Fin vs History - Start The Boats ! | Dunkirk Part 4: Miracle

Episode Date: August 14, 2025

It’s the last time this country loved a small boat, as everyone from the Ayatollah to an ex-Titanic officer mucks in to help the boys escape The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened.  For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/fintaylor CHAPTERS: 00:00 BumFurk 05:07 Lorry Porridge Pier 09:31 Hitler’s Ring is Tightening 16:39 Big Mole Evacuation 23:24 Charles Lightoller 28:17 We Shall Fight Them By The Bins 34:58 Maginot Mop Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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I'm joined by Horatio Gould. Hello. And this is the final part, the softly spoken Horatio Gould. This is, hello. This is our fourth part. You're right, Charlie. Yeah, if Churchill sounded like that. Find them on the beaches.

And then, you know, maybe find them on the landing grounds. Yeah, we will never surrender. What was that? No, we won't give up. Sorry? If this island story is to end. Speak up. yeah there's a lot of there's a lot of wet dads actually that I meet that sound a bit like that

like this uh no it's fine they're small coffees small what they're like small they're like small you know fancy coffees there's a real I don't know there's just a real you can sort of track the dad was these kind of like middle class London dads yeah the defeated London dad who's like I'm no I'm this is what a feminist looks like yeah that kind of thing no I work full time and I'm the full time I'm a full time dad and I'm actually it's fine actually yeah it's absolutely fine actually a real man I'm actually a real man looks after they're like this. Yeah.

There's a lot of that. There's lots of toxic masculinity about when actually this is what an ideal amount sounds like. Yeah, I don't even fuck my wife because that's toxic. I just sort of stradma

I just hide in the fridge and wait for her to finish herself off because I'm a real feminist. Anyway, welcome back. This is episode four. The fourth part's rule is pretty sloppy. Save space for toxic masculinity. Yeah.

I think I'm quite openly toxic. I'm fighting toxic masculinity Yes, exactly. We are at Dunkirk. There's 338,000 toxic males on a beach. Bonnie Blues, licking her lips. About to turn it into cum, Kirk. Their male privilege, they're left there on.

And if the feminists were in charge, you know, if it had been Winifred Churchill, she would have gone to let them sink into the sea. Yeah. Let's start the whole thing again. Exactly. They've made a mess. Brilliant.

We can just scissor each other at home. Let's scissor each other at home until this whole thing blows over. We're talking, believe it or not, about Dunkirk. The British love of queuing. Yes, that's all. It builds into it. That's all, it's men cueing.

It's very similar. It's like everyone's like saying, very proud of the kind of stoic waiting to die. Yeah. Same people here, isn't it? It's just, I mean, lined up, waiting to die. The image of this men just waiting patiently.

It's like a post office queue, but you die at the end. And there's still be Brits going, what are they? What places to be? Why don't you think I want to kill it out? Yeah. I want to get a good spot in the afterlife.

Is it Christmas? Is it? Christmas, isn't it? Oh, it's a nightmare. Absolutely nightmare. God, you've thought with Amazon over then. He thought of this. That's an absolute nightmare at Christmas,

supposed to. Can you hurry up? Dying, please. I would like to die, please. There's Nazis two miles away. Can you hurry up? So, we're on a beach in Dunkirk. There's 300,000 British men looking awkward.

Yeah. It's kind of people. Bumferk. Sorry? Dumb Kirk. Bumthirk. Bum fuck. Really scraping it out there.

Really scraping a barrel. It turns out, 300,000 blokes in a beach is not loads happens for four episodes. But it's an amazing, it is an amazingly powerful thing that happens. Start the boats. Start the boats. So 300,000 men are on a beach. Tennant, who's the guy. Not David Tennant.

He's on the 29th of May. Tenets, the homeless pint cans. No, he didn't invent tenants. This is another tenant. This is the third tenets. Not the beer guy, not the Doctor Who. The Christopher Nolan film Tenets, not a biopic. Not Tenant, no, or whatever that's called.

So he's gone back in time to do this in reverse. Right. Whatever the film is about. Couldn't really follow it. The Christopher Nolan, I watched a really shit Christopher Nolan film the other day. Which one? He loves time stuff. The one, it's called like Memory or something, Memori.

Memento? That's one of his best ones Fucking shite That's a good film I didn't understand it at all Well yeah you wouldn't Yeah but you earlier You said I can't see or here

Yeah I'm getting my eyes and ears Was that on air? I don't think he said that on air Yeah Charlie before we started this series Quite flippantly said Yeah I need to I'm testing to see

Because I can't see all here Yeah And we've been working with us For six months now And you just said As a podcast producer You can't see or here So when we ask you

Are we recording on picture and sound You're like I guess so He's basically krill I push two bucks on this point. I push two buttons. I'm going to get

to spec savers and they're getting to that's one of his better ones. No, it's not. I didn't, nothing happens.

