Finding Peak w/ Ryan Hanley - From Jail to Navy SEAL: The Rituals That Forge Men Who Won’t Break | Taylor Cavanaugh

Episode Date: July 25, 2025

Spartan philosophy, built in the black-ops lab of business: https://www.findingpeak.comFinding Peak podcast: https://linktr.ee/ryan_hanleyJoin our community of fearless leaders in search of unreasonable outcomes...Want to become a FEARLESS entrepreneur and leader? Go here: https://www.findingpeak.comWatch on YouTube: https://link.ryanhanley.com/youtubeTaylor CavanaughWebsite: https://www.taylorcavanaugh.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tcavofficial/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@tcavofficialTaylor Cavanaugh’s arc is insanity: jail time, SEAL Team 7 sniper, kicked out, homeless in Hawaii with a sawed-off shotgun—then straight into the French Foreign Legion.His turnaround? Radical ownership (“It’s all my fault—and that’s freeing”), 3:30 A.M. “Hour of the Tiger” mornings, and a relentless focus on micro-wins.We break down the exact rituals that forge men who won’t break—fitness, food, faith, and frequency. If you’re stuck, soft, or slipping, this is your blueprint.Stay in the game. Don’t hang your cleats up.Episodes You Might EnjoyFrom $2 Million Loss to World-Class Entrepreneur: https://lnk.to/delkFrom One Man Shop to $200M in Revenue: https://lnk.to/tommymelloIs Psilocybin the Gateway to Self-Mastery? https://lnk.to/80upZ9Recommended Tools for GrowthOpusClip: #1 AI video clipping and editing tool: https://link.ryanhanley.com/opusRiverside: HD Podcast & Video Software | Free Recording & Editing: https://link.ryanhanley.com/riversideMagai: All-in-One AI for Professionals: https://link.ryanhanley.com/magaiTaplio • Grow Your Personal Brand On LinkedIn: https://link.ryanhanley.com/taplioKit: Email-First Operating System for Creators (formerly ConvertKit): https://link.ryanhanley.com/kit--Recommended Tools for GrowthOpusClip: #1 AI video clipping and editing tool: https://link.ryanhanley.com/opusRiverside: HD Podcast & Video Software | Free Recording & Editing: https://link.ryanhanley.com/riversideWhisperFlow: Never waste time typing on your keyboard again: https://link.ryanhanley.com/whisperflowCaptionsApp: One app for all your social media video creation: https://link.ryanhanley.com/captionsappGoHighLevel: It's time to take your business workflow to the Next Level: https://link.ryanhanley.com/gohighlevelPerspective.co: The #1 funnel builder for lead generation: https://link.ryanhanley.com/perspective--Episodes You Might Enjoy:From $2 Million Loss to World-Class Entrepreneur: https://lnk.to/delkFrom One Man Shop to $200M in Revenue: https://lnk.to/tommymelloIs Psilocybin the Gateway to Self-Mastery? https://lnk.to/80upZ9This show is part of the Unplugged Studios Network — the infrastructure layer for serious creators. 👉 Learn more at https://unpluggedstudios.fm.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Two hours ago, Kyle arrived at the bar. Hey, what's everyone drinking? 30 minutes ago, Kyle got his friends another round of drinks. Cheers! Five minutes ago, Kyle decided to drive home drunk. A minute ago, a law enforcement officer pulled up behind Kyle. Sir, have you been drinking tonight? A chain of events that began two hours ago is about to change Kyle's whole world.

Drive sober or get pulled over, paid for by Netsa. from being able to be present in the current moment. You can't be present unless you're proud of your presence because you're insecurity. The guy who's walking into a restaurant, right, with his wife or whatever, and he's picking his shirt out of his fat rolls is not present because he's thinking about how other people are perceiving him. A confident man who feels powerful, knows he looks good,

or is proud of how he looks, is present. When he's communicating with people, he's not thinking about how he's being perceived, It's a different energy. And really what we're talking about is frequency, the clarity of confidence. You say you need to unlearn years of incorrect programming. Absolutely. I would love for you to start with.

How do you become aware that you have incorrect programming? Yeah. Results. Poor results. I'd say here's the best way to look at it. Look around at your life. If it's not the way you want it, what how you what you what you think you know is fucking not right definitely how you're executing it

it's results is your life the way you want it to be if it's not then you got to unlearn some shit and learn some new shit because it's not there dude so i love that you said that um my next question is is because this this is something i struggle with right so when i'm coaching entrepreneurs or whatever, which is a lot of what I do. I call, like, my system, reality OS, right? Reality operating system. Like, operate with the fucking game that's in front of you, not what you think should happen or what you hope happens if the moon is in the sign of the Aquarius.

Like, it's laid out in front of you, right? Like, you have to play this game. And I really like that you said that results are how you become aware. Why do you think so many people are. able to or like they're not getting the results they want right it's smacking them clear in the face they're either overweight or they got a shitty relationship with their spouse or their kids or they're not in a career they want whatever yet they'll continue plowing down the same road over and over and over again why do we allow that to happen why doesn't it hit everybody

where they go shit this isn't what i want i need to try something different honesty hurts honestly hurts nobody wants to admit that their life is fucked up and what they're doing is wrong nobody wants to be wrong in their heart especially in how they think they understand the world it's about as deep a cut as you could possibly get and so it's the authenticity it's that first of all self awareness takes a level of intelligence that is required right i always i always relate intelligence to awareness. Self-awareness, environmental awareness. I don't consider somebody very intelligent if they don't have either one of those. You might be able to read a book and remember some shit, but I don't really count that as intelligent. So that self-awareness piece, to be self-aware,

you have to be honest. And that takes a level of internal work and some pain and some usually external frictions that you're aware of to really kind of force yourself internal to ask yourself these questions and you you bring up a good point of why people keep plowing down the same road also change is difficult because you have to actually start rewiring your brain and your muscle patterns and your pathways your thought pathways and your action pathways it's a lot of things to unravel it's quite often when you're getting up how you're eating how you communicate, how you interpret the world and move through it, self-talk. So many things are involved in making major change.

