Fin vs History - Libtard Aliens Farming Diabetics For Piss | The History of Medicine (Part 1)

Episode Date: October 12, 2026

This episode of Fin vs History is brought to you by Hexclad. Find your forever cookware @hexclad and get 15% off at www.hexclad.co.uk/FVH ! Offer excludes bundles and other items already on sale. #hexcladpartner #sponsored If it doubt, put a dock leaf on it. The History Of Medicine (Part 1) The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened. For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon patreon.com/fintaylor This episode of Fin vs History is also brought to you by Surfshark. Secure your privacy with Surfshark! Enter coupon code FVH for an extra 4 months at https://surfshark.com/fvh   Chapters: 00:00 - Women In Stem 02:35 - Dock Leaves 07:00 - He’s Completely F*cked 11:15 - The First Cold 15:01 - Faeces (Other) 17:52 - Sperm, Poo, Vagina 22:42 - The Shipman Amendment 24:55 - The Diabetic Harvest 28:25 - Enough Is Enough 30:23 - Woo Woo Stuff 34:14 - Bryan Johnson 37:48 - Chinese Medicine 44:14 - Miracle Village 48:40 - It’s Just Crowd Work Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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beside me is Horatio Gould today we're discussing the history of medicine it is a long journey, the long road to Brian Johnson via several friends of the pod messers, Mengale, Shipman and Leti. The gang of three,

the heretic doctors. We happy few. They're like the new atheists, aren't they? Mengelea shipment and Lettby. They're doing things differently. Mangalais, shippers and lettby. Shout out, letby for

women in stems, of stuff. Listen, you know, if you're asking women to get into STEM, you know, careful what you wish for. You know, do we hold her up or do we take her down? I mean, make your mind up. Do you want them to be working in doctors or not? Are you big, are you a tall, you're a hypochondriac to any sort?

No. No, no. Absolutely not. Charlie, you, hyperchondri? I don't think I've been sick in like 10 years. What are you talking about? You've answered the phone to the GP on this podcast. That's the kind of, you've got, you've, what did you have?

What did you go to the GP? Ford the other day. He had a body of a 20 year old. That's what I'm talking about. I'm worried about being ill, but I haven't been ill in 10 years. It's quite a sturdy podcast, actually, on that front. None of us really get.

Well, no, but we are all men who just have unexplained diarrhea and get on with life. We were talking about this earlier, actually. Yeah, it's one of our producers has gluten intolerance. And I must definitely have gluten intolerance, but I do think it's an option.

I've been eating syracia for every day for about, you know, 12 years. Yeah. And my asshole's just got to deal with it. Yeah. That's what I've said. Yeah, I do think there's a level where it's, you can, if you just, if you speak it into existence.

It's microdosing. Yeah. Except it's not micro, I'm just, I'm dosing heavily on hot sauce. It's what everyone did before gluten intolerance. Yeah, you just have diarrhea now. Yeah, deal with it. And every time your diarrhea should be like, that's strange. You shouldn't be like, but that's a sequence of events.

Tuesday. No, the Tuesday morning. It's like, if anything is better. Well, it's a big sign of respect in some cultures. France. India. Can't start a business meeting until you've shot yourself in France, I believe. But we're not talking about business, we're talking about medicine.

And it's a fascinating topic. I didn't know quite how advanced we were quite so long ago. It'll be a big sweep this one. Now, you've got a nurse in the family, am I right? Yes, you've got many medical. Many medicals, really. In both mine and BB's family, it's filled with doctors. Really?

Yeah, on both sides. And are they of the new atheists? type? Are they a Mangalais Shipman or a letby? Maybe my cousins a bit of a letby. Really? Yeah, just sort of go... Cousin's a bit of a letby? Just hitting babies for six.

Camboating cricket stuff. And then one is a very good child psychiatrist who does think a lot of this mental health stuff is complete bollocks. Oh good. That's good. That's good. Child psychiatrists you think it's all bollocks. In what? What? The autism stuff. No, it's just over-diagnosing stuff.

Oh, totally. Yeah. Yeah. And he also So he's a very good man, but he did get flown out to do family psychiatry for unbelievably wealthy Swiss family, like succession stuff. Yes. And in his spare bedroom, there was just an original Rembrandt while he's staying over there. That's good stuff as well. What's the problem then? No, there's no problem there.

Exactly. Yeah. The family are clearly fine and they got Rembrandt in the spare. Yeah, come on. Guys. Right, let's get into it. Now, we are warning. we're going into prehistory.

Now, historians have concluded that in the prehistoric era there was a form of medicinal understanding which I still kind of think might be complete bollocks. But there would be, wouldn't it? If you... Animals have medicinal understandings of sorts, right? Do they?

If you have a broken leg, they know not to... They just kill you, leave the weakest behind, right? Because if you're a caveman and you've broken your leg, you're not going to run on it, you will, there will be some level of understanding, do you think? Or is that just, I'm looking at that with a modern understanding of medicine, don't you think?

I reckon, Charlie, you'd know. I would know, yeah. Doc cleaves, you just put a dock leave on it. Yeah. Dockleaf for a broken leg, is it? Enough dot cleaves, yeah, maybe. Enough, you need a shit ton of dock cleaves. Yeah.

Yeah, well, that's true, actually. I can imagine going on a country walk with Charlie. Someone breaks their leg and he goes, no, no, no, hang on, we just need more dog leaves, more, ripping up whole plants. Someone suicidal, he's just rubbing them on his head. Don't do it. I do like Dockle's as a save-all problem. What I try and do sometimes if I do hurt myself is,

is it possible to override the pain? If you break your leg and you really want to... Didn't you fucking pour a fried egg boiling pan on your head? I hit my head into a boiling egg pan. Yeah. When you say you haven't been ill for 10 years, I mean, the amount is not ill, I'm just hurt. Yeah, you're hurt.

Sorry, okay, that's different, is it right? I keep hurting myself. Yeah. But I was thinking... That's occupational hazard of being thick as shit. Shit. Are you headbutting a frying pan while it's on?

Anyway. If you really wanted to, can you override pain? If you break your leg and you're just like, my mum is in that house and she's getting

battered. What? My mom's getting battered in that house. There's loads of guys just kicking your mum. Yeah, and I've broken my leg. Can I override the pain to save her? Yeah, there's a level of adrenaline.