It's all filmed backwards. Well, yeah. You would think that because you can't fucking see all here. Basically being produced by Helen fucking Keller.

That's essentially what this podcast is. It's the rest of history if it was hosted by an Nazi apologist and produced by Helen Keller. That's what this show is. Anyway,

Ramsey, I don't know who that is. He puts out a call for small boats to hell Because on the 29th of May, they've realized there's a big mole, big breakwater. They're like, let's line up all the guys on the mole and then we can evacuate them that way. Now, bear in mind that the reason the Luffah can't, aren't, they're meant to be like,

they've been charged with destroying us. Yeah. Us. Yeah, we know it's us. Yeah, no, no. Us, the good guys, the British. Yeah, no. Not the, not the horriblest thinking arts, isn't there?

thousand-year dream right no no not their not they're not they're beautiful fever dream what if imagine not that that's implicit yeah no of course take you can't take things granted there's some terrible people with the terrible opinions out there yeah um imagine imagine the great sliding doors moment this is Cameron Diaz is she in that film no it's uh Gwyneth Paltrow Gwyneth Paltrow very different film I'd like it's got a dido soundtrack I prefer this film what sliding doors but it's of a death train explain so what's the premise what's the sliding doors moment of the death train i guess hitler's on a train and the doors close and those were the doors to get to i mean it's sliding doors he gets into art school isn't it uh but then he

wouldn't be hitler don't look so serious so sad no that's not the slide the sliding doors is this this is hitler's sliding doors but then he wouldn't be hitler gwyneth paltrow through her life style brand goop has suggested that squatting while urinating in the shower can be beneficial for pelvic floor health pelvic floor is a women's issue charlie it's a women's issue covered it's stinky old piss don't have pelvic floor yeah we have cocky ceiling cock sealing um anyway so basically the evacuation of dunc you've had a huge fucking indian and it's you know when you you know it takes you like seven shits to clear it clear it out yes you just keep going back to the toilet yeah you don't know what's going to come out.

It's like me. Sometimes it's just rabbit pellets. After our cricket day out, I had a bump collapse before us. Yeah, exactly. But you have to keep getting different boats to ferry away. Yeah. It's basically 300,000 men were stuck in your tummy.

Yeah. And you had just at different points. Every point. Just small boats, just little trips, chip away the total. Just chipping it down in singles. On the 29th of May, so bear in mind the night before, they've evacuated 17,000. The day before that, 7,000.

They're trying to get 40,000 and 408. But the real key is they realize they can use this, this breakwater and also they start making this um pier out of lorries they get all the lorries they get lorry pier they get lorry pier right they get all their lorries because they got loads of kit and they're just leaving it yeah it's like they're doing dark bikes over the lorry pier yeah it's evil canevaling home that's what they do they build they they get lorries and they deflate all the tires and then they push them into the sea and they put wooden planks on top of them and they realize that you can that's steady enough to walk out which is kind of creative thinking

I mean this is what you'd say brings out the best in British kind of thinking outside the box backed against the wall cornered what are they going to do think outside the box yeah think outside the box with something innovative and boring yes that's British that's British back to the corner I guess that's quite a good idea why don't we do that? Yeah I want to make a peer out of lorries

keep our trail mix in it keeps it fresher yeah yeah thanks that's a good idea yeah why doesn't have a backpack we had a little bum bag that we could take on the wall oh that's a very good idea yeah boring but I'm glad you're thinking of it yeah someone is Brazilians are like, yeah, we'll be shagging, but I'm glad you guys are thinking about that. I'm glad you've found a way of keeping your trail mix dry.

Someone needs to. Nothing worse than soggy trail mix in a 10-hour carnival fuck session. So, bear in mind, Goering has persuaded Hitler that you want... Stop, stop. We have to get through. Bum-firk. That was poor. That was really poor for. Gurning is good, though.

I feel you're judging me because of my past failures. Herman Gurning because he's on man. Yeah, okay, fine.

Bumfirk was bad. Bumfork's bad. Bumfork. You miss every short you don't take. Bumferk. You've already, you'd already said come to come.

That wasn't good either. No. Christ. Listen, Guring has been charged with annihilating the BF by air. But much like cricket, God is on our side.

with the weather, okay, in that it's cloudy and yet flat seas. What's bad about that? Well, no, normally if it's cloudy up top, it's choppy seas. But I'm just saying it's perfect conditions for an evacuation. So why this gets called the miracle... Green and pleasant land, Jerusalem plays, God's on our side. Right. But why it gets called a miracle is that so many things come together to enable this evacuation.

