Fitzdog Radio - Anjelah Johnson-Reyes on Fame, Family and Finding Her Voice

Episode Date: August 12, 2026

Subscribe to Greg Fitzsimmons: https://bit.ly/subGregFitz Anjelah Johnson-Reyes joins Greg to talk about becoming a mother later in life, growing up wanting the chola lifestyle, changing her name after marriage and building a comedy career from her breakout nail salon bit. They also get into aging in Hollywood, accents and cultural appropriation, life on the road, raising kids and the surprising comedians who once opened for Anjelah.Anjelah’s new special Ugly Baby is available now on YouTube, and her podcast Funjelah is available on all major platforms. Sponsored by Quince. Go to Quince.com/FitzDog for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. This show is produced by Gotham Production Studios and part of the Gotham Network. https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/studios/ Follow Greg Fitzsimmons: Facebook: https://facebook.com/FitzdogRadio Instagram: https://instagram.com/gregfitzsimmons Twitter: https://twitter.com/gregfitzshow Official Website: http://gregfitzsimmons.com Tour Dates: https://bit.ly/GregFitzTour Merch: https://bit.ly/GregFitzMerch “Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons” Book: https://amzn.to/2Z2bB82 “Life on Stage” Comedy Special: https://bit.ly/GregFitzSpecial Listen to Greg Fitzsimmons: Fitzdog Radio: https://bit.ly/FitzdogRadio Sunday Papers: http://bit.ly/SundayPapersPod Childish: http://childishpod.com Watch more Greg Fitzsimmons: Latest Uploads: https://bit.ly/latestGregFitz Fitzdog Radio: https://bit.ly/radioGregFitz Sunday Papers: https://bit.ly/sundayGregFitz Stand Up Comedy: https://bit.ly/comedyGregFitz Popular Videos: https://bit.ly/popGregFitz About Greg Fitzsimmons: Mixing an incisive wit with scathing sarcasm, Greg Fitzsimmons is an accomplished stand-up, an Emmy Award winning writer, and a host on TV, radio and his own podcasts. Greg is host of the popular “FitzDog Radio” podcast (https://bit.ly/FitzdogRadio), as well as “Sunday Papers” with co-host Mike Gibbons (http://bit.ly/SundayPapersPod) and “Childish” with co-host Alison Rosen (http://childishpod.com). A regular with Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Kimmel, Greg also frequents “The Joe Rogan Experience,” “Lights Out with David Spade,” and has made more than 50 visits to “The Howard Stern Show.” Howard gave Greg his own show on Sirius/XM which lasted more than 10 years. Greg’s one-hour standup special, “Life On Stage,” was named a Top 10 Comedy Release by LA Weekly. The special premiered on Comedy Central and is now available on Amazon Prime, as a DVD, or a download (https://bit.ly/GregFitzSpecial). Greg’s 2011 book, Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons (https://amzn.to/2Z2bB82), climbed the best-seller charts and garnered outstanding reviews from NPR and Vanity Fair. Greg appeared in the Netflix series “Santa Clarita Diet,” the Emmy-winning FX series “Louie,” spent five years as a panelist on VH1’s “Best Week Ever,” was a reoccurring panelist on “Chelsea Lately,” and starred in two half-hour stand-up specials on Comedy Central. Greg wrote and appeared on the Judd Apatow HBO series “Crashing.” Writing credits include HBO’s “Lucky Louie,” “Cedric the Entertainer Presents,” “Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher,” “The Man Show” and many others. On his mantle beside the four Daytime Emmys he won as a writer and producer on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” sit “The Jury Award for Best Comedian” from The HBO Comedy Arts Festival and a Cable Ace Award for hosting the MTV game show "Idiot Savants." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Hey world. Hey America. Canada, Ireland. I can see, I have a host site that the podcast is on and I can see who's listening. from what country, from what state. I know what you're wearing right now. I can see you. You're looking at me?

I'm looking at you. Welcome to Fitzdog Radio. I'm in my sister's house up in Westchester County, New York. I'm up here. Kind of a crazy weekend. I flew in and my bags. I'm here for a funeral. I flew.

It was obviously a last-minute thing. and sad times compounded by the fact that Delta Airlines lost my bag and made it impossible to get anybody on the phone. What is it about corporations that I'm on hold every time for between 50 minutes and an hour and five minutes, every time for two days, day or night? And you wonder, okay, they're paying some. some Filipino guy $12 a day to answer phones on a line that was built in 1927, can't understand his accent or the quality of the...

