Finding Peak w/ Ryan Hanley - From Heartbreak to Harmony | DeeAnn Dimeo

Episode Date: August 19, 2024

Spartan philosophy, built in the black-ops lab of business: https://www.findingpeak.comFinding Peak podcast: https://linktr.ee/ryan_hanleyIt's incredible how music can transform pain into beauty. Join us for an incredible conversation with DeeAnn Dimeo, a remarkably versatile musician whose journey through pop, country, blues, and jazz is as inspiring as it is moving.Join 10,000+ subscribers: https://linktr.ee/ryan_hanleyConnect with DeeAnn DimeoInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/deeann_dimeosings/Website: https://deeannmusic.com/DeeAnn shares her deeply personal story of growing up in Buffalo, the significant influence of her musical family, and how icons like her father and Barbra Streisand shaped her artistic path. Most profoundly, she opens up about the tragic loss of her child three years ago and how that heartbreak became the catalyst for her latest jazz album, a testament to human resilience and creativity.As we explore DeeAnn's rich musical journey, she offers invaluable insights into her evolving passion for music—from the rhythmic beats of dance tracks to the profound lyrics and melodies that define her work today. DeeAnn discusses the intricacies of songwriting, drawing from personal experiences of love and loss, and utilizing modern tools to capture spontaneous ideas. Balancing the emotional weight of performing original songs with the demands of personal life, DeeAnn's narrative underscores the importance of self-expression and the deep connection she forms with her audience through her music.Our conversation also touches on the profound themes of faith, presence, and authenticity. DeeAnn illuminates how spirituality comforted her during times of uncertainty and how being present in the moment—whether through mindful walks in nature or stargazing—can transform one's mental clarity and creativity. We also delve into the challenges of maintaining authenticity in the music industry, with DeeAnn sharing her advice for aspiring musicians on embracing their unique voice amidst modern technological pressures. Don't miss this deeply inspiring episode, celebrating the power of resilience, passion, and authentic self-expression in the world of music.--Recommended Tools for GrowthOpusClip: #1 AI video clipping and editing tool: https://link.ryanhanley.com/opusRiverside: HD Podcast & Video Software | Free Recording & Editing: https://link.ryanhanley.com/riversideWhisperFlow: Never waste time typing on your keyboard again: https://link.ryanhanley.com/whisperflowCaptionsApp: One app for all your social media video creation: https://link.ryanhanley.com/captionsappGoHighLevel: It's time to take your business workflow to the Next Level: https://link.ryanhanley.com/gohighlevelPerspective.co: The #1 funnel builder for lead generation: https://link.ryanhanley.com/perspective--Episodes You Might Enjoy:From $2 Million Loss to World-Class Entrepreneur: https://lnk.to/delkFrom One Man Shop to $200M in Revenue: https://lnk.to/tommymelloIs Psilocybin the Gateway to Self-Mastery? https://lnk.to/80upZ9This show is part of the Unplugged Studios Network — the infrastructure layer for serious creators. 👉 Learn more at https://unpluggedstudios.fm.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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Yeah, the, the Annie and I didn't want to listen to music. I didn't want to, I didn't want to sing a note. Let's go. Yeah, make it look, make it look, make it look easy. The Ryan Hanley Show shares the original ideas, habits, and mindsets of world-class original thinkers you can use to produce extraordinary results in your life and business. This is The Way. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the show. an incredible conversation for you today with Dian DeMayo.

Dian is a story musical career working with some incredible acts as well as a solo career and her most recent album is actually in the jazz genre and we talk about how she has moved through things like pop and country now to jazz how she was able to do that why she did it what her inspirations for that was where she gets her creativity for but the power of this episode is dealing with tragedy and in that this case, the Anne was faced with the loss of her child three years ago and dealing with her son's death coming through that and how she was able to re-energize her career, re-energize her creativity, and pull herself through that moment in order to be the success that she is today

launching a brand new album. This is a powerful episode. Buckle up, you're going to absolutely love it. If this is your first time listening to the show, whether you're listening on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts, or you're watching on YouTube, make you sure you hit the subscribe button so you get future episodes if you have comments if you have thoughts if you just want to show support for diane either connect with her directly or leave it in the comment section or in the review section of uh wherever you're listening or watching that way we can pull uh dn in and connect her with you if you uh want to do so dana is a wonderful person it was such a pleasure having on the show i know you're gonna love this conversation and as always

I appreciate the hell out of you for listening. I love you for listening. Let's get on to Deanne DeMille. Deanne, so excited to have you on the show. When I was researching you, one of the first things that I saw that I found intriguing in a place of connection that we have is that you're from Buffalo. Yes, I am. Well, not your house, actually.

