Fin vs History - Neville Chamberlain’s Broken Bum | Dunkirk Part 1: Phoney War

Episode Date: August 4, 2025

As war breaks out, the British realise their prime minister has a broken bum, and the first stop on Hitler’s stag is Scandinavia. Norway? Way. The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened.  Secure your privacy with Surfshark! Enter coupon code FVH for an extra 4 months at https://surfshark.com/fvh For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/fintaylor CHAPTERS: 00:00 Start the Boats 05:11 I am Bonnie Blue 09:41 Chamberlain Gets Cucked 16:18 Churchill in the Wilderness 19:00 Operation Himmler 22:48 Smelly Hairy French Soldiers 29:10 Phoney War 32:55 Norway Invasion Plans 38:30 Operation Wilfred 42:51 Vidkun Quisling 49:46 Chamberlain's Bum Goes 52:19 Churchill The Boozehound 55:26 Nazi Stag Do Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome back to Finn versus history. As ever, I'm joined by Horatio Gould. We'll bum them in the sex clubs. Today, it's the start of Britain's complicated relationship with small boats. Yeah. It's Dunkirk. The love-hate relationship this country has with, The small vessel.

Oh, so now you don't want the boats. Oh, I see. Right. Oh, so now start the boats. That's what they said. This was very much the era of start the boats. Start the boats. When did it become stop the boats?

Basically, yeah, probably June 141. It was only start the boats for one week in British history. Yeah. This is the week of starting the boats. What beautiful boats they were. A lot of small boats. The boats are fine to arrive if they've been to get British people back. That's the whole point.

That's the point. Yeah. If there's any children, any refugees in it, well, stop that. Stop that. No, thank you. We are picking up our series that we started, I don't know when. It was kind of the first proper series we did. Yeah, if you've been listening to this for a while, if you're a patron, you'll know that we started this on the Patreon podcast that we used to do.

And we did a four-part series on the rise of the Nazis. Yes. And then we got to the start of World War II. I realized we didn't know as much we thought. We didn't fucking know anything. It turns out, which even for us, it turns out we had no fucking clue what happened. happened to the thing that we say we like the most. But today that we're picking up on World War II, fellas, lock yourself in the cupboards.

Get the bag on your head. Get the bag on your head. And just start fucking going to town. Get the belt around your neck. I'm out. No, I'm going out. Tell the wife to go away. We're getting into World War II.

This is the red as the red meat. I mean, this is, I think also the beginning of the war is as as it is as well. because it's kind of the bit of a duller part, it's a bit more. It gets frutier, the more it gets the long. You know, you start going to like the Pacific Theatre.

Oh, you know, it starts getting a little bit more exotic. This is on a cold, wet beach in Dunkirk. Yes, can they do it in a cold wet night in Dunkirk? This is real.

They can. Yeah, this is the Britannia on a Tuesday. Yes, it is. Yes, it is, exactly. Because even Stalingrad, that's so big. Starlingrad's gay. Yeah, this.

Two fronts. War on two fronts is gay. It's the bloodiest kind of battle. There's a real explosiveness to Starlight Grail. This is, they might all, oh, they don't. Okay. Okay, fine. Oh, they got away.

This is a heroic retreat. This is so baked into the British psyche. This is... The most important year in British history, 1066, 1940, right? Those are the big two years. These five days are the most important in the world history, you could say. Or from, you know, the Hitler's... perspective.

This is the great what... Will you see everything through Hitler's perspective? Yes, I'm an Nazi. I'm a Nazi apologist. I think I've made that very clear. Even when he did the Renaissance, it was like, what would Hitler?

I mean, he does like painting, but... Well, this is Hitler's Renaissance. You're a great empath, is what you are. Yes. But for one man. Yeah. If anything, I've got too much empathy for one man. He's an empath.

That's what's great about the thing. Is he generally an anti-apologist? No, the thing about Finn is he just sees... He's a selective empath. He sees... He sees... All perspectives apart from, apart from any of them apart from this one.

You see, one perspective. Yeah. From Hittler's point of view, this is the great what if. The great, you know, sliding doors moment is if he'd finished us off at Dunkirk, we would now be in the Indian summer for a thousand year,

right? Also, what's very funny is that from the French perspective, they fucking hate this. Yeah, because this is like, oh, we'll see you then. For us, for the Brits, this is like, oh, this is Rourke's Drift on a beach. This is the myth that we built our entire post-war British identity. Yeah, this is literally year zero for the British sense themselves in 2025 or wherever we are now.

For the French, they're like, oh, fuck off. What? What do you mean you're going? For the French, this is a rubbish story. Yeah, this is. Yeah, this is a terrible story. It's the start of their worst story. I mean, they really don't cover themselves in glory

and go back over the... Oh, they fuck it so hard. But this is also part of the British dad law. This is pure British post-war dad law is the French has springs under their arms. Yeah. That's my dad's always saying, you know, the amount of jokes my dad has about surrender.

Oh, you're going to shake the hand. Oh, no, no, no, take it, take it, take it. Oh, sorry. Cheese eating surrender monkeys, as Donald Rumsfeld called them. So in this series, will be dealing with pretty much from the outbreak of war the Western theatre

of the war up until the evacuation at Dunkirk. How are you how much do you like Dunkirk as a topic? Because it's obviously it's like it's hard to know how much you actually like it because it's just rammed down your throat. Yeah but gladly though. I'm like a basking shark looking

for someone to ram World War II. You're Bonnie Blue. I am Bonnie Blue. I'm Bonnie Blue. I'm Bonnie Blue at a landing craft just taking 313 1,000 allied troops. Bonnie Blue fucks the entire expeditionary force.

You're meant to bring them home. You don't need to have post-nuck clarity on the beach. They're still there, Bonnie. I think that's her next. That's her next stunt.

None of this is like David Blaine the box shit. Yeah. Why don't you suck off the entire strand in expeditionary force? Well, that'd be a great porn film is you get

200,000 men. I'd love that. 200,000 men stuck on the beaches of Dunkirk. Yeah. And it's like, there's a boat we're saved. And it's just

Bonnie and they're all just like completely drained sucked dry The HMS Lily Phillips As the Nazis arrive Yeah Yeah But the Lufaff are strafing them

From the skies While Bonnie Blues Just sucking them all off And the men are queuing They're all lined up on the mole One at a time Then they just fall into the sea After they come

Is what they do? Yeah valiantly die Sorry Charlie how That's a massive baby That's huge Now what country It's British Pate

Is that a British baby? This is Leslie Boles. He's the fastest baby in the world. Sorry, Leslie, what? Boles. Leslie Bows. Bals. Leslie Bows.

That's amazing. Now, how old is she, Leslie about that footage? I think it's a he, and I don't know if he's got any legs. He's got legs, he's a baby. Oh, is he on his knees? Yeah. Right. How old is that child?