Anyway, but the point is, at least let me talk to this person. Why is it that every corporation makes you wait for this amount of time? Did they not factor in that I paid $800 for a one-way ticket last minute to get to a funeral and I deserve out of that 800, take 12 of that 800 and give it to a guy to work a whole fucking day and cut that 50 minutes out of the call. They want you to wait. They don't want you to talk to somebody. They want you to go online.

So they punish you. But I can't go online to say my bag is missing and it's currently, according to your tracker online, heading back to Los Angeles right now, which it did. They flew it back to L.A. And anyway, so I went to a funeral. My friend luckily brought me closed at the last minute. It was a saga. And then I got to the airport at JFK

to talk to a customer service person at the luggage thing was three hours. Three hours. The line was weaving through the baggage carousels. And so I finally got home. I talked to three different people. none of whom could help me. Each one was the product of a three-hour hold.

And then finally I went online. I hate to do this. I saved this hand grenade for when I really need it. I went online and I got on Twitter and I wrote, has Delta Airlines given up? I got a missing bag. I'm trying to get my suit to go to a funeral. I send it out 10 minutes later, my phone rings.

And it's an American. from Delta Airlines asking me how they can help. Is that what it, and I have 100,000 followers, if that. I think I've lost a bunch because I've talked politics. But it's incredible what it takes with corporations these days. So anyway, so I got here and very sadly, one of my dearest friends in the world, Pete Scott, who was my roommate in college and we've stayed very close over the years. his twin sister Val died this week after a long battle with cancer,

and she was a beautiful person inside and out, just a flame of life, a mother, a great wife. I mean, I could go on about her life. She was, they had a crazy childhood. My friend Pete and her grew up in L.A. until they were 10, and they got shuffled off to New York City and they really had to take care of themselves. I don't know, the parenting was a little questionable at times.

And they stayed very close throughout their lives. And he was there for the last few years he's been around. He actually moved to New York to be closer to her. And then the last few months, he actually moved into her house and was like holding her hand and caring for her day and night. But it has a totally positive, of attitude about it. It was definitely a memorial of celebration of life. Her husband is a friend of

mine who is just the greatest guy. I mean, at times like this people, he always go, oh, they were so great. This is a very special family. And you know, you go to the memorial and you see the quality of people that get up and speak about them and that I meet. And it's heartbreaking because her kids are about the same age I was when my father died. So I know what it's like to be at that stage of your life where you're just kind of moving away from your parents for the first time in a real way. You're out of college. They're not paying your rent anymore. And it's a healthy time to step away from your parents a little bit.

And then you're kind of drawn back in. And I know they'll be there for their father. And it's tough. It's tough. Anyway. But I was talking to... There's another good friend of mine. She leads psychotropic, you know, psilocybin and all these are kind of experiences.

And it's very enlightening and it's very profound for a lot of people. And the thing that, and we talked about it. And, you know, one of the things that you do is you find your true self. And I was thinking about that because I'm going to do it. But do I want to find my true self? Like that's kind of a scary proposition. I've spent many years piecing together with rusty nails and two by fours. This is me.

This is, it may not be my true self, but it's a self that is a husband and a father and a working comedian and a friend. And it works. Everybody seems to be happy with this self. The true self, I worked hard to quit drinking, go to a lot of therapy. I don't know that the true self is going to be good for the world. I believe jail time might be involved, a divorce. I don't know. Who's your true self?

My true self is like my, what do we call it the id? It's the id. It's horny. It's depraved. It's a liar. I beat all those things. I don't know. which is the true one.

I don't know. Anyway, before I get to this, oh, and, you know, we stayed in this hotel, and it had a pool, and the pool had a diving board. And I just need to mention, I'm going to post it online,

but I used to do gymnastics when I was a kid. For like six years, I pretty seriously did gymnastics. And so I was always, always had fun on diving boards. And I used to throw double fronts, double backs off the diving board. And I would do one and a halfs with a twist.

And so I said to my friends, I go, I'm going to do a one and a half right now. I go, you can't do a fucking one and a half. You're 60 years old. Got on the board, bunch of little kids standing around. And they're doing dives. I'm like, you can do a flip. They're like, I can't do a flip.

You can do a flip. You're little. It's not going to hurt if you miss it. You weigh 25 pounds. And I said, what if this? How about this? If I do a one and a half, you can do a flip. And they're like, you can't do a one and a half.

