Fin vs History - The 9th Century #MeToo | Vikings (Part 1)

Episode Date: August 18, 2025

How did one of the most violent societies in history end up at IKEA? The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened.  For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/fintaylor CHAPTERS: 00:00 Aquatic Rape on Sea 05:12 Dan Snowdrome 12:44 Raid on Lindisfarne 19:52 Golden Age of Dwarfs 27:29 Death and Valhalla 35:30 Berserkers 42:10 Northerners are Vikings 50:30 Ibn Wiping My Ass Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Reading, playing, learning. Stellist lenses do more than just correct your child's vision. They slow down the progression of myopia. So your child can continue to discover all the world has to offer through their own eyes. Light the path to a brighter future with stellar lenses for myopia control. Learn more at SLR.com. And ask your family eye care professional for SLR Stellist lenses at your child's next visit. You join us once again for Finn versus History.

I'm here with Horatio Gould. Stop thy boat. And today we're talking about Vikings. Yes. This is IKEA's violent prehistory. Exactly. The origin story of Bjork. Yeah.

Vice-Lay Kings. Vice-Lay Kings. It's Nazi ancient history. It's excellent stuff. Yeah, it's good stuff. I actually was more interesting than I thought it would be. Yes, I dreaded this coming up.

And then as soon as I realized that it was kind of Nazi origin myth, I went to lovely style. Rapist on sea, despite the Nazis. Rape on sea. We're back in Rape and Sea. Is that where we are? Which I believe we said

was in East Anglia somewhere, rape on sea. It's an old Viking settlement. Yes, of course. Most of Scandinavia was rape on sea. They didn't, to be fair, they didn't rape on land. No.

We don't want to judge these people by the standards of today. Though it's a pagan culture, so they have different values. Aquatic rape, is it as bad? Horatio Gould. That's just me on question time. Me hosting question time.

Aquatic rape, is it as bad? Horatio Gould, MP. Kirstama, it's like, well, you know, I think all rape is bad. No, but maybe. Stop equilating, you know. No. Thank you.

Kirstama. It's always like, they're pushing for a yes or no answer. Yeah. And if you give it, you're going to get destroyed either. No, but it's disarming. And people actually, I think, respect it. No. Answer the question.

All the pigs in the crowd. Answer it. Yeah. The thing I remember the most is when Russell Brand did it. And then some guy in the crowd went, why won't you stand? Why won't you stand? And he went, I can't stand.

I can't. I've become one of them. I'm a land rancist. I'm a land rate. I don't rape on sea. I rape on land. Yeah, I guess it's fun. Viking Scandinavian history is quite

similar to the Japanese samurai in the sense that it was a huge contrast to their modern and forebears. Yes. Yes, you're right, because there's that famous meme of the samurai atomic bomb. Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, hello kitty. Yeah. So it's gone from really harsh samurai, really intense sort of just like Chinese, basically, Japanese Nazis.

The Chinese Nazis is what they used to be. In the spirit of amalgamating countries, which as we've said is what we'd like to do for, you know, make them up smaller. Make the world smaller. Close your mind. Close your perspective. I think China, yeah, Chinese, Chinese Nazis. So the Vikings, it was rapists on sea who believed in sort of thunder gods like Odin. Airan rapists. Yeah. Aaron rapists. Yeah. And then I guess Howard Hardrada died and they started making flat pat furniture. Yeah. That's the story. Yeah. It is, it becomes pretty tame. Yeah. It's really, it's a, that, their big kind of achievement is like

the welfare state. Yeah. It's, I guess Christianity has made one of the great traditions, That's what it does. It just smooths out the edges. If there's ever any sort of sex or rape cults, it just kind of gets turned into sort of just... Can we just put that rape in an altar and make the victim of my boy? Can we make you guys just kind of efficient and dull, please? Can we just make it paedophilia rather than rape? Can we just smooth off that edge? The rape is too violent. It's too aquatic. You've been to Scandinavia? I have. What do you think of Scandinavia?

It's fine. It's just fine. Yeah. I've been to Finland's atrocious. Finland is a bin. Yeah, right, Binland. Binland. Norway. You've been to Mooman Land, though? No, I haven't.

That's great, to be fair. Shout out, moving. They've got like a theme park that's based on Mooman land, and it's great. I would like to go Lapland and do that whole thing. Huskies. I'm into that. I'd like to just ride around. Yeah, I'd like to meet Santa.

Give Santa a hand shandy. I mean, Santa, that's what's weird, is that Santa comes from this place. Yeah, he's definitely depressed. And sort of all the Nazi, you know, racial science, but it's from the same place. We don't talk enough about that. What's the point you're. Well, is Santa, is Santa Nazi? That's what I'm asking.

Is he? Vata Christmas. We're not saying we have all the answers, but we do have the right questions, I think, on this podcast. I'm asking a legitimate question. Is Santa Nazi? There is something quite fascistic about that. Maybe not. He gives all the presents.

Well, he gives better presents to rich kids. Santa Claus is not a Nazi. Okay. Thank you, Charlie. I mean, we don't know what he believes politically. That's why he's able to stay so popular for so long is that we don't know what he thinks. But if we did have a sort of white van man talking head with Santa, you know, leaning out there, what do you think?

I think it would be atrocious. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like a man of that age. Yeah, in that remote. He's living in rural Lapland. He's not going to be a head of obeying opinions. I mean, yeah, he listens to LBC as he's delivering presents. Yeah.

He's just going on. So, Date Khan makes it fucking impossible. Oh, I've got to fucking fly over Lunditistan, but I can't fucking see where all the Christians are anymore. They're all fucking Muslims down there now. So they say Santa is Odin. That's interesting. We'll get on to Norse mythology,

but it's quite interesting the idea that it's kind of based on that. Anyway, the Nordic, the Viking Age. Now, one thing I must say as well is that in terms of the historians that we have had to encounter the last week. How ugly do you think these are? Ugly as it gets. Ugly as it gets. Ugly and as autistic as it.

Because this is so much. That's a bold claim considering some of the other topics. Listen, this is... We need to make a scale of how ugly the historians on Mather. I take up back, which female witch historians are balding, fat, dandruff, even though they're bald, like, they've got face dandruff, it's bad. Right. I'd say level below that, this, you get Viking historians.

Okay. Because the problem with this topic, for me, is that so much of the topic is myth, which has then been put into, like, World of Warcraft, all that, you know. So, gamer stuff. Yeah. So, you know, the thunder god thought all that stuff. There's a lot of spit coming out when they talk about it. So you think on the, the best looking end is sort of 20th century history.

