Fin vs History - Please Don’t Cut Our Heads Off | The Iranian Revolution, 1979 (2/3)

Episode Date: April 17, 2025

The Ayatollah still hasn’t finished his book, and Mohammad Reza Shah spends the GDP of a small country on a primary school nativity play The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened.  For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/fintaylor?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome back to Finn versus History. I'm here, as ever, with Horatio Gould. And guns are going off. It's Iran in the mid-20th century. This is part two of our series on the Islamic Revolution. I see a lot of sense in it. I think I think the you're frequently being called out in the comments for showing too much shit and I think uh for Christ's sake's pull your socks up what is the issue with your socks

yeah well I've finally got some new socks uh I've got eight pairs of different colors because the I've listened to the comments there's been protests about uh that how uncolourful and short my socks are yeah but I have listened and in um I can still see shin on your other leg that's disgusting right in honor of the Ayatollah's Islamic revolution I am... Dr. Grumpikins. I am covering up my... Thank you.

Thank you. I think we actually need Finn v. History branded suspenders for you. Well, I've been wanting Finn v. History branded socks for a long time. So to get us back up to speed,

this is part two in our Islamic Revolution series. We left off last episode with CIA and MI6 backed coup in 1953. Mohammed Reza Shah, little twinky little boy. He's now in charge

of Iraq. Iran and the prime minister... He moisturises his hands. He moisturises his hands. What is disgusting... Lavender smelling, you know. He loves it. He wears women's perfume.

Yeah. He speaks three languages. Yeah. He's gay. He's a twink. He's in charge of Iran. The Prime Minister's all but a puppet. Yes.

And we are... Ironically, a puppet that was helped put in by Kermit Roosevelt. Yeah, it's very ironic, actually. The puppeteer... It was called Kermit, weirdly, rather than Jim Hansen. It's the other way around here. And so we're in 1950s, Iran. Where are we in the world?

What's happening in this time? All right. So this is after the invention of the cricket ball. Cricket is famously alive and well at this point. Yeah, yeah. But it's before the invention of swing ball. Is it? 50s.

When swing ball? invented. It was a bold one. Swingball is invented in 1967 in South Africa from this, fuck, hang on, so swing ball's apartheid.

It's an apartheid invention. Swingball whites only. It's born invented a no. From this day, family barbecues would never be the same again. Well, it depends what turns out of who's in your family.

So this is invented by white people enjoying apartheid. Well, no, hang on. It could be either. It could be like a sort of almost like a rebellion sport. This feels very white to be swing ball.

I put a ball on that string ball. ticket to the part of the rut it's got it feels very protestant uh colonialist i don't need anyone to play with me i don't need friends i'll keep myself into dined yeah it feels actually like south african anger management is what it feels like yeah fuck swingball is apartheid is it wow who would have thought who would have thought the things you learn on this podcast people commenting people saying they like nothing that's a load of bollocks what fuck you on about you've learned that we have to if we're the only podcast covering swing balls link to apartheist Africa.

No one else is saying it. Everyone's going around about the fruit or whatever. Queen are playing. Don't call the Shah a fruit. The Shara is a fruit and Ayatollah is a juicer. It's a blender. Well, he's just sort of steamed veg, isn't he? Oh yeah.

The Ayatollah is over-cooked steamed broccoli. And the shah's a big, juicy peach. Yeah. You've got to eat the Shara over the sink. Shah Mohammed Reza Pahlavi. Yeah, what is his he's got a mixed

career in power because it's not all bad, it's not all good. He loves going on holiday. He loves going on holiday. When the going gets tough, he fucks off. It's true.

He's very soft, but he also does bring around some actually quite good progressive policies. More controversially is his land reforms. He re-dributes land from basically trying to get out

of the feudal system. slow down with you're always going you're going straight to land reforms you're obsessed with land reforms I'm obsessed with land reforms I want to play swing ball on a new left fuck swing ball is white that's crazy look at that so

do not touch my land if you that is my swing ball territory it actually sounds like it almost sounds like some kind of punishment for black slaves like they'd have to get in rate they'd have to tie their hands by in their back

get on the other side of the swing ball and the white guy were trying to hit them. So we left off in the 50s and with all soft hands is now in power. And the first thing he does in this timeline, really we should talk about

is he establishes the secret police. You're right, yes. 1957, they're called Savac. There is actually a... Savac. There is actually a kebab shop on my road called Savac. Really?

Which is now it's tainted somewhat. My friend. Please, my friend. Secret, please. Please? In delegation. No, no. Not for you?

anybody next please anybody next anybody next no salad and sauce um sabak is a brutal they've got quite a nice logo though actually if we're looking at um we love graphic design of brutal regimes that's pretty good that's pretty good it's not you know it's not um it's a illusion to a persian heritage that's very nice now that's a now hang on what's going on there because there's a griffindore yeah it's a trans griffin with like an assyrian beard but then if you look at persopolis they've got those fuckers yeah i was going to talk about that it's very funny right so Savak is a state security police that now the Shah has a sort of puppet If you're running a state in the Middle East You got to have a secret police Get Savak

You got a first move You got to get a Gestapo You need it You need it You need it The people The suites need to be in the top cupboards Yeah

And if everyone anyone get If they get a step and they get to it You need to have come down hard Yeah yeah So this is in the 50s And as you were saying that the Shah does a lot of good things but at all point

I guess from a very Western perspective though there's all the things that we we like yeah we don't we don't like Dr. Grumpikins so I guess we've got to state art claim I guess we're somewhat biased in that we think Dr. Grumpikins is bad yes exactly I

I like seeing women's hair yeah exactly not as a weird thing I don't notice it yeah I'm neutral on women's hair so you don't have a hair fetish no you probably would if if I I was Iranian, I would crumble

at the sight of a woman's hair. So you probably would have a hair fetter. But I don't think you should have one. Yeah. But that's very Western Cetric, you know? Is that why people have a foot fetish because they're always... Covered up. Like if we were all in open toes, like sandals, then... Do you think it's seasonal?

So back in the Greek times, you know, the sandals era... Oh, they've got other stuff to do about then. But I'm just saying like that the sandal era, I think people were not as fast with feet, but because of the kind of an Ayatollah-esque regime we forced on our feet, which is the proliferation of shoes. You're saying the Ayatollahs behind the proliferation of shoes.

