Financial Feminist - 243. Broke? Start Here with Dasha Kennedy (The Broke Black Girl)

Episode Date: July 7, 2025

Being broke isn’t just a number in your bank account—it’s a feeling of exhaustion, fear, and isolation. It’s a cycle that so many of us know intimately, and one that today’s guest, Dasha Ken...nedy—aka The Broke Black Girl—has lived, studied, and helped thousands escape. In this deeply honest conversation, Dasha and I talk about what it means to truly be broke, the systemic barriers that keep so many people in financial survival mode, and the very first steps you can take to begin rewriting your money story. Whether you’re deep in debt, feeling stuck living paycheck-to-paycheck, or just craving financial stability, this episode will meet you where you are––and give you the tools and motivation you need to get unstuck. Dasha’s links: Website: www.thebrokeblackgirl.com  Book: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Moving-Beyond-Broke/ Dasha-Kennedy/9781668025017  Podcast episodes mentioned: Breaking Down the Wealth Gap + Minority Appraisal Crisis with Tiffany Aliche: https://herfirst100k.com/financial-feminist-show-notes/2021-5-24-4-breaking-down-the-racial-wealth-gap-minority-appraisal-crisis-with-tiffany-aliche-aka-the-budgetnista/  How America’s Racist Roots Fueled a Predatory Bail Bond Industry, with Tricia Cleppe: https://herfirst100k.com/financial-feminist-show-notes/2021-5-24-6-how-americas-racist-roots-fueled-a-predatory-bail-bond-industry-with-tricia-cleppe/  Read transcripts, learn more about our guests and sponsors, and get more resources at https://herfirst100k.com/financial-feminist-show-notes/what-to-do-when-broke-dasha-kennedy/ Looking for accountability, live coaching, and deeper financial education? Check out our exclusive community! Join the $100K Club: https://herfirst100k.com/100k-pod   Our favorite travel and cash-back credit cards, plus other financial resources: https://herfirst100k.com/tools Not sure where to start on your financial journey? Take our FREE money personality quiz! https://herfirst100k.com/quiz Special thanks to our sponsors: Squarespace Go to www.squarespace.com/FFPOD to save 10% off your first website or domain purchase. Indeed Get a $75 sponsored job credit to get your jobs more visibility at Indeed.com/FFPOD. Rocket Money Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/FFPOD. Quince For your next trip, treat yourself to the luxe upgrades you deserve from Quince. Go to Quince.com/FFPOD for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Netsuite If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, download the free e-book Navigating Global Trade: 3 Insights for Leaders at NetSuite.com/FFPOD. Saily Get an exclusive 15% discount on Saily eSIM data plans! Go to Saily.com/FFPOD download the Saily app and use code 'FFPOD' at checkout. Masterclass Get 15% off any annual membership at Masterclass.com/FFPOD. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Being broke is awful. It's debilitating, it's exhausting, and it feels like a cycle with no end in sight. Add to that recessions and the job market and other systemic barriers, and it can feel totally hopeless. But today's guest proves that it is not hopeless. Daisha Kennedy is a financial activist, speaker, and the author of the book Moving Beyond Broke. I can remember just growing up and walking in my neighborhood from one end of the block to the other. I was more than likely going to run into multiple tech cashing places, payday loan offices. And I probably only remember ever seeing one bank. As the founder of the broke black girl, she has built a thriving online community dedicated to providing culturally relevant financial education to black women. But every single woman can listen to this episode
Starting point is 00:00:45 and listen to her work and get so many incredible pieces of advice. When you are so deeply embedded into why women have the experience with money like we have today, and I think me and you both understand the history of it, to me nothing about that is funny. Today in this conversation, we talk about the topic I actually struggle with most
Starting point is 00:01:05 as a personal finance educator, which is what to do when you are truly, truly broke. Daisha shares the tips and the systems she created to go from running behind on payday loans to becoming financially confident, and the framework she's created to help her and her community thrive. So you may not be able to do something
Starting point is 00:01:24 for someone financially, but maybe you can give somebody a ride to work. That's not money exchanging, but it's a way that you're helping them build wealth in a way indirectly that takes the financial burden off of someone else. We also get into the systemic barriers that often face the black community, including generational beliefs and trauma that often leads to a distrust in the system, including things like banks and other financial institutions. How I feel like social media sometimes can make a joke out of being broke or it can make
Starting point is 00:01:53 it seem like being irresponsible with your money is for laughs and giggles. And I feel like it's not. If you've ever felt truly broke, this is the episode for you. Let's get into it. But first a word from our sponsors. We love highlighting our incredible sponsors that keep the show free for you to listen. And we're giving you all the deals right up top with some more information later in the episode. This episode of Financial Feminist is sponsored in part by Squarespace, Rocket Money, NetSuite, and Salie. Need a website?
Starting point is 00:02:21 Whether it's for a brand, portfolio, or store, Squarespace makes it easy. Head on over to squarespace.com slash ffpod and use code ffpod for 10% off your first purchase. Stop paying for subscriptions you forgot about. Rocket Money finds and cancels them for you. Go to rocketmoney.com slash ffpod to take control of your finances. Running a growing business? NetSuite helps you manage it all in one place. Download the free CFO's guide to AI and machine learning at netsuite.com slash ffpod. Traveling soon? Stay connected with Staley's easy and affordable eSIM data plans. Get 15% off at staley.com slash ffpod
Starting point is 00:02:56 with code ffpod at checkout. So you're a financial educator who works mostly at the intersection of black women and money. Why is this particular space so important and why is your work so important? With women, especially black women, we are usually the financial backbones of our families, our communities. So whether people recognize that or not, whether they give us credit for it or not, that is the truth. We are usually the ones that are stretching paychecks, raising our children, taking care of our age and parents, pouring into relationships, and still trying to build something for ourselves. And in many cases, in most cases, all cases, we need money to do that.
Starting point is 00:03:50 But we have always, history proves it, we have been excluded from wealth building opportunities. So when I talk about money and when I talk about women, I'm not just talking about budgeting and credit scores. I'm talking about power, freedom, opportunities, the ability for us to make decisions from a place that's rooted in stability, not survival. So when I think about women and money and how we exist in that intersection, because that's where transformation happens. You and I have been internet friends for a while. And I think it's one of the biggest
Starting point is 00:04:21 reasons is because we view money in the same way, which is as choices and freedom and power. So for somebody listening to the rest of this episode, what do you hope they take away by the end? Like, what are we trying to do in our conversation today that allows someone to view money as that fix for so many problems in their life? What I would want people to take from this is that when women have access to financial stability, they don't just change their lives, they don't just change our lives. We shift the trajectory of our entire household, our children, our communities. And that's why I think it's so important for us to have conversations like this that center us in the middle, and not even the middle, forget that, in the front of those money conversations. Yeah. So I love asking people their first money memory,
Starting point is 00:05:10 but you have this incredibly powerful quote in your book. The first time I earned my very first dollar also happened to be the first time I experienced feeling undervalued for my skills and underpaid for my work. Break that down for me. Oh, okay. But this is going to be a little touchy. I'm going to be honest because I had this experience with my father, and if anyone is familiar with my story, my father passed away when I was 29,
Starting point is 00:05:34 so he played a major part in my finances. But when I was around 12 years old, my dad, he was able to save up some money, and he started his own company. It was called the Lewis Kitchen. It was a catering company. And my dad hired me to work with him. So I had spent probably weeks with my dad prepping for a wedding reception.
