Fin vs History - The Bowler’s Pegging, The Batsman’s Arsehole | The History of Cricket (Part 1/2)

Episode Date: June 23, 2025

From Oliver Cromwell to Graham Gooch via Slavery and Rorke’s Drift, there is no sport with more historical symbolism than the battle between bat and ball. The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened.  For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon https://www.patreon.com/fintaylor?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome, once again to Finn versus History, as ever I'm joined by Horatio Gould. Batsman's holding, bowler's willie. And today, it's a fun one. It's the history of cricket, finally. Do you remember the batsman's holders bowling willie? Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. this is one

to just see off our last few female listeners get in the bin this one's for the lads this is sort of after a battle where you're going stabbing the corpses to make sure

that there's none of them second bullet in the head bang just riddle it really just riddling the corpse we're playing with Gaddafi's corpse that's what we're doing but we went on a big cricket day out didn't we?

We did a couple days ago had a great time yeah brilliant time we went on a company summer treat we went to the summer social test world cup final first day

between Australia and South Africa got absolutely cunted had a massive curry and we're all still recovering from it we all agreed that our asses were going to be like failed states we said it was all going to be Eritrea

yeah I said after that my ass was like Gaddafi's after he was killed yeah I'm not in a good way my ass is still like Somalia it's just pirates everywhere corruption

I am de poupo now no the institutions were completely crumbled black hawk down It's like you wiping your ass sending in the air troops and it's crashed But

Cricket, of course, is the oldest game Is it? Name an older game Fucking Bogle Charlie, did you say Boggle? Bogle. Ancient Bogle.

Bogle's not a game Bogle founded when I guess catch by the old 19702 We should place this probably via games but there's nothing before this Cricket is the first game.

I think... Well, is that catch? Are you counting catch as cricket? Catch is a part of cricket. Yeah. Because it sometimes annoys me when people do like early forms of a game and they say they're a game.

Like when FIFA, whenever they're talking about the history of football and some big speech they're doing at a conference, they can't give it to England. Yeah. Because they hate England so much. Right. So they go, obviously, early origins in China,

it's like them fucking kicking someone's head down the stairs. Yeah, that's not football. No, no. And if it was, they'd be better at it now. Yeah, exactly. They obviously don't give a fuck about, Oh, yeah, as soon as you stopped using the heads, we weren't interesting. So I guess we need to be aware that not all our listeners will like cricket.

No. I feel like we've been pretty clear. That's what we like. There's cricket reference in most episodes. The game of cricket is, it's probably the only sport that's worth doing a history of, really. I mean, you can do the history of the World Cup in football. But cricket is so politics and history and colonialism are tied up with cricket, which is why I like it. Yeah.

because it's so little about the sport it's so little about the sport it's about the symbolism of everything yeah it's made purposely like a labyrinth of boredom yeah to separate the wheat from the chaff and by chaff i mean uh old white men yes and wheat is everyone else the game of cricket is impenetrable yeah you really have to have a lot of time and therefore money yeah to actually try and understand what's going on patience discipline yeah It's a neuronormative game. In many ways, I think it's almost like every sport teaches us something about life.

That's kind of the undercurrent of why we like sport. It's kind of you're playing out things in life. And life is very boring a lot of the time. Weirdly, I don't love cricket, I like it, which is a weird thing. That's not right. I know. I don't love cricket. I like it.

I love Stokes headingly, amazing. ODI Final was what got me into cricket, that amazing. The World Cup, yeah. I love that game. And I'll watch a couple of tests when they're on, but I'm not keeping up to it all year round. I don't love cricket. I do like it.

See, my relationship to it is that it's a seasonal thing, right? I care about the, it's so wrapped up in the summer. Like mashed potato. It's mashed potato is a winter thing. So I eat mash in the winter. And then around March, I stop eating mash. Start watching cricket. Start watching cricket.

April, County cricket starts. So if I'm eating mash. Yeah, I'm not touch. I don't touch County Cricket. I don't touch it. Really? that's like no way I can do like top end cricket

county county, my dad's into county cricket my granddad's into county cricket highlights but I'm not engaging with it beyond that The test summer for me is you know how someone's a bad husband or a bad boyfriend is someone who like it's a Wednesday night I'm watching Champions League Right

You know it's like oh should we go to theatre It's Wednesday champions league's on You know that's like we all know someone who's like that Who's like I'm out Tuesday Wednesday because it's champion league And it's like it's real Madrid wearing like a football t-shirt she wants to go out for a nice dinner no it's 10 piece of me I can't

right that's me in the test summer in that I always have one earpiece in right and I'm washing up what so you're like a bodyguard of a president I'm a bodyguard of a president at a wedding at a wedding I've got one earpiece in you're looking at you know does anyone have anything to

any reason why they shouldn't be you know that's me at the back of a funeral or whatever just with one earpiece in ideally it'd be massive ideally have like a massive 80s headphones listen to cricket very quietly. It's so wrapped up. That's when I'm a neglectful husband.

If England are playing a test match, I'm half not there. It's a called test cricket because it tests your marriage, right? Yes, it's the ultimate test. Can your marriage sustain five days, a working week of you just not really being there? Yeah, because built into the sport, yeah, is kind of entitlement, selfishness,

taking time away. The whole reason is five days. We went on a Wednesday. Yeah. It's a working day. What the fuck? Laws is full of people who should be at work. But can just go like,

nah, not today. Yeah. It's the English, not today. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Not today. No. It genuinely is because I don't think an Englishman

can just sit and do nothing. They have to have it, all this pageantry around doing nothing. Yeah, yeah. Obviously, a great desire for all men is to do nothing. But we have to do loads of stuff around it. Protestant men can't do nothing. But they,

Only way we can is test cricket. It's watching former colonies slug it out in the middle of the field. Well, that's part of the, part of the, yeah, it's so wrapped up in Englishness, cricket. Even though we're not the best in it, that's part of it. But that's part of Englishness. It's the sort of fallen grandeur, right? And the whole idea of it being five days, right? This is because it has its roots.

