Fin vs History - The Belgrano was a War Fine | Margaret Thatcher & The Falklands (Part 3/6)

Episode Date: December 26, 2025

This episode of Fin vs History is brought to you by Surfshark and Frive.     Secure your privacy with Surfshark! Enter coupon code FVH for an extra 4 months at ⁠https://surfshark.com/fvh   Go to Frive.co.uk/fvh to get 45% off your first box  Thatcher starts performing as a Drag King Winston Churchill and unleashes the British Task Force, armed to the teeth with cutouts of Page 3 Models.   The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened.   For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon  ⁠patreon.com/fintaylor CHAPTERS: 00:00 - It’s War!   05:38 - Deploy the our boys  8:42 - The Empire Strikes Belly   14:11 - The Country get behind mummy     18:48 - Freedomo Flotilla  21:27 - The Andrew formally known as Prince    27:59 - A War Fine   31:20 - The Sun misjudge the vibe   38:25 - The French get involved   41:11 - Operation Narwal   44:33 - Old man goin home!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Get the yes you've been waiting for at Capital One.ca.ca. Terms and conditions apply. Welcome back to Finn versus history. It's war. I'm with the race show called. Hello. This is our, what is this is part three of... The Empire Strikes Back. Part three of Thatcher and the Falklands.

We're in the heat of war. The Argentines, those slippery gaucho fucks. have invaded our islands. Those filthy argyes. They're on our border, our southern border. And Argy-Bargy in the South Atlantic. And there is shock in London

following Governor Hunt, that brave man with an ostrich feather, his surrender in Port Stanley. And what does Mummy say? What does Mummy say? Mummy is up at the crack of dawn as usual. And is this a quote from her right here? Yes.

Six from six a.m. I could not believe it. There is what our people, our islands. Our people are. our islands. Now the Foreign Secretary immediately resigns.

Fair enough. It never happens anymore. Is it because he should have been protecting them? Or is it the job's too big for him? I think it's just that... That's quite embarrassing. He says he takes full responsibility

for failure to force the invasion. Okay, fair enough. Is this Lord Carrington, who I believe is one of the best foreign secretaries supposedly that we ever have? Really? He's meant to be like top talent

and he immediately resigns. Fair enough. Because of some... A gentleman. Because some scrap metal dealers have taken South Georgia. And he goes, right, I can't, I can't go on.

I can't carry on. Nowadays, I should kill myself. He's generally, he, he, career spookoo. Lord Carrington. A war cabinet is formed within hours. Wow. Thatcher is immediately her, the hairs are standing on the back of her neck. She's fucking fizzing.

She's born for this. Her knickers are fizzing. Fizzy pants, Thatcher. Yeah. She's got a fucking baroque her in her, in her big pants. Thatcher only wears big pants. Thatcher wears the biggest of big pants, I think. And then maybe a light peach colors for sexy time

with frills at the bottom Like that's her lingerie What are you doing? What are you doing here? I'm meant to be podcasting. Excuse me. Excuse me. This stick is not for turning.

This dick is not for rising. Yeah, Charlie, can you find the sort of biggest pants possible because that's what I imagine that's just wearing it. Right, so is this like Dennis's birthday? No, no, these aren't sexy pants. These are mummy every day. Oh, no, these are war pants, fine. War pants.

Everyday mum pants, you know, when women give birth, they're the size of their pants increases. It's kind of like that. Yeah, that's mummy's pants. But do you think there's like a curve of like, because obviously thong is sexy and then it gets the bigger the pant is. You think it comes round again? I think it gets really sexy.

Horseshoes doing. Once it becomes like massive, it's kind of sexy. It's like farm mummy, sexy, uh, she's got a, what's the least sexy size of pants? Leasey is kind of like somewhere in the middle when it's like neither a thong nor like

mad parachute. Mad parachute. So just normal pants. I like parachute. Thatcher is going to parachute over the for holding her pants. Yeah. I think Thatcher puts on

a different pair of pants for when she declares war. I think she has a draw and they're all labelled and she pulled it out and there's a special war cabinet. She's got a whore cabinet and she's got a war cabinet.

And they're very similar. Yes. It's just one slightly pinker. Yeah. That's it. Shades. And it's a faded peach, actually. Shades of apricot.

Apricot pants. Apricot pants. Early intelligence is uncertain. One report wrongly claimed that there are hundreds of Argentine casualties. I mean, who's reporting that? I don't know. Governor Hunt maybe? Charlie.

Now, the Ministry of Defence scramble to get maps that have the Falkland Islands on them. Yes. That's how much these islands are British. Yeah. In that it takes colonial era 19th century hydrographic charts to find where the fuck the Falklands are. Where are they? I want them back. Thatcher says, if they're invaded, we have got to. to get them back.

We can't, her defence secretary says. Defense secretary, pussy. Absolute wet, John Not. Come on. Thatcher asks the first sea lord Sir Henry Leach, Can we do it? And Leach says, we can, Prime Minister. And though it's not my business to say so,

we must. If we do not, or if we pussyfoot in our actions, and do not achieve complete success, we shall be living in a totally different country whose word will count for little. I mean, he's not wrong. To be fair to it. Fires me up.

Leach stood up. Fuck, yeah, Jack Leach. I like the way he's basically saying, I shouldn't say this. I'm about to drop a truth, problem. Yeah. And if, and if you disagree,

I'll also puking myself. Yeah. In the UN, Resolution 502 passes 10 to 1. Panama vote against. Which you know what? Nook, nuke them. Fuck them.

