First Date Follow Up - The Jubal Show - Are there appropriate reasons to ghost someone?

Episode Date: April 17, 2023

First Date Follow Up is when we get an email from someone who went on a date and the other person isn't calling back. We get that other person on the phone to see why they're "ghosting".One of our listeners is getting ghosted after a date she went on, and this FIrst Date Follow Up will show you that there are actually some times where it is very appropreiate to ghoste somebody! It might be nice to still communicate with them, but find out what we mean in this new First Date Follow Up!Leave a rating and review wherever you listen. It will help the show out in a big way. If that's not your thing, you can find us on social media here:https://instagram.com/thejubalshowhttps://twitter.com/thejubalshowhttps://www.tiktok.com/@thejubalshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, everyone. It's Katie Couric. Well, the election is in the homestretch, right in time for a new season of my podcast, Next Question. I'm bringing in some FOKs, friends of Katie's, to help me out, like Ezra Klein, Jen Psaki, Astead Herndon. But we're also going to have some fun, thanks to some of my friends like Samantha Bee and Charlemagne the God. We're going to take some viewer questions as well. I mean, isn't that what democracy is all about? Check out our new season of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show, Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating,

sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast

Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Jubal Show on demand. First day follow-up. Sarah is on the phone today for our first day follow-up. She's getting ghosted by a dude named Dave that she went on a date with

and she has no idea why, so we're going to see if we can help her out. Sarah, thanks for coming on the show. Before we ask about your date and stuff, how long has it been since you heard from Dave? Yeah, thank you, guys. It's been a couple of weeks, and yeah, I just feel really dumb right now because I don't know what's going on. I know that feeling. Don't feel dumb, but let's try to figure it out.

So, take us through your date. What happened? Okay. So, I mean, we literally hit off immediately. Like we bonded over, you know, our love for nerd stuff, you know, hiking and stuff like that. And the conversation just flowed effortlessly. Like we found ourselves laughing and sharing stories throughout the evening like total great night and then like as the night progressed towards the end dave leaned in for a kiss and did you kiss him okay okay so you guys so you're kissing everything. Yeah. We had a really good time.

And, you know, I kind of want to pursue things with him. Like, you know, see where things would go. And, you know, because I'm usually not into people this quickly. But we just, I don't know, I just felt like we were in complete alignment. And, you know, like I said, I just feel like an idiot right now. Because maybe I misread the signs. And maybe I came on too strong by kissing him back. I don't know. I mean, if he leaned into you and he kissed you, that's not your fault for kissing him back.

Yeah, I guess. Why is he not calling me back? Is there anything that you can think of that was awkward at all on your date? I mean, we kind of had like a playful fight. We were talking about this new book that just came out on CNN, this Mabel sale or whatever. And he's talking about leadership. And, you know, he just kind of, Dave just kind of felt like I was way too into the leadership thing and that things should not be that stringent. And I was like, well, you know, if you're going to be a leader, you should be a good

leader. I mean, I just didn't think it was that big of a deal because we laughed about it, but it was a little awkward that he just felt so strongly and kind of got a little emotional about it. And I don't know. I can't imagine that being a deal breaker, though. I feel like that's kind of fun to have that kind of a different perspective than the person that you're on a date with.

I mean, yeah, I mean, some people take things too seriously, though, right? And you can't even there's some people that literally you can't argue with. They just like actually get upset all the time. If you kind of even playful argue, right? Yeah. Did it feel like Dave was getting upset? He was just not really upset, but emotional. Like, I don't know if I triggered him in some way.

What I was talking about reminded him of someone but it just seemed a little awkward I don't know okay well we'll see if we can figure it out for you then we'll play a song come back and then call him and see if we can get him to tell you why he's ghosting you and maybe get you another date if you want another date after you hear it okay okay cool

all right we'll play a song come back and get your first date follow up next right in the middle of your first date follow-up next. Right in the middle of your first date follow-up, if you're just joining us, Sarah is on the phone and she's getting ghosted by a dude named Dave. So we're about to call him

and see if we can get him to tell us why he's ghosting her and maybe get her another date. Sarah, before we call him though, real quick, recap your date for everybody who just joined us. Yeah, so like I said, we hit it off

on some true nerd stuff and talk about books and you know we had a great date he even leaned in for a kiss i kissed him back and you know we had a little awkward verbal tug of war nothing serious he did get a little emotional and then he just stopped texting me like well he didn't text me back at all like just but you did say at the end of the night he leaned in for a kiss, though. So you guys had a little moment. Yeah, we did. It was nice.

I mean, that's weird when that happens and then you get ghosted, right? If the ending is awkward and there's no hug or kiss or anything like that, then you can kind of tell that they didn't enjoy it. But when you actually kiss someone and then you don't hear from them, it's like mixed messaging. Yeah, it is. So we're about to call then you don't hear from them, it's like... Mixed messaging. Yeah, it is.

So we're about to call them right now. Are you ready, Sarah? I'm ready. Okay, here we go. Hello? Hi, may I speak to Dave, please? Dave speaking. Dave, what's up? How are you, man? Hey, I'm good. Who is this?