I mean, we'll get into the very early origins. I mean, this is the only medieval history that I'm really into is the origins of cricket. But when it starts to become more of a thing, the whole reason it's five days. is that it's an aristocratic pastime and so it is people who have got fuck all to do and so that's why the whole the whole notion that it's now

much more short form T20 all that people don't like it is because it's modern moathe's woke toch you can work and watch cricket no yeah well after work you go watch the cricket that's nonsense no what's work you sit there

look at your bank account going up passively while cricket happens yeah it's for landlords it's for landlords and you know that thing about sport sport should be for all this one's not and that's why i like it it's for it's for certain people and those people are like me well when we're at the cricket we looked over at the lord's members club yeah and it's the

the lord's ground now it's got quite a lot of modern structures to it the commentary box is like this big kind of media center yeah but you look over and there's this the ancient facade which is kind of the most holy it's it's like the haj it's the white male hodge yeah it's the long room is the Hage, basically. That's the middle bit where they all walk around. Yeah, yeah. What's that, is that the thing called?

There's like a hall with all these paintings. No, but I mean in Mecca, there's the big, the big black box. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the Hage, that's the hard.

That's that what it's going to? Because doing Hage. What's the thing in the middle called? What actually is the thing in the middle? I think it's, hmm. It's not like it was called the Hage or maybe you do Hage. I was called the Cabber. Yeah.

So, yeah, not the Gaba. But what is in, what the Gaba? The Gaba's the, Australian cricket ground in Brisbane I think The cabba The cube-shaped building In the middle

That's like the most It's like the holy centre What's in it? What's in it? It's like this It's not like Mohammed's little It's not Mohammed's bones It's made a gold

And it's underneath the cloak I think there's part of it Is the original First like mosque whatever Right I don't know But they all walk round that Yes

And that's basically What the long room is In Lords Yeah It's for white guys For white British middle age men Yeah That's their hodge

Yeah When they're away Listening to cricket they turn to face the direction of... Five times a day, I turn to face the members of the Lords. And I'm actually going to post some video. I took some video of the Lord's members who were there. Because it is, as you said, it was to...

It's the final defence of white privilege. It's the Rourke's drift of white privilege. Is it when it all comes to it and the blue-haired hairies are screaming for change. And it's, uh, you have to die. Someone has to die before you to get a spot. Several people have to die, I think. Several blood relatives have to die before you're even considered.

And so it's the, membership you get it a lifetime right i think so if you get in yeah we must we must remember that there are people who don't like cricket or don't know about it yeah who listen to this watch it uh i can't imagine who they are yeah but they're here the game of cricket is sort of uh it's 11 v 11 on a big round field right and you have to one team has to try and hit the stumps or or get the batsman out right and 10 batsmen out and while the batsmen are trying to stop getting out they're trying to score runs and that's kind of the game and both teams do it twice now it's it's already quite complicated yeah and yet the whole point of cricket is to just layer complexity and complexity

on on impenetrability and the whole thing like the terminology the terminology is insane the fielding positions silly mid off yeah and I know what that means silly mid off is when you stand very close to the batsman with a helmet on like in the mid off position yeah basically looking at at him and it's a silly place to stand on the pitch. It's a very silly place to stand. That's why it's called silly mid-off. There's a feeling position called Cow Corner. What's that?

That's just like, I don't know, it's just like over there. It's like two o'clock on a map on a clock. I don't know why it's called Cal Corner. Just I don't know why it's called Cal Corner. But this is to prove you went to the right school, isn't it? It's all just codes, right? And so what happened was, obviously, cricket's been around for so long. Initially, it was a radio thing.

And people would try and visualize the pitch. So they gave them all these mad fucking names. Right. And it's purely. so people can listen, but then the actual work you have to do to understand how to... Well, you don't have a job, so...

Well, this is it. This is what I mean, is that it takes so much work to be into it that it's only for people who don't work. And not like benefits, a lot. Not that lot. No. But that lot.

Not that lot, because the tickets are too expensive. Yeah. So you're either, it's like... Yeah, you're looking around Lords, you benefit scum. The MCC, the Pavilion at Lords is the opposite of the food bank. well they're like

that landlord was it yeah yeah it's um they're food bankers yeah food bankers so cricket begins we think

in the medieval period right there is a theory that I heard in the rest of history that Jesus played cricket right Tom Holland's obviously

going on about that yeah well he thinks everything to do Christianity in cricket so so but we we think that it lightly

starts as a sort of children's bat bat and ball game sort of like swing ball sort of like swing balls famously apartheid South African invention.

Is it? We covered this we broke this exclusively. Now I wonder if that was because under apartheite

there's a whole story about South Africa which we'll get to. We'll do that going to do a patron special on the apartheid

South African cricket team but swing ball is an apartheid invention we must not forget that but cricket we think

is a children's bat and board game played in the south-east of England that is in the wheel yeah I grew up around the

world by shepherds is the first thought because obviously initially you were hitting it with like a shepherd's crooked staff.

Right. So because they already had the staffs. They had half the, half the kit already. I don't know what they're using as a ball. Right. Yeah. Some hard, some hard poo or something.

Some hard sheep's poo. Yeah. Yeah. But the first recorded entry of cricket is in the 16th century in a, in a local court case in Guildford, Gilford. And in 1550, a court case mentions boys playing Krekhead. Crackhead. Krekhead.

Krekhead. And the etymology is. possibly comes from Dutch. Crick is Dutch for stick. Crick. Crick. I've got a crick up my ass. Got a crick in one.

No. Please don't put that crick up my ass. Oh, that's so African. I know. It's African. Or it could be the old French cricket, a club. I don't like the idea that the French have got anything to do. They don't mean.

This is not French. That's not cricket. By the way, we are going to be playing a game throughout this series. In our next episode, we'll be talking about the history of the ashes with the great cricketer. One of my favourite podcasts. that's already on the Patreon if you're watching but we are playing a game in this series called That's Not Cricket

and we're trying to work out what actually is cricket So we go for a round now? Let's go for a round now Charlie we're going to do first round of that's cricket Okay, what have you got for us? Kidney Stones. Kidney Stones, that's not cricket. Kidney Stones are...

Mark that in the Not Cricket column please. One to the Notts Cricket. You can't play cricket with kidney stones. Sonia from EastEnders. Yes, that's not cricket. No, no. That's just an actress, a fictional character. Grapes.

Yeah. It's not cricket. Grapes is not Are you sure? Red grapes? I think red grapes are cricket. No, no, no. It's closer to tennis.

Right. Okay, I've got one. Glenn McGrath, that's cricket. That's cricket. That's lovely stuff. What a bowl of Glenn McGraar was. Brilliant. Brilliant.