Fuck Panama. I think we nuke Panama before even Argentina just to, you know, send a signal. What even are you? You're a canal and you're a hat. You're a fucking canal. You're a fucking canal, mate. Yeah.

You shouldn't even be in the United Nations. You're a canal. You're a commuter town. Yeah, exactly. Why have we not got... What, has Venice got a seat in the UN, does it? Yeah, let's make the canal bigger. Birmingham.

Yeah, bomb it. Bomb Panama. How, what was the score when England played Panama on the wake up? So I think these hats are bringing out of sides to us. Bomb Pan. I was like, A1. I was on pills. I hadn't slept and I was on the X-DIC.

What in the World Cup? This one. Every single time I looked at the screen, there was a goal. And it was the best game of football I've ever seen. It was the first time I've been watching the game where people have got sort of bored of the... when the goals were coming. I remember that.

It's never happened. It's like, I was fucking flying. And then Harry Kane scored the worst hat trick of all time. Two pens and then once someone kicked the ball against his heel

and it went in. Yeah. Resolution 502 passes. It calls for the immediate cessation of hostilities. The withdrawal of the Argentinians and a return to the negotiation but the Argentine,

they ignore it. Ignore it. Ghost us. They do. And it was in red. Within 48 hours, Thatcher authorizes the deployment of forces. Yeah.

She, as a young girl, She is obsessed with Churchill. Right. She fucking love Winston. Yeah. And this is her moment. Green flag, I'd say. Hey?

Someone who's obsessed with Churchill from a young age. Oh, right. So green flag? What? Insurance. Yeah, that's the first thing I thought of. But is that a joke or is that a saying green flag? No, it's something that people say.

What's a yellow flag? Like, she hate... That's what I want to know. She loves kissing, but she hates me. Me. The brown flag about her. Charlie is that he's shat on my white flag. Yeah.

Wow. Now, bear in mind, that's just called for the deployment. She says, right, we're going in. Boys. Boys. Go in. This is when she starts calling the troops,

our boys. Yeah. This is the mummy, the myth, the legend. Everyone is evading with a rock on. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah.

The big, the big general milf. They all, they come in their squadrons. They see her, get in a direction, turn around and go to the Falklands. They all do it systematically.

Well, it's, it's the raising the flag. isn't it? Of course. It's they all stand there and then they're off. Yeah, rising the Union Jack. Now, this is what they face. Okay, the British Armed Forces.

No forward bases, an 8,000 miles supply line. Yeah. Winter storms and no recent experience of large-scale naval conflicts. Yeah, because of course, Argentina have about, what is it, 300 miles and they can refuel,

send resources. The British need to go to an Ascension Island. So that's just off the coast of Africa. Yeah, get a map up, Charlie. The Canary Islands. Charlie, get a map up of Ascension Island, right? So I imagine, is that a British island?

That is a British island. It's literally a rock. Right, another one. But I guess that's why you need these rocks. Right. So, Ascension Island is in the middle of... Right. It's probably like the middle of the world, pretty much.

Yeah. It's just south the equator. And so there's airfields there, and that's where a lot of the bombers are going to come from. Yeah. Because we've got no landing strips anywhere else that's near. Thatcher's approval rating, which has at the end of episode, one we got she was near nearly 23% or something overnight it skyrockets to 50% yeah right people are suddenly like well well she's our mummy yeah of course mummy's in trouble now her her sternness

it's come in handy now before it was like she's taking money away from me and now it's like I'm now we're hiding behind mummy's blouse yeah exactly the whole country is quivering behind mummy's big pants hiding behind mummy's pants yeah before the invasion British public opinion was clueless as to where the islands were and what they were called. Afterwards, they were like, get our fucking Falklands back. That's like,

that's the most important thing we have. If you take them away for me, what else have I got? I'm always going to the Falklands. I have my holidays book there. This episode of Finn versus History is brought to you by Surf Shark. Guys, look,

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months of Surf Shark. Don't let these online threats catch you off guard. Newsweek on the 19th of April 1982 ran with the headline. The Empire strikes back. Big photo of an aircraft carrier. Come on. Fuck yes.

Is that before Star Wars? No. So do you think that's where Star Wars got that from? Maybe. Yeah, well, Star Wars, I guess it's like an allegory for the Falklands War, isn't it? Famously. You, yeah. You, I am your fire.

It's a prophecy, isn't it? Yeah. We should place this because, as we've just evidenced, Charlie's got no idea where we are in the world. So Star Wars is 1977, okay? So the Falklands War is 1982, so it's just after Star Wars, and it's just before Star Trek next generation. Is that the one with John Luke, with what's he called? Patrick Stewart. I don't know any of the Star Trek stuff.

I tell you what, it's before Patrick Stewart takes on James Corden at the award ceremony. Oh, that's... Should you watch them? Please go out. I don't want to watch it.

I actually find it kind of unbearable. Your belly? It's so good. Because he doesn't nail it. Who comes off worst? I think Patrick does. I don't know. I think both of them.

I don't want to watch it. I think, no, I think that's... James here. It is, it's James, isn't it? If he left it there? When the presenter are up here, and when the recipients are receiving their awards... Goal and seething, because he's a nasty...

