First Date Follow Up - The Jubal Show - Why did this caller come on if she doesn't want a second date?

Episode Date: April 12, 2023

First Date Follow Up is when we get an email from someone who went on a date and the other person isn't calling back. We get that other person on the phone to see why they're "ghosting".Sometimes it is not always about getting a second date! Sometimes people just want to know why they are getting ghosted! One of our listeners is getting ghosted and she doesn't really care if she sees the guy again, but just wants to know why she is not getting a call or text back! Find out why in this First Date Follow Up!Leave a rating and review wherever you listen. It will help the show out in a big way. If that's not your thing, you can find us on social media here:https://instagram.com/thejubalshowhttps://twitter.com/thejubalshowhttps://www.tiktok.com/@thejubalshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, everyone. It's Katie Couric. Well, the election is in the homestretch, right in time for a new season of my podcast, Next Question. I'm bringing in some FOKs, friends of Katie's, to help me out, like Ezra Klein, Jen Psaki, Astead Herndon. But we're also going to have some fun, thanks to some of my friends like Samantha Bee and Charlemagne the God. We're going to take some viewer questions as well. I mean, isn't that what democracy is all about? Check out our new season of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jon Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show, Ears Edition podcast. Join late night legend Jon Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating,

sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast

Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Jubal Show on demand. First date follow-up. Jessica is on the phone today for a first date follow-up, and she's getting ghosted by a dude named Chris. Jessica,

thank you for coming on the show. Before you tell us about your date, how long has it been since you heard from Chris? It's been a few days with no response whatsoever. Nothing at all. Okay. Have you tried to reach out to him? Oh yeah, I've been texting him because I think it's super weird

that we had a date and then he just stopped texting after weeks of texting all the time. Yeah. Okay. Did you guys meet on an app and were talking a bunch before you went out? Yeah, we met on an app and then we only had one date, which was, you know, kind of basic like happy hour, just some drinks and we shared an appetizer, but then nothing since that date ended. Did the date go well?

Well, I mean, I can't say that I was, like, super into him, but nothing went wrong in the date. Like, it's not that big of a deal that he ghosted me, except I hate when people don't respond to texts. She's like, I don't really like him, but it's the principle at this point. So it's more just getting ghosted than anything. I get that. I mean, I don't want to have to keep thinking about him. It's like there's no reason to. But there's something psychologically about being ghosted that makes me like upset over something that I barely even care about. Could that have come up in the day? Yeah.

Kind of a red flag. I'm not sure. You could tell. I understand you and I know I'm a walking red flag at times. So that's why I'm just asking. I don't know. I just think it's really rude. Like if we're old enough to go on a date,

then we should be old enough to say if we're not interested. And I'm curious, is it me? Or did he just not feel a connection? Or did he go on a date with someone else? And like the more like all of that's fine. I would just like to know what the answer is. If he was still talking to you, would you want to go out with him again?

Or is it just that you're getting ghosted and you can't stand not knowing why? It's sort of more the latter, but like I'm open. I didn't have a strong feeling one way or the other on whether we should go out again. So I'm open. I would just kind of like to know why he stopped responding to text messages. So if you think back to the date, though to your like, okay date, was there anything that was like less okay than normal? Yeah. Normally people are like, I really liked them and I don't

know why they're ghosting me. You're just like, I don't, it's whatever with him. I just don't want to be ghosted. Because if you're feeling like it was with whatever, maybe he thought it was just whatever too. And so he's like why bother yeah i guess but it takes two seconds to be like oh i just don't feel a connection or i'm not interested you know like why would you not like i'm actually kind of worried because he was so responsive before the date and he was all sniffly on the date so i'm worried he might like be really sick actually are you feeling sick at all i mean maybe you know, you know, you feel good. Yeah, I feel totally fine. So if he did have something, I didn't catch it. I mean, he was really sniffly, like totally nose black and everything.

