Fin vs History - Our Poor, Innocent Antarctic Model Village | Margaret Thatcher & The Falklands (Part 2/6)

Episode Date: December 25, 2025

Mummy’s premiership is on the brink, when a fascist invasion of a Model Village on our very very southern border brings Mags a path to redemption  The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened.   For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon  ⁠patreon.com/fintaylor CHAPTERS: 00:00 - WWII (reprise)  08:16 - Britain’s Southern border  10:31 - The History of Falklands  14:45 - Argentina’s Daddy issues  18:10 - Permanent DofE 21:20 - Military Junta  27:33 - Giving it the biggun   29:22 - The Whisky General  37:24 - Don’t mess with the British Antarctica Survey  39:35 - Flicked Mummy’s tit  41:43 - Operation Rosario  43:50 - Governor Hunt  46:06 - Radio DJ live streams the invasion  49:03 - Mummy lets the dads loose  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome back to Finn versus history. I'm joined by Horatio Gould. And we're in our stolen valet phase of the podcast. We're saying we fought in the Falklands. I'm saying we fought in the Falklands. I guess that's the, yeah, it's the, yeah, it's the closest is the nearest war we, I guess you could say a right, but that's kind of the nearest valorous war we could

steal valor from really. Yeah, do people, you couldn't really get away with Second World War. No one's to believe you. But then I suppose do people, people would come up and shake your hand if you said you've bought in the Falklands. Yeah, because it was a, yeah, people of a certain age who remember it. I don't think for my generation people truly understand the significance

of the Falklands. And there is, there is a huge, it's the most significant conflict. It's one of the most important conflicts. Of our life, of our, of the of the train's entry. It's a pussy dick shift. It is a pussy dick shift, yes. It's the defining conflict of the 20th century. It's the third world war, really.

This is World War III. Yeah. It's the battle for the soul of the globe. Yeah, exactly. It takes place. It's good versus evil. Yeah. It's one of the most black and white conflicts there is.

And when the British flags are flying over Port Stanley, that place I always think about, my God, didn't we win? Is there anywhere more British than the Fortlands? East Falkland Yeah The most British that Britain ever was 500 miles off the coast of Argentina Actually I joke about it but it kind of is

Because it's a sort of a time capsule of the 50s It is so funny The Falkland Islands Because the people who are there Are more British than British people It's January Because it's Britain without any Immigration on any sort

It's just Here we go It's the lost world What could have been Enoch Pals Nivana. Cold, windy rock. Wet rock with some long grass.

With a pub. It is. Isn't it sort of like a stubborn retreat? No, genuinely. It's a white Brit to be like miserable. It's a model village. It's a model village. It's amazing.

Oh, you've got a part of Britain 8,000 miles away. I bet it's lovely and sunny. No, the weather's arguably worse. It's worse than Scotland. Yeah. Yeah. It's like 4K Scotland.

Yeah. Going as far away as part of. possible just to get the exact same weather. Even more remote, even more rainy, even more harsh, even less people and even more sheep. It's a miserable Argentina, Argentina, no, it's not, it's not like that at all. Hitler's not escaping to the Forklund Islands. He's escaping to Brazil. A miserable bunch of rocks. This is the start of our three parts are on the Falklands, which is itself part two of six of Thatcher. Wow. Which is itself part 12 of the post-war British Prime Ministers. Yeah. The Babushka doll continues. We, we, we, we,

couldn't really talk about Thatcher without doing the Falklands and we had to do this conflict justice because as you said it's the defining conflict in the 20th century it's very much the the Douglas Hume of of war yeah um you know this country Alex Douglas Hume fuck always get it wrong this country is still scarred by the conflict in the forklans I mean yeah the amount of veterans who fought in it you know it's got all of everyone's memories from the generation above. Yeah, they, they, they weren't, as much as our parents, their parents talked about the Blitz, I can't remember a day where my parents didn't bring up the Falkland Islands.

And, you know, the famous battle of Mount Harriet and Goose Green that my parents would not shut up about it. You know, their lives were defined by the Falklands. And for the next three episodes, so will this podcast now. I mean, it is a great topic, to be fair. It's so brilliant. Yeah, it's great. It's really interesting.

And we even joke about, we joke about. it not meaning much better at the time it did it meant a whole it was all we had yeah and i think in the context of the wider british prime minister series you know what i'd like people to do you know if you were a real fan of this podcast you would listen to the entirety of the 10 part series and then go straight into this one yes because you then realize how we literally had nothing but then the opportunity to make us feel good again run that shit back run it back yeah DJ Hold on, hold on, hold on. Run that shit back.

Let's go out. Let's do it again. It's, it's, it's, it's, well, let's reenact World War II. It's World War II, brackets, reprise. Yeah, is that? It's Thatcher playing drag Churchill. Yep.

She's a drag king. We all get to pretend it's the blitz spirit again. Exactly. Yeah. It's 8,000 mile away, Dunkirk. Well, it's kind of lapping where, I mean, a thousand people died, but it's sort of like. But they died, they died over lapping.

Yeah, it's basically laughing. It's just really intense laughing. Yeah. It's, yeah, it's the hardest LARPing ever got. Yeah. And it's the most... We basically found a neutral venue. Two countries are not a huge amount of history to look.

The park, semi-final. Yeah. It felt like a board game almost. Yeah, essentially. You know, the stakes... Could not have been higher. The stakes are crucial. Yeah, the stakes could have been.

This is 1,800 British people... Could have been a bit higher, maybe. It could have been slightly higher. It could have been slightly closer to anything. 1800 British people with a pub and some red pill phone boxes are brutally conquered I mean it's a disgrace

It's unspeakable Well the art of magistrate's terracedry Which is to be honest It's happened It happens occasionally with Britain We have so many these ran little islands Around the world It'll be interesting

Remember when we gave away The Chegos Islands Which I'm still furious about I haven't I think that deal's collapsed I haven't slept since I know yeah I mean think of the Chagoscians but what I love

is they'll be like Britain gives away these islands and the people will be like what are those islands don't get those are those are my that's what that's a British territory fuck off

those are you can't just give them the Chagos Island that happened that happened in the Falklands where like everyone was like what the fuck's that don't give it away where

generally the Falklands were no you can't have it huh what now this is Thatcher's great the great turning point in Thatcher's career,

which is why we wanted to spend some proper time on it. The Falkland Islands, I genuinely did not realise how far away they are until I'm researching this. They are so far. They are about 300 miles off the southern tip of Argentina. So when we were talking about Captain Cook, going to Tierra del Fuego,

the people that he thought would be giants, that's where the Falklands are. Okay. So Cook, trying to find Antarctica, that's where the Falklands. Right. Did he pass through the Falklands? Yeah, I think so. Or South Georgia, that's where we found South Georgia, isn't it?