And so they'll just keep going because we're biologically wired to stay with what we know. It's beyond the horizon, beyond the mountains, who knows what's over there, right? Sabertooth tigers and whatever else. It's at least safe in this cave. We might not have any food and water, but this might be better than the unknown and the fear of uncertainty, right? which is I don't know what's over there. And so that's why I think people just stay rooted in their bad habit. There's two other aspects that I want to put past you

and see where you land on these as well. Because I agree with everything you said. I think there's two additional pieces. One is ego. Yeah, yeah. The idea that I'm smart, I went to college, you know, whatever, and that I could possibly be making the wrong decisions. I think that holds a lot of people back.

And then the last one, I think, is a lot of what we're saying. seeing with like some of this postmodern liberal ideology that people like you know that a man could be a woman that a woman like yeah we we we reality you know if you spend a minute in reality you know that some of these statements aren't true right and that's a more of a political one but this goes yeah and i agree yeah we we we convince ourselves that maybe it's we feel the need to be good or that we don't want to stand out or we're worried about being different and that kind holds us back as well in these patterns, right? Like if everybody else has got a dad bod,

then it's okay for me to have a dad bod because everybody's got a dad bod. So that makes it all right, right? Like, where do you fall on those two? Dude, the idea of somebody thinks that they're right because they're being good is a very slippery slope. It's where socialism and communism ends up. But it's the root of it, really. it's in this guise of

of righteousness which is fucking dangerous because it clouds people's judgment massively. Well, I'm right because of what I want is is good. Fucking yeah, dude, but can we pay for that? It's like, it's very,

it's like in the pragmatic view, right? I think pragmatism is massively important because pragmatism, once again, requires a a stripping away of ego and biasedness and a biased view, you have to see things for what they are. I saw a great quote today. There's a Phil Stitts, I think is his name.

He wrote a book called Lessons for Living. And I was kind of reading through this book today for Peace, man. And he says, he's talking about being judgmental and it having being wrapped in ego. He goes, a realist isn't judgmental. And I thought about this term and how he was saying. it was that because if you're judgmental, it's that you're judging how you think reality should be, right? You're not accepting reality on reality's terms. So you're judging it by how you think it should be versus just how it is. Bro, and I love that. I go, you can just sit back and see things as they are, not as they should be.

It gives you a level of clarity that you can't have any other way. So it really takes from how that's exactly right, right, wrapped up in ego. how I think the world should be. Fucking, that's pretty fucking egotistical. Yeah, I really like that idea around judgment. It's funny. The other day I was walking into or going to a meeting with a colleague. And he said, hey, don't be a dick in the media. And I was like, first of all, I didn't know that that's how we were classifying me.

I go to seven of all. Yeah. What exactly do you mean? And he's like, well, not everybody likes to hear things exactly as they are. And I kind of tilted my head at him for a second. And I understood what he meant. You know, I wasn't, and it wasn't appropriate to push it at that time. You know, I got what he meant.

You know what I mean? Like dial it down a little where necessary. Okay, got it. But I kind of went to him afterwards. And I said, you know, man, meeting went fine or whatever. And I'm like, hey, I want you to talk to me a little bit about what you said before we went in. And he goes, well, you know,

it's not that I don't think you're a dick or whatever. He's like, but he's like, you tend to kind of just call things on their, you know, as, as they are. And not everybody likes that. And I, and I, he goes, a lot of people, he goes, some people can feel judged by that. Yeah. And it was a really interesting comment because like, I, I have found myself, like, saying to people, like, here's what I see.

I'm not judging that this is what you decided to do. But this is what's happening. because of what you did, right? Yeah. And it hit me that, like, a lot of people don't view the world that way. Like, it's judge, judge, judge, judge, there. And their comments come out of judgments where if you try to live just with what it is, it's like, he's got a backwards hat on, he's got tattoos, he's got a plant next.

Like, I'm not judging that you chose to wear the hat or have a plant behind you. It's just what's happening. You know what I mean? Like, that piece of. of our society, I feel like is something that the last 20 years or so, has we've lost so much of that. I feel like when I was growing up, my dad could just be like, that swing you just took sucked.

And I'd be like, yeah, yeah, it did. Yeah, well, see, that wasn't my best. Yeah, yeah, that sucked. Yeah, I didn't do my best on that one. Now you say that to a kid, he's going to have a full emotional breakdown. And his mom's going to jump the fence and shove a Xanax in his face because he can't handle. hearing that what he did was wrong.

And that to me feels like so many of the problems. Like I look at the work you do and researching everything that you're into. Like, like, it's almost as if people, if everyone just kind of lived in reality, they wouldn't even need guys like us. Like, we wouldn't have jobs because, but there's like needs to be someone out there who can see it and tell it. So when you, when you have people coming to you and they're struggling to connect, how do you, how do you get them back?

to getting these two levels of awareness that you brought up, which I really love. Self-awareness and environmental awareness. How do you begin teaching that to people? So I'm going to add a little layer of texture to what you said because I think it was important is in that understanding of reality, we also have to understand how other people interpret our information. And so I always say, right, we can say it because it's true,

but is it the most artistic and diplomatic way? Because really, what's the point of communication to get done what we're trying to get done, to convey the message? If it's clouded by how they feel some type of way, whether it be wrong or right, and you and I both lie on the same point of that as people need to get thicker skin, which I'm going to hit on in a minute, is now they're shutting down and they're not listening to the actual message, right? So there's like that, there's that nice balance.

There's the artistry in the communication, which I think. is important. And that's part of this environmental awareness, right? Being self-aware enough to know we can't come across crass and be environmentally aware enough to know how these people might interpret the information. So it's like there's this even balance now going into what you were speaking about specifically. There's really two two roots of psychosis, what things you're dealing with now, the anxiety, the depressions and all. It's pain avoidance and comfort seeking. pain avoidance right people don't want to hear honesty they don't want to hear truth they also in their daily lives

seek seek to find pleasure and immediate gratification and all these things and all these things turn us into fucking cupcakes they turn kids into cupcakes dude we when we i'm not sure i'm probably a little bit older than you but we probably come from a similar dude we're outside the holidays are here and that means it's the most wonderful time of the year to save with rackettins Use Racketon to stack cash back from your favorite stores on top of holiday sales. That's savings on savings.