Yeah. Sort of Vietnam War, maybe World War II. I do think you over-egged how some of these World War II historians look like in there. They're their own sort of losers in their own way. I guess it's a tallest dwarf, isn't it? Yes. Yeah, none of these people are winners. But there is a, you know, there is definitely worse.

You're putting Vikings and notch below witches. It basically is far from reality as you go. I spoke to... What about ancient Egypt? Well, have we not got there yet? Yeah, no. Okay, I guess this is as far as we've made it. But I saw Dan Snow interview a man who literally was so high...

Dan Snowdrum. What? Dan Snowdrum. Yeah, sorry, this is a historian with Dan Snowdrum. Dan Snowdrum. Does it work? I don't know. Down syndrome.

He's Dan Snowdron. He's got Dan's. He's got Dan's. Yeah. Peter Snowden had a son with Dan Snowdrum. He loves his horses. That's Dan Snowdram's history here is mainly the history of ice cream and horses. Anyway, I saw Dan Snow, who, thank you, Charlie, according to, apparently Dan Snow's ideal lunches, smoke salmon, lasagna, and poached pears.

He's a good-looking bloke, Dan Snow. That's not a dance syndrome. diet. No. I think Dan Snowdrum dinner party is like hundreds of thousands. It's party rings. You know what it is? It's a party ring every day. In the same way that Vikings have Valhalla, Down syndrome people have the ice cream bar at pizza pizza pizza. That's Down syndrome Valhalla. Sprinkles. Unlimited, unlimited refills. The Hall of Warriors. That's Downs Valhalla. It's the ice cream. buffet at Pizza Hut, which for the long time was my Valhalla as well. I had real issues

with that. You only just got out of Valhalla. I was in Valhalla for a long time. You know, if I died age 10, my parents would have buried me next to... A Viking burial? Next to the ice cream. You got a spoon and you're lying like that. And it's loads of ice cream dishes. And then there's hundreds of thousands and jelly babies and minstrels got and the sauce, God, I did some real damage. called is it called the ice cream factory that's what it's called ice cream factory right let me tell you i was doing overtime were you working out or when you're on the conveyor belt hey i was on the conveyor just going round and round and round i don't know if you're a product or a worker i had big problems with

the the oxford high street ice cream factory as a as a preteen i did a lot of damage in there it's just yeah it's like a like an old alki being uh going to william hill i once got kicked out of the pizza hut buffet for eating too much really they said they said you i said it's all you can eat and then they were like after after a while they were like no you got to stop now because now we're in the red for the day they haven't taken to account

someone like you when they came up with because all you can eat they're thinking of the average person they're not thinking it's not all Finn can eat they're not thinking of a thorough bread fatty from the shires it was a Viking raid a Viking raid in the pizza ice cream factory

it was devastating raped several waiters pillaged pillaged the ice cream only the salad bar remained yeah the salar bar the salar bar survived

the only evidence we have of this raid is that the salad bar was left completely intact and we can't know the wonders that were lost anyway that's enough about my childhood my point was what I was talking my point was I watched an interview Dan Snow talking to a Viking historian and his he was so fucked to this guy

that one eye wouldn't open. Right. So he was like, The Viking Age his thoughts of starting and the sex sense for it. Like he was such a hum actually that he couldn't open one eye.

Right. Right. So on the league table of ugly historians, the Vikings is strong. Strong. It's just strong showing. Okay. All right.

Well, we'll keep you up today because we've got some other real ugly topics coming up. Yeah, we'll tell you if we find... Because I guess we have to do the research to find out who actually is the ugliest so we'll keep you up today.

Do you not think it adds to it a bit if you have like a really fucked-looking historian. If they look like a toad, like bold a man with like one eye just talking about. What you want, you trust it

because someone down to know there's a TV element to it and you're like, are you just jushing this up? Do you know what I mean? Yes. You're making this sex. You're making this glam.

When you have someone who looks like they were pulled out of the archives like someone pulled open the thing and had to grab them out. They opened a Viking rock and some guy was like, and he just just keep talking. He's not even doesn't have you done

doing interviews. Then you're like this is more of a primary source. This is a better source. It's like Shaternuf de Pap label. You're like, I trust this. Yeah. This is quality. But also you're getting it. This is DOC. No, this is when you go to wholesale, right?

Costco. You're buying stuff that normally restaurants buy. You're buying it without trade prices. Trade prices. You're getting it straight from the source. There's no jushing up. I'll decide what to do with the information. Yeah. Because you're just going man, blah, blah. Anyway, the Viking Age. So one of the things

these, these pond life, what they say is that you know, Vikings, they get a at that, they go, there wasn't a thing of Viking, you know, they get all... Yeah, they're always. That's every to want to take. Oh, actually, there wasn't the Romans. There wasn't a Renaissance. There wasn't a Holocaust. All right. Well, okay, I'm listening. The Viking Age is what they say.

They say, there's no Vikings. There's a Viking age. Right. And the Viking Age goes from... But that's disputed as well. Yeah, well, everything's disputed. You know, the Renaissance, the Holocaust, it's all up for grabs. That's why we've started this podcast to try and give people clarity over what did and didn't happen.

Oh, firstly, we must shout out these socks. Yes. We got... What's the brand called? Swole panda. Swole panda. They sent us free socks. After my harrowing shows of my ankle.

And I must say that any other brands that would like to, like them, wants to align with our values, which I say again, it's over at Holocaust denial, Nazi apologism, and any brands think, yes, I want to get into that slip stream. I'm thinking suit supply. M&S. Maybe not them, though, that's a Jewish brand. but you know something if you want to align with our values as a podcast send us free stuff anyway so we're going to do like big long thing saying this didn't align with our values when someone saying the holocaust did happen sorry sorry right we must say that we took the gift but we don't we don't align with their perspective shirts would be nice so there's a shirt

anyway the Viking age is sort of seen as the eighth to the kind of 11th century yeah so the first sort of sense we have of them is a raid on Lindisfarne, which is a monastery off the coast of Northumbria I think. Holy Island, Lindersfarm where is it? Northumberland, yeah. This is 793, I think. And this is considered kind of the birth of how

we imagine the Viking Age, even though the Norse gods have been around a lot of things that you would attach to the Vikings have already existed. But the idea of them being rapists and pillages sort of starts on Lindersfarn where this kind of... It's a bit strong to call them rapists because we shouldn't judge them by today's standards, I think that they're raiders.