...stand at the back of the stage with your hands in your pockets, looking around as though you wished you were anywhere but here. Oh, you couldn't be more wrong, sir. You couldn't be more wrong. Oh, genuinely. It's so unbearable. If it looked like that, I'm so sorry. But when you come up and present an award,

just fucking get on with it. There we go. From where I was sitting, I can see your belly. It's not good It's not good It's not like And that was right over there At the back of the room

To be fair That is very funny That is very funny I could see your belly And it was all the way Over there Which is Mars way It's such bad gear

It's not good From where I was sitting I could see your belly And that was all the way I was really far away Your belly's massive Your belly is really big By the way

Because I was all the way over there You want us to be tighter, a bit more of a pun. Which is Shakespeare an actor. He's not a scriptwriter, bless, you know. He says he's an actor. He needs someone to write his words for him. But why was he so upset? Was it just because he was sulking at the back?

Guys, people hate James Corden. Oh, yeah. But it's just interesting because it's a big, it doesn't feel like the brand he has for him to go out and put his neck out. I would say the story I've heard about him, but he follows me on Instagram, so I'll keep up with the Patreon.

But there's some good gear about Corden. Anyway. But Corden? Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, Gordon, there's a million bad stories. But is that why Patrick's doing that? It feels like he was genuinely perturbed by his facial expressions. No, he's just, he's his comic, he's just riffing.

From where I was sitting, I could see your belly, and I was all the way over there in the back, your belly, passive. And then he was excited about that second. You're really big, you're really fat, fat guy. Fucking fat pig. Fat pig. James, you're a fucking fat pig. That's what I would have said. They're just, you know, you've got a man who's a Shakespeare, who's an actor, Shakespearean actor trying to be jovial, and then just the least charming man there's ever.

Yeah. Corden just can't, I don't know, there's a disconnect between him thinking he's trying to be charming. But I think they both come off across pretty bad. The whole, yeah, the glamour awards are the loser here. The real losers is the glamour awards. People that haven't seen my belly. Is there anyone who hasn't got a, it's just there.

Oh, and then he gets it out. I mean, he's fired up at this point. Okay, can we get a taxi ready, please? the old man going home okay oh he doesn't he doesn't he does a black at the end the old man going home that's where he loses it

yeah James keep it on James on the fat phobia shit man the old man going home I didn't know he did that that's crazy I would go so red I think it's like a heavy weight

it's a heavyweight bout and both people are punching themselves on the face on the floor No one wins that. It's just everyone comes off awful. But even when she came out, it says, I like your belly. That's kind of,

I find that kind of Patrick, I like your belly. Yeah. Should be, as you feel like, let's not slag each other off or something like that. Not like,

I like your fat fucking, massive fucking belly. No, I like your wobbly gut. I like seeing it from where I was saying, which is all the way over there. Personally, I think pigs are my favorite animal.

So, I love pigs. But in many ways, Patrick Stewart and James Corden fighting is, Would you agree it's similar to Britain and Argentina fighting about the porcelones? What's the Borges quote about it? Two bald men fighting over a comb?

Yeah. That is what this is. And I think... Two kind of arrogant pricks fighting at the Glamour awards. Genuinely, it's two overpaid arrogant toss pots arguing over an award ceremony this is relevant. Oh man going home. Oh man going home. And that's what...

That's the only... That's what that just says about Argentina. Argentina going home. Shit. You know, it happens every now and then on this show that in placing something, we come up with the perfect analogy for the topic we're talking about.

When was the Glamour Awards thing? Just to make, that must have been in the early. 2009? Yeah, it must be early 2000s. I think it's a dozen 10. 10.10, wow. Nice. Okay, so the Falklands War in 82, after Star Wars,

and it's before Patrick Stewart and James Gordon. War of the Stars. War of the Stars. It's really good stuff. It's very good stuff. So, a poll on the 3rd of April showed 80% of Brits support military action because... That's nice. That's nice to see.

Isn't it? That's nice to see. You've got some fucking belief, aren't me? Come on. Only 3% of this country are wet traitor at traitor cucks. So you've got, I think history looks well on them because it is like, I feel... So it's Corbyn, it's Tony Ben. Yeah, it's...

My mom and dad. Really? Well, I don't know if they're in the being 8, 3%. But they were embarrassed. by the whole thing. It's so funny that they've raised you. I know. And my dad's raised me.

Yeah. I guess you rebel against what you're... Exactly. She's Ying and Yang. My mom, when my mom talks... Fuck you, mom. I respect Factor. I'm Cartman, basically.

When mom talks about Thatcher, she just says the whole thing was just embarrassing. But at this point, she's at Cambridge. She's a fucking... She's a student at Cambridge. Yeah. You know what I mean?

She's not a real... She's not in the real world. She's not in the real world. Middle England. No. No. No, no, no. No.

in Scott who's gone to Cambridge. Yeah, her life's all, you know what I mean. She doesn't need it. Her head's in the clouds. Whereas someone who's fucking, the mind's just being closed. Your dad. Exactly.

They need it. Your dad is trying to transition from a life of crime into business in the East End. That just is God. The ship fires them up. Yeah, but also, what's interesting is that when Blair in Bade's Iraq,

a lot of the country, the majority of the country are for it. And everyone forgets that. Because there's a million, there's a million people marching against. It's the same as Brexit. Let's check that. And the same as Brexit, I reckon...

I'd like to fact check that. In 10 years' time, after Brexit or whatever, or that's about now, I guess, but you only remember, you only meet people who say they were against it. But Brexit was a referendum, so you can't say that. But at the time... This is different. The whole point... Fifty-fifty-four percent of Britons were in favour of going to war.