Starting point is 00:05:53 I went grocery shopping with him, picking out all of the utensils, all of the things that we would need. And I thought I was going to show up and do the big dog work. I thought I was going to show up and work side by side, you know, with my dad. And as soon as I got there, he immediately stuck me on things like sweeping, washing the dishes, things that I now know being older or more associated with women's work. And I felt like I was way more qualified to do other things.
Starting point is 00:06:19 I had been working with him all of this time. And when I when we showed up, I was kind of like pushed to the side. And when it came time to pay us out at the end of the day, I was seeing some of my boy cousins getting way more money than me because they carried a box? Because they carry boxes and things that were considered, you know, strong or men's work. And when my dad paid me, I was heartbroken.
Starting point is 00:06:43 And so I didn't have the language for it at 12 years old, but I knew that it was not right. It did not feel okay. And I don't think that my dad did that intentionally. I think my dad was a young father, so I think it probably was still so embedded in him that that's just what girls do, the sweeping, the cleaning. And unfortunately, that's the result of the system
Starting point is 00:07:04 that we live in. And that was my first time ever earning money. And at that same time, it was the first time I had ever experienced being underpaid and undervalued for my work. And unfortunately it came by way of my father. So that within itself was a tough experience for me as a young girl, especially. Well, and one of the things that I did a lot of research about for my book is kind of what you're talking about here where the backbone
Starting point is 00:07:30 of our communities, our systems, our society, our entire country is quote unquote women's work, right? We're thinking nurses, teachers, social workers, therapists, right? This tends to be female-dominated industries, but almost all of them are deeply undercompensated. And so it's almost like this self-fulfilling prophecy where women take these jobs because it's largely what we believe we're supposed to do, and I put that in quotes, but then society deeply undervalues that labor. And it's hard to tell, does it just undervalue that labor or does it undervalue that labor because it's women doing it?
Starting point is 00:08:13 And that's something that I still struggle with it today, even being in this industry for so long, seeing what we see all the time in personal, financial content and conversations. And it's still something that I struggle with today because it's like the world knows that it needs the work of women, that it cannot survive without the work of women. But to still be at a space in 2025 where we're having to question and fight to still be paid, that to me, that's like the biggest struggle, even just trying to present personal finance or just talk about money in a way that positions women and then seeing the reality that we know that the world cannot move without us. That's just me being honest. We know that the world needs the work and
Starting point is 00:08:57 the labor of us. So I don't know why we're still questioning if women should or should not be paid what we know that we deserve. Yeah. And that's, we're not even talking about the non-compensated labor with, you know, mothers, caregivers, all of that. So there's so much of this that is, of course, systemic, right? That's outside of our control. And I think that's one thing that you and I talk about ad nauseam is it's like, there's only so much you can control. But I would love to get in to your story with that because you go by broke black girl. Can you talk about when you first realized you were broke? And then what did you define or consider broke to be? Yeah. So I honestly didn't realize I was broken until I was in my early 20s. Because every
Starting point is 00:09:42 interaction that I had with money before that was normal to me. So like paycheck to paycheck or hearing my family say, oh I can do that for you when I get paid on Friday. Knowing now that that was living paycheck to paycheck but back then that was just normal. Like oh we can do those things just have to wait till we get paid or someone coming by the house to collect on a bill and being told like, Oh, don't answer the door. Don't answer the phone. That was normal to me. So I thought that that's just how things worked. So much so that even when I got my first apartment,
Starting point is 00:10:14 I didn't think to save for furniture. I went right to places like Rent-A-Center and Aarons where you can rent furniture because that's what I saw. that's what I thought was normal. So it wasn't until I started working at a finance company and I was hearing people use terms like 401ks, emergency funds, savings, and I'm like, what the hell are they talking about? I had never heard of these things before.
Starting point is 00:10:40 So when I was through in the fire, that's when I realized, okay, I've been living a completely different Financial life than most of the other adults that are navigating this world and that was my first experience with being broke But even with that being said when I realized Okay that I had been broke that I had some some habits many that I had no control over Because again, I was born into my family and that's how they handle finances based off how they experience money.
Starting point is 00:11:08 And for me, I realized like, okay, being broke is just a quick stop. It's not my final destination. I don't have to stay here. And being broke, I didn't have to feel like a failure. And I wanted to be honest about that. So even with the broke black girl, I didn't want to shy away from the name. I could have easily said the rich, you know, the rich black girl or just
Starting point is 00:11:29 the rich. I could easily say any of those things. But me, when I think about being broke and I think about being a black girl, both of those together played a major part in my experience with money. And I wanted to be honest about that. Well, and for you, what do you feel like were the factors that led to your financial situation? Maybe let's talk first about some of the systemic barriers and then let's talk about maybe some of the things that were decisions you made that with education you realized, oh, that probably wasn't a great decision. Oh, absolutely. So I can go, my mom was a teenager when my mom gave birth to me.
Starting point is 00:12:05 And I'll be honest, my mom was 14 years old when I was born. So being born to two teenage parents, not of age to work, you know, a traditional job, let alone a nine to five. So I was immediately thrown into being, you know, born to teenage parents. My mom still lived with her mom. At that time, my grandma was the only homeowner in our family.
Starting point is 00:12:26 So we had multiple generations living in one home. We lived in a specific area by way of redlining, being pushed out of getting fair mortgages. So all of these things trickled down to me. So by the time I was 15, the things that are considered systemic barriers now, they were normal to me. I didn't know that they were barriers until I saw something different. And so I had already developed habits like living paycheck to paycheck, because I just thought like, okay, you get paid, you spend all your money, you get another paycheck and life goes on.
Starting point is 00:12:58 So I had already developed so many bad habits by the time I was an adult that followed me well over until I was like 30. So when we're thinking about that too, I mean, there's so much at play in your story that, again, didn't feel like that barrier until you realized something else. Was there a moment for you where you discovered, oh, this isn't maybe normal or this isn't something that I have to do? I don't have to rent furniture. I can figure out a way to save up. Like, was there a particular moment or something that happened in your story where you kind of went, oh,
Starting point is 00:13:34 money does mean the ability to have a different life? Oh, absolutely. I had got sucked into payday loans. Can we talk about that? So I just want to pause you really quick, because it's something that every time it comes up on this show, I have to take a moment. Everybody, if you don't know what a payday loan is, it is the loan that in theory gets you to the next payday, right? But very rarely does.
Starting point is 00:13:57 They're like the check cashing places typically in lower income or black and brown communities. And they are 400% interest on average. And no, that's not a typo. No, that's not like I have to get out my soapbox. It makes me so mad because this is proof that there's so much systemically and there's so much predatory behavior
Starting point is 00:14:15 in the financial services industry. I'm sorry, I cut you off, but I just get so angry immediately. Okay, so talk to me about your payday loan experience. No, you're good because even thinking about it now, it really does upset me because to even go back to your point about those being strategically placed in black and brown neighborhoods, I can remember going just growing up and walking in my neighborhood from one end of the block to the other. I was more than likely going to run into multiple check cashing places,
Starting point is 00:14:43 payday loan offices like they were there there and I probably only remember ever seeing one bank, one actual traditional bank in my neighborhood but there were tons of check cashing places. So get, so think of me being young, I'm about 18 you know at this time and everywhere I'm going I'm seeing these neon signs like cash or a check here get an advance on your paycheck You know never mentioning anything about you know the fees and at this point you're already so knee-deep in and you have convinced yourself That you need this money to float you over not looking into any other options at the time I didn't know any other options the moment I signed for that payday loan,
Starting point is 00:15:25 it was almost like signing my life away. Because once I got in it, it took me forever to get out of. And it was just one payday loan after other, one payday loan after other. Because what people don't realize is, unless you have the money to come up off of $500 the next week and not need it again, you're going to have to get the payday loan again.
