Financial Feminist - 66. Healing Your Relationship with Your Body with Sadie Lincoln

Episode Date: January 19, 2023

Women are told from a young age to make themselves smaller –– physically, mentally, and emotionally. This leads to playing small in our careers, with our finances, and in so many other ways in our day-to-day lives. These messages usually start in wellness spaces with the often toxic messaging around the New Year that only encourages this continuous pursuit of being “small.” So we sat down with Sadie Lincoln, the founder of Barre3, to talk about getting comfortable taking up space in all aspects of our lives (but especially physically), why she rebuffs the idea that anyone needs a guru, and how she used the same resilience she teaches in class to keep Barre3 alive even when the pandemic threatened to close its doors. Learn more about our guests, read episode transcripts, and so much more at www.financialfeministpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello. Hello, financial feminists. Welcome back. How is 2023 suiting you? For me, that new year, new you energy, I'm just not about it. I'm not doing it. I am doing what feels good for me this year. I'm not like really goal setting. I'm just doing what feels good. I'm moving my body in a way that feels good. I am going on walks. I am reading for fun again. It feels so good. I'm like curling up in bed and turning on like the fireplace YouTube channel. You guys know the one I'm talking about, the like ambient YouTube. It's great. So in the vein of doing what feels good, in the vein of taking up space and really healing our relationship with our bodies, we have an incredible episode today. We are kicking off

the entire new year of the podcast with incredible guests and amazing topics. So we're so excited to slot this in. When we talk about financial feminism, we of course have to talk about money. But my goal with this podcast is not just to give strict financial education. It's to discuss and evaluate and delve into the ways in which women are affected differently by money. So that's why we're not just interviewing financial experts or business coaches or entrepreneurs, but we're also exploring what it means to live a financially feminist life. And like I said before, all of the ways we can start taking up space in order to fight

all of the patriarchal narratives we're constantly up against. So today's episode is about that beauty, taking up space physically, mentally, emotionally, and yes, even financially. We are taught as women to make ourselves smaller. The entire thesis of my book is all about this, right? To shrink in rooms, to make ourselves literally physically smaller with exercise or diets or not speaking up, not advocating for ourselves. And learning to embrace your whole self wherever you're at and learning to take up that space is one of the most important things that we can do as women. To chat more about her journey to create

that space for other women is one of my favorite people on this planet, Sadie Lincoln. Sadie Lincoln is the co-founder and CEO of Bar3, a fitness company focused on teaching people to be balanced in body and empowered from within. I have been doing Bar for seven years, and I promise you this episode is not sponsored, but Lord does it feel like it because Bar3 changed everything about my life, but specifically my relationship with my body and relationship with fitness. So starting in 2008 with the flagship studio in Portland, Oregon, Bar 3 has grown to include more than 170 franchise studios powered by female entrepreneurs, plus an online workout streaming subscriber base in over 140 countries. What started as a workout

has blossomed into a full-blown movement made up of millions of people focused on body positivity, being empowered, and redefining what success in fitness means. Sadie is on ANC's Female Founders 100 list and the MO 100 Impact list, has been featured on NPR's How I Built This, was a great episode, and speaks regularly on the topics of mindful leadership, the power of body wisdom, and the movement to redefine what success in fitness means. Today on the episode, we talk about her journey to entrepreneurship, why she rebuffs the title of guru, as do I, and how she hopes the lessons learned in a bar three class help others lead a more balanced life. I think you'll love this episode.

I loved recording it. Sadie has had such an impact on my life, as has bar three, and I just spent the entire episode asking her all of the questions and talking about all of the things that I've always wanted to chat with her about. So I hope you feel inspired to take up more space in your own journey and let's go ahead and get into it. And now a word from our sponsors. Okay, I gotta gush about Bar 3 for a second. This is not sponsored in any way. I've been doing bar for probably seven years. And I got almost forced to do a class by my boyfriend at the time. And I did not work out at this period because working out was for skinny people and working out was to lose weight. And I knew nothing

beyond like running. And the first time I did bar, honestly, I hated it. I was like, never again. I have never been this sore in my entire life. I woke up the next day. I couldn't walk. I was like, I'm never doing this again. But then I went again and again and again. And then I got to the point where I was going like three, four times a week. I worked at Bar 3 Roosevelt for a period of time. I was running the front desk. The front desk manager is now a member of her first 100K, is now our admin manager here. And Bar absolutely changed my life. So I am so excited to chat with you today. And I thought it would be fun and interesting. I would love to tell you all of the things that I learned about life doing Bar 3. And if you wouldn't mind talking about if that was intentional or if these are the similar things you've heard from other people,

and then we can talk about the entrepreneurship stuff. But I'm just excited to talk to you because I've admired you for so long. So first, maybe give us a context as to before I dive in, why for you was it something that you were drawn to around barre? And it felt so different for me than any other workout I'd ever done. So maybe before I dive in, walk us through how you came to this in this way. Really similar story to you. And I thought I was alone in this, that exercise was a chore, something you did because we weren't good enough right now. And if you do exercise, you can look sexy, attractive, worthy. You can belong. You can be successful. I bought into this manipulation, frankly. And so when I came into exercise with that mentality,

I kind of beat my body up both physically, but also more importantly, emotionally, I had a lot of shame around my body. And that shame was increasing the more I did fitness versus decreasing, which is really confusing. But I was in the industry. I was growing a different company working for them. And I decided to create, I had an aha when I was pregnant to start exercising as a practice of being honest and present in my body as it was in that moment, a practice of compassion and courage. And I let go of the after picture that the ideal I was struggling to reach, which we'll never get there, by the way, it's in the future. It doesn't exist. It's imagined. So that's why we're all set up for failure. And I decided to just scratch my own itch and create a program based on what I needed. And then I met people like you. And I've realized I wasn't alone.