Right. they're travellers. Yeah. You know, to them, they're backpacking. They're tourists. They're tourists. Yeah. They're Brits abroad.

They're... They're... They're seeing it as they're... They're travelling around Europe. Yeah. They're interrailing. Who are they interrailing? Let's not get into that.

So that... But this is the interesting thing about the Vikings is that they didn't write stuff down really. Or they did, but it's in like runes. I know that the SS logo is ruin. They were writing into rocks. It took fucking ages. Yeah, they were writing on rocks.

No one's taking notes of me. meetings because they're probably licking rocks as well i mean yeah you know you couldn't have um what's it called the the hand sard no there's no hands hard because that would just take forever some poor guy carving what's not give me a fucking second sorry but the only the only kind of they're framed entirely as from the christian perspective so that that's why people think of vikings as rapists pillagers raiders because that was the only way we experienced them we experienced them as which gives you a sense of maybe what, like, you know, Kenyans thought of the Brits.

Right. Because you don't have their side of the story? Because we killed them all. Right. Because that story's wrong. Yeah, okay. Our story's correct. But I mean, if you,

so if you had the Viking side of the story, would it be similar to, like, Robin Thick's blurred lines? Yes. Yeah. They kind of see the coast of England. Yeah. And they're thinking,

they want it. Do they want it? They want it. Is she asking for it? She's asking for it. And I guess in a weird way, The reason why the Lindisfarne raid happened and why loads of raids happened like it

is there was lots of money in a monastery undefended. They were close. What are they wearing? Habits? Yeah. To be fair, part of the imagery because I think a lot of Vikings

it's quite broad, we can't really pin on too many individual characters. It's more like a broad thing. Like pirates. It's a sweeping thing. It's an era. Part of the imagery is terrified bald monks

running away, right? Yeah. That's a huge part of the image. kind of Benny Hill thing in my head there's loads of people with shit

haircuts going oh no yeah and then these massive chads yeah it's like

a thousand Ben Stokes landing on shore with a thousand jack leeches all running away that's what yeah it is while there's no

specific historical evidence confirming the Vikings systematically raped monks they did engage in violence and pillaging during their raids on monasteries

so yeah i don't think they were raping monks charlie yeah why not they probably were i don't think we need to go more into that i think we've probably covered that yeah i think we've got that we'll still get comments then what are you scared to not do you scared not uh uh chicken you only did 25 minutes on rate why didn't you do 55 i need this podcast to relax you've only talked about rape for 15 minutes my commute's 35 um anyway so they uh they land a linda this is the first contact the Christian world has with them. Lindisfarne, I think it's 793.

Just check that, Charlie, for the artist listening. Sorry. The humachal. The listeners. Yeah, the ones with Dan Snowdron. 793. Now, do you want to place this?

793. Oh, okay. So 793, it is after the invention of Islam. Yes. Not that much after, but 610. Yep. And it is before...

Where's he going with this? It is before... I know what I'm thinking. What were you thinking? Charlie Hebdo. It was before Charlie Hebdo. It was before Charlie Hebdo. It was before the sacquebleu.

Oh, no! I mean, that frames it quite nice thing. It's before the French finally came back from lunch for one day and the terrorists were there. Tragedy. Traged. The one day they take an hour of lunch break. Masked. So, yeah, so this is after Islam, before Hebdo.

Yeah. This is when the Viking Age really begins. And the first, the shocks the Christian world. This, which again, I don't really, it's hard to visualize, but these ships come out of the water and these monks who are just mining their own business

and I don't know what the fuck they're doing. A lot of botany. These are sort of, it's kind of botany, big botany. What, plants? Yeah, they love botany, monks. Do they?

Yeah, so a lot of them would be. Gardening. Yeah, it's just like, it's a bros paradise, right? They're all blokes with fucking baldheads and they're all doing like herbal. They're just kind of getting into gay ships because there's no women around. Do you know what I mean?

You don't feel like you have to be judged for your masculinity because there's just loads of blocs being gay together. That's what a monastery is. Oh, so this is a terrible story. It really is. Then the Vikings turn up in these long... Just out the mist the monks see this dragon. Yep. And then they go, oh no,

it's this front of a ship. Right. And they've brought them a Vikings and they've carved this big dragon head into the front of a long ship. Which is a new innovation. Which is the kind of most devastating military technology of the time. And this is part of the reason they become so dominant is the long ship. Yeah. The key reason the longships are so devastating is because they're so shallow so you can get

right up onto the beach basically. So rather than being short and deep, they're long. And they're long so they can sort of like, they can beach. They can beach and they hold a lot of men so that one beach, one long ship going on the beach. This is like the first D-Day landing craft. Yeah, I guess so, yeah. People are sailing before this and not.

Yeah, lots of sailing. But can they not land? Yeah, I think it's harder to land. Right. Up against rocks and stuff like that, I think it's harder to get... I think you have to land by the beach and then get another smaller boat. Speed as well, I guess.

Right, so they're fast. I think the efficiency of carrying men, look at the shape of it. Yes. So it means that you can, like, get a lot of... Because if you're having a ship that can't carry that many men and you get on the beach... There's four of you. Yeah, there's four.

Yeah. Come on. And the monks are like, fuck off. Do you want to join our herb? Garden, commune. Here we go. Viking long ships had a variety of roles on board. Key positions, including the skipper, steersman, cook, and the ordinary crew members

called the Holum-Hollum. Additionally, some ships may have had a barber-surgeon. A barber-surgeon? Are you going to see your barber-surgeon to that? I've got an appointment. What's it for? Key-hole, actually. Yeah.

Key-hole and short back-and-side. Yeah. I need a full mosectomy, and I thought I'd go to see my barber. Well, luckily, this... While you're down there, you can just cut my tits off. This East London barber's got this new thing where he also do... We could also do intense bowel surgery. Wendy's most important deal of the day has a fresh lineup.

Pick any two breakfast items for $4. New four-piece French toast sticks, bacon or sausage wrap, biscuit or English muffin sandwiches, small hot coffee and more. Limited time only at participating Wendy's taxes extra. So they raid Lindisfarne, they set it on fire. They kill monks. Slat him on the head. I'm trying to give a soundscape.

Ah! The thing, weird thing about, you know, the thing about, about a Norse is a very friendly language. Yes. Who de morgue? Who de morgue? Yeah. So these terrible Aryan mad.