Starting point is 00:15:46 So I got sucked into the payday loan cycle and just there I was. I remember getting a phone call. This one, it was like, okay, Daxie, you gotta do some shit differently. I remember walking into the house, I got a phone call, and it was from me being delinquent on the payday loan because at this point I'm using one payday loan
Starting point is 00:16:04 to pay off the next payday loan. Just trying to float myself I got a phone call and the phone call was extremely threatening. I didn't know this was illegal at this time I'm still young I'm scared out of my mind. So they're like if you don't pay this loan back We're gonna send the police to your house now mind you I'm a black girl living in the city As soon as I hear police I'm freaking out so they like, we're gonna send the police to your house, you wanna get arrested, we're gonna do this and this, and I'm just scared. So I immediately paid it off.
Starting point is 00:16:31 Immediately, I could have been scammed, I don't know what could have been a thing, but I know I was so fearful at that time, I immediately paid it off. And I remember sitting on my porch like, it has to be a better way. It has to be a better way. And at that time I knew I needed more
Starting point is 00:16:45 money. That was just a simple answer, like snatch the bandaid off. I needed more money. So at that time for me that looked like working overtime, just picking up a few extra shifts at that time just to get me a little cushion. But I knew that was the defining moment for me where it was like, okay, something has to change. You got to do something different. Well, and again, with payday loans, I'm going to harp on it a little bit more and then we can move on. But like, it's just, it's something that I did not know. Like I grew up in a middle to maybe upper middle class house. Like my parents didn't grow up with a lot. And so my parents worked really hard to create a better life for me. I would see these places, we would drive by them, but I had never entered one until I
Starting point is 00:17:32 was at a financial conference where there was literally the inactivity to try to go cash a check and try to get a loan and figure out what the percentage interest rate was. I remember just being blown away by the amount, right? The cycle of that. Because again, for the average person listening, student loan, 6% ish on average right now. Credit cards, worse, but like 22% on average. 400% interest is the average payday loan interest rate. So as soon as you hear that to your point of just it has to become a cycle because you're in theory getting the payday loan to extend your money until the next payday, but then you have to pay 400% interest on $500. That's an obscene amount of money.
Starting point is 00:18:18 So then you have to take out another payday loan and another one to pay that and pay that and pay that. So I think for a lot of our listeners, definitely there's some that have gotten in that cycle, but some are just in the cycle of debt where it's not 400% interest, but it does feel like that kind of, you know, I'm trying to dig my way out of this hole, but sand keeps falling in.
Starting point is 00:18:39 You mentioned the kind of strategies of like making more money. What was the mindset shift for you to realize, okay, we have to do something to get out of this, even if it is not entirely my fault that I'm in this position. Deja's story is so common. We talk about payday loans and one of our first ever episodes on the show with my friend and activist Trisha Kleppe. I highly recommend listening to that episode, episode six. After this one, if you're interested in better understanding just how fucked up the payday loan industry is, she also just has one of the most impactful stories
Starting point is 00:19:11 I've ever heard. When we come back, Dasha is talking about the mindset shifts she made to change her path and the mindset shifts that you can use to and the first steps you need to take if you feel broke. Stay tuned. to take if you feel broke. Stay tuned. It is official, everybody. I am going on the cooking intensive. I know we've talked about it before. I've been dallying with the idea, but it is official. I've literally booked it. I'm filling out the forms right now. I am so excited. But boy, do my knife skills need work. So masterclass is where I'm going to be turning to today. With Masterclass, you can learn from the best
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Starting point is 00:21:26 and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Indeed.com slash FF pod. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need. So for me, I think the mindset shift for me was it's gonna be a little different because I had kids really young.
Starting point is 00:21:46 So about when I was going through all of this, I already had a child. And for me as a mom, I just did not want my son to pay for like my lack of anything. So lack of money, lack of knowledge, lack of know how, I just didn't want him to pay for that. And so the mindset shift, I needed to start looking at money as a tool.
Starting point is 00:22:11 I needed it to be something that I can use to get me from point A to point B. It couldn't be something that I just wanted to hold on to. I needed to strategically use it to catapult us forward in some type of way. And the way that I look at debt even today is that if I can free up as much debt as possible in a month, that creates more opportunity, more opportunities to save, to invest, to enhance my quality of life. And that can look like something as far as moving into a safer community all the way down to a better pair of walking shoes.
Starting point is 00:22:46 Like if I don't have to give all of my money to debt payments, I can use it in a better way and just keeping that in mind. I was always determined to get out of the payday loan cycle and keep debt as low as possible or at least be able to manage it. So for me, the mindset shift was, I worked too damn hard for my money. I don't want to spend it all giving it back to someone else when it has no return to me
Starting point is 00:23:16 in a way that's going to improve my life. One of the questions I really struggle to answer is I 100% understand what's happening. People come to us and say like, I have nothing left over. I can't do anything else. Like I work two jobs already. I cut my spending. This is something I struggle to answer because at that point, if you truly are
Starting point is 00:23:36 living paycheck to paycheck, and I'm not taking paycheck to paycheck and you have like a Netflix subscription, right? Cause some people live paycheck to paycheck because they don't know how to manage their money or they're ignoring their financial problems, right? Because some people have paycheck to paycheck because they don't know how to manage their money or they're ignoring their financial problems, right? But I'm talking true systemic paycheck to paycheck. Have you found anything that offers help to people who are truly struggling in this situation? So I would say this and I think in that moment, I think, and I'll say this, and maybe you can relate to this a little bit,
Starting point is 00:24:07 I think in that moment, it's time to like take off the financial educator hat, because I think in that moment, most people want validation, because that's exactly what I need. They wanna be seen, like that's exactly what I needed when that was me. Like I needed someone to say, okay, you're not making this up.
Starting point is 00:24:25 You're not crazy. We know that this is happening. And I absolutely in the beginning, I just wanted it to be fixed. I wanted strategy. But the reality was there was no other answer besides just got to make more money. And sometimes that comes off like no one wants to hear that in their mom because that's not always like an overnight fix and I completely understand that so I knew like for me back then I just wanted validation like I know I'm not making this up I know
Starting point is 00:24:52 I'm not crazy I'm know like this this is a real I've done I've cut everything out can't cut nothing else out I probably don't even have the time to even pick up an extra shift or whatever but in this moment just let me be seen just let me be validated so Just let me be validated. So with the broke black girl, that was something that I saw a lot. And I think that's why it's so important to just create safe spaces
Starting point is 00:25:11 where you can have honest conversations, free from judgment, and just give people a moment to vent. Because sometimes that's priceless. Once a person is able to like get that off their chest, to me, I think in many cases, that's priceless. Now we have talked about it. Now let's get into strategy. Now let's put the have talked about it. Now let's get into strategy. Now let's put the financial educator hat back on.