So I got up there like Rodney Dangerfield and back to school. And I didn't even hesitate. Because I knew if I did, I wouldn't do it. I got on the board. I took three steps. I bounced. And I fucking nailed a one and a half. body was vertical going into the water.

I got up, the kids were cheering. I couldn't believe it. High fives from six-year-olds. Got to the point where I was like, all right, kids, stop, stop. Your parents are looking to me right now. Now I'm the creepy guy talking to their kids at a pool. So no point to that story except you need to know I did a one and a half. All right, coming to St. Pete's to the Joke World Festival, August 14th and 15th.

That's this weekend. Cincinnati, the Funny Bone, August 26th, Columbus Funny Bone, August 27th. Then I'm coming to Vancouver, La Jolla, Batavia, Toronto. Go to Fitzdog.com, get some tickets to come out. And also, you know, August is a great time to reset before fall gets busy. You know where you want to start? Wardrobe, baby, makes you feel fresh for the new season. And you want to get some qualities.

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I really do. I think you'll enjoy it. Let's get to my guest today. She is started as an NFL cheerleader. A beautiful woman, but also hilariously funny and very hardworking. I respect her grind. She used to be on Mad TV. She had this Vietnamese character in a nail salon

that was like one of the first viral videos, which huge. Kind of launched her. I'm not sure how great of a comic she was when that happened, but she used that to get the stage time to become really a really good comedian. I watched her special. I thought it was fantastic. She's got a bunch of characters you know. she's got TV credits and movie credits.

Our family wedding, Mara Madoog, she was on Lopez tonight. I had a really good talk with it. We really bonded. I know you're going to love it. Here's my talk with Angela Johnson Reyes. Welcome to my guest, Angela Johnson Reyes. Reyes. That's your husband's name?

and you took it on. I did. Ten years later, I did. Did you have to change your, you know, you can't vote now. Oh, right. You better check on that. That passed, everything, that's real? Oh, yeah.

No way. Yeah. So your name on your ID has to match your birth certificate. Is that what it is or something? Yes. Yes. If you've hyphenated your last name on there, you no longer, as a woman. And I think that there is maybe, a bent of women maybe voting more Democrat than Republican? Does that make sense? I would think so.

And so I think that the powers that be right now are trying to minimize the women voters. Oh, interesting. Yes. So if they start voting Republican, then they'll be like, well, you don't really need this law. Exactly. We love women. You guys should have abortions now. No, it's, yeah, my wife did that. She added, she was Aaron, I don't know I can say her full name, but, you know, she hyphenated it. And then every time I book a ticket for us, I would do it through, especially international. Domestically, they don't really hassle you on it if your license doesn't have the hyphen it. But when you travel internationally, the passport has to match the ticket and all that.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, I think I've traveled internationally since then because it's been five years since I changed my name. Yeah. Since I added it. Five years? Actually, hold on. Pause. Everybody. Everybody pause for a second. Let's take it easy. Hey, take it easy. I hyphenated my name immediately out the gate.

So we've been married 15 years now. No. Yeah. So out the gate, I hyphenated my name legally. I changed my name legally. It's just five years ago I changed it publicly that I started adding his name to my brand is what it was. because when we first got married, I was already Angela Johnson. I'm touring, and I was like, I don't want to confuse people and just add this name that nobody's ever heard of. So I said, you know, I'm going to wait until I have like a big project so I can like rebrand myself and just like add his name. Like if I have like a TV show or a movie come out, then I'll be Angela Johnson Reyes.

And I waited 10 years and that project never came. So I was like, you know, let me just add his name. Right, right. So what's the next rebranding? you're going to be senior at the end? Maybe. Maybe. I'm ready for senior.

I just turned 60. Really? I don't look it, right? No. But, okay, how about this? You glossed over that so fast. There was no moment of you taking in how old I looked and going. No, you really don't.

Your voice didn't. There was no resonance to the voice. There was no eye contact. No. You caught me. Well, you caught me. I mean, I was trying to put that on you. and say, don't I look less than 60, and you didn't take the bait.

And nor should you, because I look every day of 60. Well, here's the thing. You don't dress it. No. So you look. I go, oh, he's younger then, right? Because you're like a young vibe. Like you're a vibe.

Like a Benjamin Buttons. Like I'm a child who just aged a lot. A little bit. Yeah. I have a question for you. Sorry, this is your podcast, I know. But I just had a quick question since you brought up the age thing. because how long you've been doing stand-up?