Well, I'm just saying that it's not far off. I wonder if foot fetishes are seasonal. Yeah. In the winter, because people are being denied feet, because of the weather, they get hornier for them. Right. Whereas in the summer, you walk outside, there's feet everywhere. There is nothing.

So I think maybe it's a season, foot fetishes kick off more in the winter. it's a winter sport yeah anyway basically in the late 50s this is all about growth

modernization oil powered by oil the Shah essentially becomes a benevolent dictator right and at all points he's like look at the economy

it's booming the women I mean there's footage of Iran before 79 the 60s yes women have got their cans out it looks fucking great but it's like

California. Yeah, it's like California in the 16th. Yeah. There's a song called like Iran, Republic of Iran. Everybody was surfing. Yeah.

Surfing. Yeah. Tehran in the 60s is fucking swinging because also it's on the hippie trail, right? And Kameney's just. He's Komeni. He's living. We haven't talked, we haven't introduced him,

but he is sort of on the sidelines, just sort of, just imagine for this whole period. He's just. He's in the city. called come which is quite funny oh com com which i think is a religious city my friend combe he's in a um we should introduce to the art i'll do that in the second but this is footage of tehran so tehran is basically like it's on the hippie trail which is this big route from

paris to india essentially so you know if you're in if you're a young adult in the 60s and 70s you're going through tehran that's one of your big stops on your like interrailing yeah you know you're going through afghanistan you're going to try to get to need to find yourself, but you're stopping off in Tehran. But I mean, Kabul was going through a similar period. Baghdad, our current view of the Middle East, it wasn't across the board. This wasn't. But I think if you're a young person listening to this, right, I don't think, like, your

idea of Iran, this should blow your mind. Yeah. In the 60s, Charlie, this footage doesn't have any women with cans. You've got to get cans out. Women in Iran in the 60s. It's like California. It's the swinging 60s. They've got like London Red Double Decker Bucats.

But it's also just all based on like Britain. I mean, it is so Western. Yeah. And I guess you can see why. You can see why people are getting a bit livid. Yeah, you can see why Grumpy kids has a point. Yeah. Coming over here, getting our women to get their cans out.

Yeah, look at this. You've got the mini skirts in. Yeah. You know, the fucking makeup. They're lined down. They're doing science. That's obviously terrible now. Women shouldn't be anywhere loud anywhere near science.

I mean, they've got some things right. Yeah. No, I mean, a stop clock is right. Twice a day. so um but the shah is basically like we're gonna we're gonna fully westernized we've got all this oil revenue coming in i'm being propped up by the americans they're paying me money and he does that yeah it's brutal suppression uh which leads to discontent but they don't know that it's gonna it will get worse after him yeah yeah but the shah's sort of great

undoing is the fact that he's concentrating on the economy the westernization and he's giving people economic freedom and education without any political freedom right there's a tension that can't hold. Right. If I'm, if I'm, if I'm telling you, like, I'm going to give you 20 quid.

Yeah. But you, you have to vote for who I say. Yeah. You'd be like, I don't. Depend to. Yeah.

I'm like, no, you have to vote. You have to vote reform. Yeah. 20 quid. 20 quid, though. It's 20 quid. That's my point.

20 quid. 20 quid. 20 quid, you vote reform. 25 and that's a deal. Yeah, exactly. That's kind of Iran. Right.

So, but there's always grumblings of discontent because it's 20 quid or vote reform but if you choose to take if you don't take the 20 quid or if you go, I'm not doing it then I'm putting you in jail. And fundamentally the pace of modernisation

there's always going to be tensions. Like this always happens. If you modernise too quickly, huge swathes of people get left behind they get discontented. Yes. Brexit. It's Brexit.

It's Iranian Brexit. Yeah. The Shah is like, I'm going to, I'm going to start something called the White Revolution. Right. It's already sounding more and more Western every time. I love this. Are you thinking, oh, is that swing ball? No, it's not.

Swingball's not white revolution. The White Revolution, South Africa, very different. He calls it the White Revolution because red means communist. Yes. And something we didn't say last time, actually, is that a large part of the coup to get rid of Mossadegh is the British, use the threat of communism from the Russians which has a northern border with Iran as a way of getting their money in.

So the American... And there's a lot of communist factions in the intellectuals in... Well, if you're a young intellectual in the 60s, you are... You know, along with your long hair and your dirty bottom, you're reading and writing about communism.

Yes, yeah, of course. Part of the reason their bottom is dirty is because they want to share bathrooms. Yes. They don't believe in individual toilet paper or whatever. use recycle toilet paper it's all it's all grim stuff yes gretta communal she's got dirty bottom yeah um anyway so there's a there's a communist

party called the two-day party right basically they're all trying to they're trying to keep them down but what the shah does in 1963 is he he calls it the white revolution because the red implies communism black implies uh like islamic yeah so he goes well i'm going to call it white to be like modernity right right this is also when Howard Wilson is talking about the white heat technology. White is a very modern color in this time. Exactly. 60s.

It's the 60s. But this is what's so weird is that if you call it a revolution, but you're the king, it's not really a revolution, is it? It's like you can't just, you're the one that's meant to be. It's like Justin Trudeau at the front of his climate change rallies. He's exactly that. You're in charge, lad. Yeah, what the fuck are you on about?

I'm going to start a revolution. What are you leaving then? No. I'm going to lead it. You go, well, that's not revolution. That's just policy. So the things that he does, the things that he does

and his white revolution... But if I was in charge, every policy, I'd... This is a revolution. Yeah, yeah. I'd be like Che Guevara, just doing my... Yeah, if I'll do my spring...

My autumn statement... Yeah, I mean, it's a budget, is what it is. It's not revolution. But, I mean, to be fair, if Rachel Reeves called cutting disabled people's benefits, revolution... Exactly.