It's pretty cool. I know I was going to cry like six times. I'm going to cry so many times in this episode. I'm just so excited. I think one of the things that I love and I know you've talked about, and we've talked about on the show as well. And one of the things that kept me coming back was this idea that when you come into a class, you are there to be stronger in your body, not to necessarily lose weight. And that we're working out to feel good in our body and to take up space in a society that constantly tells women to minimize. Either physically be as tiny as possible or your personality, your beliefs, your values to shrink them to make other people comfortable. And that's one of the things that I brought into my life outside of the

studio was I can take up space. I can move my body in a way that feels good. I can build strength, not because I want to lose weight or because I want to shrink myself, but because I want to expand and be every part of me and every facet of me. Yes, I love the word expand. A lot of what we do at Bar 3, we combine strength, cardio and mindfulness and we're highly efficient and effective. So the workout does matter. It is, you know, we do want people to see progress, to grow, to expand. And ironically, I agree with you a thousand percent. We have been conditioned to minimize ourselves to get smaller. And that motivation prevents us from achieving results. So I'll give you a very specific example that's embodied.

I, like many women through, I, I didn't like my belly. I started to have a bad relationship with my belly probably when I was around 13 and I learned at 13 years old and I practice every single day sucking in my belly as hard as I could. And I practiced that every day, all the way through high school, all the way through college, all the way through many of my twenties until I got pregnant. Then I was like, oh wait, my belly should expand. We added a hot bar three that we've been conditioned with fitness to suck in the belly and to not let the belly breathe. Like if you look at a kitten breathing, the belly like naturally opens up and then softens down. That's how we all should breathe. And when you breathe that way, when you let your belly totally open up and balloon and like expand, you send oxygen to every cell in your body and you increase

your endurance. You decrease your stress, you're able to lift heavier weights. So by restricting our bellies and trying to be flat and little, we're actually minimizing our fitness experience and our ability to achieve. So just that one insight led us to like different retail. We now use Beyond Yoga, which is soft and stretchy. And we have bigger tops of like flowy tops. So people don't, you know, it's easier psychologically to expand your belly if you don't, if you're self-conscious about it, to wear like looser clothing. Like we really took that one insight and, you know, infuse it into our whole concept. And because of that, people are stronger, they're less stressed, they're more motivated, their endurance is better. The whole experience is better. Yeah. And I find just the way I show up

is I never, I was never the person who craved working out. I was like, I don't want to do this. This sounds awful. And then I got to the point where I craved being sweaty. And I joke, I had never, I was like, who is this person? But it was because I wanted to move my body in a way that felt good. And I think one of the other powerful things I've learned, I literally have a list by my desk here, is beyond, again, in studio and out of just modifying anything that feels good. Any of the instructors in Seattle will tell you I'm like the modification queen. I know every single modification that I need in order to make my body feel good.

And I think because we are told both in fitness and in life that no pain, no gain. And if you're not in pain, that you are not progressing. And that if you are not suffering, that you can't see the results that you want. And again, outside where, you know, existing in my own business, in my relationships, it often felt like, okay, this is the necessary thing in order to better my life. I need to be in this pain or this like unhealthy discomfort to see progress. And of course, that's not true. It's a huge myth. It's a huge myth that the no pain, no gain is, is just the data. When we modify, what we do is we take out negative pain in the joints of the body, like the wrists,

the shoulders, the neck, the low back, the hips, the knees, the ankles, the toes, like the areas of our body. We, I think many clients don't even know that they're struggling in those, those areas. So we take that out and then you get the deep, healthy, you know, can take like the, the burn in the belly of the muscle that's contagious, that makes you feel powerful. And because you are powerful in that moment and modifications, you know, one of my favorite sayings is, and I, this is in a book called rework that I just loved, but they, he, they said copying skips understanding. So when you're in a room with 25 other people and you're copying what everybody else is

doing or what the instructor is doing, you're skipping the most beautiful part of what we get to experience together, which is body wisdom and understanding your body and learning to move in a way that honors you in that moment. And like people like you, Tori, you're such a role model. You're more of an instructor than the instructor is when you modify in class, because it gives everybody else permission to do the same thing. It's probably the thing I'm most proud about in terms of our product that we, if you come to bar three, you're going to see everybody doing their own thing. And we're all like giving each other props for it. And I just really, again, I'm crying again. The most brave moments I think I've had, I've had in studio. And one of them was

like deciding to modify for the first time when no one else was doing it. Like I remember it was like one or two pound weights and I got, my arms got tired and I felt so much shame of like, Tori, you can't, you can't lift this two pound weight. And it's like, first of all, I've been doing it for eight minutes and I'm tired. And second of all, it's like, that's okay. That's okay. And I, I did, I literally coached myself through it of like, okay, no one's watching me even if they are and they're judging me. That's their problem. I'm setting down my weights, I'm doing what feels good. And I remember the liberation of that, of like, oh my god, I can do what feels good, even if it's like, not the quote unquote, right fitness thing to do, or even if everybody else in this room is doing something

different. I can't tell you the amount of times people are doing burpees, and I'm like, I don't want to do burpees. And I do step taps instead. And if you've been to a barre class, they're huge. Step taps are like, look at me, look at me, look at me. They take up so much space when everybody's doing planks on the floor. But that's what I needed to feel good. And again, it taught me so much of like, you need to do what's right for you, even if everybody else is doing something different. And that's success. That's achievement. That's crushing it. You know, think about it in life. When we stand up for ourselves in a meeting, you know, in a moment where you see injustice, or you just want to like, you know, do something that's different than everybody else, but you're honoring your intuition. That's when we win. That's when we grow. That's when we live a full life. And I really do believe

the more we practice that in our bodies, the more we can engage that way out in the real world, you know, as we leave the studio. I'm really, I'm turning this into an ad for bar three, but one last thing. Well, I think that that honest experience and expression is so important when it comes to fitness, because so many of us feel alone in it. There, there are so many people that are shell shocked right now and truly stuck at home. If you're listening to this and you can identify with that, just know the founder of this giant fitness company feels the same exact way. I had a really hard time leaving my home and inserting myself into the routine I had before COVID. And when we hear stories like yours, Tori, it's good to remember