That's what adrenaline is, right? Yes, and also, I remember speaking to for some reason at our Christmas party I was speaking to a cameraman who worked on one

of our specials who said that he did he did ice plunges for like five minutes and he could hold his breath under water for like five seven minutes and he was just like

yeah you just fucking you just it's all up here was not all up here it's not though because it's some of it's in here some of it is definitely in here it's not a mental block not you can think yourself

into just drowning yeah like you're an idiot so yeah I'm sure there is a part of that where you just go. But there's all those made-up stories about old granny's having adrenaline, lifting up cars and stuff. You know,

those stories that didn't really have. People always bring that up, don't they? I've not heard of it. No, when you get like a mad adrenaline, adrenaline can give you insane strength. Power,

so like if a kid's trapped on a car and you have this insane adrenaline, people can have huge feats of strength, which I don't fully believe. Now, supposedly early humans would close deep gashes and cuts using ants. So what they would do,

do. Not that sort of gash. No, no, in no society, is closing gash a synonym for sex, all right? I think it is. Like fucking Glengarry, Glenn Gash, always be closing gash. Now, what they would do,

looking at a photo now, is that they would get, like, ants, right? And they'd basically shove them in the cut and get the ant to, like, clamp. And then they rip its body off. Yeah, so leaving the head just kind of almost like a stitch.

there. And they found this in bodies that are what, five, six thousand years old. Yeah. Supposed. That's clever. How are they still about? Hey?

How are the bodies still about? So there's a guy called, is it Otsey, the Iceman? Yeah. Who is found in maybe Germany. A lot of this stuff is in Germany, a thing, or Turkey. Anyway, so he lived

at around, they think, 3,200 BC. So that's Stonehenge time. Is it? Yeah. Well, when they started Stonehenge or when they finished it? I think. Remember, it took a thousand years.

I think it was, when they finished it. Right, what is it, Charlie? If you saw that guy serving you like a burger. Burger, right? At a festival. I can picture that. I can picture that.

Yeah. There are guys like that. I saw a guy like that coming on the tube today. Yeah. Yeah. They're called homeless people, Charlie. What's your point? No, he just, um, I can imagine him with like a roly and a, uh, little hula hoop.

I had homeless guy on the tube, uh, yesterday, coming back from this podcast, who was sitting down on the tube. and he just whispered saying, and I have a little bit of change. I like that. It's an interesting... I like that. I don't know why

more honest people don't do that because the announcing to the carriage. It's street theatre. I don't want any part of it. Yeah, but I'm sat down next to someone. Sit down, shake my hand. You want any money? Yeah, do you...

Yeah, I do actually. Do you want some? Now, Oertsey the Ice Man, right? So he was, basically, he'd been perfectly preserved. Because I was asking a question about this, because I read this last night,

I thought, there's bollocks, there's no way they know this. So they found that he was buried with a little prehistoric medical kit which had a kind of birch polypof fungus

to treat Lyme disease because he'd been basically frozen in a glacier for 5,000 years so when they uncovered him his entire like soft tissue organs were all still intact they then got genetics on it and they found traces of what

it's the oldest known form of Lyme disease they then found slow berries which were supposed to ease dizziness and like moss which was a type of antiseptic so that's him there yeah so they found him perfectly

preserved well he's not perfect well no I mean he's fucked isn't he completely fucked he's not on the tube sitting down asking for money what's that I smell cooking it's a new sponsor holy shit

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So, yeah, even cavemen were kind of aware. They were foraging for berries and herbs and shit. But that doesn't surprise you, right? Does that surprise you? Um, I don't know. It does a bit. We've been transitioning from monkeys for like a million years.

Yeah. And this was only like 5,000 years ago. You'd think that we'd... I guess so. I guess so. So it actually has not moved that far. No. In that time period.

But do you reckon there was a... It took 10 million years to think of berries. Do you reckon there was a prehistoric like shipment who would give you the wrong berry? And then be like, when does... When does... And then close his eyes.

And his family were like, I swear he was fine. This home visit. I don't know where Shipman's syndrome comes into it. Will we talking about shipment on the Patreon? Yeah, we will do. Shippers. Is that an evolution in the scale?

Is he a sort of... He's the level beyond me, certainly. Yeah. The kind serial killer. Pour one out for shippers, wherever you're listening. Pour your drink out. Keyworker. Key worker.

I'm banging my pots for shippers. Now, trepination, which is what we did to Emily Davidson after she tried to suck off the king's horse. What's that? Just crack a hole in her head to let the blood out of the pressure out. that's one of the oldest forms of surgery. Right. So drilling a hole in the head of an alive person

to let out some pressure. If you've got a migraine, it sort of makes sense. If you've got a splitting headache, it's all that you'd instinctually just like fucking... Yeah. So at some Neolithic burial sites, as many as 30% of the skulls show evidence of this. Right.

And is it the Inca's? They were the main guys. Right. Supposed. And again, I don't really know how they fucking know this. By the 1400s, Inca surgeons had achieved an 80% survival. How on earth do they know that?

Well, I guess that's when the Spanish arrived, right? Yeah. So maybe there's something there. I don't know. I throw doubt on those. But when humans start settling, when agriculture begins, this is where your sniffly noses start because we start living with animals.

So before then, are we not getting a lot of diseases then? No. You're sort of chilling out? No. It's mainly broken bones. it's when we start living with livestock, living with pets, using animal,

domesticating animals. The first cold, Charlie, do you know where the first cold comes from? Pigs. Camel. Thank you. Thank you.

A camel was the first animal to give us a cold, but the camel had got it from a bat. Bats are always the problem. Bats are fucked. I think personally let's kill all bats. Right. Might as well.

Yeah. But I'm thinking... I don't know what they're added. Does it bring me joy? No. Declutter bats. I'm thinking on the macro level. Doctors today are thinking on the micro. What's wrong with you?

I'm thinking we're getting all this from bats. So just kill them all. They're amazing. Look at that. What the fuck? No, it's not. Is that his ball? That's crazy. It's like a fox.

They're so evil. Can you zoom in on this ball? That's insane. Crazy. You know what else I think is mad? Hang on. With like a sort of leather matrix. It's got a fucking...