But she's dressed as Shegavara. Yeah, she's like, revolution, we're going to cut to... But then that's a very weird revolution, isn't it these disabled people are having it too good for too long

Glenn Hoddles like I've been saying this for you Glenn Hoddle's like what I'll be there they've been punished for since

this is a fucking revolution people are just chucking wheelchairs down the stairs they're building more stairs they're getting rid of ramps rid of ramps more steps

more steps but you know all legs matter I guess there would be like a literal tiered class system upstairs down There would literally be an upstairs downstairs if Rachel Reeves decides to leave a revolution against disabled people's benefits.

All able-bodied people right at the top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've been down with these wheelies for too long. Get us up there. Anyway, so the White Revolution, which the Shah is aimed at. Basically, he wants to, he wants to say that by the 80s, we will be more modern than America and the UK. He's able to do this because they're bringing in insane

oil revenue from BP which women are granted the right to vote and basically So you bear in mind So I guess we should bring in Kameni and who this guy is But while all this is happening Kameni is watching

There's something bubbling There's a there's a guy Always watching There's a guy who's always watching Never saying much He's just frowning Yeah Old Dr frown himself

So he came from a rural It could be more different to the upbringing of the Shah. It's Ying and Yang, right? Yeah. So the Shah's in Switzerland. He's notching off waiters. He's notherning has cooking cuisine. And he grew up in a rural kind of...

Hom. Yeah. A small town, central Iran. And he's from a religious family. All his dad, his granddad, they're all like, they're book botherers. Yes. Yeah. What's the equivalent of God bothering, but as Muslim...

Allah bothering. Allah. They're bothering Allah. Aller annoyers. Aller annoys. They're Aller agitators. What's he doing up there? That's what they're saying.

They're knocking on doors. They're saying, can I talk to you about Allah? You're like, no. Go away. So he's just studying. He's in his bedroom. He's reading. He's working his way up.

The clergy. And maybe he's touching a bead every now and then, but he's reading. To be honest, there's not. He's reading the same book. Yeah. For his 20 years. He's like me. when I'm reading any book

when I'm like, fuck and I'm like, I'm like, yeah, he's reading it because he has to go back. I completely forgot what that last three pages was.

He reads two senses and goes, oh, fucking or I don't know. And then he goes, oh, fuck I've read, I've read,

I've read, I've read two pages and then I fall asleep and then I go back and I'm like, I forgot the last two pages. So I just, I'm stuck on it for years.

He's stuck in like an infinite loop. So he's not actually finish the Quran. He's reading it for 20 years, but he's not finished it yet. Wait, so that must be, What happened there? What?

What? Cover up women? Where did that go? One of the slowest readers of all time. Cermania, that's why he's frowning because he's trying to understand what the book says.

What? Huh? Yeah. Yeah. And he's one of the first kind of outspoken critics of the monarchy in West Impsons. Yeah, in the 40s, he's starting to get slightly more politically involved.

But it's the white revolution where grumpykins really, really... He's had enough. He's had enough. Right. He's finally put his book down. I'm putting my book down because I can't

finish it. I don't know how this ends, but I bet it doesn't end with you being able to vote. Yeah. Yeah. It's Rona Week. Now until Wednesday. And the best part, we're ready to help you extend your summer. You know the saying the grass is always greener on the other side? Well, this summer, make sure it's your side of the lawn. Head to Rona today for 5.2 kilograms of Scott's turf builder fall lawn fertilizer at only 1499. Build it right. Build it right. Build it Rona. Conditions apply. Details in store and more offers at rona.ca. So the shah's given, let's talk about what the shah is introduced. He's given women the right to vote and they're included in politics. He's in dust, he's given five-year plans, he's building infrastructure

and then now you want to talk about land reforms because that's, you know, that's what you like talking about, isn't it? Well, this was a big thing, yeah. So quite a progressive thing And he's kind of, I guess, breaking down some more of the more feudal elements of Iranian culture by redistributing land from these large landowners to peasants, basically, which happens all over the place, right, trying to create kind of more western little. Just like short cut middle class. But that also creates a lot of... Do you remember when you're playing the Sims?

Yeah. You're like, I want a bigger house. I'm just going to do whatever the she is and just like that. Rosebud or... Rosebud and just that, motherloid and sims too. that's what he's doing he's like middle class on board on board of these peasants they're too ugly and thick but then you are pissing off powerful landowners

which will come back to boat you in the ass footage of him just handing out money to peasants but the shahra's doing it himself and it's like when you see you know Liz Truss or whoever in a hard hat looking at a infrastructure project that's he's basically in a tent in like a food stall just handing out money

to a pure peasants like big wedges of cash going you own your land now the state's paying for it but this despite the women stuff this is what grumpykins hates the most the land reform right he's like hates it I want that's the church's land or I think maybe he thinks the

the church is I don't really know what his problem is by reform I'll be honest land reform is too boring for me to ever really understand what's going on but so the shah also he's progressing in a lot of places but he's also doing some just kind of like quite childish moves like he gets the West Germans to build I think

a nuclear power plant at high expense the West Germans is like brilliant we're gonna make loads of money at this but I was watching documentary an interview with one of them and it's just like it's crazy there's no country that needs

a nuclear power plant less than Iran because they sit on an ocean of oil yeah and they also have no infrastructure at all to power so it's like yeah he's doing that as a symbol of that we're just like the West but it's like you don't even need this shit and now they've got a nuclear power station

and we're fucked I guess so I never put two or two together so it's the Germans again is it the Germans have fucked us and more those than one. Because now Grumpikins has got a nuclear power plant. It was really, in this documentary I was watching, it's just a very funny West Germany.

It was like, you're very happy for this work. But quietly, I was thinking, you God don't need this. This is very... Because also what the Shah does is he's like with the oil and all this nuclear stuff. He's basically bringing foreign laborers in, Americans to run it all,

who are high skilled. And then at the same time, he's educating all these Iranians. but when they come back, they still don't know how to work it and there's no jobs for them because there's Iranians. Yes. So a lot of, they've taken our jobs

anti-immigration center, was from the middle class. Yeah, and the Americans have more rights, foreigners have more rights in Iran than Iranians do. Because you can't get Americans to come to your country if you can't, you know, I don't know, fucking booze or whatever, I don't know what rights they are.

