Financial Feminist - The Financial Advice You Wish You'd Taken Sooner with Credit Karma

Episode Date: October 23, 2025

Ever wish you could go back and give your younger self some honest, no-nonsense financial advice? In this episode, we’re talking about the money lessons we all wish we’d learned sooner. Today I’m joined by Courtney Alev, Credit Karma’s Consumer Financial Advocate. Courtney helps shape Credit Karma’s products with real people in mind—empowering millions to know, grow, and protect their wealth. Her insights have been featured in everything from The New York Times to Marie Claire, and she’s basically your financial big sister: here to make money feel less overwhelming and help you build confidence with every dollar. Together, we’re diving into credit, debt, savings, and how to make smarter financial decisions that give you more freedom and less stress. Thanks to Credit Karma for sponsoring this episode! Get personalized, judgment-free insights on how to pay off debt and make your money work harder for you with Intuit Credit Karma! Visit: https://www.creditkarma.com/lp/financialfeminist  Visit herfirst100k.com/ffpod to stay up to date and find any resources mentioned on our show! 00:00 – Intro: The Money Advice I Wish I Took Sooner — with Credit Karma’s Courtney Alev01:10 – Why Money = Freedom02:05 – How to Define What You Actually Want (Not What You “Should” Want)03:10 – Credit 101: Building Credit in Your 20s04:00 – Easy Credit Score Tips That Actually Work05:30 – Tori’s Favorite Credit Utilization Trick06:30 – Should You Keep Old Credit Cards Open? (Yes—Here’s Why)07:15 – Why Credit Cards Are Tools—Not Traps08:00 – How to Pay Off Debt and Improve Your Credit Score09:15 – The Great Debate: Save First or Pay Off Debt First?10:45 – Why Women Need an F-Off Fund12:00 – Money ≠ Math: Why It’s Really About Emotions13:20 – Letting Go of Shame Around Debt & Spending15:00 – Why Avoiding Your Money Makes It Scarier16:30 – Are High-Yield Savings Accounts Still Worth It?17:20 – High-Yield vs. Regular Savings: What’s the Difference?18:40 – Mindful Spending 101: Stop the Doom-Spending Cycle20:15 – How to Curb Impulse Shopping Habits22:00 – Ask Yourself: “Why Do I Want This?” Before You Buy23:10 – The “Would I Move This?” Trick for Spending Less on Stuff24:10 – Boundaries, FOMO, and Saying No to Overspending26:30 – How to Handle the Cost of Weddings and Friend Events29:30 – Budgeting with Irregular Income (Freelancers, Creators, etc.)31:20 – Understanding & Paying Off Student Loans34:00 – Credit Card Debt vs. Student Loans: What to Tackle First35:20 – Saving for Retirement While Paying Off Debt36:15 – The Power of Compound Interest (Explained Simply)37:30 – How to Start Investing — Even with $20 a Month38:00 – Final Thoughts + Where to Find Credit Karma’s Free Tools Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi, financial feminists. I sat down for a live conversation with Credit Karma to talk about all things I wish I learned about money sooner and to answer your biggest questions about credit cards, debt, credit scores, and more. So special thanks to Credit Karma for sponsoring this episode. I have used and loved them for almost a decade, and they're a fantastic resource for you all too. Head to her first hundredk.com slash FFOD to get personalized, judgment-free insights on how to pay off debt and make your money work harder for you from Credit Karma. And we've got the link over there. Let's get into it. Hi, Financial Feminists. Welcome. I'm so excited to have you all. I am Tori. I've helped over 5 million women be better with money. And today we are live in the heart of New York City to talk with Courtney Love, consumer advocate at Intuit Credit Karma. We're talking all things, money advice you wish you would take in sooner, credit, debt, savings, and more. So my first question for you, if someone took your lessons to heart, how could their life change? they would have more freedom, freedom to be able to leave a bad situation, a toxic relationship,

a toxic job, opportunities to be able to do more things that bring you joy, whatever that might be, and less stress, freedom from worrying about money every single day. And instead of seeing it as a tool that can really be applied to help you achieve your goals. And so that's my goal for what we're talking about today. It's my exact same goal too, so I love it. You mentioned a bit of this off, Mike, but tell me who you are and why this work is so important. to you. Yeah, I am a consumer financial advocate at Credit Karma. So I get to spend my day trying to figure out how to build products that millions and millions of people use every single

day to really make progress in their financial life. And progress is so personal. It's whatever, that day, that week, that month that they need. And so I am so inspired by the work that you do, Tori, and I'm out there just really helping women, especially come together to figure out how we can help each other make progress. When it's often a topic that isn't talked about, it's taboo. It's kind of under the radar and bringing that conversation in the forefront is what keeps me going every day. One of the things you mentioned that I talk about a lot in my work is that personal finance is very personal, yet there are like these certain metrics or these things we all want to do when it comes to finances. So my first, you know, dive and write in question is how do we