Yeah. So my entire family, except for me, I have like 30 Irish Catholic cousins and now all kinds of second cousins or whatever you call. their kids, just this huge, Erdog family in South Buffalo. They all live in South Buffalo. So I've been to Buffalo 10 million times. My, you know,

we're Bill's fans and Sabres fans. And Western New York has a, plays a huge role in my life. And I thought that was a really interesting connection point. Yes, definitely Buffalo Bills. I think we are the only team that four consecutive years in a row. Yes. Yeah, four consecutive years for 100%.

Unfortunately, we never came away with the trophy. but there's a it's funny people I find who grew up in Buffalo or Western New York in general and were you know they didn't have to be huge fans but followed the team at that time there's like this there's like this odd camaraderie that you just have to have if you experienced those moments whether you're like someone who was yelling at the TV or just you know there and aware there's always this shared connection point having suffered or just how much the city suffered during that time, you know? Yeah, it's so interesting.

Yeah. It's so funny what sports does to us. And we were talking a little beforehand about baseball and your son, and I want to get into all that. But what you were discussing was coaches. And I think of that more, you know, not just coaches in sports, but you could have a coach in basically anything you do, mentors. You know, I'm interested in, you came from a musical family.

Was that your primary influence? Was there someone else that grabbed you that, that, that kind of pushed you into this life, that that this was going to be kind of an enormous part of who you are? Like, did you have that coach, that mentor, that person that guided you? Yeah, when I was seven and one of those where I have that dream. When I was seven, I knew this is what I wanted to do. And I was playing in the playground in school and we were talking. I don't even know how it came up.

But I said, I'm going to be a singer. And that's what I'm doing. I don't know why I thought that at 7, but my father, always a singer, singing around the house, turning me on to jazz music. And I didn't want to listen to jazz at the time because I wanted to listen to pop music.

Yeah. Barbara Streisand, actually. So I'd say between my father being my mentor, and it's kind of crazy, but Barbara Streisand was another mentor to me. I just would read about her and absorb everything about her because I was just so enamored with her passion and her strength and her confidence and her drive.

And, you know, so kind of learned a lot from her by reading her stories. But my father definitely, my father was from the beginning to the end. He just passed a couple years ago. So, yeah. So ultimately you found yourself in jazz. What brought you back? I found myself not in jazz. I mean, I found myself in jazz with my dad, yeah.

But I went into pop. I went into country. I went into blues, blues, jazz similar countries. They're all kind of similar in ways, but jazz was where you can be free to change melody and not change the melody you got to respect the melody of the song so the first time he sing the verse chorus you always want to give respect to that melody but if you want to change your al-a-low you have some freedom there where when it's saying the pop you know it's just you want to kind

of sing verbatim like what it is you don't want to change it and the jazz to me was a challenge because uh i didn't know i kind of liked i how i had to stay within the lines and now i like that i can go outside the lines and do whatever I want. And sometimes it sounds fantastic and sometimes like, oh, maybe I shouldn't have done that. But I learn. Every day is a learning process. You know, I've had other jazz musicians.

And obviously that's where you are today in your work. And I want to dig into the evolution of that. But I've always been so enamored by jazz and blues, particularly in how you can listen to a song, the studio recording of any particular song and sounds great. And then you could hear a live version or see that same individual live. And it's almost as if I think more than any other genres, those two particular allow the music captures the mood of the artist in that moment

and allows them to express it where like a pop artist, if he or she's having a bad day, they're going to sing the song exactly the same way. It's going to come off pretty close to what you're going to get. But you could hear somebody just be in a different mood and the same blues tune comes off a little slower with a little more cadence or a little more depth or vice versa. And I find that such an intriguing quality of those particular types of music.

Absolutely. My drummer I used to work with, I do a Wednesday afternoon jazz gig, 12 to 2. And we give people. And it's a sportsman, you know Buffalo, so it's sportsmen. Yep. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. So I used to work with a drummer who worked with Billy Holiday,

and he said exactly that, that she would, it depended on her mood, how the song came out. So one of her songs that I love to sing, fine and mellow, it could be upbeat, loosey swing, it could be just torture. It could be whatever mood she's in. And she told me that the musicians would, they would have to, what, what mood is she in today? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which way are we doing this song? And you just had to pay attention.