Yeah, it's all they're awful. They are awful. You know what I think is the most amazing one though? Is kangaroos. Wow. Yeah, you've said this before. They're unbelievable. Right.

Is anything more... They're just shredded. I always think about... I just think about them when I'm... Usually when I'm in... Nothing. Nothing. Right.

That's quite rare. Very rare. It's rare that he's... Let's focus on the baton. Look. It's like he's evolving. It is. He's evolving before our eyes.

that's crazy that's nothing if your boy had that boy if my boy was hanging upside down with balls that were the same colour as his face but not his body and he had leather balls

yeah I'd have some questions yeah because that's not coming from my side of the family yeah but Charlie doesn't really want the answer you just want to say the question yeah yeah there's no care about the answer no not at all

thank you for answering this so that's it but it's interesting that animals is, because I sort of have hay fever in the summer and then a sort of low level permanent cold. You're chronically ill though. I've got, I'm, I've got, I'm yeah, I've got... I've got... I've got... Yeah, I've got... Yeah, I've got...

You're buying fibre powder? Yes, I'm, I am, and I'm on Reddit forums. Yeah. Chronically ill people. Now, listen, don't get me wrong. I'm subscribed to an olive oil company and Dr. Sarah has seen me right. I don't know if that's chronically ill. No, it's not. It's not. I'm relating to you on that. No, I'm not. I'm just saying it's my own fad that I've signed up for. But I've always got the sniffles. Shout out. Dr. Sarah? And is that always...

Brian Sarah. Dr. Brian Sarah. Sorry, you've always got the sniffles. Yeah, so is that because there's animals in our society, basically? Yeah, you can't get out. You gotta stop fucking camels with my prescription.

Yeah, it's influenza which we get from pigs and ducks and then domestic pets they think it starts like coughs and stuff. But now we're just bags of these animal viruses, right? So even if we got rid of all animals, and maybe they'd eventually go or is that they're now just fizzing around now

they're just going to keep. Well, they keep adapting, don't they? To get weaker, supposedly. Anyway, ancient Egypt, obviously, they're doing some stuff. They find a 15-foot surgical text, which is what we say would be the earliest clinical observations.

So infected wounds or eyes are smeared with crocodile dung, fly droppings, pelican fat, and other feces. Other feces. Other feces. They're not going to even. even list it because it's box other

feces brackets other don't other don't other my feces can you please can you send to my feces in this story please yeah okay I don't like how you keep othering my feces yeah my feces are not meant to be on the margins but once again as we say anytime in this podcast

it's about trial and error it's very easy in hindsight to say it's ridiculous to just smear shit on someone's eyes but they don't know Well, we have the benefit of thousands of years of eyesight. What I do quite like about this is right, is that Egyptian contraception was to mix fresh crocodile dung with fermented sour milk, insert that into the vagina,

and that was your contraceptive. Is that to stop people fucking you? Because you've got shit up your funny. Well, no, as we know, it's a beef Wellington, right? So it's an early Asian Egyptian beef Wellington. Charlie was so excited to say something. And then as soon as you said it was like, but what I find funny is that,

he's like a concert and he's like a concert and he's just played the song he wants I hope they do they're not gonna oh fuck he's been Wellington but what I find

what I find funny about this is that so someone comes to a doctor in Egypt and goes my eye heard he's like yeah you want cow shit and then someone else is like

yeah I need to stop getting pregnant he's like you know the cow shit again there's the eye who's found a lot of crocodile shit and he's just smearing he's trying to get rid of it yeah yeah

he's like oh you'll want some crocodile shit on that Trying to shift it. So what's it? Is this them showing shit up the fannies? Crocodile shit up the fannies. Now, what is it about crocodile shit that makes it so deadly

to male sperm? Hmm? Can you Google? Why is crocodile done? Any sperm against a poo? I don't think it works. What would mean any sperm against a poo? It's not rock paper cysts.

Spurn poo vagina. Spurred poo vagina. Peri blood. Poo's winning every time. Well, no, I don't think it is. Burn versus Poo. Charlie, can you Google what properties does crocodile dunes have? It's shit.

I think I agree with Charlie here. No, no, because why... It is just any shit. No, no. Give the... Poor cump, me. Give the Egyptian some credit. My poor cumb.

Give the Egyptians some credit. They could have used any number of shit, but they supposedly found crocodile dung to have the right property. Because it is alkaline. Thank you. Now, Charlie, your shits are acidic. I'll tell you that right now. Can you go for different animal shits on the alkaline to acidic scale?

Please. This is a science episode. We must find out a, when you want to whiskey. I digress, you were right. There is a specific. Thank you. A surprisingly wide range in the pH scale. Most livestock manure leans alkaline,

while carnivore waste, dog or cat poo, leans acidic. There you go. So when women are trying to get the, pH balance of their fannies. Don't get poo. Or you could offset it with some poo. No, but it's the right sort of poo. Don't be getting...

That's exactly it. Ladies, if you're listening, good health tip. Do not be putting chicken shit up your fanny. It's acidic. You need something a bit more like crocodile or if you can't find a crocodile sheep or goat. Goat, goat will do it. Goat poo, which is also the worst smelling.

That is a good contraceptive. What's wrong we get? What's the whole thing with the pH balance of the fanny? Do you know about this? Sorry? Do you know about the pH balance of the funny? What's all going on there? Well, I believe women... Why are they seasoning it?

Why is it like... I believe it's a natural bread factory down there, right? Is it like acid heat? It's like trying to make an umami sort of. No, it's a bakery down there, right? And there's yeast that's involved if it gets too wrong. Wait, oh, so if it's acidic, you make sourdough? Yes.

Right. Well, women have a sourdough starter down there. You know, and it's like, it's always going. Right. It's perpetual stew. Right. So sourdough starts with the back of the fridge that you haven't touched for it since lockdown.

Right. So what's going on down there. Unless you manage your pH, I in my understanding. Yes. There you go. There's a feminist baked sourdough bread using her own vaginal yeast.

That will show them. That will show them. Now what message... Now when they say feminist, I mean, because that sort of sounds like a porn title. Yeah. Yeah.