Starting point is 00:25:28 Let's get into strategy. Let's get into next steps. But I don't think that, I don't think, as far as me and you, as long as we do this, I don't think there's ever gonna be an easy answer when we hear that question. Because it really is only one answer, but I know that's not the immediate go-to answer
Starting point is 00:25:44 because people just want to be validated and seen in that moment. I think that's a great perspective. I 100% agree. I think in addition to that, people want to realize and be confirmed that it's not their fault or like there's not something that they could be doing because they go to people like Dave Ramsey or, you know, Caleb Hammer, anybody that's yelling at them about their choices. And there's so much shame on a good day in the personal finance community, right? But there's a lot of shame when it truly does feel like I'm doing everything I possibly can.
Starting point is 00:26:21 It still doesn't feel like enough. Is this my fault? And I'm like, girly pop, it's not. It's not your fault. It's not. Even though a million people want to tell you that it's because you're not working hard enough, or it's because you made this stupid choice 10 years ago, right? And it's like, you probably didn't have the education you do now, or you probably didn't have the wherewithal to understand, you
Starting point is 00:26:43 know, what would be a smarter financial choice. And sometimes you got to do what you got to do in order to get to, you know, the next paycheck. And so that I think that's the other thing in addition, is people just want to definitely feel seen, feel validated, but also just know that like, this is where the system has failed you. This is where there's nothing additionally that you, it's not your fault in this case, you know? And I think it's important for people to know that being broke or experiencing any type of, and I always use the word broke
Starting point is 00:27:16 because that is a reality for most people. And I think that being broke is not something to be ashamed about. It's sometimes, it's just what it is. And I always want being broke is not something to be ashamed about. It's sometimes it's just what it is. And I always want people to know like it's not a personal failure. It's just a temporary financial circumstance. That's all that it is. And we live in a culture today that treats poverty or being broke like a character flaw.
Starting point is 00:27:41 Like it's a flaw and it's not. Yes, identity. It is 100% not because, you not because many of us have been there, I've been broke and it wasn't always because I was irresponsible, but because I was trying to survive and I want more people to understand that it's not like some scarlet ladder that you have to wear. It's just a stop, it's a pause, it's a part of the journey. And it's not, it's not who you are. It's really in many cases, like just where you've been. That's to me ultimately, that's what it came down to for me.
Starting point is 00:28:15 So the person who's listening, who is like, I am broke, or I'm damn close to it. What is their first step to getting unbroke? The very first thing, and this is probably the hardest thing that I see a lot of people want to avoid. I think the very first thing is time to look at everything that's going on. I always tell people when you say that you're broke or you say you don't have any money, take the assumption out. A lot of times we're just saying that we probably haven't dug into bank statements, credit card
Starting point is 00:28:43 statements, opening. I know I tell people a lot to open your mail so that you have an idea of what's going on. I think the very first step is just getting involved with your money. To me, I look at having a relationship with my money as probably the most intimate relationship that I have. I want to know what you're thinking, what's going on, why are we going over here, what can we be doing differently? I think of that as the most intimate relationship ever because I want to be completely involved. I want to know everything
Starting point is 00:29:10 So I always encourage people to figure out what's going on dig into Everything when I first started the broke black girl. This was the first thing we did as a group I had everyone pull bank statements and we just comb through everything And so seeing some of the feedback of people realizing like, oh, I'm spending like a thousand extra dollars on fast food or I'm spending like $500 here or there, or I'm paying these extra fees in my phone subscription that I didn't know about,
Starting point is 00:29:37 because on average people are not looking. They're not looking into the bank statements, the credit card statements. They're not reviewing any of those things. And I know for me it was more so rooted in in the beginning for me Okay, if my lights are on no one's calling my phone The repo man isn't trying to like get my car off the off the street. Everything is good It was like out of sight out of mind everything is good But the reality of it was everything was not good and I would have known that much earlier had I just paused for a little while
Starting point is 00:30:05 and combed through everything. So I always tell people the first step is you have to figure out what is going on. You gotta put yourself in a driver's seat. You have to. Yeah, I think that fear comes from, again, I don't wanna look at my money because I'm too scared of what I'm gonna find.
Starting point is 00:30:22 But if you are opting out in that way, ironically, right, that is making your situation worse. And I liken it to not having a gas gauge in your car, but then just driving to the next state over, right, going on a road trip. It's like, if you don't know how much gas is in your car, you end up stranded at two in the morning on the side of the road in a town you've never heard of with no cell reception. Like, and that's what happened. that's what's happening when you raw dog your spending, and it's just you're spending money on things that you don't really know because you're not checking your money. And so if you're saying you're broke, but you have not checked your bank statements or have not checked your credit card statements, you actually don't know if you're broke.
Starting point is 00:31:01 Yeah. Yep. That's true. That is 100% true. And I think the word broke sometimes is used loosely. It's used loosely. Like to figure that out, that is really where you are because I think it's hard to move forward. Like you said, if you don't know where you're going or how far you can go, it's hard to make a decision. It's hard to come up with solutions.
Starting point is 00:31:24 And so a lot of times we get stuck in this, oh everything is going bad. I don't know what to do next. And it's really because we don't even know where we are. So for many people it may be that, okay yes they are broke. For many people it may be, oh okay I got a little wiggle room. For other people it may be like, oh okay everything actually is good. I'm just not managing it correctly. Like the solution is going to look different for everyone based on where you are starting. But the key is to know where you are starting. You have to know where you are standing. Daisha, you're actually the perfect person to talk about this with.
Starting point is 00:31:57 So something that I've been thinking a lot about over the past couple years is even the way we use the word broke. There's a lot of people, especially, I think us white girls, who will go, oh, I can't go to brunch, I'm so broke, lulz. And for me, there's two problems with that. One is broke is not a fun thing. Like, I think we sometimes use being financially insecure because it's relatable and it's, it's like, it's,
Starting point is 00:32:33 I don't know, it just feels normal. And then we try to normalize it almost in a way that's a joke. And like the internet is satirical. I get it. Like that's a lot of our senses of humor. If you're a millennial or Gen Z, I understand that. But like, it's not cool to not know what's going on with your money. Like that's not cool. That's not relatable. That's not fun. That's not something to aspire to. And I think the second thing that goes on there is that 90% of the people who are going, lulz, I'm so broke, haha, are not actually broke. And it almost
Starting point is 00:33:10 feels like an insult to the people who are actually financially struggling when you're just being directly irresponsible with your money. Yeah. I think this is a, I think one, me and you both are the perfect people to hash this conversation out because I think when people use this so loosely online, it puts me right back in the beginning of why I started the broke black girl in the first place. Like when I first started, I knew that it was going to be hard for people to accept. They were probably not going to like it, which I got a ton. I don't even know if I ever told you about that, but I got a ton of pushback in the beginning
Starting point is 00:33:45 about keeping the word broke, you know, in my name. And it was because people felt like, well, why do you want to say that? No, I said, well, that's the truth. And I didn't want to be relatable. I wanted to be honest. I wanted to be vulnerable. I wanted to be transparent,
Starting point is 00:33:58 because I felt like this is my truth. So when I do see people do exactly, you know, what you said, sometimes I think that it takes away from how serious, you know, that is, I wanted us to have serious tough conversations about money, about being broke, because I don't believe that people that are broke or that are experiencing the things that I experienced should be in the back of the conversations or be ashamed to show up online because they have to go about things a little differently and I think if more people had the mindset that you have with what you just said like, you know, it's not funny It's not funny to be irresponsible
Starting point is 00:34:34 And you know, we we laugh it off and it's like that that's not funny So when we have people that are wanting to show up Online and seek community and seek help because they are actually broke and it's not a joke to them. Sometimes like you said, social media can make it like, you know, a funny thing. And I even had like a whole little field with like girl math for a while in the beginning. It was funny. You know, it was funny in the beginning.