determine the things that we actually want and our priorities for us versus just what we should want or what we should aspire to? It's such a great question, one that I personally, personally I've wrestled with probably for many years in my life. But it really, to me, comes down to values. I think there's having your basic needs met, and that's going to look differently for different folks. But, you know, whether that's housing, whether that's safe transportation, whether that's, you know, comfort for your family, those are kind of table stakes. But then past that, it becomes like, how do I want to be spending my time? What gives me the feeling of a fulfilled life? And that's looks so different to everyone. And that's both the

beautiful thing about it, but also the hardest thing about it because everyone's path is going look a little bit different. But that's why it's so important to be having those conversations and taking that time to reflect on what you want. Yeah. Let's talk about credit because I joke it's like your adulting GPA. So true. I'm like, how well are we doing? And I think it's so, it's one of many topics in personal finance that is so jargon heavy and seems like, I don't know, I'll try this and see what happens to my credit score and only after the impact, do you realize if that worked or not? So can you walk us through specifically if somebody's in their 20s? Like how do they think about building credit? Totally. I love the idea of your adult GPA or financial GPA because

he's like, what are these numbers? What do they mean? Why is it going up or down? And it can feel very confusing, but I think especially for folks in their 20s and getting started, it's just recognizing that credit, while it might be a little confusing or intimidating at first, is so important to really, really understand because it's going to be that kind of backbone of your financial life. I remember when I was in my 20s, I was constantly surprised at how many things required a credit score, you know, getting a cell phone bill, like running an apartment. Yeah. And so getting that off to a good start is so important. And the number one thing you can do is if you have a credit card or other credit alone, make sure you are making those payments on time. That is the foundation

which everything is based off of. Yeah. I always think about like on time and in full if you can. Exactly. Talk to me about some of the hacks for boosting your credit score. Like I have my secret hack and I'm sure you're going to say it. But like what are the easier ways that we can build the credit in addition to, okay, on time and full payments. Totally. I love the on time and in full kind of number one goal. There's a lot of different hacks. There's a lot of information out there. I think it can become very overwhelming and complicated when you start diving in. The couple of things that I would really recommend, I think like getting a credit card and using it responsibly, that sounds very simple, but it's so important. One thing I love to encourage folks

to do, especially or maybe newer to credit and maybe they're intimidated of, I have, you know, access to money, like, I don't want to go into debt, I'm scared, is to just get that first card, put like one recurring thing on it, right? Put your Netflix on it, put your Spotify, whatever your stream, whatever your tiny subscription of choices, and set it on auto pay. And then, you know, 12 months goes by, you've spent maybe $100 on that card. It's paid off in full. You have that year of, of credit history. The other one that I think is really important, especially for newer to credit folks, if you're like me, my first credit card had a $500 limit. That was me. That was mine. Right? My little Discover card with like a, it had like a, like a record on it. Does I know what I'm talking about? Like, I thought I was so cool. Yeah. I had a Wells Fargo one that had my picture, but this was many years ago. I'm not going to date myself completely, but it was so pixelated. It was just like kind of random face. Oh, it's like on a Costco card or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Your Costco membership. But I felt like it's personalized to me. But that was a big one because I had to, you know, buy one thing. All of a sudden, my credit utilization was super up. That's when you're using most of your credit that's available to you. And that can hit.

hit your credit. So the other hack that I really employed, especially in those early days, was paying off my credit card every five days, every seven days. It was only due every month. So there's a lot of little things like that that you can start tweaking. But I love to hear your number one hack. No, all of those are really smart. Mine is the credit utilization. So like you said, it's how much credit are you utilizing? So if you have a credit card with a line that's $10,000, and you spend $3,000, you're using 30%. If you can get it under 30% or really under like 10%, we've seen crazy increases in our community. I've seen personal increases of just you ask for a credit line increase and then you don't use it. So you go to your credit card company and they all want

you to spend more money. And so you go, hi, can I have a $15,000 or $15,000 credit line? And of course they'll be like, yes, because we want you to spend more money with us. And then you just don't use it. And suddenly that utilization rate is way lower, even though you're doing your normal spending. Exactly. Another one that I learned too late in my 20s was that if you have a card and you're not using it anymore. Maybe, I think this has gotten a little bit easier, but I used to go into the mall. I'm like, hey, do you want 20% off your whatever old store? You know, like, sure, I'll open up a credit card. And then you stop using it, you close it. But like that credit limit that you might have on those cards was actually contributing towards that credit. That credit length of

history. Yeah. So obviously, we never want anyone including myself to keep a card open if you're tempted by it or like not going to use it responsibly. But it's something to be actually really thoughtful of and that's something that no, I wish someone had told me earlier. Yeah. I mean, I'm a big proponent of credit cards. If anybody follows me, if everybody's listening, they know, like, I love credit cards. But I think it's a tool. Like, it's a knife. Knife can make you dinner, and they can also send you the hospital.

It's like, if misused, it will not work well for you. And it's the same thing with credit cards. If you do not feel like you can manage them responsibly, they might not be the tool for you. However, if you use them correctly, not only are you going to get free stuff with points and miles, but you also get so much protection that you might not have with a debit card. And I think that's my favorite part is like my phone got stolen a couple years ago when I was in London. And I got a free phone because like I had cell phone insurance with my credit card. So there's so much there. Exactly. I think back to maybe my mid-20s and getting that credit card sign-up bonus and getting an international flight for free.