36 years. 36 years. So when you first started and you're like out there with your boys, y'all young, y'all having fun, it's the time of your lives, right? It really is. Did you ever imagine, like, this era, like, I'm going to be 60? Like, do you ever see that? Did you ever, like, envision this era? I think when I first started, like, um,

I started so long ago, you probably can't even imagine this, but like there weren't chains of comedy clubs. There was like Chinese restaurants that had comedy rooms and there was like a couple clubs. Like back rooms? Like gambling rooms? Not gambling rooms, but like, you know how Chinese restaurants always have like a banquet room in the back? Okay, yeah, I see what you're saying. So they would just take a microphone back there and a spotlight or if you got a spotlight, you were lucky. You know, maybe a couple of like, you know, little canned lights on the scene. ceiling. And so it was really like nobody ever used the word career. Like if one of us had said

the word career in the first seven years we were doing stand-up, you would have gotten so shit on by everybody else. And now people do it three times and they're already talking about, you know, managers and, you know, social media. And so, but then I think once I started to make a living at it and move to New York, then I was surrounded. I used to belong. to the Friars Club, you know the Friars Club in New York. Wow. So if people don't know, it's like an old club. It's been around since like the 1920s,

and it's an entertainment clubhouse. It's literally like a bunch of boys got a clubhouse, but it was for comedians. And it was for all these comedians like, you know, Henny Youngman and Milton Burrell and all those like Catskill comedians. Do you even know those guys? No, I don't. Oh, that's so sad.

It is sad. I bet you it is sad. I don't know, but I bet you it is sad. The guys who started stand-up comedy, you know, back in the 50s and so. But anyway, I got to know these guys and they were all at this point in their 60s, 70s, and they were still doing it. So I very much at that time was like, oh, yeah, this is just what I'll do. And then, you know, me and my wife were talking about retiring because I've got a shitload of money. Nice.

And I'm like, yeah, but what am I going to do if I just stop? Yeah. and she's like you'll go crazy you'll be do you ever think you'll retire i mean you're only 41 now right yeah i i enjoy it yeah i do i can tell i watch a new special by the way we'll get to that later but thank you really really good thank you you you look like you're having fun up there thank you i appreciate that yeah i do enjoy it but i also enjoy being home yeah staying home right and if i could my brain says if I could, I would retire and stay home and be a mom. I became a mom late in life.

And so I'm like, I would just stay home with my daughter and like do mom stuff and like raise her. Do you want some money? Yeah, I think I would get, I need to get on the road. You know what I mean? I think I would do it. But everything in me goes, nah, I would stay home. Yeah.

So I don't know. Like I say, yeah, heck yeah, I would. retire. But then part of me goes, the second I retire, be like, let's just book a show just for fun. Let's just for fun. Yeah. And then you see people retire and then after like two or three years, they're climbing the walls and their spouses say, no, you're going back to work. Yeah. And it's not always about the money. And it's nice to like go to, it's like I've written on TV shows a lot too. And it's nice to go to an office and see people you know. And you know, you have your same coffee cup. Yeah. We've already talked about that. I,

You know, I had my own coffee cup. Yeah. Yeah. I would love that. That was the dream. I moved to L.A. to be an actress. Yeah.

I thought I was going to be like on a sitcom and like have like that kind of a life. Like a multi-cam sitcom is dream world to me. Like table read and then rehearsal day, then pre-shoots and then live tape day and then do it again the next week. And then how about the weekend off? Same schedule and the weekend off. Same sketch. Yep. Have your same dressing room.

You get treated. Your same green room. You've got PAs. All these people live to make you happy. Do you want a cappuccino? Can I redo your hair? Oh, my God. I used to love it.

They would just. What happened? They worked on it too much. I kept wanting to work on it. You were too successful. That's what that says. This says I was too successful. That's great.

I pushed myself hard. Yeah. That's what these say I worked overtime. Yeah. This says I worked hard. Jesus. You're hanging in. Do you ever have a plan?

plastic surgery or Botox or anything? Yeah, I didn't, I haven't done Botox in maybe like two years. And I keep going back and forth and if I want to do it again. Because I'll look in the mirror and I'll be like, oh man, I wish it was just like this. Just not a full facelift, but I wish it was just a little tighter. Yeah. And like my jowls are coming down. I wish it was just a little.

