Fin vs History - Panenka-Assassinations and A Mid Range Hotel | Idi Amin (Part 4/4)

Episode Date: March 19, 2026

Uncle Jaffa, Malala & Antony Gangbang walk into a bar.. welcome to the final part of our epic Idi Amin series. Idi Amin (Part 4) The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened.   For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon  ⁠patreon.com/fintaylor  This episode of Fin vs History is brought to you by Surfshark. Secure your privacy with Surfshark! Enter coupon code FVH for an extra 4 months at https://surfshark.com/fvh Chapters: 00:00 - Real Thick People Shit 07:50 - Printing Money?  12:17 - Antony Gangbang 17:42 - Charlie’s Mortgage 26:10 - Malala’s Hitler Tash 29:21 - Penenka Assassination  34:12 - Ginger Airfryer 36:46 - Uncle Jaffa 40:37 - Hitler in Brazil 45:12 - Bloodsucking Leeches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome back to Finn versus history. It's part four of the Edamian story. Charlie, just want to tell everyone what you've just eaten in the break. Five chocolate coins, two gold bars and two vine leaves. Dolmadas. Dolmadas. Yeah. Two day old dolmadas.

You were just saying how are you done to resist the temptation of the cheap gold coins? Well, Phoebe's put chocolate coins and cheap chocolate coins. It's one of my cryptocytes. I have several kryptonites. And Phoebe gave me some bread. To the point where it's no longer a kryptonite, isn't it? Because it isn't cryptonaut? I wouldn't how many cryptonite you can have.

Yeah, that's true. That's true. It's kryptonite. Just mentioned for your Achilles heel. Does the count if it is across your whole body? I have eight legs. Right. The heel's the only safe part of your body.

The rest is... Yeah, the rest is... The Achilles rest of the body. Yeah. Yeah, that's true, actually. He does to say that I have an Achilles' finger, I have an Achilles' head, an Achilles' neck,

and Achilles belly. Yeah. But no, cheap chocolate with, like, expensive, wanky coffee is one of my all-time combinations. I think expensive chocolate is work nonsense. Similar to craft beer, fuck off. I completely agree, apart from straight rum with a bit of... Calm down.

With a bit of nice, dark chocolate is actually very nice. I live in Bethnal Green. I'm having straight rum with the honeys. Yeah. I'm drinking henny and having lint. Yeah. I'm eating chocolate coins. Anyway...

You're like a cash machine. I am. Speaking of men who probably did eat chocolate coins. Part four of the idiomene tale. and listen our boys on the ropes he's been a great laugh but people have starting to not find him

as funny now yeah the joke's getting tired yeah the Kaufmanesque you know playing on the racial stereotypes of Central Africa you know it's starting to be like are you actually just mad yeah so in the late 70s

in Uganda it's a pretty fruity time the economy's in the toilet it's fruit a big part of the economy Sorry? It's fruit part of the economy. I don't know, actually. I think it's mainly coffee. Right.

Now, just to recap, Eid Amin had a dream telling him to get rid of everyone who's Asian, and he'd acted on it and expelled the entire middle class. Yeah. Gone. That's the long road to Pretty Patel. That's worked out quite well for us. But they also accounted for 90% of his tax revenue. Right.

I tax you more? Yeah. I get more money. Yes. You've seen that? That's the Chancellor, the same guy that we talked about. Really? Another.

Listen. I tax you more, I get more money. So what is the context for him saying this? Money moving in the air. This is him just, the chance for explaining, he's being accused of corruption, he's just explaining. Charlie did economics at UCL. Yeah, so this is a Ugandan chancellor.

Just play this clip. Businesses expand. You people, you earn more money. I tax you more. So because I tax you more, I get more money. So that's the kind of, that's the Ugandan. That's a true. of economics.

Businesses expand, you make more money, I tax you more, I get more money. If I send everyone who runs a business away, there's no money. Right.

Which is what Ede Amina's done. What Stahmer's doing. Is it? Well, I don't know. There's what everyone says he's doing. But he's doing it to whites. Yes. Everyone's saying that

all that everyone's going to Dubai and therefore the tax base is going, right? Yeah. But it's, I guess you don't want to just judge the quality of a country on its tax base

because the people that move into Dubai are to a man cunts. I don't want anything to do with them. Yeah, if they're like, I'd rather move to Dubai to evade tax. I'd rather pay more tax and not have to talk to anyone who wants to go to Dubai. How important is the economy?

Is it important as having those fucking... Exactly. It's one aspect of life. Yeah. I would rather pay more money, fuck the NHS. I have more money to not have to hang out with 30% of the population.

I'd go private. Yeah. To not hang out. To private friends. I don't want these nationalized people on Saturday night. hanging around turkey teeth fucking Dubai's brilliant

well yeah for you yeah yeah yeah it's a cultural vacuum built by slaves of course you fucking love it it's a skyscraper in a desert anyway real thick people shit real thick people Mark Anthony Fitness what is it Charlie what's the thing that they're building in Dubai or they've given up building that big

that's Saudi Arabia wasn't it that's the tunnel oh is that it's the line like the long city yeah they've given it up HS3 of course they've given it up which is amazing because they You just can't do something where you talk about something that's genuinely unbelievable and get everyone's like,

that's amazing that we can do that and say, no, we can't. Actually, it's ridiculous. Impossible. You can't do that much branding about it and, like, get that. That's too hard. You course it's too hard, but then don't pitch anything like remotely like that. It was, what is it? It was like meant to be 200 kilometres of a lined city

in the desert, perfectly air conditions, and you can get from one end to the other in 20 minutes. They start, then there was the pitch of the diggers. So I saw the beginning bit where they dug like a trench, which was about 500 metres long. Yeah. And I was like, maybe like it's starting to. And then they went, maybe they dug another trench and they're like,

it's going to take ages. It's like fucking ages. Nah. Why don't we just build a normal city rather than one line? Because actually they didn't just cancel it immediately. They said we've changed it actually. We've been a bit too ambitious. So they changed it from 200 kilometres to one kilometre city.