Yeah. Let's get into the checkered past of the Falkland Islands. They're 8,000 miles from Britain. Yeah. They are 300 miles off the coast of Argentina. Well, they're not 8,000 miles from Britain because they are Britain. Thank you. Britain stretches from...

For 8,000 miles. You've got the Shetlands in the north. and the Falklands in the South, and that's Britain. I've always said that. I've always said that. Now, there's an invasion on the southern border. What, they're invading Falklands again? Yeah.

It's the original stop the boats. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Now, the Falklands were described by early sailors as quotes, utterly inhospitable. Charles Darwin? They're rubbish. They are fucking rubbish.

They are, and I'll say this now. I can't think of a worse place to have a stag do than the Falklands Islands. They are the opposite of as Dag do. Yeah. You know, Berlin, Prague. Mecca? Budapest. Do you know what?

Fairfax? That's close. I'd say mecca's probably a bad stag. I don't think it would be a laugh doing Mecca. You'd just be worried, wouldn't you? What are you worried of? Hey? What do you be worried of?

Can I take my pint in to the Mecca bit or not? I think you could take your pint in, right? I don't mind that. I think it's like the football game is now. You just have to do a plastic cup? It's a plastic cup inside the... Yeah, inside the Hajj is... Sometimes I think about a guy who what?

Did acid at Hajj. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck me. Okay, so you can do... The Quran says nothing about acid. All right, so you can still bang pills at hash. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. My miserable friends are uni, no alcohol, but they'd be doing ecstasy every weekend. Right, okay, fine. Because God runs says nothing about it. I'd say the Falklands are the opposite of the Stagg do. Right. If you, if you're going to go to Stangler, where are we going? Oh, we're going to Port Stanley and East Falklandland.

What's the worst thing about Britain? Let's go there. Let's make it like, let's do it ten times worse. Yeah. You know what you say about the Shetland Islands, how they're too busy. Yeah. I found the perfect place. We can leave the hustle and bustle of Orkney and really decompress in East Falklands.

So Darwin visits the Falklands in 1833, described the islands as, quote, desolate and wretched. And he loved everything. He's fascinated everything. Yeah. Did he not find any birds or puffins? Are there lots of, Charlie, they're puffins on Falklands. Falklands lions are home to many birds. Yeah, they got lovely penguins.

Yeah. South Georgia definitely has loads of penguins. I love penguins my favorite bird. Oh, no, penguins are great. They're crowd pleases. Yeah. No one can have anything out against penguins. So Dennis Thatcher describes the islands as miles and miles of bugger all.

Now, that's quite tame for him. In the early 20th century, the population's around 2000, just mostly a British descent. Sheep, vastly outnumbered humans. There's about half a million sheep. That's a lot. So really, this is a, it's a farmer defending his sheep. is what this conflict is. It has some naval importance.

Brackett does it, though. Because I suppose it's a staging post. But you can project power, right, from all these islands. That's the main thing. It's a staging post on the way to the Antarctic. But I don't know why we need to project our power there. No.

I mean, that's the part of the question as well. So they're culturally isolated. Falkland has described themselves as quotes more British than the British. But I guess that's because they... It's like a... Yeah, it's an alternative reality. Yeah.

Well, you stuck in the 50s forever. This podcast is the Falklands. Yes. Yeah. The Union Jack has flown everywhere. There are portraits of the monarch displayed everywhere. Yeah. It's a tea-drinking culture.

They love football. They love cricket. It's a model village in the South Atlantic. Yeah. Now, the islands were uninhabited when Europeans first explored them. In 1764, the French established Port Louis on East Falkland. Spain then takes it. So for one year, they're French.

Yeah. Britain establishes Port Egmont on West Falkland. And because the Falklands are two separate islands. Oh, okay. East and West Falklands. Yeah. And they don't know about each other for a year. Right.

Then in 1770, Spain forcibly expels the British garrison and there's a near war between Spain and Britain, although it was avoided through diplomacy. Lovely. We've warned them once in 1770. That shit rock is ours. This terrible place is ours. Britain withdraws in 1774, but leaves behind a plaque. I mean, rules are rules? To be fair, if there's a blue plaque, it's Britain.

I've always said that. Now, in 1816, the newly independent Argentina inherits the claim from the Spanish. Right. So let's just go through the scores. We've left a plaque. That should be final. That is underline. There are.

There's a blue plaque. Yeah. The Argentina has inherited a claim from the Spanish. Can you inherit a claim? I don't think so. I don't think so. in 1820 a privateer pirate flies the Argentine flag and formally claims the islands for the United Provinces

He might not have read the plaque I don't think he's not, can't have seen the plaque Surely not His proclamation is reported in foreign newspapers And this is later used by Argentina As evidence of early peaceful occupation In 1833, Britain reasserts control And this is the core of Argentina's grievance

So they talk about The usurpion of 1833 The usurpation of 1833. Usurpation. Usurpation. Now, Argentina is a grumpy country. With a naughty past. And a naughty present.

They're quite naughty country, actually, Argentina. They are, yeah. And there's lots of love about the Argentines. There is. They love steak. Steak and red wine. Yeah, that's good. And they give safe harbour to Nazis.

Yeah. So, you know, I'm listening. If an Argentinian is talking to me, I am listening. Very problematic in the set. is interesting is that they semi try to pitch this as like a colonial possession that's out of date right yeah but argentine past is the most colonial past Argentina is a is a colony it's the Spanish what white Spaniards genocide in their locals yeah and then kicking out all the black slaves that's why Argentina is 95% white or something so that it's like yeah if you're

saying we should have the forklums you shouldn't be in the fucking Argentina and your last name is Sturmfure Like, can we be honest about who we are for a second? Yeah, maybe we shouldn't have them but you shouldn't have an Argentina so you're not the ones are going to take it away from us.