Okay, I mean, I guess just... And then 56, in March, 38, you opposed it. And then as soon as it happens, they all opposed it. Okay. But it becomes fashionable to oppose it because now it looks... I mean, still 50, it's about 50-50. It's on the... It's not like...

It's a majority, 56. Yeah. This is 80%. Yes, because it's the forklons, and they actually matter to us. They do, yeah. Iraq, who gives a shit? Do you think he was trying to have his own forklings in Iraq? Blair?

Yeah. What, in the way that... I don't know, he was trying to... In the way that... In the way that... Thatcher was trying to have our own World War II. Yeah. And Blair was like, I need a forklens.

Yeah. I mean, genuinely, we really could do with a forkland. right now. Can we find a shit island in the middle of nowhere? Because I don't want to run that shit back because I think it's kind of boring we've been there. We need a new island, new random country. Who would have thought?

Random enemy. Pick a random country. Charlie, find... Let me just spin it out. Find an island and who are the owners of it? Right, I just put Yemen. Clippeton island. I'm sort of fighting Yemen.

The Houthis. Clippeton. Clipotan. French Coral Atoll. What's the nearest country is the Clippeton? Where is it? It's in France. It's in the North Pacific. It's 1,000.

How much of Mexico. Right, let's take a flag on the Mexicans. Fuck it. They've had it too good for too long. We want our Clipperton. But do you know what I mean? We're in a similar position to the 80s and 70s. Yes.

Doom spiral. It could like really fire us up. Look how small that is. Whoa. Yeah. So that's not even an island. That's in the toll. It'd be great just to send the boys out there.

They need a run out. Yeah, they do. Clipperton. Let's take Clipperton. Let's take Clipperton. Because what Falklands was, it was sort of like a prestige friendly. It was when we beat Germany 5-1 in Germany. Germany. He was a friendly. I don't think it was a friendly. It was a friendly. Oh no, it was

qualifying. It's qualifying. It's qualifying. It's fined us all up. When Emil Heski devastated the German defences. Like a Dresden bomber. Emil Heski flying over Dresden. Anyway, I guess they're not allowed to make those jokes. Do they ever say that? Sorry? Germans never make those sort of jokes, do they? They can't really. What about like how like, what, like, fucking Miroslav closer. Fast and yanker is the blitz bomber. Yeah, no, they're not. But that's because we won.

Yeah. Wee. Speaking of other things, we won. But it's basically, it's what became clear is we're better at war than peace, basically. 100%. This country is at ease with itself when we're fighting someone.

Yeah, of course. In peacetime, we don't know what to do. We have no idea. No idea. Yeah. Now, Ronald Reagan, was obviously president during the conflict. We're poor, we are poor, we are poor,

we are poor gas going. Yeah. We need a drink. made sense when he was playing football. Yeah. And now he's fucking turning up Realm Motel's house and six cans of the fish and rock.

Exactly. He needs something. Role mid. Anyway, we did Realm Moat on the patron. Ronald Reagan is present during the conflict and his secretary of state who's called Haig, he begins shuttle diplomacy between London and Buenos Aires.

And he is trying to prevent, quote, two friends from going to war. Sure. Because both sides are virulently anti-communist. The Argentinians actually, when they invaded, they think the US will support them because they're,

they're, to be fair, They're more anti-communist than Thatcher because Thatcher's not electrocuting poets, just testicles. And they're just an important, you know, stopping the growing communism in South America. Very important for America in these states. So Haig privately describes the Argentine junta is emotional, erratic and not well-informed.

Now, Thatcher, meanwhile, is busy assembling the largest British naval deployment since World War II. Here we go. A hundred ships involved. It's the freedom flitilla. I mean, it's a free hit, is what it is. Around 30,000 personnel, at its core of the aircraft carriers, HMS Hermes, which is not the delivery company. That would have delivered to the wrong address.

And there's HMS DPD, HMS Prime, and HMS Invincible. They requisition cruise liners, a P&O ferry. Oh, really? They put all the Marines on the QE2. All the people would like sunning themselves on the boat, you're throwing in the ocean. I listened to a podcast from a journalist who was on that ship. He said it was a fucking party until like a week before they deployed. They were just going round Ascantian Island, all the Marines, on a cruise ship with like a bar and like,

Y, MCA, no, no, no. And they're just, you know, they're all 18-year-old boys in Newcastle, just fucking having it large. Yeah. So within, this is remarkable. Within, I think it's three days, the task force from the invasions on the 5th of April, is it? The task force is fully ready to go. Even though there's been cuts after cut every government's cutting more. Well, the last 40 years, the master client, we've cut everything.

Dockyards work round the clock to fit ships that load stores, improvised defences. Many sailors are called up so suddenly they leave food in the ovens. Apparently, the crew report rats emerging from long, unused compartments on the ship. They need to requisition tin food from supermarkets. They're blowing the dust off the old gear. Get it fired up. Start the car. You know, dads are coming out their sheds.

Yeah. They're excited. crowds in Portsmouth wave chucking their cardigans off yeah let's go for it Linda they need me crowds in Portsmouth are waving the Union Jacks get that footage up Charlie

this is amazing this is like it feels good again to be British never has Portsmouth seemed optimistic but it just Britain makes sense it makes sense that's the thing it does at the moment it doesn't really make sense no doesn't quite work now one of the heroes of the

of the Falklands we must talk about him is H.R.H. Prince Andrew. Yeah. Obviously, he has been victim of a sustained defamatory campaign in the intervening years. Disgraceful. Disgraceful. This guy just likes islands.