And then they said, nah, it's for. Fuck it off. Fuck it off. Fuck it off. So, Ediamine's infrastructure begins to collapse. So he sees his properties and businesses, hands them out as reward to his army officers. They then don't have any skills to run the businesses, which means industrial, industry declines, right spread looting.

Nothing works. The UK sever's diplomatic relations in 1976. That's after Ediamine has personally killed the most Jewish women of all time in the TB air raid. Yeah, by overcharging her for a coffee. She takes her own life because she sees the prices of the sandwiches in the airport. Very sad story. Anyway, in 1978, the US imposes a trade embargo where they stop buying Ugandan coffee.

And in return, they stop supplying oil. Coffee's big in Uganda. It's because it's a wet. Do we have a lot of Ugandan coffee here? Wanky coffee shops, I guess. I prefer South American. I like Colombian the best. in general.

I don't know. It's slightly fruitier. And I mean that in the actual sense of the word fruity. I know that for me fruity can mean

gay, racist, you know, genocidal or fruity. And in this instance, I prefer Colombian coffee. Can you chat if we see the most respected coffee regions in the world?

Let's just see. Is there like a... Burundi and Rwanda and Central Africa is all very... Yeah. Kenya. East Africa, that's all,

yeah. We've got most respected coffee areas in the world. What's the kind of general Ethiopia birthplace. Yeah, okay. Yeah, Columbia's the birthplace of wine. The gold standard. No Nauts ranking. That's why I want. Ethiopia number one. Undisputed goat. Then Panama. Right. Panama, fuck off. Can we make our own coffee? Like if I have a coffee beat, plant, can I make my own coffee in the garden? Yeah, you need to roast the beans. Roast the beans. And then you can then

grind them and then you put them through a coffee machine. So I can have my own coffee. Yeah, you can do that. You do any, Charlie, you could do anything. You, yeah. No, sorry, you can do something. You can't do anything. You can do some things. He can't do anything. No, you can't do anything. You can't do anything. No, so that's what you meant.

I meant you can't do anything. I meant you're a fucking idiot and you can't do anything. You can't do anything. Sorry, I mince my words there. There's nothing you can do. No. So, the US stops buying Ugandan coffee. But there was also, wasn't there a thing where,

due to some kind of, some crisis, it meant that even though the US stopped supplying stopped buying coffee stop buying the coffee the coffee still boomed i think so there was there was still moments of like where they could international uh conditions meant that the ugandan economy sort of similar to like thatcher privatizing everything but because of north sea oil we were sort of oh so they found like a windfall there was oh that's it there was a massive global supply shortage because of a frost that destroyed the Brazilian coffee crop in the 70s right so Ugandan coffee was able to still have a bit of a boom.

However, by 78, that had sort of corrected. So anyway, so the US has stopped buying Ugandan coffee. There is hyperinflation. God, it's terribly sad. He's printing money to fund the military. Very sad. The cost of living for low-income workers goes up 531% by 977. Amin just spends all the money.

money in the army. He does whiskey runs to bring in Scotch whiskey, stereos and watches for offices. A vast amount of foreign currency is basically spent on luxury goods and weapons for the army. But he's basically spending all the money on his army, who he, by the way, he's killed a lot of, and the army's just his maids. Which will become crucial later on the story. What is it, Charlie? If he didn't tell anyone and he just printed loads of money and then had spies going to different shops and spend the money, but it didn't mean anything,

but nobody knows it doesn't mean anything apart from him and his team. You did do economics? Then, um... You have a batch of... No, I know. But if he did that, then why could he not just make the economy fine again? If he didn't tell anyone that he was printing loads of money?

Because no one would know. I don't actually know, but I feel that's like the first thing you learn in economics is why you can't print money. Yeah. Do you know? It's fundamentals. Do I know?

To be fair to Charlie... You don't know. The printing money thing doesn't quite make sense because I do also sometimes think... What if you don't tell anyone? How do they know? Right, so if you print money secretly and don't tell anyone. No one knows.

No one knows. Like, is that tenor? So like your granddad, go, your parents... Has someone got spidey senses. He's a tenor. Don't tell your dad, he's a tenor. But he's printed that. Yeah, but he's printed it.

He's printed it. Right. So he's doing that, but that tenors never exists. It's counterfeit. So your ground's given you a counterfeit, no. You have to go and spend it on that. It's not counterfeit. It's official, but no one...

The treasury, the reserves don't know. You have to go buy that man. with it. You have to buy it. No, no, because you have to because that means the mango guy gets money as well. And then we're all getting paid.

That's cleaning it. That's laundering. No, it's not. Yeah, it is. I don't know. So you don't know? I don't know. So if you print money

but don't tell anyone, then it's fine. So when it's like, oh, this country's broke, we can't print money because everyone will find out about it. There's someone who don't on the fly. Yeah.

You have like two extra billion that you found somewhere else. Does that immediately devalue all money? How do they know? well that's it it's like yeah it is if I get two billion I put it

at my attic no one knows about it that doesn't mean that doesn't cause inflation it's only when I start taking it out that's because you're meant to do when you get money is take it out the economy going to Canaan Islands

Cayman that's why the Caribbean exists okay you're meant to say yeah take it out of the economy so they can't spend it on the fucking health service this is everyone in a private members club

they saw like they had a stroke yeah yeah that's right if you talk about money talk about the Cayman Islands you got to be a non-dom in the UK don't pay pay here.