When you say feminist, is that... Was she doing that on the side? Or is that part of her political... This is what feminist tastes like. He's got pants on down there. Yeah. I mean, listen,

activism's gone a long way. But then you also wonder why people have kind of have stereotypes about feminists owned, book shops, bakeries. It's because you're doing this sort of stuff.

Yeah. We come and we don't know what you're doing. Yeah. We know that you're going to be making stuff out of your fan of you. You're making a point out of it. You know,

because I just want to live of bread, love. You know? Yeah. If it was certified and not going to make you ill, do you think that would take off in the country? If they went on Dragon's Den and said, I've got Pum Bread.

Would you... I don't think it would take off, but I think you could... Think about Gwyneth Parenthood's Pousy candles. I would say the guys that are into it, I would be suspicious of. Is Peter Jones investing in Pum Bread? Well, I think you could do it as a... You go undercover as Pum Bread to catch out the kind of guys who'd buy it. And so then you want to...

You go on Dragon's Den, you sell it, and anyone who buys it, you're arrest. Duncan Baner Tain is definitely going for Pumbread. I'm not buying Debrain's Pum bread. I'll tell you that now. I'm not buying it I think I don't care how cheap you make it I don't care how budget it is

right I can tell from my face it'll be too acidic for my toast Whose pen bread would you Would you not mind Sorry would I buy Yeah I guess mateless you'd buy

Maitless as pun bread Fuck me I'd drink it I'd blend it Blend it I'd blend sauce Orange I'd make porridge

I'd make porridge out I'd make this Fucking out Should you try and get Come on Petition of that House of Commons. Force weightless of a pub red.

We've got to stop talking about vaginal pH. So, ancient Egyptians, they're shoving crocodile dung up fannies. You know, so what are the Greeks doing? Okay, the Greeks, the Hippocrates. Is that horrible hypocritesies? When we're talking about, like, innovation is the bedside, you're starting a pretty low ebb at the moment.

It's quite easy to be the next bullet point in this story, I feel. That is true. Well, yes, because you've gone from berries to just crocodile poo. and then, you know, the first genius that we encounter is a guy who realizes that maybe crocodile poo isn't a silver bullet for literally all human ailments that they think it is. You know, is the, what's that?

Is there something work better than the cure? Is the cure a bit worse than the disease? Right. Yeah, is the disease better than the cure? You know, if you're shoving crocodile shit up, your family. You got other things to worry about. Exactly. So the first, there's a Greek god.

But it's interesting that it would work as a contraceptive now. Well, yeah, in the same way. that's just smearing poo of yourself. No one wants to fuck it. So yeah. But the, so there's an ancient Greek god of healing called Aslepios. And he is where we get the symbol, which I think is now only really in GTA, of a rod with wrapped in a snake. Because snakes would slither through the temples because they symbolize rebirth by shedding their skin. Anyway, let's get to Hippocrates, because he's the first proper doctor in ancient Greece.

that's where we get the Hippocratius Hypocratic oath Don't kill people Well you know unless You've got a lot of diomorphine And you think I'm in Greater Manchester A lot of these people need to be put down You know

Yeah so I guess Do you think Shipman Pitch an amendment To the Hippocratic Oath The First Amendment The Shipman amendment You know why aren't Constitution Constitutions are constantly being amended

Don't they? You know they're not finished Yeah It's true Because Hippocrates Never lived in Greater Manchester you know, have you been to Stockport? I don't think so.

It's tough. It's tough out there. And what? Do you have a lot of sympathy for... I was walking around thinking, you know what? I get it, actually. You know, I get it. Sometimes I'll walk around regional high streets and I think,

fucking shipment could do a lot of... Do a lot of good here. Yeah, hypocrisy. I wish he was alive today. My doctor. Yeah. Hippocrates. So he publishes a sort of like a big,

what, a big fucking book about being a doctor. does he? I don't know. Yeah. This is about 400 BC. He writes this. Do no harm. Do no harm.

But first do no harm. But first do no harm. But first, unlike the Egyptian oath, which is but first, but first, crocodile shit. Yeah. Smear that on your fanny. That's the first thing you do. Okay. But also, do you think shipment listens to this, but first do no harm.

And then second. Kill them. Yeah. Because it's a step by step, right? Exactly. Yeah. Well, he doesn't kill them out the gate. Exactly.

He gets to know them. Gets to know them. Home visit. you know, earns their trust sidles into the will you know, but fifth kill them in their sleeve.

I accused of being heroin addicts which is kind of awesome. Is that what you did? Yeah. Awesome. We'll be talking about shippers on the patron. We must save ourselves.

So, Hippocratic physicians, these are Greek doctors who I guess are following in the Hippocratic way. They would like, they would taste a patient's urine in order to check for symptoms of a disease.

So if it was very sweet, it would indicate diabetes. Do they know about diabetes? That feels quite advanced for this. No, but I mean, I guess, I guess they don't know. What do they think it is? That's a good point. Is there like a Greek Ed Gamble doing a show about it?

No, because diabetes only really gets, you weren't living much past like infancy if you were diabetic until probably 100 years ago. Oh, right, right. Because they didn't discover incident until about 100 or old years ago or something. And does the piss test still work? Yes, absolutely. But we've moved on from it.

Okay. Diabetics nowadays, Sweet piss. If you're going to drink someone's piss, would you rather they be a diabetic? Well, it would need to be a diabetic in a state of having a high, high blood sugar.

So on the verge of ketosis, if you're talking from a taste perspective, that's probably... If you're taking your morality out of it, the best tasting piss will be a diabetic on the brink of disaster. Okay. It would taste like...

It's like... Honey or sugar water? Uncontrolled diabetic urine tastes like honey. Yeah. I mean, that's a nice little... That's a delicate... It is a delicacy. It's, I guess if we, were we conquered by an alien species who farmed us?