There's a cloud cover, which means the dive bombers can't actually strafe the beach. There's the whole order that Hitler gives to the panzers, which means that it gives, buys us time. There's 7,000 brave boys, some of which are French, weirdly, dying for us. Was French taking their berries off, putting a bowler hats on and pretending they're English, which is really bad. I am English. Yeah, well, actually, a lot of French people get away at Dunkirk, which is, I don't think that's cricket. Would you mean they get on the boats? Yeah, 100,000 of the 338,000 are French.

Really? Yes, which does not get said enough. But it's more like, I think a lot of people who did shout at them to defend your own country. I think so. That's what I'd be shouting because I was there. I said, what the fuck are you doing again on this boat? Well, I'd be waiting on the other side saying, start the boat, and then as soon as a Frenchman comes off, stop the boat.

Right, right. Stop them. Stop them. Close the gate. Sorry, sorry, mate. Back you go. So what they're doing, by the, so there's a line just outside Dunkirk, but at this point on the 29th, Hitler's gone, right, to panzers again. Yeah, Panzas. I got, blob! Gets the panzas going again. So the ring is tightening, not just Hitler's. The ring is tightening around Dunkirk.

What was that, Bainfooler? over the radio I think there's a bit There's some interference I told you Pansas now There's some interference

on the line I come My plumber Are you going through a tunnel? I can't quite hear you What do you Anyway Farsi Hitler's on the charge

And so what the Brits are doing by the way is that they better like leave just all their care all their weapons, all their jeeps, all their tanks. Like, the entire army is in France, and they're just like, right, get all the men, fuck everything else.

But they don't want it to fall into the hands of the Germans. So they basically start pouring porridge into the engines. The jeeps. They pour, like, oats and sand, anything they can find, just like shove some beef in the engine. Just like, make sure that does can't work. So you don't... Would that ruin a car forever?

Well, I don't know, but I guess they're just guessing. They're like, we've got to... What have you got? I've got some porridge in it in. We'll put that in the engine. and see what happens. British bats to the corner.

They're not always going to be good ideas. No, there's the lorry pier work, but this porridge car is really not taking off. Yeah,

someone lobbing marmalade damages at the Panthers. I don't know. Will they stop them? It worked for Paddington Bear. Maybe it'll stop here. I don't know.

So the Germans can't bomb because of the cloudy because it still feels like you've got to be bombing us now once we're... You should be trying everything you can. Listen, there's 300,000 men

on a beach looking up, praying for delivery. and you've got some Nazi bombers. Part of me's like, what do you mean? We'll just give it a go. Put all of your bombs in the 300,000. We're all there.

It's 10 mile beach, but they can't. I mean, as we discovered in the history of flight, you know, this is only 40 years into flying. You know, this is, to place this, right? This is 1940. This is, what, six or seven years after Amelia Earhart, sort of signaled the end of female pilots. Yeah, Air Crash.

Air Crash. Amelia Air Crash. Airport. A media airport, as Charlie calls her. A media airport signalled the turn from female pilots to air stewardesses. And it's just before the pill was invented. Right. Is it?

Yes, the pill was invented in the 60s. Was it? Oh, yes. That was a, okay. Which, as we know, was the death now for the economy. Because the shagging. Or no, because they're now going to work. Women can now work.

Right, right, right, right, right, yeah. Never recovered, really. The economy is yet to recover. I still don't quite understand why women work I just don't get it I still don't understand I don't understand it

I feel once again not saying that I would be a good military commander but I do reckon I could have done a better job I think what we're learning is that actually

we would be very good I reckon just like well they're all there just try to think of something try a bit harder I mean they're thinking of porridge cars and stuff you think outside the box

they're all sat there and they're going to be there for two days they're pouring porridge into cars they're completely out of ideas they're fucked. Even if you just lob

as many bombs as you can over the wall of the beach or whatever. But it must be said there's also like rearguard actions all along the corridor which does not get mentioned in the story because everyone's thinking about the boats

and the imagery of all the little boats coming but no one actually thinks about all the rearguard fighting and the corridor to Dunkirk. Yeah. So the water systems around Dunkirk had all been turned off

so the troops are like looting bars, they're getting drunk obviously they're a beach right. It's like an all inclusive Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a little beach. And again, and again.