But yeah, music is such a release. And if you want to sing that song real boozy and more sultry, then you go ahead and do it. Yeah. You have the freedom. I'm very interested in how you. transitioned throughout your career through the different genres of music because, you know, you don't necessarily see a lot of people go pop to country to something else, right? Like, you don't see those, those moods.

I mean, people may do different artists, and certainly some artists who've been a long time have tried different styles. But one, I guess, and again, so you know, and I've said this before in the show, I am, like, not musically inclined. I have this enormous and huge appreciation. And I'm sure if I practiced, I could make something come out of an instrument, but at my core, I do not have any, like, God-given musical talent at all. So I'm very interested in just what inspiration you had to say, hey, I'd like to try something different. Is it hearing a certain song?

Is it just you're in a different place in your life? Is it a seasonal thing? Like, how does that, how do you make those transitions or decide or what's, you? What's your inspiration to make that kind of move? That's exactly. Well, first of all, let me just say you may have music talent that you don't know because I used to teach pre-K to eighth grade and I used to teach those kids how to sing on pitch

because they didn't think they could. And many that I thought, oh, possibly, I don't know if they're singing, if I'm going to be successful here. But 95% of them I was able to. So never say that you don't know many. but as far as different genres um i guess it just depends on what's going on in your life the maturity that you know where you are um pop was fun to me it was dance music and i i love to dance um so i love the glorious stephan stuff and you know my name is sound machine had her band was just so

rhythmic and the beginning days, like I said, started with Barbara Streis. So for me, it's about the song. It's about the vocal, because I'm always, that's the first thing I listen to. I listen to the production of the whole song, but the local is what grabs me. And a song is a song, whether it's in the country vein or it's in the jazz vein, but if it's a good song, I'm loving it. So I think that's how I kind of switch from different genres, because I still love country very much.

A friend of mine, we were just listening to George Jones, some of the earlier stuff. And I didn't even know about some of his earlier stuff, and he turned me on to it. And I opened up for George Jones singing country. But then again, like I did the pop stuff, and I loved doing the dance band and watching the people enjoy that dancing

to that music that we were producing, So it really just depends what's going on in your life. As I matured even more, I really love the freedom of the jazz and the blues. Oh, the blues, yeah. Just to be able to just express yourself and reach someone through your vocal means everything. It's more than the paycheck at the end of the day or how many people who are watching you, how much validation you may have gotten or may not. it's why someone is so moved from your song from your vocal you know especially if it's your

original song yeah the best but yeah so that's why i think i just i i love all genres but right now i'm very comfortable and happy to um book as many jazz shows as i can because that's my time now like the name of my cd it's my time yeah what how do you write a song like oh that's crazy Yeah, I mean, I just, I've never written a song. Like, where does the inspire, is it, is it, is it like the Jerry Seinfeld method where you sit down every day and you're putting notes down and, or is it you, you're getting inspiration and things are coming to you or are you constantly collecting ideas? Like, how does that work for you? Yeah, for me, it's definitely inspired by a few things. One of them is just what's going on in your life.

and all of a sudden I'll just start speaking something or I'll start saying something or I'll hear a melody and I'll just write it down or because we have Ike phones now I'll get the voice memo and I'll record a... Are you tired of endless follow-ups and missed opportunities in your sales process? Chasing leads is a losing game.

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Everybody's got a story, a song I wrote after I lost my brother. I was inspired because I was like, everybody's got a story. Everyone's walking around with something. And you have no idea what they're walking around with. So you always have to be kind. And the bridge is talking about just listen, just observe, just watch what they're going through because when they're snapping at you, it's not what you did.

most of the time it's about what they're going through. Yeah. And you don't know if they just, if their husband just upped and left two days ago or they just buried a very special person in their lives or they just lost a job. There is abuse. Like you don't know what's going on in people's lives.

So that's where that's a ston came from. And just so many of them. Stay here is another song I wrote missing someone who left me. So, you know, that's how they get inspired a lot. And sometimes they're written in like two, three minutes. They're done. And everything comes flowing. And sometimes it's like you put it down, you go back to it.

And there's a song called Torn that I wrote. I was torn between, do I keep trying to pursue this thing? At the time I was doing a lot of stuff in Nashville. do I keep trying to pursue this or do I have children? Because I knew my spouse at the time was not going to like the lifestyle of music and children, which that happens in a lot of relationships, unfortunately. So I was toward which way do I go? And I ended up going towards having two children, which I don't regret a second of that.

But again, that song started and it didn't get finished until, I don't know, It didn't get recorded until years later. So there's a lot of notes, too. You go into my piano bench. You'll see tons and tons of handwriting that we don't do anymore. And you'll see, you know, like so many lyrics that I've written throughout the years, I may not have not have put melodies to yet. How do you put the melody?