Yeah. Taxes and fees, baby. And how my willing that was. And so it's awesome seeing people taking advantage of that. Yeah, the first time I turned left on a plane, you know, when you turn like business class. And it was, it was taxes and fees. It was so nice. It was like a $14,000. ticket and I got it for a couple hundred dollars. Did you stare to the right and think maybe if you all worked a little harder? I was like, maybe if you didn't follow her first under K, you're turning to there you go. You should have that on the little curtain that they closed. Oh, that's so funny. Your Instagram handle. I just have it tattooed on my forehead. Talk to me about the best strategies for paying down debt while improving your credit. Like, can we do both at the same time? You absolutely can and they're so tied together. Yeah. The first thing you want to do, and I have had so many friends over the

years, both just in my personal life and then also knowing what I do for work. I've been like, I have a lot of debt, but I don't want to know. I'm going to look like I'm going to be an ostrich. And so it's really hard to do anything unless you know where you stand. So if you're trying to either improve your credit or pay down debt, like figure out what you owe, right? That's the number one thing that you want to do. And then figuring out how much you can throw towards that debt, like you mentioned, making sure that you're always paying your bill on time. Ideally in full, but if you're carrying in debt, you're probably not. And then looking at your budget, to be like, what's the most amount of money I can throw towards this, making sure to focus

on that higher interest debt, like a credit card over a student loan, depending on your specific financial situation. And you should start to see as you're paying down that balance, that utilization that we're just talking about going down, which is going to then increase your credit score. So it's a very exciting cycle once you can hop on it. Or like, you're both seeing your debt numbers go down and your credit score numbers go up. So. Yeah, that's super helpful. One of the biggest questions I get, that is a little controversial. I'm ready. Controversial. It's going to be so spicy, everybody. Should you save first or pay off debt first? That's the crazy question. And I have a very, I'm personal finances personal and then I have a huge, a few hard and fast rules. So should we save first or pay off debt? I love the question. I have gone to spicy debates about exactly this several times in my life. I love that this counts as spicy for us like financial nerds. We're like, oh, how many hours do you have? Let's debate it. Don't get me started on avalanche versus snowball. You go back to that. So save first or pay out debt. So I am personally.

a proponent of paying down your debt first. But there is... Oh, but wait for it. There's a caveat. It's not what I thought you were going to say. We're literally going to have to debate this the rest of me. Okay, great. No, it's...

The great thing about personal finance being personal is that there's no one way past. So to caveat my response, I would always recommend that people save a little bit of a cash cushion, even with debt. It's helpful both for like a mental and emotional wind. Like, I have $500 in the bank. I have $1,000 to make. It is so exciting when you save not just your first $100K, but maybe your first 1K, right? And so I think that's really important. But one trap I see people fall into all the time

is they have that emotional attachment to the $5,000 in their savings, but they're carrying $10,000 in their credit cards and they're paying 20% interest. Yeah. And they're actually like losing so much money, but they're so proud and so tied to that $5,000, which I understand it's like an emotional commitment. But those are the situations where I really like to explore with people like, hey, maybe we could put some more of that towards that debt. Yeah. My spicy take is really specific to high interest debt and like holding cash, but it gets obviously more complicated when you're looking at things like a mortgage or stay home and something like

that. And when we're talking about high interest debt, it's usually credit cards, right? We're looking at 18, 20, 30 percent interest as opposed to a mortgage, which, as of this recording, is about 7-ish percent. So, I mean, I am savings first for a couple reasons. One is that, like, if an emergency happens, I need you to have something in the bank so you're not going into debt trying to pay for an emergency. The second thing is, like, speaking of, like, the mental health, like, I think going to bed at night knowing you have something in

savings that if you got laid off or if something happened tomorrow morning, like a shit completely hit the fan, you're going to be okay. Yeah. And then the third thing, because, you know, we coach primarily women, like, I need you to have an F off fund. Like, I need you to have enough money that if you get sexually harassed at work, if you realize, actually, I don't want to live with this partner anymore. It's like, I've had friends who move into an apartment and they're like, this is not a safe place to live. Like, I need you to have enough money to get out. But I also think there is that tension between, I know I need savings, but also this debt's

eating away. And it's hard. It's hard to navigate both of those. Totally. And I love that, just that concept of that emotional fail save, right? Like, I want everybody, especially women, to have that F off fund and be comfortable with it. I do think it's a really interesting example of, like, just how dynamic and emotional money is.