Exactly. Up to 90 days. No, I don't know why idiomines economy collapses, but to my head it makes more sense that he just kicks out

all the Asians and the economy goes through the floor because Asians are good at maths. All right. Happy? You've made Finn be racist

he doesn't want to be. You forced him to turn to racial stereotypes which he hates to do. I hate that. He's going to be beating himself up in the shower this evening.

For fuck saying. Can't believe Charlie made me say that. He's got a degree in economics and he's made me say... Who brought me down to a level of resorting to just buy the number stereotype. To be fair, my, my theory makes as much sense as what he said.

Yeah. You get rid of the Asians, suddenly no one can count anymore. That's not really a theory. That's the truth. Thank you. It's literally the truth. So suddenly, everyone is, all the Ugandaners that run shops are like, one, two, three, but hey, where, what?

They don't, they can't count. So, the economy's in the toilet, okay? Edia mean is on the ropes. all his army officers have massive gold watches. They don't have class. There are several crises in the late 1970s that undoes ED-Ameen. This is probably the most brutal.

In February 19707, let's replace this. This is just before Star Wars. Or is it? Oh, Star Wars might be 70s. No, it is 77, but what month is Star Wars come out? May. Oh, lovely stuff. It's just before Star Wars.

Is it just after? No. that's later. Is it just after England didn't qualify for the World Cup in 1974? No, fuck. I know it. I know it. Sorry.

It's just before Star Wars and is after the first ever Penenka penalty. Okay. Let's have a look. Which I believe is 76. Oh, that is nice. An army of unemployed men have just come in their pants. What a placing that is. The first ever Penenka, which is pretty amazing.

because everyone's just like, what the fuck, you can do that? It's a life well lived if you have something like that named after you. Yes, that's true. People won't even know it's a guy. Penenka will become,

in 100 years, people will still call it Penenka. Yeah. I'm not even know it's a guy. But it makes sense calling it Penenka. Something that surprised me recently. Do you know Pilates is named after a guy? You're joking.

John Pilates? John Pilates? The gangbang. Type in Pilates. Sorry? Anthony Gangbang as well. How'd you come up with that? Hang on.

Is that nominal determinism? Which one of, which one of them? Would you name after a gangbang? Because if a gangbang is more than one? Yeah, but the ringleader. Yeah, the guy who... I've never had a gangbanks.

If the surname's like Campbell, Smith and Gangbang, I'll be like, well, let's use your surname. I've never had a gangbang. Look at Joseph Pilates. You're joking. It's a bloke. Joey Pilates. He's a German.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, so Joseph Pilates, so it's a sort of Mad Men era 50s stuff, right? He politely started with the reformer machine that he invented. and it's to get women fit on a reform. But he's a bit of a creep. Like he's all just got these, look at him. Tiny wife. You're joking.

And look at him holding this woman's thighs. Look at that. He's just grabbing your ass. This is nonsense. Helping himself to ass. Right. So my wife, my wife does reform and Pilates.

He took me to a class once and I thought it was mad. It's on this huge, it looks like a sort of sex machine. Yeah. Medieval torture device. But this makes so much sense that it was a German bloke in the 50s going, I reckon, no, I'm going to hold your legs like that, stretch you out.

Joseph Pilates, World War II. Let's, come on. German of this era. Come on. Is Pilates tainted by the Nazis? Is Pilates Nazi? Is it Nazi yoga? That's what I want to know.

Joseph Pilates was not a Nazi. He chose to leave Germany in 20... Traitor! He left in 25. He was unhappy with the country's political direction. Creep. Traitor, turn, To be fair, he has come...

That's pretty good to leave in 25. Pretty nuts. Do you know what? I feel disgusting that I went to Pilates. I'm a yoga guy. Is yoga Nazi? Charlie, why are you Google Bukaki? Is it named after someone?

Maybe it's Brian Bukaki. No, it would be Japanese, surely. Jordan Bukaki. Hidiyoshi Bukaki. It probably is. Gordon, Gawden, Bukaki. Gordon Bukaki. And Ian Butts stuff.

And Ian Butstuff. Right. So yeah, Joseph Polarty, shout out. Anyway. What's great about it. about a penenka is it's a vibe but you can use the term should we penenka these sandwiches and it's like what would you do what is you you go to you penenka is it you go to look like yeah that's what I mean you go to look like you're about to eat it really disgusting

and then you actually eat it really politely yeah you canenker a um what are you going to say yeah i was going to say that Yeah, you could. Go on, Charlie. I think it's when you like talk up how good you are at Kana Lingus, but you actually don't know what you're doing.

There's going to be nothing left when I'm finishing with this. Yeah, no. No, I tell you, I tell you what penankering pussy is. It's when men are like, I'm going to fuck you, I'm going to fuck you all night long.

And then you have sex with 30 seconds. You go, I'm so tired. I'm going to go to bed. And you just fall. Yeah. But then it's not so far. You say, I'm going to fuck you so hard. Then while just jeeing yourself up,

you come in the condom before. Oh, you're going to have the night. Oh, I. Oh, fuck. Oh, no. What was it? There's something very funny about a man, preparatory ejaculating and immediately falling asleep.

Oh, no. It doesn't happen. It's just so peaceful and happy. It's not our fault that the cum button is the same as the sleep button in my head. You're going to have the night if you're like. Wake up, wait out. Best sleep we've ever had. Kerm.

Kerm. I had the night of my life. What asleep. Came my pants. I don't know who she was. I was. Just trousers around your ankles. Bosch.