Like, I guess what I've never been able to wrap my head around is, does the melody come first? Did the lyrics come first? Like, how do you start to match those two? You know, you hear in R&B a lot, they're producers who all they do is produce beats and drops and riffs and, you know, these different things. And then they find an artist who can put lyrics over the top.

You know, how do you piece all that together? Like, are you in your mind while you're singing the song or you're doing it Acapella? Do you also have like a background track going in your head of kind of maybe where some beats are or something like that. In my situation, I don't do the beat so much. I didn't grow up with that and I appreciate it. I sang my stuff, a lot of it I sang Acapala

or I would accompany myself on piano with some basic chords that I can do. And either, it goes both ways. Sometimes I can hear the melody and I'll just start humming it. And then I'll say, oh, I should try to put some lyrics to that. And sometimes nothing happens. Or more often I'd say I write the lyrics first and then I try to put a melody to it.

But also what happens in my situation, or what has happened for me is my producer who produced my last three albums. I would send him the Acapulah version of me singing. And then he would surprise me with arrangement around it. So he'd accompanied it with chords. And sometimes I'd be like, I did not hear that the way you're hearing it. And it's all subjective. And 99.9% of the time I loved what he was putting around it. And even if I didn't hear what he was hearing.

So he would start putting the chords around it and some much prettier chords than I was playing. And then he might try a different rhythm. that I didn't maybe hear myself. So in my situation, it's been a combination of the producer and myself putting it together. So that's why I say we co-write sums. Yeah. Your latest album, It's My Time, which you referenced before, is dedicated to your late son. One, maybe just as much as you can talk about how that you were able to bring anything creative

out of such a horrifying experience and, you know, just talk a little bit about how that experience shapes your creation process. Yeah. The, the Annie and I didn't want to listen to music. I didn't want to, I didn't want to sing a note. I actually couldn't hum for the longest time.

I'm always humming. That takes a lot in time. And then my producer started like, let's do this, let's do that. And then he'd look at me, you're not ready. No, I got, yeah, I am, yeah, you know, I'd get defensive. Yeah, I am. But I wasn't.

Then I'd say probably it was a year later. I really wanted to do a fundraiser for him. I wanted his, which I've completed, which I'll tell you about it. But I couldn't just let it end there. He was 23. He was a very smart. driven, funny, kind of spontaneous,

talented in his sports. He thought he can sing, but kind of. So I couldn't let Williams' life end right there at 23 years old. So when my producer said, let's put a show together and we'll raise money for the fundraiser, for the scholarship.

and I said, okay, so he puts the flyer together, and it says all proceeds going to William's scholarship. And I was like, I don't have a scholarship. So wait a minute, we can't put this flyer out. He's like, no, you better find a scholarship. So friends really and family really helped me through a lot of this time. So I went to Canesha's High School where my son played baseball. He was the catcher and the varsity.

team right i think he joined jb in his freshman year at a sophomore year he was already in the varsity team he was a fantastic catcher which you know playing baseball that's like the guy that's got to watch everything and you got to put attention captain of the defense yeah pardon captain of the defense yes and he you know i didn't realize how much he has to think about so um he went to that school he graduated seventh in his class full you know a great scholarship to go there and so during his junior year he went to he really wanted to do something he always wanted to find purpose in life which i'm the same way like i always feel like why are we here and he did that um trip to nicaragua it's a mission trip and he went for 10

days and he helped them build their church and he stayed in the little house whatever you call their little houses was like a little hut with the bathroom in the back and maybe some dirt floors and that's their lifestyle they didn't have a lot he watched them it was life-changing for him he watched how happy they were and they had nothing where you come back here we have everything we have way too much and then we're not happy we're trying to figure out well how do I get happy and they're just happy with the authentic simple life there's so much love the families are together so he just saw so much to life changing for him so um that came to my mind so i went to canetius and andy d al i said listen

you know i'm i'm you know a morning mother and i need to do something for my son he helped me set it up. So it's been going for, well, I started, it's been three years since I lost my son. So it's, I started it two years ago. And within, you needed to raise $50,000 to get it endowed. So within a year, I raised it. And I was just driven. And I said two boys on the trip so far. my first boy james we just did an interview with him our local news station and it was fantastic pete gallivan from channel two he's like i made me you know him from being from buffalo he's on the morning show and um he interviewed james myself andy and james just said i'm so grateful it's been life changing i want to start a non-profit organization now i want to help other people i have a purpose

I know there's something in life that I'm supposed to do and I'm finding this purpose and going on this trip. So William's scholarship will continue to help each individual every year. It's an all-boys school, and their junior year is when they do their mission trips. And that's what kept we singing. So that was answered to your question. Wow. Obviously, I'm supposed to do this.