Yes. As we farm the cows, they would maybe harvest diabetics on the verge of death for their sweet honeywater piss. And then, like, blue-head libit-tard aliens would be like, hey guys, that's really cruel on the diabetics because actually you're making them really stressed and dying. So agree with six arms. Six arms, they still got the fringe and a big septum piercing. Actually,

guys, I think diabetics. Do you know, yeah? Because nowadays, obviously, those cunts are going on about prawns

and how it's cruel. But I'm like, I don't have any sentient sympathy for prawns. They're bugs. Fuck them off. I like in this example, even though they're trying

to defend humans as a species and you. On the alien side. You're still going, you libt hard cuck. As you're being farmed for your piss. I'm not diabetic, though. I'm not diabetic. If you're the one saying,

I'd rather be farmed. But I guess maybe they'd be pushing us into states of type 2. So they'd be forced feeding us. If you were trying to McDonald's it. Yeah. So Hippocrates is tasting piss. They would also smell a patient's breath

or lick their earwax to try and judge the internal. Okay, now it's getting a bit sexy. Yeah. but it's Greece, isn't it? Yeah. You know, and this is all about the humours and stuff,

which I think we've dealt with before. So would they be called doctors but they're probably seen as healers at this point? But it does feel weird. You're going to your GP, but it's an old guy who's licking your ears, drinking your piss. Yeah.

Like it does feel like, it feels like a very different experience to go to go to the GP now. Well, yes, you know, you're not, you feel a bit,

I'm going to go check with that old guy who's going to start just. Just a piss some L.A., just Tom Gil being, you're pissed. Oh, hmm. No.

What is it, Charlie? How far would you let them... Because in the environment of being seen by a GP or a health professional, I think I'm much more likely to let them do kind of whatever they want to me. Do we want? Sort of.

I mean, how far would you let... At what point are you like, enough is enough? This is crazy. You've got like... Well, this is the white coat syndrome. It's not a syndrome, is it? It's the Milgram experiment, isn't it? Yeah.

It's about how much we trust... Authority figures. We trust people with white lab coats to tell you anything. It's why people, who steal carburetas or whatever from cars are always wearing high-vis because you don't question someone

of working on a car if they're wearing high-vis. Yeah. If we do a new Milgram experiment then how close can we get before they eat your anales? Dentists jailed for molesting patient. A dentist who molested to a patient in three years in Britain today gave his victim an injection of sedative and then honked on her boobs. I'm only laughing because Molly the researcher did that behind the screen

I mean, yeah, there's a level of like, you know, all the possibilities that does feel like a relatively harmless crime. Yeah. The shooter doesn't know about it. No. Maybe he gives her money off. Right. I'm going to take your wisdom teeth out. When you wake up, your tits might be a bit sore.

She woke up mid-crow. Well, that's... Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMDM and Game Sense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2,600 to speak to an advisor. Free of charge.

BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Want to know what's happening in U.S. politics without getting too depressed? American friction could be the answer. Every Monday and Friday, we analyze the biggest news, characters, and mishaps in America. That's American Friction. Find it wherever you get your podcasts. That's, well, yeah, you blame the anesthetist. That's the dental nurse's fault. So, dissection comes from the Latin, Diccarde, which means cut to pieces. Now, the Greeks performed this, but there was a Roman guy who was the main goat of dissection.

They really get into it. Galen of Pergerman, the titan of Roman medicine. Now, in ancient Rome, cutting open of human corpse was illegal, but he, bypasses this law by doing it on animals, pigs and goats. And he would do this kind of magic trick where he would cut open a pig and he'd slice the larynx of a live squealing pig and then it would silence the pig but the pig would still be alive and breathing, proving that the voice was controlled by the brain rather than the heart.

This becomes dogma and so the Catholic Church seen no need for further experimentation. which means the church is forbidden, forbids dissection for the next 1,300 years. Well, they're like, we completed dissection. We've got it. Right. We've got it now. Which is probably why it's things like that that I guess usher in the dark ages.

Because they just think they've absolutely cracked it. Yeah. Pig, voice. Done. Before we carry on with the timeline, let's go into what other parts of the world we're doing at this time. Because obviously you've got traditional Eastern medicines, which are, you know, to our minds are all bollocks.

But at this point, Western medicine's bollocks. Right. Catnip to white women, though, this stuff. Still to this day, they can't get enough of it. This is a female medicine. So you have shamans in what would be, what, the Meso-American point. These are kind of, they're wearing, they're wearing sort of trilbies, and they have, like, bum bags, and they're basically rapists, but they convince women that they're healers.

You know, you meet a shaman nowadays. Oh, you think it's like a rustle-round. Yeah, totally, totally. And they know lots and lots of long words. And a woman says no, but they go, but what does that mean in the macro sense? You know, you can talk themselves into a lot of trouble. So they believe that illness is a soul theft or a demonic possession.

So they would use a sort of surgery where they would use slight of hand to pretend that they were reaching into a patient's abdomen. So I think they do this in Indiana Jones. They go in, they pretend that they're doing this. and then they lift up like some animal entrails and go, oh,

as if they pull out their guts. But it's all theatre. And then they kind of throw that away as if they're banishing the... But is that like... That feels like quite woo-woo's... That's like embodying your trauma, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like a voododal kind of thing. That materialises the diseases they've just removed kind of thing. And they often... Shaman's often sacrificed guinea pigs because they thought they'd absorb a patient's illness. Yeah. Which is quite brutal, isn't it?

Then you get Iowaska, obviously, which is, I mean, that's a very old tradition. So, what, is that more like, that's health of the mind, I guess, or is that like? Ego death. More of the soul, isn't it? It purges you of trauma, I think, is the point. Now, where was ayahuasca started? Is it just Amazonian?

Yeah, because I am interested in doing it, but I would want to do it in the job. I'm not doing it in Croydon. Yes, no, no. I think you do have to go to a forest to do it. But it's a lot of bollocks even if you're doing it in South America at this point. Just loads of like rich Americans. Yeah. You may not do it in Croydon.

Do it in like... Yeah, let's do it easy. Do it in box park and Croydon. What, everyone chucking in the pint? Chuck in Iowa. You wouldn't do I-O-Ska, would you? No. Not interested.

Not massive. I mean, if somebody gives it to me, I might do it, but I'm not going to go and seek it out. Now, ancient India, of course, has a big system of medicine called Ayurveda, more than 3,000 years old, still... still widely practiced today. And there are five tenants of it. What is it? Like earth, fire, wind and diarrhea.