Starting point is 00:34:57 But then it went to like, oh, okay, no, y'all trying to call us stupid. I'm like, it wasn't funny anymore because I'm like, no, girl, man, we actually know what the hell we doing. Like if we're being honest, like we know, you know, what we're doing. And I feel like that's kind of the same. It kind of went to a different space. And I started to feel really differently about it. But I do 100% agree with everything that you're saying, how I feel like social media sometimes can make a joke out of being broke or it can make it seem like being irresponsible with your money is for laughs and giggles. And I feel like it's not. When you are so deeply embedded into why women have the experience
Starting point is 00:35:36 with money like we have today. And I think me and you both, you know, understand the history of it. To me, nothing about that is funny. Nope. No, I mean, I couldn't get credit cards in our own name till 1976. I'm not laughing. That's not funny. I'm not laughing. My mom was born in the early 60s. Like, my mom is older than the ability for me to get a credit card. Like, that's wild. Couldn't get a business loan in our own name until the 80s. This shit is, you're exactly right, it's not funny. And anybody out there, I'm politely calling you out.
Starting point is 00:36:11 If you've been using the like, lulz I'm so broke because it's funny or it's quirky, or you think like it's relatable, it's actually not something to aspire to. Like that attitude is not something to aspire to. Yeah, that is 100% true. And I think the other side of that, that you mentioned as well, is that I think that sometimes social media in the world within itself has,
Starting point is 00:36:33 has made it feel like the only way we can talk about money is in a way where it's like, we can't do it. We're struggling. And it's like, no, we can have conversations that are rooted, you know, in wealth and having money abundance We can have those conversations and feel good about those conversations even be cocky about it. You know, I'm saying right everybody else do it Everybody else does it so I saw the white man Without care we can have those conversations to like Like multiple things can happen at once and I do 100% agree with you and understand. Like I don't like when I see, you know, women do that because I think sometimes it's probably
Starting point is 00:37:13 for laughs and giggles when other times it's probably insecurity. They probably feel like that's the only way that they can talk about money is if they make a joke out of it. And for me I say, you know, screw that. They are, the world already tries to make a joke out of us. You know, anyway, I'm not chiming in, you know, with that, I say, no, screw that. The world already tries to make a joke out of us. Anyway, I'm not chiming in with that. I'm not joining in with that. Yeah. Well, and let it be an opportunity for vulnerability. If this is truly something you can't afford or truly something that you're like, I can't do this, okay, be honest about it. I get we joke in order to cushion cushion the blow or because we're afraid of what other people are going to think. But like this whole society and whole system where
Starting point is 00:37:49 talking about money is so gauche and impolite and frowned on does not change unless we work to change it. And yes, it's in these little moments where you can be that change. You can go actually, you know what, I can't afford this thing, but I would still love to hang out with you. Let's find a way to let's let's find a way to hang out instead. Actually, you know what? I can't afford this thing, but I would still love to hang out with you. Let's find a way to hang out. Let's find a way to hang out instead. Yes. We could talk about this forever. I 100% agree with that because I feel like when I think about the broke black girl, that was my whole thing. And even today people will say like, you know, because your circumstances have changed or you ever going to change your name. And I always say no, because it was never just about me.
Starting point is 00:38:26 Although my circumstances have changed, there is still someone, another broke black girl that is seeking community and space to show up vulnerable, just like I had to back in 2017. So I always say no, I'm never going to change the name. I just feel like it's such a layered conversation because I do want more of us to be comfortable with being vulnerable. Like being vulnerable and coming out and saying like, you know, I'm broke.
Starting point is 00:38:51 Like, and I did all of the combing through everything and it just wasn't making sense. Like I'm broke, I need a safe space to share that. And I also want to share some of the things that I'm going to do to try to fix that, which is what, how the broke black girl, you started it's oh, it's power and vulnerability now Look how to you know if I made a joke of it or kept my mouth closed or only went through it behind closed doors Because I didn't want people to you know judge me or feel any shame. I would have been sitting on
Starting point is 00:39:18 So much impact so it's so much strength and power when we do speak up and say, I am experiencing this. This is, you know what I'm saying, what's happening, having honest and vulnerable conversations. I just think it's so important, especially for women, because nobody else is going to do it for us. So it's like, we have to take lead in those conversations. I mean, same thing with me. Her first 100K was my own 100K. I, I passed a hundred K at this point, right? So I'm not changing the name. It's not her first million. It's not her first whatever.
Starting point is 00:39:49 It's like it's now her meaning the millions of women in the community. Same thing for you. You were the girl. Now the other women are the girls, right? They're all the broke black girls. So I totally get it. I really want to like double tap on everything Daisha and I just talked about. It all feels fun in games to make jokes about money
Starting point is 00:40:08 and being bad with money and lulls I'm so broke, but I'm a huge believer in the idea of the energy you put out is what you get back. And if you're always joking about being bad with money or broke, when you have an opportunity to change that narrative, the only person you're hurting is yourself. You're going to stay stuck.
Starting point is 00:40:25 Nothing's going to change. So when we come back, we're talking about some of the systems Daisha created to help her get out of being broke and how to overcome money trauma once you start getting back on your feet so you don't fall into those old patterns. See you back here. It's a crazy time to be a business owner. We have tariffs and trade policies that are changing all of the time. There's talks of a recession and cash flow feels tighter than ever. And if your business can't adapt in real time, you're going to struggle as a business owner. So you need total visibility. And that total visibility is brought to you by NetSuite by Oracle.
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Starting point is 00:42:38 That's 15% off at masterclass.com slash FF pod. Masterclass.com slash FF pod. off at masterclass.com slash ffpod. masterclass.com slash ffpod. You have a really interesting system that you've talked about called emergency savings tiers. Can you talk me through that? Yes. So I believe in having different tiers because I don't think that every situation is an emergency. And this was something that I had to learn you know the hard way some things or an inconvenience not necessarily an emergency that calls on me pulling out of my emergency fund and I had this really really badly because I would treat everything like an emergency and
Starting point is 00:43:19 when I really had an emergency there was no funds the money you know the money was gone. And so I ended up creating different tiers. And just to go over some of them, the first tier could be something like, oh, you're out, let's say at a concert or something, and now you're realizing parking is cash only. That to me is like level one emergency.