Like, I love this topic for exactly that reason. It is, everyone's going to have a different perspective. I completely agree that like having that emergency fund, that savings to feel escape is important. But I do challenge people when it's like, I have $12,000 in cash and I have $12,000 in the credit card. Like, let's talk about what that balance is. And like, is that the right amount of money to be paying an interest? But again, it's different for everybody. Yeah. Can I do an audience Q&A really quick where you like raise your hand for me? Do you believe that you have to be good at math to be good with money? Everybody's shaking their head. I'm shocked.

that's the common thing we hear a lot is like money is about numbers and especially for women it's like it's about being good at math or being good at numbers or like being good at spreadsheets and like I lo getting freaky in the spreadsheets but like I majored in theater and communications in college like it is such an emotional thing and I think that's why women are better with money when we actually learn to manage it sure and I think there's so much focus on yeah what is the numbers what is the compound interest and I'm like no everything's an emotional choice Yes. Like, whether it's, yeah, taking on debt and feeling the shame around debt or, yeah, I'm going to Taylor Swift and I'm spending this money. I feel so excited. Called out me. Yeah, truly. I was there too. I was there when she announced 1989, Taylor's version. That was a big day.

You would. It's like it's so emotional. And I think that we forget that often because we get caught up in the numbers. So can we talk about, we're talking about debt and we're talking about credit. There's so much shame and guilt attached with both of those. How do we work through those emotions and a product? way, as opposed to feeling bad every time we go spend money even on things we love. I think the first thing is just recognizing that we're not alone. It's such an individual journey. I know I felt plenty of shame, whether it's finances or other ways in my life. And then you look up and you look around, you're like, I am not alone. Other people are going through this.

And just seeing what you're doing with your community and just having people look around and say, like, we can talk about these things. Like, we can actually connect and understand what's going on and realize that we're in it together, even though we're on our own individual personal financial paths, is really interesting. And one of the trends that's come up recently in the personal finance space, you know, we hear about things like doom spending, which I just think is like one of the funniest and most relatable things. Recession indicator. Exactly. But like of course we want a little treat, right? Like you look at the time, it feels like everything's on fire. Like I need that macho latte.

Like get off my back. But I think like just figuring out how to be mindful and also just taking those moments to reflect on, you know, is this something that really is going to make me feel better or is just something that in that moment I am enjoying but might regret later? So bringing up that mindfulness, as cheesy as it sounds, like has such an important role to play in our financial journeys. I always say that nothing tastes worse than a Pena Colotta on the beach with a side of guilt. And it's like, if you're going to spend money on something that you really love, I want you to never feel guilty about that. And I think so many people, ostrich, which is the same term I use, which is like, bury their head in the sand, act like their problems don't exist. And, you know, the word budget, right, gets a kind of, it's like a dirty word. It's like, I don't want to be restricted. And I'm like, no, your budget is your gas gauge in your car. So you know how far you can drive, right? And so many people just start driving around without going on. And then they end up broken down on the side of the road at 2 a.m. without cell service. And like, that's what happens when you don't look at your money. And so I want your spending to be something that feels so good the entire time.

not, oh, I got my credit card bill back and I can't actually afford it. Because then that beautiful experience, whatever you spent your money on, is now tainted. Yes. And a couple of my ostrich friends, who I refer to with love, the anticipation is way worse than the reality of actually coming to terms the money. Totally. So sitting around, I know what it's like. I know it's like, I just got to send that one email before I go to bed. And three hours later, I still haven't sent the email. And then the email takes two minutes to send. You're like, why did I just send it? Right. Like, you know, that first step of anything that you're progressing on, especially something that feels so hard and emotional is the hardest part. Like everyone, even people I know I had six figures of debt, it's very scary.

There's an empowerment to know this is where I stand and where I have a starting point instead of feeling like it's something that's happening to you, like out in the ether. Yeah. It's like a horror movie. It is worse when you don't know what the monster looks like. Yes. Because then you dream the worst, scariest thing in your head, as opposed to, this is it. I'll figure it out. I'll manage it. Exactly. As opposed to, yeah, what's, under your bed or in your closet. Okay, I talk about high-yield savings accounts all the time. I love it.

I love them. They're my favorite. Again, speaking of a tattoo on my forehead. Interest rates are going down, though. Yeah. Are high-yield savings accounts still worth it? Absolutely. Thank you.

I think so too. Did I pass? Dess? I absolutely agree. High-yield savings accounts are such a wonderful tool, and I'm always surprised, but also excited for the opportunity when I find out someone doesn't have one. Yeah. This is a time to make a really important.

important stuff. Even if interest rates are lower than they might have been X number of months or years ago, that is still passive income or interest that you're earning on your money. And you're still building that savings, which we just talked about, is so important. Especially for women, you're still building that in a place where you can easily access it and it's insured. And that is the best place to be keeping that emergency fund or that F off fund or we're going to call it for yourself. And so regardless of the interest rate, open one if you don't have one. And then also remember that interest rates, if you look over history, they go up and down, right? So you're going to see those fluctuates and it's better to be building that savings habit now, regardless of what your interest rate is.