He is, this is 1935. Wow. That's an exceptional. That's a 10 stone baby. In Dunkirk, he'd have been five. Right. And obviously, he's not. was not evacuated because he'd sink any ship he gets on.

That's a baby. That's extraordinary. How old is Leslie? Because in the top gear leaderboard of the biggest babies of all time. Do we have the numbers? That's amazing. But also in the 30s, Britain, what are you getting that fat off? Is it pure lard?

Is that what's putting the pounds on there? Spam. Spam. Spam. It's been spam. It's tin stuff, yeah. So between Nadia and, wait, 10 stone. So he's like 10 times the size of Nadia, but he is five, whereas Nadia was one.

Nadie is the Russian baby. That's not a five-year-old. I don't know how old he is here, to be honest. A ten-stone baby. I mean, yeah, he's a baby. I mean, a ten-stone. So this is the win. Leslie Balls is the winner at the minute.

What's quite nice is that this is, this is from 1995, British patte, and this is essentially British TV in the 2000s. Yeah. A ten-stone baby. Look at this fat fuck. Look at him. Britain's fattest baby. Right.

So. But I guess what I was, I was interested in is like, yeah, is how much you, as far, there's so many great moments of World War II. Where does Duncurt. rank for you? Is it one of your top British history moments? Like for me, you know, I'm a platriot when it comes back. It goes to British history for sure. But I'm much more of an Agincourt guy. I'm much more of a Trafalgar guy. Duncurt for me doesn't get me fired up really. As much as it does nearly every dad you speak to. Well, the thing about Dunkirk that's

actually fires you up is the political machinations that were going on in Westminster while what's going on in Westminster is so much more interesting. than anything that happens. Well, because it is ultimately just 400,000 blokes on a beach. They're just milling about. There's a lot of milling about. There's a lot of just, yeah, just they haven't got any towels. They haven't got any stuff.

They're just waiting on a beach. But then you listen to Tom, James Holland on We have Ways of Making New Talk. This is like, they talk about that is like the biggest week in British history, basically. And I guess it is. But in retrospect, it is the defining moment of World War II in that if it had gone another way, then basically Hitler's sort of won. So do you think it is the defining moment of World War II? But is that just a British perspective?

Probably is a British perspective. Because how are Russian historians, American historians, or French historians, who gives a fuck? How are they looking at it? Are they also like viewing this as one of the key, key moments? Well, the key, the reason it's key is that if Hitler destroys the British expositionary force and Britain has to come to terms with Germany, then the Nazis would get the British fleet.

and then they basically close down one front, which means that they can then go into Russia with a massive fleet. Yeah. And especially if the Italians come into the war, because the two biggest fleets. Americans wouldn't come in. Well, they're isolationist.

I mean, they may have done, but who knows. So it's a great what if. But we're getting ahead of ourselves. Yeah. As ever, we need to go back to where we think we left off in that Patreon series, which is the kind of the machinations that bring Churchill to power.

in Britain. So, Neville Chamberlain, yeah. Old, cuckish. Yeah. Neville. Neville.

Neville. Neville. Neville, come inside. Neville is a, he's a very old man. He's sclerotic. He's a great sort of husband.

He's just got that sort of like British, old British aristocrat empire sort of naivity where he thinks that everyone's going to play by the rules. Yeah. It's all again cricket. Exactly.

He views it all as a game of cricket. So he's completely unprepared for someone like Hitler who is Steve Smith using sandpaper. Yes, yeah, Hitler's cheating. And I think this is one of the, if you listen to like Chamberlain speaking to Hitler and stuff, it's just him thinking, well, that's brilliant. So it's, yeah.

So you're definitely going to invade. I've secured peace and I'm like that. Why are you holding your nose when you speak, Neville? He sounds fucking ridiculous. So Neville, Chamberlain goes to the Munich Peace Conference in September 38. this is after Hitler has annexed Austria into the third right, the Anschlis, which we are incredibly in favour of, passionately.

We couldn't be more. I will defend Hitler to the death if he had stopped after the Anschlis. He, you know, the Austrians and the Germans are the same. Yeah. And I have no problem with this. Exactly. And I think to be honest, there should be more Anschlis-like coming together as a countries. Yes, I agree.

Spain and, Italy and Greece. just call it Sleeperstan Napistan Sleeperstan's just there America Canada put those together Israel, Palestine just put that together Russia, Ukraine

it's all the same isn't it Australia, New Zealand need to come together Oh yeah fuck off Norway, Sweden, Denmark That's just That's one

Finland as well Chuck there in that In Iceland That's just woke nonsense to Stan Socialised healthcare Whatever All of Eastern Europe Soviet bloc

Anything to the right of Germany. That's just all one country. Then you've got Africa. Yep, no, that's enough. Just Africa. That's fine. And then I reckon South America.

No, you've got Brazil and the rest of South America and Argentina. I've got Brazil, Argentina and then et cetera. Et cetera. So you should be called et cetera? Yes. Right. So Brazil. Exfara.

Argentina, et cetera. Yeah. China, Japan in the same country. China, Japan, Korea. That's all one. Yeah. Fucking. Yeah.

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Visit rbc.com slash I have cards. So this sort of thinking, I think... So anyway, yeah, I'm... What I'm... What I like is being concise, right? It's going, this doesn't need to be there. Get rid of that word. Get rid of that country.

Exactly. No, but roughly. Yeah. You want the matter to be, yeah, roughly. We get it. We get it. We haven't got time. You have an independent, you know, you got to cause it.

No, no, roughly. Cosovo, fucking whatever. Whatever. Roughly, what is it? We get it. Yeah, you're Chinese, probably. I don't know. We get it.

Right. Anyway, and what, a fun fact about the Anseless is that when the sound of music were the production were going to film in Salzburg, they asked for permission to film. a scene where they recreate the Angeles. Right. And they were denied because obviously the Austrians are a bit nervous. They were like, well, that was quite a run move that we did. And so then the production said,

well, I'll tell you what we'll do then. We'll just use the genuine footage where all the Austrians are fucking ecstatic about it. And they went, oh, no, you can film if you make all the extras look miserable when Hitler's ploughing through. No, no, no, you can film? But can you make us look really unhappy about it? Right, right. So anyway, the Austrians absolutely love the Angeles. It's the high point of Austrian history.

Right. So Munich Agreement is in September 38 And this is because Hitler started wanging on About the Sudatenland Which is the northern area of Czechoslovakia Well, all the tanks come from. All the tank Skoda comes from They make big family cars

They're cheap to run and they don't die And there's a lot of German speakers In the Sudatenland And Chamberlain He basically signs Sudatenland away He says you can have that And then he comes back And he's like, I have to kill it on this piece of paper

That was the deal It was like you can have this as long as you promised to have no more territorial gains. Yeah. And then pretty quickly, Hitler just goes, Yoink with Czechoslovakia, the rest of it. And Chambering goes, Chamon can't believe it.