He's a war hero. He's a war hero. Okay. He, as we'll get to the next episode, he's an island hopper famously. You know, the best way to stop a guy going to a bad island is to get him to a good island. The only way to, yeah.

The festival is, defense against a man with a bad island is a man with a good island. Yeah, exactly. Now, there was a lot of talk about whether they would send Prince Andrew because he was in the, was it Navy or the Air Force at this point? He's a Royal Navy helicopter pilot

and there was a bit of twoing and throwing. Look at Queen's favourite son. Yeah. Pre-Epteim. He's busting his not so much at this point. No wonder he's smiling like that. He's in the Navy. Yeah. There was discussion over whether he should be kept off the front line. If he was killed, it would obviously be sort of national trauma.

If he pulled out, not that he deserved it would look like special treatment in the Royal Family. So the decision, much as it was with Harry later on in Afghanistan, was that he stayed, and it was politically safer to treat him as if he was just a normal officer. But also, at war, you've got to play to your strengths. We've got to use every resource we have.

So I think, air pedos, that's what we've got. Yeah. We should have got Saville up there. You know, it's like in Game of Thrones, when... What are you saying about, Jimmy Saville? Sorry, I didn't mean this to fame. What you're saying about, Sir John? James Saville.

All I'm saying is it's like dragons in Game of Thrones. Get a photo of Saville up. Sir James Saville, this man, you're saying this man who seems to be wearing 3D Pido glasses. You know what? Now I've seen an image of him. I just don't believe that he did any of that stuff. This is all hearsay, gossip and scurrilous river. It's a heresy.

Sir James Saville, Knight of the Realm, that man there with the cigar. You think he was non-sopido shy, I don't believe it. I don't believe it for a second. Don't believe it with his red glasses. No. He looks like my Nana at a Halloween party. I won't take this slander. Anyway, you were saying about...

Basically, you know, in Game of Thrones, you know, some kingdoms will have a drag, dragons they can use. And that's like... A dragon mother, Denise Tonick. But instead, we've got pedos in the air. We've got a Pido mother. We do. That's that.

And then the audience is like, They're coming from above. From the skies! The PEDOLs in the sky! It peels from the sky! So, Britain declares a, and this is very important, because one of

the chief criticisms people make about Mummy is a supposed thing they call a war crime, right? So let's just get the record straight. I think it's a war fine personally. I think it's war fine. All is fair in love and war. Britain declares a 200 nautical mile

maritime exclusion zone around the Falklands, which initially applies to Argentine warships but then it expanded to literally anyone so we're basically saying is this is the active war zone any ship

this is the pitch this is the pit exactly it's when you're playing five aside you're putting jumpers down and you go right past that tree you're out yeah that's the exclusion zone

if you were any any ship was inside that zone Britain would attack you and that was all was fair now then are this this pumps me I got really into this Operation Black Buck

right these are long the longest of long range this is sick yeah this is sick yeah it's great the main advantage of Argentina however is their bombers and fighters could not only come from the Argentina mainland

but also from the island they've got all the air bases on the island so basically because they don't want to risk the aircraft carriers etc they can't they can't fly these heavy bombers from an aircraft carrier because they're too big the only place they can do is a landing strip

and the nearest one is a central island which is fucking miles away so and like if you if you're listening just it might be helpful switch to video because Essential Island is in the middle of fucking nowhere but it's closer

to somewhere than the Falklands right so this is basically it's the midpoint between Britain and the southern extremity of Britain

and so what they do is they set up a forward base on the Ascension Island and they then carry out RAF bombing missions to the Falklands from Ascension Island

but in order to do this they have to create an air bridge which is they have several refueling tankers that are also flying, and they take off exactly the right time, and then

they refuel the bombers in mid-air 17 times over the course of them going there and back. It's like, and the contraption is sort of like a shi-wee sort of thing. It does look a bit like a shi-wee, yeah. It's kind of like, it's got

like a cone and a magnet, I assume. Yeah. I mean, a single pilot has to stay awake for that long. I don't know how long that takes them. Yeah, 8,000 mile round trip. Do they not have a co-pilot? Maybe, I guess so. That's probably it. It was the longest bombing mission in history at the time.

The Vulcan required a complex airbridge of Victor tankers. They refueled the other tankers, which then refueled the Vulcan. Right. Up to 11 aircraft are involved to get one bomber from Ascension to Port Stanley, right? And if one aircraft has an issue, then the whole chain collapses. Fuck, right. So Black Buck 1. And this is just to get a proper bomber, basically, to destroy the land.

Because you couldn't do that from air. aircraft carriers are nowhere near the task force set sail in april it's going to take them what five weeks to get there i don't know how long it takes them yeah it takes them fucking ages to get to anywhere near the forklund anyway uh black buck one first of may 82 uh this is the one everyone cites a single vulcan attacks the stanley airfield with 21 000 pound bombs the bomb run is made at night in poor weather from a very high altitude of the 21 bombs only one hits the runway and it doesn't crater the middle of it. So they're able to,

it doesn't actually shut down the airstrip for very long and they're able to repair it. But it basically, they were trying to kill the Stanley Airfield so that the Argentines could stop sending fighters.