For somebody who might not know, what is the difference between a high yield savings account and like your normal savings account? A high yield savings account has much higher interest than your normal savings account. Sometimes to a shocking degree, you know, 10x, 20x, depending on the day. And you can often find them offered through online banks that don't have a physical presence that enables them to, to give you that higher interest rate by using lower cost. But a lot of people find that that's fine. You might not need to actually go into a bank branch. But generally, they're easy to open. You can open with like one, maybe not one click, but a couple of clicks. I'm sure you have some recommendations. We do on our website. Yeah. And so you're welcome, a little pitch. But it's

so easy and it's one of the most simple, I think, personal finance recommendations you can give is like everyone could use one. And it's a quick win. And there's like, it's, I always joke, it's the one personal finance thing that isn't too good to be true. Totally. Like, you're all, you're like, what's the catch? And I'm like, there really is no catch. And you work really hard for your money. Your money should work just as hard. And I think that's the perfect side. Yeah. Okay. So we talked about, you talked about doom spending. There's so much pressure always to, whether it's, you know, keeping up with the Joneses, but also like social media now is just like, how do we consume and how do we TikTok shop and how do we, like, there's temptation

to spend at all hours of the day from our phone that's in our pocket. So how do we consume? So how we determine you were mentioning, how do we find the things that actually are going to feel good that aren't just like quick dopamine hits? Yes, I am a self-professed clicker on Instagram ads that I've like really been trying to work. What's the craziest thing you bought? What's the craziest thing you bought? Oh, probably like way too many dog bandanas. I only have one dog. She could only wear so many at once. You're just your dog's covered in bandana. I know. It's not even a dog. It's just a bandana now. We're just going to have like a bandana wall for the dog. Mine was, um, a wrinkle reducing stickers. Oh, you got those? I resisted. 20. Did they work? I don't know. I don't know. Do they work? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I could

not control anything in COVID. And that was like, I can control my wrinkles. I can control my 11s right here. And while I'm home, I'm just going to, thank you. Wasn't fishing, but I was emotional a little bit. No, but that was the stupidest thing I ever bought. I think I was telling some of this. earlier, one of the funniest things for me that I get targeted with is, you know, they try to prey on your insecurities, right? Like, do you want to be more fashionable? Do you want to be, like, more successful at work? And, like, that's what you see. And they have a lot of data on, like, billions of us. And somehow the algorithm thinks that I want to be an it girl, this is, this is, I want to be clear. This is nothing I have ever expressed interesting being, but I'd be like, you need the it girl phone case and the it girl watch and the it girl

necklace. Get off my internet. And so I think you've just said it girl into your phone know that and it's like hopefully everyone's on airplane mode um so so i think like for me a couple it's so easy and like they're getting smarter and smarter and it's fun to like go on ticot it's fun to go on instagram to a point but um the couple of techniques that i use and i recommend like one just like add a little friction to the process it is crazy i think one time i woke i'm like oh i ordered that it's like one click like apple pay it's like got sent to me don't do that um so like remove those save addresses, remove the save credit card information, things like that can make a big difference. And then my other personal favorite thing that I do is I have a big user of like Apple notes

on my phone and my laptop. And I have a list of like things I want but probably don't need. And so if I'm like seeing something out in the wild, I'll write it down like it girl phone case, dog bandana. And then I tell myself to wait like X amount of time, right? Like I love the month, even just try a week because I've even noticed. And I like work in. personal finance, right? I'm thinking of this all the time. And I still have done so many things where I bought that thing. And a week later, I'm like, why did I buy the thing? Or the box gets delivered and you're like, I could not tell you what's in that box. Exactly. There's like five different copies of The Life of a Showgirl waiting for me at home in San Francisco. So I'll probably

give those out to my safety friends. But I'm all often surprised that even in a day or like two days, like, oh, I really don't actually need or want that thing. And so try it. It's very rare that like you see some ad and it's like gone forever, never be found again, like a week later. That's something that's been really helpful for me, I recommend. I do the same. And I think that's such a helpful tip because just giving yourself time, like even 48 hours. Yeah. Like, think it over. You probably will not remember it in 48 hours. And if you do, that means you really want it. So great. My other favorite one, it's like a little woo-woo, but it's so helpful is just like ask yourself, like, what is this serving? Like, if I'm buying this thing, why am I buying this thing? And if the answer

truly is to make myself feel better right now, maybe that will make you feel better. But maybe there's an alternative choice. Like, maybe you do need to just go on a walk. Maybe you need to cry in the bathtub. Like, there is other options. It ends up being a vice in that way, just like you might reach for alcohol or something. It's like, ask yourself, like, why do I want this thing? And how is it going to make me feel? Not just right now, but when potentially the guilt creeps in. And I love spending money. I am not the financial expert. Like, I'm not a regular mom. I'm a cool mom. Like, I am going to tell you that you can spend money, but I don't want you spending your hard-earned money on things you don't give a shit about because that's not helpful. One of the things I was just thinking about

with that was I might once in a while, you know, choose something from that list and get. But the thing I asked myself is, if I was moving next week, would I bring this thing with me? Oh, that's good. That sounds very silly. Like, I've been living in my current condo in San Francisco for several years. You just can accumulate stuff, right? As someone who just moved. Yes. And so when you moved, I would love to know how that process was for you. But I realize there's so many things. Like, would I cart this item to another place? Like, do I need like 35 different coffee mugs from like coffee? Yeah, I got rid of a bunch. Exactly. So that is also something we're like, if in that moment, even a part of me is like, I'm not sure I would move this item I have not yet bought. I probably don't need to buy that thing. Yeah. Does everybody, does anybody have like a mom who is like, you might need it later? Oh. Like I have a mom who's so well intention, but she's like, you know, it's the John Melanial. Like it can be a sleep shirt.