But Iranians are like, well, hang on, I'm educated, which weirdly me. I'm into communism in the 60s. And I'm coming back, and there's no jobs for me, but I'm clever, and there's Americans here, it's a tension. Yeah. So, Khomeini is, this is where he kicks off.

Yeah. This is stage left, enter grumpikins. Right. And he's just, I don't think he actually says anything, and everyone's life. He just growls. Yeah. And he does, oh, he does do a famous speech.

Right, fair enough. But in the speech, the famous speech is, this amazing articulate speech, for something. Aww, that's that. There's just, I always find it funny. Just complaining about women having the vote is just a funny platform.

It's just there's something really funny about being like a revolutionary, but the revolution is that women don't. It's taking rights away. It's just something so funny about that. It's like an attitude. No. We were. It's like, how do you get people to cheer?

How do you get men and women to cheer? Take away your vote. Yeah. But that's what, so it's like it's Rachel Reeves taking away disabled people's benefits. Yeah. It's able-bodied people and disabled people cheering. Yeah. They're lifting them up, lifting the chairs up like a Jewish wedding.

Yeah. Yeah. He denounced Khomeini's sermon in 63, denouncing the shard as a wretched, miserable man. And warned him. He's basically like a dog. He's a grumpy dog. he's um what's the grumpy dog called the hang you know is it um not pluto clifford not clifth he's what grumpy he's fucking clifford the big red dog no that's the that's the

communist party yeah two-day party of cliford the big red dog yeah the red scare you know the droopy that's who i mean oh right yeah canadian's droopy yeah grumpy kins something i have a lot respect for with islamic fundamentalists i mentioned this on to you before i think but throughout human history men have always tried to oppress women yes it's quite a natural urge in society men are physically stronger they will find systems of governance women are annoying

that will and that's happened in every single but nowhere has done it so thoroughly than Islamic fundamentalists you have to give it to them like how have you managed to get away with that I think a lot of

men across the world it's like how have you done that we've all been trying to do this yeah and you've just done it how have you managed to do that you just thrown a towel over them You just gone, right, no, shut up. Shut the fuck up.

It is amazing. It's the most comprehensive dismissal of women. And they love it as well. Some of them love it. Some of them fucking love it. They're like, don't take my burqa away. You know, don't take my... And this is from a very west of the century.

And I think partly the... Because I find a lot of this type of really fervent Islamic fundamentalism is really scary in quite like an interesting way. That's why I'm really more about it almost like a horror story. But it's just, it is, we're coming up from a very Western centric position. Yeah, yeah. But it's the position I find it so hard to understand. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. The cultural relativism of it. Obviously, it matters a lot to a lot of people, but I just cannot, in my Western brain, I really struggle to get my head around a lot of this stuff. No, same. But it seems the furthest from our worldview. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Women should get their tits out. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. We're like, we're like, put, put a girl, Porter on Big Ben, she's nude. You're not doing this in Iran. Yeah.

Gail Porter on the Iranian parliament, everyone's dying. And a lot of people say, why don't you do jokes about Islam? That's like a lot of the comments we're getting. Oh, yeah, yeah. Do an episode of Mohammed. Yeah. Because we're scared they'll kill us. Yeah.

There is a, it's funny that you go, oh, you won't cross that line. Yeah. You mean the line attached to my neck to my head? Yeah. I'd quite like to not cross that line. Yeah, it's funny. Everyone's like, oh, yeah, why won't you do about Islam? Because they will kill you.

They follow through. Yeah. They are, they really do follow through. They follow through in their threats. I mean, and Christians just don't. They just don't. Christians go, well, no biscuits for you. I can live with that.

I can go around the corner and buy a packet biscuits. I can't get another head on my neck. I've got one head famously. We all got one head. And they will chop it off. Look at Charlie Hebdo. It was fucking, it was nasty little comedy writers like us. Yeah, yeah.

And they got carried away when they won't do anything about it. They fucking did. He shot up a fucking cartoon studio. Of course they'll shoot up a podcast. One thing I definitely will say for a fundamentalist Islam is maybe maybe the worst

sense of humor in the world. They might have They might have the least sense of humor of anyone in the world. They might be the shittest crack. Kermaini is watching Mr. Bean like this.

Maybe the worst banter in the world. like yeah christmas dinner i mean whatever dinner it is i don't know what dinner is just have a laugh yeah they're not they're not yeah i mean you get fundamentalists is like they're not they're i mean what are they laughing at they're laughing at people's heads being chopped off maybe anyway uh blah blah blah blah the white revolution angers many particularly the clergy who saw it as an attack on traditional Islamic values landowners and intellectuals yeah basically tehran in particular i mean there's a big disparities in the cities in the country yeah Tehran is like, you know, when

you know you've arrived, there's a clock on the wall on the bank. Right. As a city. Tehran's like Tokyo, London, New York, Tehran.

Right, fine. Now, no one fucking cares what time it is in Tehran. There's still, there's no tits out, I can't have a drink, who fucking cares? If you're a woman,

it's just time to get back to the kitchen. It's not in Tehran. It's never five o'clock in Tehran. That's what that says is. Yeah, it's never a, yeah, it's never a glass. last a white wine with the girls. It's cocktail hour. Not in Tehran. It's not.

It's fucking cover up. Stop gobbling cocks. Go home. But doesn't, when does You know, you know the fucking COVID slogans. Stay, stay indoors. Protect the NHS, save lives. Put that drink down. Stop golling cocks. Go home.

That's Iran. When does Kameni get exiled to the northern Iran? It's in the 60s, I think. at 64. Kameen, so just after he starts grumphing off about the Shah's reforms, he's exiled to... He either goes into hiding or gets exiled. Well, he goes to Turkey, and then he goes to Iraq, and he goes to Najaf, which is one of the biggest cities in Shia.

He's Shia, by the way. We'll come to that in a second. I don't really understand. I'll explain it, because I've got a little bit on it. Basically, he goes into exile for, I think, 12 years, 14 years in like the north of... Iran or Iraq somewhere just biding his time He's with just a couple

of very close family members and occasionally has some followers telling him keeping him abreast what's going on but apparently apart from that people who saw him on his day to day basis

all he would do is just go to the mosque and home for 14 years he's trying to finish his book he's trying to finish this book but go to the mosque that's it

so he's literally there's nothing to say that's it. He goes to Turkey initially but then he's extremely angry at the secular dress of Turkish women. So he goes to Turkey he goes brilliant Islamic country he sees everyone with the fucking turketees in the hair and he goes

that's not right so he goes... I mean he's bald as well isn't he so I don't know he's always in whatever that is hiding a hairline isn't it? Is it turban? Anyway so the Ayatollah is Shiite and there's the two major schools of his life.