Well done, Charlie. Right, we've got one. Four one down currently. TD Bank knows that running a small business is a journey from startup to growing and managing your business. That's why they have a dedicated small business advice hub on their website to provide tips and insights on business banking to entrepreneurs no matter the stage of business you're in visit td.com

slash small business advice to find out more or to match with a td small business banking account manager um so initially the game is like a curved bat like a hockey stick yeah that's why so i guess the shepherds thing the crook yeah yeah yeah and uh like a tree or a gate so the tree was the original stump yes right so the tree stumped Maybe that's where it comes from. Right. Who knows. And initially it's all underarm bowling.

Rolling. Rolling. Which maybe what's called bowling is because you're, it's similar to bowls. And this is all happening at this point in the southeast of England. Right. And this is what I guess is so I like about it is that it's like undeniably the southeast of England's thing. Yeah. And it spreads across the world.

It's the most. That's Wuhan. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Sussex and Surrey. is cricket's Wuhan. Yeah.

We're patient zero. And Lords is like the virology lab that the bat virus escaped from. Again, why have they still got an open lab? Yeah, I reckon shut that.

Definitely shut that. That's my first move. Shut all the other ones. Yeah. I tell you what, in China, blanket ban on nosing about with animals. Stop it.

Stop it. How have we not banned it? Guys, you don't have to eat them. You're doing alright now. Yeah, like we get it. In Mao's famine, obviously you're eating like pig dick, chalemain, whatever. But now, try cheese first. Yeah, but I guess what they're like.

They're not even trying cheese. Imagine being a people that eat a bat before you eat cheese. That's crazy. Yeah, but what's like a really nostalgic food from your childhood? Party rings. Yeah, for example. Fox's party rings. If you found out party rings were made with bat, you'd still be like, yeah, but it's

reminds you my childhood. So even though they don't have to eat pig dick chalmain They're like Oh but just reminiscing of my of my early youth You suddenly went into a Chinese accent there I was so excited I mean oh he's going for it He's going for it

Oh that reminds me of my youth Partridge is so nearly Chinese isn't it Oh oh my Yeah Back off a net I pissed my foot on a spike Fucking hell It's the Chinese

I like the Chinese cockney sort of mix Oh, fucking hell. Yeah. That's when you sort of get to Sean Welsh Josh Winnicum, isn't it? Oh. I think the greatest accent is the Greek, Londoner. In it?

I've got, I'm bloody, broken my bloody charger, mate. I can't even find. Oh, fucking hell, mate. My carkey's stuck in the drain, you know? In it. Yeah. When they say, Eni, it's like, they're having to sew. Ain't it, it's like, they're going fucking ham on that.

And they ain't green. I don't do a big poop in toilet. It's clogged now. I've done the big tope in the toilet. in the fucking hell yeah Greek Cockney's fucked

they're the people who've made Cotney more Cochney than Cotney it's amazing they've come here and like yeah that's what we're doing

fucking ow in it wash some yogo a lamb in it oh yeah I've done poopie and a yogh

fucking in me oh anyway um now stop Ross don't poop in yogurt

so now we get to cricket is so established by the late 16th, 17th century, that Cromwell bans it. Cromwell obviously bans cricket. So Civil War, the protectorate, he goes, that's not cricket. He thinks cricket's not cricket.

Yeah, he's one of the few people to ever say cricket's not cricket. He might be the most cricket of anyone. He's so cricket, he thinks cricket has gone too far. Cromwell's an opening batsman, and he, ideally, the game finishes nil-nil. No wickets, none for none. Five days, one person just going, no. I don't want to play. I don't want to play cricket.

Stop balling at me. Cromwell, the most defensive man has ever been, I think. So cricket's banned, and you get fined for playing on the... You get fined for playing on a Sunday for quite a while, actually. But Cromwell bans loads of things, doesn't it? Bounds like, you know, Christmas. Bering a ham. Berker, I reckon.

Yeah. Probably banned the burker. Well, he probably quite likes the burqa in a way. Yeah, he probably does. Probably has some good ideas. So this is where we get into... to the 17th century. So when cricket comes back

in the restoration, obviously, the satire boom, have I got news for you starts. Yeah. This is when cricket really starts to take off. Because suddenly it's like we're allowed fun again.

Yeah. And this is where it becomes a real like landowner, aristocratic thing. This is the reason, this is the start of the game being for posh cuns. Right.

So before it was for like Caleb, Farmer's. Yeah, exactly. Caleb from Clarmers, which is amazing. And now it's for Clarkson. Yeah. Exactly.

Exactly. Yeah. Caleb's got not a fucking clue. Yeah. He's been like mentally... I mean, he was hitting fucking sheep shit around anyway. Yeah. And then some posh boys saw it and said...

We should make a game out of that. Huh? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, all right. Well, my sheep shit, sheep shit hit. Sheep shit stick. Well, my favorite game is sheep shit stick.

So, yeah, he's been mentally priced out of cricket now. Right. Because that's what happened. So in the... After the restoration, when cricket's allowed again, gambling also. goes mad. Right, right, right.

This is like the early English, Ray Winston, oy. Right. Learn to gamble responsibly. Oye. But in like a manly way. Yeah.

So, gambling might ruin your life. Yeah. Watch out. Do it, though. Do it. Do it. It's fucking great, though.

It's brilliant, but it could ruin your life on a serious, but do it though. It tears families apart. So cricket becomes tied up to betting, right? Yeah.

So the whole thing of it being five days going on for ages, it's a past time. So people are paying cricket teams to play so that they can put money on it. Yeah. So gambling becomes central to the idea of cricket. And so this is where professionalism starts. So in the 1660s, professional cricketers are, it's a job title.

Right. Or it would be professional cricketer. But there's... Cracket. I'm a cricketer. I play cricket. It's like a posh Scottish gay guy. I play cricket.