ourselves again. And we remember ourselves by storytelling and sharing and hearing, you know, honest experiences like that. So it's a gift, you know, whether it's bar three or any other exercise, I think, you know, it's inspiring to hear. Well, and I'm telling you this because I want you as an individual, but also just just everybody to know, like, yeah, it's very much changed my life. And it's made me show up in my business different and my relationships different. And I didn't think any sort of workout like again, I kind of am nauseated by people who are like I love the gym and I'm like okay cool like whatever but like in so many ways like it has transformed how I show up for myself and my body and the way I view my body and what I will or not will not

tolerate in relationships like it's so interesting of just like yep I'm here in my worth and like yep we're not we're not going to be in situations that I don't feel worthy. The last thing before we get into your entrepreneurship journey, the other thing that was so powerful for me is learning how to stay present in discomfort. And again, you can tell everybody better than I can. But in a class, there are so many times where you're holding a position or a posture that feels incredibly uncomfortable, not painful, but just uncomfortable. And the amount of times that I have had to coach myself to breathe through that discomfort, to know it's temporary, and to know I'm going to feel so powerful on the other side

has helped with any sort of life event where I've grieved, when I felt uncomfortable, when I didn't want to be here, but I knew on the other side of that was growth and transformation. And I think that's the biggest thing I've learned is that me and PowerLeg does not last forever. It will end at some point and I just have to get through it. at some point and I just have to get through it. That's so beautifully stated. Truly learning to be still and compassionate in discomfort is a gift. The alternative doesn't do any of us good. Ignoring it, brushing it aside, numbing it with something else. If you think about life, when we learn to sit in discomfort and stillness with compassion, and my favorite quote is this too shall pass, this too shall pass. And the good stuff passes too. Like during your favorite part, this too shall pass. It's temporary.

So why not? But it's honest and it's what's happening in the body. And the other thing that happens when you do that in your body, like if you're in power leg, for example, for those of you who haven't done bar three, it's your heels are lifted and you're bending down and it's a deep, exciting burn in your quads. And often the legs start shaking. You go to muscle failure. And when you focus on that sensation, you can't focus anywhere else it's mindfulness you are so present and you are so alive and that's one thing I think I've learned in you know this really hard time is that to be alive in the moment to feel to not be numb to feel the pain to feel the sadness

to feel the discomfort to you know to kind of shake us up again. So we're not kind of like drones walking around, you know, it's truly like a way to build our focus and mindfulness in those moments. And I've talked about and I've alluded to in my, on my Instagram and our podcast before, like I went through a pretty difficult life event at the end of 2020, where I just, I didn't know the way forward. And I think one, I wasn't doing bar as often as I had before because everything was shut down. And I kind of forgot that. I forgot myself in that. And I was so focused on trying to move through grief that I didn't just allow it to settle and to understand like, okay, we're going to be here a while. We're going to be uncomfortable for a while. But to your point, those two shall pass. So all of those things I've learned in my

own life, talking about your story and your journey, what sort of components of your class, of your business do you see as life moments as you've built a company? What have you learned from your own practice of bar three that has benefited your life outside the studio or the business? That's a really great question. I do every 60 minutes, I take a class. I love the full 60 minutes. We also have 45 minutes and online we have 10, 30, lots of different times. It's a practice of kind of rediscovering myself, getting out of comfort into what I call brave space, which is there's like comfort in the middle, which there's a place for comfort, but stepping into brave space,

brave space is where we challenge ourselves, where we're present and alive and alive in the discomfort, but using the discomfort to move forward, to learn, to grow. But right outside of brave space is what I call the fight zone. And that's when you've gone too far. And now it's a fight with your body to the finish line. That's where shame comes in. That's where pain comes in. Because we go past that honest place to a comparing.

I'm not good enough. I need to go harder. I need to go longer. And all of that, those feelings are feelings I'm not good enough. I need to go harder. I know you go longer. And all of that, those feelings are feelings I have as a, as a leader. You know, I know when I go into fight zone, when I start to compare myself to what other CEOs do, or, you know, how hard my company has hit compared to other people's. And I start to, you know, fight with kind of myself over, over the finish line of getting there. But when I step back into brave space, like I do in bar three classes where I'm challenged just enough and I have a growth mindset,

that's where innovation happens. That's where hard choices happen. Like maybe that person needs to leave the organization. It's not a good fit for either of us anymore. That's where I see, oh my gosh, no, I need this new expert around the table. I need to listen more. I'm not the expert. They are, you know, I just, and then modifying like every day is a new day at bar three, especially in this climate, nobody has a normal routine anymore. So we can't count on our normal eight 45 class packed with a wait list. One week it is the next week. It isn't like there is no, There is no routine anymore. So it's really about being agile and modifying and listening to our clients more and meeting her where she is. And all of that, when I step into the studio, I get to practice in my body. And I think it's beautiful no matter

what profession you're in, that you can kind of start to see that metaphor in your body and in your life. Yeah. Well, and you mentioned before, and knowing a bit about your story, it sounds like the comfort, and maybe you weren't comfortable, but the comfort you experienced at the beginning of your career, but to the point where you knew that wasn't brave, maybe, of like, okay, I need to do something different. And probably what prompted bar three in the manifestation as it is now of getting outside of that comfortability into something that feels vulnerable and scary, but also very true to what you want and who you are. Yes, starting bar three was a courageous move. I was so depleted every day in my old career and in my old fitness routines. And I think that's

the easiest indication. The easiest litmus test is after this interaction, after this day, after this workout, am I depleted or do I feel nourished and energized? It's like the easiest question to ask yourself, right? Well, I was consistently depleted, depleted, depleted. I was depleted socially in my job, like connection wise, I was depl depleted, depleted, depleted. I was depleted socially in my job, like connection-wise, I was depleted just values-wise, I was depleted in my body. And so, you know, Chris and I chose, my husband and I are co-founders, to create Bar 3 just to re-energize ourselves based on our values. And once we made that courageous choice to let go of the salaries, you know, sell the house that we had worked

so hard to buy. We lived in the Bay Area. We decided to sell the house and we used that money to start our first studio. We let go of money as the end game. And instead we were like, let's get plenty enough in our bodies, in our lives. Let's find a new definition of abundance and rich and wealth and richness and wealth. And honestly, as soon as we did that, the money came, the clients came, like we are so clear in our purpose. And I think because of that, we were so attractive to so many so quickly that the early days were super easy at part three. It was just like people were just flowing in those doors.

