Fin vs History - “Show us your Sunday Roast, Love!”: Anthony Eden | Post War British Prime Ministers, 1945-1979

Episode Date: September 11, 2025

Antony Eden, always the bridesmaid, never the bride - but when he did finally get married he pooed himself at the altar. How much is he to blame for Suez,  Britain’s biggest humiliation on the world stage?  The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened.  For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon ⁠patreon.com/fintaylor CHAPTERS: 00:00 A Proper Chap 06:50 Lovely Pair of Top Bollocks 14:15 Who is this hot piece of ass? 18:06 Eden and Hitler 22:46 Eden on Gear 26:28 Suez Crisis 33:14 Macmillan the Snake 38:15 James Bond is a Cuck’s Fantasy 41:04 Eden Truss Relegation Battle Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome back to Finn versus History. You join us for part four. In our frolic through the managed decline of the British Empire. Jolly frolic through managed decline. We're on to Anthony Eden. Yes. There he is. of all Prime Ministers, probably.

Well, I was going to say there's an element of Horatio in Tulsa, Eden, but then... I just complimented myself. No, but I take it back now. He's so handsome. He was definitely the best dressed. Can we get Anthony Eden fashion sense?

Yes, he was a proper chap. Yes. Which is, we're in the era of the last proper chaps. He's the truest gentleman to... Definitely. Look at this. Yeah, he was like,

yeah, he was a fashion icon of the day. Big top hat, big coat. Yeah, look at this. Yeah, lovely stuff. I mean, his granddad was Earl. Gray, who came up with El Gray tea, right? Really? So that's how fucking grandfathered in he is.

He's from that fucking tea money. He's got... He's got tea money. Yeah. There's old money, then there's fucking tea money. You know how people... You know your posse if your granddad's a fucking tea. Yeah.

Like, if you're like John peppermint, yeah. You're sorted. Yeah. You're fucking sorted. He's from the Camamal Dynasty. The Camamal Dynasty? That sounds like a Chinese dynasty.

It does, yeah. I mean the Wattsitz dynasty, that's less... That's new money. Yeah, that's new money. That's Gauch. What's its quaver dynasty. Anthony Eden is embroil... You know, he's known only for the Suez Canal crisis,

which has become a synonym for... He was only in for two years and he really fucked it. Probably the biggest fuck up, to be honest, of any prime minister, solo fuck up of any prime minister, pretty much. Trussie's got to be up there. Again, another gorgeous prime minister. Wait, would you say trust is fuck up? Great to look at, but...

You've got to save our powder for... Trust is coming. I'm coming. Thinking of trust. I'm coming. Thinking of trust. I'm saving trust. Would you say trust is bigger fuck up

than Suez? No, I'm just saying when you're thinking of a Prime Minister who is like inseparable from a big fuck up. Yeah. I think that's trust. Yes.

As much as it is Eden. But trust is... If trust no one really knew who she was, then she became Prime Minister, then she fucked up. Eden was so experienced. Trust was a fucking page three girl that we elected because we were so horny.

And we got our comeuppance, okay? Don't elect Lucy Pinder To run the economy We're fucking putting Kelly Brook in number 10 Of course what do you think is going to happen The mortgage market's going to tank She's too fit

She's not going off going on between the ears And Eden's fucking hot as well Eden's a fucking hot piece of ass And you're giving him the keys to number 10 What are you think is going to happen Of course he's going to fuck it over Suez You know Trust is a domestic fuck up

You know entirely self-made To be fair Eden's He's dealt a bad hand Yes Because after the post-war boom It's just starting to cool off a bit Just as he gets into power

Yeah, Britain's starting Britain's starting to boom a bit In 1955 But inflation concerns Blah, blah, blah, blah Monetary tightening Yeah Oh, monetary

Sorry, I've still got Liz Truss in my head So I'm feeling like, oh, who's What's that, Charlie? That's an edit of Liz Truss with her I'm absolutely brimming with her clothes off I'm absolutely bursting at the seams with the camera Get that off the screen

get that off the screen Eden is a hot piece of ass who's been waiting to take Yeah He's Gordon Brown It is but it's hotter He's hotter than Gordon Brown Yeah he's much hotter than Gordon Brown

But it's the same story Gordon Brown was in for two years as well Wasn't he? It's very similar Brown's in for more than two years Was he 2008 to 2010? No 2007 he came in

So three years Because he's 08 was the correct But again Brown kind of saves the world Arguably It's not sexy People say Gordon Brown saves the world with the financial crisis. Do they?

Yeah. We've got to say, I'm interested to hear that, but you're going to have to wait and see when we reach the Gordon Brown episode. Him and Alec, Save the World. Okay. I can't wait to hear your new Labour propaganda. Yeah, yeah, it's coming. It's coming.

When we get to Blair, we're not, we're not leaving Blair. No. You're like the fucking Matt Ford of podcast. I am. I got a stoma. But Matt Ford's like best friends with Blair, isn't he? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, they used to work.

He does a French over a year. It's like, I'm like, I'm. Would you go to the fringe? Just watch, like, that was bloody reasonable. Yeah, it's not sexy. You know, what sexy is? I go to the fringe for some nice common sense thinking. Yeah, I mean, centrism isn't sexy.

You know, trust is sexy. A radical free market, economically illiterate. Libertarian. Pin-up girl, libertarian. Essentially, it's Liz Tross's, just trust's economic understanding can be boiled down to that little thing they had in page three. We're like, what do you think about the economy? Yeah, I think the working man deserves a fair wage.

Yeah. It's just how their cans out. That's the problem with trust, but we'll get there. At the moment, we are mired in the 50s, Anthony Eden, the kind of... We're actually digging our way to trust. This is the long road to trust. We've got a machete and we're cutting through the jungle. Hacking through the white man.