Why is your name Hans and you speak like that? What the fuck's going on? Bonjourno, me am I hands. Anyway, yeah, I tried to listen to a podcast that Afiourhe was hosting about the Falklands.

She described it as like white on white, imperialist, ding-dong, yeah. Okay. And I was like, Afiwa, part of the bollocks, all right? Well, it's an interesting one.

I think it's a bit of, it's a bit of a Spider-Man meme for white people to deal with Fort Hoods. They don't really know where to fall fascist Argentina versus Thatcher's Britain. Yeah, it is.

It's like... I guess the woke things give it back to the penguins. But that's it. There's never... What she was struggling with was that she couldn't find the indigenous people

who were oppressed. So it's the penguins. It has to be. So in her mind... Because you can't find them anywhere. No. This is... It's puffins and penguins.

They've been murdered by the Argentinians any indigenous person. Yeah, as we'll see, the Argentinians do not have any respect for wildlife. In the early 1830s, Britain reestablishes a permanent presence.

It secures strategic coaling and naval station which is on the route around Cape Horn. The British warship HMS Clio arrives at Puerto Solidad, which is now called Port Louis. A small Argentine garrison

and an Argentine flag are flying. On slow demands the removal of the flag. Argentine officials protesting, but facing a superior British naval force, they withdraw without a fight. They do not learn their lesson.

That should have been that. That should have been that. Now, Argentina as a country was after Spain left basically a British colonial protectorate. Yes, culturally, certainly. Britain has a very interesting

which I don't think people will know about empire in the South America because they don't know. People think that Argentina hate Britain as they do because of the foreclos, but they don't realize how they were like anglo-files. They've got daddy issues. Yeah, they really do. With us. Because all of They're like railways, meatpacking, banking, utilities. That was all British companies.

There was all the elite upper classes. It was kind of model on the British upper class. Polo. Country clubs. That's why Argentina play rugby very badly. Polo, football. It was for football. Yeah.

And in Brazil, I mean, Brazil is the same. Britain has a sort of a soft empire in Brazil in the 19th century. Borges, what's his name? Lewis Borges, the writer. What's his name? I don't know. You know, Louis Borges, he's like the most famous Argentinian writer. Huge Anglophone.

Torres Dwarf. And the islands are essentially this sort of symbolic wound in Argentina, in Argentina, in Argentina, in political culture. So they call them, and I will not say this again, the Islaf Malvinas. All right. To be fair, I'm going to give one thing to Argentina. It does sound a nicer place in Spanish. Look at, Charlie, Charlie, get. Las Malvinas.

Google image. the Falklands, okay? And I would like you to tell me which of these words describe this place better. Forklunds feels more accurate. The Falkland Islands, or Las Van Vides. Yeah, Malvines sounds like, you know,

there's a romance to it. Gringo! You go to the Valvidas. No, those are the fucking Falklands. I was born on the Forklund Islands. I think part of Argentina's major grievance is that their tongues aren't strong enough to say a hard F.

So that's what they're upset about. They're upset. And it's misappropriated range? Right. And they're taking that rage out on the British. Yes. And the poor people and sheep of the Falkland Islands. You know, the model villages, 1950s Britain.

The Argentinians want to call them the Malvinas Islands. And in the 20th century, the UN Resolution 2065, called for bilateral negotiations. They held intermittent talks throughout the 60, because no settlement was reached. In the 60s, of course, which this is the era of, of McMillan and Wilson and mass decolonization. You know, Alex Douglas Hume

just gives it away. Give it away. The thing he's remembered for. Yeah, it's a garage sale, right? Yeah, we sell everything. Again, you can go back through the earlier parts of this series

to pick up on that. But by 65, we pretty much got rid of everything. Africa, gone. Gone. India, gone. Mary condo, right? We have decluttered

our wardrobe. Declutterization. Except we're now just naked. it. Yeah, taking it too far. Yeah. Now, in the 1970s, the UK were proposing, quote, lease-back arrangements. They basically were like...

Trying to do the Hong Kong thing. Yeah. I feel we regret the Hong Kong thing, though. So I think we thought with the Hong Kong thing, they wouldn't ask for it back. And when we did that lease, it was a fishing village. Yeah. And then it was like, basically, New York and in China. Yeah.

And we're like, oh, fuck. I don't think you'd actually call us on that. Also, it now looks sick. Yeah. Yeah. It's a shame. The city that never sleeps. Anyway

Now it's very expensive For the British to hold on to the Falklands Because it's an island And so they don't grow anything So it's just like They're sending cans and tins And like tin peaches It's Glastonbury

It's permanent Duke of Edinburgh It's a permanent Duke of Edinburgh It must be so fucking annoying To live there But then they, I don't know They've got like a sort of siege mentality I think date of being permanently annoyed.

Yes. They don't want to break out of that. Just like that. Permanently, oh, weather's bad. I mean, you can live anywhere else. You know, British food makes sense in the Falklands. Yes, it does. You know, Argentinian food does not.

No. Not at all. It is so obviously, you look at the country and you think it's so obviously part of Britain. Yeah. It's not Argentina. It's home away from home. It's not, you know, there aren't sort of women with the big hoop earrings and red

lipstick doing the tango in fucking Port Stanley. There's a chew-up old made behind the bar. giving you a scout. There's Barbara Wins going, get out my pub! Mr. Forklund Islands! Now, the lease back, Harold Wilson has this idea,

right, that we're going to lease it back to the Argentinians. So it's still technically British of the Argentinians administrator. Because at this point, Wilson is getting pegged to shit

by Marcia Williams. He does not want to deal with an island 8,000 miles away. Yeah. So... Grandad's getting his back blown out. Grandads on the floor, his knees in the dirt.

And, you know, what a model village thinks 8,000 miles away, couldn't be further from his point in mind. So he even comes up with the scheme, I think, to pay every Falkland Islander a million pounds to just fuck off. And they turn it down. Of course.