Right. And so this is the thing that Steve Jobs got mixed up in. You remember this? Steve Jobs got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, which is normally like instant death, you're dead in two months. He was one of the 5% of pancreatic cancers that are very slow moving,

where like instant. surgery would basically save him. But he goes, nah, brother, I've got beads for a door. Oh, so he like does the gandi. Gandy's... He treats himself like Gandy treats his wife.

Exactly. You should never treat yourself like Gandy treats his wife. So he then, he starts, he eats only fruit, fruit only diet, smoothies, eating ginger. And then nine months later,

he's like, I still feel quite bad actually. And the doctor's like, well, yeah, it's fed to your liver now. So... Does he then go to Western medicine, but it's too late? He then has surgery, but it's too late. He's completely riddled with tumours. God damn.

So, you know, in the rock paper scissors. He only eats fruit, it says. Yeah. Do you hear about go fruitarian dies? Check this out. So there's this, like a biohacking guy who believes that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm, I'll tell you what, I'm gobbling up.

Not them. I'm going to someone else. I'm gobbling up articles like this. Yeah, I love this stuff. I love this stuff. Well, there's a story basically, this like, guy who just said that the healthiest way to live was to only eat fruit. And he always show that. His body was just like the skin was hanging off him.

Yeah. And he just like collapsed dead at 60. And it's always nice when someone does a big. A big swing. Big swing of the big diet. Nature just takes out of them. You see what's happened to Brian Johnson? He's got a disease.

Brian Johnson disease. He's got autoimmune disease. Which to be honest, I wasn't ready for him to go down this quick with something. Do you know what I mean? I thought it would be a little longer. So let's go into what it is. Come on. This is a huge thing.

This is the guy that's on. the vanguard of health this is mentally the healthiest guy ever yeah I mean this is a guy who is he's setting himself up for hubris but I did not think it had happened this quickly short he's got autoimmune gastritis

and this is a man who is racing his 18 year old son's erections I mean this is unthinkable he's racing has come with his he's genuinely jerk racing with his son you know he's playing soggy biscuit with his son and then putting it under the microscope to see who's got quicker swimmers

I mean I mean this guy is at the van if he's falling down what hope is there for all of us you know I mean that that kind of It kind of bummed me out, to be honest. This guy has got years of erection data. Yeah. Yeah? My stomach is eating itself, he writes.

But he doesn't eat, he eats all his meals before 11. He eats like mushrooms and shit. He eats algae. Does this mean you might not even hit like 90 or something? Because if he's not, if he's not topping 100, then it's the whole thing's fucked. Yeah. He has to top 100. If Ethel Caterham, who I imagine is just eating, who by the way, we should say, is currently

is currently top of the leaderboard. Shout out. Time of recording. Don't die before this goes out, Ethel. Well, I think in the way that when someone's running the London Marathon and there's everyone waiting with water at different points, we need to do that with Ethel. Yeah.

So people should be going round with custard, keeping a go. On my olive oil. Yeah. Keep going. Dr. Sarah. If Dr. Sarah, if you're listening, please send. Dr. Brian Sarah. Not Dr. Brian Sarah.

Dr. Sarah Brewer, okay. The Cambridge educated crank, my words. Please send your olive oil. That's obviously definitely made in Burton. Please send it to Ethel catering. Pump her full of it. Pump her full of it. Yeah.

give her some friends. Not me, though. I don't like talking to old people. They creep me out. You all sent Charlie in. Care homes are depressing. So Brian Johnson, his stomach is eating itself. Well, yeah.

You're right, it is, but I kind of thought, like... I thought we'd go over a bit longer. But then also, you do see... I remember seeing, like, you see, like, ripped 80-year-olds every now and then. Yeah. And you're like, that's a bit. Shouldn't it?

Nah. I don't know about that. Don't know about that. Do you do puzzles. mate. Yeah. Why do you think he's so unlikable,

Brian Johnson? I think he's come around to him a little bit. Yeah. I haven't at all. You don't like him? No. I think it's just,

it's good that one guy's doing it and also. There's a nastiness. I don't know, there's a kind of, there's a sort of serious, exclusive nastiness to him.

There's a moralizing to it. Yeah. He is doing into research into endometriosis, which is when women won't stop going on about their period pains. It's a male problem.

where also people throw it in it's very popular for movement this because it's like yeah I would like you to just stop them going on about it stop doing improv troops stuff about it yeah I think the Edinburgh award this year went to an improv trip talking about endemioid but yeah he's people throw up Brian Johnson that he's a millionaire and not everyone going to live like this but it's fine I want one of the millionaires doing this yeah this is what a millionaire should be doing is finding shit out

and I am just interested to see how long he we're all just interested to see how long he lives Side note, ladies, if you're listening, if you're listening and you've got endometriosis, crocodile dung. Yeah. Shove it up there. Shove it up there. See what happens. Yeah. The old cures are the best.

Now, Chinese medicine, traditional Chinese medicine, still practice to this day. In most big shopping centres, there'll be just one Chinese medicine shop that no one goes in. This operates on the belief that the human body is a reflection of the universe governed by the balance of ying and yang. right so it says there's like a vital life energy called chi that flows through you and so what they they will I don't know what they do to like find out what how what your chi is they do they smell your breath or something but then they the acupuncture acupuncture does actually do something yeah because it's small small injuries stimulate your body's dopamine and anti-inflammatory responses so it is pain relief in a way

but if you're using that to cure cancer rather than manage pain then you know you fucked it basically so there is something to it but how there's no all that cheese stuff's all bullocks is that Tai Chi as well the fucking maybe stand no maybe no I think cheese

just a common word isn't it what is I tried to read a book about cheese called Tao Te Ching I was going through I was trying to like read my first books but they're all it's all kind of My first book. How old were you? 20.

Right. But it's just too hard to. Quite a big swing. First book, Tau Tichi Chi. It was Kensuki's Kingdom, then Tau Tiching. Yeah, you realize you liked Eastern, you know. But now I read. Literature.

What have I been reading? I'm still reading the softcore book. How far along are you in that? Nearly at the end. Which book is this? It's called Softcore. It's actually a really amazing book. It's about a sex worker.