Get us to trust quickly. Can't wait to get to trust. Yes, you're handsome Eden, but we've got things to do. Eden and Trust, I'd say that's the fittest prime ministerial pairing you could have. For sure. If we're doing like Blind Day pairing prime ministers, who would have... have the sexiest children. Yeah.

That's afraid that wrong. Who would have the best good-looking children? Yeah. It's not really getting any better, is it? It's not for us. Most sexy child. The most beautiful children. Got a bit horny there.

Most gorgeous young boys. Super non-strikes again. Super non-sincere. I mean, I think Eden and Trust is probably. Yeah, I'd say so. Maybe. The Prime Ministers are not a good-looking bunch, the British Prime Ministers. We don't elect on looks that much.

And when we do, when we do it, it goes to disaster. It goes badly. We've learnt our lesson. Atley, not a good looking particularly. Pretty average looking. Did a great job. Brown saved the world.

Save the world. Blair started attractive full of him. By the end, he'd absolutely fucked it. Yeah. Blair, surely gets a new teeth lad. Yeah. The amount of money you got. Everyone's saying that you're the devil incarnate.

Don't look like him. He does look evil now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he does. The Christmas card of Blair and the... Yeah, one of the all-time great Christmas cards is Shiree holding Tony back from a public. right.

Yeah, you fucking what, come? You fucking what? I told you had fucking W-O-M-Ds. Yeah. Anthony Eden, a gorgeous man,

one of the most qualified men to every prime minister in some ways. And he was the last of the war generate, politicians.

Oh, yes. Yeah, I mean... What was Eden's role in the war? Do we know what Eden's role? Yeah, he'd been in the cabinet for appeasement. We'll get to that.

We'll get to that. Before, as ever, we need to place this. Anthony Eden's reign is 1955 to 1957. So... 1995.

Could you place this for us? 1955. This is post Elvis making women have fizzy pants. The women at Elvis concerts, pants are like a fucking cheap of Baraka. Yeah. And this is pre-Elvis shitting his pants so much he dies. Thank you. Beautifully placed.

You know, before... This bookends of Elvis career. Ian comes to power and when women wake up after a night out, they're putting their pants in a glass of water, having seen Elvis. And it's fizzing. Like a barocca. Like a barocca. It's absolutely fizzing.

And then if you put Elvis' pants after he died in a glass of water, and it's bubbling. It's bubbling, and it's seeping and it's oozing, because he's shat himself today. He had a poo so big, he had a heart attack. God bless him. The king. But that's still to come.

Anthony Eden takes power in 1955, and again, let's paint a picture. The house price, the average house price, is in today's money, 50 grand. Okay, so he's going up, but not by loads. a bit since Churchill. It was 70 grand in today's money. So it's cooling.

Unemployment rate about 1%. Unemployment's been unbelievable in the last three prime ministers. But that's because everyone's died. Okay, right. So if you haven't got a job in this area, you're fucking thick. When the entire population has been bombed

or is like traumatised. I mean, you talk about mental health crisis now. There's so many jobs to do basically as well. Yeah, you've got to rebuild the whole fucking country. Yeah. There's a real argument for just bombing Coventry again and just rebuilding it. Yeah.

Just to give people some work. Yeah. Plime, a beer, £1.79 in today's money. Also, everyone's doing real jobs then. Real work. Well, everyone's like, it's like a carpenter, a fucking crofter, whatever. Yeah, they're craftsmen. Yeah.

They do all jobs that, like, but now you fucking, when you're doing crowd work, what is it? It's recruitment for the bloke. Consultants. Marketing for the girlies. It's just, you work at a tech startup, you don't know what your job is. You're lost in, all of my friends are lost in the bows of a tech company where they work from home. and people forget they work there and they've been there for five years doing nothing.

What do you do again? Everyone's a data analyst. They sit in their fucking pants, occasionally doing Zoom calls. And I, you know, because my flatmate works from home. Yeah,

it's just like, are you at work? He's like, well, yeah, it's like, we're fucking cycling through a park. Yeah,

I mean, we do real work. We host a racist podcast. That's actual work. Exactly. We have a trade. Yeah. We have a craft.

This is a craft. Yeah. They would have understood this, this job. Well, well, they would just call it a podcast. Well, they were just, no, they would just call it a conversation, right?

Yeah, in 2025, this is a racist podcast, but in 1955, this is just an honest conversation between two well-spoken young men. Patriots. They're two patriots. The Christmas number one, Dickie Valentine's Christmas alphabet. ITV is established in 1955. Right, so Love Island. And the Love Island starts, the Royal Christmas Messages first broadcast. Muffin the Mule gets cancelled.

Now, what did he done? Was that a rape thing? What's Muffin the Mule done to get cancelled? Is that a Saville thing? Well, Savan didn't really get cancelled. He was kind of past that. He's kind of a hero. In a way, in the outran cancellation.

Yeah, can't catch me. Catch me if you can. There wasn't a lot of good stuff on TV. All right, so it's still very... It's crooner stuff. Yeah. Handsome bloke with pipes. That's what you're after.

I want a handsome bloat with pipes. I don't want this disgusting female chub muck. What does I mean? You want to go with a woman with big chabs to see a man. man with big pipes. I called him chubs. My mistake. Look at that woman's disgusting chubs.

Such a clearly closeted man. Put your chops away, love. Talking about tips with such disgust. Chips. I'm sick of looking at all these women with a disgusting chubs out. Let's get a fella on. Where did Chips come from?