Best night's sleep ever had. Anyway, in 977, this is actually very dark. Sorry. Archbishop Janui Luwam, who I imagine is like, are we talking Archbishop Tutu vibes?

Now, he is the Archbishop for, I think, Rwanda and Burundi, as well as, like, Central African Archbishop. It's like a diocese that he's an Anglican? More than just Uganda.

So is he C of E? Well, church Uganda is Anglican. Church of Africa. Right. So. It's got a very kind face. He is, he writes this blunt, very eloquent critique of Idi Amin's rule and publishes it in February 977.

What's it saying? I don't know what it says. But it's blunt and eloquent. It was blunt and eloquent. He writes this critique of Amin's rule and Amin responds with treason charges and, and, and brands him and others agents of Milton Abote, who's still knocking about in Tanzania. Yeah, Abate is still about.

He drags them to the Nile Hotel, where there are 2,000 soldiers and TV cameras. He stages a forced confession, which is broadcast to Uganda, and in the next day, Uganda and TV announces that coincidentally, the Archbishop had died in a car crash. That's a, that's a mad question.

Which is such a shame. It's such a shame. Who would have thought? But apparently, when they find the body, The body was also clearly beaten to death as well. And had gunshot ruins. But you know, you don't know how the car... Wrapped around the tree, you know.

Had the car crashed into a gun. Maybe the tree shot the... Yeah, I mean, the tree clearly shot the archbishop. Yeah. Reports say that ADME maybe shot the archbishop himself. But this is kind of like beyond the pale for a lot of the people who... At this point, a lot of black Africans, a lot of the Gannas are still supporting him. Yeah.

Because they love his vibe. and a lot of the deaths have been like... We don't blame him. We love his vibe. You know? If I'm in Uganda in the 70s, I'm like, he's laughed. Yeah.

I guess being an archbishop to death is not like... I mean, riddling an archbishop with bullets. Yeah. I mean, I guess it's sort of like a Monty Python sort of sketch a little bit. A bit, yeah. Like kind of making fun of me, you know, citizens of power, maybe.

Yeah, maybe. I guess if you're the head of the power, though, that's not... Yeah, it doesn't... Can you do that? Yeah, I guess that's when you punched down in comedy. Yes. You need to punch up.

Yeah. So, but Le Wum's death galvanises opposition and sort of takes any remaining legitimacy he had kind of away from him. And so a lot of the corruption within the army starts to show and the fact that 60% of the army's top ranks come from the same tribe that he does,

it starts to be a bit icky, I guess. He then supposedly Because, supposedly he's now, he's mainly getting drunk on crem de cacao. What's? that is that like chocolate milkshake booze? Can you Google it Charlie?

Crem de Cacao is a sweet chocolate favorite liqueur. It's like Cafe Pat Patrown. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. Yeah. Do you like that? It has a time of place. It's fine. It's fine.

It's a bit rich. Drinking it heavily is mental. Getting drunk off crem de cacao. I think having a shot at Christmas makes sense. Oh, that's quite nice. But that being your like go to. It's African Bayleys. I'll have the usual and it'll be in a cremda cacao as funny.

Why are you bally's? So he gets gout. He might have had syphilis. Throughout his descent, there are many assassination attempts on him which make him more paranoid. In June 1976, three grenades are thrown at his car.

Now, that's also around the time of the first Penenka. So they might have gone like this. Oh. They might have gone like, oh, I'm very good. Oh, they could have just done it with the foot. Just fucking chipped in that. Could I just chip the grenade?

Yeah. June 77, there's a coup attempt called Operation Mafutamingi. Mafutamigi, who's that? That sounds like, what you're fetching. Don't talk about when I'm a mafutimingi like that. Put your mafutamigi away. Come on.

We're talking about words for, you know, your daughter's frontwat. A mafutamig. A mafutimji. You can't go to school with your mafuti mingi showing. What's African, what are Africans calling vagina?

Yeah, I mean, they must have some great names for it. African-Ugandan slang for vagina. Operation Mafutumini, which is Swedish. It's for Healy. It's Suhili for too much cooking oil. What is? Mithutum Inji.

Sorry. Guava. Tonga. Gwava is slang termed for giant. That's a fruit. Tonga, that's a bit unfair, according a whole country. Pum-pum. That's West African, is it?

Well, there you go. I like Guava. Guava's a nice name. Now, the coup attempt, Mahfutumingi is when dissident soldiers and pilots aim to eliminate Amin at Entebbe Airport. But he escapes to camp He supposedly goes into hiding.

And the State Research Bureau, his secret place with the quiz show contestant Hawaiian shirts on, they then do a joyride of a body double through Kampala to show that he's still in control and unhurt. He gets into body doubles by the end of that thing. He's got loads of just massive black guys. He's like, yeah, that's my body double. He then goes on a honeymoon with his...

It would be great to have. Have a body double that gets assassinated. How smug would you feel? You would feel smug, actually. Everyone thinks that you're dead And then you're like Do you know what That's what

Pretty Patel's smile is Yeah Her body double I've just had sex with her body double I've just had sex with her body double And she's like Because you just let you let them Have it for a bit

So that you know They're gonna celebrate They think you got them And then you just do Excuse me Lewis make piece is the name Charlie's just Google Heratio Gawdorf look like

It's very funny to have a body double That's just Let's get the goat No I have Horatio Type in Lewis Make Piece I wonder if people would No this wasn't me I hope so.

We should get him on the sofa one. I mean, from a distance, a sniper, they might not be able to tell his height. It's like a fuck boy. It's very similar. He's very similar. We're looking at him now. It's a good moment to switch to video if you're listening

because it does look a lot like you. But I'm just saying if I'm an African dictator, I don't know if you'd have to be a sniper far, far away to fall for this body double, I feel. Yes, you would. I mean, I guess if I made sure that all my bodyguards are the same height, so it seems in perspective. and it's a tiny car as well.