Starting point is 00:43:41 You gotta pay for parking, you don't have any, you know you can't use your cars, can't use no tap to pay. So maybe you got about $20, $50 on you, whatever it may be. To me that's an emergency. Without me having to pull from my level four emergency fund. I level four could be home repairs, core repairs, and I think just creating systems that keep you proactive is so important because for me it was major to eliminate all same-day decisions so by me being proactive and already having a solution for anything that I can think
Starting point is 00:44:16 of it really helped me avoid when a level 4 emergency happened I didn't deplete it because it was multiple level 1 emergencies and I'm just taking money, taking money, taking money. Now the court needs repaired and I don't have it. So now I'm using the credit card. Now I'm in debt and I'm just now thrown into a cycle when had I just created me a system like I have with the different tiers, I could have avoided some of those things. And when it comes to just emergencies, period, I'm just not someone that believes all emergencies are created equal. I just don't think that they, oh, I mean, third things are urgent, but not all
Starting point is 00:44:53 emergencies are created equal. It doesn't mean that we shouldn't prepare for them because they can happen. It's just that all of them should not be coming out of, in my opinion, one fund, because when something major has happened, then we don't have the money. And then, you know, now we're right back at square one. I think something really interesting happens when people do escape the broke mindset. They get out of the day to day and they start realizing, oh shit, maybe I can spend money on myself. But then they either don't do it because they're so afraid of, you know, the other shoe dropping or on the flip side, they're like, cool, I have more money now. So they go blow it all because they haven't established good financial habits and understanding of their money trauma. Can we talk about when you do go from broke to thriving, what the potential pitfalls there are?
Starting point is 00:45:44 to thriving, what the potential pitfalls there are. So for me, this of course, this is lifestyle inflation. We see this happen, you know, a lot. And I think it's a touchy conversation, especially, especially for someone who had to spend a lot of time denying, you know, themselves of things. You can do anything nice for yourself, can buy yourself anything new. This is I struggle with this for a really long time. So it's like once that money started getting good, immediately you want to start getting all of the things we have to say no to.
Starting point is 00:46:12 So that's clothes, shoes, purses, it could be anything. You start wanting to treat yourself. So I want to preface this by saying there's nothing wrong with that. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. And this is where I think one of the most overlooked tools and finance comes into play. We talk about budgets all the time. To me, I consider doing something nice for myself
Starting point is 00:46:34 as an expense. I'm adding that into my budget. So that when I am doing something nice for myself, or I do use my money that I have now worked so hard to get, and I want to give it back to myself, I've use my money that I have now worked so hard to get and I want to give it back to myself, I've already accounted for that. So now I can freely go out and do something nice for myself without thinking, oh is this the light bill money? Or is this from the grocery budget? I've already accounted for those things and there's nothing wrong with wanting to enhance your lifestyle.
Starting point is 00:47:02 I really think that you know we should because again it looks differently for different people. It could be being in a safer neighborhood, having a safer, you know, car, being able to afford, you know, whatever it may be, things that makes your life a little bit easier. There's nothing wrong with wanting to enhance your quality of life, but what normally happens is when we get there, it's like a kid in a candy store. You have to say no all the time, now you in the store without your mama, you can grab whatever and do whatever. So now it just, it comes like,
Starting point is 00:47:34 where it's like we don't forget the big picture. Like we can say yes to some things, we can start treating, doing things for ourselves, like an expense, adding it to our budget, it's something that we pay into every month, even if you don't use it every month. But I definitely think that it is so important. I know a lot of women struggle with it. I even struggle. It was easier for me when things really started to get good for me. It was easier for me to do things for other people than it was ever for me to do for
Starting point is 00:48:02 myself. Because I felt like I'm not one, I'm the oldest child in a black family. And if you know anything about oldest daughters, we end up taking on a lot of responsibility for a lot of people. So I already was used to doing things for other people. So it was easy for me to take care of everyone else before I took care of myself. But one thing that I do want women to know, like you can't pour from an empty cup. So it's like it means nothing if everyone else is taking care of around you You haven't taken care of yourself because eventually that will is gonna run dry
Starting point is 00:48:33 We started this episode talking about how it's so important to have a financial education Especially if you're broke, but especially if you're a person of color and we've talked a lot on the show with Tiffany Aliche, with Rich and Regular, on other episodes about the distrust of banks generally for people, but specifically for the black community. And you shared that you've struggled with this too. Can you talk us through your experience? And for someone who maybe has not had this experience of distrusting banks, what is at play here? With me being 37, the distrust that I had in banks was generational. So it didn't even have to be something that I experienced firsthand.
Starting point is 00:49:18 It was things that my mom and my dad experienced, my grandma experienced, my great grandma experienced, so that the distrust in banks was something that was slowly but surely fed to me as I was growing up, where you would hear people over say things like, oh, I'm not putting my money in the banks, I don't trust the banks, or oh, I'm going to put my money under the mattress, or not saving in a bank, not investing, just holding on to the cash in the house. So constantly growing up and hearing these things over and over so that when I became of age, I wasn't putting, I immediately had already made the decision that I was
Starting point is 00:49:56 not putting my money in the banks because I didn't trust the banks. Didn't know the history of it until I was much older. So when you learn the history of it and you see what happened with like Freeman Savings Banks and you see how black people trusted banks and we put our money in banks and it was not invested and used for our best interest but more so against us, you can understand why even today in 2025,
Starting point is 00:50:19 a lot of people, especially older people still have that mentality of mistrusting banks. My relationship with banks didn't start to improve until I actually worked for a bank. So then you start to understand the inner workings of a bank. You start to understand what's OK, what's not OK, how to advocate for yourself, what questions to ask, how to build a relationship with a bank. But this conversation is usually tough for me because it makes me think of all the opportunities
Starting point is 00:50:50 that my family missed out on because of the history of the black community and banks. Like when I said, my grandma was the first person in our family to ever own a home. So it's multiple generations living in one home because it was because the relationship with we know with banks and then seeing over here in my family say things like all the banks steal your money and just overhearing these things over this fear was just so embedded in me by the time I was older I just felt like it wasn't something that I wanted to do. And again, generational, generational trauma passed down
Starting point is 00:51:27 to us and it came out in by way of our finances. And it was such a hard thing because I think like, okay, my family could have had real estate. My family could have had business loans. Like my dad starting his first business, my dad scraped up money to buy, you know, shaving dishes and utensils and burners to start a catering company,
Starting point is 00:51:47 it could have looked so much different for us if that deep distrust with banks did not exist and those barriers with getting banks and getting loans and black people getting access to those things just wasn't there. And it's a touchy conversation because it's like, the broke black girl probably wouldn't, I probably wouldn't have needed it. It probably would not have needed to exist if decades, decades before me
Starting point is 00:52:15 things would have looked different. So it's touchy because it's like you see so many missed opportunities when you dig through the history of the black community and financial institutions. You see how much we were cut out on, how much we lost, and it answers to present day why a lot of people are still experiencing some of the things that we're experiencing. Yes, there are a lot of tools and resources, but sometimes that damage is so psychological. It's hard. There's no strategy for that.
Starting point is 00:52:48 There's no one, two, three step guide for that. Sometimes it's so deep embedded, it's hard to just come out of it. Well, and it's also the access to banks. You mentioned this right off the top when you were talking about check cashing institutions. There's not a lot of banks, especially in lower income communities. And if there are banks, they often charge overdraft fees, they charge account management fees, right? So it's not surprising that a lot of black folks are either underbanked or unbanked. People color generally.
Starting point is 00:53:25 I think it's the last stat I saw is it's like 40% of Americans, that might be too high, but it was something crazy, are either un or underbanked, meaning that they're either not using the full, you know, banking power available to them that they could need, or that they just don't have a bank account at all. And of course, to your point, it actively damages black and brown people's financial progress potentially by not being in a bank, by not being able to take a loan out
Starting point is 00:53:56 by that general distrust. But it's also not surprising and totally valid when you realize the amount of racism, but also like the banks, a lot of banks do charge you money. And there's a reason why we recommend the ones that we do where they don't have fees and they don't have minimums because a lot of your day-to-day banks that you will go to that you can walk to or drive to, those are the ones that are charging you fees to keep your money there. Yep.