And I'm supposed to keep this story alive to help others because I know there are many other people hurting just as bad or definitely worse. So if I can help these young men get a change in their life, I'm happy. And then I'm doing my purpose. Yeah. And I'm doing it, you know, through singing, through interviews. Because I share my story with others on stage and everyone wants to help. to donate and they you know so it's all good yeah as much as we give people people the proverbial people a hard time and i think we're all caught up in our own stuff at our core i think most of us just

want to help other people i mean when the rubber really meets the road so many people come out yeah you notice anytime there's tragedies it's so many people are running to help uh in this country other countries yeah and i know i feel the best when i'm helping someone else i've always felt that way um and if i can help them through the scholarship if i can help them through showing that no matter what tragedies come on you know and going spiritual now god has a plan i didn't agree with this plan on this one i still don't understand the plan and i'm just going to have to have my face and believe that this plant, everything's happening the way it's supposed to happen. And I will see him again when it's my time. Meanwhile, I'm singing and

I'm taking care of my daughter, who have beautiful daughter. She's 23. Or 24, she just turned. And I'm going to still sell my purpose and keep living because that's what I'm supposed to do. Yeah. I think you have to believe, and, you know, I've lost people in my mind. own life and I think also God-fearing I I think you have to believe that God needed him for something you know that's what my dad used to tell me you know when we would lose family members and I would ask questions he would say hey he needed him for something some unique skill that that individual had you know for whatever reason and it's terrible but I think how else do you explain it you know

Yeah, you can't really. You just, you got to have faith. I don't know how I would do this without my faith. I know that much. Yeah. I would be very lost. Yeah. I really cannot wrap my head around this idea of,

there's a new atheism is something that you hear a lot. I've listened to the people. They're very intelligent. I'm very interested in what they have to say. I still, despite all the arguments that I've heard, cannot wrap my head around the idea of believing that there isn't something bigger than... There's too many experiences, too many feelings,

too many moments in my own life, let alone all the books I've read and all the people you talk to to believe that there isn't something bigger going on that we just can't see. And I don't know how you live... I don't know how you live. What become morality alone cannot be your compass, in my opinion.

There has to be more than that. And I also don't think that without a mooring to God, it's too easy to excuse away moments where morality doesn't fit. And that's the part that I struggle with with that concept. And I feel like that concept falls apart. yeah it kind of scares me where they're at and all that atheism stuff and there's no hope and why would you worry about doing anything wrong if you're not going to be punished for it or if you're not uh yeah you don't have any morals because why there's nothing after here

so just do whatever you want to do whenever you want to do it and that's scary thought yeah Life has changed a lot since I came on this earth. And I pray that we all find a way. And there's no set, like, I'm not like, you have to be this kind of religion or that kind of religion. Same. Religion is, it's really human beings trying to come together and put, you know, a community together, which a lot of us need that community to get, you know, to share with each other. But still, at the end of the day, your spiritual needs and social fulfillment come in through here,

through your soul. Yeah. And without, in my opinion, without religion, I feel like too much of our lives, we're taught. First, we're never actually taught, but we're then rewarded as we grow older. Everything, all our rewards are externalities. about external when you grow up in a church and that church can take many different forms you you you start to learn about the importance of taking care of yourself and about what it means to actually love yourself be comfortable with yourself find meaning that's unique and specific to

you as an individual and instead of constantly searching for some form of of justification or external validation for the things that you do. And that feels to me like the big disconnect between much of what we're seeing in our society today that to me is bananas and the individuals that I know grew up with faith. It's almost like they just see two completely different realities. Absolutely. Their perspective is so different than not having something to believe in. I was listening to one of your podcasts.

I don't remember his name, but he was talking about how we're so busy and we don't we want noise around us because we don't want to we don't want to quiet because if we have the quiet then we have to face what's going on in our head. And if we face what's going on in our mind, then there's that inner child that needs to resolve things. And if we don't resolve those things,

things we were going to continue to use that behavior with the next relationship with the next friend with the job with anything we do because we're still trying to resolve something that happened when we were three and there's so much noise though that nobody likes to listen and sit and quiet then and you know and i'm not saying you got to be quiet as far as meditation and cross your legs and raise your hands, you know, and hum, quiet, even if you're in the streets in New York City and you're, there's noise all around. You've got to get the quiet in your own core.