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Just go to rackaton.com. Download the app or install the browser extension. That's R-A-K-U-T-E-N. Terms and conditions apply. Riding bikes, building ramps, crashing, right? Like, that's what they were doing. Have you looked around a lot of neighborhoods. If you've been driving around, you don't see any kids outside, man. You don't see kids outside. They're not playing outside. I don't see kids building ramps and shit. They're inside watching screens. And I know this is hit on a lot, but also how the parents are communicating. I'm not saying you've got to beat your kids, but you can be harsh on your kids. I think it's needed. Right. And they're not outside hurting themselves, crashing all these things. And so when they grow up, now you spoke to them too aggressively, right? Now they can't.

hear the message in just the very clear. So now there's all this, this padding corporately, which we see, HR departments, how many people are getting called in because they said a bad joke. It's inefficient in massive capacities, inefficiencies everywhere. And it really boils doubt to people are not striving to do the hard thing, not getting up early, not working out, not eating correctly, whether it doesn't, they don't like because of how it tastes. Right. It's like small things like that, which really, over a lifetime, turn somebody into a Michelin Man Cupcake or somebody, you know, somebody of substantial constitution. To me, this is something I've really struggled with.

So I'm probably older than you think. I'm 44. You look great, man. What you do is working. At least I figured a couple things out. No, and it's probably all the same shit that you do. The difference is I didn't go through war. That's one part.

So that's a big part of it. I almost did. I got recruited by the Navy and decided to play baseball instead of joining the Navy, which that decision we could toss up. But all that being said, one of the things that I really struggle with is like, so I came from tiny little town, 900 people in the middle of note, where at 12 years old, I vividly remember, like, walking around my town going, like, I have to get the fuck out of here.

Like, this can be my life, right? Like, every male role model in my life is either an alcoholic or, you know, into drugs or, you know, life's going nowhere. And I'm looking around going, you know, for whatever reason, blessed by God, whatever you want to call it, I had this thought. I got to get out of here. So that was like my life's going to get out. But in getting out, they did do a lot of, like, hard shit.

I had to eat shit in different scenarios. I had to, you know, get my fucking dick knocked in a dirt multiple times, whether it was sports or, you know, trying to, you know, coming from a tiny town and going to a big school, all these different things. Okay. No, like, family backing. I didn't come from money.

My parents weren't getting me a job, you know, everything. Okay. So now you come up against people and, and now I'm in a corporate environment, say, 15, 20 years ago. Yeah. And I'm like this head down, What do you need to do? And you're coming up against these other people that are like,

and they look at me and I get labeled as intense. I get labeled as all these different things. Okay. And I have never been able to calibrate. Why do you not want to be intense? Like I get that I get that there's a certain level of intensity that isn't always appropriate. I'm not saying like, you know,

but I'm saying like that driven desire to get better. Yeah. How do you, how does someone, because a lot of the people that listen to this show are like me and you, dude, like they don't. People don't continue to listen to this show if they're just kind of like limping by or they don't want to get better. Yeah. How does someone who has that mentality, how do they integrate into our world when we are surrounded by so many people who just simply don't understand the desire to constantly get better?

This is a question I get a lot and I'm very interested in your take on it. Yeah. How do I be me? Not me specifically, but this individual who's ambitious, intense, driven, committed, maybe a little crap. maybe a little swinging conservative my views, probably believe in some form religion, God, Christian, whatever. How do I integrate with this like secular kind of like door dashed society

and actually integrate and do well and not piss every fucking person around us off? Yeah, I would say accurately navigate, don't integrate. Because integration, integration is becoming, it becoming part of. I have zero interest in becoming part of this and like people that just don't think like we do. It's because there's a nature and a nurture piece, right? You have the nature paired with the nurture as far as environmental, right?

But, you know, you were put in a situation. You had to become, you also potentially had a god seat of ambition planted in you. So don't ever, don't anybody dull your shot, right? And I get the kind of the chills because society is, hey, man, fit in. Just don't burn too bright. Don't, don't make somebody else feel some type of way because you're willing to do, get there earlier and work harder, be more intense. Now, bring it down a little bit.

Bring it down to their level. So we, everybody can play at the same level. Nah, man, it's a gift. It's an absolute gift from God. And so it's, it's, but we have to accurately navigate. We can't ruffle too many feathers. There's a strategy to it. And so it's like be smart enough to accurately do it and say, but don't ever seek to integrate.

I'm sure there's parts of times in my life where I thought that that was probably the thing to do. And then I realized that that's not what set me apart, though, quite the opposite, right? It's the fact that I, different that made, that allowed, gave me the edge, gives us the edge and people listening. The edge is the intensity. You can't, they say this in the SEAL teams, bro. can't teach aggression. Can't teach it. You're born with it or you don't have it.

But you can train it. You need somebody aggressive and then hone it. You don't want to have to mush somebody. That can't be taught. And so I'd rather be that aggressive and that intensity and then brain it in and hone it. So it's like a laser beam rather than, you know, oh, well, I guess I'll just kind of dull it a little bit and work like Fred next to me. that, you know, what Leighton does the 9 to 5, punches out and, you know, splits his pitcher.

Like, no. Not doing that. Yeah. I, one of the biggest awakenings for me was the first time I ever had an executive position, maybe 12, 13 years ago. And I had some team members who were ambitious, aggressive, hard charging. And then I had team members who were just show up. They did their job. They did their job.

But once their job was done, lights switch went off. they were, you know, kind of in coast mode. And it was a, it was, it, I was talking to a mentor about it. And, you know, I'm like, I don't understand. I want to raise these people up, but, but, but, and he goes, dude, not everybody wants that. Like, there's, there's a lot of people out there that they punch the clock so they can live after, right?

And that's what they want. Or they just simply don't ever want to experience hard. Like I, I always thought, like, maybe people didn't understand that they were capable or, you know, and he was really clear to me that like, he's like, there are some people. And I, and I, unfortunately, I think our society is telling more and more people this mentality is okay that I think there are some people that just simply do not desire hard. They look at us being fit. They look at us talking about ambition, growing companies, you know, making real change.

And they're just like, yeah, I don't want any of that. Yeah. Not interested. And that was like a really hard thing for me to wrap my head. head around. And I think it is for a lot of people where they're like, I don't understand, like, I'm trying to pull you along. Why don't you want to come? Like I don't, I don't get it. And it's a really hard thing for leaders, I think. And to your point, I think, especially from a leadership perspective, there's this idea of like, you know, you want, you know, everybody

needs to be treated equal in an organization, right? Yeah. And when I'm coaching a leader or a founder or whatever, I tell, I think that's completely wrong. I think there should be bated bands inside your company, ABC players, right? And they don't all get the same benefits, schmuggies. They don't all get the same treatment, you know?