They're so stubborn. Yeah. But also, I think money doesn't mean much to them because they go, what do I spend it on? Yeah. I'm trapped. I'm on Puffin Island. Oh, is this, Charlie,

have you googled the Falklands accent? Yeah, so it's sort of West Country, New Zealand and South African. Do you want to give us a crack? Should we layer it up like a loop pedal? So start with West Country. All right. All right.

Is that my lover of my darling? Can I have a bit of that pie? Right. And then let's just add on a bit of Austrian. Can I play's have a better that pie? And then a bit more hard with this. Can I have a bed of that pie? All right.

Lovely. Okay. Keep going. Keep saying, could I have a better nap pie? Can you say, get the argy's off my island? Get the argy's off my island. So they're deaf? Get the argy.

Get rid of your parlour. Right, okay. I don't know how I am. So it's 1,800 deaf people on the model village off the coast of Argentina. Lovely. So, the lease back arrangement

collapses because the Falklands themselves. They don't want to lose their British identity. What is it, Charlie? Do you imagine that they're a, sort of, what's the mental health of the Falklanders now? Are they like,

are they, what they like? I'd say it's about as robust as anything. Don't talk about it. Repressed British men, don't talk about it. Their view on mental health is, frankly, none of my business. Yeah. What are you doing digging around in there?

I'd say, Diary of his seat. CEO's listening stats are very bad in the foreman violence. Irrelevant. Irrelevant. It can't understand why you'd look into yourself. What the fuck are you doing? Don't look in there.

That's not a your fucking business. What's the point now? So, we need to deal with the rise of Argentine nationalism. Now, under Juan Perron, who was president in 1946, who else is in the country in 1946? I can't think. I can't think. What's Eichmann doing?

Has he made it here? Is Iguyen in Italy? Yes, he's fanning about Germany and Italy. He hasn't quite gone down. He's not caught on the ship. He's not, he's not in Argentina. Juan Perron, in the early 50s, his government increasingly presents the Malvinas

as part of a broader anti-colonial agenda. Because it's a symbol, right? It's a symbol, right? It's a symbol. It can't really be much else than a symbol, right? No, because it is literally a postbox in a heath. Las Malvinas San Argentinias become state doctrine.

The Malvinas are Argentines. Now, in 1976, there's a military junta. Yes. Which is a very fun word to say. And now you can only have hunters in Spanish-y Latina countries, right? Yes. We couldn't have a hunter here. No.

I'd like one, I think. I know, but it just feels like hunters seems, it's always seen specific. It always seems in a country that uses spice in their food, right? Yeah, yes, it is. What does Hunter mean? There's no mashed potato hunters. No. Bake bean hunters?

No. hunter sounds like a slur i like the word um fucking hunter fucking hunter there's too many fucking hunters in here mate um hunter means council in spanish okay so the spanish does make everything sound better sounds dramatic hunter it's a telenovela jackie weaver's military hunter now yeah the uh the argentine's military hunter seizes power in nineteen 76 we should place this okay but maybe we should place the falklands war generally yes we should do it the date should be from the forklans war okay which is the invasion is April

1982. 82. Would you like to place this? Yeah, okay. 1982, that's after Stanley Matthews did one step over and everyone thought that he was a god of a witch. They tried to burn him at the stake and it's

it's off before Paula Radcliffe shot herself. Surely. It's got to be before Radcliffe's. I mean it's a little bit of a wide berth. No, I think that's nice. I think you're looking sort of 50s as Matthews step over. Poo herself, date.

Radcliffe, 2005, right, and then do Stanley Matthews first step over. 50s, yeah. So it's nice, it's quite nice to place. Britain, British history in there. I didn't realize that Paula pooed. Pooed a Raghcliffe. Paula did a poo?

Yeah, famously. Did it? It's called doing a polar ragcliffe. But Stanley Matthews to Paul Raghcliffe, it's the decline of Britain, right? This series really should be called from Matthews of Ragcliffe. The decline of post-war Britain.

manage decline. She's not managing her decline very well. Now, the military hunter, I will say this. Obviously, it cut me and I bleed the Falkland Islands. Of course. But there's a lot. I'd never doubt that about you. There's a lot to love about the military hunter.

I must say this. I was doing some research last night. They're some pretty funny guys, you know. They're a good pint. Right. The military hunter, they seize power in 76, and they launch what they call a national reorganization. process. Okay. And what they mean by that is that they're reorganizing anyone who's a bit of an

annoying left wing student. They put them in the sea. Right. They do this thing called disappearing people, right? Where we've got to reorganize sometimes. Yes. You've got to tidy up. So I'm going to take those annoying left wing students. I'm going to put them in a helicopter and I'm going to fly there and I'm just going to drop them into the sea alive. They basically, people from like goldsmiths who are like, oh, fucking come on, mate. They go, right, let's just bin Laden them in the ocean. Alive. Alive. This is what's called the Dirty War,

which I think we should do an episode on at one point. It is quite funny, but they... Sounds it. Yeah, they basically, it's that classic thing where they take power and I don't think there's any one coalition that's leading. It's like the army, the Navy and the Air Force are all fighting, that they're the council.

Good guys. And anyone that they think is an internal enemy because they're viciously anti-communist. So anyone who's a little bit communist. They can do whatever they want to them. Yeah. so they had this thing called electrocuting people right oh there's a lot of um electrocuting sticking electrodes on the genitals or poets right again stop clock you know there's a lot to love about them uh yeah they basically they take up students who were like even handing out a pamphlet on campus in the sea in the sea right that's it in the sea and so they would drop them they drug them and they dropped them from a height over the atlantic ocean and and they'd never tell families they just say disappeared they would never tell them that like There's hundreds and thousands of journalists that just disappear.

Yeah, I wonder where they went. The sea. Just chuck them in the bin. They're basically skimming stones with journalists. My dad can't deal with clutter. There's been a big problem. My mom has too much clutter, so that's a huge part of the reason they're divorced. But he basically will just swipe whole any letters on the kitchen counter.

He's thrown away a couple of passports before. Really? But he just, it's in the bin. He just can't deal with any way. He doesn't want to go through it. It's in the bin. If I need another one I'll buy it I can't just can't deal with that

But I have that impulse as well Yeah and so it's just like Now anyone who's just slightly annoying In the bin Some days the door rings And it's a man with a package And I genuinely am like Can you just put it in the bin?