Coconut. Swim up bar, you know, all that. So waiting on the beach, they're standing in chest high water in order to access all the little smaller boats that start coming from... Because what they worked out they could do is get the small boats and they could go into the shallow water, pick them up and they take them to the bigger boats a bit further out, which would then take them back to Britain. So this is just constant shuttle running. As you said, ten shits are... While they're waiting, they've got snorkels on armbands. yeah um there's not on the beach and this is what makes you so proud to be british soldiers waited

in orderly cues and warded off impatient troops with guns there's a story about um how one in one of the rearguard actions uh near the dunkirk town someone was like you were going to fight to the death and they were like oh but i'm just going to try and get on a boat or whatever and they were like if you cross this tree line i'm going to shoot at you and then one of the officers did and they just shot him Oh, I don't know why I thought the story was going, but... That's just... It just tells you how, like, you know, there were people that died so Dunkirk could happen.

Could live. Could live in our minds. Yeah. So people died to... So people could cue. People die for us to make fun of this. You should remember that. I mean, got to think what this podcast would be

if the Nazis had taken over. It might be an anti-Nazi podcast. This would just be a sort of, I don't know what it would be. It'd be like fucking the news agents. Nazi music. Emily Mammilus. Oh, Emily Muttilus. Lewis Goodall.

That man says every synonym he can think for a word before he moves on to the next word. It's like we get it. You're insecure about coming from Birmingham. He's absolutely infuriating to listen to. He's just got that like posh accent where he's flattened all of his midlandsness.

But he'll also go, Starma is discombobulated, confused, unraveling. We've done this with brand. Guess what he turned out to be. Exactly. Just like pick a word, Lewis, and then move on to the next word. That's what talking is.

I know there's lots of different words, but you're meant to use one to mean one thing and then carry on the sentence. Hello, I'm Elizabeth Day, the creator and host of How to Fail. It's the podcast that celebrates the things in life that haven't gone right. And what, if anything,

we've learned from those mistakes to help us succeed better? Each week, my guests share three failures, sparking intimate, thought-provoking and funny conversations. You'll hear from a diverse range of voices, sharing what they've learned through their failure. join me Wednesdays for a new episode each week. This is an Elizabeth Day in Sony Music Entertainment Original podcast.

Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. Anyway, 29th of May. I reckon they're having a nice time. They're singing. It's a beach. You know, it's a beach. You know, British don't get, they don't have pebble beaches, mainly. So, you know, they're like, oh, the sandy beaches, nice.

They've got the towels out. Building sandcastles. Maybe they're building like snow angels. They're burying them in the sand with pitts. Well, a bit of fun, isn't it? A bit of fun. Anyway, on this day, this is the crucial day, because of the big mole, 47,310 British troops are evacuated,

which overtakes the original number that was aimed in Diamond of Dynamo in one day. So now they start thinking, fuck, I reckon we might be able to get everyone out now. So originally with the ambitious ideas of what Dynamo could be, they just thought it would be like, ideally like 30,000 people. Yeah, they were like 40,000 in two days would be amazing. That would be incredible. and then the rest are just fucked. The Germans fucked it.

The Germans fucked it. They absolutely fucked it. That's what I've been saying. Hitler, after this, shouldn't be able to sleep at night. That's what I'd say to him. It's what I'd tell you to him after Duncan was. I don't know how you sleep at night.

I think you should be ashamed. You should be ashamed. That was an open goal. I know. It's a Holocaust. No. No. I'm not letting you get off the hook with Dunkirk.

Stop bringing out the Holocaust. Who gives a fuck? Whatever. You had an open goal. there and you fucking Fernando Torrised it. You had too much time to think. There was more people on the beach

and Dunkirk than you killed in the Holocaust. Yeah. Probably, I don't know. So we moved to the 30th of May. By this point, it's starting to look up. The RAF and the Luffafa are always fighting above the cloud. So on the beach, like you see this

in the Nolan film where someone goes to the RAF guy, well, where were you? Where the fact were you then? Right. but they're all the fighting's happening above the clouds so he says I was above the clouds you couldn't see because there were clouds he's like blah la la la so the lufa are fighting

above the clouds they're also you know they are like dive the stuka dive bombers which are terrifying and I think the noise of the X wing not the X wing the Thai fighter in Star Wars that that noise is based off the dive bomber noise I think they would they just come out of the clouds and just be like oh fuck but planes are still pretty new as well

as we say they're sort of 30 you know they've only just realized women can't fly them that's how new they are oh hang on the Thai FISA sound is a combination of an elephant call and the sound of a car driving on wet pavement I don't think it is when does a car drive on a wet pavement

what like a sort of Prius Christmas market situation did George Lucas does that happen once and he was like that's brilliant that's a great sound what's that sound car on wet pavement is that an elephant driving a car through a wet pavement yeah so the dive bombers are they're coming out of the clouds and they're trying to