Flutty, flutte. Eight foot guys. Yeah. Ha-loor. You-hoo. Big summer blow out. Have you seen frozen? Yeah.

Yeah. So it's those guys. Big summer blow out. I mean, that makes it more terrifying. Do you think? Yeah. When you hear. Like a clown.

Yeah, but if they're like, they've got an axe, they're set in fire and they're raping and pillaging. And it's like, hello. Hello. Imagine that. Terrifying as they come up there. I'm going to wrap you. Uh-oh.

Big summer black, blow you out your back. Big summer black blow out. Big summer, blow you back out. That's what those are Vikings are doing. Old English, because these guys are Saxons, right?

Who are? The monks. Yeah. Can we get some old English up? Old English. It's like fluid here. So this is 9th, 8th century. Yeah.

Old English. So it's sort of like the sims. Yeah, so it's sort of like the Sims. Come on, schnana. Degg. Yeah. So the sat for a scoundscape for our listeners, which we always said we're trying to do on this podcast.

There's monsk going flit. So you do the monks. Yeah. Funn't it or the herbalology. Oh, no. Big summer blow your back on. Oh, my head, do you. Flutty, hootty, blotty.

No, food. No, food. Ah! The float and the hurt and the hurt and the float. my flautty-hurtie, flautty-hurtie! That was a rape and pillage Viking raid on Linda's farm.

Right, did we just do an act out of you raping me? Right. In Old English. Yeah. And Norse. I guess that's all right. What do you mean? What do you mean?

We're trying to make this vivid. This happened, you know, thousands of years ago. We're trying to make it vivid for our thick listeners. Yeah. They can't picture this. What is it? Also, you are, I mean, if anyone's getting, like, you're, you're not going to rape him. Yeah, it's true.

Come on. Come on. Yeah. But, yeah, I just, we just didn't act up where I was a month getting raped. Don't love that. Yeah, they will. Don't love that. I didn't love that. Well, of course not.

But it's acting. Yeah, I guess so. You had to, you know, be in the... What are you going to do? Were you going to fucking go and do one of those cans panel, will they complain about how they were, they didn't like filming it? Got raped at work. You're going to complain about that.

I didn't say that. it was a rape act out at work where's that in the HR code oh it was to pretend it anyway that's the terrifying raid on Linda's farm which we have rendered I think fantastically well

for the listener yeah we need to bring in more sound skates I've always said this maybe we went too far too soon but from this point on the Vikings they start persistent raids on the British Isles

they sort of terrified offend is it, it's just loads of booty. There's loads of booty. There's loads of monks. Yeah. And now we need, a lot of them are supposedly the Vikings like eight foot tall. I don't think so. Well, this is what everyone...

I reckon they were tiny. There's a thing that says in one of the only surviving texts from this time, the what's it called the Poetic Edda, which is the thing they found in Iceland, which says that a Viking king was five L's. And an L would, basically,

Basically, that would mean that he was eight and a half foot in today's thing. But that's built with myth. That's the giant thing. Well, this is what I mean. It's quite hard to separate the myth from what actually happened. I'm just thinking for trying to get protein. I just don't think it's easy. Well, this is what I don't understand is that you envision a Viking now

and there's this huge, broad-chested guy, blonde, beard, huge muscles holding like a club or an axe. I'm like, how the fuck are they, you know, people are only doing that now because of, like, creativity. Yeah, yeah. These guys are eating stinky fish. Yeah. Like, they're fermenting fish.

These guys are like five foot five and then the monks are like 4.11. But their Vikings also have a huge thing about dwarfs. They love it. They love dwarfs. Right. Like they found, in Norway, they found a dwarf burial site

and they could tell because it was like a kid with the two big a head or whatever. Yeah. And they were like, they were buried like respectfully with lots of stuff around them. And they think that dwarves were like blacksmiths and craftsmen.

Like Gimley? Well, that's where all this stuff is what Tolkien base is. it on, right? So there's probably never been a better time. I think dwarves had never been more respected than in Viking Age. Well, have you seen the recent controversy of Laminia Mao for his 18th birthday had got, was it like 10 dwarfs he got to the? Yeah, he brought 10 dwarfs out.

And then the dwarf to the woods? Yeah, that's where his party was. Yeah. So he's cut, and to be honest, doing, studying a lot of history for this podcast, the amount that like dwarves crop up in recreational settings. Yes. Like dwarfs being used in a party setting is a long history. Yeah, it's a tough one because the dwarf union came out and said, this is terrible.

Dwarf union. They've unionised. Thatcher didn't smash the dwarf unions. Close the mines. Close the miners. It's an interesting world because I think a lot of dwarfs, the woke backlash against dwarfs being used in comedy, has put loads of them at a job. Yes. It's the same as grid girls.

Yeah. Formula One, they got rid of the girls that would waive the thing. I don't have any qualifications. Yeah, and they're like, I'm thick. What do you want me to do now? Now I'm thick and poor. You've made my life worse. It's a tricky one.

It's not tricky. No. It's choice. Well, you think it's chucking dwarfs at dartboards. Yeah, but it's a job. It's not capturing a dwarf and chucking them at a board. Yeah. Is it?

I mean, I can't do it. It's a guy who can't do any other job, so it has to be chucked at a dark board. That's the free market. I mean, I wouldn't do it. The invisible hand. It is the invisible hand, lifting up the dwarf and throwing up at a dark board. I mean, I don't think I'd do it.

It would feel weird to do it. But I wouldn't say you can't do that. I see it like when you see someone firing a gun in like a shooting range in America. I'd be like that would probably be really fun. Yeah. Yeah. But it shouldn't be in a school. A guy shouldn't pick up a dwarf and go around

to school and throw it at the fat kiss. Yeah, it should be like bankers letting off steam. Yes, exactly. But dwarves are highly respected. in Viking the Viking Age. It's the best time to be a dwarf. I think so. Yeah.

And there's also a huge thing. The dwarf unions never been stronger. Never been stronger. Right. It's been downhill for dwarfs since then. And it wasn't a high peak. Yeah. So the politically correct term is little person,

which is far more demeaning than dwarf. Yeah, it really is. Yeah. Little person. Yeah. Fuck off. Yeah. I'm a dwarf.