Please please I don't want to even open it Just put in the bin Whatever it is I'll find it If I need it I'll find it Yeah I'll get it again

I fuck it I hate delivery I'd much rather go into a shop And buy it I hate all that It's just frustrating I'm a bit of an online shopper I think

as bad as Amazon is it's a miracle I don't have no moral problem with it I just hate stuff arriving and they have to take a photo of my feet fuck off you weirdo yeah you're gonna end up on wicket feet

you sick fuck be quite funny to call DPD man what are you taking photo you're taking a photo my swastika socks excuse me there's my home

there's my swastikas socks soxtacos Soxtac's Swaster socks Swaster socks Swaster socks This Christmas

Finn versus history swaster socks are now on sale. God, next year maybe. Maybe. Anyway, the Hunter, things aren't going well for the Hunter. The Army, the Navy and the Air Force are, I think they rotate leadership maybe between the three factions. We talk about, we often get compared to

Argentina because it always makes us feel better because no matter how bad our post-war decline is, Arctanhas has always been worse. Yeah, there's been... Because in the 30s democracy's very intense. They were like a bit good economy, right? They were at their point, they had like, they were like doing like fucking like 30% of all beef in the world

I think there's a point maybe at the start of the 19th century everyone thinks Argentina is going to be the richest country in the world or like it's only the biggest power in the world but it's also what's in Argentina it feels like a lot of their problems have been due to mismanagement above all else well the Spanish which is which is funny

yeah a lot of the time it's just forces at play that you can't deal with yeah but then I think such as being Spanish nappy nappy time um yeah I think at the start of the 19th century everyone's like this is the promised land they're going to be richest country ever they've got all these cows yeah and

they've got so many resources yeah but yeah they fuck it repeatedly uh and but they still have that ego the argentines yeah now definitely have you ever met argentia yeah yeah yeah they're quite they could be you know they they give it they give it a lot they're giving it a lot they're giving it the big and they're got no fucking trophies what wars are you on yeah exactly you're giving it the bigon you've seen lampard when he said that to clot no you win one prem you're now giving it the bigon you're not seen that no You know this, on the touchline, it's a classic, giving it the bigan, that's why that's now a part of the vernacular.

Right. He's just shouting it. You win one prime, and you're giving it the fucking bigot. Yeah. This is, this is Britain to Argentina. You're giving it the big and fuck off. Giving it the big and it's great. That's England to Argentina.

Yeah, you're giving it the fucking big and fuck off. So the... Who are you? I love that. Giving it the bigan. Now the hunter, the head of the hunter in 1982 was a man. In 1982, it was a man called, is it Leopold Galtieri? Leopoldo Galtieri, he's head of the army.

And by the early 80s, the Hunters' management of the economy is bad. To be fair, they're putting anyone who's skilled in the sea. That's not where they should go. They should go into skilled jobs. His approval rating sits near 10%. Foreign debt has ballooned, wages have stagnated, unemployment rose. What's interesting is this is obviously happening in Britain as well. Yes. And also, in a way, they're Cold War allies, right? Because it's a stalwart against the rise

of communism in Chile and stuff like that. Well, this is why, similar to Afuel Hirsch, for Ronald Reagan, he's going, who the fuck are meant to support him? Yeah. Now, Gautieres, it's a civil war of capitalism, right? Now, Gautierry becomes president in December 81. He's a hard on anti-communist. He has no really political skill. He's widely known as El General Whiskey, because he was heavy drinking. The Whiskey General. The Whiskey General. That's what I call myself. That's not a bad thing to bed. I put this on and drink whiskey downstairs.

I'm not fucking whiskey general. No, I'm not coming to bed. I'm doing my pretending for a bit. I'm a whiskey general. Got these medals. Yeah. Stolen valor of my house. Imagine being arrested for wearing medals,

drinking a whiskey by yourself. Just live streaming saying you fought in the forecast. Now, a councilman. Now, a councilman officer said that he would hold key meetings in the evening after several glasses of scotch, slurring, not as I would do, rambling. I work best at night.

Yeah. Slurring a speech, not just saying slurs. US diplomats reported difficulty in late night discussions because he often became loud, overconfident and erratic. Yeah, Spanish.

He's Argentinian. Yeah. Now, he believes that a swift surgical strike on the Falklands or as he would call them a man in a, would be a symbolic victory

that would unite the public. They would point to sort of national unity and they would re-charge the hunter's regime like a well-timed electrode to the ball here we go we're back in

and he... We have been trying to give it away for like 100 years so like it is kind of fair he's not completely wrong except he is because mummies in town sure now the Britain had just been getting rid of their navy since the war and they're actually about to get rid of the two boats to the aircraft carriers that end up

proving crucial in this. Oh, right. But they're about to. Hey, what? Now. Now? Now they're about to get rid of them now. No, is in the timeline.

We're talking about the Falklands. Right, yeah. You're about to get livid at that. I was supposed to be very annoyed. Yeah. Don't you fucking touch those. The Hunter, essentially, I don't know if they misread Britain's intentions.

I think they basically underestimate how much Thatcher needs a fight. They also underestimate a woman. Like, I don't think this is the, it's not a particularly woke period in Argentina's history. The Hunter are not big on women. no no so they probably don't back her i'd like to reorganize women to go to the sea when actually she's probably the worst problem is to be in a fight her and churchill that's the last person you want leading britain in a war yeah but thatcher's not drinking so that's like sober churchill

and also she loves Churchill yeah she gives her the opportunity to play like drag church yeah they're both going to bed at similar times yes but for different reason is steaming drunk internal military documents from the hunter predicts britain would engage in diplomacy and that's it. So they start planning Operation Rosario. So it was designed to appear as limited action with minimal casualties. The objective was to occupy the islands, secure Port Stanley, and avoid killing British personnel.

There were many intelligence failures about the British response, though. They mistakenly believe the UK would not mobilise due to the defence cuts, the upcoming retirement of their aircraft carriers, as I said, and uncertain about how it's fucking far. But as we said, that's our southern border. Exactly. That is Britain, so it's not far. It's not far. You can't say that Sussex is far from fucking England. No, exactly.

