First Date Follow Up - The Jubal Show - Is he getting ghosted just because he likes to do things his own way?

Episode Date: April 10, 2023

First Date Follow Up is when we get an email from someone who went on a date and the other person isn't calling back. We get that other person on the phone to see why they're "ghosting".One of our listeners is on the phone and they are not getting a call back from a date he went on and he has his no idea why! In his email all he said was that he thinks it is because he likes to do things his own way, but what does that mean and is that really the reason he is being ghosted? Find out right now by listening to this new First Date Follow Up!Leave a rating and review wherever you listen. It will help the show out in a big way. If that's not your thing, you can find us on social media here:https://instagram.com/thejubalshowhttps://twitter.com/thejubalshowhttps://www.tiktok.com/@thejubalshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, everyone. It's Katie Couric. Well, the election is in the homestretch, right in time for a new season of my podcast, Next Question. I'm bringing in some FOKs, friends of Katie's, to help me out, like Ezra Klein, Jen Psaki, Astead Herndon. But we're also going to have some fun, thanks to some of my friends like Samantha Bee and Charlemagne the God. We're going to take some viewer questions as well. I mean, isn't that what democracy is all about? Check out our new season of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. You don't need another podcast. You've got too many already. But if you're looking for one that actually changes something, a way to take control of the chaos and find meaning, well, then maybe the one you feed is for you. I'm Eric Zimmer, and I bring real conversations with real people to help you feed the best part of yourself. No hype, no fluff, just wisdom that works. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Jubal Show on demand. First date follow-up.

Dante is on the phone today for a First Date Follow-Up. He's not getting called back. He's getting ghosted by a woman named Emma. Dante, thank you for agreeing to do the First Date Follow-Up. Before we get into everything, why don't you tell us how long it's been since you even talked to Emma? It's been like eight days, I think. Seven or eight days.

It's been about a week, yeah. All right, and how many times have you tried to reach out to her in those eight days? Yeah, I've hit her up like once or twice. I've hit her up with a high, yeah. All right. And how many times have you tried to reach out to her in those eight days? Yeah, I've hit her up like once or twice. You know, here was like a high, you know, but like nothing crazy. So why do you feel like she's ghosting you? Honestly, I don't know. I thought everything was going super, super well. Like, I feel like things were totally chilling, to be honest with you.

What'd you guys do? We met on Tinder. We started talking about like music. We talked about like the past, like work and stuff. We were like talking about talking it up. uh we found out we both kind of had some mutual interests mostly like music and stuff we were vibing on music and we were kind of talking about stuff and honestly she's smoking hot right like she's gorgeous this girl so okay we were talking on tinder and stuff kind of started getting like dirty right like we kind of started

like getting into it and after about a week of us kind of doing that we decided that was like like we kind of needed to see each other right so we met up we linked up and we just kind of got some drinks we're just hanging out getting some drinks it was all a good time to be honest like i thought everything was going like pretty smooth we were vibing on stuff so afterward i asked her if she wanted to go over to my place when she told me that she actually has worked the next day. Right. Okay.

But I'm not sure if I've kind of overshot things cause we were both kind of little tipsy. I didn't want to push it or anything too crazy, but I asked her if she wanted to go home. She said, not, not, not tonight. Okay. She sends me a text later that night saying that she's home and that's the last I've heard from her. It got to the point where you figured it was on when you saw each other. Yeah, exactly. No, exactly. So like when we did hang out, I just assumed because of like how dirty and flirty everything was getting that when we were going to hang out, that everything was going to kind of take its wings from there.

But when I offered it, she kind of backtracked a little bit. She kind of retracted that she had work and then sends me a text later saying she has work. And that's the last i heard from her now dante respectfully because i don't know either one of you but do you think there's any chance this could be just like you weren't what she what she thought you were gonna be like maybe she just like wasn't feeling it anymore and that's all right it happens i mean maybe i don't know i've been thinking about this a lot since the awol like I've been thinking about this a lot since the AWOL. Like I've been thinking about this a lot and I don't I don't know if like to me, it kind of seems like like I wasn't in the most stable place. Maybe there was something I did that kind of threw her off with that, like during the day. I don't know. I'm kind of on my own thing.