Dwarf has an element of like power to it. Like a power dwarf. Yeah. Dan Rath has that great bit about dwarfs is the only thing that's in the spiritual realm and the real world. Yeah. it's like it's the spiritual medium like they're the only thing

that are both mystical and real yeah well in in Viking in Viking mythology we should talk about what the Vikings believed actually but Vikings have a big there's kind of

they're more goblins I think but they call them dwarfs in that they're more like sort of conniving well a lot of the Lord of the Rings builds in a lot of the Norse kind of stuff so the idea of don't go into the forest

there's elves there and elves might kill you because elves are naughty I think and elves they're still gone about elves in Iceland today They all go, I mean, it's obviously just a tourist thing, but we should talk about what they believe. Right.

Because that, the kind of, I listened to some quite interesting stuff presented by some deeply, deeply troubled looking people. Troubled looking. Right. I look to them and I go, my God. Problematic looking. I really hope. I'm really glad I don't live your life. That's what I thought.

I'm an empath. Yeah. Is that what empathy is? Yeah, I think so. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. That's not that far off, actually. Yeah.

So this guy was talking about the Viking mindset and you've got to get into the fact that the reason they were such terrifying warriors. The Viking mindset sounds like an Instagram page that's posting motivational things. Yeah, but this is, this is the original grinds. This is like a massive guy on a fucking podcast telling you to wear mouth tape.

Yeah, that is the Viking mindset. So they're massive and they're ripped, but again, we don't really know how because they were eating fish, not creatine, but anyway. This is pre-Christian. Before the Christianity rounded off the edges, this is the great thing about paganism,

is that you get so many unique, strange belief systems that's completely different from each other and it feels just Christianity completely just smooths off all the edges. So they're all about the fates. Yeah. And they think that everyone's going to die. They know, they're like very comfortable.

It's a fatalistic system, essentially. Because Ragnarok is a reckoning. Yeah, so you have, you have, we're going to do, we'll do a patron special in North mythology, but you have essentially you have Odin, who is the god, the called the old father. but that more than anything how they saw Odin was basically the god of the mind

so thoughts were Odin so it was Odin was the representative of your kind of cerebral brain basically and then you what a warrior did which is basically how you were judged in in Norse society was how good you were at fighting

how useful you were yeah which is why I think they're like dwarves because they're like fucking they're not going to expect and they got a low center of gravity yeah put me in a catapult so so they you want to

to do was going to to die with honor yeah you were going to die that was a given but i also understand dying with honor if life is that shit i do think dying with honor i can see it being quite appealing yeah so if you died with honor you would get to valhalla yeah which is the hall odin's hall of warriors it was basically like a weather spoons yeah maybe it was like a beer hall yeah a beer hall push it's like a just you're permanently at the pub basically you're basically permanently in the pub but i know loads of people at my local who basically live that life vikings well they're just local alcoholics who are always in the time. They're dying in a chair. They're drowning in the bath. No, they're not dying with honour, but I'm saying the Valhalla dream is that you're

basically in the hall of warriors drinking beer forever. Yeah, but I know people who do that in real life and it's very sad. But it's not forever though, is it? The most honorable warriors in Valhalla, Odin's keeping for Ragnarok where the gods all fight and the world ends. Oh, right. So you're, you die with honor in on earth, which by the way, they think's made out of a corpse. They think Earth's made out of a corpse. Yeah, we'll get into it. but it's wild. But then Odin then takes all the warriors to fight the other gods.

Well, that's why the Avengers uses Viking, so many Viking references is because that is literally an Avengers plot line, right? Yeah, I must say I don't, I'm not, any marble stuff I'm not into. Assembling a team of superheroes to fight off the end of the world. Yeah, that's like a...

That's like... All comes to North mythology. Yeah. Anyway, so you wanted to die. And if you didn't die with honor, you'd go to what's, it's called, they call it hell, but just one L.

But it's not bad. It's just like, it's just the office. You know, it's nothing, it's like, oh, another day.

Well, it's just like, oh, you're a pussy. Yeah. You just live a boring. It's boring. It's like purgatory,

basically. But it's only Christians that have the, the fires and the, oh, and, you know, or the devil-tongued.

But they, yes, they act in a world where they think it's all going to, it's crushing towards an end. So there's a guy called Ragnar Lothbrock, who is kind of semi-mythical. Right.

But what isn't mythical is that his sons come to the UK, or England, as it was then, and Angora, London. It was Angar Lane, but I can't hear about that. Yeah. And they,

Ragnall Lothbrock is captured supposedly by the king, whatever the fuck, of England, and he's thrown into a pit of venomous snakes, and what he says, as he's thrown into the pit, is, oh, my piggies are going to squeal when they hear about this.

And what apparently this means is my son's going to come fuck you up. Right. And he, like, goes into the pit laughing at the idea of his pigs, his sons, back in Norway and at the idea of avenging his death. So you're like, it's laughing, shall I die. There's a big book about that because they're just loving. They love it.

They love death. Yeah. I mean, I guess it's a comedic culture. I think their idea of what's funny is quite different to what we find funny. Yeah, it is. Because I think what they find funny is their own head being chopped off. Well, so, yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Brilliant. I'm dead. Yeah. Yeah. There is that. I get stabbed 13 times by other men. So suicide's not tragedy to them. No, because it's glorious. Suicide would be bad. It's being killed by other people. That's funny. Yeah. But it's not like, I'm so miserable. I'm going to slip my wrist. It's not that.

No, it's not. To be honest, they don't have a suicidal culture because in Japan, in Rome, the honourable thing is to kill yourself. But then you know, we found out that thing called death by cop. I can't remember when we found that out. Death by cop? Yeah, it's when you try... Mel Gibson. We did it on the page you about Mel Gibson. Yeah, you could do suicide where you just...

Yeah. Yeah, suicide by cop where you purposely provoking and the police officers into shooting you. Yeah, yeah. That's kind of what they do. So this is this great story about how these, these Vikings are captured in Dorset. And again, it's very funny to think of a beheading happening in Dorset, but that's... There's a different time. Different time.

Yeah. I mean, we can't make that clear enough. This is the sort of ninth century. Yeah. Not modern day Dorset, which is a toilet. Yeah. That's not fair. It's got elements of quite nice. Anyway, not the point.

Not the point. This is not Finn v. Dorset. But it very nearly was. I saw it in your eyes. I was like, should we do an episode on Dorset? I'm not doing an episode on Dorset. Anyway,

these Vikings are captured and they're lined up, they're sat kneeling down to be beheaded. They love it. And they're like, it's literally like the cue for Bonnie Blue. Yeah. They're like,

they can't wait. And then one of them says like, oh, can you hold my, hold my long hair so I don't get blood on my hair when you behead me. But with a very rise, smiles.