I don't miss Chubs. Do you miss Chubs? Have you heard of Chubs? Because me and my friends use Chubs all the time. Yeah, I've heard of Chips. You heard of Chbbs, Sweeby? When did it become, when did Chibs become a thing? I think the worst, I had a northern man at a pub say,

lovely pair of top bollocks. Why are you doing that? Why are you ruining breast? You're making them better. You're a gay man, you're making them better. Top bollocks. Chebs. It's a Scottish term.

You're fucking chebs. One suggested origin is that it's a blend of the words chest and bollock. Pretty. You know, so it's top. Top bollocks. Chest. Oh, hang on. Hang on.

Get your chubs out. Another source suggested it might be related to the term chubbies. there you go look at that lovely girls lovely chubbies I would say my favourite

still is Nunga Nungas Can we see the Nunga Nungas? I don't think you can call them that anymore

Going to Nunga Nunga Nunga land Didn't Churchill sort them out in the Mammar rebellion I'd like to propose a campaign

where we get breasts called Luga Bougas 50 slangs for tits let's see what people were calling

Nunga Nunga's in the 50s Yeah what were they calling tits in the 50s What are they got What are they I'd say Jugs

Maybe Jugs Maybe Juggs has got to come in about this time. Yeah, maybe in America. It would take a while for it to come over here. Jugs is the British. Common sang boobies, that's like... Look at that girl's boobies. A bazookas.

Prox. Chandeliers. Look at a fucking balcony on that thing. They're calling it balcony. God, she's got a lovely mezzanine. Look at the shelf on that. Bazumes. Okay, so bazookas.

I guess because the World War II bazooker was in World War II. Bazookas are fucking... We should come back for... I mean, now, who's bazookas are we going to be looking at. at. Barbara Windsor. Young Barbara Windsor. Absolutely. Class A smoke show Barbara Windsor. The carry-on films. You can see why those men are jibbering

wrecks, running about in her nethers. The fucking chandeliers on that thing. Look at that. Yeah, I've got... Yeah, maybe the Overton windows passed me by on this one. No, I... I think the Churchill Fitty was unbelievable. Yes, she was. And I've said, I've gone quite hard, and then these photos aren't backing it up.

Right, let's get the next one. Sabrina. Norman An Sykes. Get Norma and Sykes. Let's come on. Let's try and save the Eden. period. Yeah, this must also be the last time there was a fit woman ever called Norma. Yeah, she's nice. She looks nice.

She's also got a cracking third-party wall if that's what we're calling them. A lovely iron curtain. Lovely iron curtain. That sounds more like an arse thing, doesn't it? An iron curtain has fallen. Well, that's because they're all doing butt stuff, wasn't it, the communists.

People had good bazookas, good chandeliers in this age. What are people eating? Well, rationing's ended. So meals, and this is the way you get meat and two veg. Yeah. 55. So you get in steak and kidney parts. fish and chips.

So what did you eat in two veg? That's a roast dinner? It's a roast dinner. Yeah. So it's potatoes. It's Iceland food. No, no, no, no. This is your mum's roast.

My mum's what? Your mum's making a roast on a Sunday. Sorry, I thought we're doing slang about. I know, your mum's roast is not your mum's mitch. I want to see his mum with a roast out and her chandelier's showing. Go on love shows your Sunday roast. Oh, fucking get your roast out. What is it, pork this week?

what is it chicken I don't want gravy you filthy's leg it's a lamb and mint sauce or pork with apple lamb and mint sauce that's disgusting

I don't know why that's disgusting I think it just puts it to my mind really choppy flat a really choppy flaps

you know what I mean flats are choppy today lad out at sea oh see anyway my word so we've we've really danced around

Eden this episode well we've been painting a picture of the time you know he's a hot piece of ass and it's clearly it's an increasingly sexualized society.

They're calling women chandeliers. Oh, Charlie! Charlie, get that old. Charlie. You can't put flaps on the screen, Charlie. You can't put a woman slammer mint sauce on the screen. We've got Phoebe the researcher.

There's going to be a talking head documentary about our crimes where Phoebe's voice is muffled and it's got a voice change and he talks about this in detail. Right. Come on. They're poor huge vagina legs. And then the producer got a picture of.

Why do they sound like a cookie monster? The nooky monsters. I was sexually harassed at work. It undermines what they're trying to say. Oh, my God. It was a culture of sexual abuse. Anyway. It should be more like this.

Sir Anthony Eden calls a snap election. Again, a snap election is not a euphemism. It has a cure a mandate after Churchill has finally given up the ghost. The campaign is unavailable. So he just gets too ill and he just gives him the reins as simple as that. Church is completely fucked by this point. The campaign is described by a journalist

as the lull before the lull. Right. So a very boring campaign. Yeah, the Labour's not doing... That's the thing. Labor had no ideas in the 50s. The only thing they're suggesting is that they want to abolish the 11 plus exams

and restore free dental care. That's their main policies. Conservatives win a 60-seat majority. Right. I imagine Eden's quite popular at the public at this point. He's a smoke show? Yeah, absolute smoke show. And this is the first election

under Queen Leads Fifth the second, which is nice. Rest in peace. And at this point, QE2 is a smoke show. Yeah. Fit Queen. Young, a bit of a plane, Jane? Nah, wash your mouth out.

Let's see Young. Let's objectify the Queen please. I'm a fucking plate trip when it comes to the Queen. She's not got... You'll finish your plate. I'll finish my plate. I'll lick it clean.

Her sister was an absolute smoke show. Yeah, look at that. On the far left, look at that. Yeah. Gorgeous. Yeah, she's gorgeous. get the Queen's sister up. Margaret, oh, yeah.