Starting point is 00:54:24 And well, I think a lot of people don't understand that it takes money to have a bank account to take advantage of some of the bank's resources, savings accounts, maintenance fees, entry fees. There are things that cost that a lot of people do not have. So sometimes they find it easier to use different types of non-traditional banking options or that's why I don't question although, you know, I Feel like you know my my grandma she's stuck, you know in her ways, but you know, I love my grandma But I don't question why she feels more safety not having all of her money You know in a bank and another layer to that conversation too,
Starting point is 00:55:06 I had a conversation with my grandma because I no longer live in the same city with her, but I do try to help my grandma as much as I can financially. And I remember saying to my grandma like, hey, you know, it would be easier if I just opened a bank account in our hometown and I just added you to it.
Starting point is 00:55:20 I'll put money in the account every week, you can get whatever you need because that way you don't have to, if you need something, call me. And if I'm unavailable, you can still get it. And I put money in the account every week. You can get whatever you need because that way you don't have to if you need something call me and if I'm unavailable you can still get it. And I remember my grandma saying to me, well no I don't want you to do that because if you do that they're going to cut off my social security benefits because they're going to consider that income. That broke my heart to see like even after all my grandma has experienced and all of the different things she's lived through like still can't even take advantage of the full banking opportunities because then she's gonna be forced to lose out
Starting point is 00:55:55 on other benefits. So it's like when you see the history of our people in banks it just it gives way to why it looks the way that it looks, so that it still looks today because the trust is just not there. And I think that a lot of banks have made strides. Yes, I'll give them that. But I think rebuilding that trust, that's probably going to be a lifelong journey. Yeah, absolutely. And it's again, a reminder of how much of this is either systemic or is the financial systems that exist that have nothing to do with our individual choices. Absolutely. This topic is actually another one we've done a deep dive on. You can check out our first
Starting point is 00:56:38 episode with Tiffany Aliche. That's episode four. We're going all the way back to season one for both of these episode recommendations where we talk about the minority appraisal crisis and more about this just trust in banks that Daisha talks about in this episode. When we come back from a word with our sponsors, we're finishing our conversation talking about how women carry the expectation of taking care of their families, how to navigate that weight and her candid thoughts on the idea of generational wealth. Thank you for listening to the ads that help us make
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Starting point is 00:58:33 I always end up discovering things that they're spending money on that are a complete waste. And I know that because I use Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money shows you all of your expenses in one place, and they'll even try to negotiate lower bills for you. Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million
Starting point is 00:59:00 in canceled subscriptions, with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com slash ffpod today. That's rocketmoney.com slash ffpod rocketmoney.com slash ffpod. So speaking of your grandma, actually, it's a perfect segue. You talked about the weight you feel carrying others around you, specifically family. And I think that's something that so many women resonate with. You started at the top of this episode talking about how women, especially black women, there's so many expectations for you being the foundation and the caregiver and the rock of the family. How have you navigated that weight in the
Starting point is 00:59:54 past and how are you teaching others to carry that differently? So in the past for me, and I'm going to be completely honest and vulnerable, in the past for me, there was no strategy to carrying it. It was all rooted in burnout. It's like, even if I don't have it, even if I can't, I'm just gonna do it because that's what the family requires of me. And that's just what it was.
Starting point is 01:00:17 It was something that me being the oldest, and I always joke and I say that I was my dad's first son, because I don't think he realized, I remember growing up like that, hey, I'm a girl. So there's like certain conversations and certain ways that I wanna be treated. You're being with me a little different. Now I always say that because he positioned me
Starting point is 01:00:38 in a way to take on so many responsibilities. So by the time that I got older, it was just normal. It was what I thought was supposed to happen. So a lot of it was rooted in just, I'm just going to do it because that's what I'm supposed to do. So I wish that I had a strategy to say I navigated it differently in the beginning, but I didn't. That's just what it was for me. But as I got older and I started to realize I needed to have a plan for this one of the things that I do today that I think has been extremely beneficial for me is I am someone who believes in generational support so with generational
Starting point is 01:01:17 support in comparison to generational wealth means like I encourage my family that I'm just one person or even like the matriarchs in our family. They're just one person It has to be an all hands on deck type of thing. So you may not be able to do Something for someone financially, but maybe you can give somebody a ride to work that that's not money exchanging But it's a way that you're helping them build wealth in a way indirectly that takes the financial burden off of someone else. Maybe you can help them revamp their resume. No money is exchanging, but you're still participating and enhancing the quality of their life. Maybe we have someone in the family, single mom, she wants to go back to school.
Starting point is 01:01:59 So maybe we take turns watching the baby. So now she doesn't have to pay for child care or daycare. She can keep that money in the house, spending on formalist, wives, whatever the case may be. But now we are all participating in generational support as a way of building generational wealth and taking some of the burden off of the one individuals. In most cases, it's the matriarch and the family
Starting point is 01:02:21 where she's not having to do every single thing. So my approach to it now looks completely different than it did in the beginning because it's rooted in me making sure that it's all hands on deck, regardless if it's not rooted in the financial part. Yeah, I think a lot of people are talking about it, especially in this moment as like being a good villager, right? Like the village around you. So not just your family, but your neighbors and your friends of like,
Starting point is 01:02:47 I think so many of us have gotten to the point where like, I don't know, asking someone to drive us to the airport feels like the most crazy inconvenience in the entire world. But it's like, this is how you be a good villager. This is how you be a good friend and a good family member. And yeah, it's not financial support, or for whatever reason that makes you uncomfortable, there's a million other ways to offer that kind of support. Yes.
Starting point is 01:03:12 I am really big on that, especially because I have a lot of young cousins. And I look at the things that I would have needed when I was their age, conversations that would have helped me, especially now that I know more about finances at this age than I did back then, I'm always making sure I am doing something, planting a seed somewhere. It doesn't always have to be money, and it doesn't always have to be a ton of labor.
Starting point is 01:03:37 Sometimes it's a text, sometimes it's sharing information, but I do want to be someone, like you said, that is a good villager. I want to give as much, as much as I as I get and I think if all of us had that mindset the village will look you know I'm saying very different and it would fall on the women in the family or the the first college you know graduate or the first person to be financially free. It wouldn't fall on one individual if we all saw value and all the things that we can do,
Starting point is 01:04:06 regardless of what it looks like financially. You believe, as I do, that traditional financial education and advice really does fail women. Can you talk about the common pillars of this advice and what you offer instead? So some of the things that I see a lot, and I know we probably both can't stand this when it's like the, oh, stop buying, when it's like the, oh, stop buying lattes, or, oh, it's like, oh, you're broke
Starting point is 01:04:36 because you're not working hard enough, or, oh, just budget better. When I say like, I feel myself the into the hawk or something. I cringe when I see it because it's so unnecessary. I have no tolerance for it. It's so, it's so unnecessary and it's so outdated. So gendered. Yes. Yes. I think so much of what I do is just rooted in one, everything is gonna look different for everybody. And it's not rooted in perfection. It doesn't have to be rooted in perfection to make progress.