Yeah, the jowls are tough. Just that. Yeah, you know? Right. And so I'm like, pardon me. But then I don't want to put the stuff in. in my body and and then I had a um somebody was telling about when she got Botox like she always just always had Botox always had Botox and she's like and then I didn't get it for a little while and my

son saw me frown for the first time and he saw my eyebrows and he thought I was mad at him and I was like oh my god I don't want that like I don't want my daughter to be surprised at my face and what it really looks like I don't know yeah and once you start you're supposed to keep doing it, right? Otherwise, it's just I know. Well, you know, I think that as you get older in this town, there is a lot of pressure, I think, especially

on women to try to stay looking young. Yeah, I know. But I don't know. That sort of feels like I think we're passed out a little bit. You're seeing a lot of older actresses working now more and they're not getting the work done. Julia Roberts hasn't gotten the work done and Michelle Pfeiffer,

you know? I feel like it's not necessarily stay looking young, but age gracefully. Yeah. I would like to age gracefully, and I say that, and I feel like this is gracefully. Like, it's starting to sag, and I'm in my mid-40s, so isn't that what it's supposed to do right about now? So then I'm like, well, maybe I don't want to age gracefully. Maybe I do want to stay young.

I keep going back and forth. Well, you dye your hair, right? Yeah, mm-hmm. I do. You fake tans at all, or? No, this is real tan. I don't, the fake tan smells a little bit funny. Right.

I do have it for like if I have to do an event or something. I do have it, but it smells a little bit funny. Do you do it on yourself or you go to a spray tan place? Both. I've done a spray tan to like go. Is that weird? Do you just, do you stand there naked like this and somebody walks around you and sprays you? Is that weird?

Yeah, a little bit. But then also, no, not really. It's usually some girl who does this herself too. Is she a mask and gloves? Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. What a gig.

is, huh? Yeah. I mean, you must get, you must get it on you. If you're doing it all day long, you must have weird slashes. Totally, totally. But yeah, I've, I've done it for events and stuff and I do, I have grays that I cover up. And I do my highlights. So it's definitely, this is not unnatural. Like there's some work that goes into it. I did a little bit of contour today. Okay. Yeah. Well, I think that it's an interesting topic for comedians because it is something that you talk about in your act.

You talk about aging and your body changing and all of that is fodder. So it is strange sometimes when you see like Nikki Glazer doing the full reworking of everything. And but it works for her because that's kind of what she's going for. She's going for the glamorous award show host job. and I think she's getting some movie work and stuff like that. And that's definitely one way to go. But you don't have to because then you have material to talk about. Part of me wishes I had a little bit of that in me, like that I...

Embracing the... That I cared more. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wish I... But also, I can't wear high heels. It hurts my ankles. No. So like, and the heels I do wear like two and a half.

Three inches is like I can wear it just to like dinner and back. I'm not doing a whole day thing. Yeah. But like two, two and a half inches, like I can pull that off. You know what I mean? And then like the little stiletto heel, like, again, if it's two and a half inches, sure. But like if it's like a little chunk of a heel, I'm like, ah, I can rock this for a few hours, you know? But I can't really wear heels for very long.

And I'm bow-legged, so I'm insecure. You're bow-legged? Yeah. Were you, like, conscious of that as a kid? Oh, my God, yes. Yeah, totally. And I always had big feet growing up. Like, I was a size eight in, like, second grade.

You're a size eight at your height? I mean, in half now. They grew after I got pregnant. Oh, yeah, that'll happen. Yeah. So I'm eight and a half now. I'm five, three, eight and a half. Damn.

Yeah, I've been in a size eight since I was like a kid. Yeah. What were your nicknames as a kid? They would say I had skis. Uh-huh. Yeah. skis. I had big teeth, so my teeth were wind blockers. Um, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But part of me wishes I had some of that. What about the bow legs? Did they call you cowboy or anything? Um. I'm gonna call you cowboy from now on. Yeah. I don't remember a name for it.

I need a nickname from you. Um, I don't know. I'm not, I don't know how to... Some of my wrinkles. You call me like, uh, uh, what do you say what's somebody's? You say what somebody's wrinkled? What's that dog? A chamo?

Sharpay. You call me Sharpay. You call me Sharpay and I'll call you Cowboy. All right. And that's what we'll call this episode. I like it. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Kids are so cruel. Oh, my God. I had red hair. That was tough. They really go. Not as bad as they do today. Today they really go after you if you have red hair. Yeah, but then also, it's kind of a commodity, I think, a little bit.