I mean, this could be the whole podcast. I'm just ranking. Margaret. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she was a goer as well. Yeah, she had something about her. She was a real fucking goer. She was nailing fags.

And I don't mean in like the biblical sense. I mean... And I don't mean it by the cigarettes. I don't mean... Right, come on. Come on. So, come on. We've painted the picture of the world that Ian's come into now.

One of the most Etonian cabinets in British history. So so far... Churchill before. Yeah, Churchill wasn't Eton. and here's Harrow. McMillan was Etonian. Rab Butler. These are the people

who are swilling around in power. Has a rival with McMillan. Eden didn't like him either. We should put a pin in the fact that McMillan is our next prime minister. He's also a bit of a snake. A bit of a snake here. There's a snake.

And Butler and McMillan don't get on. So they're kind of scheming for a favour as well. But I think we need, before we get into Eden's Premiership, we need to, who is this hot beat of us? as you say he's part of the landed classes

descended from Earl Grey Grand Party World War I he's got a pretty strong record he's awarded the military cross for the rescue of a wounded man from no man's land He made very little of this event

which is quite interesting Yeah It's nice He's probably he's properly schooled Yeah well don't cause of He's the last but he's not opening up on Diver's CEO Which is what I want to see

Is someone of this generation on DiV's CEO going Well I'm not talking about that Can't grumble No it's fine I'm alive aren't I Anthony Eden's favorite food roast beef and Yorkshire pudding

he's a straight man yeah yeah Yorkshire pudding's bum rose beefers flaps yorkshire pudding's the ass yeah but he frequently dined out which is a euphemism for being gay

in 19 this is oh this is amazing right so in 1918 at EAP he's positioned opposite Hitler on the battlefield oh really and they would go on to discuss this later in night

because when he goes to the conference, because he's part of Chamberlain's cabinet. He's the Foreign Secretary under Chamberlain. He gets a souvenir from Hitler, which is like a map with both their positions on the field. No way. Where they were fighting. Isn't that incredible?

Look at that. I'd love to have that map. I'd love to have a lock of his hair. I'd love to lock it. And Hitler was reportedly pleased to hear that Eden's made Foreign Secretary, which is nice, isn't it? Well, he's a charmer. You can tell. He is the ultimate. I think he's got a... He charmed me. He's charmed. Because all I knew about him was Suez

and I was going in with a... Anthony? You've done. charm me. You got the job. Can I just shake your fucking hot piece of ours? I bet he smelled amazing. Oh, he looks like he smelled fucking amazing. Yeah. And everyone is dressing like shit in this period at the time because they've all got tattered stuff, everything sewed together. They got them

I actually, well in the 30s they are yeah. But even post-war I guess it's starting to pick up. It's starting to pick up now, I think. The consumer boom under church is starting to... Black Friday. You've kicked an old woman to death to get a nice cardigan. But Eden's not doing Black Friday. He's got a

tailor. He's got it all sewn up. He's got Saville. He's doing white Monday. He's doing white most days, I think. The experience of the First World War would never leave him, which many credit these years as informing his later opposition to appeasement and to Colonel Nassau, which we'll get to. So in 1923, this young hot thing, young, dumb, full of come, is elected to Parliament.

And in March 35, he shadows the Foreign Secretary. Yeah, I like the name shadow, because it implies that they don't know you're there. Yes. It implies that you're constantly. hype sneaking around. But just trying to learn how to do a job better. So he's a minister in the foreign office and he goes to Berlin to meet Hitler.

Yeah. And they talk at length about World War I and Eden found the Fuhrer to possess an easy charm. Really? And Eden took to the meeting this souvenir. Mapper then mutually position at Ypres, the Hitler had drawn on the back of a menu, which is nice, isn't it?

So 1935, he begins the first of three stints as Foreign Secretary under Chamberlain. He would go on to meet Stalin and Mussolini. Was he the first of the cabinet to meet the lot? I think he was the first to meet all of them. He might even have been the first Western politician to meet all of them. And he resigns in 35 at sort of a protest

against Chamberlain's policy of coming to friendly terms with Italy. More Italy than Hitler, but appeasement in general. So he goes early. This is way before Munich. So this is I guess this is even before the This is before they know. People are not sure if Hitler's going to be, you know, a goody

or about it. Yeah, it's like, don't judge a book by its cover. Like, give him a minute, Anthony. You know, we don't know what kind of man this is. Aschalus as well. Pre-Aunchalus. This is, you know, pre-Aunchalus. I mean, Anshilus is about as reasonable as Hitler ever got.

I don't, under, Eden's made of, you know, he's a rash man, Anthony Eden, clearly. Yeah. Short-tempered. Yeah. Quick to judge. Yeah. And I guess maybe that will come in later.

And then, so he leaves the cabinet, and then Second World War, re-enters the government. Yeah. When Churchill enters, because obviously him and Churchill had been the main opponents. Yeah, they're always. And so he kind of becomes Churchill's little.

prodiget, really. What's the age difference? When was Churchill born? 1874? So it's like, okay, so it's about 20 years. I didn't know this. This is crazy. In 1950, Eden divorces his wife, so he becomes the first divorce. But he later remarries Churchill's niece.

Yeah, let's see if she's a smoke show. Because that's crazy. That's like your political, I mean, it's like fucking the boss's daughter. Yeah, but it's such as, there's so few people that are high enough class to marry within that group it's all within you know i guess so you only got a pool of like 10,000 people you can pick still she's a graceful looking older woman yeah she's aged well we see her oh that's her and eden there sex state leaked type in sex state leaked and anthony eden sex state leaked uh so and

much to the shagrin of churchill's son randolph yeah randolph randolph uh he gets angry because he feels that eden sort of supplants him as Winston's favorite son but if you're called I don't think you can be angry because you just sound silly. Oh, are you angry, Randolph? Randolph's livid. There's that fat guy called Randolph who does stuff with the sidemen. They wouldn't know any of that. They wouldn't know what the sidemen are.

