Fin vs History - Standing On The Shoulders Of Mengele | The History of Medicine (Part 2)

Episode Date: October 15, 2026

Strap in, we’re on course to planet phronologos.   The History Of Medicine (Part 2)   The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened.  For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon ⁠patreon.com/fintaylor This episode of Fin vs History is brought to you by Surfshark.   Secure your privacy with Surfshark! Enter coupon code FVH for an extra 4 months at https://surfshark.com/fvh Chapters: 00:00 - It’s A Refuge 05:27 - You need Balls 09:21 - The In House Phrenologist 13:44 - Smoking Arse 18:15 - Trial And Error 22:18 - The Irish Giant 24:48 - Dick N Mix 26:56 - The Worst Surgeon 29:36 - Tin Tin 32:50 - Charlie’s Squeamish 36:07 - He’s An Angel 39:30 -   It’s Not A Crime 42:33 - It’s Getting Less Scientific 46:57 - AIDS 54:02 - Dog’s Dinner Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Raffle number RAF 157-3916. Please play responsibly. Welcome back folks to Finn versus history. Horatio and I are on part two of the history of medicine. In our last episode, we dealt comprehensively with the ancient techniques of shoving crocodile shit up your fanny. And we uncovered... Traditional medicine.

Traditional medicine. Traditional medicine. Traditional Egyptian medicine. And we uncovered the... We made the discovery of Miracle Village. Yes. Most importantly, I'd say. our biggest discovery was that Miracle Village exists.

Charlie, who's the mayor of Millicle Village? Please, who's the mayor? Who's the mayor? And do you have to be a pedophile to be mayor? Yes. Where do they take votes? Is that in... There's no local school for them to...

No, exactly. Yeah. There could be an empty school, though, to be fair. But I think they could have like a Nook Town-style school. Can Pido's vote if the vote is in a school? That's an interesting question. Yeah, or do you have to be messed outside? Yes.

Or do you have to do it in a hazmat suit? Does your constitutional right to vote, you know, does that liberty interfere with your inability? No way, no way. Sorry, no way is the mayor of Miracle Village called Dick Withero. Wow. Wither Dick is the mayor of Pidoville. No, no, sorry, it was founded by Dick Witherow. Okay.

It's managed by Patrick Powers. Oh my God. Patrick Powers by figures, by great figures. Figures such as Patrick Powers. Now, is Patrick Powers a paedophile? What are Patrick Powers? He's got on Instagram? You'd have to be, you know, you can't be a paedophile if your name is Patrick Powers.

Because it's a literative, isn't it? Patrick's powers is Peter. Or is it nominal determinism? Yeah, maybe. Miracle Village, Sex offenders are welcome. Now look. That's what it says in the sign here. Sex offenders are welcome here.

Twinned with Southampton, obviously. Now, this is where it gets interesting. I'm sorry to dwell. This is obviously not a two part of Miracle Village. even though we could easily do that. I think in some ways it should be. I think it's an interesting one. I do actually, in my heart,

like that there's a place for sex... In my heart. To live without as much judgment or like be called enough because the punishment of living in a miracle village is enough. But sex offenders welcome. Yeah. Now it's starting to become a bit. I don't know.

You know how they say, was it refugees welcome? Yeah. It's sex offenders welcome here. Yeah. So would we not be welcome then? Well, no. I guess why would you want to be there? Well, I guess it's a refuge, isn't it?

But maybe I'd go there and be like, to be honest, as a non-peed-de-fart, I feel quite othered. This is a sex offender's refuge in the way that a women's refuge would say battered wives welcome here. Yeah. You'd be like, well... Don't want to get those mixed up. Exactly. God forbid. I checked in...

Is that one of them? That's two of them. Two of them work now. But sex offenders can be just running the mill rapists. I guess so. Yeah. But again, it's... You're everyday.

You're meat and two veg. bland blamonge rapist. Do they get on or is it hell on earth in there? Or do you mean the rapist and the paedophiles? Is everybody having... Is it like Urichai's and orcs and Lord the Rings? It's like they're two different breeds. There's internal struggles between...

Don't talk to him. He's a rapist. He's not a paedophile like us. Maybe. Maybe there's bloods and those crips. And there's pedos and there's rapists. But again, this is not a two-parter on the... On Miracle Village. tempting though.

It is very tempting. And what I would like to say is that mayor of Miracle Village is perhaps the best euphemism for being a paed as well I can think of. If you know what I mean. If you know what I mean. That man's applied to be mayor of Miracle Village if you apply what I mean.

Yeah. My chemistry teacher was mayor of Miracle Village for a couple years. You know what I mean. Anyway, now this is the history of medicine. This is part two. And we,

in our last episode, comprehensively dealt with crocodile dung as a cure for people wanting to fuck you. It was about 4,000 years of medical history. It was berries. then it was crocodile shit then they started cutting pigs open and everyone got a cold

everyone got a cold because they were riding camels now let's deep dive into the Victorian practice of philology slow down slow down okay

you're whizzing through history centuries are now just pull it back yeah just out of light speed yeah into 30 degrees we can see the planet literally you every

every long history it's just light speed through the age more. Yeah. And literally, just as the 1800s arrive,

here we go. Lovely. I look down, I see the planet of phrenologists. Lovely. I know I am. My home planet

with its moon of scientific racism. You hear the click of calipers being adjusted. I'm home. So phrenology is developed by France. Franz Joseph Gaul in the early 80s.

The gall. The gall of this, which we treat his theories now. As we've said, many times this is about bumps and hollows on the skull. These reflect the size of the different brain organs. The brain, as we now understand it, or people alleged to understand it, is one thing. But at this point, it consists of 30 mental organs.

Gaul includes mirthfulness, secretiveness, or philoprogenitiveness, which is love of children, and amativeness, which is sexual desire. Philoprogenitivus. Yes, that's a love of children, It's not sexual, but if you're a massive button is too close to your philiprogenitive button. This is where you get the pido button. You get mayor of Miracle Village stuff.

Or the same button. Because that's the problem with the fact that pedophilia has meant that there's normal love for children has become completely. What's the word for that? Yeah. Platonic. Do you know what I mean? They should have changed it. It should have been like child lust. It shouldn't be children love. Yeah. Because this is why I think, because

since the 70s, now you can't be polite to a child. Get away from me. Exactly. You can't. Nate, it's so much harder to raise children when your neighbours, you're like, I don't know, I know, but just, fucking hang out with them. Just do you play in a bit of them with them, but not in a seductive way.

Genuinely, that's a bit of an issue, though. I do think it's a bit of, I wonder what, where culturally we need to go back to a place where, I mean, I don't think we help the issue, talking, spending 40% of every episode making a ton of paedophiles. Yes, yeah, that's true. But I do think they need to be made fun of.