It's like, it's way too big. It doesn't fit. But she's like, oh, you're going to need it. And I think it was Marie Kondo who was like, if it's under like $20, you can buy it again. Yeah. Like if you truly need it. And so I get rid of stuff all the time now. I'm like, again, if I bought it, if I need it in three years, I'll buy it again. I have a not spicy, but whatever the right adjective, fall up to that. I love the Marie Kondo method of Sparking Joy. I also heard about something called the poop test. Has anyone heard about this? Oh, that if it had poop on it, would you rub it off? Would you keep it? Or would you clean it or you throw it away. And I swear, that is more useful than any, like, a lot of things spark joy when you're like, eh, you know, or nothing. And you're like, I would throw most of these things away. Can you use that one too? I don't know if the story is into a credit card. I approved, but I did once drop my phone into a port-a-potty. No. And I dug it out. It was on top. Yeah. And then I disinfected everything 17 times. I'm sorry. I was broke. I needed the phone. And you lived to tell the tale. I I love to tell the tail. Oh.

Everybody's like, oh, I shook her hand before. I was at a music festival this weekend, and any time there was a bathroom break, people are like, you hold everything. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I will never do it again. No. I will never put it in a pocket.

Everything's secured. Yep. When we're talking about, like, this is a hard pivot. I'm like, how do I pivot out of this? Very horrible confession. It's a relatable story. When we think about the outside pressure beyond social media,

like, when your friend's like, hey, yeah, come to my bachelor's part. and spend $5,000 or come out to dinner for the fourth time this week. How do you set boundaries while still getting to see your friends? Yeah. FOMO spending is so real. I think the first thing I'd say it's, it's okay to be conflicted about these things. Like to your point earlier, and I'm always saying, I always want to spend my money, my best use of spending my money is on experiences with people I love.

Yeah. But there are a lot of opportunities to spend money on experiences with people you love. And we should all be so lucky, but it's also like you have to be mindful. And so I think the couple of things that I say in this situation have said to myself is understand, like, how much do you actually have to spend? And that's where like going back to that, the budget, the B word, or just knowing where you stand is so important. So you know, like, hey, yeah, I can probably swing that $100 concert or actually like every single cent needs to go towards debt paydown. So like knowing where you stand is really important. And I think the other thing that's really important is just doing what we're doing right now and talking about it.

Yeah. Because it can be so hard if your friends like, let's do this thing together and you're in your own head. Like, what's this going to do? Am I going to go in a credit card debt? Am I going to be able to do this? Is she going to hate me forever? Have the conversation. Like most people have had money challenges at some point or at least know somebody who does. And you might find that maybe there's another great plan that could be cheaper where you could still catch up and enjoy that.

And so I think knowing what you can spend and having that idea and then also having the conversation can really help you at least navigate those emotional decisions a little bit more easily. Yeah. And I think as we gear it for the holidays too, it is one of those things. Like holidays feel very high pressure of like, I need to spend on activities and I need to buy people the perfect gift. And like, if you're going into credit card debt to prove to somebody how much you love them, like that's just really hard. Okay. So we have so many questions, both from you all and from our Instagram at her first under K. Okay. So a dilemma around weddings. And I kind of led into this. It is never ending, especially if you're a woman. It's the engagement party. It's the shower. It's the

Bachelorette. It's the wedding. It's the like wedding weekend now. Like, weddings are like a week-long affair. So how do we say yes to something? Like, how do we determine what we can afford? Yeah. The wedding topic, we could go all day on this. Yeah. It is so, it's the perfect combination of things where it's something fun. There's FOMO. There's a relationship at stake with a friend. Yes. And there's money at stake. And it's a one-time thing. So it's not like the gift. Hopefully. Well, actually, that's true. Hopefully it's a one-time thing. I'm getting to the second. weddings, they're much smaller. But it is so hard. So I think the first thing is like recognizing this is really hard. I, in my mid-20s, I remember, so crystal clear that one of my friends

wasn't even an expensive situation, but there was a shower, there was a bachelor at party, there was something else, there was actual wedding. And I spent like a couple of thousand dollars. I did not have a couple thousand dollars to spend. But at the time, I went to credit card debt. And I never even thought about like, hey, maybe we'd talk about this. So I love that people are talking about it. I think for me, the recommendation, I give and have used myself is, one, this is all coming back to, like, knowing where you stand, right? Like, how much money you have to spend on it? And then, two, reflect on, like, which of these events, if you need to pick is going to be the most meaningful. And that's going to be different

for everybody. I love that. Sometimes your friend, like, really wants you at the wedding, even if it's 200 people and you're just going to be like, hey, Tori and the court, like, they want you there. And maybe in another situation, it's like, I would actually really rather you be at my bachelor party because you're my best friends. We can spend quality of time together. But being open about, I might need to make a choice. And then, you know, as much as you feel comfortable with, like, involving your friends in that decision, or just simply saying, I wish I could celebrate with you, but I can't, I'd love to see you next time you're in the city. People who are truly your friends will get it. They will be disappointed

because they love you. And of course, you want the people you love at your events. But it is, I think, not the relationship ender that people make it out on it. If you spend too much time on like wedding shaming on Reddit, you'll probably see that. It can in fact be that. Am I the asshole? Yeah. Plenty of internet drama. But your real friends will know and understand and, like, want you to make good decisions. And so involve them in that conversation. Yeah, you gave the exact advice I would give. I think all of that is so important. And also just, like, level-setting expectations. Like, we're so nervous as a culture to talk about money because it feels really scary. And especially when it is such a, this is your big day.