No problemo. And, you know, I think back to that time a lot. And I think it's because I talking about comparison. I'm doing that right now with my own body is my body is not the same. I purposely chose the words not the same because what I was going to say is my body is like worse, right? And it's just, it's different. It's heavier. It's, I'm not as active. I'm fuller in my face. Like things are very different because I don't have the same routine I did. And also, I went through some shit. I went through some shit in the past couple of years. I also travel all the time now for work, which is very exciting. But I can't have my normal bar membership because I'm traveling all the time. So I imagine for you, it's very easy,

like you were talking about, to compare during a global pandemic that affects every part of your business. I would be comparing, oh, those early days were easy. Why is it so hard now? Have you struggled with that as an entrepreneur of doing that comparison of like, everything's really hard now? Yeah. Again, that's so enlightened of you to see that. Yes. I'm also trying to make this episode not be me fangirling. So I'm trying to pull it back to some common thread of like, let's relate it back to the fitness and the things we learned in and outside the studio. Well, you really get it though. You get it. You get the deeper, our psychology of fitness, which it is. It's exciting once you get that bug, because you can just deepen your practice. Oh, and you kind of

connect the psychology of it, which is really exciting. It has been a conscious practice for me to let go of the old bar three, what I,, because it is today so beautiful. It's so beautiful. It's not what it was. Did you grieve that loss? I grieve it. Well, it's like a practice. I go back and forth. We financially forecast all the time. Our numbers aren't where we wanted them to be right now. Our clients are slower to come back than any other industry, any other fitness boutique concept bar three bar. And is it the slowest to come back? Because our core client, frankly, are exhausted women

who are very met exact same thing as you're feeling right now. Like people, I think we're disassociated out of their body. And now we're inviting ourselves back into our bodies. And it's like a different body. And I have to get honest where I'm at. I led myself through a class two days ago. And I can't be in the poses for as long. And it was, again, I'm crying for like the fifth time. But like I have to like so much grace for myself in like, yep, okay,

we're not at five pound weights anymore. We're back to threes or twos. And you know what? That's that is it is what it is. And even my sweet self needs. My, my body today, I get to give my body today what she needs. And this container, this space allows me to do that and acknowledging, you know, I think it's important not to ignore those thoughts and then, but then with compassion, like it kind of goes like this, like, oh, I used to be able to do forward fold at the bar with, without bending my knees. And then it's like, oh yeah, I'm kind of beating myself up with that. Right? Like that's normal. That's what humans do. What do you need right now today? What do you need right now? Cause that's what matters. What do you need? I'm going to bend my knees more. I'm going to lengthen my spine. I'm going to focus

on my breath elongating throughout my spine. That's what I need right now. And then it's just a practice of returning to compassion and presence. And the more we do that, all of a sudden, third class in, legs are extended again, right? The hamstrings have softened. You've opened up. Our bodies keep score. We can, you know, and I think when we shut ourselves down, going backwards in time, comparing ourselves or to our future imagined self, that's when we don't get to experience exercises as we all should have it, which is to be present and alive and honest. And truly that's all we do at bar three is, is that constant, constant reminder to be present and alive in your body in the moment. And the other thing is with the comparison thing, truly nobody's looking at you.

Nobody cares. We're all caring about ourselves. Yeah. And also because we're cuing so much mindfulness, we're cuing so much like, how do you feel right now? Like, you know, body scanning over and over again that nobody has time to look around and care about what anybody else is doing. And you're shoulder to shoulder in a community of people who are at bar three, because we care about community. We care about diversity. We care about body positivity. So you're also so held, you know, and I think we all need that. We heal in community. We do not heal alone in our, in our, you know, these hard times. Oh yeah. The amount of times I've cried in a bar three, I literally can't, can't count. Like I called it my church for a really long time and I'm trying to, trying

to get to the point where I'm going back to church more regularly, both because like, yeah, trying to incorporate it back into my life. And also, I think it's, I wouldn't be surprised again, as someone as a practitioner of it, if there's a resistance to come back, definitely because you're tired and because women are exhausted. And also because you have to get honest about where you're at. you have to get honest about where you're at. And that's one thing that I think has prevented me from going back at the pace I was before is, one, my body can't do the pace before. It is unable to do three to four classes a week at this point. I tried two months ago, my body broke down. And the other thing is, when I go, I have the moment of, well, not where I used to be. And you have to be really, you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable in that. And that's really difficult. It's hard for me. And I'm like the queen of discomfort. So yeah, easing in is important. Again, the fight

zone, like people go from comfort to fight with their body versus comfort to just step outside that comfort zone. So that might mean a 10 minute online workout. We've been fed the story that you have to work out at least 30 minutes. I don't know if you've, I still have to like unlearn that. It's so not true. You can do 10 minutes of an efficient workout and it is proven to perform really well, if not better, if you do multiple 10 minutes throughout the day. Revs your metabolism, energizes you, you get the same benefits. So, you know, I think, you know, for some people it's a time constraint, like just doing

10 minutes at a time to start. For other people, it's just remembering, like walking in the studio, I'm going to modify like crazy today. I'm not going to do anything hard. I'm just going to ease in. And then of course, all of a sudden you're like in a deep sumo squat. Wait, wait, wait, what's going on? Here I go. And you're ready for it. Right. I think we surprise ourselves. And we're also, I don't, I just feel like time is where I don't think we

have as much like room for stress as we used to. Like if I are focused, like if I go and like crush it at a meeting, I'm so much more tired after than I used to be. I was literally thinking that yesterday. I was like, I used to, I quit my job right before the pandemic to run HFK full-time. I quit in 2019. And I was literally, that's so funny you say that. I was thinking yesterday, I was walking in my kitchen and I'm like, I used to sit at a desk for eight hours. Now I hated it, but I would sit there for eight hours. And now I get through an hour meeting. I'm like, I need a nap every single time. I'm like, I'm so tired. I'm so tired. We have to keep pouring into ourselves, pour in, accept that you're tired. Take the little cat nap, drink a giant glass of water. I think taking time for ourselves is so important right now. It's critical to rebuilding our strength.