Because he's a cuck. Yes. He's a lord's member. He's a lord's member. He's in the pavilion at the MCC. Ah! Hitler takes Czechoslovakia. And he's genuinely, he can't believe it.

Yeah. What? He really, he's just completely unprepared for it. Oh, that's not cricket. Yeah. Now, while this is going on, Churchill, Winston Churchill has been, I mean, I don't think we need to deal, we won't deal with his career before this, there's a whole other series on Churchill. At this point he's a nodding dog

selling car insurance, which is funny, do you think there's a Hitler equivalent? What, Hitler insurance? Yeah. Will it be like a nodding thing? A nodding, like bobblehead. Was that the Chinese, the cat? Yeah, it's a little cap that's doing that. Blot! Blot! Blot! House insurance. or whatever. So Churchill has had a long career. He's, at this point, he's kind of in the wilderness politically. Yeah.

He was behind the disastrous Gallipoli campaign World War I. He also tied the British currency to the gold standard in 1925. Oh, so he causes a big boo-boo. Yeah, so he's done a lot of fuck-ups. Yeah, and he also loves drinking and fucking. Extraordinary. I know that's like the stereotype, but it is absolutely extraordinary. And everyone's like this guy just fucks too hard.

We can't, yeah, we can't have him. Does he fuck a lot? I think so. Well, he's married. I don't know if, I think he's just, he's a, he's a booze-hand for the boys as well. He's one of those boozers who wants to hang out with the lads.

Yeah, yeah. He doesn't actually want to chat to girls, I don't think. What do you think his knob was like? Do you think it was sort of tiny, small? Yeah. Tiny little thing. But gracefully small. I think it's hidden under so much fat

because he ate so much and drank and never exercised. I think it was red like an old guy's nose. What's his cum face? Yeah, like a Scottish guy drinking too much whiskey. His come face is a bohr. Yeah.

I'll tell you what he was great at is his motorboating. Oh man, yeah. No, there'd be no better. I would love, I would love to be motivated by Churchill. In the ass, in the tits. Yeah, I think he gives great head, to be fair to him. And I'd love to, I'd love to just take his cheeks and just...

So Churchill's in the wilderness. A maverick, a controversial figure. But one thing he has been consistent about is that he does not think Hitler's ever going to stop. Yeah. He's anti-Hitler. He's an extremist in some regard. yeah well he's just been saying he's basically improved right well everyone else so when so when uh you know after chamberlain starts to lose traction

after munich but it's sort of like um seeing as the war started it's sort of like when brexit happened and it's like well now we need everyone who supported Brexit to be in charge yeah all they've done to run the country no but you have to and they just love drinking it has to be their term yeah this is kind of like all the people who are predicting the war now it's come true it's like well we need to move these guys Yeah, so Chamberlain's like Cameron. It's like, right, well, I'll better go then. Just will whistles and fucks off.

And he's like Johnson, you know? Yeah, well, yeah, Churchill comes in. So we're getting ahead of ourselves, but basically in August 39, the war starts proper with Operation Himmler. Right. So the Germans, I didn't actually know this, they do false flag operations in Poland

to drum up a kind of support for the war. And so they dress up as poles, which I don't know what that, I mean, what are they dressing? really shit stone wash jeans drinking cans there is no I'm just always staggered by the

the wealthiest Russians you see are just dressed so terribly yeah all the time a lot of gold so much gold Diamonte encrusted jeans communism for 70 years it means that you haven't been able to develop the stuff naturally

it's been repressed that 10 years in the 90s where they just suddenly have capitalism and they just don't take time to design jeans that actually look good Yeah, when you're really hungry, you eat way too much. Yeah. And then now you're fucked.

And now they just got like seven slits in their jeans. So they dress up as Poles and they attack German civilians and infrastructure in Poland. And then this culminates in, and on 31st of August, the Glyvitz incident where Germans dress up as Polish troops and hijack the Glyvets radio station and tenor and play anti-German messages. I don't know what we're going to use. Oh, Zed, oh, they're smelly. We're not German, we're Polish. We Polish. We Polish. Germans are smelly.

Yeah. And then the next day, Germany invades Poland. It's a defensive war. It's a defensive war. They go, well, you can't call a smelly over India. That's not fair. Britain and France, issue an ultimatum. Which is, God, that's tough from Britain and France.

Right, don't do that. Don't do that. Germany ignore it. Two days later... We got Germany over a barrel, boys. We've got them over, we've got them here. We've issued an ultimatum. They're fucked.

Two days later, they go, right, okay, then, well, we're at war. And they then don't send any military. to help Poland because they're like, what the fuck's Poland? Yeah. What is it? I just found out that Poland exists. Isn't that Russia? Because they're thinking like we are.

They're trying to make the world smaller. Yeah. Easy to manage a bite-sized global map. Everything to the east of Germany is Russia until it's China. And then it's China until it's Hawaii and then it's America, et cetera, et cetera, Brazil, Argentina. What you're saying is that East Europe should be Russia, but then we should give some of the Chinesey parts of Russia back to China. Yes. Like when it gets all Chinese.

They're clearly not Russian. Yeah. That's where the territorial debate should be about. It's not about Ukraine and Russia. It's like, why the fuck are they're Asian people in Russia? Turn around. There's Asians everywhere. What are you doing?

You and Ukraine and Russia is fine. It's all fine. You're the same blokes. Whatever. It's counties. It's just different counties. It's the same. You know, you both pierce baby's ears.

Yeah. This is a civil. It's a civil war. Turn around. Half of you are Asian. What's that about? That's weird. Why is Chinese in Russia?

Anyway, that's a different issue. What I'm saying is if Russia wanted to Angelus parts of China or the other way around, whatever, I'm fine with it. Anyway, so on the 3rd of September the war is declared and we won't deal with the Polish

campaign, but basically the USSR they'd signed a Nazi Soviet pact. They invade Poland from the east. Which is the most disappointed you've ever been with the Nazis. Devastating. Absolutely devastating. I thought we hated those guys and then it turns out their mates Does it potentially turn your view on Hitler then?