And there's so much pressure already. And it's just like, hi, I want to support you. I can't afford to in this way. So let's figure out how I can show up for you in a way that makes sense for both of us. Because I think that's the conversation you have to have. because I don't want you feeling resentful. I don't want their being, again, we want to have a joyous occasion where no one's mad at anybody. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What is the best way to budget and plan for big financial goals when your income isn't consistent month to month? This one is so hard. I've so much empathy. I've been there. There's so many people out there who have irregular income and it makes it so difficult. So I think, and I know I'm probably a broke record, but just knowing what's

coming in, right? You can look at, one thing I like to suggest, not a, you know, not a golden rule for everybody as it is personal. Look at like the last however many months you've got, right? Maybe it's 6, 12, 18. Figure out what you're kind of seeing. Look at that average. Maybe haircut it a little bit just to be safe, right? There's going to be months that are, you know, higher or lower. And then build a budget around that and then have anything that comes in after that be money that you can put towards savings. And then those savings could be potentially something that you could draw from if you do have like an emergency month. really, really low month. But I think it's always really important to budget for, I don't say

the worst case situation, because the worst case situation for income is probably $0 or more debt, but make sure you are being conservative in how you are planning around your monthly required expenses, things like your rent, your groceries, your gas, and then be very, very, very cognizant of anything beyond that. So that's the first starting point I recommend for folks. I think that's great. Yeah, I talk about everybody should know their ramen noodle number. I love that. the bare amount of money you need to make in order to get by. So, like, what is your rent? What are your groceries? What's your insurance? What's daycare costs? Second mortgage for most people. But, like, that's the number you need to have in mind so that if you're a freelancer,

if you're a tipped worker, if your income is very volatile, you know, okay, this is the bare amount of money I need to be making. And if you're a business owner, right, that is after taxes. So you've taken 30% to Uncle Sam at least. And then you figured out, okay, what does this actually look like for me? And that whole living below your means at any income level is what's going to build wealth. And so I think there's an opportunity here to, if you're focusing on that ramen noodle number and have anything beyond that going generally into savings account, you might look up a few months from now, like, wow, I didn't realize I would be able to actually be saving this money. And so it's a great way to start building those habits of figuring out what you really need

and then being intentional like we were talking about those splurges beyond that. Yeah. We can't not talk about student loans. how do we pay it off? Like, how do we manage some student loan balances that, you know, are more mild, maybe a couple thousand dollars? But I have followers. It's $100,000 of student loans. Right. Like, how do we work to manage that? What's the first step? I know there's a lot of student loan anxiety right now always. It's the cost of education has been high. But, you know, especially with some of the changes over recent years, the first thing you need to do, understand what your options are. Calling your loan servicer is a great option. Again, I know a lot of

don't like picking up the phone. We'd rather, you know, do anything else. Yeah. Walking to the river. Exactly. But you really understand, like, get in touch touch with your own service. This is the first, like, bringing the ostrich head out of the sand. And I don't know if there's payment, you know, repayment or different payment plans available to you. There probably are. They're often are based on if, you know, your income is lower than you might feel like you need to have to be able to pay. Like, you know, I've heard for folks with multiple thousand dollar month payments. Start there. That's a great way figure out what your options are. And then once you know what those are, then you can come back

and go back to that budget and that ramen noodle number to be like, how am I going to make sure each month that I'm putting aside money at the beginning of the month to make those payments? Because you do not want to ignore them back to our earlier conversation about credit scores. You can start, we do see on our platform at Credit Karma that there are many folks, even who start out with great credit scores, who went delinquent on their student loans for many life reasons that might be happening and saw a really big impact on their scores. So knowing what your options are is really important. Yeah.

And I think with debt of all kinds, not all debt is the same. So I think a lot of people think about, okay, credit card debt and student loan debt and a mortgage, all of it is debt. And I'm like, debt is very different depending on the interest rate or depending on how the interest accrues. Like credit cards, you know, the interest rate is really high, the interest compounds and the interest compounds daily. that is very unique for debt. And so you have to kind of prioritize and think of all of your debt slightly different as opposed to like lumping it all together, especially when you're trying to piecemeal it to get a plan together to pay it off. Right. And with the credit card debt, I love that you call that out because it is just wild how quickly it can balloon. And we talk a lot

about, you know, make sure you pay off that high interest credit card debt first. The other thing I just want people to remember is I think it can also be easy to just be focusing on the credit card debt and maybe forget about a student loan payment or something else. And you still want to make sure you're making the minimum required payments on any other debt or a mortgage if you haven't to have on something like that to make sure you're maintaining that positive credit history. Yeah. But doing anything you can to reduce credit card debt is going to be really helpful for your financial life. I can't believe I've gone this long without talking about investing. Oh, great. It's like credit cards and investing are my two favorite personal finance topics.