Well, and what would you say to somebody, probably me, like five or six years ago, that it's like working out as a punishment that doesn't feel like time for myself. That feels like I have to get on the treadmill and run until I collapse, basically. What is your response to that person? It will not be a punishment. I promise. I know this like every cell in my body. If you're working out mindfully, if you're working out with an intention to be honest and present in your body and to generously give yourself what you need, then you will start to anchor exercise to a gift, a true expression of you versus an expression of you trying to do something. It's

an expression of you, of your strength, of your mobility, of your resilience, of your flexibility, of your, you know, it becomes you. And then it's not a chore. It's not something you dread. It's something that is inherently who you are. And that takes practice. It's not something you dread. It's something that is inherently who you are. And that takes practice. It's not something we can do overnight. I'm still practicing it every day, but it really is a gift to figure that out. I'm realizing in our conversation, which I didn't even plan to talk about, but the similarities, it sounds like for you in your role as an entrepreneur, as running Bar 3, but also I think a lot of the struggle we have easing back into life at the end of the pandemic, post-pandemic, I don't know what we

want to call it. I mean, everything's different. In Bar 3, you go from this incredibly thriving business to decimated, seemingly overnight, or at least very, very different kind of business. What is your mindset been? And what sort of hoops have you had to jump through as an entrepreneur from where we were in quote unquote, normal times to the progression through the pandemic to now? We just had our owner summit. We're 100% owned and operated by women. Owned and operated. Which is fucking amazing. It is. And I think that's why we hung on. I mean, every single one of us, we have 170 studios. And a lot of those are open. Some of them are in various stages of development.

studios and a lot of those are open. Some of them are in various stages of development. We all had to close our doors, right? Had external force, close your doors. So together as an organization, we started Zoom classes and all the things you guys are all probably familiar with. What's so beautiful is because these women owned and operated their own businesses, locals supported them and stayed with them enough that we've had very few studio closures compared to the industry. And we've been really proud about that. And we had a lot of adrenaline through COVID because of it. 30% of boutique fitness shut for good. And we were way lower than that. I think we had three closures last year of our fleet. It's really incredible. Which Sadie, that's amazing.

It's really incredible. Which, Sadie, that's amazing. It's amazing. And I would say we are hanging on. At this point, it's harder. And if any of you feel like this too, I think a lot of us, it's like, oh, it's everything turned back on. We're back to quote unquote normal, but it's not. And now we have a hangover. We're tired. And you can't get back to that because we've been through so much. There's no getting back to. Yeah, exactly. It's a full circle conversation. It's it isn't how it used to be.

It is today. And today we're like I was talking to my friend, Jesse Dooley, who owns Burn Cycle locally here in Portland. She's saying, I feel like like I broke my arm and it's like the cast just came off, but it's still really weak and atrophied, but I'm supposed to go crush it and do 20 pushups a day. We're kind of like- Supposed to be a bodybuilder. Yeah. Yeah. We're atrophied right now. And so as a business, we're slowly building our strength again and we're depleted as owners. I'm depleted. We're all, and yet we need to really show up and we need to do the best we can, you know, to offer our clients the best workout we possibly can. And so that's been like a struggle, but it's

also made us stronger as an organization. I am so proud, a hundred percent owned and operated by women, every single one of these women who are bringing it so fully right now on a half tank, you know, and I think a lot of it has to do with our faith and, and the idea of hope because we're crushed that there are so many women that haven't come back to the studio, you know, fighting baby blues at home, you know, depressed in their bodies, shell-shocked, tired, exhausted. And we just want to figure out how to meet them where they are and to get them in our studios. And, you know, I think a lot of it is just trust that that's happening. And it is, I mean, our studio growth is happening. Student classes are

becoming full again, but it's been hard. It's been hard for all of us. I imagine so much grief for what was, what could have been. I have a colleague who ran a coworking space for women, literally was venture-backed, was about to open 10, I think 10 or 15. It's the Riveter, you know, the Riveter, I think they were in Portland, right? Like, like absolutely devastated overnight. Like was just on, just on the exponential crazy train and then just devastated through no fault of, you know, anybody's business. And yeah, just so much, so much grief and loss in that. And I really appreciate though that, that you're honest about that that. And I really appreciate though, that, that you're honest about that, but also framing it in terms of like, where do we go from here?

Absolutely. Like it is, it is what it is. Here we are. You know, it's like when you get, it's like when you get injured, you're, you know, identify as a really athletic person, you get injured and you suddenly can't do your daily trail run anymore. Okay. So what am I going to do? I'm going to focus on a meditation practice. I'm going to build that side of me. Right. And that's what we're doing with business. Like we're really focusing on our digital business. How can we meet her? It's mostly women, but we, we really, really invite anybody, however you identify into our studios, but how do we meet you? Um, where you are throughout all different inflection points in your day, 10 minute online workout. When you're ready, come back to the studio. We've got play lounge starting to open up. If you've got a new baby, bring them, you know, and just being creative

that way and flexible. It's, it's a new challenge. And when we invite, you know, we're really excited and we are seeing just in these two weeks in November, I just got done with my core meeting and people are coming back now. It's starting. Like we are starting to have full classes again. So I think, I think we all are adjusting and the grief period is, is waning and we're starting to rebirth and come back. And I hope that for Riveter, I'll have to reach out to her. I think, you know, woman to woman, owner to owner. Transitioned a lot.