Don't pull on yoga. It's Alan Cummings, isn't it? Yeah. or Laura Coonsberg Oh, now she's in my She's in my Overson window She's in my, she's in my Overson Tell me off a shit myself on live TV

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Coonsberg Kelly, Sheree Blair That's my ideal of Or shaking their heads That's my heaven If I blow myself up in a terrorist attack I'm going to not meet 72 virgins I'm meeting 72 Scottish Miltz

Who have all been broadcasting for years They're all like broadcast Broadcast royalty in the heaven 72 of them and they're all telling me off of being you just blow yourself up oh my word disgusting

absolutely disgusting Coonsberg absolutely she's a bit dry for me she's she's top she's far end she's gotten there's not a slice of warmth in Coonsberg

I don't want Maitless has a has a sort of like a caramel warmness to her but Coonsberg Coonsberg's ice ice cold

yeah that's what I want that's what I want I want cut glass I've been a bad boy naughty naughty tell me off mommy that's what i want yeah so in the 1700s cricket becomes like involved in disputes uh and like it causes riots and braws do we have any idea about any of the scoring at this stage well again so the first scoring isn't till the 1700s i wonder what they're betting on well yeah i don't maybe there's no there's no what's funny about the early history of cricket is that

it seems to have been so obvious that no one really thought to like write it down it was an oral tradition it was just so like part of life The oral tradition Yeah, I'm very keen on the organ It was passed off from one to suck off to another Yeah, just sucked off down the ages My wife's not very keen on the oral tradition Is you not?

Much more of writing it down She'll write me a letter Say you suck yourself off Yeah Whereas I'm a big, I'm keen on the oral tradition Yeah, of course She's much more academic She's a modernist

She's a modernist She's a modernist, she's a postmodernist I suck myself off so in the 1700s this is now this is really gets really fun so um in the era of cricket being it's an aristocratic pastime it's people they pay players to play so that they can put money on it it's a way of passing the time they got fuck all to do because they're landowners they're gentry they're all bloody good chaps right this is where they start in the 1700s getting really because this is a fruity time in england yes the the regency period this is people in

in, you know, this is the gay era of England. It's when, it's the only time when men dress kind of more flamboyantly than women. Yes. And it's seen as very gay if you would not wear a tights. Yeah, tights, big de blooms, like a huge cape and the one would be in like a more, you know. If you've not got any makeup on, are you a fucking bender or something?

Like it's a weird, it's a weird time. Men are in white tights. Get a photo up of Regency Pier at England. Men are in white tights. They're in wigs. They've got de bloons. We've got these big cod pieces, tiny plimsels. Yeah, all the fashion is aimed at men, all the sponsored advertising. Yeah, you're a puffer if you're not a dandy, basically. And so in this era, what cricket becomes is it's posh people doing kind of like all-star 11s,

but it's let's get 11 people with one leg playing 11 people with one arm. What, it's the sort of like Montezuma Zoo. Yeah, it's like the Harlem Globetrotters of disabilities. Right. So the Paralympics kind of. Harlem Globe One Trotter. Right, right, right.

So it's, yeah, it becomes like a let's get 11 fat people against 11 skinny people. Right, right, right. So they start to do these exhibition matches where it's kind of like a zoo. So people are watching

and they're paying people to... Paying disabled people to play against each other. Yeah. Which I think is how the Paralympic starts. Maybe. I'm not sure. So the first ever county match

is in this kind of backdrop. 1709 is Kent versus Surrey. Right. And this is the... I mean, if you're now... Come on. Yeah. That's the white guy Darby.

That's white on white violence. Look at that. That's white on white violence. This is the first time that, I mean, if you're listening and you're not British to this, a county is like a state sort of, but there's no, no one has any pride in the county. No. No one, you don't feel like you're in a county, do you? No.

No one's like. Well, only cricket really cares about county. The only time you remember what county you're in is when cricket's on. Yeah, exactly. It's a regional administration, but like in the US. You've state. And in Australia, you have states in it and like. States are the size of the UK.

Yeah. Yeah, and you can also tell, you can judge someone based on what state they're from. You can sort of do that with counties, Yorkshire. No, because counties with real strong identity, Cornwall. Yeah, but Ken is like, in my head, yeah, there's, there's cunts. Yeah. I mean, the both end of the spectrum is cunts, but you've got red trouser cunts. Yeah.

And then you've got cunts who don't know how to put their trousers on. That's Ken. Right. You can't, you can't tar it with one brush because it's got, you know, the Garden of England, Tumbridge Wells and then it's got fucking Margate and all that nonsense. Get us a Coke, Tinga. That's Kent. Right, sex tourists. So

Kent versus Sorry, first counter game 1709. In 1727 this is when formal rules start to come in and umpires the pitch length is codified as 22 yards. I've no idea it was this early. I generally thought it was like late 1800s. No, no, no this is all cricket's been going on. Cracket has been going on

Cracket. Cracket. Oh, cracket. So the first formal laws of cricket come in in 1744. Now this is when the London club which becomes Lords, the MCC. Middle sex now. So 1744, we should place this for the dummies,

shouldn't we? So, do you take this one? I'll take this one. 1744, this is after the Golden Age of Piracy. Yep. So Blackbeard, all that stuff has gone. That's just happened. Yeah, early 1700s.

The Navy have shut down on piracy. and it is before Rosa Parks refused to get off a bus Before Rosa Parks an extremist, a violent extremist An absolute extremist terrorized that bus

Before the terrorist Rosa Parks Before the suicide bomber Rosa Parks Destroyed a bus Destroyed a bus Unprovoked attack On a law-abiding bus

She blew up 40, 50 innocent people lives ruined. Their day was ruined because their commute was interrupted by a violent extreme with Rosa Parks.

That's not cricket. That's not cricket. Should you play another round and that's not cricket? Charlie, right, come on. Movies you go jingling. So that's not cricket. That's not cricket.

That's not cricket. That's not cricket. Cricket. Cragut. Jesus Christ. Not cricket, but I like it. Charlie. Charlie.

What are you doing to me? Charlie, he will come. Charlie, I'm getting, I'm getting through. He's warning you. I'm getting four, I'm getting five vowels. Oh! You're literally like an American cop who's shaky with a gun. Yeah, yeah.

I'm warning you. I will come. Holgain rice, that's not cricket. That's not cricket. That has instantly killed my erection. So thank you. But you put it in like a wet phone. Brown rice.

Like a phone that's been in the ocean. There's you putting your erection in there. Yeah. If I see Carol Voldem on holiday and then I immediately put my dick in brown rice, it's fine. All the cum just comes out over like 10 hours. into the rice okay so that's two with six one down

okay and finally oh cricket ball that's cricket that's lovely that's lovely stuff right so in 1744 the first formal laws of cricket

there are two stumps one ball over's are only four balls there's no mention of leg before wicket so I guess the story of cricket as it develops is that it's constantly changing

for such a stuffy game that's like wrapped up in privilege and empire it's dynamic it's flowing it's life It's gender fluid. It's the river, it's the water of life. Sort of. Sort of.