Yes, it did. Oh, right. So he has some bad sides to him. That's up there with the worst thing he does, I think, is the Nazi Soviet Pact. Anyway, the last unit the Polish Army surrenders in October 39. But we're really dealing with the Western Front

in this series. And so what then happens is that from September 2009 to about May 40 is it's called the Phony War. Actually, Americans call it. Because... Sorry, just before we go into the phony war, this is such a key moment though

which I'm listening back over all this history I didn't realize this is when the French actually the worst part of what the French do it's not them collapsing like a pudding as soon as Germany come through it's the fact that when Germany are attacking Poland if France that has the biggest landfought one of the biggest landforses in the world

two million people I think way more tanks but more anything it's huge better tanks but better tanks like they could easily if it was the right kind of war, France could have crushed Germany. Easily. If they go in now, when

the Nazis are in Poland, the whole thing is over. And it's like their undefended Western Front. Did French soldiers keep cheese in their tanks? AIOVU says no, I'm going to fight back and say yes. I think AIO review maybe not as smart as we thought. I don't think Big Tech is ready to deal

with the fact. I think part of the reason why French tanks didn't, weren't as affected as they thought they would be, is because they always had one hand eating a use of brie? I think wheels of brie were the wheels that used. And it started melting and they started eating it. And they had fins of cheese over the top of the wheels of brie.

And the whole thing was made, instead of axle grease, they were using borsan. I mean, there is evidence if you needed it of a French soldier holding a wheel of cheese. Part of the problem is that they were drinking red wine and eating cheese sitting, waiting for something to happen. But it's never really explained to me why they didn't attack because it was an open goal in a way. But this is where stereotypes can paint a picture. Right. You believe in stereotypes to you.

I'm a stereotype. You're a stereotypist? I'm a stereotype determinist. Right. In that, you know, I say I'm a historian, really, I'm a cultural analyst. I'm an ethnographer, if I'm anything. Yeah. A profession, which has really gone downhill.

I'm a phrenologist. Phrenologist. Cultural analyst, amateur linguist. I'm a Japanese. You're a chronologist in your Instagram buyer. Amateur linguist. Phrenologist. Phrenologist, professional phrenologist,

amateur linguist. Brackets he, him, back as Hart Hitler. Yeah. I'm an amateur phrenologist in my spare time in the shed. I'm measuring people's skull. And you'll do it for free?

If any patrons. Man's got to have a hobby. And mine is measuring the skulls. You know people who make their own beer in the shed? Yeah. You've got your own phrenology kit. Yeah, I do. It's like a fun little thing.

It's like it's not a professional thing, but you can do it at home. fix gluing skulls back together. What happens if you take the Caucasoid with the Mongoloid? What happens if you can glue those together? Does that tell us anything about how racial IQ? Fascinating.

Anyway, no, I am. To some extent, I think history is easy to understand if you bring national stereotypes into it. And because it is inexplicable why the French don't just pop over the Rhineland. But they've got so many troops. They've got such a great land force. Like four, five, six to one, they outnumbered Germany.

But they are too busy picking out pastry flakes and pubs from their teeth. I mean, that is kind of true, though. That's true. We're not even making a joke. I'm not making that up. A lot of the reason they did it is because I basically, France, after World War I, which to be fair to them, they bore a lot more of the brunt than we did. It was on their land.

They hosted that house party. Yeah, they had to clean that up. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know, like we, we obviously World War I was bad for us. You know when you're at like a house party It's like 5am You're like thank God this is not my house

Yeah I'm so glad I don't have to clean this up Or even that was us leaving Or even it's when you go When you have kids And you go around to someone else's house with kids And then they just literally Destroy the place

And you go fucking really We can just go home now Our house is fine We've literally ruined your house So then after that The France said to counter out They went as gay as the French Have even gone the 20s

Right? So it's like we're already gay Let's double gay and they basically didn't want to give up being gay. It was being super, holding onto it as hard as possible. Well, they thought that the next war, and we'll get into the magical line and stuff in the next episode.

What have you got, Charlie? Apparently the French soldiers were called Poilu. Have you heard of this? Poilu, which means the hairy ones. Exactly. There you go. Thank you. Sorry, they called themselves that.

I don't know. It's a term of endearment for the French infantry of World War I, and it means literally the hairy one. Right. So it's just they're typically rustic, agricultural background. Smalley. And derives from the bushy moustaches. Yeah.

What's unfortunate about the French being the most ready to surrender people in the world. Yeah. Is they also had the stinkest armpits, which is a devastating combat. Well, I think it's more like a raccoon or like a skunk emitting. Right. It's like, we think they're surrendering. They're actually emitting gas. When you, the Germans is like, when you surrender, can you please not raise your arms?

Yeah. Can you just raise a hand rather than your arm? We don't need them. Or just a wave a flag or something. But that's what they think. It's like as you attack a skunk or a sea squid or something and its last act is to omiss a noxious gas. And that's what a Frenchman does.

It's what a Frenchman does. If you attack it, it goes, ah! And it just releases his armpits. In many ways, Dunkirk is the British just deciding it was too smelly to stay in France. And they just evacuated. What is it? This is the hairiest French person ever. Petrus Gonsalvis.

That's a bear. He's from the 16th century. Right. And he's very hairy. Yeah. That's, well, to me, that's just. every event. Remember that's like the Aztec, our god.

Yeah. They just, they get out the hairiest, stinkiest guy. This is the, this is the nuclear option. But the problem is their instincts, their instincts are to sit,

smoke and chat about the meaning of life. Yeah. Whereas the Germans are, as we'll discover, on meth. Yeah. In tanks, yeah.

Having the best time of their lives. Yeah. Also, they're chucking, um, Roland deodorant in there and the French are scattering out of the trenches. Yeah. They basically just,

they manage to super glue kind of links. So it's always on and they chuck it as a grenade. Oh, oh no! Oh, no. It's too good. Evacuate. Evacuate.

Anyway. It's the most dad fair. Oh, it's great. It's so great. It's one of the joys of having children. You know, they're only young for a little bit. And you can only really get juice out of the anti-French stuff. One of the least problematic racism, xenophobia, Britain and France.

That's fair game. That's cricket. That is cricket. So. No one's getting cancelled for making fun of the French. No. Although it'd be very funny if I got, having, having just been an outspoken, Nazi apologist for eight months if I then

have too big of a swipe at the French and they go oh no that's it actually you're done so what happens in September 39 from a Western perspective is that the eight months of phony war right um phony which is an American phony you're a fake you're a phony you're a phony

this not a real war phony baloney so what happens now who's called at the phony wars though it's Americans call it that yeah because it's not a British phony the Germans call it the the Sitzkrieg um that's weird that's weirdly

funny for germans it's oddly funny isn't it yeah something suspicious something's coming the germans just made a joke why are you in such a good mood you're normally fucking terrible vibes have you discovered methamphetamines what are you about to do yeah so suspicions are raised when the german start punning yeah that's um these are a new type of german what's happened here they're having a laugh um citzkrieg ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha um so this is the the battle of the atlantic which is it's funny how basically the start of the war

is essentially all economic on the Western front It's quite dull It's very dull Yeah It's all about the merchant fleet And you know Britain has an insane

It's the best Navy in the world at this point This is really a war of factories World War II Right If you want to see it that way Which no one does But

Christ You know Eric Hobsborm Do you know him Yes So he's written these amazing books Yeah Adam Curtis's favourite guy Yeah

He's a Marxist Yeah He says that essentially you could see World War II as a war who's got the war factories well his whole view of history is the Marxist view of history

which is all class struggle it's all workers yeah of course he views it through the factories yes exactly it's always like but it's also like you've just made

the most interesting things ever happen incredibly boring which is communist which is communism yeah it's like oh it's this battle between

good and evil and right and wrong no it's about who's got more factories oh I can make more steel than you so I'm going to win all right

but in the first eight months of the war this is U-boats trying to attack British ships in the Atlantic to control. Obviously, the Americans are sort of softly supporting the allies at this point. Italy's not in the war yet. It's all very kind of, it's foreplay, right? It's all, it's kissing.