They're all like Roger Moore. Just insane puns in the face of dumb. Insane Danish Roger Moore. And then, so one of the, one of the captors holds this guy's hair and like a knot and he's leading forward, got his hair. And then just as the axe is about to come down to behead him, he snaps his head back. And then dragging the guy's hands forward to the blade cut the guy's hands off. And then the captor, the king, finds it so funny that he lets all the Vikings go.

And then the guy holding the hand, is he laughing as well? is he like is he like you fucking got me you got me never gonna wank again no because they're not like the English aren't laughing

they're English oh fuck oh fuck it oh no those are my hands he's like Mark Goldbridge oh come on again

another one both hands both hands I need both hands but for God's sake that's what he's doing and the Vikings are just laughing yeah

love it. There's also stories of like that whole thing that's now very cinematic in Games of Thrones or whatever where a king kills everyone and there's one guy left and he goes, oh, you need to swear allegiance to me. Here's the sword to swear allegiance with and the guy just stabs the king. Right. And then obviously gets killed straight away. But it's like that kind of twist of fate.

They call it wit in a way. Right. That clear sighted thing. So like a kind of like, I don't know, Paul Merton on, have I got news for you? Is it a dolphin in the bathtub? That sort of wit. I guess so. I mean, this is earlier

Viguan was for you, isn't it? Before I got soft. That Viking was next to Ian Islam, I think. I think he was on Ian's team when that happened. Yeah, so there's also, we should talk about berserkers, which is the crazy,

this is a theory as to why they were so fucking terrifying, Vikings. Yeah, because it's interesting, with Vikings, it's basically, like, even though, I guess they were so bloodthirsty

it was all just like burning and pillaging and destroying things, there is such a, like, allure to them in the modern. age because they're they just I guess they're so sick

they're so masculine yeah there's something like and you compare with the ancient Greeks they're actually quite unique as well I think that their whole worldview and everything yeah I don't think there's lots of similarities well the Iceland the reason Iceland is so distinct is because it was there was no people there before the Vikings arrived and then it hasn't

it was Christianised peacefully and then it hasn't really ever changed no like Europe it was you know you I mean you I'm inside my wife won't stop going on about it is amazing yeah it looks It's just like a... I think she was born in an egg there, maybe. Right.

It came out of a volcano. It's like a mistake by God because it doesn't look like anywhere else. Yeah. And it looks like God sneezed, basically. Right. And it's just like such strange... It'd be like landscapes where it's just all

perfectly sized rocks in a field covered in a layer of... Oh, stonehenge? Sort of. Oh, we got that. But yeah, no, what are you saying? Well, I was just saying, you know something about the origin of Iceland, right? And there was a king... There was a Norwegian king who got exiled or something.

And then he went to... Iceland and he brought loads of Vikings over. Because of the long ships, it meant that they could basically, not only could they raid, but it meant there was amazing migrations that happened. That's how they colonised Iceland.

But they also went to Greenland and they travelled very far. They sell early settlements on Greenland but also the Greenland Vikings, even though it was quite a short-lived civilization, they are said to be the first people.

to Europeans to go to America. Yeah, they went to Canada. They went to Canada. So it was actually before Columbus. And they called it Vinland. Did they? Canada. Right.

Yeah. Because they grew wine there. What? So in like an all-star battle of like Vikings, cowboys, Aztecs, uh, everyone,

Mayans. Yeah, it's like, is Mario Super Smash Bros. Who, do you think Vikings win? I think it's quite funny that you put cowboys in there. Yeah.

Because cowboys like centuries later and have guns. No, but history is great as hits. Yeah. Well, we're not put the Nazis in like a Bayblade sort of, in like a Bayblade sort of, Dome.

Right, well, one V-1, I guess. Vikings, well, well, if we're talking about berserkers... Samarize versus... If we're talking about berserkers, which we should talk about, then Vikings are winning every time. Because what a berserker is, so this is where you get the phrase going berserk. Right.

Because the berserker with these units, sort of like Viking special forces, or like the SS or something. Sort of. S-A-S is like well-organized. No, I said the SS. Oh, the SS. Sorry.

Come on. Special soldiers. Yeah, yeah. Super, super soldiers. Yeah. they would supposedly, we don't know how they did this, but they would get into this alternate state,

this trance, where, and they sort of wear like a bear skin or a wolf head with no armor. Yeah. And they would just go fucking ape shit. Yeah. With like a club.

And now supposedly, maybe they took mushrooms. I think, yeah. It's quite, it feels quite like cokey. They drunk the blood of bears. Yeah. They were then outlawed later

in like once it was Christianized because they were just too, They were too mental. Yeah. But they weren't even... Calm down. They weren't even like... They'd be like...

Every Viking invasion would have like a few of them. Yeah. And at one point they'd be like, I'd just let them go. And then these fucking... They're furries. They're dressed in like furry things.

Go... It's terrifying. That's why I mean we need to weaponise furies. Well, yeah. These are terrifying these guys, but they're not trying to fuck you. A furrow is a sex thing? I never know what furies.

They are sort of. It's kind of blended. It's a community as well. But most communities... But communities now, it means people who want to want to on fuck. Yeah, I guess it's not like the 50s

where a community was like the green grocer and the woman at the W.I. No, it's not. It's definitely not like that. Communities now, like I want to dress up like a squirrel and fuck a badger. There's a lot of fucking, but there's also The world's gone down the toilet.

It's like fine. We might have got into this to fuck animals but also it was about the friends we made along the way. I think that's sort of the vibe of furries. Right. You know, we came into this because we have weird sexual stuff about animals.

But that is what it is, right? But now I met you, you're a friend for life. What, a badger? Yeah, another badger. Right. I came in here this would be a speech

at a furry conference I came in here trying to fuck a squirrel and I left with a new friend Anyway the Vikings have these insane drugged up furries

Go on a Fusona Go on the Wikipedia of Fursona Is that your furry persona Your Fusona What would your Fusona be Is a personally claimed persona resembling All right

Anthropimorphic animal Yeah I mean Christ These are adults Have you ever seen a furry I saw one in Tottenon Court Road In the flesh No, terrifying, no. I don't believe they exist. I would try and shoot it. What I find funny is the idea that in like Victorian London, there was a guy who wishes he was a furry, but there was just

no language for it. Oh, so you see it as like an innate thing that's only just been allowed to be let out. Well, it's it's it. I don't know what it is, but if it's funny, it's like transgender. It'd be funny to think of it like that. Yeah. So there was a guy in Victoria London who was just dressing up like a pig, like in secret. And everyone thought, that guy's a bit weird, isn't it? The idea hasn't moved. That queer is weird, isn't it? The Overton window hasn't. No.