They need to be, they need to be. Yeah, I'm not saying give them an easy ride. No, but it is, I imagine back, it feels like back in the 50s, 60s, you could be, you could pick out of someone else's kid and chuck them in the air

and it was brilliant. Yes, exactly. It was a bit of fun. Yeah. But now it's like, every time I'm near kids. If you're a woman, you can do that. Well, back in the 50s, maybe,

little rug rats, fucking. Blokes can't do that now to other people's kids. Not now. I was saying that. Yeah, but in the 50s, but women still can do that now. Right.

My point is. Right. I guess with female paedophiles, you've heard, them but you don't believe them. No. It's a, it's a unicorn, right?

It's a fantasy thing. They don't have the balls. I mean, yeah, you need balls to be a paed father, I think. But no, I agree in that we are so culturally obsessed in Britain particularly

with paedophilia that it has meant that the male love of just playing with kids that aren't yours is, you know, you have to hide that. I think that shouldn't be a shocking thing to say,

but you're saying that immediately. I love, I love playing with other people's kids. I do, and I'm good at it. And then they go home and I put my kids to bed. Yeah. You know? But you find a lot of joy, you know, playing with a, you know,

meet another kids. Hey what? And you go and bash one out in the car. No, I don't then go and bash one out in the car. What you know, in GTA when you have sex in the car and it's all bouncing. But that's just me. It's me up and put my kids to bed. a wanking low rider

yeah no um no but there is there is nothing better than like you're the horsey you're on all fours and there's like

10 kids just attacking you or like chucking kids in a pool but you know what I mean this is it you can't you know it's true it now takes a brave man to be able to admit this

but I'm a father all right you're doing it you don't even have kids so you are you are a Peter far yeah it's true yeah if I said

there's nothing better than having 10 kids crawling all over me. And by where are you getting 10 kids from? You're an uncle. You can't be doing that as an uncle. That's the problem. Uncle is most problematic member of the family, the uncle. Yeah.

The role, I just recently became an uncle again. Yeah. Yeah. So how many, how many nieces and nephews have I got? Oh, three now? Three? Yeah, it's getting creepier.

It is. Yeah, it is. Because there's more people for me to believe. Okay. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

I've put, I swirved us back into Peter Finley. I'm sorry. No, no. on course of planet Phrenologists and yet again, the homing system of this spaceship are set to Pido Planet, Memorial Village.

So, now this is where I wanted to get to. In the Victorian era, companies would hire in-house phrenologists to feel the heads of job applications. This is good.

This is ideal. Why are we not doing this? When we hire editors, why are we not just come on? How big is you a massive sense? Are you going to be too horny to work here? So I guess the latest acquisition of the company is an in-house animator, right?

Yes, we have an in-house animator. So I guess the next stage is an in-house phrenologist, right? That's probably the next person we get in full-time. I think, yeah. Or do you get them freelance? I don't know. Yeah, we are currently working with freelance phonologists. They're very hard to find.

You know, a good one, you just cannot pin down. John Hunter will be explored later in the episode, but he would measure skull shapes. Instead of HR, you should have phrenologists, basically. This company should run, yeah. Any issue that HR is meant to sort out. PHR. Yeah.

PHR department. Yeah. Phrenology department. Yeah. Oh, I'm worried that my boss is speaking to me in a way they're more comfortable with. Well, let's just, let's just, let's just, uh, no, he doesn't. No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't.

So, you're really wrong. And I think you got the making up stuff for attention. Yeah. You've got the whiny, whiny woman button. It's massive. It's just your head. That's what you've got the wine of a woman button. So Hunter would provide a framework to classify.

to classify human variation into racial hierarchies. Good to be on the home planet once again. Solid ground. So, here's where you could ask people to rank races and there would be maybe a second pause and they'd go into it. That's a huge difference now.

Yeah. You can't say, rank your top five favorite races. But then it's like, right. White. Yeah. White's ST, obviously. Obviously. Obviously.

Okay. It's almost not worth. saying. Yeah. European, Esther. In the way that they talk

about like, who's the best people you played with, you can't count messy. People say that loud. Right, exactly.

So then it's actually an interesting real. If it's supposed to messy, obviously, messy obviously. So you go, right, STA white or

European, obviously. And then it starts to get, okay, who's two and three? Yeah. Where are you putting Asiatic and African? Now, in this list,

apes, monkeys and dogs are in. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Well, this is the standard of the time. Right.

So, do you read that list? I'd love to. What a hospital pass this is. So white European, considered. Considered. Considered.

The superior standard. S tier. Number two, I should say this is all in quotes. Asiatic slash indigenous American, you know? Three, African, four monkeys, five dogs. That's how they've done it. Interesting that Asians and Native Americans are in the same thing. And I don't think Muslims or Arabs or Middle Easterns are in there at all.

No, that's, yes, I guess. I guess you just had to sort of crash them together. Or is that just the top five? Hard, hard for the boss men, that. Hard to be number six, below dogs. Relegation zone. Yeah, I've always said that Muslims are an elevator club. They're coming up and down, up and down.

They need some stability. All right then. So that's the racial hierarchies of phrenology, which, you know what? I'd say it's not really a medicine. It's more a science. So I think it's, it's, You wouldn't say people aren't really acting on phrenology as symptoms. It's not really healing, is it?

No, it's more character studies. Psychology. It's early psychology. It's not really medicine in the same way. So why do we talk about it? Sorry? So why do we talk about it? Well, you can't just go straight from Miracle Village to germ theory.

You have got to lead a horse to water through the planet. The woods of phrenology to calm down. Visit BetMDM, Casino, and tell you. Check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMDM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager. Ontario only.

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That's American Friction. Find it wherever you get your podcasts. So, germ theory. You took the scenic route. Sorry? You took the scenic route. Yes. And what scenery it is. Germ theory is probably the biggest, what you'd say, like modern medicine really starts, which is where we suddenly start realizing why people get ill.

Because until then, it's all been about solving problems rather than trying to predict or like prevention. There's no real prevention until the 17th century, maybe even later than that. So Robert Hook peers through a microscope. This is where it stops becoming, medicine stops becoming like a bit more woo-woo. It starts being grounded in empirical evidence and research. Exactly. It sort of starts here. So Robert Hook, English scientist, peers through a microscope at a slice of cork in the year.