It's like kissing. It's not really getting our blood pumping. His eyes across the bar. Yeah, it is. Hitler's doing some butt stuff on the eastern front. Yeah, of course. But, you know, that's not our concern at this point. So there's a naval blockade.

when's that ever done anything and Britain begin evacuating city children and pregnant women to the countryside which I think is a policy we should look at again What cities for the boys? I think cities for the boys Yeah

Well there was a bit of like You know when it's like Glassonbury's on A lot of real Londoners like it's great All these posh home counties Yeah they fucked off It's like London and Christmas Yeah

Everyone's fucked off Yeah we get real Londoners are bad Do you think there's a bit of that The Blitz Yeah where it's like this is just... Number what's great is that this isn't the blitz yet

nothing's happening and go right get the women away get them off get the kids and toddlers and women gotta go gotta go yeah

there's something who cries and whinges is gone on a train and then they're like this is fucking great should we keep them in the county

if you do rules oh it's not safe no no it's not safe no there's too many beers going around too much fun there no no you'd hate it no this is what

it's the wife of children calling and it's you on a light night out yeah no no we're not we're not having a great time no no it's really it's really dangerous No, no, no, no, no, we're not drinking

sambuga shots. No, no, no, no. We're going to war tomorrow, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you stay there in a boring countryside. And there's a guy called Lord Horhor, who becomes a kind of popular talk radio show, who is spreading Nazi propaganda to British audiences,

which in a way is this show's, this shows, this shows, sort of cultural forebear. Now we get into the Norway plans. Now, this is actually, I used to play a video game, a computer game called Commando. You ever play that bit like strategy game sort of thing

but they had a big thing there's lots of stuff about Norway because you don't really learn about Norway no doing World War II in school but this is where the first

like contact is between Allied forces and on the West and the Nazis because we know there's a possibility that the Germans

are going to try and take all of Scandinavia basically basically there's iron ore raw iron ore oh

nothing better for a Marxist historian than a pot of raw iron ore iron ore in Sweden Sweden's got a lot of iron ore The Germans needed to make steel Yeah

Which they then make tanks out of Yeah this is when it's like civilization This is when it's like a strategy game Get this so you can make that Charlie it might be helpful to get some maps up As opposed to just pictures of raw Pictures of iron ore Where do you even start though

With a map In terms of like how the fuck does that become a tank Well there are people who know how to do that And you're not one of them I don't think you need to learn about that either Charlie. I think maybe focus on learning how a podcast works.

That's the key thing you need to do, is to focus on the job that you're currently, you're currently being employed. Don't worry about iron ore land. No one's ever going to ask you to make a tank. Like me, he's an empath, isn't it? It's like, fuck, how would I do that? You don't need to. It's outside your remit. So you've got Sweden which is where there's lots of raw iron ore

and then the ways for Germany to get that out are certain months of the year they can go up from Germany, Poland like through past Denmark to get it. But all year round, they can get it from the port of Narvik, which is it right at the top of Norway, because of ice or something.

I don't fucking know. Anyway, so Norway's very strategically important. So Churchill recognises this. Well, of course, because it's like someone in the top bunk pissing on you from below. Yes.

Because Norway's above Britain and it opens another... Which did happen to me on a stag do. It's not me, my friend. It was on a stagdo in Bristol and we were all staying in a hostel. Right.

This is the same one. I have to tell the story about when we were at subway at 5 in the morning and the guy asked for him in Maranara. and the lady said we don't have that one and his response was do I look like a cunt my mate Henry who has had anger issues has he? Yeah, I live in Berlin now. Did he look like a cunt?

Hey? Did he look like a cunt? Yeah, he asked for meatball maranara which is all you should get from a subway and they didn't have it so then he was like well I'm not a cunt so find some meatball marinerer um he's got a lot going on anyway it's not really about the meable mariner I feel there's something else there's something else going on anyway on that stag

We were saying this hostel in Bristol and what was it? My mate, Ash. Anyway, someone just, we're all in bunk beds and then woke up to just, you know, water on their face, bashing on their face. And they're like, oh, I'm thirsty actually.

And then he realizes that the guy above him is just, is like right up against the wall and it's just, is not, he's naked and it's just pissing down the wall. Is he asleep or is he awake and lazy? No, he is a sleeve He's not just like, I can't be asked Yeah

Just Yeah No He just got fully Just pissed on Christ From above That's amazing

Anyway, that's what Why was that relevant? That was relevant Because that's tactically What Norway is To Britain Geographically It's the top bunk

It is And so the only way For the Nazis To get iron ore Raw iron ore Raw Iron ore Delicious raw

Iron ore Out of Sweden Is to go from Narvik, which is a very, very north of the way. So now Churchill, who has come into the cabinet when the war broke out, because Chamberlain goes, right, it turns out, right, we need some alphas in here. I fuck this, actually. So Churchill becomes First Law of the Admiralty, which is, I think, like, war, war man, I don't know.

Yeah, I mean, I think it's linked to the Navy, but the Navy's the most important part of the British Empire. So it becomes... Yeah, so he's a Navy guy. Yeah, but that basically means kind of Big Dog. Big Dog, yeah. He's a secretary of state for Big Dog. Yeah. Anyway, so he starts to come up with these plans.

for invading Norway. Yeah. The plan R4, which is, there's various plans about, like a blending force. And then there's a lot of indecision. This is part of the reason why the French. Both in Britain and France. Yeah, but mainly in France. France, it's crazy.

The indecision in France is crazy. Their, like, their leaders are old, like even older than Chamberlain. They're like in their 80s. They're sclerotic. And they're trying to decide, do we have Brie now? or do we have borsan on a little cracker? The Nazis are coming. Yes, but we need to have lunch first.