Yeah. What counties the Falklands in? I don't know. It's just south of Brighton. Yeah. Yeah. It's in Sussex. Now, Argentine forces had rehearsed only for scenarios where Britain doesn't fight back. So I feel like...

It probably should have had a plan B, I think. You know, prepare for the worst, hope for the best. But I wonder if all Spanish language forces are always rehearsing for a scenario where they don't have to fight. Yeah. Oh, we just have lunch coming. Oh, brilliant. Brilliant. Yeah.

No, rehearsal done. So, Arton-Tam Marines are under orders to avoid unnecessary force. Okay. So they carried non-lethal options for their initial landing, like riot control gear, 9mm pistols, tear gas, flashbangs, rubber bullets, etc. Now, we then get into, I don't really, I still don't really understand this thing. But in South Georgia. Even more in the middle of nowhere, even smaller, even more miserable, even less people.

It's not even close to the Falklands, really. Can you get up on a map, Charlie, where the South Georgia is? It's maybe like 500 miles from the Falklands. This is essentially a bin. Yeah. An actual bin. It's part of Antarctica, really. It's floating scrap metal yard.

Fuck me. Yeah. Oh my gosh. It's nowhere nowhere near the Falklands. So in the late 1970s, Argentine businessman had signed a deal with a British firm to strip scrap metal from an abandoned whaling station on South Georgia. Right.

Now, the Argentine Navy saw this deal as a useful cover because if they helped to strip the metal, they could quietly insert their personnel onto the territory and test British reaction. Now, are they trying to get South Georgia back because of territorial claim or is it to stop Britain projecting power from there? I think South Georgia...

Oh, they're like, fuck it, let's take it. It's an economic powerhouse. Yeah, of course. If you disable South Georgia, you disable the entire British fleet. Exactly, exactly. It's the centre of the Death Star, South Georgia, right?

The reactor core. There's also, I think they'd drawn up a plan for attacking the Falklands in the winter of 1982 because the weather would be impossible for them to get down there. But because of what happens in South Georgia, they then just bring it forward and also their hothead in Argentina so they just go fuck it, right? So Operation Alpha is this scrap metal thing. In March 1982, yes? If we wanted to, could we just fuck it off and move there?

Like if it all just gets really horrible here, cannot. might just go to South Georgia. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, how many people will live on South Georgia? 32. Any Airbnb in South Georgia? Hotels? No, there are none.

There are no hotels. But I could just bring a load, bring like a tent and some wood. Yeah, I guess so. With these little places, you can just go there. No one's to stop you. You shouldn't be allowed to travel on IQ grounds. It's not safe.

I'll get them my own. You need a buddy system like you had at school. Yeah, I'll take a friend then. Yeah, exactly. You need a friend to cross the road. Would you like to come? No. I'm not your buddy.

You know, it's a horrible time there. No, I'm only going there because I have to go. No, he'd love it. He makes the best of anything. This is brilliant. So, in March 1982, the naval transport Bahia Buenthesco sales from Argentina carrying workers. But the parties infiltrated by Argentine Marines

posing as civilian scientists. They arrive at Leith Harbour, which is the abandoned whaling station in South Georgia, and they go ashore without following the agreed protocol. This is the first strike, as far as I'm concerned. Right.

I think this qualifies... We have clear protocol. Nuclear response, in my mind. Well, immediately. Immediate strike on Buenos Aires. Right. What do you mean? Like an automatic system.

So you don't even have to do it. Yeah. If an Argentine sets foot on South Georgia, I think push the red button. Who are you nooking? Just anyone? Argentine. Okay.

Panama. Fuck it. This is New Panama. Oh, one of them. Fuck it. Send a message. People say Thatcher was, was like, too strong here.

I reckon she used. She looked a lot of them to go. Nuke, Buenos Aires. Newk it. Fuck it. Wipe it off, of course. Start again. Hello, I'm Dorian Linsky. And I'm Ian Dunn. We're the hosts of origin story,

the podcast about the history that shapes our political discourse today. Our eighth season is all about the story of socialism from its earliest experiments to the present day. From Marx to Mao, Lenin to the Labour Party, Gramsci to Gorbachev. We'll be exploring the people,

the events and the ideas behind socialism and communism. So please join us as we journey through an idea that has changed the world. You can listen to us or watch us on video, on Spotify, your regular podcast app, or now on YouTube. Now, they were supposed to clear their arrival with the British Antarctic Survey, who, I mean, they sound like some absolutely stand-up guys. The lads. So when the lads at the British Antarctic Survey had stopped chomping down on Bunder for a second.

Those fucking hooligans. Those absolute horn dogs down to the British Antarctic Survey. When they put their dick... Mill Ultras. When they put their flares down and their dicks back in their pants, they went to go and check what was going on with the scrapworkers. And apparently, these fuckers had defaced British signs. Oh, my God. They had broken into a British Antarctic survey hut and taking emergency rations.

Yeah. You know, those were our pints. The British Holocaust. Yes. We should make a nine-hour documentary like shower, but about this. We call it South Georgia. Yeah. They raised the Argentine flag.

and they shot local reindeer for their meals. Oh my God. Which was a direct breach of conservation rules. Fuck me. Talk about war crimes all you want. One type of person you don't want to piss off is the British Antarctica Survey. Impression of the British Antarctica Survey.

I, excuse me. Excuse me. I'm giving you one warning. It's a reindeer. Have you not read the protocol? I sent it to you. You're not actually allowed to kill those. The 500-page book I sent to you.

You're not allowed to kill those. There's a protected, actually. What are you doing over there? Excuse me. It's a lot of that. Excuse me. Who are you here with? Do you have clearance?

Do you mind? Imagine our hats are bigger. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot of that. The Foreign Office conclude that this was a deliberate test of British resolve to establish an Argentine presence on the teeming metropolis of South Georgia. They sent the message saying that take that flag down.

Yeah. And that the party of hooligans had to report to the British Administrator for formal permission. They refused. as that would imply British sovereignty. Yeah. Right. Now the Argentine Navy

sends the ship with special forces to reinforce the, quote, scrap workers. Yeah. It's a false flag operation right. An industrial scrap yard station.