Yeah. It's all about supporting each other in these moments. And again, I'm like relating it back to when I, yeah, when I was grieving the loss in 2020 and I was trying to process that, I realized a couple months ago, you know, I'm not where I want my body to be. There's a lot of injuries that I'm dealing with and a lot of stress and tension. And yet I'm really happy and my mental health is pretty good. And so I realized I was like, okay, we were putting my physical needs on pause because I was just trying to survive. I was just trying to get through every day. And okay, my mental health

now is in a really good spot because I worked for two years on it. And now I can recommit to taking care of my physical body because I have the bandwidth to do that now, or at least I'm busy as fuck, but like more, I can, I can be more conscious of taking care of that part of me that I couldn't when I was just trying to survive mentally. Yeah. Even five deep mindful breaths is a workout. Yeah. Getting up and dancing around to your favorite song for four minutes. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. It all matters. So you were talking about, again, like comfort, the area of discomfort that feels healthy. And then do you call it fight? Like the fight zone?

Fight zone. Yeah. When you're you call it fight like the fight zone? Fight zone. Yeah. When you're fighting with your body to the finish line. Yeah. So again, if we're relating fitness to our lives in our research about you, and again, knowing a little bit about you and your work, you've been kind of labeled by the public as a celebrity fitness guru. And you've talked about how that makes you really uncomfortable. Is that a fight zone thing for you? Good question. Yeah. I really bristle at that. Is it guru? Is it that idea? Yeah. Copying skips understanding. I'm open. I will share my story as you will. You are just as much a part of bar three as I am. I want to hold space for that. That's my job is to hold a container for people to not to let go of that old way of looking up to the, I mean, in the back of the day, it was the supermodel or now it's the like Uber athlete or the influencer who seems to have it

all together. And then we, it's that's aspirational. So we try to do what they do. It doesn't, that just doesn't work. I mean mean it just frankly doesn't work yep I've struggled with this too because you know people have labeled me the finance guru and I'm like I think I'm an educator and I think I have a lot of good things to say and a lot to teach you but if I'm the only person you're following like guru implies some sort of like god-like figure. And I'm like, if you're putting me on a pedestal, I will fall off that pedestal. And then you will be disappointed because I'm a human being and it will happen. And it scared me too, in the same way that I think it makes you uncomfortable. Well, and also you're about empowerment. You're about like woman empowerment with their money.

meant you're about like woman empowerment with their money. I equate guru with giving your power to someone else. Like that's my definition, but, but you know, in the Yogi world, guru isn't really that it's like, it's like teacher, it's a different, but that's, that's my kind of bias is I think of a guru of giving my power to something else. And I think both of us want to help people find their own power and their own strength and, and curiosity and wisdom. And I think both of us want to help people find their own power and their own strength and curiosity and wisdom. And I think that's so much more important than following or copying someone else. Well, and I'd love to talk to you about this. It's the reason I actually don't use the word empower. And I've talked about this on the show before. The definition of the word empower is to give power, right? And I already have power.

You have power. Everybody listening has power. I don't need to give power. I don't need to be given power. I just need to know how to use it or harness it. So that's actually one reason I don't say the words empowering women, even though for all intents and purposes, totally believe it, totally back it. That's what I do.

But I purposely have taken that out of my vocab. Yeah, that's really interesting. So our mission statement is to empower from within. And we added that for that reason. I sit there in power leg uncomfortable, and I read it on the windows every time. And so I'm like, really about you with empowering yourself versus a brand coming out and saying, I'm going to give you power. I'm going to, I'm going to be the one that gives you the, yeah, we had a grand, grand fun debate around the words on that. So I couldn't agree more. And also like we've heard women, women empowerment so much, it's like been co-opted, you know, we start to be,

Oh, capitalism does that beautifully. They co-opt everything. Well, speaking of that, one of the things that I, that we struggle with as a company and I struggle with as an entrepreneur with a growing business where I want to girl boss so hard and I want a big business and I want to be able to change lives and I want to hire people and give people jobs. But also we're participating in a system that actively disenfranchises us even as we try to change it. How have you thought about that? Have you considered it? I'm sure you have, but like, what is that discomfort for you? Well, for one thing, I think that people who challenge the system are really attractive. And like, you know, we, it's like, it's like people who are attracted to your brand are like,

yeah, exactly. That's what I've been thinking, even though it's counter to the norm. Like, thank you. So like, I think it's really important to be clear on the disruption. Like I am redefining what success and fitness means at bar three. If that's, if that's energizing you, this idea that you can do fitness to, to feel an inner power and strength and let go of the ideals and let go of all that, then, then you're going to love me. If you, if you really, if that doesn't excite you, then you're not. And that's okay. Like, I really believe that the only thing that's really going to heal our world is, is, is if we can

figure out how to make, turn business to good. Almost every problem we have in our system and in our world is a business problem. It's a business problem. And I get so excited when I surround myself with really bright, courageous business people who are disrupting whatever their industry is because they're trying to solve a systemic problem. The more of us that do that and make money doing it, there's a possibility for greater wellbeing. And I truly believe that. And so I don't know if anyone's listening to this and they're sort of like a disruptor in their own right and feel alone in it or, oh, but everything else is against me. It's like, no, no, no, no. There are so many people that are going to be attracted to you because of that. Like that's your secret sauce. That's, you know, that's where,

that's where you're strong. I really, and including you. When I've talked about, thank you. I've talked about and had to come to terms because I just wrote a book. It's coming out in December. I'm very excited. And the big thing was like, I don't want to win capitalism because that means that I've probably exploited somebody. But if I lose capitalism, I suffer and my family suffers and my community suffers. my family suffers and my community suffers. And so it's like my job is to survive and thrive in that, but like do my best to just do as good as I can, as much good as I can. And then when I'm taken care of, use my money, use my power, use my strength and my resources to help everybody else around me. But of course, again, back to fitness, we can, and we can relate all of this back is like, you cannot pour from an empty cup. So if

you try to sacrifice your own happiness, your own stability, your own mental health to take care of everybody else, but you're depleted, that's not success. That's not a win if you're being sacrificial. And again, if we relate this back to the women, you know, who we both teach and both talk to, that's what's happening. Because we have had altruism ingrained in us of like, give everybody else your time, your energy, and any time you take for yourself is quote unquote selfish. I would argue that if you're doing that, you're probably not giving them your best energy. You're giving them fumes, right? But interestingly, I just saw Lori Santos talk this weekend.