Anyway, the Vikings... This is when the furies were not autistic losers. They were terrible. No, these were alpha furies. If you can imagine such a thing. If you can imagine insane, like, dressed in a fucking bear head. They'd get a bear skin and they'd wear that. Because they'd get so mad they would literally kill anyone.

Yeah. They'd kill their own team. They'd kill their own team. They'd just attack animals. They'd, like, cut a dog in half. It's crazy. They'd go fucking bananas. Yeah.

So that's where you get this phrase going berserk Because they'd enter the state They're fired up They were pumped up They're David Cameron At the election It pumps me up He's a conservative

He's a conservative berserk He's a conservative berser Yeah It pumps me up What the election was that 2015? So this is when Cameron became a berserker

An English berserker This is an English conservative berserker This is about as much as it gets Okay This is going to be terrifying Coming into Downing Street Cowering

What they've done Often giving a up a well paid career taking a risk having a punt having a go that pumps me up that's it that's it's a camera going to be right at the front of the army just everyone in suits with the sleeves everyone's like hold back don't release the berserker cat the Cameron berserker and they're just coming and it pumps me up and that's it right I'm going to go home now and then you get shot in the head of yeah anyway should we talk about burials yeah I guess I mean well there's an incredible so what we haven't about really is how much they travel.

We're going to do that more in the next episode. So they settle Iceland and Greenland and then Newfoundland. They found Dublin. And what they do in England is they, if you think about the map from a Norwegian perspective, they basically go in like a straight line across England to Ireland. So there's like a corridor that they colonise. They go diagonally down. They go to York, Yorvik Viking Museum.

Yorovic, York Viking Museum. Yeah. And they sort of, so I guess if you're thinking about why, are northerners so different to southerners. Right. A lot of it is because they've got more Viking blood than we do. And why Cornwall such an outliers? Because they weren't really touched by

it. So they're pure Celts. Yeah. They're pure Britons. They're all that. Right. Because Celts are and Vikings are right. You know? And then Saxons are like am. Yeah. I'm actually that's a saxon. So you do a map of Britain.

Yeah. The genetic makeup of white British people is made up fundamentally of four parts right it's made up of Celts so that's Ireland the reaches of Scotland Cornwall yeah Wells it's made of a Vikings

it's kind of more the east coast of Scotland the north yeah and then you've got Normans and Saxons no you've got gypsies yes I guess and fight your mother

yeah okay so there's five and then the Saxons which is Ham yeah Excuse me The autism comes from Saxon. Yeah, it's the Germanic. Germanic, counting things,

shepherding things, putting them in places. So that's most of the southeast is kind of... That's the southeast, yeah. And then the further west you go, the further kind of Kelter, you get. Right. And then the further north is more... Right.

And then the further kind of up towards Scotland than Ireland and there's the more like, I kind of fight you're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's that. And then the posh southerners are Normans. Yes. Which are descended from Vikings.

Are they? Did you know this? So, this is. it's very funny in in um there's a guy called Rollo and he was a

Viking who conquered because they go to Rolo they go down and conquer France or Frankia as it is then and in 9-11 the original 9-11

the year 9-11 France Frankia give Rolo the Normandy and it's called Normandy because it's Norseman D

oh right so that right is where Normandy is a Viking Column and then when we'll get to it later but in 1066 when the Norman successfully invade the Vikings are involved in that before which we'll get to the next episode but William the Conqueror is Norman i.e. is a Viking is great great great great granddad is Viking because you'd agree

the Norman the Norman the Norman vibe is Norman Norman Norman Norman Norman Norman Yeah no Norman's here oh brilliant oh guys now we can start Norman's here Norman's it finally right we can start we can what are they starting bridge I don't know you know, trains, fucking Settlers of Catan. We're having a

gaming night. We can't start to Normans gone berserk. Norm's gone berserk. He's put a bear outfit on. He's trying to

fuck John. They don't feel very French to me, the Normans. No, they feel like, well, they're Viking.

They're kind of the alpha French in a way. Yeah, exactly. They're actually autistic French, which is quite a brutal combo.

Sort of can't each other out. It's a double negative. But anyway, so they found Dublin, and they found

cork. And then they also go east towards which we talked about in the Russian Revolution History episode. They go down a lot of those rivers and set up like trading and slaving routes basically but they set up the Kievan Rus which is kind of the birthplace

of kind of the Ukraine and Russia and then they set up they go down to Constantinople which is like what's happening in the West because since the fall of Rome this is kind of like the 70s. It's like 400 years. It's like been strikes. Anything's up for grabs

We don't know what's going to happen. We're waiting for big mummy Maggie to come and wake us up. That's Christianity, basically. Maggie! Yeah. But this kind of period, why it kind of all blurs into one, is because it's all fallen to shit after the Romans have collapsed. And it's before, like, I don't know.

Charlemagne, when's Charlemagne? Charlemagne is around 900. Because it's the Holy Roman Empire. Yeah. Which is part of the reason that the Vikings get Christianized is because of political. But before it kind of really gets into the Middle Ages, There's this period where you've got Vikings. It's like no one knows how to read.

You know, it's like, it's all over the place in the West. But in Constantinople, it's like the golden age still. Yes, yes, please, my friend, please. My friend, but it's like. Very good, very good price. It's never been better to be one of these guys. Yeah. But they have a lot of mercenaries who joined the Varangian Guard,

which is like an elite force of Vikings in Istanbul. Yeah, so it's like, and these fuckers are meant to be eight foot tall, the Varangian Guard. But they're not eight foot tall, are they? Well, maybe they're like six. foot. They're not anti. I don't think there'd be... Charlie's got a photograph of Andy Fordham, the darts player, the Viking, who

I think has lost a lot of weight, or maybe died. He's one of the two. I guess it's the same. I just don't imagine there's a kind of anyone who's six foot back in these days, right? But I think, you know, Danes Norse people are... That's why... They're the tallest people in the world. You're not heard about the fucking Icelander who just broke

the world record for deadlifting. Yeah, but that's now. 500 kilograms. He's got modern protein. Yeah, but he's got Norse. They're tallest for then, but It's still, yeah. Listen, this podcast does not believe in creatine. It believes in scientific racism. Yes.