Do you think that he knew you weren't that into it? Maybe. I mean, like I said, it's the first date. So it's not like I'm going to be like gushing over someone right away or like completely uninterested. I kind of feel like you should give people a chance. So I don't know. I don't think I gave off weird signals. Did anything happen on your date that you think could be a reason that he ghosted you? No, like we hugged when we first got there and it was a nice hug. Like he came full on in full body contact. He had, you know, no problem sharing food, which I like because I think that's like a way to connect if you're sharing a plate as opposed to getting your own things. You know, it's like your average date, I feel like.

I don't know, Jubal. How do you feel about going on an average date? Would you want another date after an average date? Not usually, no. And I would be fine getting ghosted because I'm like, cool, I don't have to talk to him again, you know? Yeah. Well, clearly you're healthier than I am. I wouldn't say that.

He's been working on it for a while. Well, okay. We'll try to figure it out for you. What's the last thing that he said to you? Oh, he said this was great and I'll talk to you soon. Like it ended in a positive way that would make you think that there's going to be communication afterwards. Okay. All right. Well, we'll see if we can figure it out for you. We'll play a song, come back and then call him and find out why you're getting ghosted next. Okay.

All right. Thanks. All right. In the middle of today's first day follow-up. And if you're just joining us, Jessica is on the phone and she's getting ghosted by a guy named Chris. She doesn't really care that much about Chris, but she wants to know why he's ghosting her. Real quick, Jessica, for anybody just joining us, give us a recap of your situation. So I went on a date with Chris. Things went fine. I'm not sure if I even want a second date, but he stopped responding to texts,

and it's driving me crazy. So I have to find out why. Okay. You know what? She's doing it for all the people that just are like, well, why not? I'm bomb. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I mean, if I'm going on a date and there's ghosting involved, it better be from me.

Okay. Yeah. We're about to call him and try to figure out why he's ghosting her. All right, Jessica, are you ready? I'm so ready. Okay, here we go. I'm going to dial his phone number. Yep. This is Chris. Hello, Chris. How are you? This is Jubal from The Jubal Show.

It's a radio show. Hi, Chris. I'm Nina, also on that show. That's Nina. And then Victoria's over there. There's three people on the phone with you right now. What's up, Chris? I'm so sorry.

What is going on? We do a segment on our show and it's called The First Date Follow-Up. It's where you go out on a date with somebody and then you end up ghosting them. They ask if we can get you on the phone

and figure out what happened. And we got an email about you from somebody that you went on a date with recently. Yeah, okay. Now I know what this is about. Brilliant. Hi. Okay. So you do I know what this is about. Brilliant. Hi.

Okay. So you do know who we're talking about. So is there somebody you're ghosting in particular? Yeah, no. Recently, I have been receiving a lot of texts and I haven't been replying to them just honestly because I haven't known how to. Let me guess, is Jessica on the line?

That's a great guess. That is a good guess. Hi, Jessica. How are you doing today? Can I talk? I mean, yeah. I think you have no choice now. Chris knows that you're on the phone.

Hi, Chris. Hi. Yeah. Okay. You know, it's really awkward to bring a whole radio show into this, but I guess, you know guess I have been dodging the text and everything. So the actual reason that I haven't responded to anything and the reason I really haven't known how tactfully to do this, I couldn't breathe throughout the entire date,

and that's not actually like a feelings thing. That's like a feelings thing that's like a medical thing uh when i went in for the hug there was all the cat hair on your sweater and i'm deathly just completely allergic to cats and so my entire breathing system was locking up oh well why didn't you tell me that fair question i'm uh i was trying to do the you know gentlemanly thing and trying to you know keep my wits about me keep the date going trying to be lively trying to not you know especially because i didn't want to put it on you and be like you know you're the cause of this or whatever. I really tried to bottle all that up. At the same time, it would have been very difficult for me to articulate any of this

just because I couldn't breathe. So I was smiling, nodding and anything else. What an awkward date. No wonder it was average. I'm sorry. She said Jessica told us that your date seemed kind of average. And from what Nina said right there, it would make sense. Right, because he wasn't really talking.