What? I think he's all right. That's good stuff, isn't it? It's a quick single. Just take a quick single into the leg side. Just change the strike. Just change the strike. Yeah, let's get Leach off strike.

Get him off strike. Get Stokes him to win it with a shot. The most famous single in the world. Leach is doing like pun singles to make sure that he's never on strike. He's just just flushing his glasses. Just slow him down. Slow the play down. Quick single into the leg.

Sorry, he's Shiite. Yeah, so Shiite and Sunni, it is very hard to understand, but these are the two major schools of Islam. Shiite fundamentally believes that there's, like, a lineage from Mohammed, the key one being his, like, nephew Ali. I don't want to get this wrong, because I know people care about this a lot.

You really don't want to get this wrong. Sunnis believe in election through a council, and Shia believe in a divine lineage through Ali, Mohammed's cousin and son-in-law, and they also believe in this sort of, divine authority of the imans who are meant to be descendants of ali as spiritual and religious leaders because they're divinely guided in the way that catholics believe in the pope yeah so there's like a divinely guided individuals on earth yeah whereas the uh sunni it's a bit more

uh about just following the example of the prophet mohammed and recognizing the authority of elected caliphs so there and there is also a mysticism to is it shia Because there's a whole separate branch of some, oh, I can't know what it's called. But there's the only majority, go majority Shiite countries. The only majority Shiite country, I think, is Iran. And because Iran has such a strong, rich cultural heritage of its own. Yeah, because it's Persia. Because of Persia, countries where...

Iraq's a bit of... Oh, Iraq? No, Iraq's a bit of a hodgepodge. Yeah. There's a slight majority, famously. So there's a couple of them, but Sunni is 80% of all Muslims of Sunni. Yeah. uh that Saudi Arabia is kind of that you know

pyjamas pajamas they're wearing pajamas oh right there's a lot of pajamas in this region I don't think that's I think I think Sunni is pajama Muslims right and Shia are

so what's what's the Ayatollah wearing he's just wearing he's dressed like Darfur he's dressed like a villa he's Darth Vader isn't he I mean it's kind of mad it's like it's that are we the bad guys you know that mention of web sketch like why moreing a dark

cloak anyway but the Shia side of Islam infuses with the Persian history

has its own thing and that's why Sunnis they often as a way of slagan off Shia to call them Zoroathustrian

kind of weirdos basically which is an ancient Persian there's a mysticism to Shia I just love as you're explaining

that I could see almost subtitles please don't cut my head off please don't come my head off please don't get my head off please don't get my head off right so you've got

the Sunni obviously please don't my head off. I'm trying. I'm really trying. What I'd like is can I have a chance to apologize before you cut my head off? That's what I want. I just said. Well, no, I just don't, I just don't want. Do they take apologies? Yeah, that's what I mean. Can I can we, can you give me a chance? I don't think they take apologies? Because they just go straight in with the Hebdo, they went straight in, didn't they? They go, say, it's not say sorry or cut my head off. It's cut my head off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like, also, I feel you can get out of a lot of

situations with comedy and charm. Do you know what I mean? And I feel it's very hard to charm these guys. These guys are an absolute, uh, it's checkmate. It's straight jacket. You're not getting out. So Khomeini is, is sent to Najaf. Yeah, but sheite. Yeah. Um, I think that's a bit strong. But anyway, um, quick single, quick single, get off strike. Now, he goes, he goes, he's not, he's never had a good time once. Uh, he's, uh, he finished a chapter once. He liked that. Brilliant. But he's still

struggling to finish this book in Najaf in Iraq which is a big Shiite city. Again, I've heard it's all right.

But, um, it's gone for another one. The thing is, if you change a strike a lot, the bowl doesn't know what to do. If there's a left hand

and a right hand, I don't know what I mean? Because you keep in singles in the same place. They're going to... Well, then it change the field. Yeah.

Anyway, um, what the fuck are we talking? Oh, yeah. So he starts, he does sermons in Najaf, and then a lot of this stuff gets smuggled in

by a cassette. So he's like bootlegging. Right. He's bootlegging sermon, some of the driest bootlegging you've ever heard. You know those people that stop you in Leicester Square or whatever with them? You got him in my mixtape. Das Kameney.

Once, when I was in New York, we got stopped in Times Square by going, going, hey, you got to hear my mixtape. Poetry is my passion. I was like, that's not what PIMP. That's Pimp. You're saying you've got a mistake called Pimp, Pimp, Pimp, Poetry. The Pimp Poetriotry.

So Kamey's bootlegging. And this stuff is kind of like through some, cassettes that's getting into the rural Iran, the more conservative Iran, they're picking up, they're like, this guy's, this guy slaps, man. But is this kind of, is there anyone doing this intensity of Islam in the region before him? This is pretty still quite new. Again, we're talking the 60s and you've got Turkey, which is secular, Iran, secular. Saudi, there's some shit going on, but it's still, it hasn't, it's only just found oil, I don't know. No, because I think at this point, oh no, maybe Iran is still the more,

the biggest oil producer in the world. Anyway, so Khomeini's bootlegging, right? And he's just constantly hating on the Shah. Now, we need to get to one of the great, I mean, just the great moments of this story, which is, so the Shah has been modernised in the country a lot. And in 1971, the Shah decides that for the 2,500th anniversary

of the founding of the Persian Empire, he is going to put Iran on the map by hosting the sickest fucking party there's ever been in Persepolis in the desert Persepolis which is basically Acropolis but of the Persian Empire Yeah so Persepolis is the Great Ruin the Persian Empire and it's in the middle of fucking nowhere

And it's hot as shit right I mean that in both senses It's temporally, it's very hot And it's also fucking sick Because this guy right I don't love to go into this This I mean so there's a documentary Narrated by Awesome Wells

Yes And what he does is... They paid to narrate as a use... Because they're getting all the stars. So it's estimated that this costs in today's money around $700 million. Right. Right. And bear in mind that the economy is booming,

but people don't have... It's only really in the cities where people are having a nice time. There's a lot of people having a very pooy time in a round. Rachel Reeves would not be hosting one of these. No, Rachel Reeves isn't hosting the biggest party in the way. But it's like King Charles doing it. It's like Rachel Reeves, like, I'm trying to cut to say people's benefits. I'm hosting the sickest party.