And I think that a lot of people are afraid to do that. And I think many people go through life, never doing it, never finding that authentic self, never loving that self, because there's always rush to the next thing, the next movement, the next sound. And I liked that podcast. And I didn't finish listening to. I still have to listen to it.

I think that was Mike Robbins. I think that was Mike Robbins who said that. So it's funny. I'm reading. I shouldn't say I'm reading. I just finished. Eckertolli's the power of now. Oh, I had no book.

I never read. I have it, but I didn't read it. It's a good one. My opinion is you read the first 100-ish pages and you kind of can blow through the next hundred. but the concept is fairly simple but incredibly powerful in my opinion and it's just his one of his core ideas and maybe one of the primary ideas is this idea that all the time we spend in the past and all the time we spend in the future is wasted that right now in this moment with you I could be thinking about the four things I need to get done tonight I'm going to go with my girlfriend to dinner and I got this thing over here and I could be thinking about. how there was a question I wanted to ask on the last podcast and I never got to it and I was upset with my, I could be thinking about all these things. Or I could be 100% in this moment with you, listening to you, responding to you, connecting with you, and developing in the short time that we have together a connection that allows you to feel heard to share your story and for the audience to understand that there's a real conversation happening.

And then it's not just a business transaction where you come on and speak and I speak and we wait for our turns, right? And how I decided to try to practice that because I will say that I'm not the best at this particular thing. I do these ruck walks. You ever see people with a ruck vests? They wear weighted plates in the vest. And they go, okay, so I wear a ruck vest. It's a 40 pound, 20 in the front, 20 in the back. And I love it.

It's a fantastic exercise. I highly recommend it for anyone. It strengthens all the small muscles that you kind of bypass when you walk without weight. So as an exercise, I love it. But what I used to do is I put a podcast on. So now I'm listening to someone else. Someone else's ideas are in my brain. I'm not really in myself.

I'm kind of listening to them while I go for this walk. And I'm walking through. And I live in kind of a wooded area. So it's kind of beautiful kind of place that I live in. And one day I just took the AirPods out and I left them at home and I went for the walk without my phone and without my AirPods. And I went, I go for about 45 minutes. And I came back and I had, it was a completely different sensation. I don't want to say, I don't want to say better or worse necessarily because I do enjoy also listening to podcasts when I go my walks.

But I said, I'm going to start working this in once or twice because the stuff that starts to pop in your brain is kind of crazy. Like when you give yourself space, like without music and without someone on their voice, these thoughts and ideas and whatever start popping in your brain. I was like, ooh, I wouldn't have expected to think about that right now. Or I didn't know that that was in the back in my mind somewhere. And it was just a really interesting experience in trying to be present for a 45-minute walk. That's funny saying that because around in my block, I have a wooded area. And they built a path there.

And it's probably a couple of miles. And I used to go with the podcast or music constantly. And then one day I took them off. Same story. And I said, and not that it's worse or better, right, like you said, but it made me stay in the moment. It made me look through the deer and check out the Cardinals that were flying by and the rabbits that were jumping over.

And, you know, the butterflies or I was, and then listening to the woodpecker, you know. And I'm like, this is so much where I want to be when I'm in the woods like that. I just want to listen to the, I want to listen to what's going on right now. I'll share another quick experience with you that's similar. I live, now I live in Albany. And late George is about an hour and a half north. George is this gorgeous. Gorgeous.

I've been there. Beautiful. Yep. A hundred years ago, it was like the spot for New York City elites to come up and they'd camp and do all this kind of stuff. So it's like got this kind of old world but beautiful. It's a really cool place. And we rented a cabin as like a week vacation, even though it was close, you know, whatever.

And a bunch of my, she's now my ex-wife, but a bunch of her family member came in. It was a great experience. And there was a moment where at night, when you look up there, you see 10 bazillion stars because you're far enough away from any light pollution. And people, other people in the country live in these areas too. But for me in Albany, I can only see a few stars. Like there's not, it's not this star sky. And you look up and you're like, oh my God, look like it's insane on a cloudless night, what you can see. and I had this moment where I thought to myself, like, imagine, you know, 100 years ago, 200 years ago, 300 years ago, 300 years ago, 300 years ago, 300 years ago, 300 years ago, radio doesn't exist, right? You are at all moments, you have to be completely present because there's danger, right?

All over the place, everything from animals and other people. you have this vast world of sounds and noises. You have very little control over your light, your lighting situation, right? Maybe you have a campfire or whatever. You have all these inputs from everything from stars to landscape to all this kind of stuff. None of it has been really cultivated to a certain extent, unless you're in one of the few urban areas.