Finn. Then maybe through it. Who's that? That's you. Charlie. Charlie's just got a hideous orc up and there's an attempt to brass Finn. And he's now laughing hysterically behind the microphone.

He's got the ugliest orc he could find and said, Finn, that's you. That's not even close to me, though, is it? Dolep and an ork. Yeah, that would be your body double, mate. Right, brilliant. I mean, brilliant. You're ugly, mate.

What is this? I'm married. You go on Saturday night, you go and watch Paul and sent Charlesbury Avenue. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to meet the love of my husband. life that one.

Really? Yes. How did you meet? We watched black and white French film where someone anal gaped in a garage. It was technical color actually. Was it?

Yeah. Are you short from the 60s? I wasn't gaping either. You Scott owned there. Yeah, you're right. I did. I take it back. It wasn't gaping.

No, you're right. You are going to get... You're fucking idiot. It wasn't gaping. You are going to get a mortgage one day. You're right. It wasn't gaping. Actually, she just had her ass out.

Fucking idiot. Yeah, fucking idiot. What's that? Loan denied? anyway because when you get in a mortgage you have to show what your expenses are you have to tell the bank

what you spend money on is that big thing about racial bias when it comes to like loan denial it favours white people does it not I wouldn't know but I'm just saying that Charlie I think squanded all of that privilege

yeah totally totally because you go to a bank and you say this is what I did you have to show your bank statement from that week I go, oh, all right, what do you do here? I watched the French... You spent £410 on the Friday, didn't you? Yeah.

On a... Got massive Turkish, went to a porn cinema. It's been about 200 quid on cheap drugs that fucked you up for four days. And they'd just be seemable like, yeah, we're not giving you... Sorry, you're not... You need to buy this outright because we're not going to give you a mortgage. Anyway, ediamine survives 13 assassination and coup attempts in the first six years. Eat the cuckoo.

Eat the cuckoo. Eat decoucuh attempts by 977. There is a mutiny within the Ugandan army in October 78. They ambush him at his lodge and he escapes with his family by helicopter. This is an ambush. That's what I'll be saying. You know when people just drop that into conversation? Get your hands off my penis!

That's what I'd say. To set up the final scene of Amin's reign, he's always, this is the entire time, he's been looking for a fight with Tanzania. Similar to me. I'm always looking for a fight with them. Fuck them. Fuck them.

Fuck you. They're smug. You are smug with that huge mountain. We get it. We get it. You've got a big mountain. What else have you done, Tanzania? Yeah.

What else have you done? So, I mean, thinks that a war with Tanzania would rejuvenate his failing domestic support. This is kind of a classic move, right? Yeah. Problems at home, start a war. It's diversion. Trump with the Epstein things.

Fucking. Genuinely. Just yonke. Just yonke. Whoops. I love that. The president of town. Tanzania is called Julius Nayareri.

It's a very hard word to say. Nayarero. Nayarra. It's a bit like banana. You don't know how long it goes on. Naranara. Naeranana. Naerna.

Julius Nayara. Anyway, he's first prime minister of Tanzania. He's one of Africa's sort of best known post-colonial leaders. He's a pan-African. Well, the fact that we've never thought about doing an episode on it means he probably was quite good. Yeah. Boring. Boring.

You know, he believed it's African self-reliance. Boo, boo. But he has a Hitler mustache. Get that photo up. That's not bad. My God, I'm confused. Why am I Hitler? Look at him.

My minds. Now, there's a lot. Telling me no. He's telling me, yeah. Now, this is the era. Now, again, it's the 60s, and he's got a fucking full Hitler tash. Too soon. But it feels like... Not soon enough.

Mugabe had a Hitler tash, you know, Abote had a Hitler Tatech. In Africa in the 60s, Hitler Tashers were not... Who was the one, the Guatemalam guy? Oh, yeah. Arbenz. Arbenz, yeah.

He had a Hitlatash. And that was in the 50s, I think. Yeah, South America as well. Yeah. He had a Hit Latash. But it feels like, not Malala. No. She doesn't have Hitler Tash.

No, Julio Arbens, Guatemala. Not Guatemala. Lala. But my point is in the 60s, you could, in Africa, they're not fucking worried about. You could wear a Hitler tachish. freely. Well, clearly, Hitler, World War II

doesn't really mean the same thing. Well, there's a Nibibaldiang guy called Adolf Hitler. There's a Namibian politician. To this day. Yeah. Quite a successful local counsellor, it seems. Crazy. Anyway, Julius Naira Varevare has got an exquisite Hitler-Tash, I might just say.

Now, Nairi thinks that Amin is an embarrassment. And Amin's feud with Tanzania begins when Abote is given safe harbor there. and Amin never really forgives Nairi for offering and refuge. And then there's a moment in like quite early in Amin's reign where Nairari supports a failed invasion of Uganda by some exiles. Yeah. And this angers Amin even more.

This again in, I don't know when this is, at some point in the 70s, he challenges Nairari to a boxing match. This is straight out of the Amin playbook. With Mohammed Ali as referee. So this is what, I mean, what you are, Can we find out what year this is? Because at what point has Muhammad Ali defeated George Foreman? Rumble in the jungle?

When's that? 74. Okay. So Ali's probably retired, maybe by that. I want to assure you that I love you very much. And if you had been a woman, I would have considered marrying you, although your head is full of grey hair. But as you're a man, that possibility does not arise.