We can't make these decisions on an empty stomach. Will this borsan be too overpowering for our pudding? Do we have the right dessert wine to pair with this level of intense flavor? They're literally at the doorstep. We can't. We can't put the Nazis on an empty stomach. Sorry, that can wait. Currently we're dealing with how thin should the Melbourne toast be to get the maximum crunch needed.

Because it's war. We need to shorten. lunchtime to four hours. Yeah, yeah. Even then, we might even four and a half, maybe. You know,

we had to go into war mode. Because there's all d'oeuvs, there's nibbles, fine, four and a half hours. A bit of bread. A bit of bread. Yeah, the French, the French is fucking...

Quick business lunch. Four and a half hours. Power lunch. Take the day. Take the day off. Yeah. It's test cricket is, French test cricket is lunch.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Five days. Five days of lunch. And then we go, what was the score? I don't know.

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See Golden Nuggett Casino.com for details. Please play responsibly. Refifth. Anyway, so the French indecision is crazy, and that's bleeding into the, you know, the British are like, we don't actually have a big army. The whole thing is Britain and France really don't want another war. So that's the reason why there's been such, that we're so ill-prepared is because we just don't want it to happen.

It's never again. No. It's that kind of attitude. So when it's coming, just know, all these old people who have lived through the war, they're just so reluctant to accept that it's coming. Yeah. It's not coming. We're not doing it again.

No, not again. But Churchill is trying to take, he's trying to be proactive. He's the only one of the allies who's trying to actually go, can you stop talking about cheese for three fucking minutes and that's invade Norway?

So he comes up with this plan which would be putting sea mines which I don't really understand Charlie can you Google what a sea mine is I don't really understand I can take a stab Yeah, I know I understand what it is

but like what Like how I imagine it sinks Was you floating? Yeah You either attach floats to it Yeah Can fish set off a sea mine

Or is that Do you have to probably not because it's probably a big metal hull hitting it all set it off like in finding nemo yeah i mean it's a different film if nemo just gets hit by fucking latent seamline do you hit a seamline yeah they hit loads of oh yeah it's interesting thinking of that well two exist in the finding nemo world universe yeah and they set off this many seamines christ i forget this i forgot this scene that's crazy fair enough thank you though i guess that's our main sources we'll put all our sources below

Yep, yep. We have a link of further reading. Finding Nemo. Further reading, watch Finding Nemo. You know, what were the fish doing at Dunkirk? Did anyone escape on a fish? Yeah. Who knows?

We'll never know. There's so much we don't know. Anyway, Churchill comes up with Operation Wilfred in which they mine the port of Narvik, and this is to disrupt the coal and oil supply from Norway. Who are neutral? Norway have gone, like Holland and Belgium, they've gone, well, no, we're not taking sides.

So that's why it's an invasion. It's not like, we're going to help defend you against the Nazis. We'd actually have to evade them as... Yeah, but the whole thing is crazy, because they're technically neutral. They've gone, no way, I'm not getting involved. Yeah, they invade Norway. No way? Way.

Yeah. So they've gone, no, Norway. No way, brother. You're going to get involved? Norway. No way. No way. No.

And then Sweden have no excuse because it doesn't work. Sweden. Get involved, then. Finland's being invaded by the USSR. Again, I personally I think that's fine. Finland is a war with the USSR, which I think is completely fine and Finland should be just probably an equally depressing part of the USS. Well, I think actually, so Finland does surprisingly well against Russia in these wars.

They're both grumpy cunts, aren't they? Because Finland's depression blows Russia out the war. they think they're the most depressed comes of the world and they speak to... Fucking hell, these guys really hate their lives. Because Finland aren't even writing books about it. No. They're raw-dog in depression.

Yeah, they're just... They're not making any great art from it. No. They're not making it into something beautiful. It's not a national story. Yeah, it is just sit in a sawn on your own, miserable. Finland, happiest country of the world. Fuck off is it.

Yeah. That's because everyone kills themselves. Also, what annoys me... I don't know if this irks you as well. Finland always gets the best education in the world, right? Yeah, seen this in the list of best school systems. them. Really?

Finland. Finland, always number one. Well, that's why they send their kids to school at like age 10. But Finland's renowned for having one of the best educations. Right. When has a Finnish person done anything?

Sorry. It's what annoys me. It's always like, yeah, and they've been finger painting since they're like, I don't know, up until they're 18 and that opens up your neural path. What have they done?

Tell me one thing of Finn's done. Yeah. It's been anything. Charlie, can you Google what's a finished person ever done? Do you know what's a finished person? Like, so what, they have a good education system? To do what?

Yeah, what are they? To be sad and a sauna. Yeah. Kimmy Reikinen, the driver. Yeah, but what you don't know is that every time he gets in that car, he's trying to kill himself. He's putting a sock up, the exhaust by with that F1 car. And then in the pit stop, they're like, no. He's like, oh, I want to die.

It's too dark. So the invasion of Norway is actually very interesting. It's probably worth its own series. but there's a guy called, is it Victor Quisling? What's he called? Victor Quisling. Vidkund. Now, he's a Norwegian fascist.

Vidkunt. He's like, he loves Hitler, but Hitler doesn't really know who he is. It's like... Do you relate to him at all? I see great, um, great similarities to myself and Vidkun Quisling. So he's a, yeah, he's a fan. Yeah, he's like a fan. He's listening to the podcast and thinks he has a relationship with...

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I remember that thing. Can I just, can I just shake? your hand that's why he says excuse me can I just shake your hand so when there's something called the Altmark incident which is about

I don't know there's a lot of naval skirmishes I found it quite confusing but the Germans essentially invade just as Churchill decides to finally get to clearance to launch the operation to mine the prognarvik so it's indecision that means that we're two weeks late exactly so Hitler goes fuck it we'll do it live

which is his strategy throughout the entire war which is why it's so alluring to me in that it's the first time a war has been fought where guys are like fuck it, fuck it, let's do it. And it is just doing drugs going, fuck it, let's do it. And it is working for the first bit. Yeah, it's rock and roll. Yeah, it is pure rock and roll. It's, it's

it's Gaginpressant. That's what, it's clop stuff, you know, it's brilliant. It's so exciting. There's basically no midfield. It's all transition from defence to attack. It's just defence to attack, exactly. It's like we don't need the midfield if we just sprint. We just do runners in there. We're using left backs and right backs in a way that no one's used them before.