Yeah. We're going to have like, we're going to have a fucking Glastonbury. Get some images of the party or stuff, but, right? So what he does, now obviously Persepolis is basically inhospitable, right? Because in the desert. So he builds, uh, tents, like marquise, like a big wedding. And he, uh, the marquies are filled with like chandeliers. Yeah.

He flies over, uh, the, the, like, hottest French Michelin star. chefs and there's this huge table that snakes along and he invites basically every major king and world leader and there are I think it's 75 emperors kings queens and so he's announced himself the shahs oh yeah this by this point he's crowned himself king of kings king of kings he's an emperor but he because he views emperors in the rankings yeah as the highest of all yeah that means that at the top table is him and Japanese and highly salasi who's technically emperor who are above

would be above the queen of England because she's just a queen So the queen doesn't actually take this invitation Because she knows she's not going to get cucked here Yeah So he's going to make the queen sit on a little stool Yeah Which I guess is that do you find out before you go in where you're sitting I guess I guess there's a seating plan

You don't want to get there and they'd be like Hang on I'm on the cuck table But then they sent they sent Duke of Edinburgh goes He just wants to drink He has a great time I don't love to be Fucking the jokes he made in here

Can you imagine What do they got They got fucking teetals in the head You know He saves a wild shit I mean Are those Newcastle fans What are they doing here

No my friend That's the Saudi elite That's the Saudi king What is he in the Newcastle ticket Is he a season ticket old Is he a Newcastle What's he doing We all

We're all dressed up They're wearing a pyjamas Played up So the Duke of Edem is making some Very off kind of jokes Also this huge party still a lot of it, even though it's celebrating

the Persian Empire 2,500 years, it's still very much based on a British constitutional night, or like a royal Yeah, it's a royal banquet. But it's styled off a lot of British stuff, which is strange. Well, yeah, because he is so Western.

I mean, even if you look at footage, which will get up of the coronation, I remember watching it thinking, this is like the Queen being coronated. It looks, everyone is in, it's exactly British 50s dress. It's mad. He's got like a sash and shit. So first of all, he welcomes everyone and he ranks them.

But there's no thought of what they do once they've met. So it's like autistic dads at barbecue. They meet the Shah, all these kings and queens. And then they just, no one's there to be like, oh, your Royal Highness, this is the king of Belgium. They're just milling about. Right. So they've spent 700 million pounds on a party, but they haven't got that like...

They haven't got like a party planner. Right. Like a host. Yeah. So they're just milling about in the fucking... in massive tent. Which they're not used to it's something like this.

You know, to bear this in mind, this is an in-hills desert. Like a school disco. Yeah. This genuinely. There's like the blokes

are over there and all the queens are over there. But they've also, they've built like sewage system. They've built kitchens. They've completely built a city in a desert purely for like one or two days of a sick party.

The menu is they've got like a rack of lamb. Oh, this is the actual menu. Because at one point they have stuffed quails with like truffles and foie gras and they serve it on a tray with a massive fucking peacock and everyone's like you don't eat peacock

and he's like fuck it I'm gonna get a kill a peacock and that's just decorative they've killed a peacock put it in the middle and then put quails they're stuffing everything with truffles and foie gras

I mean it's the French have been given free reign to be as depraged as possible which does make me think what on earth are their toilets yeah are they squatting toilets in the desert

kebab kebab there's a kebab in there the greatest party 700 million if you're going to a wedding anyone in next please talent sauce anyone in next everyone's in there sashes

yes sir yes please yes sir yes sir yes sir no no sheish just on her no she's just done it um yeah if you if you went to a wedding where you knew they spent 700 million pounds and you were served a cab you'd be like guys

this is every weekend for me are the hookers like where's the money gone where's it gone two and a half thousand bottles of Don Perignon 2,000 bottles of Bordeaux like shadow chateau brian steak shout enough to pap

it's like the best the best the best it's full on like it's the best party ever yeah it fucking it slaps then they get all of them out to do like a light show a light and sound show

at Persepolis right with fireworks there's a three minute pause after the light the sound show where it's pitch black because they're in the desert and everyone's like

what's going on and they're quite cold they're quite chilly and then the fireworks start everyone thinks it's a terrorist attack because it's been a three minute pause and then they just this massive explosion

but the light show is like do you know I think what film is it is it view to a kill there's a sequence in Egypt with a light show that's what I think of right right

anyway yeah of course this is James Bond reference yeah I mean listen we're in Bond Bond's on the screen to place this in

we're in 70 we're in 71 right so this is Connery's just left yeah Moore's in this is live and let die right so 71 to 79

is a very critical era during the Bond franchise right because it really becomes quite gay. Right. So actually, do you know what?

Fuck. So Diamond's Off Forever's 71. Oh, is it? Oh, is it? Living Let Die is hot on its heels. Diamond Forever's Connery's last one.

So actually, what you could say is that the Iranian Revolution maps the James Bond films in that it's all getting too gay, Roger Moore, and then the Ayatollah is Timothy Dalton.

Right. Right. He comes through. It's Living Let Die 77. Fair enough. Right, right, right. So Living Let Let Let Die. got a bit gay.

It's all a bit like, hmm, and then it's, you know, it's just getting ridiculous. Roger Moore, some of the shit he's saying, his eyebrows twitching. And Bond fans are like,

come on, man, he's not meant to be, he's making sort of Tim Vine jokes after his chill and 15 people. He's doing pen behind the ear after killing something. He's not meant to be gay. Enter Dalton,

Ayatollah, the grumpykins of Bond. The great thing like James Bond as well as just like the fan pace. And I do feel it should be protected because it's so important to British dads where it's like for a lot of,

this is why I find the debate about the next bond it's like it should be white and British because for white British dad it's all we've got they have it's all we and it's all these dads it's like this is the one happy time I have just don't take it from it this is all I've got genuinely if my wife goes to bed and the kids are asleep I'm going to watch a James Bond film just fundamentally let them have it just let it's all they have it can never mean as much to you as it does to British dads it just can't My favourite film. It's all that they have.