Like a high performer, if you try to, if you try to manage a high performer, like you manage your B or C players, that high performer is going to leave. Like they don't want any part of that. They want it. That's a little special treatment. Yeah, it's very interesting.

So, okay. I actually now, want to pivot back and go into your story a little bit because you have a fucking awesome, just crazy story. So maybe, you know, obviously, I'm not a very good podcast host because usually you start at the beginning, but I don't like doing that. I like this flow way better. Yeah, I'd like to go back now and give people a little bit of the bones of where you

develop your mentality. Dude, by the way, this, this quote, accurately navigate don't integrate is fucking brilliant. Like, thanks, man. I want, I want to, I want to give. people the bedrock of where you came out of this mentality and what kind of sculpted you into this person who lives the life that you live today. Yeah, man, I appreciate that. That's, well, I appreciate you for kind of painting the scene for that because I hadn't really thought

about that, you know, quite the difference. There is absolutely a difference of integration and actually but us being able to to move through this place in a professional way and successfully, more importantly. Right. So yeah, man, the 30,000 foot overview. Yeah, decent childhood, sports. had some trouble in my youth. It was difficult to get into the military just from legal perspective and some tattoos and things, but I had to go to jail after college to kind of clean up some stuff.

But I got into the Navy, went through SEAL training. Was that SEAL Team 7, sniper, JTAC, Advent-Laden specialists, which was like low-profile, low visibility operations, deployed Iraq, Yemen, had some legal troubles in the SEAL teams that ended up kind of culminating after about seven years I was there.

Had to go back to jail, do some time. I got kicked out for performance-enhancing drugs technically, right? That's what I got kicked out for, zero tolerance from the Navy perspective. The SEAL teams tried to protect me, but once big Navy Jag wants your ass, you're toast, man. And got into the civilian world, free and clear, right? I took a general discharge and started in residential real estate development. We had a lot of successful year, you know, 19 million in gross sales and was learning, drinking from a fire hose.

Did a lot, did a, had an opportunity when cannabis became legal. We started a cannabis distribution company. So doing all those pieces. But during that time, I really built a lot of bad habits. I had no governor on now. And I really hadn't addressed the self-worth issue, right? And that's really, I was doing these things, Band-Aid. CEO, fucking Navy SEAL, like all these things put a Band-Aid on me, but I was taking Adderall every day.

X, alcohol, weed, still performing. That's how I could lie to myself. I got the house by the beach and the girlfriend, I'm like, nobody can tell me shit, right? Ego, 1,000 percent. And I lacked self-awareness on a massive scale. I wasn't seeing it from the perspective of speedwobles, right? You know, the relationship starts to get choppy. You know, you're missing meetings now that you weren't missing.

It's like, and I snacked on an opiate and a fentanyl habit at the end of here, right? So I'm doing all these things daily. and but still performing raising capital pitching decks for millions of dollars doing all these things working in a high rise for a venture capitalist but all came crashing down as as it does when you try to juggle this many balls of fire and I find myself in in Hawaii homeless in my truck waiting for that call you know the next the next opportunity that it always kind of came and it didn't come and so I'm there look at my bank account got six bucks have a sudden lot off shotgun next to me. This was about two years and some change until the time I had gotten

out of the Navy to this point. So a lot happened pretty quickly. And I realized I was just purposeless. I had no, no money now, no title, no nothing. I was completely isolated, like native, just like in the jungle. Thinking about, you know, killing myself. And luckily God spoke to me had a moment of clarity, which was like, hey, is that the legacy you're going to leave? I thought about my mom, my sister, all these decisions all this reality is your fault that finally could i finally got honest and i go oh all this it's not anybody else it's all these decisions were mine that brought me to this reality and that was actually very freeing so i was like all right well i'm not going to do that by my own hand but if i'm going to you know if i'm going to die anyway then i'm at least do it in an honorable way with

my boots on and i had known about the foreign legion for some years now and i decided i was going to pick my pen back up and write an amazing story. I'd never heard of a Navy SEAL going on the French Foreign Legion. And so eight days later, pretty much, or a week in some change, I was in France knocking on the door and spent about a half decade in the French Foreign Legion to point to South America, doing stuff with NATO on the Russian border and internal domestic missions of France. And yeah, and then got out. And that was about, I've only been home for about 18 months. I got back in the United States about 18 months ago. But that was really the path of about 11 and a half, 12 years through that process in the military and of the path of a lot of lessons learned the hard way.

It's really, it was in the Foreign Legion that I really started to develop the importance of ownership, frequency management, right? that I really started to understand the power of daily habits and, and, and, and, and clear morality and choices, right? And decisions, I should say. And that's, that's really what I, I walk with today. You said something. You said, when it's all your fall, it's freeing. Can you, can you break that down a little more for us?

Yeah. I felt this weight lift off me when I realized that all the, everything that had happened was because of all these small decisions I made. all these small decisions, the money I spent, the this to that, whether I had been wronged in business or right, it didn't matter. I went into business with the person. It's my fault. So I was like, look. And, you know, if somebody steals from you in your business, you hired them.

Right. And so by that point, we reempowered because anything external of us were giving power away to, whether it be, oh, my ex-wife did this and so that's why I'm in this situation. You married her, man. right and so it's like so pick better next time it's it's small things that we just go oh if it's all my fault then i have all the power to fix it that was really that was really because it's what's more important is how we fix it how do we correct the ship so when i went oh i'm going to grab control by life it's nobody else's fault so therefore it's all my fault it's all my responsibility to fix it then i just move forward with that and a lot of things started to clear

up, it also simplifies everything. And if it's all, you're not worried about what any, but what other inputs are. And it also just makes you a lot more aware of who you engage with. Because if it's your fault, then be careful. I think that that is some of the best advice that you, we can give anybody at any age. Dude, it's funny. You're talking and remove the military part and a lot and I haven't been to jail yet. Yeah.

You know, there's, there's a lot of similarities in the struggle to the, to the, all your fault. Mine was looked more like my inability to prop, to accurately navigate through, through, corporate scenarios got me fired from three consecutive jobs. Yeah. You like to shake the tree, that. Yeah. Executive position fired. Executive position fired.