Because if they have air superiority over the Task Force, then the Task Force are fucked. So the Task Force is a fleet of ships that are spending five weeks getting to South Atlantic. Now, they get there at the start of May,

82, and we arrive at one of the most controversial. This is when the big controversy. The big controversy of the war. This is where the sort of fun, pretend, stupid war, over the Middle Village becomes quite real for some people. Yeah. This is the

sinking of the Argentine destroyer, the general Belgrano. Now, on the 2nd of May 82, British nuclear-powered submarine HMS conqueror torpedoes it, which is the only nuclear-powered submarine ever to sink a warship in combat. It was a former U.S. Navy ship, the Belgrano, which had survived Pearl Harbor.

I guess there's not really much naval warfare ever going on. No. This is the first, I mean, this is the only real naval battle. Post-World War II? Boat on boat action. This is it. Boat on boat. B-to-B.

Very, very sad. Boat on boat. Ripping communities apart. Now, what happens is that the Argentine fleet, there's a destroyer that is heading towards the exclusion zone. Yeah. The Belgrano. right and the task force

are nearing the Falkland Islands yeah it's sort of circling the exclusion service they what they think is happening is that the rest

the Argentine fleet and the Belgrano are going to get the task force in a pincer movement yeah

and then attack yeah and so this is what Thatcher hears in London this is what the general

says this is what we think they're going to do and so the head of the army or Navy or whatever says to

Thatcher do we have permission to sink it fuck here yeah before

he even finishes, I'd say, fuck yeah, fuck yeah. Those are our boys. Sing it. So she goes, sink it! She says yes, but because of the lag in terms of the timing and distances, when they actually engage the Belgrano, it is now sailing away from the exclusion zone. Yes. Which makes it look bad.

Yeah. But it's just because outside the exclusion zone doesn't mean that Britain can't still fuck you up. sure it's just that if you're in the rules no no no no no it wasn't like just all of the war happens there no that's just like if you're in there there's war but also we can't go in war with you if you're anywhere we're going after you

you invaded yeah are the most important part of the British Empire the soul of the nation the Falkland Islands the jewel in the crown so the submarines fire torpedoes at the Belgrano causing a absolute firestorm on the ship I think of a thousand people on board

323 die, which is quite a lot. Which is half of Argentina's total war dead from the foursons. Right, yeah. So it's no longer just a laugh anymore. No. It happens quite early on. But what it does result in is that they no longer use boats at all in the war. Charlie, just want to just read out what you've Googled there.

At least three whales were harmed by the British warship. HMS brilliant, or not very brilliant, actually, during the 982 Volklands War, after the ship's radar missed at them for enemy submarines, leading to torpedo and helicopter attacks on the marine mammals. Fair enough. I mean, normally your search is never coming up with anything, but actually... Can you imagine being in a helicopter gunship just firing bullets down on the whale? But what's it all for?

Hey? What am I doing? Yeah, this fucking whale has no idea. It's a British whale. Yeah, but that would be sad, though. Well, yeah. I should be shooting meat, men. But they're in the exclusion zone.

Yeah. Shit will get off the pot. I don't think they knew. Rules rules. This episode is brought to you by five. Five. It's like people who can't say three and they go free. Yes.

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for 349 monthly at 3.9% or get $2,000 cash purchase bonus on remaining 2025 models. Visit your local Nissan dealer today or nissan.ca for more details. Leasturn for 48 months with 1,200 49 down conditions apply. The Belgrano sinking leads to accusations of war crimes. By Tony Benn and the Sun accuses Tony Bed of treason. Yes, quite right. The Sun goes, is going very hard this whole time.

The Sun goes hard. Okay. The Sun publishes a photo of the Belgrano with the headline, Gotcha! And this was condemned as sort of gloating over mass casualties. To honest, so much so the Sun even apologize, which they never do.

They never apologise. So it was quite, basically, they just completely misjudged the vibe. Yeah. They thought it'd fire people up, but it was a little bit like... Everyone's like, oh, 300 people died. Yeah.

Yeah. Over a pointless rock. It's quite funny that in the rest of history series about this, they talk about how by 1982, a human life meant so much more than it did in the 40s. Of course, yeah. Because that's why it feels icky in a way that none of this stuff would have felt icky 40 years previously.

Of course, yeah, it's just because there's so many people dying. It doesn't really mean anything. But they also, the Sun ran an anti-Argentine joke column, encouraging readers to send in anti-Argentinian gags. And if your joke was printed, they'd send you a tin of corned beef. Wow. They also invited readers to sponsor a missile with a personalized message to Galtieri's Gouchos with love from the Sun. Wait, so like when you adopt an orangutan? Sort of.

Adopt a missile. It should also be said that the Sun airlifted two Royal Navy ships, page threes. Yeah. Which is nice, isn't it? So the inside of those ships are just like a mechanic's wet dream, just tits everywhere. But I guess, yeah, is that the kind of the 80s coming to fall? Even though we're trying to cosplay the 40s, the culture of the 80s is kind of coming through. Tabloids, big tits, you know, it's the end of deference.

Yes, exactly. The grounders have gone. Yeah. There's no, I think we're into Brazilian age. Yes. I think we're into the shape. Yes, I think so. I believe. Now, Thatcher, she gets a lot of stick during the. 1983 election campaign about the Belgrano because she

refuses to put an inquiry on and this is what she says about it but I do not spend my days prowling round the pigeonholes of the Minister of Defence looking at the precise course of action one moment the Belgrade

one moment says you only respect people who come into making one moment that ship was a danger to our boys that's why that ship was sunk. I know it was right to sink her.