So you also kind of love bomb him? Yeah, there's a weird, psychosexual thing. I don't know what's going on. Anyway, there is tutorial disputes over a region, like a border region, in October 78. He just sends in troops. Yeah. Some of his Gaddafi's Libyan mates. Part of the reason that happens

when you have multiple wives, there's no one actually checking on you. He's got a complete... Very good point. Because I think the wife, as a thing, it's someone to check on you in older age and a man needs to be checked on. Yes.

But you have too many wives. One wife thinks you're being checked on by the other, but you're not being checked on by anyone. So we talked about this in an earlier episode in this series about the dream of having so many wives that you can Homer Simpson away from the kids. the flip side of that coin is that all the wives think you're being checked on by another wife

you're not getting checked on so you're starting a war with the prime minister of fucking Tanzania and sending him love letters you're doing weird what you're being weird you're not on messaging you're missing it's late at night you're being odd so he gets Gaddafi's troops and some of the an Arafat his best man

they all send troops as well and he invades Tanzania on the 25th October 1978 they were asking for it though yeah now they take them by surprise however Within a few miles of going over the border, Edia means World War II-era tanks break down, run out of fuel,

crews just walk away and leave them stuck in the mud. They then also, the true nature of the military is exposed here because he's killed everyone in the military. There's any good. And so now a lot of the Ugandan's just start drinking, they start killing each other. They start killing just random civilians.

Thanks, bro. Should we kill each other? Yeah, fuck it. I've promised to fight, but my car's broken down. They're wearing a mixture of like uniforms and stolen shoes, jeans. You know when you see, you know when you see someone at the gym in jeans?

I'm always just like, what? RFK Junior. Yeah. He works out, topless. Every now and then in the gym, you're like, is it sort of like a... Did you not plan on coming here today? Why are you wearing jeans?

Well, you see someone going for a run in denim. But it's similar to the African goalkeeper, the archetype of the African goalkeeper in trousers. There's the African, the Ugandan soldier, wearing tracksuit bottoms and football boots. Anyway, I guess maybe this is after comic relief has started.

Right. So they're getting a lot of old football shirts. I see. Who knows? They kill around 1,500 civilians. They just fire weapons into the air. They run out of bullets by the time that the Tanzanians turn up.

I always think that when you fire bullets in the air. Fuck, we need them. How expensive ammunition must be? And also, they must come down. They must come down. Has anyone died from falling bullets? Many people have died from falling bullets. It's a phenomenal economy associated with celebratory gunfire.

They can travel over a mile and return to a sufficient force to penetrate the human skull. It'd be quite a good way of killing someone. Like, there's a legal grey area. It's because it's not murder. It's manslaughter. If you shoot someone is murder. Are you penancoring it into them? This is Penanker.

Penanker assassination is to fire into the air and then time it so that when they walk, it gets, and you penenka killed him. Because if you shoot them. And you just put a hard hat on. And you just do it. You go, ah, and the bullet goes, oh, like the same way the ball does. Yeah. Yeah.

Because if you shoot them face on, that's murder. Yeah. Shoot in the air, and then the bullet gets them, that's manslaughter. It's true. You never hear what happens to the bullets. Anyway, so Tanzania then attack Uganda. They declare war, and they push Amin's troops back. The Ugandan army starts to collapse.

The Soviet Union, they pull out. All the Libyan and Arafat's boys, all fuck off. They're like, do you know what? It's not worth it. And then Nairi makes the decision to go, do you know what? Fuck, fuck Edie, I mean, let's go into Uganda and get rid of this clown. Yeah, fair enough. And they then, that's when they then find that all the Ugandan forces have committed atrocities. They've just basically started executing each other. They shot wounded comrades rather than slowing down. What's gone on here? You're just going in? What? Again, they're wearing track two bottoms. They're wearing like a 1996 Chelsea shirt.

Yeah, it's going to an afters. And then you walk in immediately saying, I shouldn't. I shouldn't be it. I shouldn't. I should have gone home. I really should have gone home. Five of the worst people I've seen and a Ui boom quietly going. You know, never leave a man behind?

Yeah. I'll just shoot him and then shoot him and go on, I guess. Always shoot a man. Always shoot your own men. So Tanzania forces enter Kampala on the 10th of April, 1979. Amin had to be held back by his guards because he wants to die in battle.

Well, it's kind of interesting because he feels like he should die in battle. It feels like that's how the story should end in blaze of glory. But he doesn't. But also remember, he says that he knew when he was going to die. Yeah, so maybe he thinks it's this day. Interesting. Anyway, so he then escapes to the Sudan by helicopter,

or it's a border town called Ginger, which is maybe the home of the air friar. It's in Uganda. Then the Ginger Airfriar, he delivers radio speeches saying that he's still in control. he also says that although there's a state of emergency all Ugandan housewives will be very happy because their husbands will get to spend time with them.

Okay, silver linings. Yeah, which is a bit like when there was a three-day week in Britain and the government said, why didn't you explore your sexuality? Yeah. They didn't say explore sexuality. They said explore sex like sex positions. On the 23rd of April Libyan aircraft Gaddafi flies, I mean, to Tripoli. Yeah.

And the regime collapses as soon as he left. Yeah. So by 1980, Ugandan, now it must be said that we'll deal with Edia means the rest of his life, but Uganda doesn't really improve ever. No.

It's the long road to Joseph Coney. Yeah. And allegedly, his use of child soldiers, allegedly. They might have loved doing it. So he hangs out with Gaddafi and Tripoli. Because Coney was like a sort of like a military pido

where it's like the age of consent for like being in the army. Yes. like the same sort of arguments, right? Yes, he wasn't. They were asking for it. I don't know if that's for Pido's. Is that what Pido's saying?