Sidemen aren't around at this point. This is pretty sidemen. But I guess the war cabinet was sort of like the original sidemen. You're right, it was. They did like football matches. You know, now they're all breaking off. They were their own channels, but you know. Yeah, it's like.

KSI's Churchill. Yeah, they're their most powerful when they're together, really, aren't they? So Eden becomes. foreign secretary in 51 for the third and final time in 53 during Churchill's tenure he becomes really ill really fucking ill now I think this is a is it a gall bladder thing basically he has surgery and they fuck the surgery it's literally a knife slip they cut is it a bile duct that's what it is it's a bile duct he sneezes and just fucks it someone the surgery just fucks it so can you find out what like a bile duct what does that mean why are you ill with a

bile duct complaint. I don't really know. Why are you ill? Why are you bile? Yeah, so what is the bile? The bile duct is a series of thin tubes that carry bile from your liver and gall bladder. So it's a duct for bile, yeah, I know. I guess. So my, uh, when we were in the neonatal unit with my daughter was born, we met loads of other, uh, moms who'd obviously had emergency surgeries because the pregnancies have been fucked up. There's one friend of us who we met there and she, you know, you're all sharing war stories when you meet them. Yeah. And just kept saying the word bile she was like I went green I was itching

my bile was bad there was too much bile it was like a massive build up a bile the baby was just causing bile the baby was too big so there was bile everywhere so basically it's just the most fucking medieval thing yeah yeah so basically she had too much bile in her because the baby they just get the baby out of four humours weren't balanced yeah she had an unbalanced humours

yeah anyway so he has a bile problem and then the surgeon just fucking slips and cuts I don't know what something but he then begins to take this large cocktail of drugs Right. Dexamil, which is an amphetamine. Yeah.

Amor Battybal. I'm more Battybal. Amor Batty Boy, which is a truth serum. Seco barbital, which is a sleeping pill. And a demuride, which is an opioid. Fuck, so he's on a fucking... Yeah. He's out of it.

Yeah. He's blitzed. So Churchill was on the booze. Yeah. And his foreign secretary. Eden's like, I don't, to be honest, I prefer just gear. I feel like it makes the hangovers better. and like, I'm actually, I get a bit of come up

when I'm not drinking. So he's on speed and opioids and a truth serum and he's foreign secretary. Yeah. I mean, this is great. I mean... The 50s is fucking traumatized war veterans

blitzed out of their minds leading a country. But this is going to carry on to the 70s. Everyone until Thatcher has served in the war, it's on point. So this is all people who are just blitzing themselves to forget the chaos and trying to rebuild the country.

So he thought Churchill would only serve for one year and then Eden would take over. But by this point, Eden's so fucked. So Eden's actually trying to pull Churchill off the wheel. Yeah. And they're like, fuck off, I can drive. I'm going to the countryside. I know these roads.

He's doing that. And then at some point, Eden gets fucked on opioids. So Eden works on the Anglo-Ranean oil crisis, which he mentioned lots of times, which directly leads to the coup. He does help produce peace with North Korea in 53. And on the 5th of April, 55, Churchill resigns and Eden at long last

becomes Prime Minister And he's been a great foreign secretary He's considered a great He's considered one of the best foreign secretaries But it's completely wiped off with And in many ways the tragedy The irony of it is that domestically he was very bad But he was seen as the most qualified foreign secretary

That ever been and yet it's a foreign event That undoes him It was said that Churchill was bad with detail He was a big picture guy And Eden was all about detail Yeah. And then when Eden came into power, it was like he struggled.

He couldn't see the big picture. He couldn't see the big picture. He's just focusing on things. He's not terrible delegator, apparently. He couldn't delegate to us. What Churchill was good at was getting drunk while other people did the work. You do that. I don't care.

Give me a drink. So, you know, you said you know something about the crime? Well, no, I just, I read about it in the notes. But I guess it's quite hard to find non-sewers stuff that's interesting. Because it's only a two-year period that's so dominated by it. But in April 1956, Navy Frogman, a diver, Lionel Crabb disappeared whilst diving. The Admiralty issued a statement claiming crab had died whilst testing equipment. However,

it was quickly discovered crab had in fact been killed by spying on a Soviet ship when it was docked in Portsmouth, having brought Khrushchev there on a state visit. Eden had been approached by MS6 in advance about a potential dive, but it clearly forbidden it. M.I.6 did it anyway because they viewed him as weak. When the story broke

Eden, who had anger issues since he was a child, was beyond furious. I mean, those sort of Victorian men getting furious. Yeah. Oh! Right! Right! Right! Right! What the bloody hell. Bloody heck. But I,

we find this at the moment with our children that we don't know how to be, to discipline them. Because they have no respect for authority. They have no respect for us. Yeah. Or,

I mean, they're feral. Yeah. And then we're like, if they do something wrong, you're trying to improvise jeopardy or like a threat. Ha!

So we literally go, right, right, go and stand at the wall, stand at the face the wall, look outside. Yeah. So we just,

we just send my daughter to go and stay out the window for two minutes. And we're like, well, the fuck, I don't know. She loves it.

Well, she's just, I don't know. She thinks that's a punishment, but she's just like looking outside and we're like, why do you say that? You got to bring back the slipper? Yeah, we need the belt. Do you believe in smacking your children? Well, it's not socially acceptable.