They're essentially centre forwards. They've got the passing ability of a deep line midfielder and we're just getting them up the pitch they don't know what to do because the French had just got the Macalachian they use Belgium as a channel yeah they've got the Macaulay line they're like we're just sitting deep and they're like

what the fuck is the macho line is a rigid four four defence what they don't know is that Trent's going to overlap and send a ball in in a way that they have never seen before they're going to have overloads on both flanks and like how the fuck have you done that anyway so Quisling what happens is to

the Nazis invade Norway as a preemptive strike because they go the allies are going to obeyed Norway because both allies and Nazis are like, well, we need you're neutral but you need to be in our side and Norway's like, no, please don't involve us, we don't want anything to do with this. Apart from this guy who's like, yep, no, we need

to join with Hitler. The Nazi party. With the Nazi party. The nor Nazi party. And what's Norwegian fascism? Like, you have to be very polite to everybody. No, please and thank you. No way. Please and thank you. So you'll be sent to a camp and yield. Thank you camp. The police to camp. um Norway uh they love a they love a pastry

Norway Norway Norway there's a way way Um Norway man I was wondering how we'd get a Jamaican accent in this It landed right in our lap Took Charlie We didn't have to bend it too much It was right there no it was right there Easy pickings low hanging fruit

Yeah it's funny whenever you hear about Scandinavian delicacy Brown cheese Yeah spaghetti herring Brown cheese No no thanks They had that thing where they bury a herring for a year Oh, we talked about this in the

Ryder's an art series, the Surs Tormung, the disgusting fish. And the whole point of it, right, is to remind yourself how lucky you are that you can eat good food. Fresh fish, yeah.

So it's been reminding yourself, you could be eating a lot worse. Imagine if you put that dead fish in a tin and buried it for two years and had to eat it. That'd be bad, wouldn't it? Yeah. So actually eat your fucking vegetables.

Yeah, it's one of those things, isn't it? Yeah. Brown cheese, it's just, I can't. It sounds like Smeg, but for the ass. I mean, this, the color scheme of this, set is basically brown cheese. That's true. We told a set designer, brown cheese, go.

Make this podcast. Visually, we want this podcast to look like brown cheese. Norway at this point is really pushing Britain. They are toted over an arms race of who can eat the stinkiest fish. Yeah. Again, we covered that in the rise of the Nazi series. So Quisling, so eventually the Nazis invade. They do Denmark and Norway at the same time on the 9th of April. On the 8th of April, Churchill has officially launched the Narvaic operation, but they're too late. Denmark collapses, surrenders in six hours because they're,

I mean, they're like the fins. They're just like wearing black. Yeah. Denmark, I don't even want to do them the justice of racially insulting them. Really? I think they're just complete,

like, who cares? Really? Denmark. Fuck off. Lego. Lego. I think the thing is, similar to the Swiss only having a Swiss army knife to defend themselves.

Yeah. Denmark only have Lego on the floor. Is there only... I believe Lego on the floor and they, will they come in barefoot we're wearing shoes oh no oh fucky do you want a big reason that's why it took six hours it's because it was the nazi go ah oh fuck oh fuck ah ah blotch yeah which is what that's what i do when i step on lego left out blot blot you let it out you let it out you got to let it out so anyway uh Denmark collapses and it's a very ambitious this is a

very ambitious military operation right to go from germany Denmark and Norway at the same time and the Nazis go round Norway they do eventually get up to Narvik Trondheim Oslo they get all the major ports and Quisling the little Norwegian fascist he's like straight away he just gets on a state it's a bit it reminds me, I watched the footage it reminds me of when

Rudy Giuliani did the four seasons first conference yeah he just gets on like a stump somewhere it's like well I will be appointed the first minister of the Nazis or he just said not I had a word communication he's like I'm a leader of the Norwegian National Socialist Party I should be I'm like Hitler we have

best friends and then the king's like who the fuck's that guy yeah um but the king hack on he he he fucks off to brits we with britain we take him and what you don't realize is there is there's there's a the allies launched counteroffensive and they fuck the germans up in at narvik there's a big naval battle at narvick and the and the it's like it's on water we're all right we love more water yeah yeah and you know beach you're getting close to land land we're we're just sharks we are sharks the British are sharks. So Danish surrender there's a big

there's a sort of like two month battle for Norway really but because it all kicks off in France the British sort of they take Narvik back eventually and then they have to give it up again because they just retreat

from the entire continent. So for the whole of the war Germany controls Norway's ports until 45. It has 300,000 troops stationed in Norway to keep it under occupation and I think Quisling

the reason we call people acquiseling is after this guy. Really? Which means a sort of like... And so there's like their Vichy government. Yeah. And he runs Norway. I think he's a puppet.

I think he's a puppet. Right. And he tries to get like Norwegian Jews if that's a thing. I don't know if that's a thing. All four of them. It's like, please just... Hey, can we get a train? You don't need a train.

Just get a fucking Uber for that. Yeah. You mean Norwegian Jews? Do you mean Hans? Yeah. You mean that guy Hans? Yeah. Yeah, we'll organize a train for Hans.

Yeah. Christ. Just need a bicycle. Just getting on a bike. It's the first whole course done by bicycle. Just turned up at Auschwitz. Anyway, when Norway is invaded by the Nazis and the allied indecision is yet once again like displayed as fatal, this is when politically Chamberlain's tenure becomes untenable.

And on the, I think it's the 9th of May, 1940, the Norway debate in the House of Commons where basically the entire House of Commons go, you're done. Yeah. And Cromwell's quoted, in the name of God, go. You know that thing they said to Brexit as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They love that. Is that a Cromwell quote?

Yeah, in the name of God, go. Oh, fair enough. It's probably to anyone having a fun time. Right. Anyway, there's a lot of national governments in the 30s in England in the UK because of crisis after crisis. Yeah. Go on.

You know how he dies about four months after he starts being prime minister? Six months. Six months. Do you think he died of like... Broken heart? a broken bum. No, it was bowel cancer, yeah. A broken bum?

Yeah. Like, was that, like, do you think that's related as like a sadness? A broken bum? Did you say that? Yeah. Right.

No, I don't think you died with a broken bum. Well, I guess bowel cancer is a broken bum. Yeah, she's layman's terms, isn't it? Oh, it's terrible. My name's got a broken bum. Oh, I'm trying to hear that. What's it looking like?

Stage 4, broken bum. Oh, my God. Terminal. Terminal broken bum. Cannot be put together again. Humpty, she got humpty-dumpty ass. manless bum fell off a wall yeah

Chamberlain dies with a broken bum it's like when yeah you're you know an old couple that been together for 60 years and one of them dies and the other one's just their asses for they're just getting a toilet and go I haven't left the toilet since she died wearing black

wearing black I've just not been able to get off the bowl my bum's gone my ass is gone his bum's gone his head's gone his head's gone his head's gone honestly me on the toilet my girlfriend she's like Gary Linnaker with Gaza Yeah It's like his bum's gone

His bum's gone Put some toilet around the fridge His bum's gone So, yeah Job's too big for him Job is too big for him Job is too big Bum's gone

Anyway, listen Fucking out So Chamberlain You know the whole house of Commons Can smell him They go your ass has gone Ladd

Your ass is gone You've got to get out Get out of here And Churchill's like I tell you who asses And hasn't gone This guy Yeah

And I let me tell you, I mean, holding it a shit for 10 years. I'm eating some mad stuff. I'm eating like geese and my asses can take it. I got a strong ass. It's going nowhere. Get me in there.