Executive position fired. Yeah. Three times in a row. And I'm going, what the fuck? Egotistical, you know, CEOs and it's this and they don't understand me. And I had a similar clarity moment that I can only say came to me through, through, through God or divine inspiration. Because the other thing, I was like, I chose to take that job.

I've chose to work for three insecure CEOs. I chose, you know, to be in these positions. And yeah. And it's amazing. And I'm just, I'm just doubling into your point. It's 100% accurate that when you, it sucks. Because now you're looking in the mirror going, I'm the one that did that. this to me. I'm the one that put me in this position. But to your point, man, when you can embrace

that, all of a sudden you're like, yeah, but I also now can do whatever I want, like, I get to choose what I want to do. Yeah, who do I want to be? Do I want to be, you know, what kind of dad do I want to be? What kind of partner slash spouse do I want to be? What, you know, who, what kind of leader do I want to be? What, you know, what kind of change do I want? And you can actually control those. It's hard as shit. It's way harder than just blaming people, right? That's the easy path. That easy path, yeah. But you also, this is the other thing that I find really interesting.

And I'm interested in how you, how you deal with this. So I had somebody one time telling me, actually it was my ex-wife, specifically. She said, you, she's like, why don't you just level out a little bit is what she said, right? Yeah. She's like, you ride every high and every low and you ride them. And I was like, yeah, I do. And she said, well, yeah, wouldn't your life be easier if you just, played more in the middle.

And I was like, I think she's right. It would be easier. Except you don't get to experience the high highs. Yeah. If you're not also willing to experience the low lows. If you play it even, it's not like you get to play it even and you just get the highs.

That's not the way that it works. It's like the amplitude of your high have to understand, you know, you got to be willing to accept that that's an equal amplitude. Yeah. go low. Yeah. You know, how do you ride those waves?

So when you're, now you're in a great place, right? You have a much better framework. You're teaching other people how to live a good, you know, successful life. You're training people through your programs and stuff that you have. How do you manage now as a healthier individual emotionally and mentally when you have that great day and then comes the bad day? Yeah.

How do you keep yourself? Here's the question. How do you keep yourself from falling back into the old patterns that got you in trouble today? Yeah. Yeah, that's a really good question. So now the stakes are raised, right? I'm engaged. I have a baby.

You know, purses a beautiful house, you know. And it's, so now the stakes are raised, right? We have the, you know, great business day. And we have the bad one. And now I'm starting to find, but nothing changed. I still keep the exact same morning process as I did in the French, Foreign Legion barracks, we're making $1,500 a month in the cold ass, you know, barracks in France, as I do now in my house on the golf course, the gated community, and the master bath at 3.30 in the

morning. That's right. Four in the morning. Every day. Don't miss a day. It doesn't matter if it's a day off. It's a day on. It's a bad day.

It's a good day. Every fucking day. I do it because it's like my root. It's a little prayer, a little gratitude, little movement, little centering yourself, a little visualization. 20 minutes, right? Nothing crazy. Not some two-hour biohacking bullshit.

It's something simple. that's what keeps me grounded as far as keeping the momentum and the framework, right, of I don't care. I'm not changing what I do if it's a bad day or a good day. Also in business. If I have a really bomb-ass day or a really shot bet, nothing changes in my day. I do nothing different. It's all the same. I don't adjust.

I don't change. I've been doing that for almost two years now. And it's worked great because I don't adjust for the market. I don't, no, I'm just, I know what works. And I know what I think in my heart is clear. So that helps me. And habits, too, vices, right? It's letting myself feel the low.

That was something that I fucked up before and I really followed is I did not like, that's that pain avoidance, right? I get the chills when I think about it. I was emotionally in a bad place before and so I started taking opiates. It wasn't like because I got in a car accident. I liked how they made me feel. And so they kind of numbed it and it was kind of like an antidepressant. So I was taking them.

And I felt better. It's because I didn't want to feel the pain. The emotional pain of having lost to steal teams or lost the girlfriend or whatever it was. Now I just, I don't reach for the drink. I don't reach for this. My daily habits are good and clear. And I'm like, look, if it's a bad day, I'm going to feel it. I'm not going to die.

I'll be all right. But at least it's the pain that teaches you something. The good days you don't learn shit. We all know we don't learn shit from the winds. That's the truth. Maybe what to do a little bit. really we learn from the losses so we got to if we don't feel those losses all those lessons go away yeah all the lessons go away and so and also here's the other piece that i that i that i and i'll

kind of turn over to you on this one is the celebration the celebratory self-sabotage is what i would when i was feeling good oh let's ride it out and do this or that and kind of and i would self-sabotage on the highs so now i'm not feeling the lows i'm sabotaging on the highs so I'm fucking myself from both angles. And so I was like, look, I'm not going to celebrate massively on the highs and I'm not going to try to drown myself on the lows. I'm just going to feel both.

What do they feel like and just try not and maintain my battle rhythm? Nice in the middle. Do we click on so many levels on these things? So I get a lot of guys that reach out to me that are going through divorce because I got divorced three years ago. Oh, yeah.

And, you know, I had a lot of people go, geez, you seemingly navigated that really well. Yeah. Okay. And blessed in so much as my ex-wife and I weren't necessarily meant to be together. We're very different people, but we also don't hate each other. Yeah, reasonable. Thank God for that, right?

Because there are situations that are far worse. That being said, this idea of experiencing the low, of allowing yourself to go down that path and fill that pain, I think is so foreign to so many people and also not talked about enough. Like I absolutely love that you brought that up. Like I got chills when you said that because I was like, one of my biggest pieces of advice

that I give to people who contact me for whatever reason about some shitty thing is always like let it, if you don't let it pass through you, it doesn't go away. You're just, you're like putting it on pause. It's like you're saving pain. And that thing stacks and stacks.

I got the chills when he said that. That's like, well, right? And then all of a sudden, you're not just getting divorce pain. You're getting lost my job pain, divorce pain, you know, out of shape pain. Whatever pains you have, they all just come crashing in if you don't. But if you let them go through you and you experience it in the moment and forever, you know, one, you get past it so much quicker, right? Yeah.