Starting point is 01:05:14 And I think like, there's no, for one, do we see the job market? Do you think I'm gonna work all week and not buy a coffee? Do you think I'm gonna go to work all week and deal with what we as women have to deal with in the workplace? And not get a little treat? No, that's not gonna happen.
Starting point is 01:05:34 That's not gonna happen. And I think what I am so, what I am so conscious of with my platform is just validating our experience with women. I just feel like that just can't take the backseat when we talk about money. And I think that it's just so important to have those conversations that center our real life experiences. I think when we see men, and I'm just going to be honest, talk about finances, especially when they're trying to relate to women. It's almost like it's like always some shit they like seen in a movie.
Starting point is 01:06:07 Like it's so it's like yes, it's like she has a shopping addiction. Don't go to the mall. Yes. And it's what they think women are. Yes. It's never the truth. It's never the reality. So it's so and it's like when we show up online and it's like we're having to fight a fight that shouldn't even exist because it's not real. That is not what happens. It's just not what happens. So for me, I think that is just so important for
Starting point is 01:06:34 me to always keep my experience, my real life experience as a woman in the forefront of all of the financial conversations that we have online. I became a mom when I was 19 years old. So I've been a mother at this point going on 17 years. There's no way I'm ever gonna tell a mom to like cut out certain things. I know, sis, I know why you need that. I know why you are doing that. So I understand why it makes sense to someone else.
Starting point is 01:07:03 It may seem like, oh, you're wasting money. That money could be better spent doing X, Y, Z. When it's like, no, when you consider the whole person, the human that's standing in front of you and all of the factors that are surrounding her, it makes sense why people do certain things, why they need certain things because it may seem like chaos to someone else, but to the other person I feel like it is care. It, you know, it's. It's care for them. So I think for me, what's really different and what I always keep in mind is just my real experience with what it means to be a woman and all of those
Starting point is 01:07:32 factors that usually, for most cases, all the time go unnoticed in the forefront when I'm talking about money. Yeah. And the thing I always come back to, and again, anybody who's listened to the show before or read my book this is this is old news to you, but like The the men don't get the same advice Like men are allowed to have hobbies We're not allowed to have hobbies and my not so conspiracy conspiracy theory is that we're told that in order to keep us broke and sad and
Starting point is 01:08:01 Not living our best lives so that we remain controllable That's it. My final question for you. What is one or two small savings, spending, financial hacks or tricks someone who's feeling stressed from being broke can implement today to start to move them towards a better financial future? Yeah, so I would say for one, if you are someone, because we talked about this a lot, if you are someone that is living paycheck to paycheck, you need to start with one non-negotiable savings bucket. That just, even if it's $5, even if it's a dollar that you have to manually move from one account to the next, pick one goal. It could be groceries, school clothes, or rent cushion. Set it
Starting point is 01:08:45 aside automatically. I always say this is where we focus on giving every dollar a job. Even if that job is to just sit tight and be ready whenever you need it, start there. If you are someone who is climbing out of debt or you're feeling like you are behind, we talk a lot about debt management and debt strategy. Something that I always recommend, something you can do today, is write your debts out by hand. The reason why I say do it by hand, physically writing down the lender, the balance, the interest rate, the payment, it makes it feel real because now you're seeing it in your own handwriting and it gives you back, you know, that control.
Starting point is 01:09:25 So I feel like seeing it in your handwriting is a different kind of accountability. I would say next, if you are someone that is trying to build generational wealth on a low income, I know this is something that comes up a lot. I think let's start with things that are free. You know, think of the generation. If you have children, teach them things that are free. You know, think of the generation. If you have children, teach them what you know, no matter where you are. Talk to them about everything. How you use your secure card. Maybe you only have a secure card with $200 on it. You may not think this a lot. Well, talk to your kids about how that works. What the process of getting there, what they look like. It could be
Starting point is 01:10:01 talking about coupon and talk to them about stinking funds. Like, funds like normalized planning and talking about money not secrecy. I think we need to look at conversation as an inheritance. I really think that that is important like you may not be able to pass down millions of dollars to your children. You may not be able to pass down a huge investment portfolio but conversation is the inheritance for most people. And that is priceless. That is priceless.
Starting point is 01:10:30 I would say my last thing, because this was something that I had to work through a lot. If you were someone that is trying to heal from financial shame, trying to heal from your experience of being broke, give yourself some grace, let's start there. And I am very big on getting my thoughts out of my head. To some people that may look like writing in a money journal, for me, I like using the voice memo app on my phone, so I'll just go to voice memo and I just start ranting.
Starting point is 01:11:00 I just start talking, getting out whatever thoughts it is, whatever it is that's on my mind, I just get it out so that I don't have to sit with them, so that I don't have to sit with them. So definitely find you a safe space and that safe space, it may look like an online community or it may just look like you and your memo app. But start getting out some of those thoughts, that shame, that guilt, start talking yourself through it. I cannot get over financial education as inheritance. I talk about that on the show, but I've never had that language. Oh girl, that's so good. That's so good.
Starting point is 01:11:31 I think that is so important. Sometimes that's all we got to give and that's still valuable. I mean, that's what I got. Even though my parents have not passed away. That's what I got. Like, it's probably the biggest reason I do this show. I have the platform I do is because I was set on a path of good financial education. That's it. Such an impactful episode. So important.
Starting point is 01:11:55 Everybody, I need you to share this with people in your life. Maybe your daughter's struggling right now. Maybe your sister's struggling. Maybe there's a friend who you know texted you the other day and went, lulled I'm so broke. It's time to send this to them. Plug away my friend, you have a brand new book out. Please tell us where we can find it. Yes. So you can find me on social media at The Broke Black Girl across all platforms.
Starting point is 01:12:19 My book came out this March. It's called Moving Beyond Broke, The Power of Perseverance and Personal Finance. You can find it at all places where books are available. I think that you all will love it. I walk you through my personal finance journey from beginning to present day. So you get to see what I was feeling, what I was experiencing, the lessons. And I wrote it in a way that is like an entryway to my life. So my personal experience life, because I wanted to humanize my experience with money and not be filled with a bunch of do this, do that.
Starting point is 01:12:55 I wanted you to see a real person go through these ups and downs and then see me come out on the other side. I love that so much. Uh, it's got the prettiest pink cover as well, so you can find it easily at your bookstore. Thank you for being here. Thank you for your advice and expertise. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 01:13:14 Thank you for having me. Thank you so much to Daisha Kennedy for joining us. You can follow her at the Broke Black Girl on Instagram, and you can also get her book Moving Beyond Broke wherever you get your books. As always, financial feminists, thank you for being here. Thank you for supporting our work. If you are not already subscribed, the vast majority of you listening aren't, and we love when you're decisive. We love when you take action. We love when you sign up for your own financial life and you are committed to educating yourself about money.
Starting point is 01:13:43 So hit that subscribe button wherever you're listening. It also is the easiest way to support what we're doing here. Thank you for your support of Feminist Media. Thank you for sharing and subscribing to the show. We'll see you back here very soon. Bye. Thank you for listening to Financial Feminist, a Her First 100K podcast. For more information about Financial Feminist, Her First 100K, our guests, and episode show notes, visit financialfeministpodcast.com. If you're confused about your personal finances and you're wondering where to start, go to herfirst100k.com slash quiz for a free personalized money plan. Financial Feminist is hosted by me, Tori Dunlap. Produced by Kristen Fields and Tamesha Grant.
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