Don't leave it alone. Don't ruin it. Don't ruin it. Imagine the going... It must be so stressful running a film franchise where you know that's the first thing

in people's heads in the cinema. Don't ruin it. Please don't fuck it up. Oh, I wonder if all this will be like, don't ruin it. Don't fucking is all I've got. All I've got is this film. Yeah, you're going to wait

if the new bond's any good before you kill yourself. That's like you're waiting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If there's a bond film coming out, I won't kill myself to after it. Anyway So the part of the party is sick

But it's an absolute It's one of his biggest fuck-ups If not his biggest fuck-up The optics have never been worse Terrible Because the country at this point Is that you know People have no political freedom

And there's a lot of money coming in But it's only being enjoyed By very few of them And a lot of money is Also this celebration People can't It's not like a public thing No

Not even like coronation Which is a televised It's a public thing So what he said So they go and take the film, a documentary they've made of it, with Austin Wells. They show it. Now, they're meant to show it to the Iranian cultural minister, but the Shah actually watches it. And his reaction is, where are all the Iranians?

And it's like, well, mate, you held a party away from all of them. Right. But we should talk about the procession because it is fucking funny. They do this procession through the desert of like old Persian history. Yeah. And it looks like a school play. Because they're wearing big, like, obsidian beards. And like fake mustache.

the kind of dream code. It's like a nativity play but it's all the world leaders lined up and it's just them just walking with like a fucking cardboard wheel. Is that the shittest? Yeah.

I mean it's awful. Anyway, so that's that's 1971 and a lot of people you know say this is his great moment of like hubris. Yes. This is his kind of his mad arrogance, a sense of

complete disconnect with reality. Disconnect with reality. Yeah. And all the time he's got a secret police who run a kebab shop who are putting people on spikes and twisting them round he's making Donomi out of distance

lamb dissonance yeah there's just there's dissidents on spikes just turning like that and there's like yes please my friend yes please yes please wait so the kebab shop near your house called Savak is that named after the secret police

or is that a secret police named after something historically Persian I've got no idea I've got no idea I don't know why I asked But there's two kebab shops Near me There's Savak and then there's

Kababish And Kababish is called Kababish Because it's actually an Indian restaurant Right But they do the best kabbas over have Right okay But Savak is more traditional Right

Just just A bit like Sonny and Shia Like Southeast London's Kabab fans are divided Right Right You got the more traditional

And you got the one That maybe has a Persian influence Kabbish is fucking wacky as shit man Cababish is mystical but that's where I am. I'm a Shia, I guess. So, the Shah, the 70s in Iran, it's starting to get a bit neggy. At one point the Shah goes on a tour of China to see what our old friend...

He loves a holiday as well. He loves a holiday, he's always going on a holiday. He's traveling. He goes to see what Mao's up to. And he comes back and he goes, this guy, I don't like that to do with this guy. I reckon we could have a one party state. Oh, yeah. He constantly goes to other people's countries and he learns the wrong lesson.

that's like what's going on in there what's the worst thing that you guys are doing he goes to Germany he's like oh what's that concentration all right no we'll do that all right yeah the Shah's on holiday a lot he's um he's he's got air miles put it that way right right right right but he goes to China and he comes back and rather than think

I probably wouldn't do that kind of land reform he goes I fucking I reckon one party he's the way to go so he comes back and he goes do you know what all political parties are banned and you have to be a member of my party right this is I think in 75 right So this basically starts meaning that all the while, it should be stressed that Iranians,

they're being funded to go to elite universities in Europe and America. They're becoming very clever. And they come back and there's no jobs for the lot. So the middle class is being kind of gutted. And so you have these intellectual Iranians who are always talking about. That's the hotbed for communism. Hotbed for communism. They're middle class, but they haven't got jobs.

They're commies. They're smelly commies. They're in flat shares. They're watching Navarra media Yeah, they're smart homeless people They're smart homeless people When the capitalism fails smart people

They have a big beer They don't wash their bumps They become communists They start watching Navarra media Aaron Bastani Is he Iranian? Probably is He is. Is he? Is he? There you go

You should get him on I'd love to get Bastani on Nah, I don't want to talk to him The smell of his bottom And Navarra got the stinkiest bums in UK media, I reckon. In UK media, yeah, probably, probably. Telegraph, clean as ourselves. All right, yeah.

Yeah. If we're tracking, bum washing to, if we're mapping that on to left and right. Well, I think, yeah, the telegraph probably gets through a whole toilet roll. Every session. Yeah, because they're not cared about the environment at all. No, exactly, exactly, yeah. And they're bidetting as well. These guys just do a shit

They pull up their trousers And go and fucking do a podcast Oh fucking hell What are we doing what we're on about You're talking about Navarra media Yeah I don't know The Iranian Revolution Basically

There's more and more political prisoners Samaka Samaka making Donomi out of dissidents Yeah The middle class I've got dirty bums And it gets to a crunch point right in uh now i'll enter enter saddam right yes saddam comes into power in iraq in i think the sort of mid-late 70s and what he does is uh he hears some of um kamani's awful bootlegging and he's

like get this fucking this open mic around my fucking country yeah because you might think they're all the same but saman's actually kind of the opposite of commene in the kind of evil middle east i fucking love saddam so he's a secularist right yeah yeah yeah uh and he believes that he believes that all she i are like mystical fucking weirdos yeah yeah right and he is trying to run like uh he's just trying to run like a kind of a classic european dictatorship right he's got saddam's fashion is one of the best dress dictatorships yeah other's ever been yeah the whole desert camo the high belt the beret the tash if if my wife let me i would look like saddam hussein because i've got a weak chin i can't

pull it off but I can go such a strong tash and I would ideally just be I mean I'd love to do an episode when we do Saddam we will do a great episode of Saddam when we do Saddam I'm wearing the I'm doing that I'm doing the fatig

the belt the beret the tat I'm going for it and my wife can just fucking she can just deal with it you can just deal with it Saddam kicks bootlegging Khomeini out of his country and bear in mind he still hasn't finished this book and Saddam's like you've had 20 years you still not got to the end

get out Kermaini weirdly goes to France Yes well it actually turns out to be a great move Because at the time with the controversies that's surrounding the Shah Khomeini who is keeping schum about a lot of his maddest beliefs Yeah I remember just because there's his his bootlegs have not been widely distributed he did the the key play that Khomeini does for this whole revolution Yeah, he keeps his fucking mouth shut yeah