No, it's not. It's a story of a sex worker in San Francisco who loses her boyfriend. friend Dino and she's trying to find him but it's just about how the most interesting takeaway is that kinks aren't always um sexy actually sometimes they're very relaxing and needed for people to calm down do that help you understand some of your sexual privacies yes sorry what is in um oh no anxiety kinks right so as in do you mind do you mind if we do some poo play not in a sexy way i just have had a stressful day at work is that is that what you mean yes i guess i guess I guess me and Finn are not particularly kinky people,

so it's quite hard to empathise with that. I'm not part of the kink community. That's what you said. Kinks, no, kinks give me anxiety. Yeah. Do you think we would be less highly strong if we were into poop?

If I came in and the last, the night before, I'd beef Wellington my wife. I think I'd, I think I'd be very different around the office. Because I think people would know, I'd just, yeah, I'd just, yeah, I'd just, yeah,

I'd smell it on me, yeah. Yeah. You know, but maybe, maybe we're wrong. Yeah, maybe it's very soothing. The other thing, I think, that if I like that and it opens a gate, I'm not working again, am I? I'm just going to sit in the house doing that.

Powing in Amanda. Well, it's just more like, what's the toilet now? It's a waste is what it is. You know, every time on the toilet, I'd be like, I could be fucking, that could be doing it in my wife's family now. What am I doing? What are we doing?

Yeah, I don't want my libido to be regulated by the same system as my bowels. Yeah. Okay? And I do think if yours, is you should be ashamed of it. Mine is not. No, I'm not saying it is, but I'm saying I think king shame is.

You're a big believer in shame. Yes. I think shame. You don't believe in shame. I think shame is a regulatory force in the universe like the Chinese think Chi is. I think shame stops people from doing things like that poo smearer in a supermarket. He has no shame. Okay.

Shame is a good force. It's, you know, there's a balance, moderation. Maybe guilt is good. Shame is bad. Interesting. No. Guilt, because shame is often inward. whereas guilt is like if you hurt somebody

you should feel bad if you hurt other people. If you're not being psychopath shitting all over your house then brilliant. I guess it's not good. You should be the prime minister. What I'm saying is basically shame often hurts you rather than nobody else.

It's societal pressure right? Yeah. It's enforced guilt right? Some societal pressure is good. As long as you're not hurting anyone else I don't see the massive issue. I think there should just be like shame cities that people can go to and be shameful.

Yeah, they were called churches. and we've killed God. So now... Yeah, but I mean, it's more like you can... Now, everyone's a paedophile. That's the history of the Western world. And Andy Berl is being all out of jail. There's just be a place where you're not judged,

but that shouldn't be everywhere. It's called Bergheim. Yeah. That's the logical end point of no shame. Yeah. Is you're queuing to get into a fucking warehouse or when you're naked on a leash being walked by a nun.

I mean, it doesn't sound, you know... Anyway. Sex offenders Village. What? Miracle Village is a small isolated community in rural South Florida. Florida, primarily in heaven

registered sex. Oh my God. How have we not discovered this? Is it too late to change my tour dates? I'll be playing the Theatre in Miracle Village. Palm Beach County near Pahoki. The enclave was created

specifically to address the severe housing challenges facing individuals on sex register. Is that it? Wow. Pidoville. It looks like Michael Jackson. What's he doing? He's having a monster. Well, he's loving the time of his life.

2009, formed by Christian Ministry, the village was built on a former agricultural housing site, miles away from schools, parks, or designated bus stops. So there's no schools in this village. Listen, why is King Charles building that fucking new town, right? Well, yeah, that... We should make Britain... I mean, we'd have Pedopolis in Britain.

You know? It would be a global centre. It'd be like Singapore. Pedopolis on Thames. Why are we not, you know, fucking build that. That would, everyone would sign up to live there. How many people live there? How many people live in, um,

Miracle Village? In Miracle, Miracle. Why is it called Miracle Village? What are you going to call it? What are you going to call it? Happy ending. 200. No, you call it Piedistown. Yeah, exactly.

That's like me. To be fair, Miracle Village, I get, but it's not an easy one to name. Miracle Village. You're trying to, like. So hang on. 80 of them aren't Pidos. What's going on there? What's going on there?

Is it the cheap rent? Can we look at rent for Miracle Village? Because rents are, the cost of living is really... Very easy to get planning permission in Miracle Village. There you go.

Target audience is 62 or old. This is a kind of retirement village. Pado's on the way out. Yeah. So they're retired from pedophilia? Yes. Yeah. Their jerseys up in the rafters.

Yeah. Bournemouth, but for Pidos. Which is Bournemouth, basically. It's still quite expensive. So I guess it's not like a huge where do they are the jobs is there an economy

is there a local economies or a shop in miracle village why is no one just why is no one attacking miracle village why is no even alone they've taken themselves away from you know risk areas it's the perfect place to go and just like unleash out well I guess yeah if you if you really want to just

batter up pedos then just no you'll be outnumbered you'll be outnumbered by the neighborhood watch community you know they fucking 120 also being attacked by 120 pedos would be crazy this is such a mess

Yeah, you'd love it. But like, do you think there's like a level of like, because society judges Padoes more than they judge anyone, do there's a level of once you're in Miracle Village. Yeah, you're right. You're right. That's a disgrace, isn't it? We're so judgy of Pidos. Let's get rid of shame. No, but I mean, in Miracle Village,

is there a level of freedom they feel of not being judged? Must be. There must be like a level of calm. Yeah. I don't know why just here in Miracle Village, I now sympathise with the people. It's nice that they can do that. Miracle Village, I can be who I want to be.

But part of me is like it's... I don't have to hide. No, but they can't really, because they can't really be pedos. They're just pedos without a cause. They're just like fucking... The pido's without a cause? The Charlie Mons. This is a place where you're not constantly looking over your shoulder,

wondering if the police are going to knock on your door because you're standing too close to a school bus stop. Without this place, I'll be living under a bridge somewhere in Miami. Yeah, that's the thing, you know? If you're standing near a school bus stop, because there are so many school bus stops, get rid of the bus stops. Now this is an interesting question.

Would you have a fake school so they could feel... Well, this is what they do in Japan. Well, the child sex dolls. Child sex dolls. And this is the big argument. Patrons, new petition, send a box of child sex dolls to Miracle Village in Florida. What's your genuine view on that? It's an interesting moral dilemma, right?