1665. He discovers tiny compartments in the cork, which he calls cells. And nine years later, Antoine van Leuvenhuk built microscopes so powerful they could actually see actual cells, right? So he scrapes plaque from his own teeth and discovers swimming bacteria and his own sperm. So he, Brian Johnson, a 17th century Brian Johnson is looking at his own sperm. White guys look at their camera under a microscope. Yeah, it's always white guys, isn't it? Because that's what makes you an S-tier race. okay if you're putting your own jizz under the microscope that's why you're in the top spot but first put your own jiz under the microscope that's the hippo rata goth the white guys yeah but first look at your own just through a microscope then kill old women in the greater manchester area now loyvenhook

was not a scientist right he built microscopes to inspect fabric because he was a cloth merchant okay but when he had dysentery in 1681 where's he put in that diarrhea i think you know where he's put a diarrhea on the fucking microscope and it in the research who has doesn't mention why, it's just made that jump. He's looking at cloth, he's got diarrhoea. Well, obviously, I was going to fucking have a look at what's going on there. Hang on, we'll just put that under there. Let's see what that looks like.

Obviously. Yeah, so he looks at his own diarrhea under microscope and he sees, what does he see, smiling animals or something? Pretty animals are moving. Animal cues up moving the prettiest. Now, in 1854, in London, there was a deadly outbreak of cholera, which kills hundreds. Now, dogs at the time think the disease is spread.

through poisonous bad air because it's all about bad air. Oh, London fucking stinks at the minute. It does stink. This is the height of Industrial Revolution. Miasmas. Now, Snow maps every cholera death and notices that it's not that John Snow who allegedly could have shot Eidamine. It's not him.

John Snow at complete ease with becoming farther again in the 70s. That's nice. John's an absolute shagher. Yeah, of course. Of course, yes. So in 1854, John Snow maps every death in the choleric hour. outbreak and notices that all the victims have collected drinking water from a street from a pump on Broad Street so he removes the pump and he stops the

outbreak and this proves that he's basically the father of modern epidemiology because he realizes that it's not the air it's coming from water around the same time in London they think that tobacco is is like a life-saving medicine so what they have they is by the Thames by drowning spots they have tobacco like bellows and pipes and they're placed at drowning sites so bystanders could administer smoke enemers before medical help could arrive.

So in the way that now like every village hall has to have a defibrator, they would have tobacco and bellows to basically get a drowning victim out of the river and then just fucking pump smoke into their ass while they're waiting for a doctor. That's completely inside. As you look at a person out of a guy

which looks like a sort of thermometer, like a filter to just shove it up. someone's ass. I guess, yeah, so the defibrator in TV, in film is one of the most dramatic things, right? Yeah,

that's like when someone's, it's almost overused in film because it's such a dramatic thing. I guess, I feel this is less dramatic. What's what you're talking about? It's even more dramatic. Get the patient on the bed,

turn him over. Boxing his ass to why and wake him up because they think it was a stimulant that could warm the body and restart breathing. Does that have any truth in that whatsoever? Did it ever work? we don't know

we don't know we can't know anyway so germs are beginning to be discovered right in the 1860s the term blowing smoke up someone's ass really

tobacco smoke enema is the origin of that does make sense that makes sense what because you're because you are just like smoking an ass well that's not that's not the saying

you're not smoking an ass that's not what the saying means because it doesn't do anything it means you're feeding someone's ego doesn't blowing smoke up your heart is that what it means? Yeah it's like you stop blowing smoke on my ass

Right Which I imagine they might have said back then But it would have been Can you get me a doctor and stop blowing smoke on my house But that implies they're doing like Oh you're so good at it You're the best man It's more like oh you're healthy

You're going to live you don't need a doctor Can you stop playing smoke on my arm Yeah And get me a doctor so Louis Pasteur proves that microorganisms caused disease in the 1860s Pasteurized

It's from him Pasteurized milk Does he invent pasteurizing milk then The idea of pasteurizing something Yeah, fine Is his three of his five children Had died from infectious diseases So he gets into

Fucking, I don't know Saving, not fucking them Saving kids Get them to fucking He's not No Louis Paster Would not live in a local village. Okay. Now, this is,

this is hilarious. I love this part. In the 1840s, right, Hungarian doctor Ignaz Semmelweis has a proposition. He thinks that doctors, right, should wash their hands before treating patients. Yeah, he's homosexual. Yes, he's a gay man, should be said. This is an insane idea.

So what was happening in Vienna where he was working was that doctors were going straight from performing autopsies to delivering babies. without washing their hands or wearing gloves. So he noticed that a peculiar amount of women in childbirth were dying when the child was delivered by a doctor

rather than the midwife. So he was like, once you've started, stopped like shoving your hand in that dead corpse, why don't you wash your hands with soap before you do... He's wiping the dead guy's arse and going to go, what's going on in a nail up then? You know, and so he orders the staff

to wash with chlorinated lime which reduces deaths from 18% to less than 2% almost immediately. Wow. However, he is then committed to a mental asylum in 1865 after years of professional rejection and declining mental health. So he's like the Van Gogh sort of...

Kind of. So the whole idea of handwashing is at the time, thinking, well, this guy's an absolute crank. Yeah. So, let's get into some early surgery. Obviously, we talked about barber surgeons in the last episode.

Now, as a man, called, is it a man? It must be a man. Ambrose Parre, who transformed surgery. Because, now, to be fair, I don't want to give him that much credit because the surgery before this, it's not currently Ambrose, before this surgery was insane. So I'm just going to read out this sentence and you can judge how much of a genius this guy is. During a battle in 1537, he ran out of boiling oil, which was the standard treatment for gunshot wounds. so he instead mixes egg yolk, rose oil and turpentine into a soothing ointment instead.

Genius. Expecting his patients to die, he was amazed to find they were calmer and recovered better than those that had been burned with boiling oil. When he's expected them to die. He's like, fucking, I haven't got any boiling oil. Right.

I'm gonna crack an egg on them and they'll obviously die. Yeah. I mean, why, what was the thought that boiling oil would help gunshot wounds? Yeah. What is the thought? I guess it's just like, this is completely this is a mess.

This is such a mess. It might as well... It can't be worse. It's like littering in like a tip. Yeah. It's like it's already a fucking tip. Just kind of clamp them with the worst thing ever and they'll forget about the first thing.

Oh, so distraction technique. Right, so they broke their left leg to distract and break their right leg. Yeah. They come to the doctor, oh, I feel really sad. Punching in the face. Yeah.

What was that for? Well, you don't feel depressing anymore, do you? I suppose it kind of, it sort of stops the wound from seeping because it's just now... Cautrization. I guess it dries it up. Now, this guy, again, is he a genius or not?