Wow. That ship was a danger to our... You see the emotion in her eyes? Yeah. Danger to our boys. But also just the way... Imagine Starma saying one moment. Yeah.

They don't do that anymore. No. I mean, Corbyn does the thing when he throws the fucking... Ah, ah, uh, uh, hello! I'm talking, actually. I'm talking. Excuse, hello!

Yeah, Corbyn is awful for it. He's so... He's so... I'm talking. I'm not talking. I've not finished yet. I've not finished talking yet. I've not finished talking yet.

No, I'm, you're still talking. Can I speak? You're talking over me. Can I speak? I'm still talking. Because you don't want to be like, like, I don't know, like self-pitying. Did I tutter? You know what it's in a band. Am I tuss enough?

Hell yes, I'm Tussing us. Do you remember that one? Yeah. That was what, that's what really sang here. Yeah, yeah, it is. Am I tossing us? Hell yes, I'm Tussasas. That's the Belgrano of his campaign.

Am I Tuss enough? Hell yes, I'm Tussonoff. And you can see the campaign leave his eyes as he says. it. Am I tough enough? Tough enough? I'm tough enough. But what she said is one moment. Yeah. Just shut to the moment. One moment. And that's David Frost as well. One moment. Who's eating up Nixon by this point. Yeah.

One moment. One moment. So good. And then you see her eyes. Yeah. That ship was a danger to our boys. She killed it. Also, apparently what was great about Thatcher is because she has no like masculine ego about war. She knows she knows nothing about war. Yeah. Even though she gets involved in things she doesn't know about all the time. She had none of that about. war so she would respect her generals and let them do their job yeah where I feel like

the army loved her yeah so I feel like a bloke if you're in there yeah and it's wartime your party you're gonna be thinking well I'm what are you doing that you're yeah yeah because you know what I mean I think there's still a masking thing it's like well obviously if it came to we should do the whales we should do the whales in our record move yeah should we uh should we bother about those whales should we should we miss all let's let's firstly clear the whales out yeah the generals are like what what no bomb them. Did I stop them? Yeah.

Bomb the whales. Those whales were danger to our barn. Sinking of the beluga. Her voice on Truss's face, I'm done. You're done what? Fold me and off. I'm cooked.

You're done not coming. Because Truss's voice is awful. Yeah. 30% of our cheese. Do you think, do you think Truss is sort of like David Beckham then? What do you mean? Hello.

Very attractive until she opens her mouth. Yeah, exactly. David Beckham, gorgeous. Hello, I'm the sexiest man in the world. Well, the thing about Victoria. Yeah, Victoria. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But Thatcher's voice, my God.

She had to look like that because if she'd looked any fitter, you know, wouldn't get anything done. Yeah. Diana's face, Thatcher's voice. Come on. Come on. Come on. I'm flesh and blood.

You know, I'm Jimmy Saville in a dressing room. I'm just flesh and blood. I mean what I mean? What? Christ What do you want me to do? I'm just a guy in a track suit with red tinty closet. What do you do? Not chuck ropes.

Not get two exercise ropes full of calm. Absolute filth. It's Helen Mirren, isn't it? Gillian Anders. No. Ginny Anton was in the crown. Helen Mirren was...

Merrill Street. That's it. Merrill Street. Gillian. Anderson. Oh. What's this podcast now? Just saying a

kind of 40-year-old white woman's name and then shuddering. The problem is is that Gillian Anderson with Thatcher's voice is that, I mean, what am I meant to do? Yeah, you are snooker. What am I meant to do with Jillian? with Gillian Anderson playing Margaret Thatcher,

what am I meant to do? What do you want for me? What'd you want for me? All I've got for you is hot come. That's all I've got. You've got nothing left. I've got nothing left. That's all I've got to give.

I've got the Falklands and I've got some hot come. What do you want me to do? Gillian Anderson, in the Crown, doing Thatcher's voice. I mean, that's just wiping out a generation of men. Yeah, they're fucking...

Sent to their death. Your TV's been destroyed. TV's out of the window I had a threat out of the window I'm too horny TV's out the window gone anyway

what's this nonsense right four days after the Belgrano is sunk the British destroyer HMS Sheffield is hit by a French-made Exocet missile

makes sense I knew the French would be involved somehow now the French are actually very apologetic like this and to be fair to them they do

cover themselves in glory to be fair they do they peel the breeze they peel the brie off their chest and they finally wake up to some war. But the reason why, part of you might think

this is a permanent opportunity for the French to say, stop fucking around Brits. But the reason why they're so supportive is if Argentina to get the Falklands back, the French have so many islands with the exact same territorial claims.

They got all the Polynesian nonsense. So they're desperate for us to win this. So they had been dealing, selling arms to the Argentines, but they then put an embargo on that and they then start sharing intelligence about on 10, anti-aircraft missiles.

The exocet, that's why someone, that's where that word comes from. So like in cricket, they also always bowling accessets and the nets, bowling rockets in the nets. Right. Now the exorcets warhead may not are fully detonated,

but the resulting fire causes up to, I think, 20 crew members die in the ship later sinks. So basically... People are killed by like the... Inhaling the plastic. Because what's always surprising, I feel, with these boats,

is that they're massive boats, but one torpedo, they sink. The hard thing is it's just, really hard to hit one. Yeah. Does that surprise you about it for some reason? These massive boats?

Yeah, but it's a fucking missile. Yeah, I guess so. Isn't it? That's like saying massive head, one bullet, done. JFK, isn't that? Doesn't that surprise you? JFC? Massive head.