This is actually Jubal from The Jubal Show. It's a radio show. Yeah, and there's more people here, too, Dave, just so you know. I'm Nina. I'm Victoria. And we're all from The Jubal Show, which is a radio show. Right. And I don't know if you've heard it or not, but hi. Hi. I'm Victoria. And we're all from The Jubal Show, which is a radio show. Right. And I don't know if you've heard of it or not, but hi. Hi.

Hi. Hi. What are you guys calling for? Do I win a prize or something? We do a segment on our show called The First Date Follow-Up. It's where if you go out on a date with someone and then end up ghosting them, they can email us to get you on the phone and find out why you're ghosting them. And we got an email about you from someone who listens to the show that you're not

calling back after a date. Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about actually. Okay, who do you think it is? I know it's Sarah. Okay, so why is she getting ghosted? And I feel bad

because the past couple weeks I've actually been dealing with some personal issues emotionally. I had a family emergency. I had a death in the family, and it just left me completely overwhelmed. And I wanted to reach out to her, but I've just been kind of in a funk and in this turmoil. And I just, it's, it's consumed me and I'm just kind of withdrawn from everybody socially. Like, like,

you know, my other friends, you know, Sarah, obviously now, and I just, I feel bad and I, I've been,

I've been meaning to get back to her and I didn't mean to ghost her, but I feel terrible. You know, Dave, I will say this is probably the most valid reason to ghost anybody yeah because sometimes when you just have to excuse yourself from life like you get that pass and i'm sorry about your loss and i'm sorry about all the emotional stuff that you've been dealing with but i think that this is a forgivable offense reasonable yeah

thank you thank you, I mean, I feel bad and I regret not reaching out to her to let her know. There's certain things that are definitely excusable, right? Right. You don't owe

really anybody anything, but definitely someone that you went on one date with, if something like that happens, you don't really... Feel free to not feel bad about that, I think. Yeah.

I don't know you, but I'm proud of you for prioritizing your needs, I guess, when it comes to the mental health space. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to touch base and definitely reach out for sure. Well, why don't you touch base right now?

Yeah, I mean, I guess I could text her right now, actually. Yeah, no, you don't need to text her. You can actually just talk to her because she's actually on the other line and has been listening this whole time and wants to talk to you. Oh, wow. Okay. Hey, Sarah. Oh, my God, Dave. Like, I'm almost in tears.

I'm so sorry. I muted myself because I'm so emotionally overwhelmed. I'm so, so sorry about your loss. Like, I know we just had our first date and you don't know me and no one should ever tell you how you should heal or what that looks like. And I'm just, I'm just so sorry. I, you know what would have happened, like just the gist of it. And I apologize. But I will say that, you know, I'm still kind of getting over things, but it's going to take some time. But, I mean, if I want to spend time with someone, I mean, I'd like it to be you for sure, you know. So I hope that that's, you know, some indication of going forward. So sweet. Yes. Please take your time i just

i feel so bad for like putting you on full blast now no no don't don't feel bad well let's let's maybe aim to like meet up in like you know i don't know a week or so and just um yeah hang out i haven't asked the question yet but i'll ask it and i think i already know the answer we do dave would you like to go on another date with Sarah in a week or so maybe two yeah we'll pay for it could be three weeks I think it's fine yeah I think it's cool yeah whatever absolutely yes yes 100 100 I'm super excited I'm sorry I feel like such a geek right now but I'm excited I mean I love this though It's an example of when life stays life-end.

You gotta give people grace in that space and then you'll get a second date. Yeah, Sarah, I'll as soon as we hang up, I'll text you and we can set something up for sure. I promise. Okay. I'm looking forward to it. Thank you.

Of course. Talk to you soon. Yeah, Dave. I mean, listen, take your time. I'm just, I'm so glad to hear from you. I'm so very sorry about what's going on and what's happening. And if you want to talk in between and we don't have to exactly meet up, we can just have a conversation, you know, to talk about things that you would like and, you know, or text either way. way i just i look forward to connecting with you soon and and just so you know you know i i recently like within the last year or so went through something very similar so i i definitely know where you are and you know i may be a good ear so just let me know.

I appreciate that. Thank you. All right, sweet. And reach out when you're ready for your date because we'll pay for it. But like with that, make sure you do it like right before because I'm like too unorganized and I will forget about it. And you want him to pay for it. Yeah, I do want to pay for it too.

Definitely will. All right, take care. The Jubal Show On Demand. Hey everyone, it's Katie on demand. Hey, everyone. It's Katie Couric. Well, the election is in the homestretch right in time for a new season of my podcast, Next Question. I'm bringing in some FOKs, friends of Katie's, to help me out, like Ezra Klein, Jen Psaki, Astead Herndon. But we're also going to have some fun, thanks to some of my friends like Samantha Bee and Charlemagne the God.

We're going to take some viewer questions as well. I mean, isn't that what democracy is all about? Check out our new season of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend John Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the

iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity,

we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means

to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join in the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.