Later in his career, he was trying to treat complex bone fractures. So what he would do, and this again, trial and error, he would take two newborn puppies, drown them in oil, boil them, mix them with earthworms, pickled in white wine, blend into a thick paste. Right. I don't know, what would he then do with that paste? Spread it on top of the bones. Was that good? What's it called when you'd put that on the woman's vagina and fuck it?

what'd you call that? What'd you call that then? What'd you call that? Because I want to do that tonight. Yeah, that's a great question in this seminar. What would you call? Sir? Right, there is no established common slang term for this concept,

and puppy paste is not recognized medical product. Okay. Now, back to the Hunter Brothers. These guys are the most influential surgeons of the 18th century. They transform the study of anatomy. They amassed this collection of over 13,000 specimens. including the Irish giant Charles Byrne. How big was Charles Byrne?

Do we know? Burn had to be buried. No, he begged to be buried at sea to prevent his body being dissected, but they bribe the undertakers to steal the corpse because he was such a freak. They wanted to chop him up. I mean, that's pretty brutal.

Isn't it? Begging, please don't do weird shit in my body. That's the one thing up. Yeah, all right, right, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. So he's, he found the... Seven, yeah, fair enough, mate.

We're going to have to check out what's going on there. Yeah, come on. Get him up. Get him up. Get Charles Burn up. Charlie. You're a freak. 7 foot 7 in 1840. So he found the Hunterian Museum, is it?

Which has got all the, whoa, there it is. There's a skeleton. Fucking hell. He did not want this. That is funny. That he's just frozen like that. Livid.

Yeah. What is it, Charlie? It's really hard for really tall guys, apparently. Because obviously you think of tiny guys as insecure, but actually really tall ones are insecure too. I think six five.

I think six five. is top end of being like... My best mate is stupidly tall. And he does hate it. Yeah. I mean, whatever, but yeah. You fucking idiot. No.

What are you done, you fucking moron? But yeah, he does struggle with it. How tall is he? Maybe he's 6.5 or 6.6? Yeah. 6.5, I think, is on the top end of the kind of the dream female ideal. And then above 6.5, it starts getting into stupid freak. It's more like when you get so tall that you can't walk normally.

normally. You know, when you're like, you're doing the chaplain walk. You walk slowly a bit. Yeah. And it's like, oh, it's like when an elephant walks past you and it's just time seems to move slower. Yeah. But that's what that would feel like for us, if we go to China, that's what it feels like. Yeah. I remember when I was 15 and I must take photos with you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can't believe it. Yeah. You're a tourist attraction. You please leave me alone. I'm not the Irish giant. I don't want this. I want to be buried at sea. Where is that? Sorry. Where's the, Sorry, where's the... Humbertian Museum. Where is that? Here we go. Right. So this is a special interest of a research, by the way.

Photos of all of stuff up. What are we looking at? These pickled dicks, are they? Assorted penises. Assorted penises from different animals. Picket. Piquet. Human?

They're all human. So this is like assorted. Bombay mix. Dicken mix. How, how zoomed in is this photo? No, it's like sort of to size. Is this on a microscope? No.

They just, yeah. These these These are your tiny dick, man These dicks are enormous Molly You should have put your hand in for scale Yeah Because I'm at sit Now is that a fanny

Human penis with gonorrhea But why is it split in half Well em doll got there They're definitely swollen So yeah they're surely swollen Surely Hunter also experimented on himself Deliberately exposing himself

To STIs Wow Oh these are babies in Babies and jars But see they look at normal size Molly What's going on with the dicks? Why the baby is the same size of the dicks? Why is every man's dick in the 17th century the same size as a modern baby? Yeah. Because that's now making me feel like I've got

a micro penis and I can't, I can't do the rest of the podcast. Is there a miracle village for men like me with micro penises? Small miracle village. It's a sort of thing that Rebecca Goodwin's putting in a fanny. Right? The 17th century baby. Well, yeah, the fetches stuff where you put a tentacle in that lays an egg inside you and that's for doesn't like a child is so offhand Is there any bums?

Yeah, this is a buntleth That's a butt hole That's the inside of a bum Wait Get it up So it has Has the doctor bit With a knife and fork of that arsehole

So they're hemorrhoids Oh And that's a tear I'm looking in a mirror Wow, those are big hemorrhoids That's kind of like Napoleon and Waterloo hemorrhoids So you're wondering what sort of women

are employed at Fambourouski. It's the people who enjoy looking at torn up arseys. Molly passed her phonology exam. Okay? She passed it with flying colours. Yeah? On the weekend, she's going to look at dicks in jars. Yeah.

Yeah. On the weekend. Yeah. And that was not in the company account. No, God. Anyway, so now there's a man called Joseph Lister, who's kind of the surgical goat. Right.

In the, he basically brings in this hand-washed thing and infection brings it into surgery and drastically reduces patient death. So he starts applying phenol, which the Muslim who ball or the piss had discovered, to wounds and the operating theatre itself, which cleans it. Survival rates improve. This is where Listerine is named after him because he invents some kind of antiseptic. Then there's another guy called Robert Listern. This is one of my favourite stories.

He was famous as the fastest surgeon in Britain. Right, which is not a thing that you really, it's not a compliment. Right. The faster surgeon in the way, it's surgery. Yeah, like you to just. Like he's a gunslinger. Yeah, I'd like you to take your time, actually. So, but however, that said, before anesthetic, speed is kind of life and death, how quick you are.

So supposedly. It's like a Formula One team, right? Yes. He could reportedly amputate a leg in under three minutes. Okay. Right, pit stop, leg off. His most famous story involves an operation said to have achieved a 300% mortality rate. did you read this?

One operation. Yeah, yeah. Because what happens? So he's amputating a patient's leg so quickly that he accidentally cuts off his assistant's fingers and slashes the coat of an elderly spectator. The patient and the assistant die from infection while the spectator has a harsh attack and dies. One operation, three dead. I mean, that's awesome.

That's brilliant. That's absolutely brilliant. That's like if you had, Charlie, if you had to do surgery. tomorrow, you would end up killing everyone in the room. But you're also trying to beat the world record for speed. Why is speed so important there? Like it's a chess and you're doing it.

Also, there's no machinery there, is there? He does all that with a knife. Yeah, I guess speed. If it's just speed, then I think I could do it. Do you know what I mean? Oh, totally. If it's amputation at speed, then I'd have an axe and I'd just...

Yeah, just... No, but you'd bash it. What they would do is they'd like, they'd have different, they'd have a knife to gut through flesh, they'd have a bone sore, and they'd like, you know, sorterize it. But you'd just go like,

it's a massive hammer. Just, but what obviously happened was that his assistant was like holding a leg and he just sliced his fingers off. And then that guy died from infection. Yeah. And then the patient died

and then the guy that got blood on him or his coat got cut, he had a half attack. I'd love to watch that GIF. That's a great seven seconds. And the guy at the back was collapsing. That's a meme. That's pretty perfect.