Yeah, we went out for drinks and for appetizers. It was a happy hour and I was trying to be as happy as possible while also trying to, you know, not faint. Okay, so that's why you weren't really talkative like you are in tech because you couldn't breathe like oh my god i'm so sorry i feel like i almost killed you no i mean so right and and honestly and that's why i was sharing the plates and everything is because i kind of wanted to keep our mouths full so i had an excuse not to talk. Yeah, you know, when we were texting, it never came up that you had a cat. Otherwise, I would have given you the heads up that I am allergic. Yeah, but I actually don't have a cat.

My roommate has a cat. And if you had just told me about your allergy, I would have made sure I used one of those, like, hair removal things so that I didn't show up with cat hair on my shirt. Okay, so I can blame your roommate then. That's totally fine. I'm fine with that. You can also blame yourself because you could have taken an antihistamine if you were experiencing such severe allergies. I just wasn't expecting to come face to face with like a cat that that's not really something that I schedule on my daily routine and therefore an antihistamine is not quite something that is just routine for me

Jessica was there at any point during the date like did you notice that he couldn't talk did he look itchy or like he couldn't breathe he didn't look itchy but he definitely sounded like he had a stuffy nose like I thought he might have a cold or was getting sick that he just didn't breathe? He didn't look itchy, but he definitely sounded like he had a stuffy nose. Like, I thought he might have a cold or was getting sick that he just didn't tell me about. But apparently, he's been suffering from this cat allergy all week, which is why he can't respond to my text messages. Is that what I'm hearing, Chris? Again, it's difficult because I don't want to throw anybody under the bus here, except, I guess, a cat or two. I just didn't want to text and say, hey, we should get together again and kind of lead anybody on,

especially if I was, you know, thinking that I had to continually contend with, like, oh, man, I'm going to have to put my face in another cat's butt every time I see her. I will say it's a teachable moment, though, for everybody listening at this point. And especially like as a woman, for a man to be direct and honest about what he's experiencing, that's attractive. Like that's hot. So maybe in the future, Chris, like if you start being able not to breathe, you just straight up say, I got allergies.

That's way more attractive. Nothing more attractive. Nothing more attractive than a guy gasping for air all right chris well i'm glad you're finally sharing now like i feel like i can like close this chapter a bit but like honestly i feel like you handled it completely wrong and maybe you'll take this as a lesson going forward and not ghost people when you're having some kind of issue. I will take that to heart. And Jessica, I'm so sorry. And I guess listeners of this radio show, I'm so sorry.

And what I did was not the correct thing to do. I'm going to be more direct from now on. I love that you're being direct and apologizing to Jessica, but it's also hot when you don't apologize to people you don't need to apologize to. Yeah, nobody's really that mad. I'm not mad at you. At you, Chris. It's understandable. Again, it's that martyrdom. I'm just trying to make sure that everybody in this situation feels great except for me, who is blushing and just totally red in his

office but you know it's okay. I mean I guess I have to ask no matter what. Totally. Chris would you like to go on another date with Jessica? We'll pay for it. You know that I would. I have a lot to make up for here and Jessica is very very sweet and I enjoy talking

to her when I can talk so yeah. I'm not interested. I really just wanted to know why you go to me. So I'm going to say no. OK, and that was direct. Yeah. The Jubal Show on demand. Hey, everyone.

It's Katie Couric. Well, the election is in the homestretch right in time for a new season of my podcast, Next Question. I'm bringing in some FOKs, friends of Katie's, to help me out, like Ezra Klein, Jen Psaki, Astead Herndon. But we're also going to have some fun, thanks to some of my friends like Samantha Bee and Charlemagne the God. We're going to take some viewer questions as well. I mean, isn't that what democracy is all about? Check out our new season of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. John Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back in our ears on The Daily Show, ears edition podcast.

Join late night legend John Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines, exclusive extended interviews, and more. Now this is a second term we can all get behind. Listen to The Daily Show, Ears Edition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Decisions Decisions, the podcast where boundaries are pushed and conversations get candid. Join your favorite hosts, me, Weezy WTF, and me, Mandy B, as we dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. That's right. Every Monday and Wednesday, we both invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, we share our personal journeys navigating our 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships,

and engage in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that will resonate with your experiences, Decisions Decisions is going to be your go-to source for the open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections. Tune in and join the conversation. Listen to Decisions Decisions on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.