Head just explodes from one bullet. You're like, come on, mate. Wear a hat or something. I guess it's just very hard to get one on target then. But this is the first major Navy warship lost in combat since World War II. And Thatcher's devastated about this because this is where the real mummy thing comes in.

Of course. boys and then she I must write to them all the families do you reckon she ever what is it I can think of the question before no I had it ready

go on do you just reckon she had ever had come on her chin and cheeks let's carry on so we actually do you think so we navigate it out of talking about hot cum

in actually before it's actually interesting and important I don't think it is like somebody as big as powerful as that and they've just got calm on their cheek probably.

I mean, she was a teenager at some point. Well, has that got to do with come on her cheek? Well, you're probably, as a teenage, but you're probably, you're more like, she's not like in the park

on the fucking, like, seesaw. You don't know. You don't know anything? Your mum will have had a romantic life before your father. You ever think about that?

Yeah. He's on the back. Oh, Christ. I thought he was back to the corner there and he fucking fought his way out. No, he will fight his way out. He's like a fucking gorilla. Right.

we're talking about the loss of the Sheffield not the loss of Charlie's mother's innocence now this shattered the early sense of invulnerability the idea of this war being a clean victory you know we've lost 20 people the newspapers show these images of the crew returned to Britain

and so we this is fucking cool Operation Narwhal right this is the last kind of major Navy episode so this is on the 9th of May 82 now this is a British military action against an Argentine fishing trawler which was operating as an intelligence gathering vessel. It's the only

ever air to ship seizure in military history. Really? For the first air to ship storming of a hostile vessel. So there are these sea harriers I think are the planes? The sea harriers are the key thing that wins the whole war really.

Yeah. They spotted the narwhal after an aborted bombing run on Port Stanley and they obtained permission to engage. They hit it with the bomb but missed and then a bomb hits but fails to desolate which then kills a crewman who sat in the toilet who dies in the arms

of the ship's captain why is the ship's captain in the toilet what is he sitting on the ship captain's lap are they both are you double-deckering the toilet

is he pulling through the other one's legs what's going on these Argentines are fucking crazy thank God we won this war we're at war what are you doing what are you doing

fucking doing relay races on the bog, you weird fucks. Anyway, they start strafing it with cannon fire. And then helicopters, right, basically SAS or, no, SBS, special boat services, they... Special boat syndrome.

Special boat syndrome. Many of our listeners have that. They, they, is it rappel or rappel? Yeah, I always do that, books out. Repel. I think it's repeal. I think it's repel. They repel down ropes and they board the

ship and yeah they they basically take over it from the air which is fucking cool there's a good can you get it up charlie can you get the the photo of it up yeah yeah it fires me up this that's good stuff pretty cool um and this just goes to show that the brits are a professional this is our top soldiers doing this yeah and the argentines are literally hugging each other on the toilet so meanwhile it should be said that negotiations are ongoing yeah and And part of the controversy of the Belgrano is that there had been a, quote, Peruvian deal. Right. What good have they ever done?

What Nobis Solano is involved, is he? But basically any negotiation would have resulted in essentially Argentina having sovereignty. Yeah. Because, you know, that was always... Obviously. Unless Britain, unless mummy clamp down, it was always going to happen. That actually says no fucking way. No fucking way.

Yeah. But actually, she doesn't, actually. She's exploring all opportunities at the same time as this. But no one thinks about that. Anyway, the European reaction is that the EEC does an arms embargo in Argentina and put it under economic sanctions, which guess I presents a sort of unified front. Yeah. Now, the Chileans, they're on our side, which is why Thatcher loves Pinochet so much. Because the Chileans hate Argentina.

They hate each other. And there's literally built up. A lot of the best Argentinian troops are on the border with Chile because there might be a war about to start. Yeah, Thatcher presses on. The Argentina is diplomatically isolated. refusal to heed UN Resolution 502 the dirty war the human rights record is becoming more visible

the UK is starting to win the PR war because it's defending the right of self-determination of the islanders and a big mistake by Argentina a lack of foresight was not having any plan to take any of this to the UN or go through any proper channels just hadn't really thought about it at all

and so after the Belgrano not getting their allies in order before they did it After Belgrano and the initial naval battles, the US now fully comes down on the UK's side. Reagan gets off the fence and he starts doing intelligence and sharing information. And so into late May, three weeks after leaving Portsmouth, the task force anchor in the cold, exposed waters of the South Atlantic. And in the darkness and freezing winds,

war shifts from engagement at sea to boots on the fucking ground. Here we go. It's D-Day, 40 years on. It's Drag Churchill. Run that shit back. Mummy is on the ground. Argentines, you should be quivering. In our next episode, we will deal with the land war, the invasion. Old man, go home. The stormy. What did the cordonset? Oh, shit.

What did he say? Old man got a whole. Old man going home. Oh, man going home. Oh, man going home. Thatcher's on the boat. Oh, man going home. in our next episode we'll deal with the brutal land war that finally seizes Stanley back into British hands

for the rest of our entirety of the Thatcher-Forkland series you can sign up to the Patreon where for just three pounds a month you get access to every series as soon as it's ready ad-free bonus episodes what else you do this Christmas? Don't listen to your father-in-law, listen to us. That's on the Patreon already, if not, we will see you next time for the conclusion of this epic Falklands War.

I would say peace, but it's not peace. War. War. War. It's war. See you next time. Thank you.