bomb the ships but it's like it's like a needle in the haystack it's very hard for them to do it so they don't actually hit many at all and also the smaller of the ships the harder they are to hit so yeah and there's something about the basically pretty much all the ships didn't get hit or something yeah they didn't do any damage

so on the 30th of May all remaining British divisions and half the French First Army are now behind the defensive line of the canals so they managed to get all the way behind the defence the panzers are withdrawn from the battle officially because we must not forget they've been doing meth for two weeks

straight at this point and the RAF are defending the troops from the Luftafa and they're able to sink one transport and damage to 12 others but 53,823 men are evacuated all from the East Mole so by this point people are like

okay we're cooking now we're cooking on gas 31st of May got the man who Gort. Gort, a mastermind of the retreat. He gets 68,000 troops. Still get slacked off. Including some French soldiers.

Okay, maybe he should be slagmoth. And then Alexander is left in charge of a 4,000 strong rearguard defense. The 1st of June, the Lefafa destroy four destroyers. Okay, so they do destroy some vessels. Okay, and 27 small vessels. But 62,000 troops evacuated. Big numbers. And then on the second of June, the last.

of the B.EF are evacuated, the BF. And, yeah, tenant, who's the guy leading it, he gets a megaphone and, bear my, everyone's gone, and he gets a megaphone, and he goes up and down the beach and a little boat going, any British, any British, anyone, this is your final call, last orders, ding-de-d-d-ding, and no one answers, and then he goes back. Well, he rings the bell.

He rings the bell. He rings the bell. Come on, last orders, 26,000 go. And then by the 3rd of June, they go back and get, 5,000 more French, which I think is a disgrace. Yeah. So now they're just doing victory laps. Yeah, they're like, well, we'll get some French then if we want. I mean, this is crazy. And then the

remaining 40,000 French soldiers surrender on the 4th of June, I guess because we're just like, ah, no, I can't be asked. Well, they're like, can you let us stay here? We really like surrendering, so. What have you found, Charlie? Our editor Jim's Grandad was on the final boat out of Dunkirk and that was the

HMS Shakira. The HMS Shakari. Oh, right. What anime nerd? named that. It's a Jim's dad somewhere on that. Her ship, don't lie. Grandad even. Last one. I mean, that's like...

That's the dream as you're a Brit, right? The last, the last... You want to be the last one on? Yeah. Last one off the beach. Last chopper out of Saigon. Yeah. It's the last man to fuck when he blew.

What a hero. What a hero. What a hero. Last man standing. So at the conclusion of Dunkirk, 338,226 troops evacuated over nine days. See, only 59% were British. So the foreigners are on small boats crossing the channel.

It starts here. And we did it to ourselves. 39% were French. This has never talked about. A lot of Indian soldiers there, part of the Commonwealth. 39% of French. And all we've done is we've just gone, well, why don't you come over here and surrender?

Do you want to surrender over here? Do you want to surrender here or over there? A thousand ships and vessels participate in the evacuation, including around 700 civilian crafts so there's this image of like in the film just like pedlows yeah

flintsoffs in a pedlo they're gonna one at a time like just random people some bloke comes into a pub in Kent and goes oh they needed a Dunkirk everyone getting a boat but actually the Navy just requisitioned it the Navy just took all the boats yeah and it was oh so it wasn't this like

no there was there was like maybe I don't know maybe 30 50 people civilians who actually manned it but it was mainly just Navy just taking boats but we should talk about one of the amazing stories

is that Lytola who was one of the commanding officers in the Titanic and maybe the highest Iiota from the Titanic series

Not the Ayatollah not the Ayatollah Aetola commanding I guess you know I'm talking about such history I'm always like

trying to see if we it's like trying to teach like an AI's information from a base it's difficult he can't see you're here he can't see all here

he can't see He's just hit the microphone with his head. But we've done so many issues. I'm always like, when we build a link between episodes, I just wonder if there's a connection being made. So I just thought with Lytola. Bless him, there is. Even for me, I was looking at Lytola from Titanic.

I was like, I can't believe these two episodes. Yeah. We didn't plan these together. And now these characters are popping up. Yeah. I thought you'd have a moment and you're like, what, the Iotola was at. Hang on, the Ayatollah was at Dunk?

What in a boat? The Iatollah got in a boat came from Iran. I wonder he's so grumpy. Yeah. It was a fucking big old journey. a small boat. Dodge Grumpikins, all the way. No, it's not the Ayatollah.