So this is all. before an aesthetic but anaesthesia is sort of invented in the kind of mid-19th century a dentist publicly demonstrates anesthesia in Massachusetts in America they removed a tumor from a patient's neck while he lay quietly

and then he awoke feeling no pain now in Edinburgh they basically there are these blokes I discovered this on the I did the open top bus tour at the fringe best thing I saw actually to be honest there was all these fucking scientists and doctors who would just go into rooms

and just like sniff chemicals combinations to see what would happen. And they accidentally discover chloroform. Right. And they just all knock themselves out and they come going, fucking hell, that's good stuff. That's good stuff.

It's good gear. And then they also discover nitrous oxide or maybe that's an English chemist. Yeah, so Victorians start having laughing gas. Yeah. Victorians are doing... Nangs. You'd call them nangs, when you?

Yeah. They're doing nangs. Whip it. So have you ever done laughing gas? Yes. In my, yeah, first year of uni, It was all the rage. You were a fan of laughing gas.

The Whippy Cream can't discuss well. Yeah, I mean, yeah, they really, they kind of go with everything. Do you know what I mean? It's like... You feel like you've found a huge truth quite often. When you're doing it, it's like, I've solved it all.

I just just black out. But it's amazing because you have that experience, but it's over such a short period of time, which is kind of like the perfect drug. Yeah. Which means you can basically... You can basically have an ayahuasca trip that lasts like 30 seconds.

And then you're back in the room. Yeah. Because I'd had the most insane trip I've ever had where I thought I thought I'd watched my entire life. and I remember thinking, who the fuck's this guy? And then I slowly became me. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no. And then I'm me again.

And I was gone for a minute. And I genuinely felt like I was, I'd watch my entire life for 10 years. And that was from one. And you were shouting out from the sidelines going, no, don't do that. No, I'll just watch it. I was like, who the fuck's this guy?

And then I was him. I couldn't believe I was me. That's devastating. I couldn't believe I was me. Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune. Pick. BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager.

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Every Monday and Friday we analyse the biggest news characters and mishaps in America. That's American Friction. Find it wherever you get your podcasts. So chloroform basically I think becomes popular when Queen Victoria uses it for the birth of one of her children, Prince Leopold. Yeah. And so chloroform becomes used widely, although it is quite dangerous because even a slightly excessive dose can stop the heart instantly. So when does it start getting used by kind of cartoon? molesters, is it? Yeah.

I don't know. I guess around this time. In tintin, they use it a lot, I think. In tintin? Yes. I don't know if they do use chloroformin. Do they all? That seems a bit rapy for tintin.

I don't know. Look at his hair. Little quiff. Yeah. Yeah. Guys who look like tintin are raping all over the planet. That one's it. Another hot take from producer Charlie.

Subway takes. Guys. Charlie on Subway takes. Guys look like tintin are raping all over the planet. I'd love to see him be like, Fuck. Okay, maybe we'll get a different guy. No, I take it back.

Oh, you're right. Chloriform features in the Adventures of Tintin. It's used by the antagonists across 23 published adventures. Yeah. Anything that you could have seen between the ages of four and ten, Charlie does have pretty good recall on.

But that's his only base for reference. Well, he fell off a horse, age 11. That's why he's like this now. Now, the story of vaccination is quite interesting because there's a story of a guy called, what's he called? Onezimus. Right.

Is that his name? Or Onisimus? Who's an enslaved African American. He tells his owner, in the parlance at the time, who was a man named Cotton, mate. I mean, that's tough of you. If your owner's named the thing that you're meant to pick. In Africa, people protect themselves from smallpox

by placing material from an infected person's sore into a small cut on a healthy person. This was an African practice. And then because they start, they realize that, is it they put, how does it get to vac, I know that it's to do with cows, cowpox. They then use cowpox sore on someone else and then they realize that that's inoculated someone from cowpox.

This is milkmaids who catch cowpox from milking cows, I guess. Anyway, the Latin word for cow is vaxa, which is why vaccinations are called that. that. Really? That's quite interesting. But yeah, so there's evidence that I guess in Africa, pre-Western Contact, they were doing vaccines before.

Yeah. How do you work that out, though? It's got me a mistake to work that out, though, giving the person the thing to help them. Yeah, but I guess, you know, it's somewhere in between crocodile shit and cutting a pig's neck open, so now vaccines are Bill Gates using them so to sterilise us and mind control, isn't it?

Yeah, I think so. I think that's a very advanced to 70th century Africa. Yeah, that's kind of where it is now. What's happened with the anti-vax stuff? Is it like, because have they been proven? What do they think about what's happened? They've been quite quiet for a while. Yeah, because are we meant to all be like...

Although everyone is autistic now. It's true. So, so maybe they have a point. Yeah. And everyone started saying they're autistic after the vaccines. Yeah. How many vaccines do you get, Charlie? 15?

I don't know. As many as I could get, I think. Yeah. I don't want any of it. I mean, I want it all. I don't want any of it. I mean, you just like... But you like everything.

So vaccine is just like... You'll eat anything. You'll also... Yeah, I'll have it. Because what we're talking we're doing about this. Oh, right. You're very squeamish. It's strange that, isn't it?

Very squeamish. In the abstract. Yeah. And we're talking about that 300% mortality surgery, you literally flew backwards and disappeared. But in the material world, you're very unscreamish. Yeah. famously the things you get up to

you go to porn cinemas and a light out you don't like things being chopped up but you don't mind poo and shit at this porn cinema they just telly on yeah but then you but you don't mind you're not scroo you love poo and vomiting and pink socks by the way by the way the owner of that club listens to this pod he gave me free entry for that club

what the porn cinema yes right the club that guy listens to this pod yeah he's a nice guy oh really so we can all we could all get free entry we could yeah maybe we can all go to porn cinema It's a bit rich,

but I mean, normally we're getting upgraded at the sumo or the IMAs. I mean, the porn cinema is a bit, you know, I don't really know what I think about it.

Yeah, exactly. Taking you up on his offer. Um, could have a staff light out, Molly. Yeah, we could have a staff light out to the porn cinema.

Yeah. Molly will bring the little 200 year old assholes. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so, uh, obviously in the 19th century cocaine

is a miracle drug because, I mean, Fairfax. They'd prescribe it for toothaches and depression and asthma. And you're like, well, yeah. Sigmund Freud's like, this is fucking brilliant.

Yeah. Then he also thinks that you want to fuck your mum because she didn't let you poo your pants when you were a kid. Yeah, you know. As we've just said, cigarettes were, they thought cigarettes were of medicinal benefit.