Not really. No, it's not. It's all very rigid. But anyway, the 19th century is really where I guess the lasting, you know, the reason people don't like cricket politically now is because of it's the image that it garneres in the 19th century. Yes. Which is why I like it. Because it is a sort of.

You have a big recolonized the curriculum, aren't you? That's my, I am writing a thesis called recolonize the curriculum. So this is very much. I'm not even joking. Um, but the whole, what I like about it is that it, it, to me, the game feels like the closest we get to experiencing the, the, like, the empire's battles, you know, if a wicket is like death, you know, symbolically, and a batsman is fighting off death, but, but their demise is inevitable, you will get out. It's very rare that as a, as, as, if you're a batsman going out

at the start you you survive all the way to the end that's that's very rare carrying your bat as right so it's like reenacting yeah and so it is kind of a performance about the inevitability of suffering of death yeah you can get like the game is so stacked it against the batsman's favor right because there's 11 people around one batsman one here one hero covered in sandbags fighting off zulus you know that is the kind of image so when you get to the, you know, the Stokes innings, the both of them innings, these one person defying death by spraying bullets mercilessly on an oncoming horde of viciously underarmed, you know, natives.

That is, to me, that is what, uh, is so it gets my blood flowing because it sort of feels like an empire we can enjoy. Sort of like when you do bungee jumping and you experience what death would be like. Yeah. And then you, you're safe. It's like that one guy that survived the plane crash in India. Yeah. It's what he feels.

Yeah. Well, that's what to be an opening batsman. That is what it is to be an opening batsman. Yeah. Everyone dies around you. I mean, that guy. He took his helmet off. Yeah.

He got a round of applause. Yeah. Fair enough. Anyway, so cricket quite quickly becomes a tool of colonisation. So India, the West Indies does not exist. No. It's only in cricket that it exists. Yeah.

Because the West Indies is. It's not even called the Caribbean. No. It's still using its colonial term. Yeah. It's a term that we named it. And it's, you know, it's Bermuda, it's Barbados, it's... But it's also, cricket now is a symbol of the empire, with what does the empire mean?

It's like, I guess there was a brutal colonisation and oppression, and now that's over. That's your opinion. We just invite them back to beat us a sport that we invented. Yeah. That feels like... It's sort of like cuck reparations. Yeah, it's like shake hands on it. Yeah.

All's fair. All's fair. All's fair in love and war. Well, I do feel... So India, obviously, love cricket probably the most. That's the centre of cricket. And because India's so fucking big, Cricket is actually the second biggest sport in the world

Which is we get about The first one, yeah So cricket's the second biggest sport in India The first one is asking them to send bobs They absolutely They absolutely love that They absolutely love that Send bobs and vagana

Yeah Behind that then it's then it's cricket So cricket's the biggest sport in the world Because of India Yeah And I do feel Because they love cricket so much I feel we can have curry as well

Do you know what I mean I think that's a fair swap Yeah Because people are always saying like how we have no cuisine and how we just steal things like curry. You know, the curry is being kind of colonised by Britain. I think we should call it quits. Yeah.

Shake hands on it. Well, they got trains as well. Right. But we didn't give them seat reservations. So, to be fair. Cricket for curry feels like a fair cultural swap. Oh, fair's fair. Yeah.

Yeah, call it quiz. I mean, we went to the cricket and had a massive curry. We also gave, yeah, we did. The thing is that you don't play cricket for so long. that your asshole fails you the next day. Your asshole becomes Libya. Yeah, you're not, you're not like, oh, how are you feeling this morning?

I was at the cricket for so long that I've done four poos before 12th. I generally did four poos before midday. You did, it's pretty extraordinary. Bloodbath. Wickets tumbling. Collapse. I had an asshole collapse.

Before lunch. Clapse before lunch. Finn's asshole collapsed before lunch. Yeah, absolutely. Ran through me. Steaming in, these big samosas steaming in. Absolutely castles me.

So what's interesting is that it become, this is when it becomes very, very racially charged. Right. Which is when I start to tune in. Hey what? Hey, what? Sorry, that. So in the Caribbean,

the cricket starts with white plantation owners as batsmen. And the whole point is all the black slaves, you're trying to get me out. And the whole thing is the batsman. The batsman is like the aristocrats. So even in England. Yes. In England, like, it becomes this stereotype over the Victorian era of the Southern batsmen, the Lord of Batsman, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, the White Batsman against, the Southern Batsman against the Southern Batsman against the Northern Co-min. Come on, then, you scoundrel. Yeah, the coal mining thick-oh. That's bowling, right? So, Charlie, you're a bowler, aren't you, Charlie?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spoles are thick, right? And I'm desperately trying to. get rid of him right right that's my yeah fuck off fuck off no run and get that and so it becomes this very kind of racially charged thing where it's all plantation you know and so this is where the whole fast bowling starts to become like imbued with this sense of um justice and like i'm gonna take you i'm gonna just throw this as hard as i can at you wait because it i guess if a plantation owner was making his slaves bowl against him that was the only time yeah they could get any of their frustrations out totally yeah the codified way yeah that's interesting And so...

So that's how fast bowler was invented. Basically. The anger of slavery. Yeah. So now, now when you watch, like, if England are playing the West Indies, and West Indies aren't the force they were, but like in the 70s, when the West Indian team was the best team in the world, and they were bowling... Is that Lara?

No, it's before that. So it's like Viv Richards. Right, right, right. And it's the West Indian fast bowlers. Michael Holdings. Holding is one of them. Like, that, that team, the symbolism of that team. castling an English batsman

this is why I love it. It's like the empire is cleaved open. But also what is part of England is even though us getting meeting my West Indies we sort of love it. Yeah because we sort of love getting our just dessert. Yeah totally. And getting punished for it. That's built into

I guess the modern idea of English cricket is it isn't about winning. It is about being losing. Yeah, totally. The English batting claps. There's like a guilt to cricket or we've been naughty. We deserve to be punished. That's what it is. It's like You know, it shouldn't really still be a game. But we also control all the rules and are constantly shifting the rules.