Perfect. Me too. I think we know the stats, especially around women. Like we make less because of the pay gap. Yeah. But we also wait to invest compared to men or don't invest at all because we think it's too risky or we think there's like, there's just, it's so jargon heavy that you're worried about making the wrong choice. So how do you think about saving for retirement while also prioritizing paying off debt? This is the question. You know, I think that we could probably debate this, you know, for hours and how do I make, what's the right hierarchy of my financial needs? And I think with retirement is really interesting because it might feel so far away, but compound interest is just one of the most incredible concepts to learn in personal finance.

You know, I wish I had put my $5 a month allowance when I, when I was 10 into like the S&B 500. I know, right? Are you seen those memes that it's like, oh, if I started, I was born in 94, if I started a 95, right? It's like, yeah. But then my cheesy thing, like, that would be the best time. The second best time is today. Yeah. Because you're going to, you know, hopefully we're all going to get older and like, you're going to be

there. And so if you have that time, like any money that you can. be investing, it has that opportunity to grow. And so my number one encouragement is figure out how to start, even if it's just with a little bit of money. I know it feels impossible if you're 25 to think about retiring, especially just with that time horizon. It's very intimidating. But building that habit now, even if you don't have like a high salary, that's a habit that you can build upon. I love the idea of paying yourself first, even if it's $20 a month. Have that go into your 401K, have that go into like a robo advisor and just set it and forget it and being able to start seeing those

funds grow is one of the most exciting things, honestly, that I think you can experience when it comes to investing. And so, and the last thing I would say there is, I know 401K matches are not always available, unfortunately, but if you do have one available, even if you're juggling other financial priorities, that's really one of the closest things to free money that you're going to get in today's day and age. And so making sure you take advantage of that and allowing it to, you know, continue compound is so important. Yeah. My last question for you, and this is so helpful. So thank you. When you think about having knowledge around money, what does that mean for someone who is struggling with their personal finances? Like,

how can they invest in their own education around money? It is so empowering to know what to do with your money. And it's like it can feel so intimidating and scary to even start. But like just being able to come together, listen to these conversations, like, up a book and saying like what are just the main things that I can be doing are is so important and will really help set you up for the rest of your life. And I think the number one thing I tell people is like everyone's starting somewhere and progress is so personal. And so treat yourself with grace, understand where you are. Know that no matter what, there's hundreds, thousands, millions of people have been exactly where you are and take this newfound information, bring it to

your friends, bring it to people like create like be having those conversations in your spaces. And that way we can all be lifting each other up a little every single day. and, you know, hopefully working towards a brighter financial future. Yeah. Please plug away. Tell us where people can find out more about Credit Karma, all of the tools and resources. And I've been using, this is not just like, because I'm here. I've been using Credit Karma for 10 years.

Like, it's so helpful and it's so beneficial to see those numbers and see what's going on. So plug away, my friend. Thank you. You can download the Credit Karma mobile app or check us out at Credit Karma.com. I love it. Thank you all for being here. Thank you for listening. And we'll talk to you soon.

Thank you. Thank you so much to Courtney Love for joining us and to Credit Karma for sponsoring this episode and the live podcast event. It was truly so nice. I got to meet a bunch of the people in the audience. It was just gorgeous. It was like in one of my favorite spots in the city with a sweeping view of the rivers and the bridges and it was just, it was a great event. So thank you to Credit Karma for sponsoring this episode and for supporting financial feminists in our company. It means the world to us. And again, you can head on over to Her First 100K.com slash FFPod to get personalized judgment-free insights on how to pay off debt and make your money work harder for you from Credit Karma. Thank you, as always, for being here, Financial Feminists. I'll see you soon. Bye.

Thank you for listening to Financial Feminist, a Her First 100K podcast. For more information about Financial Feminist, Her First 100K, our guests, and episode show notes, visit Financial Feminist Podcast.com. If you're confused about your personal finances and you're wondering where to start, go to her first 100k.com slash quiz for a free personalized money plan. Financial Feminist is hosted by me, Tori Dunlap. Produced by Kristen Fields and Tamisha Grant, research by Sarah Shortino, audio and video engineering by Alyssa Midcast, marketing and operations by Karina Patel and Amanda LaFew. Special thanks to our team at her first 100K.

Caitlin Sprenkel, Mashabak McKeever, Sasha Bonar, Ray Wong, Elizabeth McCumber, Daryl Ann Ingman, Shelby Duclos, Megan Walker, and Jess Hawks. Promotional graphics by Mary Stratton, photography by Sarah Wolf, and theme music by Jonah Cohen Sound. A huge thanks to the entire her first 100K community for supporting our show.