Look what he's wearing. I think he's wearing a school uniform. He's an army Pido. He's wearing a school uniform. Yeah. Getting a 10-year-old to fight, you know. Right. What is the age that they can consent?

I think, I think, do you know what? I think we need a new word. Yeah, probably. For, um, we could make it now. Hiring child soldiers. Yeah, for hiring child. Like, you know, pedophilia is a separate thing. Pedophite?

Pedofite. Pida. No, I think Pido is the problem. So it needs to be child soldier. What's the Latin for child, for child soldier? Pura Miele. Miele. So Pida Milly.

Pida Milly file. Pidomilophile. No, because that means, that means fighting children you want to fuck. Mini, mini, millie. Mini Milly. Mini Mili file. Right. Anyway.

We'll get back to it. We'll work on the Patreon. We'll put a pit in it. So he hangs out with Gaddafi in Tripoli, but quite quickly it's like, this place is pretty pooy actually. I'll want to get out of it. Yeah. So he goes to Saudi Arabia.

And this is where we enter the final chapter of Idiot Means Life, which I said in the last episode is him going to the sunset. He gets given the top two floors of the Novatel Hotel in Jeddah. And him and his sixth wife and 25 of his kids live on the top floor of a Novatel for the next 20 years like fucking Alan Partridge. It's Patrick after the divorce. It is Partridge after the divorce. wars he's just living in a travel tavern and he's given a 30,000 dollar, is it a month,

stipend by the Saudi government to keep quiet and stay out of politics. I don't know, I don't know what's in it. They're paying him to shut up. But what's in it for them? Because he could go anywhere and they're just like, yeah, we like your vibe. I guess they like to see themselves as like a bit of a negotiator for the region. They've got lots of money. Yeah. So they can keep idie out. I feel that's like good for everyone involved. I guess so. And they're trying to look for stability in the region, I guess. And he is. He's, he's Muslim. Lim, I suppose, as well. So anyway, he lives on the top floor of the hotel,

and for the next 25 years, it seems, he just, you know, it's dad on holiday. 25 years? He goes mosque, he swims. Spent time of supermarkets? I just money into Idiot in the supermarket. He's just, I bet he's doing a lot of this, just holding up oranges going,

just feeding them. Supposedly, this is when he becomes a frutarian, right? So, which is not a... that is a good that is a good that is a good slur though a bit of a frueterian you know what i mean he only eats fruit if you get me uh and this is when he supposedly lives off just 40 oranges a day and he gets the nickname uncle jaffer but yeah he just fascinating he fucking that's so rare he that never happens he genuinely retires for a man who loved attention that much for a man who kept putting himself under the spotlight he felt like he'd done everything but like also he'd

relatively short rain as well. It is. Eight years. He is. This is what I mean. It's a happy ending. Yeah. Look at what,

look at what happened to Gaddafi. Even Pol Pot is then put under house arrest. He carries on the fight. You know? Mao, Mao has a stroke. Saddam Hussein fucking gets hung. Saddam Hussein's hung.

Hiding in a hole. Amin lives on the top floor of a fucking three-star hotel. Right? Goes to the gym. Fucking bonnet. Goes mosque. He's oranges. He just watches sport.

You know what I mean? He's like a granddad. What happened to Idi Amin's kids? They all have normal jobs. Because he has so many of them. He has nearly 60 kids. One of them got arrested for, I think, being part of an armed robbery in Britain, maybe. But a lot of them just are sort of pretty...

Yeah, he just... He genuinely just retires and has a retirement. And, you know, spends time with his kids. and on top of an overtail and then he gets like a 15th bed house at some point in Saudi and just sort of bobs about and I just think that what a lovely end to the story

Do you think he feels any guilt or any or reflects at all on what he's done? No. No. What's going on there? Well, just fuck it. I did it. The thing is, is that dictators, their great curse is that they,

you know, you can't, once you're doing that, there's only one way that you're getting out, which is bang. Thing up the ass. Or up the ass. right those are the two genders for how a dictator's deposed

bang right now with amin he genuinely seems to be able to say to himself do you know what I did it I enjoyed it it ended and now I'm in a new phase of life where I'm meeting oranges and Saudi

hanging out with my kids do you know and I think that's a beautiful end of the story it is he dies in 2003 you know so he lives a long he dies in his late 70s probably although no one knows how old he is So the lesson of your dictator, once you're ousted, don't go back for more. Don't go back for seconds.

Just accept the... Except the lovely portion of what it is. Be in the moment. Enjoy it while it lasts. You know, you retire to another country, you tire abroad with your kids. You're on the top floor. You've got the top two floors of an overtail. Yeah.

Right? Which is better than an ibis. Yeah. And he just watches his sport in his tracksuits and goes mosques and goes to the supermarket. Hangs out in the supermarket. Imagine just hanging out. Well, that's what in Saudi Arabia, I think that's what most people do, right? Well, that's the culture, isn't it?

Go to shopping malls. Try and cool down because there's refrigerators. Stand by the chest freezers. So he just watches rugby, he eats oranges, he faces no prosecution, there's no calls for, you know, he offers no remorse. I still don't really understand what the Saudis are getting out of this. Is he maybe teaching them how to choppy, choppy briefcase?

Is that where they get that idea from? Or is it just like having a kind of superhero in your country? Like he's just like a big icon. Is it like a kind of clouty to have it on me? Or is it like, you know how when people handcuff the wheelstone raider to themselves? Yeah, on stagdos. Maybe it's a bit like that.

They've got him for clout. Yeah, they got a clout chase. Big John said of his stagdo. Yeah, it's fucking idiot. Why are you bosh? But my point is, is that Ediamine has the final chapter that we all wish Hitler did.