In the 40s and 50s, some advertisements suggested cigarettes helped expectant mothers stay calm or gain too much weight during pregnancy. So, you know, times have changed. Yeah. Now, penicillin is obviously discovered in the 20s by a Scottish man.

With a mouldy sandwich. Alexander Fleming, exactly. He eats some Scottish dinner and he's like, there's something wrong with this. But we are racing ahead because we must get to one of the four horsemen of the medical apocalypse, one of the messers, the heretics, you know, the trio, the Mount Rushmore of doctors, Dr Joseph Mengele, friend of the pod. Now, he's a German...

Son of Apocrates. Sorry? He's a son of Apocrates. Disciple of Apocrates. German SS officer. nicknamed the angel of death he would conduct human experiments on the angel

angel that man is an angel brackets of death that is an angel he wouldn't hurt a fly Joseph Joseph Mengley angel

I don't believe a word of it absolute angel angel that man angelic you know when he died I said he's got his wings now yes

yeah heaven has another angel there's another star in the sky now that Mengelais is up there like a candle in the wind. Now, Mengele had served

on the Eastern Front as a doctor. He was injured and then in May in 1948. Thank for your service. Thank you for your service. Sorry, doctor. Can I just thank you for your service, please? Dr. Joseph Mengele arrived

at Auschwitz in May 1943. He is a war hero. Just like, just, you know, just not to Kay Burley ourselves. He's a war hero. He's a war hero. He is.

He is. He is. I also do it just for ads. so you can't really be called out. He's a war hero. Cutter ads. It is awesome. It's not ads though.

It's a BBC. Yeah, it's just the end of the program. End of the program. Yeah. Well, he is. No, he is. No, he is. Well, you know, he is.

He is. I know, there's not a fashionable to say anymore, but he is a war hero. Joe's a Wengla is a war hero, isn't he? It is. So what he does in his retirement from the Eastern Front, which he'd served well on, you know, tank of your service. He is, he sort of started.

to conduct human experiments in Auschwitz because he had studied. Now he had a PhD in racial science maybe or genetics which again is not a PhD that university is offer now. No. I'm a doctor. David Beckham studies that's being offered. Are you joking? That was the that's used as the big kicking football of like how we're all overeducated. There's David Beckham studies. So this is this is all about Blair made us all go to universities and now it's been rolled back because yeah I thought it was people in Southampton studies. They were refers to a heavily cessation. socialise 12-week academic module introduced by Staffordshire University. It's not a full degree. Right. But in Southampton, you can study comedy.

Yeah, I mean, there's lots of places you can study comedy. I know, but it's ridiculous. But it's not as ridiculous as David Beckham studies. Yeah. His doctoral dissertation was titled Racial Morphological Research on the Lower Jore in four racial groups. So he's an expert on jaw structure by race. I mean, I guess you've got to choose where you do your dissertation. You specialize. Yeah. because of the wide open field well it's a big face what part of it are you going to focus on

what do you think you would write your dissertation on I'd probably say phrenology in a diverse society right okay and how you implement it the case for phonology oh the case

the case for phonology in Britain in 2036 right right you want to see actual results in the world that you live in yeah is there potentially quite a lot

too David Beckham studies in terms of kind of you know there's a lot he did a lot well from a sociological perspective he does do a lot for fashion fashion and for men's health well kind of masculinity

you know he's a one man soldier it's just like he was really good at footballs yeah I don't think it's that I mean Staffordshire is they are fucking they are fucking thick of that unit I've done Staffordshire uni as a gig and it's yeah they're thick as mince up there they should be

apprenticeships you should not be doing you need to go to the farming college Harper. Plumpton. What's it called? Harper Adams? There's one place in the whole UK you can study trees.

I met a guy called Mosh. We're talking about this. We've got a degree in trees from a university. There's only one. And there's no formal definition of a tree. It's just what looks like a tree. If it looks like a tree, it's probably a tree.

That's the definition of a tree. There's no legal... What about a drama student who's pretending to be a tree? That is not a tree. There's no legal definition. Just to find a tree then. What?

Just to find a tree. No, you didn't. No. A tree is anything It looks like a tree As long as it's not a drama student Pretend to be a tree Well

His head's broken If you all think it If we all think it Then yeah Whatever If we all think it Then yeah He's still recovering

From any fucking Pored Tadadad His fucking lungs Back to Frand of the pod Dr Joseph Bengali He uh His experiments He starts to do experiments

In Auschwitz Berkernau Yeah It's not a crime Well actually It's a crime I didn't You've finished Yeah you finished

I was trying to say who's doing experiments and I said it's not a crime to do experiments but then you did say the Birkenau bit as I was saying that so I don't know it probably is a crime well listen in Nazi Germany it's not no at the time he's operating he is not committing a crime you know

all of this was deemed a crime in retrospect yeah it's easy with hindsight it is easy with hindsight at the time they were going I'm just I'm just experimenting it was a different time it was a different time okay he's a product of his time Dr Joseph Mangalee so he was trying to you know

Bear in mind he's an expert. He's got a PhD in lower jaw structures across four different racial groups. Charlie, is the PhD available to read online for our listeners who want to do any further reading to the podcast? Can they read Dr. Joseph Mengele's dissertation? Now, what he would do is he would

he would stand at the sort of junction of Auschwitz Bergenau, Bergenau. Bergenau. And he would, you got off the train. He would basically be going, he'd be like tindering you as to which whether you were worthy enough of his experiments.

So who goes to the labour, who goes straight to the gas chambers or who is a dwarf or a giant or a twin and he's like, you'd come and see me and you actually, if you're a dwarf or a giant or a twin, you get fed quite well. Because he's like, I want to keep you in some kind of shape that I can experiment on you.

Yeah, I mean it's hard to be worse than going to Auschwitz, I guess. Hey? if it's between two options it's hard to be much worse than Auschwitz. I'd say that if you're a twin in Auschwitz, you're a big fish in a small pond. Okay.

You don't want to be in the pond, but relative to the rest of the point you'd like, this is fucking... Fucking, I'm getting double help. I'm getting double help, exactly. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

So what he would do is he'd starve one twin and keep one healthy just as an experiment, you know? Okay. Is it any different to Egyptians rubbing crocodile shards in their families? Right. But then, so I guess

these sort of experiments, he's doing genuine medical experiments, but using the lack of empathy for Jews as test dummies, right? Yes. What he's trying to actually learn is not problematic, right? In some cases. He's trying to advance genetic theory through his prism, which in hindsight, we can say was corrupted of Nazi racial hierarchy. But again, you know, if aliens came down at this point,

the woke-lipped one with a blue... would be like, oh, I'm not buying that cosmetics because that was tested on Jews. That's what they would say. Yeah. Right. He would lock young children in cages to study human reactions to extreme trauma.