Churchill comes out of the wilderness, purely because he's been the one opposing Hitler and the Norway debacle strengthens his hand. So, rising in popularity. After the debate, which sort of ends the 10th of May, it becomes clear that Chamberlain can't lead anymore. So Chamberlain resides as PM and the final, first choice for successor is Lord Halifax.

He's best mates with the royal family. He is like the definition of the British establishment. Yeah. Lots of experience. And he's also, he's a big cuck as well. Yeah. He's loves appeasement. Yeah.

So it's Halifax or it's Churchill. Yeah. That's the big. And Halifax gets offered it, right? He gets offered it. Right. And he goes, he's so. He's like, I'm a bank now.

Yeah, he goes, I've got other things to, I've got mortgages to lend. Yeah. No, he just is like, I can't, I don't think I can do this. I don't think I've got the stomach for this. Lads, you don't want to believe this My ass is gone as well It's contagious The job is too big for it

There's a rot to the heart of the British establishment And it is broken bum It's contagious It's irritable bowel syndrome It's like gut rot It is It's Chamberlain's patient zero It's bum COVID

It's tearing through the care homes You're not gonna fucking believe it Yeah Your ass as well My ass as well Oh my God Right put your hand up If your ass hasn't gone

And it's only Churchill Right well he's He's prime minister then. So Churchill says he wouldn't serve in a Halifax cabinet because he's like, your ass has gone as well. And that's why he does it, right? That's why Halifax gives up. Because Halifax is offered here and Churchill's like, I'm not going to serve your

producer. He's like, well, I don't want to do it then. Yeah, because Churchill's the only guy that actually is up for a fight. Yeah. Because he's fired up. He's battered. He's been drunk for 10 years. He's like, I cannot wait to fucking get this guy.

And the day he stops drinking, his ass will fall out for me. But that's why he's got to just wake up. Well, I think with Churchill. he's the big argument for hair of the dog. Yeah. I don't think he's ever had a hangover because he's never not been drunk. Yeah.

I think if you keep drinking through. But this generation, you know, nowadays everyone's obsessed with like living forever, Brian Johnson drinking green shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This generation lived till their fucking 70s and they were waking up.

How old was Churchill when he died? I think probably 70 or... Well, what's the Churchill's breakfast? Let's hear that. Churchill's breakfast is 45 meals of dry whiskey. It's double serving. Cold brew coffee,

maple syrup, and Gustara bitters and a cinnamon stick. So that's his whole breakfast Is he having a fry-up, isn't it? No, no, he also has a... He also has known for his love of a... Of course, I mean, no one loves a...

He had a full English and a whiskey cocktail for breakfast. Having a breakfast cocktail named after you, that, for me, that's aspiration. Yeah, yeah. I would fucking, you know... And to be fair... You left your mark. Hitler's not doing that.

He's not, his teetone, he's like... He's actually quite trampion in that sense. Well, he is, but then, as we'll discover in the next episode, he likes the sniff. So, you know, all this stuff about... It's like a lot of my Muslim friends at uni. Off the alcohol, Koran. Hey, Jews.

Yeah, but on the sniff. Oh, sorry, right. Yeah. Anyway, so, Halifax rejects the offer. Churchill becomes Prime Minister on the 10th of May 39. And on this very same day, the Nazis,

coked up to the fucking nines, invade Belgium, Holland, Luxembourg, who gives a shit, and France. Yeah. in our next episode we will deal with the Blitzkrieg the high point of the Nazi stag do sure the train journey on the way to the city before even a thought of the misses has come into their head the misses is it's probably not till yeah it's not when's the first thought

43 43 wait so it's it's uh russia it's starling ground yeah it's the winter it's like sun country the curtains oh shit i'm married what's she going to think about this i'm going home of three years fuck I've been a three year bender oh there's gonna be hell to pay I'm gonna be sat down in front of all my missus and we're gonna get told off

we've either got we've either got a go so hard that we die yeah or we've got to kill all the women well that's been your approach to comedy yes it is you just keep going and one day you will have a Nuremberg itself of course of course of course there'll be a Nuremberg

Charlie just following orders yeah yeah you're both coming out with me I've killed myself yeah yeah no yeah you've got yourself Absolute coward. No, I've handed you guys in to get a good sentence. To who, though? Sophie Juker.

Sophie Hagan. Sophie Hagen. She's the Hague. We get tried in Sophie the Hagan. Sophie Hagen's putting warrants out for our arrest. He should be tried at the Sophie Hagan for war crimes. Crimes. Crimes against defence, marginalised groups.

He's hurt the feelings of marginalised groups. so sovi agon's called the court straight to the soviagin to you right right right let's get out of here come on in our next episode we'll deal with the blitz creek and the invasion of france if you like koki nazis if you like koki nazis and you'd also like to hear the prequel uh very much the phantom menace to this series arise the nazi's series that's on the patron and uh all the the next three episodes of this series are also on the patron for just three pounds a month you can become a truther and you get early and you get butter butt tuppence that's less Less than a coffee.

Yeah. These days, in Siddiqu's London. Lucky to get a coffee at all. Well, then your hands chopped off for asking for one. Bloody Londonist. Does it Sharia law? To have four cowlough for a coffee? I don't really see that part.

Joy the Patreon. There is no Sharia law on the Patreon. It's a wild west of absolute losers. Come. You know how cowboys are cool? Imagine that, but uncool. Yeah, they're really fat. And boardline retarded.

Still got cowboy hats on, no. They've got the hats on. They've got hats on. Of course they have. Come join the patron where we've grown, my God. We're now in the top. We're one of the fastest grown patrons in the world. Yeah, belt buckle is popping at the scenes.

They are, they've got a photo of a Down syndrome cowboy and that's, that's, that's the average, that's the e-fit of our average patron. That's the admin. Yeah. So, that's the moderator. Right. Enough of this. Yeah.

We are slowly building towards. Red Downs redemption. Gone. Red Downs Red Downs Redemption That's what Come and join Red Downs Red Downs Redemption Where they just hug the horse Rather than ride it

Just give the horse a big hug God they love it Anyway Uh fucking hell Join us on the Patreon If you like the next episode one Not even got to the invasion of France yet My God

I'm wet my whistle's wet for the my ass is leaking my my bum's broken it's falling out we've got to stop join the patron and if not we will see you next time for the blitzkrieg hitler's the height of hitler success and the british bravely retreating till then by hitler till then by hitler Thank you.