He goes Brazil. He's on the. beach. All right. He's Muslim so he's not drinking but he's

doing as close as you can get to Ronnie Biggs in Brazil, Hitler and Brazil. Well what you know in the last Batman

when, in the Christian Ola ones when Christian Bail is does that nod to Michael Kane.

Yeah. That's what you want with Hitler. Everyone thinks you do that that, you know that scene? Christian Bail

nods Michael Kane. Yeah. Yeah. Your dream is that I'm in Brazil. Everyone thinks that he killed

everyone thinks that he died and this is just you yeah you're just in some random restaurant in Italy yeah and then you just see I'm just having a little shnaz you're in Brazil

you're in a random restaurant in Brazil and then you see through the crowd of people Hitler and I'm just raising a glass and I'm like oh you know what he got out I like that yeah

but that's what Eid Amin does is that he genuinely has the final chapter and he dies peacefully which I mean that just never happens with the detainers it never happens and I you know

assume it I think that's a happy ending yeah so Uganda Uganda does not have a happy ending Uganda has a bush war and the Lord's Distance Army Joseph Coimley child soldiers but it now has

as we started this series the funniest chance for Dix Checker in the world so cryptocurrency money in the air the economy or the economy doing very well

but Milton Abote comes back and what I heard this morning also how did Abote survive it's amazing how these figures are surviving normally you do these stories they get killed

and it gets refreshed these figures So what I listen to the podcast I listen to this morning said that Abote comes back and he then kills maybe even more

Ugandan than Edia mean ever did but because Abote wears a suit and is a Has less rich. He's got like PhD and is sort of, he's not the Western caricature of the loud, smiling, funny African dictator.

Edia mean has become the kind of archetype of an African dictator, even though people came after him were way more brutal. Which is why... So you're an idiot truther. I'm an idioticologist, all right? Yeah. I'm not going to apologize anymore for being an idioticologist. No, do you know what?

You can fuck off. I like the guy. I like the guy. Yeah. He's got something about him. And he has bestowed me the funniest reels I've ever seen. Yeah. Which is the present day Central African political culture.

Yeah. What have you done? Before you judge him, what the fuck have you done? What have you done? You know? That's a good point. Anyway. So Ediamine dies in.

in 2003 of kidney failure maybe was that the day that he dreamt of we don't know probably not dies in a hotel top floor of a novitel I mean it's pretty funny as dictators go when we get to the scores and the doors his eight year reign is said to have resulted

in the deaths between 300,000 to 500,000 people you know in the numbers game it's nowhere near pole pot it's nowhere near the big the big the big European guns, but I suppose the reason he's so remembered is because of the

fact, well, the fact he probably ate a lot of them. And that he killed them himself. He was at Alta Rapped, do you know what I mean? It was like, the streets will never forget. Yeah. There's a lot of skills, the highlight reel,

but like his goals and assists don't really stand up. Ultimately he played for QPR. And so he's never going to be remembered. Get Alta Rapped highlights up. Yeah. This is, can you have them playing? This is kind of idiomere.

Yeah, I guess it is. You know, when you, when you stick them together, it's unbelievable. But when you actually, when you break to the underlying numbers, yeah, he's not really. Yeah. Charlie, what are you doing? Did you find his name? You had it. It's really, this is a deceptively hard keyboard to use.

Right. Trust me. Horatio asked for Adler's Rappellate highlights. I then saw you trying to buy a QPR membership. Okay. So I don't know what goes through your brain when we ask you to do something. you go like four steps and also it's so hard

to the podcast when the maddest stuff is happening I'm like why is Charlie buying tickets for QPR next week it's like you're five steps ahead of us

in a conversation we're not having but yeah this is idiot I mean it looks great but ultimately QPR a lot of the stuff

he was in the championship yeah he didn't fulfill his potential in some ways so his family chooses to disconnect his life support while he's in a coma

he was assassinated he's killed by his family blood blood sucking leeches Uganda does not get much does not really improve child soldiers the bush war

more more misery on the Ugandans but as I say this has been the long road to Waya Yuki and you are transgender yep

which is a big part of this podcast which is a big part of my life my this podcast. And for that, I owe Edamina Great Day. He's a true friend of the pod.

He's a true friend of the pod. Were he alive today, I would shake his hand. And what a handshake it would be. What a big. Can I, can you imagine? There's no dictator I'd like to hug more than Eddie.

I mean. I will to just. He must give one of the best hugs. I want to smell his chest. Because I bet he, you know, he'll have a real must to him and he'll definitely work to like.

Oh God. He smelled amazing. Yeah. Him and Gaddafi walk into a room. Yeah. That room smells amazing. Yeah. Gaddafi smell good

I think Gaddafi wore expensive perfume I think Edie actually genuinely smelled good Edie smelled like home you know so yeah there's no dictator I'd rather have a big hug at the end of the day

than Ediamine I like this be my boyfriend and I'd like to wear his oversized shirts yeah I want to go to sleep with all his medals I want him to be the small spoon and he's the big spoon

oh he's the big spoon of all the dictators he's the biggest spoon anyway this has been our Ede Amin series series. Tomorrow on the Patreon, we'll be dealing with the history of cannibalism for ye of strong stomach. Yeah. Our researcher struggled. Our vegetarian researcher, I did not have a fun time researching that. Anyway, that's on the Patreon. But it's sort of implied that if you eat meat, it's like, that's just another bit. Just a meat I don't like. Might as well be another history of fucking goat, you know, for all I care. Anyway, that's on

the Patreon, along with instant access to next week's episodes. But if not, We'll see you next time for a new topic on Finn versus history. Goodbye. Goodbye.