Bless you, Charlie. It's Lieutenant Lytola. Lytola. Who I think was in the Titanic series, was it that Lytolah and someone else? Lyttoll and Murdoch, was it? Yeah. Two sides of the boat.

There were commanders getting people off at either side. Who was the one who was slightly worse than the other? Well, they were the ones that had differing interpretations of women and children first, didn't they? Right. And one of them supposedly shoots himself. So I guess it's not him, is it? It's not Lytollah. if he then later

But he doesn't take a boat No He holds on to He's one of the few people Who gets rescued from But how old would he be He must be quite old at this point Charles Lightoller

Born in 74 Old Is he in his early No he's in his late 60s When he does this I'll be screaming coward Coward He comes back alive for the talent

Coward He comes back to Dunkirk And I'm not getting on that ship You're coward You went down with your ship I mean it is a bit Like him getting out of both of these I would be looking at him like

If I'm on the beach He's like oh Have you got sailing experience Yeah it's on the Titanic Well I'm not getting in your bow I'm fucking idiot Wait I think Lyttolla was on the Titanic

That might be it That might be the dumbest I think that's the stupidest thing You've ever said And you're a fucking idiot Everything you say is stupid That's the stupidest thing What do you think

we've said the word Titanic several times right in the last two minutes we've said the word Titanic so many times what's the point of this podcast I don't know I don't know if we say history then 50 minutes later Charlie's like just says it again you can put your mind blown it's just gas lighting is what it is it's constant gas lighting it makes me think you know when you said the Iotala that's when I was saying bringing up the light tunnels on the Titanic I thought you meant he was in Dunkirk went for a swim

I actually thought you guys were really happy that I realised that no no so yeah he was at Dunkirk that's why we're talking about it and he was also we're talking about it

because so he survived the Titanic that's pretty mad so Charlie you know the series now we're doing it on Dunkirk in your massive headphones yeah

in the series that's going into your headphones right now we're currently talking into your ears so these aren't your thoughts

these are us speaking maybe I just heard you and then it got through you forgot I forgot. Your brain ordered a halt order of the information. Yeah, yeah.

There's a big halt order. When's that hole going to be rescinded, by the way? When are they going to fix your brain? I don't know. This week, I'm going to go to spec savers. I don't think spec savers will work in your brain, Charlie.

Eyes, ears and head. Can you do anything for my head? Is there a head savers I can go to? Spack savers, that's what you need. Fucking hell. Right. Christ, that's really just taking the wind out of me. That really, that was the...

just the most phenomenally stupid thing ever. That's the dumbest he's ever been. The dumbest he's ever been. Yeah. Genuinely, like, took my breath away. Well, there was silence. There was dead air. That's how much we were both just shocked. We were staring at Charlie's realization there, the way Hitler would be staring

at a deserted Dunkirk Beach on the 4th of June. Like, I can't. How's this happened? How would be so stupid? How have we let this happen? Guring, you fucking fat cunt. You were meant to bomb these fuckers. What happened?

Oh, you know, man, mate. You got any gum? So, Lytaller, Charles Lytola, who as Charlie has just informed us, was on the Titanic. Really? Believe it or not. Incredible. What a life. He gets his little boat and he picks some people up. I don't know how many, but he, yeah, he helps the evacuation.

Yeah. Which is a lovely narrative story for someone who had potentially shot women and children, shot men, women and children on Titanic to go. It's like a redemption thing. It's a redemption up. Yeah. Reading, playing, learning. Stellist lenses do more than just correct your child's vision. They slow down the progression of myopia.

So your child can continue to discover all the world has to offer through their own eyes. Light the path to a brighter future with stellus lenses for myopia control. Learn more at SLOR.com. And ask your family eye care professional for SLR Stellist lenses at your child's next visit. So what are the repercussions of Dunkirk? On the 4th of June, after Dynamo, Operation Dynamo ends, and Dunkirk is evacuated, Churchill delivers his, We shall fight them on the beaches,

we shall fight them in the bin, we shall fight them in their toilets, fight them in every day, which I listen to. We shall fight them on the beach. Hi, yeah, I'm actually, no my wife works um she comes back late from work so i i we're pregnant we're pregnant we're having a third yeah no it's share paternity leave i'm gonna take the time off actually

yeah i'm i'm i'm not even we're not married i'm i'm not even the father i'm her birthing partner yeah i have to leave the rooms that you can masturbate yeah which is fine actually yeah i prefer it that way i wouldn't want to do anything that makes her uncomfortable well your fucking voice is creeping me out so that's yeah nonce This is what a nonce looks like, more like. This is what a nonce looks like. Can we get any edit of that? This is what a feminist looks like,

change feminist to nonce. Can we get that up? Benedict Gumberg. This is what the nonce looks like. Smuggler. This is what nonce looks like. Yeah, it's that but it just says nonce. Yeah.