He just looks badass yeah and keeps it stum so in this suburb of parish there's a lot of communists coming to meet him he's starting to be seen as this kind of this hope and all these people who don't like the shah the communists uh the kind of more liberal middle class the moderate clergy yeah they all start putting a lot onto him and he's just keeping he's a blank canvas he's just letting people project he's that's why he's wearing black yeah because you can be yeah the western media basically paint him out to be gandy because they're like oh a bald guy in pajamas Yeah, I don't know who that is. He's a little, he's a freedom fighter. Gandy Alf. He's Gandy Alf. Yeah, exactly. I got it.

I get him. That's genuinely what the New York Times, they like, they make him out to be this kind of virtuous, ascetic kind of holy man who just wants justice. Yes. And they don't realize underneath all that, Grumpy Kens is like, I'm going to fucking,

when I get in, I'm going to be the grumpiest kind of all time. Yeah. So he goes to Paris and the Western media kind of block and because in towards the late 70s you know you've got to put it into context Vietnam Watergate

people are getting quite like Aggie against America colonialism, neo-colonism all that stuff American foreign policy and so you know guys with long hair and flares

and dirty bums are writing op-heads about how great about the pyre pyre pyjamas art and shit Gandhi Gandhi's about you know all this stuff they they're are they're drinking the gatorade

yeah right the west yeah and because the shah is there's a lot of political prisoners that his human rights record is quite boo-boo even though we haven't actually fucking we haven't talked about the oil crisis either the crisis of the 70s right yeah just as a quick recap

1973 Yom Kippur war that's not about Kippers that's about fucking lanes boundaries lanes yeah gerrymandering Stan your lane

yeah it's Israel it's Israel It's about borders. It's about borders, not lanes, yeah. If only they had a lane assist. The Israelis and the Palestinians. Anyway, it's Israel and Syria, I think. Big war in 1973.

And what this does is OPEC, which is the organization of petroleum exporting countries. There's a boycott of anyone who supports Israel, which is obviously all the Western countries. So the price goes through the roof. And then the Shah sees this. And he goes, oh, fuck, if we just increase the price, never mind about what's going on Israel, we'll fucking cane it in. So he increases the price so much that his oil revenues go from 13 billion a year to 80 billion a year. And there's one year in the 70s where Iran's projected economic growth is 40%. And bear in mind that like we live in Britain in 25, we're like...

1% we're celebrating. 0.05%. That's what we're doing. We're on the streets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're like, we're stuck in Kirstarmor off. You've cracked it, right? This guy, trust would fucking love this guy.

he's going 40% growth but none of this money is going to people and there's no political freedom so anyway 1977 Star Wars comes out and everyone's like this Khomeini guy looks a lot like Darth Vader

no so 1977 the Iranian government cracks down on opposition groups including the leftists, intellectuals if you've got a dirty bum you're getting in jail remember the Nazis built the jail and there's a widespread campaign of censorship, political oppression

which only causes more protests, more people are sticking on his bootleg, commeney's bootlegs. Something that happens in nearly all big revolutions is the person in charge fucks it. Fumbles the bag, has a meltdown. Be it the English Civil War with Charles I, Charles I, French Revolution or Sir Nicholas II

in the Russian Revolution. It's always someone, the person that has opportunities to take control of a situation and they just fuck it. Fuck it. This is the beginning of him fucking it. He panics, basically. Because some protests are erupting and he panicked.

He sees that Chomeli's getting a lot of support. Yeah. And what he does, now, you know how they talk about triggers? Yeah. So, like, when you're doing GCC history, you're like, okay, so these are the causes of the First World War. The trigger is the assassination of Franz Ferdman, which sparks it. You're always looking about causes, the trigger. Now, we've talked about the causes for nearly two hours now.

Yeah. The trigger is that someone writes an article, the Iranian, the Shah, writes an article in a popular paper, calling the iotaota gay now he was like I've got a perfect plan yeah yeah this will show him up he's a he's a woofter what you mean the straightest man who's

he means the guy who's making the straightest songs the guy who's so straight he can't finish a book he goes yep he's gay he lives in France why else would you move there unless you're gay he's thick he's stupid he's got stupid

eyebrows look at his silly beard he's big gay and this this is like a sort of esteemed newspaper and the country goes fucking ape shit they're like it's pure slander yeah it's completely

none of it's true obviously but the shars just hit the your gay card that's all he's got and they hate that and they all hate it famously around hates being gay well do you reckon in the 60s

in the swing of 60s is it little gay yeah it must be a bit going on homosexuality was criminalised under the shard it was mostly tolerated oh wow so it's like a class C drug yeah yeah but then

Iotola comes in death penalty. He's not fucking up. He doesn't fuck about the ice hollering. If you get your dick out in the wrong place, you're done. You're done. He's never more grumpy than seeing gay sex.

Death penalty. So what happens now is in 1978, 79 is such a big year. We are on the cusp. We're on the cusp. The trigger has been pulled. We're in a tinderbox. He's just done it.

He's called the grumpy. guy gay, what the fuck's going to It's about to kick off. If you can't wait for the next episode where we actually go through the in and outs of the revolution, the embassy siege, all that happens with Iran. Khomeini sexuality. Is he

gay? No. Please don't cut my head off. I will spoil that one. I'll ruin that surprise. He's straight. He's as straight as round as ever lived. And I love straight guys. I think they're the best. If you can't wait for the next episode, that will, is already on the Patreon?

Add free. All that stuff. But either way, thank you so much for listening. Don't cut a heads off. See you next time.