So. Is it emotionally acceptable? No, I don't think it is. I think the balance is you want them to feel safe, always feel safe in the house. And yet you also have to stop them from, you know, just walking around with a massive knife. Yeah, you want to make them feel safe in the house,

but you also, that's the best. place to hit them because no one can see. It's the only place to hear them nowadays. In Sadiq's London. Yeah, you can't fucking smack a kid in Cafe Nero. No, my God. Yeah, so it's a tough one because you know, it's a hack, stand-up bit,

but as soon as you have kids, you realise why people smack them because no one, nothing makes you angry than your own kids being naughty. There's ways, I do believe in non-smacking disciplinarianism though, because you do see, especially middle-class parents letting their kids run absolutely wild.

Well, there's disciplinarism. They've just, most of them have given up entirely. Yeah. They're like gentle parenting. Yeah, crayons on the wall. They're expressing themselves. Do not let them express themselves like that. Express yourself outside.

Yeah. But not inside. No. That's what the outside's for. Let's get to Suez. Because this is really, this is the defining event. You'd say you're Britain in the 50s, really. Definitely.

And what we've been building up to. Because the empire's already collapsed like a fucking pudding, right? Yeah, they're packed up. They've got out. They've left a tent. And Suez is not the end of the British. empire that actually ended a decade ago a decade and a half ago it's just the biggest symbol of how fucked we are but it's also the biggest symbol of british weakness in that until this point

you know we are keeping up with american rearmament we're sending troops to career we've got we've got an atomic bomb but this is all being funded by the americans and no one really would know that we're actually doing this with american money in order to keep up with the person with the suit and the lingerie in the back. That is Britain. And Suez is when the front bit gets ripped off and it's just pure lingerie. It's just a bloc in his room. And embarrassed as well. Oh no. Yeah. So a bit of context on the Suez Canal. In 1875, Egypt sold its shares

in the Suez Canal due to a financial crisis and the then Prime Minister Disraeli buys them using government funds and the Suez Canal becomes controlled by the Suez Canal company, which is essentially a British and French joint venture. What percentage of our trade comes through Seuss Canal? Can we find that out? Well, it's the way to India, obviously, because otherwise you've got to go all the way around the haran of Africa. Hearn of Africa.

But given that at this point, in 56, the UK and America have just done a massive... 30% of our trade. Fucking CIA MS-backed coup in Iran to maintain control of the oil fields. And that is how you get the oil out of Iran as soon as can now. Yeah. So it's all leading in the same picture.

It's all... It's, you know, Britain and America... trying to flex muscles. Britain's trying to keep up with America. America's trying to, ideologically, is pro decolonisation. We're terrified the Arabs are going to turn our lights off. Which they are. And here is where they finally find the light switch.

So, on July 26, 1956, Egyptian president, Arab nationalist, Colonel Abdal Gamma, Nasser, or something like that. Gaddafi's hero. Goddafi's hero, of course, announces the nationalisation of the Suez Canal. and Anthony Eden views NASA as a modern day Mussolini thug-ish, anti-British and is a threat due to his control of the Suez Canal. So Eden, before all this, discussed having NASA killed

because he comes to power in, I think, 54 or 55, anyway. Classic 50s fair. Yeah, they just have them killed. Yeah, yeah. Eden claims the Egyptians would hopelessly misman into the canal, which is proven groundless. So public sentiment, when this happens, demanded action, though it was unclear what that action should be.

In Parliament, Gate School, who was the Labour leader at this point. Is he the sitting opposite? Gates School, the right side of the Labour, but he was Hampstead, Liberal Intelligentsia Labour. Right. So he had like a big house in Hampstead and he was kind of that, even though Labour was trying to having identity crisis of who do we represent because the working class, a lot of them are now voting for the Tories.

Yeah. That sort of beginning of that left-wing intelligentsia. The Gateskill was like he would host a lot of parties in his Hampstead Mansion. They'd talk about arts and writers and stuff like that, a lot of that sort of stuff. So a lot of the Hampstead people now, really, are following the Gateskill sort of tradition. Oh, so like House to Campbell and all that. Yeah, I guess so, yeah. So Gates School says it's exactly the same that we encountered from Mussolid and Hitler in those years before the war.

The ghost of appeasement, it haunts the whole of this period, kind of all over the world. Even fucking Iraq war and stuff like that. It does the idea that we let Hitler grow too powerful And he did the ultimate crime Means that everyone sort of fucked it Because they think Hitler's going to come again And he doesn't

Yeah Yeah So they can only see NASA Through the lens of Hitler and Mussolini Well they say Mussolini And they call them So the Brits are kind of taking The Brits who are in Egypt

Are sort of a bit of a colonial joyride Yeah Right they're taking the piss They're treating the Egyptians Like second class citizens They're like loudly motorcycle racing in the streets of Cairo.

Hijacking camels. Yeah, just a lot of that. Yeah, Grand Theft, Forte, Cairo. And they all call them Wogs. So, and I do think the kind of British racist mind does view Italians and Egyptians is the same. Like you would. Yes, yeah.

So, McMillan, the snake, who is foreign secretary at this point, he supports the idea that you go and intervene early. Yeah. Now, he's banking on American support here, which isn't, obviously that isn't the story. but he is the first to suggest that the Israelis could be used in a plan the Churchill says early about Suez if they try and nationalise Suez

we'll set the Jews on them crazy the Israelis are Britain's Jews yeah we'll set the Jews crazy like walking up to a house thinking where is the Jew is crazy fucking hell so

October 24th tell them that if we have any more of their cheat will set the Jews on them and drive them into the gutter from which they should have never have emerged. Yeah. I mean, Churchill at this point is...