Jeffrey Epstein's there. Taylor Swift's. Yeah. I'm a nonce. Anyway, so Churchill delivers the famous speech and also They should be a Nuremberg trial for everyone who wore this t-shirt

Yeah they should Because they'd be as justice of shame They should be wearing the t-shirt out of the trial And I'd like to be the judge Exhibit A, look at this Guilty And I guess what would the poetic justice be In the way that like

Hurst was hanged at Auschwitz What would the, they'd have to like Get two guns and go like And like shoot themselves with guns or something Listen to themselves on podcasts on repeat Like in Guatemala Bay Yeah I don't know There'd be something with the pointing that would

what point of themselves while they're getting shot in their head like this is what execution looks like use cosmetic surgery

to force their face to be this mug forever does they have to walk around like this yeah anyway right so Churchill delivers this famous speech

which there's a nice little aside in that after he makes the speech he turns to his aid and says and we'll fight them with the buttons of broken beer bottles

because that's bloody well all we've got yeah very droll Churchill very funny guy but you know the British public I guess this jeez them up and there's a whole

The fight is everyone to fuck up Everyone gets fucking fired up at this Yeah well fucking yeah Fuck it We'll do it live You know

Because I suppose This is as we You know In this series we start with the phony war The war hadn't really been real Suddenly the Germans Start this sort of chem warfare Kemp sex warfare

And then You know we're completely fucked We're in a corner And then you know the miracle of deliverance Churchill calls it and he says in his speech he goes you know wars aren't won by evacuations but it is a brilliantly written

speech but I listened to it in researching this and it is so like delivery is not great no it's pretty like yeah the writing is good but it's pretty droney the delivery find the speech Charlie do you think Kirstama could do a

we will fight them on the beaches we'll fight them in the line again Wars are not won by evacuations Yeah. Well, we won't necessarily fight the land of grounds because it depends if they're showing aggression. It's better than to the way, though, who's got tons too big for our mouth.

We'll fight them on the benches. If necessary, viands. If necessary, alone. So drunk. Drunk as man of all time. Remember, he's 35 when he's saying this speech. It's got that sort of English vicar. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

I mean, it's brilliantly written, but it is delivered like a bored drunk man Yeah, it's like the shipping forecast Yeah, it really is Yonaville town Two

Wick and Wanderers Nill Yeah, it's the scores The doors Yeah, it's the scores Yeah, it's the scores that, yeah Crew Alexander 3 African

Fleming 2 And you're trying to work out what the score was by the intonation that they When they go like 12th 4 Manchester United

and they always have to end it and then they go Charlton Athletic versus Wick and Wanderers 5pm kickoff Do you ever have that thing where you stayed up to watch match the day but you're too tired and you fall asleep watch match the day

and you wake up to this guy and it's just like a British fever dream like you're half awake Wickewatha Blah blah blah That's Churchill Find them on the Macy's on the beachers And everyone's like, what a brilliant speaker.

Fuck, yeah. It was like, this guy, he gets it. I told us here. He's the, I told us like, yeah, yeah. Do Saudi Arabia when they beat Argentina, AK-47s. Oh, yeah, this is what? This is British people after Churchill's speech. It's rousing.

England. Churchill is. is sort of had a big dinner, Christmas dinner, and he's now playing charades with the family. Imagine that acid reflux burps he does. Churchill is, there's never been more acid reflux than Churchill.

Yeah, yeah, this is it. This is Britain after Churchill's wheel fight him on the bitchy speech. The doors come off the hinges. Get that out of there. And shopkeepers and bakers

and bakers up and down this great country are taking TVs off hinges. they're going absolutely stir crazy AKs in the air crutch in the air yeah yeah that's well that's Londonistan yeah but that's Londonistan

after Churchill's speech you know they're going absolutely crazy they've got their their headdresses on but this cements his his like political position I mean it is fucking crazy two weeks into the prime minister

yeah I guess it's the biggest week in British history probably and you know there was two days where Churchill thought we'd have to bow to Halifax's plan to get the Italians to back channel. And a Black Monday in there, but they got a great deal. And they've got a great deal on Blenders, Nutier Bullet, smoothie makers. Yeah.