She's the science of happiness. It is statistically proven that when we are filling ourselves and we're in an abundant place, whether that be energy or resources or money, when we share that, when we give, we become happy. It is shown that the more generous you are, the more happy you are. Even if it's writing someone a gratitude letter, you can writing someone a gratitude letter, you can write someone a gratitude, different people, gratitude letters every single day. And your happiness will increase, increase, increase, increase. You only get fuller and fuller and fuller. So if you can hit strike that balance, it actually starts to fuel you versus deplete you. And I think, you know, I think that's the most important thing for people to

remember is like, take care of you so you can then take care of other people. And then by doing that, you're going to be fueled to take care of you again. It's like a, you know, it's like an ecosystem. Right. Right. And I agree. I think people sense and know when you can't be fully present for them. And that isn't because you're not trying, but because you're tired or because you just can't. And I know that I would rather, yeah, have my friend be taking care of herself, even if it means she can't take care of me as much than have her be a shell of a friend when she does show up for me. That doesn't benefit her at all. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I have so many things I want to ask you.

benefit her at all. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I have so many things I want to ask you. When you thought about growing a business that was so contrary to the marketing and the belief of what fitness could be, what sort of pushback did you get and how has the industry changed and maybe supported that mission more? I like to think they have. Yeah. Well, it's changed a lot. I I've been, we've been around for 14 years. In the beginning, we didn't advertise at all. It was all word of mouth.

And so that was like beautiful because it was like, wow, there's curvy instructors at bar three that are kind of rad and inspiring. And they're really like body positive. And yet I'm getting a really killer challenging workout to your point, like sore, like my body's changing. It's efficient. It's effective. I'm getting cardio strength and mindfulness all in one. So the workout mattered, but they, what, what everybody kind of talked about was the feels like how I feel about this. So that it was like, you know, this great grassroots marketing and good PR in the beginning. As we started to grow, then we had more money for marketing and more need to start marketing. As we started franchising, I did get swept up with like producers and I became kind of a hot thing. It was like,

Ooh, the new bar person, you know? And so I had like producer in LA, I did DVDs for Target and all these things. And they were in my ear about being results oriented, selling based on the body, selling based on, you know, what I considered the very old way, but truly like we won't, we won't sign you unless you do that kind of thing. And so I went down that path for a moment. And what's really interesting is the backlash was my clients, like our digital clients, for example, who, you know, we had in 98 countries, people doing our online workouts and we were on Comcast at the time they wrote in and said, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. You're talking different. Don't, don't tell me what my body should look like. I'm here to be strong and resilient. Please lose the bronzer. Like, why are you wearing makeup?

I liked you the other way. You know, it was like, they, they were so clear on reminding. Which means you've done a beautiful job. Yeah. It was, it was incredible. Well, and I was also like, yeah, thank you for affirming my intuition, which is counter to what LA producers are telling me, right? In what will work. And to be candid, when we do lead with a high result and all these things, we do get more sales.

We do. It's a better hook. But once they're in, when we catch the right person, not doing that, they're fiercely protective of it. And they stay with us longer. So our lifetime value is longer because we're attracting people for the right reasons. And then they're so happy to be here. And probably how successful they feel too, right? Because I imagine you attract a lot of people who do it for, I don't know, a couple

weeks, a couple months maybe, and then they fall off. Right. Yeah. Right. Yeah. We're really investigating how to attract more people, how to hook people and, and in a way that does not ever compromise our values because we want, we want them to get in the door and to experience this, this cool thing that we're doing. We've, I've struggled with that as an entrepreneur as well. We had to cut our highest paying client because I don't think they, we didn't think they were treating our customers well. And that was a massive revenue loss. Like 60% of our revenue went overnight. Wow. Courageous.

But it was so necessary because the trust of our community, you cannot buy trust. You cannot, you very rarely can earn trust back once you lose it. And so for us, it was like, we need to do right by our people and I'll figure it out. And we did, we figured it out, but it was really scary. That's such a great example of upholding a core value. How we define core values at Bar 3 is, they really are like what unify us and what guide all of our business decisions is, are we willing to take a financial hit to uphold this core value? Because we believe in it so much. That's one of our questions with a core value when we're figuring this out. And that's a perfect example. And I'm sure because

of that, you strengthen your culture and your foundation and will be so much more attractive because of it. Yeah. But it was super hard. It was so hard because you're also, you're also weighing like, okay, but I have to protect my people, my, my, my team members, you know, I have to protect them and make sure we can keep the lights on. And, and so that's, that's the balance too of like, okay, if I, you know, if I, if I cut off this client, the random consumer doesn't know what what's going on behind the scenes. Our team knows our team now is feeling the stress of that. I'm feeling the stress of that. It was a hundred percent the right decision, but yeah, a really tricky one to

make. Yeah. Well, good for you. Hey, thanks. You're better for it. I think so. What do you hope the legacy of bar three is? I think that we are in it for the long game, that we're a sustainable model of health and wellbeing. And that, you know, I think every company with purpose just has a little like corner of the universe that they're trying to make better. And my, in my little corner of the universe, I hope that because of Bar 3, we were a catalyst to people redefining success and fitness and their relationship with it in a way that moves them forward. We're all high performers that they also see the results, but in a really meaningful way that comes from a motivation inside versus outside. That is our legacy today. Speaking of

legacy, I think of the future. But today, I think that's what most people would say about bar three so far. I think we'll just keep that going. Well, I think one of the ways that you and I connected was that I had said, I think I had tagged bar three in a photo. I've never been a flexible person. And for the first time, I had touched my toes without bending my legs. And you can see in the video I posted, I, again, I'm like getting tears. Like I was so excited and that felt like the biggest win for me. But it was like so minor to anybody else, you know? I think your producer or someone sent me that message when you were inviting me onto the show.