He's getting pretty fruity. He's getting fruity. Turn the mic off, Winston. Set the shoes on him. All right, granddad. Yeah, there's a lot of all right, granddad about Churchill's post... Chuck him a Quality Street and shut him up.

So, October 56, Britain and France secretly finalize a plan at Chequers after 10 days of discussion. The plan is this. Israel would invade the Sinai Desert and Britain and France would intervene under the guise

of upholding international law but in fact they would use that to take control of the canal sneaky very sneaky and this plan is finalised in secret and McMillan and Butler both agreed to it the plan obviously fails

now in November the 5th British and French forces joined Israeli forces by entering Egypt seeking to depose NASA they're basically going for a coup and to try and get control of the canal and maybe after the success of the Iran one Yeah, I guess they're living in a world where, yeah, they can do it.

Run it back, let's go again. And also, you know, for context, this is after the CIAQ in Guatemala. It's a world where coups are sort of seen as effective use of military power. By the way, so they do, because there's like a day of military conflict, right? Yeah. And we absolutely nail it. Destroy, of course, we do. Two hundred and five of their aircrafts.

Yeah. We, like, lose two. It's like it could not have gone better. Roll the clock back. Yeah. It's already going on. Tank battles. Because that's the interesting thing about Sue is.

It's a disaster of diplomacy. But as an operationally, it couldn't have gone better. Yeah. We've got the, we've got like, the first day goes brilliantly. So what is it? 22 dead, French 10 dead. Yeah. Israeli, 172 dead, Egyptian, somewhere between 1,000, 3,000 casualties.

Yeah, look at that. Like, the numbers are crazy. So what happens is they go in and they face backlash. And then immediately, US financial pressure, is applied which triggers a massive run on the pound which forces an immediate ceasefire and withdraw on November the 6th which sort of the public nature of it

demonstrates to the world that America it just laid so bare yeah that's why this is important is that actually this has been true for you know 10 years but this is the first time that it's undeniable to anyone that Britain is just a little bitch boy is a little bitch boy yeah and so

Eden's big mistake in this had been not to either strike earlier, I think there was something about... There's something about him also committing. Because what Churchill said, in retrospect, I mean, he is fucking senile at this point, but he said, I would have never gone for done this operation, but certainly once I'd started, I would have, what was it? You got it? I would never have dared. And if I dared, I would never have dared to stop.

That was kind of part of the indecision. The really is the kind of jarring halfway there, then pull back. Yeah, don't back down. You don't go back. You've got a great, you're in a great position. But then once he's done it, he knows that if America pulls out, then they're fucked because all the, the entire British welfare state is built on American money. Also, what interestingly keeps propping up, the kind of branding that Britain has managed to do of the English gentleman, it does play into a lot of diplomacy, where NASA really doesn't believe that Britain are going to be so underhand as this, because he believes in the idea

of the gentleman. This happens at the Falklands as well. They think there's like a gentleman's thing. It's like this branding that people think we're not going to be sneaky as hell than we are. And then it's also been suggested, given how quickly Macmillan flipped from supporting to opposing it, that he had exaggerated the extent of the pressure to ensure that Suez was a disaster and clear his own way into 9-10. So McMillan comes out as a bit of a snake.

Yeah. And we'll get on our next episode on McMillan the way that he snakes butler into getting into Prime Minister is awesome as well. He's a snake. He's a slippery snake. Macmillan tells the Queen he did not expect them to last six weeks. And it's kind of just, as we said, a symbol. of the power and in the wake of the failure

McMillan delivers his famous lines we are the Greeks and the American Empire you will find the Americans as much as the Greeks found the Romans great big vulgar bustling people more vigorous than we are and also more idle with more unspoiled virtues

but also more corrupt That's pretty astute Yeah gorgeous Now a bit of fun here immediately after this Where does Eden go? I don't know Jamaica

Does he? He goes to recoup Yeah to phone fucking Ian Fleming's house, Golden Eye. Yes. And he goes and fucks his wife. Yeah. Who at this point, he's having everyone have a look at a notion on her chandeliers.

Wait, Eden fucks his... And Fleming's wife. Anne Fleming... He cheats on his... Cheats on Churchill's niece. Well, I don't know if he fucks her. But Anne Fleming's have... I mean, is it Gates school?

One of the Labour guys has an affair with Anne Fleming. Anne Fleming is like high society, right? Because the Fleming's a high society. And she would just host people in Jamaica. And because Ian Fleming at this point is just drinking, right and James Bond, you know, he's not playing her any attention at all. Yeah. So she's just having lovely times with various high society.

She goes swimming with Anthony Eden in the Jamaican sea and stuff. So Ian Flemer was a cuck. I think so. So the Bond was a cuck's fantasy. Well, doesn't that make complete sense? That he's saying, and then he fucked another beautiful woman. He says, sorry, babe, I've got places to be. While his wife's going absolutely railed.

And then she was like, oh, please stay in bed, James. Sorry, babe. I've got things to do as his wife's just getting plowed. Anthony, and he's like, yeah,

no, never mind. And then he shoots a bad guy and he gets seals a car, and then he drives and he just goes

and he's a really cool car chase and then the woman's like, oh, James! He's like, yeah, I'm fuck you again. Oh,

oh, oh, and he's just, like, that's why James Bond exists is that the author's wife is being fucked so hard. And then he smacks the bitch

the nasty one. Smacks the woman. You'd be grateful for me fucking you. It's an insult rant. It's James Bond Because Anne Fleming was having everyone In Golden Eye

Anyway, isn't that interesting I've been to Golden Eye No Yeah, it's a hotel now What, the hotel Where Anne Fleming, well than to Eden? Yeah, yeah, I've been there. Christ.