In the New York of the South. Yeah. It is one of the sexiest starts to war that could ever be. Two weeks later, Argentina invades the Falklands. Okay. So bear in mind,

this is the 3rd of April 1922. Yeah. The Argentinians have occupied South Georgia. there is an invasion our southern southern border this is essentially Kent all right it's just a hop

skipping a jump across the Sussex Downs of the South Atlantic Britain remains unaware of this until the last 24 hours the hunter is expecting national salvation but instead they have poked the bear

that is mummy who will They flick the tit of mummy don't flick mummy's tit she's going to set her growler on you from 8000 miles away there is no way a growler can reach us here

8,000 miles away it can it can and it will the 8,000 mile long growler the Margaret Thatcher story now second of April 82 Operation Rosario begins

Argentine Marines land at Port Stanley thrilling now the Argentine forces consist of Buzos Takedos which sounds like a delicious starter I'd love a Buzas Taititos I think it's actually sort of navy commandos Buzos Takedos

Marine Infantry Battalion 2 Light amphibious vehicles and helicopters What I will say just now I got quite into the military stuff side of this Particularly in the next episode I got So we're going to get bog down We are going to get a bog down Not on this bit

But in the next episode So this hasn't been us getting bog down No I'm getting bog down 20 minutes on South Georgia No On the invasion of South Georgia And we haven't even reached the Falklands Right

The invasion of South Georgia Is the equivalent of Hitler invading Poland It is seismic Yeah There is a before and a after. Yeah. It's a line in the sand.

South Georgia must be freed. They cross the Rubicon. They, exactly. Yeah. In my, if I was on Instagram at this time, I would have hashtag play for South Georgia and whatnot. Yeah. I'd be setting up stand-up comedy nights for South Georgia.

Yeah. I don't know who would be doing them. Maybe Jeff Norkot and that's it. I'd probably have to get real leader involved. Anyway, who is this invasion led by? Admiral Horge Anaya. who's the architect of the invasion Mario Menides

Menendez who sounds like a tricky winger. Yeah, he does. He's a military governor of the Falklands after the occupation and Admiral Carlos Boussa. Here we go. Why is your name got an umlau? If you're Argentinian. Hmm. Now the Argentine soldiers were improvised camouflage made from ripping

up green tarps. Oh, so like improv? Yes, in the Falklands vegetation means that they stand out like neon. Right. Because all the Argentinians are conscripts. Yeah. This is the great point of the actual war. Well, they shouldn't think it would be a proper war. No. They've also put anyone who's trained in the sea. So the Arterstein gear supposedly fails immediately in the cold weather because this is

Britain. So the rifle oil freezes, boots are hardened, the radio batteries die. Now the Royal Marines under Major Mike Norman are defending Government House in Port Stanley. Right. This is the biggest building in the model village. Right. Empire State Building. Yeah. There are 69 Marines and local volunteers. So imagine a lot of fellas with high-vis and maybe.

like, I don't know, a pitchfork against 11,000 Argentinian soldiers. They're outnumbered 40 to 1. They're Nimbis, right? Yes, they are. It's Rourke's drift in the South Atlantic. Right. The Marines were using fixed bayonets, as we'll get

into, this war is actually fucking gnarly. The actual lot of the fighting. Now, the Argentine command are anticipating zero deaths, but they were not prepared for how virulently our boys would protect our territory.

Remember, these guys are cosplaying Britain. Yes. So you're speaking to these people who are playing the myth of Britain out every day. Yes. So they're some of the most stubborn people you ever met. They're waiting for this to happen. Yeah, this is all,

their life's been building up to this. This is their Battle of Britain. It really is. So the first Argentinian to die, the first casualty of the war, is Captain Giacino, who's shot by a Royal Marine. And this shocks the Argentines.

Right. I don't know why you're shocked. You've invaded Sussex. Yeah. And this highlights just how badly Argentina had misjudged the British response. Now, the governor of the Falkland Islands was called Governor Hunt, born in Yorkshire, 1926. He had joined the RAF as a cadet in 41. Now, he had flown Spitfires in India and Germany, and he had moved to, he taken the Falklands job

because it meant he could have an aircraft and then he could carry on flying. Right. He's a hobbyist. He's a hobbyist flying. He drive around Port Stanley in an official London taxi. he's like Noel Edmunds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have I talked about this in the pod?

Yeah, but you can say it again. Noel Edmonds, I used to do Walmart for deal or no deal, and when you walk through the entrance of the offices and parked in the car park would be Noel Edmund's black taxi and it would have a mannequin inside it because that meant he could drive in bus lanes because the cameras would think that it was a taxi with a passenger in the back.

And it was Noel Edmonds driving with essentially a sex doll in the back. he's a weird bloke he's a weird bloke. There's a lot of Noel Edmunds on this island, right? He feels like a Falkland Islander. This is Patient Zero, Noel Edmonds. Forklund Islands.

So the governor of the Falklands is Noel Edmonds driving around in the cab. Anyway, he's sort of half expected an invasion because he'd been following the rising tensions. Yeah, he's awesome. He received definitive warning only 23 hours before the landing in a foreign office message ending

you will wish to make your dispositions accordingly. So he sends his, this is top star. He's awesome. He sends his family and staff away to safety. The housekeeper takes a picture of the queen and a bottle of gin. What else do you need? That's all you need. He went to go get his shotgun only to find his driver had beaten him to it.

And the driver said, I've left the flag up tonight, sir. And I'll shoot any RG bastard who tries to take it down. The war has not even started yet. He's called Sir Rex Hunt, by the way. And this, by his own account... This is the best thing that's ever happened to these guys. Rex Hunt cannot believe his luck. He is so choked with pride

at his driver saying that he'll shoot any Argy Barster who takes the flag down that he tears up. Makes me want to tear up. Look at him. Fucking look at his hat. Ostridge feathers. Hero. Those are ostrich feathers.

This is what I love about this. Instantly, Argy's a slur. New slur. Immediately. New slur. Every war brings a new slur. And that's why we need wars. Because they expand language.