I have to ask you this because you kind of sound like this type of person and it doesn't mean you're a bad person. It probably means you're awesome, but it can be kind of off-putting. You know when you have a conversation with somebody and you get really excited and you kind of jump in and they go, stop, I wasn't finished. I need to finish what I'm saying. Don't cut me off before I'm done. And then they go about their business

and they think they're being polite and trying to explain to you that they need to finish. Well, it's actually quite rude. So I'm just wondering if a moment like that could have happened because a lot of times you don't realize you're being rude when it's actually quite rude so i'm just wondering if a moment like that could have happened because a lot of times you don't realize you're being rude when it's actually quite rude i don't know maybe and i'm hoping there's nothing like that i like to think that i'm respectful and all my stuff but i don't know you're just you're like sometimes you pick up a vibe in the middle of some of these conversations

and you're like i think i just sent her a different direction you know yeah maybe i i don't really understand what you mean by you're doing your own thing when you're on a I think I just sent her the different direction, you know? Yeah, maybe. I don't really understand what you mean by you're doing your own thing when you're on a date. In the dating world, it has burned me a little bit because I, because like, well, let's say if I was dating somebody for a while and then I go to meet their parents, right? I don't go out of my way, right? To like wow people, right?

Because I'm just like, I'm me, you're you. I respect you, you respect me. I don't have to respect you just because, right? I don't have to go out of my way put your best foot forward yeah people and show up and say i'm so happy to meet you yeah and and i've never done that even though i want to so it has looked bad on me though and i haven't understood it until recently i'm like oh there's nothing wrong with doing that it's just being polite yeah yeah and that's hard to say but that's the thing because i like this girl a lot like i don't know she is quick she is gorgeous she's so fun and i've never really vibed with someone like that through this tinder stuff so i was just really hoping that

something would go my way with this one okay well let's see if we can figure it out for you then we'll play a song come back and then call her and get your first date and then call her and see if we can find out why she's ghosting you and maybe get you another date with your first date follow up okay all right thanks guys all right man we'll you and maybe get you another date with your first date follow-up, okay? All right, thanks, guys. All right, man. We'll do it next. We're in the middle of your first date follow-up. If you're just joining us, Dante is on the phone,

and Dante isn't getting a call back from Emma, and he has no idea why. Before we give her a phone call to see if we can find out exactly why he's getting ghosted, Dante, give everybody a real quick recap on your date with Emma. So I met with this girl on Tinder. We were vibing, just totally vibing. She's so gorgeous. All the boxes

checked with this one. I'm really hoping something goes good with her. We hung out, got a little bit flirty with it. I'm worried that things got a little bit too flirty before we hung out because now I'm getting totally ghosted by this chick that I am fully into. So disappointing. I'm so sorry. Let's see if we can figure it out for you, Dante. Here we go. I'm going to call her right this chick that I am fully into. All right. So disappointing. I'm so sorry. We'll see if we can figure it out for you, Dante.

Here we go. I'm going to call her right now. Okay. All right. Thanks guys. All right, here we go. Hello. Hi, may I speak to Emma, please?

Hey, this is Emma. Hey, Emma, how are you? My name is Jubal from a radio show called The Jubal Show. Hi, Emma. My name's Nina. I'm here, too. Hi, I'm Victoria. I'm also here.

Yes. Hey, how's it going? Good. How are you? I'm good. What's this about? Well, not much. First of all, have you ever listened to the show before?

Yeah, a few times. Sweet. Okay. So you might be familiar with the segment we do called the first date follow up. Are you? Oh my God. Yes. Okay.

So it's you, girl. There's your answer. That's what the phone call is about. We got an email from one of our listeners about you and they say you're ghosting them. Oh my God. Is there somebody Yeah. Do you know who you are ghosting? Um

I mean someone does come to mind. Alright you throw out a name and I'll tell you if you're right or wrong. Okay. Crap. Is it Dante? Yes. It's Dante. He emailed us told us a little bit about your date he said he really liked you but you're ghosting him and he wants to know why can you tell us wow wow wow wow um I mean we yeah I guess we hit it off we just met on tinder you know and we ended up hanging out um yeah honestly i i had a good time like i can't say anything bad i think so when we talked to him he said that you guys um were like really flirty

on tinder like like getting to the point where where i was getting like dirty on yeah and then it just like stopped yeah so he's confused i mean i buying with him. I don't know what to say, you know? Well, why do you think you didn't hit him up after the date? Because he said you hit him back and said that you had to work and that you got home safe. And then he never heard from you again. I mean, look, his profile picture was hot. Like, you think you're talking to someone. You think you know everything that you're going to see in person.