You go from it being months or years of your life to maybe days or even hours. And two, it doesn't stack. You don't have this like ticking time bomb of pain waiting to dump on you, which, you know, is when you go down the path, you start picking up the drugs or whatever your, whatever your vice of choices. And man, nobody talks about that. Like, I never hear anybody talk about that topic. And I'm so glad you brought that up.

And for those, for you guys listening, like, this can even be little things like, like a key employee leaves or a customer that you've had for years. decides they're going to go with somebody else and that hurt. Even those things that aren't necessarily like life changing. Yeah. Like if you just block it, it again, it stacks and stacks. And then you go home and you spout off at your kids for no reason. And you don't even understand why you're yelling at them.

And it's because you didn't allow yourself that pain. Yeah. You're going to experience it eventually. And man, I love that you brought that up. Dude, nobody, nobody talks about that. Nobody. The man's getting paid. The man's getting paid.

Dude, if you delay pain, consider it a loan deferred and you're going to pay for it with interest. Yeah. It's coming back, man. So you better start paying that interest down, that paying that principal down. Just pay it off. Let it feel it. Let it. It's okay to sit with something.

Quite literally. Sit with it. I agree. So my morning routine involves like to, I like to ingest ideas and write. So those are my two big things. I like that. I tend to be an afternoon. exercise for whatever reason just to where my bio works.

I'm similar. Yeah, in the mornings, I tend to be more like, I do like to cold plunge. I do like to do that, like as a biohack thing. You're a better man than I. I do it because I hate it so much. Like, people are like, I can't believe you cold plunge. It's right there. I'm like, I do it because I hate it because every morning I stare at that tank and I'm,

and I don't want to get in every morning. I've been doing it for years. Every morning I still don't want to get in. Okay, pass that. So a lot of guys listen to the show, and I know a lot of them get stuck on where to start this journey. They want to get better. Maybe they're doing a few things good,

but they know they have more inside them. But they're not sure where to start. I get that question. Where do I start? Someone comes to you. They honestly, honestly want to get better, but they don't know where to start. How do you, you know, again, this is generalized.

So take it right. But how do you get them going? How do you get them started down the path? First thing I do is I ask them their schedule. What's your schedule? And immediately almost 99% of people I go get up earlier, a lot earlier. Not like, you know, let him get him at 6 or 5. No, get up at 3.30.

Set it early. Why? Because it sucks. It sucks. And there's no magic there, but there is. The samurai called 3.30 the morning hour of the tiger, right? A man is most aligned with his purpose at 3.30 in the morning. It's a very powerful time.

Also, they call it God's hours in the morning. There's less friction in the air. Three to four, five, six in the morning. There's very powerful. There's an energy in the error at that time. And also, I think you can receive very clear downloads. Also, for the simple fact that most of the time, most people in your house aren't up yet. Men need time to sit and think.

You're not strategizing when you're driving in the car and there's something that's honking and you're in the day. It's just too much shit going on. Sitting with your thoughts. I always tell them no phone, no email, no news, be deliberate about not being reactive in the morning, a deliberate morning process. Not watching the news, drinking your coffee, but sitting with thought, some gratitude, some prayer, whatever, stoke philosophy, something to bump the frequency up, a little movement, little visualization. I always say start there because then that gets you momentum. Say they already already doing something like that, right? Say they already doing something like that.

Then I immediately move into the body, the fitness. Because these are the easy buttons. How are you eating? almost always somebody's diet can be tightened up. I have them start tracking their macro nutrients, right? Why? They go, well, I hate tracking macros. Good. Then you should fucking do it. Did you know that driving under the influence of marijuana is illegal?

That's right. Driving high could get you a DUI. And if you're wondering if law enforcement can tell when you're driving high, well, everyone else in your life can, your friends can. Your coworkers can tell. Even your parents can tell. So what makes you think law enforcement can't tell. Well, they can. If you feel different, you drive different. Drive high, get a DUI,

paid for by NHTSA. Right, because it sucks. And it's easy once you start doing it. We get them a little bit tighter, slight caloric deficit up earlier. Now they're starting to grab hold and being very delivered about their day. And the momentum just picks up from there to the goal setting to the other pieces, the more important ones, the relationships and all about those pieces. How you, so, in not in a vain way, but I've found that how you feel when you look at yourself in the mirror play such a physically how you look.

Play such a huge role in not just men, women as well, but I think particularly for how men engage with the world, right? When you like wake up and you can see like a little cut on your arm, maybe you got a little V cut, maybe a, maybe an abs, an abs, popping through and you're like, oh, like, shit. Like, I'm in my 40s and I look, you know, I look all right.

Like I'm doing. Yeah. You want more, right? And now you're like, oh, if I can look good, wait, now my wife, you know, now she wants to have sex with me. I don't know how to want her down and hope I get 15 minutes on a random Thursday. You know what I mean? Like she's actually kind of and people respond to me differently.

They want to, they want to be around me more, right? Like, yeah. But we. why do you think so many people avoid the physical side? Like they, everybody wants to go to, to some meditation thing or the secret book that gives you all the answers to, and it's like if you're,

if you feel like a slob, and that could be relative to however you look, if you feel like a slob, it doesn't matter how many meditative retreats you go on. Yeah. You're still going to look at yourself in the mirror and feel bad. So why do you think it is we struggle to focus on our physicality and beyond like macros and stuff,

how do you get guys motivated into? Like, what are some easy wins guys can do to start to sculpt their body? Maybe if they're not a big gym guy. Yeah. Man, that's a really important point. So what do they teach you at all these meditation retreats, right? Being present.

Be present. And I do think a lot of peace comes from being able to be present in the current moment. You can't be present unless you're proud of your presence. Because your insecurity, the guy who's walking into a restaurant, right, with his wife or whatever, and he's picking his shirt out of his fat rolls is not present because he's thinking about how other people are perceiving him. A confident man who feels powerful knows he looks good or is proud of how he looks is present. He's looking at when he's communicating with people.

He's not thinking about how he's being perceived. It's a different energy. And really what we're talking about is frequency. the clarity of confidence, the clarity of feeling good in your skin, man. Also, in a religious way, people will dive into religion, but completely in gluttony. How does that make sense? Show up at the pearly gates with a bag of trash hat hanging from your front, dude. You're like, hey, I'm here.