Expand the mind. There's then a battle for government house where Rex Hunt is like hiding in his office with a gun but he's maintaining communication with the island through local radio and there is a... Can we play it? We should find it. It's really good. It's amazing. There's a clip of

the local Falkland radio station and the Argentines are invaded and then he kind of announces that they're... I mean, he's a cartoon British person. It's crazy, yeah. You might hear is that the radio station has now been taken over. We have three Argentines. We have...

Everything recorded in two tapes. Yes. Okay? For the population. Well, just a minute. If you take the gun in my back, I'll try and they all argue on it themselves. But I'm not speaking with a gun in my back.

Basically, he's a classic local radio DJ. Yeah. Next door. Is that a partridge? Yeah, and then... Excuse me. Could you take that gun from my back, please? The Argentines are hot-headed.

They're running around at local radio Australia. Now, after 16 hours of live commentary, this guy does, really he twitch streams he's basically twitch streams for 16 hours and then after skirmishes around government house Argentine helicopters finally set down outside Stanley and deposit what Rex Hunt later describes as a

hoard of red-hatted gold-braided gentleman hugging and kissing each other in typical Latin fashion you're calling them all puffs basically yeah he's calling them all Latino puffs now Hunt orders a ceasefire to avoid civilian deaths he fashions an improvised white flag from a net curtain wrapped around an umbrella

he puts on his full ceremonial governor's uniform complete with the plumed hat so he goes over this is what he looks like goes over to General Osvaldo Garcia who's the commander of the Argentine forces and Garcia basically steps forward

off his hand to shake and Hunt doesn't refuse to shake it Garcia says that's very ungentlemanly and then Hunt says well it's very uncivilised to invade my country and he's wearing an ostrich feather at this point A big part of that sort of resentment daddy issues

is because of English culture had been such a big part of Argentina this myth of the British gentleman their view of it was still cartoonish so they was desperate for them to also be seen as gentlemen so they tried to be what do what they think is British chivalry

William Hanson on the internet and we were all trying to be the most polite possible I really hope he thinks I'm polite they really wanted that and that's why they at least try and act quite gentleman during this battle

How jarring it would be to have, like, the Argentinians doing all the whole kind of, like, shaking hands. It must be, it would be so jarring for Argentine to shake my hand. But it's like, it's like Bond films. Or an Argentina,

but this is fucking jarring. I'm not that you're going to suck me off or something. I'm not going to do something Catholic and fucking suck me off or kiss me in the mouth. What are you trying to shake my hand for? Yeah, so fucking jarring, mate. And they're like kind of insecurely being like,

hello my lady. You know what I mean? There was a bit of that. They're like, shut the fuck up. They don't know to, they don't know how to like, Kurtzio.

How do you do? So Rex Hunt declares you have landed unlawfully on British territory and I order you to remove yourself and your troops forthwith. He is loving it.

I mean, this is the definition of British dads are sort of dormant, right? And a big problem with British dads at the moment. This is what is amazing about this war and this is why it gay really fires Britain up again.

Yes. We're meant to be at war. Cook King. We're not meant to be in our sheds painting spitfires. Cooking. We're not meant to be fucking power hosing our drives

we're meant to be pressure washing Argentinians off the fours and that's in every British dad yes yes it feels like our libidos have been shrunk we're not allowed to get out there we're blue balls it gets taken out with fucking stamp collecting you know reading commemorative coins yeah it's just

you're you're trapped in your armchair desperate give me a gun and a battleship finally he puts his hat on he's like finally look at the ostrich feathers yeah he is pumped. And that goes for everyone who's involved in this war. Yes. British dad's finally allowed to express themselves.

Mummy lets the dads loose. She unsheeds the boys. She does. Argentine troops raise the flag over Port Stanley and the raw Marines are kidnapped and they're then flown home next day via Montevideo.

In Buenos Aires, people go mad. They're women with big hoop earrings and red lipstick are wailing. they're dancing Galtieri gives a famous speech if they want to come let them come

Don't wake up the beast Mommy's coming Galtieri mommy is coming Castionettes are being played I imagine They're This is a great war Because it feels like

He's like guilt free in a way Yeah You're allowed to get all that energy Of like Where the goodies Sort of yeah Well it's just more like No one could care that much

They're white as well So it doesn't have that the racial side to it. Oh, if they've been black. No, of God. We wouldn't be wearing this. It looks terrible. We wouldn't be wearing this.

But this is just the, well, you probably would. But he says that after we did a live pod about the fucking rock strip. You know what, you're right. You're right. We would. It's just on the Patreon only.

That's the biggest lie you've ever told. That's true. That's true. You know what? You keep me honest. You do. You keep me honest. We wouldn't.

I dread to think if there's someone else in the sofa. In front of 800 people. fucking red coat and I absolutely loved it and I'd like to do it again for when we do General Gordon anyway

the Argentinians go mad they're crazy they have to take a week off work because they're drunk the whole time whatever free drinks to soldiers in uniform chanting whoever doesn't jump is English they're doing the Poznan

I don't know anyway Galtieri is like yeah and what love go on then she's like that fucking bird up there. You know the commentary where it's like there's a market

to that church take a Margaret of that show in the football in the 80s? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the Falklands our southern border has been breached.

The Argentines are celebrating. The dads in the sheds with the glasses the end of their nose painting the spitfires they hear it on the radio and they turn it up.

Yeah, and their paintbrush drops to the floor. They take the glasses off. The hats down. My God. Here we've. Here we fucking go. Like soft dicks peeling off the thigh.

The British dads wake up. The great underestimation of how autistic British men can be. It stops now. Our celibacy stops now. Mummy's letting us fuck up the orgies. How will Thatcher respond? In our next episode, we will deal with the task force and the greatest victory.

there's ever been in battle? Ever. Ever. Will Britain take back the Falklands? Find out in our next part of our epic series where the entirety of our Falklands and Thatcher series is already on the Patreon. For £3 a month,

you can plough through Christmas ignoring your family members and your in-laws by spending it on our Patreon. Yes, no bad place to be. That's been Falklands Part 1. We will see you for the Task Force setting sale next time.

You know, I'm going to be. The ...you know. ...and... ...you know. ...you know. ...and...