So as soon as we lose, we're like, well, the point is to lose. Yeah, actually, that's not cricket. It's actually kind of classier to lose. And then we win, well, we wouldn't want to win like that. Well, bowling fast, that's not fair. That's not cricket. What were you going to say, Charlie, I had to hand up. I was just going to say, is it like a modern equivalent to, do you know the batsman's holding the bowlers willie?

Yeah. Like, Gooch. Is Gooch still around? No, Gucci. But it's not a modern equipment. There's always been gooches. it'd be like what's like a

it'd be like the batsman's pegging for the bowler's asshole yeah I mean you'd need you need to have I mean pegging is a surname you need to have two cricketticles

with like John Pegging and Brian arousole because people won't know no no so this is I mean this is great dad my dad told me this with Glee when I was young this is a great dad law here

so this is for people who are really if you're still this is a way into cricket I guess yeah it is so it's commentary and there's a bowler it's called Michael Holding and the batsman's called

Peter Willey, I think that's the same. So it's the equivalent. But then they can't hold it in afterwards. That's what I mean is that when the stuffiness breaks, because you realize that these are all public schoolboys, like sniggering at the back of the bus. Yeah. Then there's the other one which is, um, what's the famous TMS thing? TMS commentary. The Batsman's got AIDS. The Lego. Getting his Lego. Where am I? Getting his Lego. I've shat myself. Yeah. The Batsman's got AIDS. The bowler's pegging himself. The bowler's been binging. No, it's the leg over one, the leg over clip.

Oh, the leg over, yeah. Anyway, now obviously we could go about how the game changes, like overarm bowling legalises in 1864, and this kind of starts, means that bowling becomes faster. But for me, it's more about the, you know, the way it's so intertwined with Empire. Right. And it becomes, like, it's the only real vestige of Empire left is cricket.

Yeah. And so, obviously it goes to Australia. Now, in our next episode, we're going to deal with the ashes. it becomes big in Australia and in at the beginning England are still beating everyone obviously

England's beating all the colonies and it's sort of like the circus where we bring the colonies over and then we beat them and everyone goes oh aren't we brilliant but that's kind of with all the sports we invented right

rugby cricket tennis football at some point when no one knows the rules we are the best and that goes so quickly there's an Australian Aboriginal tour Charlie can you find when that is I think it's in the

1800s there is an Australian Aboriginal tour of England and they come and play they play they only just lose 1868 but this is all the time of the kind of human zoos and stuff so there's a real element yeah fuck they they play 47 matches and record 14 wins 14 losses 19 draws but it's sort of a like a circus thing because people are come to look at Australian aboriginal cricket epitomises what's good and bad about England at the same time

like it's such an English game and it's got all of the eccentricities and the silliness and the whimsy of English culture, the sense of humour. Yeah. But also the reason why we progressed so slowly compared to the colonies in this period is because we had such a rigid class system that it wasn't a meritocracy. No. You know, you could be grandfathered into being an opening batsman.

Yeah, if you sucked off the right bloke, then you were opening the batting. Yeah, so we won't get in the talented people. And the captain had to be of a certain class. Yeah. So it meant we just couldn't, you know. And also, if you look at most sports, if you look at like Brazilian footballers coming out the favelas, a lot of Indian cricketers,

sport is this only way out. So you're going to go there with a furiosity and focus because it's your only route out. And I just think of an aristocrat is not going to have that same sort of focus and discipline to be great. So the first ever, I didn't know this. Did you know this? This is crazy.

If you're a cricket fan, this is when this stat's going to blow your head off. Right. The first ever international cricket match, which is also the first ever international sports match at all, across all sports, ever, is in 1844. Guess who's playing? I know.

I know the answer. Oh, you do know the answer? So it's not fun. Guess who's playing? England, Samoa. Canada versus America. Oh, right. Okay.

Isn't that crazy? It's mad. It's crazy. Because, obviously, the pilgrims take. over cricket to the new world right and they fucking love it fucking hell it's on the boat with the Mayflower cricket is on the air well cricket cricket

cracket cracker crack it crack up crack up um so cricket's on the Mayflower it's in the new world Canada beat America in New York in the first ever international so madness 1844 but what happens then is that in the 1900s

that's not cricket I'm sorry Canada America that's not cricket But in the 1900s, the first ever international body is founded. Well, it's now the ICC. Was that the first international body of any sport? I guess so, because it's still the first sport. But the ICC, the I stands for Imperial.

So that's why we now, it's only Commonwealth countries that play cricket because the cricket is massive in the US, Canada and Argentina in the 19th century. But when... We don't develop it there because we try and... Well, yeah, so the whole like test playing nations and all that. That comes in, you only get it if you're in the imperial body. Right. It's India.

It's Australia. It's New Zealand, blah, blah, blah. Should we have another round of... That's not cricket. Yeah, go on. Let's go ahead. That's not cricket. Goose fat.

That's not cricket. Give us another one? Dog. It's not cricket. Dog is not cricket. PlayStation 3, that's a games console. That's a game's console. Okay.

Oh, Intermal Hack, that's cricket. That's cricket. That's bloody cricket. He's naughty. He's naughty. He's naughty? He's naughty. He's naughty?

I think he might be. I mean, that's cricket. that's cricket um i guess it's the most humiliating exposing sport in many ways it's also you know to let's part the history for a second that it's a game of specialisms right it's a team game where you have to specialize as an individual so it's like football but it's golf right but then the people who aren't specialists in batting have to bat so when like the bowler so when like jack leach is partnering stokes at heading lee that's a man he might as well be like a dentist he's got he can't bat right he's there to bowl

but he has to bat he doesn't look right in the kit at all he looks wrong he looks like it's like middle management just out in the middle some bald cunt on a stag dude he's the guy that no one knows on a stag he's like oh right i'll have a point then you know i'll down it yeah sure you know he and he has to face the toughest bowling attack in the world yeah right because he's in the team as a bowler and he hasn't trained to do it the only equivalent and it's like the last The only equivalent in football is playing in goal is when the goalie gets sent it off

and the reserve is injured and then a right back has to go in goal to save a penalty and that basically happens every game every game of cricket that's happening that's what I love about it is that the failure and like it's baked into the whole game

and then you have heroic last stands from the bowlers occasionally they can get up to 50s 60s there's nothing better than a I think in in South Africa Stuart Broad and Mark Wood just decided who were both English bowlers just decided to fucking

go for it and start throwing it. They put on like 80 runs, just knocking it about. Amazing. And it's so humiliating for the bowling team, because these guys can't bat. They're not batsmen. Yeah. Oh, I love it. Anyway, so 1844 is the first international game.