And then, honestly honestly he shows up with cornrows and this is a white guy okay and you didn't like that it was a major cringe moment for me it gave you the ick

you know I got cornrows recently and I'm a white dude I know and he loves it he has a man bun too I changed him a little You know, I got cornrows recently, and I'm a white dude. I know, and he loves it. Oh, no. He has a man bun, too. I have a man bun. I changed him a little bit from just a straight cornrows, but do you think that's cringey? Yeah, I just think that's kind of embarrassing. A little inappropriate.

Okay. For you or for them? For them. For everyone involved. For everyone involved. Okay. Okay. And so that's what you didn't like.

You didn't like the fact that he had cornrows. Yeah, I just don't get why he would choose that because he had great hair in his pictures. So it's just a little off-putting. But so you know that he has great hair and then without the cornrows, you find yourself attracted to him. So it could have ended up just being as simple as, you want to get rid of those and see what happens next i mean he kind of fumbled it i just didn't

really feel like i could go and ask him to change his hair especially when you first start dating somebody to ask them like hey can you change your hairstyle i mean i know deeper into the relationship and he just popped up with cornrows we'd have a conversation conversation for sure. Yeah, I'm sure you'd have no problem deeper in a relationship being like, what is that? Yeah. Other than that, was everything else, like the whole date in general, like was that nice? That's fair. Yeah, unfortunately

I really liked him. We got along well. So you just can't see past the cornrows though, right? I mean, could you? Yes, because I had them. You had them. I forgot it. Yeah.

I think that, you know, if everything else is cool and some people can just rock that, you know, like there are certain people that their style is an extension of, you know, their own personal swag. Like we use the word swag kind of freely, but, you know,

people have their own kind of little swaggy swag you know maybe that's his deal yeah i just feel like there's certain hairstyles that are not for you when you're a white guy okay so it's good so you see it as it's not like a quote unquote white hairstyle i feel like it's a bit of a cultural appropriation. I mean, you're definitely entitled to have your opinion. You wonder how he would feel about that. Since you've gone out with him, do you wonder how he feels about them? Yeah, I mean, I'll hear him out. Sweet, because he's actually on the phone listening and has been listening this whole time and wants to talk to you.

Oh, crap. Yo, yo. Okay. The cornrows, is that it, though? Cornrows, that's it? That was it, yes. What's up, Dante? Yeah, I guess I thought you would be a little bit more serious of a guy when we met.

I mean, all right, look, look. I feel like this is, all right, because this is the thing. I'm still an adult, right? Like, I like to take things seriously for show, but that shouldn't stop me from being, like, an experimental person. I like trying new things. I like stepping outside of the box, you know what I mean? And the Coros, I mean, yeah, they're a little outside of the box, know what i mean and the coros i mean yeah they're they're a little

they're a little outside of the box but i i like that about myself i don't want to feel stifled you know i find myself to be an original person that way i love that i just i feel like there's so many choices there's just like a billion things to choose from and that's what you went with uh And see, the thing is you might not be totally wrong on that. There's all kinds of creativity that I can express through, right? Which is why I have

actually an offer for you. So if you're willing to let me take you out on a second date, I might get rid of them cornrows. Wow. Might. He's willing to change for you. Already. That's actually kind of a good sign.

Normally it takes guys a lot longer to be willing to change. Right. Or they don't. Yeah. Alright, you know what? Well, let me ask you, Emma. Would you like to go on another date with Dante? We'll pay for it. I'm down, honestly. Cornrows or not, why not?

You know, who am I to judge? Oh, wow. Okay. See? So Emma really was feeling sometimes it's not just about what they look like, it's about how they make you feel. Right? Yeah. I appreciate you understanding,

Emma, and I'm excited for this. So we're doing a second date? Oh, yeah. We really went the extra mile here. Congratulations, Dante. You got another date. That's exciting. Let's go.

That's the best. That's the best. Dante, are you going to take the braids out, though, for real? I said might. The Jubal Show on demand. Hey, everyone. It's Katie Couric. Well, the election is in the homestretch right in time for a new season of my podcast. Next question. I'm bringing in some FOKs, friends of Katie's to help me out like Ezra Klein, Jen Psaki, Astead Herndon. But we're also going to have some fun. Thanks to some of my friends like Samantha Bee and Charlemagne the God. We're going to take some viewer questions as well. I mean, isn't that what democracy is all

about? Check out our new season of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. John Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You don't need another podcast. You've got too many already.

But if you're looking for one that actually changes something, a way to take control of the chaos and find meaning, well, then maybe the one you feed is for you. I'm Eric Zimmer, and I bring real conversations with real people to help you feed the best part of yourself. No hype, no fluff, just wisdom that works. Listen to The One You Feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.