fucked it. They, uh, yeah, both the helicopters crashed. We blew up an oil tankered and, uh,

six Americans are dead. We fucked it. You're just hoping when you're president that your special forces get some big scalps so you can come out and say, yeah, I did it. He died like a dog. You want that way. You want the head of ISIS.

Yeah, Trump gets out and just starts. Trump gets it. If Obama got Bin Laden, that's still the big fish. Terrible dog. He died like a dag. Yeah. Carter basically kills his own boys, loses two helicopters.

And that's why they elects 80s, very different decade. Strong man. America's strong again. Action films. Forget about taxi driver introspective new wave cinema. Now it's fucking Schwarzenegger.

It's Stallone. We're back. Baby. Yeah. Big musty guys. Reagan used to be an actor coming in So within So they

Within 15 minutes Yeah Of Reagan's inauguration Kameney releases all the hostages Because Fuck Carter Fair enough Fuck Carter

Just because it's funny Because the guys You know I mean he's Mr Grumpikins But he's pretty funny Yeah I guess that's a good bit So after 440 days Literally as Reagan

swears in the Bible He goes yeah you can all go now and they go home I guess it's because of his yeah a lot of his problems probably were with Carter's dealings with Iran

yeah so once they've got Carter out he feels like he's meddled enough of America that he can get them back but this is this is why America in Iran fucking hate each other now is this hostage crisis essentially

yeah is because they America still haven't got over it yeah and Iran still haven't got over 53 right and both countries very long memories famously yeah so I think that probably takes us to the end of our

Iran series. Omega. To sum this up in a word in a sort of sentence. A sentence. I'd say the history of Iran

from 1907 to present day is sort of like the career of Mia Khalifa. Gone. In that originally she's sucking everyone off, getting fucked in every

hole. At some point she goes, you know what, I'm autistic and I'm a business woman now. I'd like to be taken seriously. Are you saying Mia Khalifers is in her

a toddler period? Yes. Ayatollah era? Yes. Yeah, I am. I am saying that. Ayatollah Khalifa. Ayatollah Kameefa.

Yeah. Mrs. Grumpikins. Give her a full name. That's, I think that's where we are. Thanks so much for listening, guys. We'll be out next week with, I don't know what.

I don't know what, but there'll be a Patreon episode this week. Well, should we do it about the London siege? We don't know what we'll be. I don't know what we're going to do. But there'll be, if you want to become a truth and get a bonus episode every Friday, then sign up. It's just three pounds and you get everything ad-free.

And you get access to everything, first thing on a Monday. Either way, thank you so much for listening. Death to the West. Death to the West. Thank you so much for learning. God bless me, Khalifa, and all Hussein. And goodbye, Akbar.

Goodbye, Akbar. Thank you.