They got a whole crockery set for under a tenor. What a week? Big week. Some interesting moments just to mop up at this buffet of World War II. Got the bread, goes through the pasta sauce. Exactly. Let's tear off some hunks of French bread, or as they call it, the Maginot line, and just dip it in the juicy sauce

that we've got in the place. So there were initially miscommunications between the British and French on their beach allocations. There were allocated beaches. Well, because one of them speaks French, one of the speaks English. Yeah, well, no, it's probably

that all the British were digging holes to poo in and the French were like, that's our beach. And we're like, yeah, your country's a toilet. So the French were, British were pooing and the French side. French troops at Le Pan threatened the British with guns

while trying to break through the barriers to get to the beach. and the confrontation was only broken up when the Germans bombed the town and scattered them. Diplomatic Germans. Thank you the Germans for having our back in this instance.

By Dunkirk Harbuss and Brits stormed a French ship, insulted the French and threw all their guns in the sea when they heard the ship was heading to a French port city. So there were several frightes in British and French and told them it's your country defend it before pushing them off the mole into the water.

Stories of French men trying to board British boats being thrown back into the water, you know, it softens the heart, flutters the asshole. Also at Dunkirk were 300 Punjabi mule handlers from the Royal Indian Army Service Corps and other muleteers. I didn't know, that was the word. The three muleteers.

The three muleteers. Very different story. Yeah, the Punjabi's force K-6 had been sent to France from India when the British realized that they needed animal power to move their supplies. Some of the soldiers borrowed metal trays from cooks at a train station and began to play Bangra music. Right. Well, there you go.

I don't know why that's relevant. So, yeah, I mean, what do they eat on the beach like? fucking, Biscuits, bully beef and mackerel. It's just classic tinned, tin fish.

This is the high, tin fish. Tinned fish has never been more important to British people than there. They're like, thank fuck we've got those

tins of, tins of beef. Thank fuck we don't have any taste buds and have no idea what good food tastes like. Yeah, I know that we were meant to spend the last three years

developing like high-tech warfare but thank fuck we put that cow in that tin. Yeah. Otherwise, we'd be starving here. To be honest, Britain's lack of sophistication when it comes

the food is what saved us in 1940. Yeah, totally. Because the French is like, where we cannot get fired without a beautifully organic chicken, picked, plucked for a cocker van. We're like, oh, we're just fucking eat a dry sea biscuit with a fucking cow and a tin. I'll just smear some tinned cow on that biscuit. Lovely. Fine, brilliant. Let's go. That's sorted.

And so, yeah, I mean, when people say this is the turning point in the war, obviously the Battle of Britain's to come. Now, apparently, which is quite boring. I mean, it's important. but I can't visualize it. No, it's visually quite difficult. And also we kind of completely fucked them. Yeah, we did dominate them.

Yeah, so it wasn't really like, it was just a couple of dog fights. That's it. But again, that's partly because our boys had fucked them so hard over Dunkirk. It took a lot of, the Lufaffa lost a lot of planes over Dunkirk. Really?

Yeah. Because the RAF sort of start. But Dunkirk's obviously so key to the British myth, but when the film came out, you were saying the Americans didn't even know the story. Yeah, so, I was watching some interviews on like late night shows with like Kenneth Branagh

who's in the Dunkirk film and they're like oh yeah so Dunkirk we don't even we don't even know this story over here because I guess the Americans it's all you know they're fighting the rice wines yeah and they've got their own stories I'm sure the Russians don't give a fuck either no they don't get a fuck they got it you think that's heroic what about starting graham yeah I mean

it's like three million people just put through a meat grind we just got 300,000 people on the beach just getting sucked off have you seen those videos of Americans who think that London is like a country or you know yeah it's not a surprise they don't know what dunkirk is they don't know that like spain is yeah you're one to talk charlie yeah you really i mean i was just saying i don't know how the you turn you've had those americans are fucking idiots anyway guys have you heard about this thing called dunkirk

do you know what happened at dunkirk i'm waiting for the series where at the end of the end of five hours you go have you heard of what happened the russian revolution you heard about this thing fucking insane absolutely insane um well listen Listen, it's been a long way at this beach. It has been a long way at this beach. And we're finally our boat's here. Our boat's here, and it's time to depart.

The good ship Lily Phillips has arrived. And we're begging for deliverance. Thank you very much for joining us. If you'd like more. More? Then join the Patreon where you get a bonus episode every Friday. Little treat to carry you over to the weekend. More even if you're poor.

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You put a goose in a blender or something. You fucking, you get corn and you stick it down to goose's neck. You pour porridge into a diesel engine. Right. And then you put, well, that's what we're going to do to you with our content, with our relentless march. So that's Dunkirk. A lovely bit of red meat.

We hope you've enjoyed it. Sign up for the Patreon for more. And, and, this has been bumfuck. And, you know, obviously there's ying and yang. I imagine next week we'll be doing something incredibly vegetarian what goes up must come down

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