No, man, you miss the mark, right? You're missing a major piece to tap into a God frequency. Why do you think they talk about fasting so much in all these religions? Caloric deficit is massively important, right? So you're not in this caloric surplus all the time. So I digress as far as that. It's massively important. And why people don't do it, it's fucking uncomfortable.

Hard. And it also, it's ego. Ego wants results fast. It needs results fast, so it's fed. Real change takes a long time. For someone to totally recomposition their body, if they're way out of shape, could take years. So you have to be okay with the increment.

micro win. And that's, that's a lot of what I teach people is staying in the game and being, and understanding what a micro win is, right? And being, and understanding that it's the path, it's the journey and not the destination, quite that, that old adage. It's so very true. It's like feeling good about, I do these things because it makes me feel good, not because of the results it gets me. And then what if you fall in love with the result of with the path, next thing, you know, you got to ask. What do you know? Right. And that guy's going to win every time. So how do I get people to kind of get change? It's a massage thing.

First, I figure out what they're eating. And I don't like telling them what to eat, which is why macronucinents are very helpful. Because if you thought, I could tell anybody, eat this broccoli and this chicken and fucking do this for the rest of your life. Yeah, but who's going to do that? It's no understanding what the answers to the test so you know how to bend them. That's why macros are important. When you understand, oh man, no wonder you're not getting gains.

This has a ton of fat in it. Right. It just, are you always going to measure your food and shit? Fuck no. But you can do a lot in a few months or six months or a year and know how to have intuitively eat for the rest of your life. And so that's a massively important part. And you don't need to go to the gym.

A lot of guys I work with don't go to the gym. I get them walking, move it. I go movement minded is it. A lot I have, I work guys who hate the gym. I go good. Don't go to the gym. You do some light calisthenics in your house. You do some light calisthenics and move 10,000 steps a day or get your,

walks in with your family or incorporate your family and doing stuff outside and you eat well, you're going to be in good shape. You do that for long enough. You don't need to be a bodybuilder. Most of the guys who I work with don't have a desire for that. They just want to look better and feel better. And so I go, all right, well, let's start doing that. Let's start moving more and eating less.

For the most part, that's the start. Guys, if you're in a place, pause right now. I want to you to go back to this idea that Taylor just shared. which I think it just encapsulates so much of everything you've said and so much we've talked about today. You can't be present if you're not happy with your presence. Yeah. Think about it.

Like that, that is such an idea. I mean, that is so freaking powerful. Yeah. Because I, we are, this idea of being present is a superpower. I think a lot of people, a lot of people don't focus on it. But those who do oftentimes struggle to be present, right? That's the next thing you hear. Like, I know I need to be present, but I struggle with.

And it's like, because, exactly what you just said, dude. You're not, you might be trying to be present, but the same time you're going, can she tell that I got a roll down here? Yeah. Does he, you know, my hair lines receding and I'm, I haven't dealt with that yet or whatever,

you know, I'm, you know, whatever your issue is, right? If you're unhappy or, geez, you got some, some skeletons in your closet, you're cheating on your spouse or some shit. Well said. That shit fucking eats on you. And you, I, dude, that is such a powerful quote. it is unbelievable. Like I love that so much.

That is, it really defines why we can't get into the present moment, why we can't be there, why your wife is trying to, your partner, whoever, your kid is trying to share their day with you and you're thinking about 17 other things.

Instead of just being in that moment for 15 minutes to let them barf their day on you because all they want you to do is understand what's going on in their world because that's connection and relationship and you can't be there. And it's like, yeah,

a that's a you issue, not your schedule. It's, you aren't happy with you. Man, dude, that's some powerful shit. You hit a point on moral clarity, Ryan. I really want to touch on because we were talking about the physical body, but the presence in moral clarity. Man, I'm getting a lot of chills on our conversation because that's really, it's, man, were you looking at weird porn all night and so you're standing there and now your energies,

your frequencies off and now you're not a little present? or you've been, you know, cheating. And so you've got the text going and now you're thinking, oh, where's my phone? It's the mind, all those are, all those is your misalignments. It's the authentic voice of God telling you, hey, man, these are the things that are, they don't need to be stressed about, just address them and fix them. That's it. When you listen to that authentic voice of God and you click these things in, you simplify

and you streamline, which is a lot of what I, what I beat the drum about is simplify and streamline. What you do, how you move. what you eat, how you think. Those things, when you click those into place, the level of clarity and inner peace and being present in the moment, that's when it hits when you're aligned. Dude, do you ever have this day understanding where you've been

and I've been similar places, different but similar, where you're like, I'm smoking pot to land the ship, I'm, you know, taking Adderall in the morning to get myself going. you know, whatever, you know, maybe watching porn to feel better for a few minutes or whatever you're, whatever, you're like, instead of optimizing my life to feel good all the time with good things, I'm optimizing these shitty things to fill the gaps in the places that I'm not optimized, right? And you're like, damn, that's what, that's a good point.

Dude, that fucking clicked for me one day where I was like, because I got into this bad habit for a while when I was going through some things where, dude, I was on the same, it was Adderall in the morning to give me going. Yeah. And it was pot at the end of the night to land the ship. That's how I justified it to land the ship. Yeah, yeah, you fly it. Right.

And I'm like, and one day I was like sitting there. And this is crazy. I'm, I'm high on a kite sitting on the couch by myself, you know, sitting there going, what the fuck am I doing? Like instead of just going to bed, getting up and working out, all feel amazing in the morning. Yeah. I'm going to be up watching.

some stupid TV high and then take Adderall in the morning to try to get myself to the place where I can function at my high. Like, what the fuck am I doing? Like, it literally hit me one day where I was like, you are optimizing the wrong things. Like, if you just optimize for the good things, you would feel good all the time. Yeah. That, and it was like, it hit me and it made so much sense. And I was like, oh my God, like, why did it take me 42 years to figure this out?

Yeah. It's crazy, like that we, if you just did the things, you know, these simple things, they don't have to be hard, right? Like the first thing I did when I was, when I was pulling my, I kind of, in 2017, I had a health scare. And that's what really started me on my, uh, my personal improvement journey, right? I was an athlete, got to about 25 was as fit as can be, playing some baseball after college, good job.

And then from 25 to say, however old I was, it was in 2017, 36, 37. Yeah. I just kind of let myself go. And I had kids and I was married and a job. Made all the excuses, right? Yeah, yeah. And I was, and then I had this health scare because I let myself go physically to the point

where like I literally passed out at a conference I was supposed to be speaking at. Damn. Yes. So, so I was like, that will never happen again. And I went on this journey. It was great.