Yeah. Should people be able to enact evil to stop them doing it to actual people? I would say it's personally a bit rich for my personal blood. What's sending... No, no, no. Having a child sex doll. It's the only a show I care about. it's the one political issue that I will always bring up

and they're only thing I have an opinion on personally I would say that child sex dolls I find icky but I think they're better than child porn so I think a paed of all having a child sex doll I'm I would think you're super four you're a mate you really the main thing you care about

I will stand I have a rosette saying child sex dolls for pidos you're weirdly into it I'm weirdly into it we do have to carry on the story because I mean, Miracle Village has been a long detail, but it takes quite a while to get there.

Yes, it does. So it's going in the middle of nowhere. Right, let's get back to the dissection and anatomy in the Renaissance. That's when it really kicks off. Da Vinci starts knocking about because the Catholic Church

suddenly starts allowing dissection again in 1315. So Da Vinci secretly dissects more than 30 human bodies in morgue between 1418, 1515, and produces over 240 anatomical drawings. He studies the hearts chambers and valves. This is crazy. I didn't realize DaVinci did all this.

I mean, he's doing helicopters. He's doing the fucking... He's the polymath, right? He is the polymath, isn't it? And he planned to publish a big anatomy book, but he died before he could. Now, interestingly, in the 16th century, you had barber surgeons. what because they they in that a surgeon was someone who was a barber

in the same way that you have like key cutter cobblers yes exactly timsons you go there have a haircut and you go actually while you're there could you um just do some open heart surgery yeah um so hemly the eight short back inside to my heart please allows the company a barber surgeon to dissect the bodies of four executed criminals each year uh and so this is when anatomy theaters

I talked a lot about this in the Birkenhair patron, yes. These events are sort of theatrical crowds are talking, eating, sometimes fighting, there was once a duel during a dissection.

So like a jongler's sort of crowd. Yeah, it does, actually. Which, I mean, they are public dissection, don't they? It's just crowd work. That's what that is now, isn't it? Is comedian destroys front row. You know, in this day and age,

it's their job. Does dice, yeah, yeah, calls them a paedophile and then everyone claps. Now, university's Doctors refuse to get their hands dirty. So they'd get their barber surgeons because those were seen as... I guess this is where Britain's a bit like the Indian car system

in that it's like those jobs are not for... Yes. They're for barbers surgeons. And this is why a barber pole is red and white because the white stripe symbolises the clean bandages and the red stripe represents blood. And the pole itself symbolises the wooden staff patients would grip during bloodletting.

Christ. So that's why barbers are like that. Isn't that interesting? It is interesting. Really interesting. The things we learn on this podcast. Barber's why Barber has that thing. Miracle Village exists.

So the reason it's that shape is because that's what people would hold on to as they're having their blood drained out of them. How honest to do with your barber if you don't like what they've done? I wouldn't. I just wouldn't go there again. But would you be like, thank you so much. No, I'd just be like, oh, thanks. Yeah, thanks, mate.

It has to be gained. I mean, you can make them go back and do more. But if they've gone too far, there's nothing you can get to do it. But when you find a barber, you'd, treasure you just never let him go. Shout out Spencer and Broccoli. Let's go. He's my guy.

I just do it in the bath. Ian. What? I cut my own hair in the bath. I am my own barber. Yeah. A barber's a little barber. Before COVID, I think.

Really? Just me or my mates who do it. And I like it that way. Yeah. Yeah. So you're just buzzing it. But my mom gave my dad a haircut during COVID that made him look like Himmler. It was very funny on the WhatsApp chat.

Was she trying to? No, that's not her thing It's not her king Um Yeah My dad did My dad did look like that Yeah

He's holding on to that headline Real sharp cut Um So this is This is Islamic golden age Alchemy Right So alchemists were seeking

To transform ordinary metals Into gold To create the so-called Philosopher Stone Which would be the Key, the Grant Eternal Life In Harry Potter

But also But that's why that's called that Because the Muslim stone was a concept, a Muslim concept before Harry Potter. So it's about Islam. Yes. It's J.K. Rowling's attack on Islam. Is Harry Potter on the Philosopher's Stone? So they're searching for magical substances.

So Brian Johnson is searching for the philosopher's stone. But he's got his stomach eating himself and he's fucked it. That's what he says to his son. He's like, no, can you get a hard on? Yeah, please. I'm looking for the philosopher's stone. But in looking for it, they develop laboratory techniques like distillation, etc. And now, in terms of talking about alchemy, there's a guy called Henning Brand, who boils around

5,000 litres of urine in his quest to make gold. By doing this, he accidentally discovers phosphorus, which is this glowing element, seems so mysterious, it was briefly thought to possess magical powers. Now, how did he use the phosphorus? That's what I want to know. Did he use it in anything? What do we use phosphorus for now? Just glowing stuff?

Welding, I think. welding, he says. He says. I mean, it's a good pull from you, Charlie. But yeah, boiling, boiling piss. But how has he got five and a half thousand? It would make gold less special if you could reverse engineering. It's boiled piss.

Industrial uses. How do you use phosphol flame retardants? Oh, it's fertilizer, isn't it? Glass or steel. Yeah. Bones and teeth. So there you go. So before the 17th century,

they're still going on this belief that Gallen, the Roman had, found that blood was continuously produced by the liver and then consumed by the body. But in 1628, English physician William Harvey overturns the idea by demonstrating that the heart is actually a pump. And so he makes this set of illustrations that are thought to be the oldest in the world.

And they consist of like real human veins, arteries and nerves preserved on wooden boards. That's an Italian guy called Giovanni Leone. Right. Anyway, I think we'll probably have to leave this episode here. In our next episode, we will get into the Victorian medicine. There we go. Phrenology.

We will encounter Friends of the Pod, Mengaleigh, Shipman and Let Be once more. We will get into biohacking and the story of AIDS. What a time that will be. On the Patreon this week, we are discussing Friend of the Pod Harold Shipman. It's a big one. I'm pumped. For £3 a month, you can start. up and get early access and some of our fruitier takes are on the Patreon.

For sure. Blazers off. The blazers come off and the takes get really hot. See you there. If not, we'll see you on Thursday for part two of the medicine story. Goodbye from all of us here.