And like how much different their brains had to operate and how much more present, they were forced to be in every moment than we are today. You can live your entire life today, checked out from the present moment, and I think a lot of people do. I was going to say, I think a lot of people do. Yeah. Yeah, it was just, it was like, I don't know, I mean, I don't know why that came to my head, but just through our conversation, I was like, I just, I had this moment. I was like, oh my God, like, these people had to be just everything that's going on from make, you know, the campfire dies, the wolves come in, right? Like, so you're waking up in middle of night, the throw wood on the fire. I mean, there's just, they had to be present in every

moment of every day. And you think of the, the, um, determination and the, uh, creativity and all the things that they had to do to survive. And then you contrast that to today. And there is a large portion of our population that lives checked out every moment of every day for almost their entire lives. And it makes me very sad to a certain extent that that's the case. Well, because I think, again, because, you know, you become a parent and most people become a parent, there's no book on how to become a parent. I mean, there's a book on how to nine months pregnant. There's parents and books, but I read that.

None of them tell you the truth. Every kid's different. Every parent is different. And that parents bring in their experience in to this new child. and whatever they teach this new child, good or bad, that child is going to grow up and, you know, relive it. And, you know, it just recycles. And I think, yeah, because there's so much more around us,

social media, crazy, crazy. I did not grow up with it at all. They don't know how to go out in the backyard and figure out how to play a game. So I just think because of the combination of, all the stuff that we have around us. Yes, we just shut down. And, you know, we were just talking about this last night and friends, DoorDash.

Like, the city of Buffalo is full of traffic with DoorDash. My daughter does DoorDash. I'm like, why don't you just go get the groceries and cook the food? Because DoorDash can do it in a second. So, like, everything is instant gratification. And then you can, you know, you don't have to pay attention to the now. Versus like you just said, you got to keep the fire of it. You got to watch for the dangerous animals.

You've got to get the food. You're not going to a grocery store back then. Yeah. Can't call DoorDash. So, yeah, you want to feed your family. They lived in the present. Yeah. We saw opposite.

Last anecdote on this topic. And then I have one more question that I want to ask you. This has been tremendous. I'm reading this book now. I'm kind of a big reader. It's called First Principles, and it outlines the first four presidents of the U.S. And not necessarily,

it doesn't talk necessarily about them specifically, although it does. It's more about what was influencing them to become the people they were. So it's a really good book. I highly recommend it. I think the author's last name is Ricks. I forget his first name,

but it's first principles in the name of the book. But in there, to your point, They have this anecdote where one of the early, like, performance reports for George Washington when he was still fighting with the British before the Revolutionary War was that he had the capacity to continue with adequate performance during long periods of hunger. Oh, so like you think about that. Like, these guys are traveling, you know, to deliver a message to the French in some outpost, and they got to travel for a month to get there. And one of the like, I mean, imagine today, like the, you get your performance evaluation from your boss.

And one of them is can perform adequately over long periods of hunger. Like they wouldn't eat for days. And some people could handle it. Some people couldn't. And I just found that, like, astounding that, like, part of his performance evaluation was his ability to continue doing his job despite probably days of hunger at that point. Yeah. And I just think, you know, we're so discontalienable. connected from that.

Yeah, totally disconnected. We wouldn't, I don't think we'd survive. No. So, okay, so this has been absolutely phenomenal, and I appreciate you. I have one final question, and really this is maybe, we'll end on more of a uplifting note to a certain extent. You know, so many aspiring musicians out there, you've had multiple decades long career spanning multiple different genres.

I've been in Nashville. You've done all these gigs. You've done all these things, created your own album. multiple times and now the most recent one it's my time if i'm if i'm an inspiring musician and i'm struggling with the automated beats and the this and i'm worried about AI music and all this kind of stuff what if if i was your mentee like what would be your advice to me and finding my unique style my unique voice the the thing that's going to like pull the best out of me how do i how do i work towards that. You know, I always thought that was kind of simple to answer, but it's really about

knowing yourself. It's about loving yourself, like we talked about in the beginning. It's about knowing who you are, staying grounded with who you are, and where your passion is. So if you're trying to imitate someone else, because you don't know who you are, the music's going to come out that way. if you're trying to impress someone because that's what they want to hear. My best music, and I'm still working on it, and I will work on it to the day I die, is always something that just comes from my heart.