And then the empire takes the game away from the new world. So you think about people always talking about the death of test cricket, cricket's always dying. I mean, it's always dying. That's cricket. That is cricket. The cricket needs to always be under threat of dying. Just like the British Empire.

Always on the back foot. And also at the height of the British Empire, we thought the empire was going to die. Yes. Yeah. It's the same, it's the same paranoid mentality. Paranoid underdog,

yeah, is cricket. And also I think what's interesting is that, you know, you go to any of the other countries that play cricket are warm countries normally. Yeah.

Kind of better conditions to play cricket consistently. Here it rains off all the time. Mm. Which is crazy. But that is more cricket. Well, the weather is a, the weather's a factor in the game.

Yeah. Yeah. But it's also like, being able to have a five day test and then you can go to one and it's better to be all day and you don't see any cricket because it's raining and you don't get refund that's cricket that is so cricket just to be miserably sat there on an english summer yeah middle of july pissing it down no the stands uncovered yeah you spent loads of money to come see it and you take the day off work and you're just watching

the rain that's cricket that's cricket that's cricket um but i just i suppose i want to i want to dwell on the fact that if if that so this guy uh that sets up the imperial cricket commission or whatever it's called. He's so part of the establishment that his daughter or his son marries Churchill's daughter. That's how much of a stitch-up it is. And he sets up the imperial thing,

which basically, if he hadn't done that, if he'd made it global, then, you know, we could have Argentinian Nazi criminals playing cricket. You know, we could have... Because of the Nazi cricket team. We could have the Nazi cricket team,

you know. We could have Hitler. Blot! One of the great whatifs. One of the great whatifs. Hitler playing cricket. Yeah, what do you, What do you, your views with the future of cricket and what do you want for test cricket?

Do you think it is going to spread or do you think? Because I mean, it's spreading to place like Afghanistan. Yes, yeah, of course. And I think it could spread that in that region. In the Middle East, I can see it taken off. I mean, already... Afghanistan's the first country to get test status that hasn't been kind of like intricately, hasn't had a history with British.

Well, we gave it a go. We did try. We'll do an episode on Cartoon. We got a hit for six. It was a whitewash. We got driven back by the fierce Afghanistan attack. Because I wonder, yeah, could it ever take off in America? Well, it is taking off in America.

I mean, they started an American T20. Yeah, I think rugby would take off before cricket in America, even though rugby's a considerably smaller sport. So the reason why, there's a theory that the reason why Americans have baseball rather than cricket is that the soldiers, is it in World War II? They find cricket too difficult to play. Right. And so they just, they're retarded.

They retarded. apparently the reason why Americans have baseball not cricket is because they're retarded yeah that is interesting actually yeah it's the little bit of trivia yeah that's what the little difference

by the reason is because they're mentally retarded yeah it's much easier to play baseball fascinating is these little things that make history so rich yeah I can't get into baseball at all

really no it's built for people like you you've already got the helmet on yeah you can't see Charlie he's got a full helmet no baseball shit I've been to see it yeah it's just like

every person pause in the game as an ad break live. That's not cricket. It's not cricket. But then have you seen the IPL, the ads on that. I don't think that's cricket. It sort of is cricket. It is cricket, but it's not cricket.

Test cricket expands. So India get test status in 32. And the whole idea of getting test status, again, this is English cricket deciding when a country is legitimate at cricket. So, you know, bear in mind that this goes into the 50s, the 80s, into 2000s. We are legitimate cricket country. Legitimate Krakhan country. A legitimate, test country.

Ireland in 2018, they say that. Really? Legergett Krakhan country. 2018, they get testators. But again, this is like, you could argue, this is a way of Britain still feeling like they have some sort of moral authority over the empire going, you're not a test country, you are, I know, you've proved your time, you can join the club. You know, it's broken international law.

You broke international law. You've stumped Johnny Besto when he was, the ball was dead. You are now outdraught. Australia has to go to the Hague. Like, it is such a clear way that England have held on to the vestiges of empire. But it's almost like people, I think,

even pity us a little bit as like, it is all they've got. Yeah. So let them have it. Yeah. Because it's all they've got. You know, I was thinking the other day, when we're talking about the Aztecs,

and, you know, you look at Spain now, and they've just fucking given up. There's a country that's just in the toilet, right? look at Spain now it's just it's just in a fucking toilet isn't it it's like Adam Hanson

Spain's just in the toilet get his fucking gun no I mean I'm dropping four loads in Spain in the morning after a curry I'm like one of the nicest places to live in the world it's a fucking toilet people are moving there in droves from here because of the quality of life

It's in the fucking time They're just fucking giving up What the fuck is going on to Spain It's literally having an economic boom right now It's in the fucking toilet I just mean the work ethic You know the infrastructure all that Like Italy

You know Italy You speak like it doesn't It's fine It's all crumbling In my head at least But their empire It's in the fucking time Spain

It's in the toilet Right It's in the fucking toilet. You go there, you're just walking around a port to them. Yeah, but you might as well go on a package all this to the glass and be long drops. Because you've gone holiday in Spain and you're like, everywhere there is a hotel. Yeah. It's in the fucking toilet.

It's in the toilet. So my point is their empire was in the 1500s. Right. And they just, you know, they just sleep. The eyes closed. The lid start to go. They just, they fall asleep gradually. And we are just slightly earlier on in that cycle.

And then Greece, their empire was in... That's what I mean. 500 BC. Like on the clock, you know, the clock face... They're in deep REM. They're deep sleep. You cannot wake a Greek. The Greek, you can't wake them up.

Like, you know, like, if you ever try and wake a toddler up, it's impossible. You genuinely, if you're toddler, if it's like three in the morning and your toddler sleeping through, you can just hit them. You can, because you can scream. You know the Eurozone crisis? Yeah. That was the rest of Europe going like this to Greece. Greece is just like... Greece is a three-year-old.

old like you could put Germany's just like yeah you could put a sleeping three year old on nemesis inferno and it would stay asleep yeah that's Greece now right now Spain Spain are not quite that sleep Spain are waking up

they're dozing off Britain is right yeah we're getting there right you know everything's crumbling taxes are high services are low we're we're fucked right but we've we've got cricket that's cricket that's cricket that's cricket do you know what I mean that's that's why yeah it's um I don't know what

my point was I it doesn't matter my point of Spain's a toilet right now body line series we're going to do with the great cricketer the whole ashes will do I mean go on Charlie in terms of the evolution of the rules do you see any kind of mad future rules coming in you know they added a hundreds are completely you know is that failed is that a failed state well well I mean Is getting women interested in the game a failure? In my head, it is. Because that's not what it's for. It's for men to avoid their wives for five days.