Now that is, this is when it starts feeling less scientific. Well, how do we now know about childhood trauma? Right. So you're standing on the shoulders. And you go, and then you go like this.

Hmm. Hmm. But we are, you know, nowadays, nowadays, we know, quite a lot about childhood trauma. Thanks to Dr. Joseph Mengele. Okay?

He would, you know, I want to know about eye colour in children's eyes. Oh, there's a study by Dr. Joseph Magelay. Brilliant. Well, thanks again, I guess. What do you do? He would inject chemicals

and blue dye directly into children's eyes to try and change their eye colour to what he would consider the perfect colour, which was Aryan blue. I can't airy and blue paint du likes car charlie Arian blue. Can you get Arian blue in here please?

He would intentionally infect some... Did it work? Sorry? Did he work? It's not about whether it worked It's about the journey of discovery. Right. He would intentionally infect prisoners

with fatal illnesses such as a gangrenous facial disease just to watch the progress of how the disease you know, it went along. He is nothing if not curious. He's a curious man.

Is it a crime to be curious? And also it's something that's thrown at racists is that they lack curiosity. This guy is fucking curious racist. The curious racist is an interesting combination. I've drawn that tarot card several times. The curious racists.

And the image is just this. It's not go home. It's not this ignorant shut off. It's your mind's open. What's over there? I don't like you, but I want to look at it. Now, I don't think we'll get into Menglai's happy ending because we'll save...

Maybe another episode? We'll be a series on the good Dr. Joseph Mengalai. But he, we can't... He's up there with Harold Chippman right now, looking down on us. We can't... Definitely looking down. You know the end of Star Wars where there's the spirits, all the people, the Yorks or a dance? That's Joseph Mengley looking like this, Howard Chippman.

Mufasser in the sky. Lucy Letby, though... You're done all right, kid. It's me and you just standing there. No, no history of medicine will be complete without pulling into the station of good Dr. Joseph Mangley. Let's go into something less controversial. An angel.

An angel. Let's move on to... Let's move on to more contentious ground, which is AIDS. AIDS. AIDS. Yeah. Now, AIDS was invented by gay men for attention in the 1980s.

And would you say in sort of shock humor, AIDS is in the Mount Rushmore of punchlines. Totally, yeah. In the Fred again buttonboard of edgy humor. Yes. AIDS, Holocaust. AIDS is quite worn down. Gay, retard.

It's sort of. Yeah. AIDS, retard. Holocaust. Yeah. You probably, yeah, that probably is the perfect joke. Yeah.

The perfect joke. Part of it is AIDS is a funny. AIDS. For some reason, it just hits. AIDS is funny than HIV. Yes. Yeah. I don't think it's been funny for fucking ages.

Well, that's because it's not a death sentence anymore. That's because you're a woke Clibetard, child. Yeah. That's because you're a retard with AIDS. Fondiphammed. I mean, that is what New York comics do. That is what New York comics do. Is there, of course, someone a retarded age.

That's what they do. That's what they do. That's because you're retarded. You got absolutely done that, John. You completely walk into work tomorrow. You completely walked into that one. Oh. Fucking, what is this podcast?

Are we on guilt, Tony? Anyway. God. That was fucking, it was quick. I'm on tour. I'm on tour. If you want more of that, I am on tour.

If you live in a shit town, you want me just call your route over there. I mean, that's how long? That's a lot. That's 20 years of comedy pretty much. That's a lot of experience. Look, I'm at the top of the pyramid now. just me and Mickey

Fallingan calling you retort with AIDS you only get to that level you only get to that level up for 20 years of eating shit Oh that's good That is good Yeah AIDS

If you can't have to get out of the kitchen Charlie Now AIDS is You'd say He's devastated It's no come back to that But this is why It's such a, it's on the soundboard, you know.

It's, it's K-O. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. You know, you say it's not funny, but it's like, it's the classic. It's paying homage to the classics. Fucking first round knockout. Yeah, you know. His old money edge. Tap out, right?

Now, AIDS is, uh, is discovered in the 80s with these rare kind of, uh, we talked about AIDS in the Thatcher series, didn't we? These sort of rare cases of like what seemed like cancer in, uh, young men. And this is, you'd say, you'd say there would be like three major pandemics that have cut through and affected people in the last 50 years. That would be AIDS-abola COVID. Yes. Very different.

You know, no one has long Ebola. No, it's quite short. Quite short. The best thing about Ebola is it is quite short. Yeah. You know, there's not forums of people complaining that no one believe they have long Ebola. Here for a bad time, not a long time. Yeah.

There's no one wearing lanyards saying I actually do have longabola yeah, my leg fell off, yeah, and my flesh is rotting and actually it made a lot of sense when I got that diagnosis. No one believed me. Though if you were going to make up a chronic illness

and you refuse to get out of bed, you being a bed, no, I do have longer bola. I do actually have longabola, actually. So now the reason, Charlie, the actual reason that AIDS isn't funny anymore is because is it that early?

Is it 996? So really the AIDS crisis, you'd say, kind of lasts 15 years, max. But it's defined to the 80s, I'd say. Yeah,

deeply. They completely, they, so a combination of anti-retroviral therapy transforms HIV from basically instant death, instant, certain death,

into a kind of condition that you can essentially manage. Into a laugh, basically. Well, now. Into a good time. Yeah, yeah. Bussman's all the day. But then,

When did Diana suck off the guy with AIDS? When was that very moving moment? But if you were fair, that is why she crashed the car. Because AIDS does make you unable to drive. Is that the link you're going to... That gay guy killed Diana. Because she's like the mother off when she crashed the car. It's got it.

Yeah. Now, there's obviously... There is still some lingering bitterness in that it took 15 years. for this AIDS sort of cure to be found when in COVID, it was less than a year when vaccines were being put in arms, was it? How long did it take? But then, you know, first you've got to think about...

But I don't think that's a completely fair comparison. No, it's not, because it stopped the entire... Aides didn't stop global trade. It maybe stopped the West End for a bit. Yeah. But it didn't stop global shipping. I don't think that you can compare them. But also, obviously, in the 80s...

Yes, there's definitely... There's definitely homophobia and racism involved, and it impacted gay and black people, and Reagan, etc. didn't care. Your words. But,

you know, but given now we're in a state where what we did with COVID was so quick, it's almost like, I feel like COVID has, we're on the dawn of this insane time where we can, I think can,

you know, like a new disease we found and we can probably, if we want to, cure it very, very quickly. So why do we, Cancer, could we not do that? Yes, because COVID, the vaccines for cancer, the MRI ones, my understanding is that

technology was only theoretical and then COVID started using it widely and that is how the gene therapy stuff is how they're going to cure cancer. Right. I mean, the big conspiracy right is that they've already cured it, but they make so much money out of cancer patients. Right. That's the big, big pharma conspiracy. Well, yeah, but in America they do.