And in the world of scientific racism, Norse is top. Norse is the Trump card. This is what Hitler tried to prove. Yeah, you try to link him. Try to link Norse mythology. Yeah. Because Nazis didn't have like a, you know, the barbarians, the Germanic tribes. Yeah.

The way we frame that in Christendom is that they were uncivilized, like, I tell of the Hun, all this stuff, hordes of people who were thick, ugly. And doesn't work with the Nazi thing. So the Nazi tried to attach their kind of prehistory to the Vikings and the Norse. And so that's why there's a Viking SS division. That's why the SS Logal is Viking Rooms. That's why they uncovered a, what's now Denmark, they uncovered a Viking settlement. They tried to make that like a Nazi thing.

So the Germanic people, the Aryan race, that's all Norse people. But also the interest in North. Because they're tall. But I think the Norse mythology, as well, the appeal for Northern Europeans is that because most mythology that they were being taught was like Roman and Greek. Middle Eastern.

Middle Eastern. It's in the Greek highlands. It's in the shade of an olive tree with beautiful clear water. That's not us. When you hear the Norse thing and you're like, yeah, there's a fucking massive giant smashing a forest full of trees, fucking mountains. Yeah, yeah. That's our landscape. I look

out the window and that makes sense to me. A guy drinking a bear's head of blood and then going fucking mental. That's Saturday night. I get it. I get it. That makes sense me finally. You're talking to me as a Protestant. It's not all these kind of these fruity guys wearing togas. Yeah, asleep most of the day. I don't get it. I'm out. I don't get it. I've got to understand it. Put it in a language I can understand. Tall men with hammers. Giant throwing dwarves at fucking mountains.

Exactly. Giants using dwarfs as entertainment at a party. Now I get it. Something I do like about the Norse worldview is because obviously it feels like a very masculine world, right? Yes. And it feels like it would be tough to be a woman. But it's tough to be a woman everywhere. But what I liked about the way that they, to be fair, at this time. And it should be. It should be.

The way they viewed women was more magical than men. They have a more, they have their connection to the supernatural is more pure. Right. So obviously in this world where it's all about being a warrior king, what have they left for women? More about the girl bosses. But they did give them something. It wasn't like they were completely left just to be nothing. They were seen as basically these magical sorcerers.

Right. Which I think kind of builds into your worldview as well. that they're people Black magic Yeah, they're witches They're something Nowadays we say hormones But I call it black magic still

But they did view that That basically Women had like a higher intelligence When it came to like Magic and the Supernatural But practically they were all over the place Yeah Couldn't park

Yeah They were actually farmers though That's one of the things The boring historians go Well actually The Vikings were farmers Before they were anything Yeah

Because again that's the We view the Vikings as race Because we were the victims of them. So we only saw their most insane cunts. Yeah, exactly. There's loads of just like

fucking Swedish farmers. So that's why they're now IKEA and Bjork because that's who they actually are. But we only saw their mad as cuss because they're the only ones Well, I guess Greta is their madest cun now.

Yeah, to be fair, she's travelling around. She's knocking about, isn't she? She's on long ships. She's on long ships. Yeah. Also, the Vikings never had horns on their helmets.

Yeah, I found that quite disappointing. Disappointing. That was like a big part. Yeah. They just had helmets. They just looked like, yeah. But they did have big axes and clubs and swords. So they got that.

Now, well, that's interesting, Charlie. Charlie's just brought up, he's Google, did Vikings wipe their bottoms? There's a primary source that says they didn't. And we, I think there's a primary source. Right. Is it a guy saying, I don't wipe my arse? Because then Charlie is a primary source for this age as a man who doesn't wipe his arse either. Yes, that's true.

I'm a Viking. Yeah, yeah, in a way. something you definitely that what you're saying other possibilities include discarded rope or snow i do snow if it was snowing don't eat brown snow is that down snow don't eat down snow don't don't know you get down snowdrum um that's how you get down snowdrum very hard to say it's it's very cruel that like like people who have lisp can't say the word lisp yeah people with dan snowdrum can't say down snowdrum yeah anyway my point is is that there's a primary source of a um a Muslim missionary

called, can you, what's it called Iban something? Sadiq Khan. It's not Sadiq Khan. This is not a primary source from Sadiq's Londonistan.

There's an envoy from Baghdad, a Muslim guy, who's sent to spread Islam. He's sent from Baghdad to go and be a Muslim missionary for the Slavic tribes. But at this point,

this is in, I want to say this is in the late 10th century, something like that. At this point, the Vikings have gone all the way down that river the russ the vulgar they've set all these settlements up and they're down in i don't know where it would be bulgaria fucking who gives a shit anyway this guy what he sees is one of the most fucked things that i mean it's still pretty it's pretty fruity to listen to on the rest

history yeah his his account of the viking funeral for a chief yeah and i think we should leave this episode here and in our next episode we will open with the brutal right Terrifying. Very, very naughty. Well, it was a reverse thing. In the way that you have Tommy Robinson talking about what's going on in Saudi Arabia or Islam. Yeah. It's the flip where they're going back.

Because this is the Islamic Golden Age. This is where they're into science. That's what I mean. Then they're going to those fucking white people. There's a source. There's a source for this guy. Ibn Fadlan. They're always Ibns.

Yeah. All the nosy Muslims of the sage are Ibis. Ninth is the year 921, I've been wiping my ass. I've been fed in my ass. I've been wiping my ass, yeah. I've been wiping my ass is watching a Viking burial in the Volga, in the Volga river, right? And what he sees, one of the things that's thing he says, when he reports back is, these are the dirtiest of all Allah's creatures. They don't, they don't wash after shitting.

They don't wash after sex. They don't wash after pissing. So it's Muslim Tommy Robinson. He is Muslim Tommy Robinson saying how uncivilized us whites are. And to be fair, he has a point. He has a strong point here. Right. He's going back to

Londonistan thinking, fucking hell. You won't believe what they're doing in white Russia. It's awful. It's a toilet. Yeah.

Anyway, we will leave details of the actual burial, terrible burial, for the next episode, which is already on our Patreon, where for three pounds a month, you can become a truther.

Yep. Which is now recognized by the BMA as a medical condition. If you do it, You will make your money back with the free laptop you get. Yeah, you get extra time and exams. It's adjacent to Dan Snowdrum. So sign up and get a free laptop and you can park wherever you want.

This has been Vikings part one. We'll see you for part two. Bye-bye. See you next time. Thank you.