Whatever's coming from my heart, people are feeling it. And if you can't find that authentic self in your own mind and in your desires and your talent, it's not going to come out that way. So that's the bottom line is they just have to figure out who they are, what they want,

and strive for that, no matter how many distractions they're coming in the way because they will end rejections. And the music is so full of, it's subjective, it's so full of rejections. And if you're not counting on the validations from these people. And if you're just giving of yourself,

you just keep doing it. And you just keep doing it. Until the day that you can't do it anymore. And I feel like the day you can't do it is when you're not breathing. Yeah. I love that. I mean, I'm, yes, I've been around for a while

and I'm not stopping. Because I don't know, I just, I feel like I'm growing all the time. I'm learning and more. Yeah. I say this to you. So I told you, you heard the thing. I coach my kids, 10-year-old baseball, a year-old baseball.

And I tell them all the time. And this is just like, but like so many, so many of the people that we admire are imperfect. Yet we feel early on, especially early on. And I've put sports as a creative endeavor as much as much as anything else. We look at our imperfections and we're like, oh, if, only, if only. And it's like so many of the best in anything, sports, music, art, it's the imperfections that we love. And it's like if you can love those imperfections, that's where the magic is. I don't know. It just feels. You have to love all yourself because

you're not perfect. There's no way you are. And none of us are, but they appear perfect. And before social media came out, you know, you would just see pictures in the magazines and you'd see them on TV. And they're in their most. perfect pose because cameras on. But you don't see them without their makeup. You don't see them struggling. You don't see the struggle in their own mind of what they're going through. You just see the perfection and you think, well, I'm not like that.

Now, we're all the same. We just need to, that's another podcast. I'm going to listen to yours, changing the negative thought. So, and the gentleman that I listened to earlier that I told you about, he said that when the thoughts are coming in the mind you know you have to learn how to control it and so we have to um when those negative thoughts come in and it's going to happen a lot in music because you're putting yourself out there you're letting someone listen to you and they're going to give you their opinion and it could hurt but you have to know that you are being who you are and they don't like it that's fine so you

You just have to learn how to, when those thoughts come in your head, same thing. Thoughts come in? Okay, I don't, I'm not really crazy about that thought. Well, why don't we try to change that thought? Why don't we instead of, I heard this one before, because I have a lot of, I have a lot of land in the back. So I have a lot of weeds in the gardens. And I used to look at it as, oh, my God, I think we'll get all those weeds, the gardens, just so much work. and now I'm like

wait a minute I have a lot of land I'm blessed with land and once I pull those weeds out my garden's going to look so much more beauties like this is just a way and you change your thought and that's not easy

especially if you're raised with the negativity then you got to learn how to change those thoughts because you can't stop the thoughts and I did it with my own son like constantly I would I would get the thoughts of, you know, what I saw, what happened.

And finally, I had to start working on that, too. I had to say, okay, he's not there anymore. You're here on this earth reliving that thought. He's not. He's not at that place. He's not doing that. He's in a beautiful place where you're going. So let's change our thought.

That was the hardest one, to me. DeAnd Mayo, this has been phenomenal. I'm so happy that we had a chance. to spend time together. Where can people learn more about you and get the new album? Okay, so first of all, thank you. I was really looking forward to this interview,

especially after I listening to your podcast. I need to let others know about. I love what you did. I got a lot of books that what you talk about. Oh, thank you so much. I can't remember the title of it. My son actually bought for me before. I can see the red cover.

The four-letter word is on there. Oh, the subtle art of not given a fuck. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That's a great one. And I, you know, I definitely read a lot, but I also put it on audio books. So I listened to it.

Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I thank you for having me. And I'm such an honor. And my website gives most of it. So my website is d'anmusic.com, which is D-E-E-A-N-N-N-Musk.com. music.com. Awesome. And it gives all the social links.

It gives my bio and lots of videos and it'll bring you to my YouTube link. So I kind of have it all in that one package. I'm on Spotify and Apple Music and Amazon and

Amdora and all those different platforms out there. And those are under the end. It's my time. So let me just Google that. You can go. can get that too. Tremendous.

Well, guys, I'll have links in the show notes, whether you're watching on YouTube or listening, wherever you listen to podcasts, I'll have links to Deanne's website. And I hope you guys will follow along in her journey because the music is great, you're wonderful, and I appreciate the hell out of you. Oh, I appreciate you.

Thank you so much. Let's go. Yeah, make a look, make it look. Thank you for listening to the Ryan Hanley show. Be sure to subscribe and leave us a comment or review wherever you listen to podcasts. Came in a game for me. I never switched to no change in me.

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