Yeah. So the idea that you bring your wife to a game is not cricket. It's not cricket. I also just love that they thought they would make it easy for women to understand. It's going right, they're 100 balls. Get rid of over. Yeah. Has the 100, like, views-wise, been a success?

I think it's getting women and kids into the game. Because the problem is test cricket's, the best form but you can't really World Cup test cricket as we've seen no you can't you do want a World Cup with the point the ODI World Cup I think is good wickets and sixes and fours mean more when they're in a desert of no balls yeah the T20 is like a Jason Statham action film that death doesn't mean anything because everyone's dying all the time yeah like having one someone losing their wicket in a test match is a big thing because they've been in for fucking ages yeah they've been for hours they've been in so long they've had to stop and have a biscuit yeah

There's no other sport we have to stop and have a biscuit and that's the rule. It's crazy. No other sport. Biscuit time. Come in for team biscuits. I've got to stay in before Biscuit.

I've got to make it to Biscuit time. Yeah. But basically The Indians have now got the game and they are well, they're making us pay. Let's just say that. Cricket is now,

yeah, it's an Indian thing now. Yeah. And it is funny that because it just doesn't, I guess it is the colonial thing but you wouldn't India could be the best at nearly any sport really

but they've only chose cricket and IT yeah I guess so yeah cricket and IT yeah and scams yeah burning women in like um yeah I don't know if they've codified that yet I think they need to set up an international board that's not cricket that's not cricket no

but it's funny it's like the the amount of how densely populated India is how many people live in slums for the other sort of situations yeah cricket forming out of that football makes sense in brazilian favelas yes you're going down small balls you're dribbling control down the but cricket yeah but cricket you can play with anything can't you yeah i guess so i guess you look at medieval cricket yeah i mean at school we used to play bin cricket right where we had a wheelie bin as the stumps yeah and then you'd have

like a big textbook and you're a tennis ball yeah that was bin cricket right that was cricket yeah now what's interesting is that in 20 years you know India's the coming power in cricket it is now Indian. Definitely. Fully. Yeah. And so how much longer can us crusty white guys hold on to cricket? Well, they're all going to die and it is going to, yeah.

It's going to become a, it's going to become like there's AI TikToks. That is the Lord's Pavilion in 2130. You wake up in the Lord's Frilyleon. Shit everywhere and the game's over in like 10 minutes. Yeah. That's what Telegraphery just said it's going to happen to this kind of. country. Yes.

Is Indians going to shit on the Lord's before? They're going to flood the long room with poo. Yeah.

Thanks very much for listening, guys. Yeah, I mean, sorry, this, this, we've kind of, I mean, I don't really want to get into the T-20. I don't care about T-20.

No. But it is history, it is the part of history of cricket. But, no, I think the, the idea of cricket as the last, it's the,

it's the, you know, if, you know, that idea of, when someone dies, they live on in the memory of the people, people that love them, I think when the British Empire died, it kind of transmuted into things

like cricket, where the sensibility, the sense of ourselves. It's historical reenactment. It is historical reenactment, totally. It's like American Civil War reenactment. You're going back over, but instead we're reenacting when it was an empire. And instead of guns, we've got balls and bats and the colonies, it's all the same. And so it feels very safe for a particular type of English person. You?

Me. It's my comfort blanket. I feel safe. I feel so safe. Listen to Test Bank Special. You feel safe because it's it's nostalgic for a period that you missed out on. That I would have excelled in. That's it.

It's that I was born in the wrong era. It's your going there being like I was born in the wrong time. This is like my only taste of what was taken from me. Totally. I should have been at Rourke's Drift. I should have been. I should have been in the hospital. shooting a gun out of a glory hole

at Zulu Warriors. I should have been sticking my dick in a glory hole while other people shoots and soothing. And I wasn't and now I live in a time where there are actual glory holes in service station toilets and I think it's a disgrace

and people don't wear a suit to do podcast I think that's a disgrace people don't wear a suit to leave the house you know. Bowler hats are funny I think they just look nice.

Right? The Prime Minister doesn't dress properly he's a slob, yeah? Prime Minister is playing five aside. What are you doing? Yeah. That's common man stuff. Yeah.

You should be in the nets. Right? I live in the wrong time. And the only time I feel like I'm in the right era is when I'm watching cricket. At lords. At lords. And the English are collapsing. And the next day my asshole goes with them.

That's when I feel safe. And that's why I love this game. And that's why I'm ending the history of cricket in 1950. The history ends there. Everything since ends a disgrace. Yeah. It's not, though. Stokes at Headingley is the greatest thing

It's ever happened. Exactly. That's what, yeah, it was you recapting. Because I feel, I'm watching it and I feel, and I'm explaining the sense of pride, I feel, because to me it's like, it is the last stand. It's the empire fighting off. Yeah. The uncouth Australian criminal natives.

And seeing Australians unhappy makes me pumped in a way that doesn't make sense nowadays. No. It makes sense a hundred years ago. Yeah. actually were criminals. But now it's like criminal fourth removed. It's four generations down, you know?

Anyway, God, I love cricket. Thanks for watching. If you're still with us, I can tell for sure that you're male. Let's look at the analytics. Oh, the analytics on this one's going to be good. Yeah. We'll get some new listeners. Yeah.

I think we'll be, yeah. And the people are like, this is brilliant. Listen to the next episode. This is terrible. It's terrible. This is about the fucking reformation. What are you on about? Now, if you'd like more.

More? More? More? Then we're going to do a patron special. Every Friday we do a patron special and this one is on the Rebel Cricket Tours Apartheid. Our next episode we're doing with the grade cricketer, the history of the ashes, those Aussie blokes, one of my favorite podcasts, absolute dream to have them in. That's already on the Patreon.

If you want to see that now, if not you can wait until Thursday. And thanks for watching. And we will see you next time for. More cracket. Until then. Until then. That's out.