In Britain, we don't because they're just, you know, more people who don't work. Yeah. Did the AIDS vaccine cause any deaths? Because wasn't there one, weren't there a few vaccines that resulted in further illness? Was it, was it like rock solid? I don't know if the,

I mean, it's not a vaccine phrase. It's a, it's a retroviral. So it's a tablet that basically stops getting worse, I think. Now you can have,

like, completely normal time. Yeah, as long as you take your tablet, you can. Same tablet as before. I don't, it's not a vaccine.

It's a thing you just take every day. It's very manageable now. It stops HIV from turning into AIDS. You still have the virus, I think. but it stops it starting being the disease. There's no biggie at all. Kind of.

I guess, but that's why it's not as funny. Yeah, that's probably, yeah, because it's no biggie. Yeah. And you're a retop of AIDS. Now, I do want to get to transplants because I remember this. In 2005, the world's first face transplant occurred.

A woman called Isabelle Dinawa, which is ironic because that sounds like French for dinner, and she was French, and a dog basically ate her face for dinner. So her face is a dog's dinner. A dog's dinwar. She's got a face like a dog's dinner. Yeah.

Got a face like a dog's dinner. Oh my God. Is that the... Oh my. No, that's that third one, isn't it? No, is that the... So she's a French woman who a dog... A dog chewed off her lips, nose and chin while she was unconscious because she'd overdosed.

Right. Charlie's head is in his hands. So she took massive doses of immunosuppressants to prevent her immune system. What, that dog just ate it? Can we see what her face looked like after it had been chewed up? So she basically in order to

for her body not to reject the new face she had to take all these immunosuppressants which obviously that makes her quite vulnerable to infection and stuff the family of the donor was blindsided by images

circulated by the media because that's I mean what that's their that's their mum's face is it or who donated their face? On my organ donor card I don't think I want face there. Yeah.

I think it's a bit like having your image rights taken by a hologram. Yeah, because the thing is, you're like, obviously the Ogadona, you're giving you're giving up. But if they're going to use my face and go, I'm a must have a gay retard with this. Hang on a minute. I've been done over there. I'm just looking for whoever.

It's like, you've already got your face. Yeah. You're just wearing my face so you can call yourself. And you call yourself a gay retard. But I'm dead. In France, it's just opt in, opt-out. So I mean it's nose to tail, isn't it, in France? But is it one of those things where you have to actively opt out?

Yeah, you have to tick the box saying, no, I do not want marketing communications. Yeah, French law, organ donation is presumed unless you opt out. So you've got to be on top of your fucking admin? Yeah, yeah, exactly. But I guess... It would, they would fuck me off if you, if one of your, a member of your family dying, then someone's just walking around with their face. Yeah.

That would fuck me off. And they're French. You know what I mean? Nice one, Jazz. I'd bump my mic with you but I can't too far So the family reportedly had no idea That their deceased relative's face Was going to be given to someone else

Yeah I mean that is Yeah No I think they're allowed to be a bit annoyed by that Which kind of brings us on to Brian Johnson Who as we've said Is at the vanguard of what's possible You know It's tough though

Is he still racing erections Yeah With his son She's probably really depressed absolutely fucking gutted. Well, it's not... About the illness. Yeah, the illness, definitely.

No, but it's an illness, there's not... It's not gonna kill him or anything. It's not like degenerative. No, I think it's just something to manage. I mean, diabetes is an autoimmune condition that you just manage, isn't it? But if he's trying to push it to live forever, surely it, like, it's taking some years off.

Definitely. It's not helping him live longer. His tummy's eating itself. Like, I think for someone who's... Their whole thing is basically trying to see how long can you push it? the human body. It's pretty devastating.

Yeah, it probably is. Great myth. Yeah, it is. He is, but he is a sort of mythic figure. But I knew the hubris is coming. I was surprised how early. I also would have liked to punch your hubris.

Yes. Like, like if, eating itself. Yeah. Like what? AIDS. Retardness.

Yeah. Just if he just woke up one day, he's like, I've somehow got AIDS. I'm eating algae. I'm going to bed at 3pm, but I've got AIDS. I'm sorry.

Yeah. So he, I mean, he fucking, I just saw a photo of him wearing sunglasses and an umbrella in the springtime. Yeah, that's like Jimmy Carr on holiday. Yeah. Have you seen the videos of him on holiday? Yeah. Is he wearing the wetsuit?

He wears a full rash vest. Yeah. And then has like a sun hat like that, pure protection. Yeah. So this is him on the beach. Yeah. Fucking hell. I mean, that's Nostradama stuff, isn't it?

Yeah. He looks crazy. Is he got, has he got a, um, a wetsuit fedora on? Yeah. Patrians, run don't walk to your nearest fedora shop and ask for a pizora that you can go swimming in. What's your view on the sun and aging and all that sort of stuff? The what?

The UV, you know, that's the big, because that's probably been the biggest popular shift in anti-aging. No, no, no, no, no. You're in it. You're on Reddit forums. What are you saying? I'm saying it's probably, you don't care.

I'm out in the, I'm out in the apartment out in the garden. Fuck off. I'm not wearing anything. Fuck off. Clark's singing it. I'm Clarking. I've told you this before. Fuck on.

I will look like a terracotta army age 50. I don't care. Fuck off. Right, right. Well, as long as that's the goal. It's not the goal. I just don't care. Yeah.

You know? I didn't take it seriously, but I did see a friend with a pretty bad sun damage and you can start to see it. It does. It can fuck you. You're wearing,

but are you wearing Factor 50 in the winter? I'm not. Come on, guys. It is a lot. Come on. Can I please wash my face? I've got the same way. You've had something in your eye all episode.

You've been blinking all the time up there. it's bad. Well, you guys shouldn't be there, to be honest. You're begging for us to wrap up because you can't see anything because your eyes are clapping. He's begging. He's begging. Guys, that's been the history of medicine. On the patron, we will talk about Harold Shipman and Charlie will get his eyes fixed.

Thank you for joining us. What fun we've had. If you're in America, go to Miracle Village, introduce yourself. Maybe buy a house there. Yeah, get to know your neighbor. Get to know your neighbor. Is getting to know your neighbor if you're knocking on the door. I'm the registered sex offender. Me too.

Come in. Very friendly place, Miracle Village. That's been all of us. That's all of it here. Whatever. See you next week. Bye then.

Bye, bye, bye, bye. Bye, bye, bye, bye.