And I mean, I have seen hundreds, thousands of videos. I remember that video because your delight, your delight in touching your toes. We, I remember my team and I were like giggling about it and we were just like, this is it. This is bar three in a nutshell, like delighting in our bodies, delighting and also playful again. And, and like those, those milestones are real. Like we do care about results at bar three. It's great like those, those milestones are real. Like we do care about results at bar three. It's great to be able to touch your toes, right? It's great to rock the

one minute plank when you could only do 30 seconds before we want to move people forward and we want to, but I think we celebrate it in such a, and that was such an example of celebrating it in such an authentic, wonderful way. We, yeah, we love that. And I, I, it was a little scary posting that video too. And it was so touching to, cause I think you reached out to me as well. And I think you guys, cause Mary told me, Mary who runs the, the Seattle studios had told me, I think you guys played it like at your, like a team retreat or something, or you're like, I'm sure I did. It was something which was so touching, but like you can see I have a visible stomach. I think I played that at our owner summit. I think I did. I played it. All of our owners, Mary Lytle is one of our owners in Seattle. I love her. Yeah,

we played that. Yeah. You're just like, just like that, that video. It's like, and I think so many of our clients, it's like, Oh, I want to have a glass of wine with her. She could be my friend. She's, she's me, you know? Yeah. And yeah, it was a visible, yeah, I had a visible stomach, you know, and I, I still do, still do. As we do, as we do. Yeah. And I, I often show up to bar three. That was actually, again, part of my fitness journey is I remember once walking out the door to go to class. This was like five or six years ago. And I had gone two days without shaving my armpits. And I went back in the house to shave my armpits because I was like, oh, no one can see me that

with that. Two years ago when I was going to class all the time back in 2019, I did like no shave October, November and December and I showed up and I did not care and it was like full armpit hair and like that was my own progression of my body and my relationship to it and knowing that I felt safe enough to show up in class and no one was going to say anything weird and no one was going to demand that I look a certain way and that was so freeing for again, in my journey of like loving myself and loving who what my body is and what my body shows up as. So I love that my daughter's 18. And you know, all the kids are doing that. Cool kids. Yeah, shaving the armpits. Yeah, which I love.

It's so it's so embodied, so confident, so cool. What for you has been your biggest success as a business owner and what's been your biggest challenge and what have you learned from both? My biggest success as a business owner has been learning where I serve the organization and really focusing on that, like putting all my eggs in that basket for myself and managing my energy around those things. And then being honest about where I don't serve the organization well, where I fall, where it's just not me and finding people who can fill those roles, people who can fill those roles, but not just any people. Demanding the highest level I can of people and giving myself, knowing that Bar 3 is so valuable that we deserve to have people around the table who I look up to, who I need, who are my teachers, who can help us

take Bar 3 to this next generation of growth and, and sustainability in the business world. And that journey for me has been so amazing, so enriching and like really extends into the rest of my life because it's really a journey of honoring my core values and where I'm strong and then showing up that way versus trying to be something I'm not as the CEO and founder. So, and it serves the whole organization. I mean, just related to that, I wish I did that sooner. I wish I knew to do that sooner. I wish I knew to always hire people because bar three needed those people versus hiring

people because I was endeared to them or they were endeared to me, which is an ego thing, you know? versus hiring people because I was endeared to them or they were endeared to me, which is an ego thing. But I also don't think I could have got to this place if I didn't learn that along the way. And I think that's the hero's journey. It's the entrepreneur journey. We live and we learn and you fail and you pick yourself back up and you fail and you pick yourself back up. Yeah. If anybody listening is thinking, again, not where I was, both physically, emotionally, mentally, like you and I have talked about, we're not where we were in 2019, early 2020. What words of wisdom or what kind thing would you say to them? Thank goodness you aren't where you are. Because you are where you are.

aren't where you are because you are where you are. We can't, the before is our imagination and so is the after. Looking back does not exist. That's not real anymore. It's a memory, but it's not real. And pretending forward also is imagined. This right now is you and me and our life right now is what matters. And being honest and alive in this moment and grateful for this moment is what is going to give us that feeling of abundance to right foot, left foot, breathe, right foot, left foot, breathe, and to really fully live into ourselves every waking moment. Thank you for being here. Thank you for your work. You and what you have built have changed my life utterly and completely. She has not paid me to say this, but if you have not experienced a bar three class, and I would recommend going to more than one because again, my first one, I was like, oh, this is hard. Never again.

And I would recommend going to more than one because again, my first one, I was like, oh, this is hard. Never again. Absolutely. Or it'll feel easy. It'll feel too easy at first too. It's either too easy or too hard. Yeah.

But later on it hits. Yeah. Yeah. Please go to a class, experience it. And my favorite, and we haven't really talked about this, but my favorite part about class is that every place, regardless of where you go, I think this is why I call it church because I grew up Catholic. And so it's like no matter if I go to a bar studio in New York or Portland or somewhere else, we always end in breath. And that is my favorite part is you get to breathe typically for the first time all day, maybe all week as you get to sit there and breathe. And that is as important, I would argue, probably more important than

anything you just did physically. And it's my favorite part of class. So yeah, if you haven't experienced a bar three class, please do. Sadie, thank you. Where can people find you? I'm on Instagram, Sadie Lincoln. I love connecting there. And then same thing with bar three on all the platforms, all the platforms, barre3-R-R-E three.com. And then, you know, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, we're all over the place now. Amazing. Yeah. Thank you.

Thank you again. You're so welcome. Thank you for having me. This has been delightful. Huge thanks to Sadie for joining us and sharing a little piece of her journey. We'll link everything in our show notes page if you're interested in following her or learning more about bar three. And if you're in Seattle, I will see you at a Bar 3 class at some

point. And if you enjoyed this episode, please make sure to leave us a review. Subscribe to the show so you don't miss a single interview. And if you're wondering where to get started in your financial journey, you can go to herfirst100k.com slash start for some step-by-step resources and links to our book and other podcast episodes. Thanks for being here, Financial Feminists. We'll catch you soon. Thank you for listening to Financial Feminists. We'll catch you soon. Thank you for listening to Financial Feminist, a Her First 100K podcast. Financial Feminist is hosted by me, Tori Dunlap,

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