Got myself fit, dropped 20 pounds. I felt like an absolute stud performing at my highest level. Then I had those couple bad situations where I, I got fired a few times, right? Now all of a sudden I go back into, woe is me, why is God doing this to me?

Why is God doing this to me? Why is it? Yeah, and I went back down into the cycle. And the first thing I did to pull myself out was I bought a weighted vest and I just started going for walks. Bro, genius. That's all I did.

I just started going for walks to a weighted vest. And like, it's a simple, it could be something else for someone else, but just picking that one singular thing and saying every morning, regardless of how I feel, I'm going for an hour long, weighted vest walk,

and I'm just going to go do this. And then that turned into, oh, I can come home and do a few push-ups. Yeah. And then, oh, I can do a few push-ups and do some other calc stuff. Oh, wait, I can read before I go for my walk, then go for my walk,

and like, but what I didn't do, and I think this is the problem, and you've mentioned this a few times, and it's a big part of your work, is this, what I didn't do that I did the first time, was I didn't put a timetable on it. I didn't say like by this date,

I have to be here. So then when you miss, you feel that pressure of, oh shit, I missed. I'm fucked. I'm off my thing. It was just that incremental improvement. So, like, you know,

I kind of asked this a little bit, but maybe more as advice to those listening. Like, when you step off that path for a second, right, how do you advise your people getting back on? Is it like a don't miss twice kind of thing? Is it a grace? Like what is your, you're really good at the, at framing these thoughts.

So like, yeah, how do you frame getting back on the path when you step off before you start going back to your old habits? Yeah, I say, I say, dude, you're, don't let predictable things surprise you. My, my buddy at Team 6 is a team lead on Team 6. He says that to his guys before they go on ops that are going to suck. He's like, it's going to be cold. We're going on the mountains. It's going to suck. I don't want to hear complaining.

So don't let particular things surprise you. And I really like that. that and he says how I frame it for guys who are working with, I go, guess what? You're going to fail. Just plug it in here. You're going to fail. You're going to fail once. You'll probably fail twice. Probably feel more than that. I don't give a shit. It's understanding that you are going to fail. None of this is perfect. I'm not perfect. It's not going to be perfect. The situation's not. You're going to fail days. So just go, well, you know, yep, I fucked that one up. All right, let me get right back on it. let me fix this. Yeah, that was a bad meal. Don't make it a bad weekend. Yeah, it was a bad weekend. Don't make it a bad Monday.

Right. And then every time you just get back on the horse, it's not about never falling off. Get back on the horse. Reset yourself. Keep doing it again and again and again. And then next you know, right, we're not going to stay 100% consistent. We're not robots, man. It's like, and I think setting is, don't set the framework for perfect. I actually just got off a Zoom of the client. He has the problem with the all or nothing. I'm either doing it 100% or I'm on the couch doing it. And so there's like this understanding of our own psychology. Dude, this isn't a program. This is what you do now for the rest of your life. You're a mindful motherfucker who gets back on the horse. That's it. That's all you are. You're just more mindful about the way you eat and the way you move forever now.

Welcome to the club. So don't expect there's no pro. What is there no program for the rest of your life, it's just what you do. And when you start to make these things into who you are and not just the little tasks you're doing, it becomes a lot easier because you recognize, yeah, you might have had a bad meal. All right, yeah, listen to and become self-aware enough to understand if you're feeling a little guilt or, okay, we'll fix it. Then listen to that internal dialogue where it's guiding you. Your conscience is your guideline. Listen to your conscience. If it's saying, hey, dude, we should probably tighten up the food a little bit. You're getting a little loose. Tighten it. up then. Doesn't need to be perfect. Just start moving in the direction. Like you said, it's the way to invest. And this, because where you end up walking to and where you end up traveling to is going to be so much more honed in and perfect when you just kind of start getting some momentum. It's the momentum. And don't let yourself stop. That's the one piece that they say in seal training. Don't quit. Just don't quit. If it's a, you can't get the full workout in, I don't care. Good. Dude, do. Do you. 10 pushups.

That's at least you check. You're like, yeah, I didn't do it perfect, but at least that keeps you in the game. Don't ever go on the sideline and opt out and hang your cleats up. Nah, dude. What is that? That's no way to live. And that's also where all the anxiety is going to come from. So just do yourself a favor.

Just stay in the game. Bro, I love your mentality. I talk to you for another three hours. I think it's fun. Yeah, dude. We got a lot of good synergy, man. We should get some synergy on something in the future, bro. I'd love to have you on.

We got a podcast we launched out down in Florida, dude, with me and my former teammate and stuff. So, dude, I'd love to have you on and talk about some of these things, man. Dude, I'm down. I'm down. So I know there are people listening who want to get deeper into your world. Where do they go to do that? How do they connect deeper with you? So anybody can get me on my website, taylorcavina.com.

That contact form goes right to me. I don't outsource anything. AI, right? That goes right to my personal email. I do that by design because I like to see who's coming in and their stories. And then also my Instagram, TCAV official, where I do, you know, workout videos and you can see my daily flow. I record my morning process every day. And so they know I'm up with roll call.

And my YouTube, Taylor Kavanaugh, where I dive into some deeper principles, keynote, gym sessions with different characters around the United States. And just some of the deeper principles from, and it's my story from you'll see my first video in the Foreign Legion barracks room all the way up till till now, recording on the balcony in the house. you know, with the baby. So it's been quite the journey. And I look forward to communicating with people, listen to their story, and figure out how we get some men or women momentum. Dude, I appreciate the hell out of you.

I'm so glad you're out there and love this conversation. Thank you so much. Yeah, likewise, man. I appreciate everybody listening. And Ryan, dude, you're the man, bro. We're forward to speaking again. Appreciate you, bud.

Let's go. Yeah, make a look, make a look. Thank you. Thank you for listening to the Ryan. Hanley Show. Be sure to subscribe and leave us a comment or review wherever you listen to podcasts. Game and a game for me. I never switched to no change in me. The only thing changed to this. If you're an H-FAC technician and a call comes in, Granger knows that you need a partner that helps you find the right product, fast and hassle-free. And you know that when the

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