It's amazing. It's just like a nice resort, but there's a... He's called Golden Eye. Yeah, so that's what he called his house. Anyway, where do we rank then, I mean, to Eden's... As the Prime Minister, we should just tie him up.

When does Eden... come out of office. Does he basically step down and then it comes in? Well, it's often seen by the public, right, that Suez happens and he has to go because the crisis, but he actually has to go because he's so ill. Oh, that's right. So that's it. His doctor, his doctor says... He gets a doctor's note. He gets a doctor's note. His doctor says, if you carry on like this, you're going to die. Yeah. And so he steps down. Yeah.

And then he lives for another like 10 years, 20 years maybe? It's quite a long time, I think. So no one believes him that you're ill. He's still 77. He's the guy who fakes an injury after. missing an open goal and then get substituted and the next game he's starting. He's fine.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, definitely our most dashing prime minister. Yeah. At all as well. It's great in photos.

Yeah. So where do we, I mean, where do we rank him? He's a, well, he's definitely the bottom up the three we've talked about

and he's actually. Well, I don't know. I mean. Who would, no, we were talking about as the prime minister?

Yeah, well, Churchill's second term. I don't know. Churchill's second term was five years. There was no crisis at all like soon. was and it was relatively stable Eden came in and did the biggest fuck-up which was also a personal fuck-up

it wasn't a fuck-up that had to happen it was he's on opiots it was his decision making it's not like one of these inevitable yeah so I think Eden's actually going to be in a relegation battle would trust my god for how competent but on the fit table they're going to be fighting for the championship

fine they're literally on reverse ends yeah they are yeah well maybe maybe that's the graph we're going to work out at the end series is there's an inverse between success. Brown and Attlee are doing all right. They're at the bottom. And then it flips.

Yeah. Wait, what's this? Eden? Is that an Eden quote? If you've broken the egg, you should make the omelet. That's quite nice. When life gives you lemons. Is that his reflection on Suez? Yeah, I think so. Because that was the mistake. Yeah.

Is he broke the eggs and didn't make the omelet. Well, what's making the omelet? Making the omelette is finishing the military operation and not pulling out. And also, you had all his military commanders who had put their lives at risk were already there. So that's it. You've broken the egg. Yeah, you might as well

just see what happens. Make the omelet. Yeah. Otherwise, you're just cracking an egg into the bin, aren't you? Yeah.

But it's a very, it's very post-world Britain. It's the whole, you know, you start something, you don't finish it. But I guess this is the last time. You innovate the motorcycle.

You don't fucking dominate. Yeah. But this is the last time Britain tries something on the international stage. Yeah. The last time it goes in with the sense of itself

as a great power. Because even like, yeah, Iraq, we're just following America. We realize what we do. We go, we don't have any. No, it's Falklands.

That's why Falklands is such a big thing. Yeah, it is symbolic of like... And we only do that because it's Thatcher. Yeah. Only mummy would take us to war and win. Yeah, although... And as we'll get to, Wilson famously keeps us out of Vietnam. That's his biggest achievement, probably.

This is probably biggest achievement. So, because this is... But, I mean, all that is the shadow of Suez. Yeah. Because it, yeah, it defines foreign policy for a generation. Yeah. Which is the, uh, we're the Americans little bitch, slapdog. So I guess because any, any,

Like British military success is going to be shed dad fodder. Yes. That's why all the shed dads read about SAS operations, because that's all we've got. All we've got is like tiny elite operations. It's getting hostages out. It's that sort of stuff because that's... This is shed divorce dad stuff.

Crying really much serious. Yeah, this is trying to ignore this. Oh, Suez doesn't count. Yeah. And it sort of marks the beginning of an era of rapid decolonization. Under McMillan, it's a complete African fire. Well, the invincibility's gone. Yeah.

It's like immediately now. Yeah. Yeah. We're standing there with the fucking lingerie on. Yeah. Trousers are down. Yeah. Britain's trousers are all the way down now.

So, I mean, I think he's charmed me. That's what I mean. He charms you. Yeah. I like how he looks. I like his style. Yeah. I think the fact that he was on a cocktail of drugs should be taken into account.

Are we just pussy whipped? Does he just pussy whipped us? Maybe. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I think he's... Cuntruck, I meant to say. Cuntruck.

We're cuntstruck by Eden, as we are with trust. Unemployment was the lowest it had been. Feltz were approximately just... But he also wasn't a great pro-earnings. There was nothing particularly good. It wasn't a great

delegator or manager in those two years. It was a pretty disastrous. No, but he's clearly a foreign secretary. That's his job. His job is the number two. He's a number two who got the job and fucked it.

He's Steve McLaren. Yeah, he should have done lingerie ads and not been prime minister. Yeah. He should have done Calvin Klein ads on a big bus. So, next episode. Yes.

You've never had it so good. Oh, Macmillan, the snake. He comes in and the sun really starts to set. The last Edwardian. The last Edwardian and our first British political sex scandal. Oh. Worf.

If you'd like that episode, that's already on the Patreon. We have three pounds a month. You can also be part in a sex scandal. And by that, I mean you're commenting about how people who have sex are disgusting underneath women's reels. Brilliant. Landed perfectly. Three pounds a month.

Just for ad free and bonus episodes. We've been doing a bonus series on. the Great Train Robbery. We're doing a bonus series on the Thorpefer. What a bono that is. Either way, thanks so much for stopping by

and we'll see you for Harold McMillan next time on our epic series of post-war British PMs. But until then, goodbye. Good night. Are you tired of starting your day with pointless political arguments, superficial summaries and lukewarm hot takes on the radio? Then switch to the bunker, where we look at the news without the nonsense.

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