Like, yeah, they go out. after you, but then also there's like a trend on TikTok about like redhead guys are like, what is it? Like redhead guys, like the new black guy or something like that? Like redhead guy has like soul or something. I don't know. It was some TikTok trend that was going around. Redhead guy has soul.

Yeah, like I forget, I'm getting this wrong. So whoever is watching this is probably like, that was not the trend. I'm trying to think of a redhead musician. Who? Simply red. Simply red? Well, that's pretty on the nose. Yeah.

Who else? I dated redheads in high school. Charlie Parker had red hair, but he was black. You dated redheads? Yeah. Really? Yeah. I dated my pastor's son.

Yeah, and he was redhead. I went to prom with two different redheads. Two different ones. What do you mean? The same night? No, no. Different proms. Oh, I thought you were working at.

A trouble at prom night. No, no, no, different proms. Yeah. Yeah. Damn, wait, tell me about the- I didn't discriminate. Tell me about the preacher's son. Was he, because they usually have a reputation

for being wild because they're the son of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're pretty wild. I mean, he wasn't too wild, but he liked to sin. He did. Yeah. Yeah, with you. But to an extent, because I, I wasn't,

I wasn't sinning all the way. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was like kind of sin. Yeah, I get that. That's what my relationship with my wife is like now. I got to third base the other day. It was awesome. How long have you been married?

It'll be 27 years Friday. Yeah, yeah. That's incredible. Congrats. Thank you. And very, very happy. Very happy. and still attracted to her.

I think she's beautiful. And Paul knows that she's still beautiful, right? His wife's a haughty too. You know, we should hang out. Watch your mouth is everywhere. Four of us. No, but she's a gentle, loving, empathic person. Wonderful.

She's just got a really nice energy to be around. I don't know that I'd be married unless really, I don't think I'd still be married to anybody except for her because I have, you know, I get moody. I have ADHD, so I'm annoying to put up with like, I forget my keys a lot too. You forgot your keys today. Yeah, I did. You know, it's annoying to be with somebody who's like that all the time. And I don't think they would have put up with me.

She puts up with you. Yeah, I don't want to sound like that because she calls me on stuff. She keeps me honest, but she also, I think the key to a marriage is not for, fighting the same fight all the time. If somebody, you know, if somebody, like, leaves their shoes in the middle of the floor and it makes you fucking crazy. Yeah. And you yell at them and they don't do it.

Go move their shoes. Yeah. Just go move their shoes. And save the fight for the thing like, you bought a motorcycle without telling me. That's the fight. Yeah. Hey, that's good advice, actually. Yeah.

That's good advice that I think I took your advice yesterday without knowing it was going to be your advice. My, we don't let my daughter eat while she's in the car seat while we're driving. How old is she now? Three. Uh-huh. She's three years old. So when, if I'm driving, I don't just let her eat back there because if she starts choking, I won't know.

I never thought of that. You know what I mean? Like, I have no idea. That's a choking. And choking and drowning are silent deaths. You don't know what's happening. Yeah. So we have a rule.

She does not eat in the car seat. And so we got in the car last night after dinner and we were in separate cars. husband was his car, me and my daughter in our car, and this car, and he put her in the car seat, and I'm in the driver's seat, and once he closed his door, I'm like, okay, bye, and I just drive away. Why didn't see he gave her, like a fruit bar before we left, and we both know the rules. She doesn't eat, right? And so I'm driving, and then I'm talking to her, and it kind of sounds like she has food in her mouth, and I was like, is she eating something?

Yeah. That's weird. Okay, then I get home, and she has food all over her face, and she has, like, half of the bar left, and I was like, you were eating this whole time? I was driving and part of me wanted to call my husband and be like you gave her food when you were driving but I was like you know what he knows the rule he just forgot he forgot he just forgot yeah yeah she's alive right don't make a big deal about it probably not gonna do it again but let me tell you I thought about it three times yeah I was like I'm just gonna call

I'm just gonna I'll just send a text no don't send it just okay wait till like it when he gets home then I'll be like hey you forgot you gave her food yeah and I was like you know what don't do it yeah just he you know that he He knows. Yeah. It just slipped his mind. I also think that your instinct to think about it before saying something is huge. I think we make our worst mistakes when we react instantly to things.

Yeah, yeah. I do that too, though. Take a breath. Well, yeah, you're Latina. Yep. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you for the past.

Yeah. Well, I mean, I think, you know, Latino women, I think that's why I was attracted to them. I dated a lot Colombian and Cuban. And I grew up in a town that was very, very Latino. Uh-huh. And I was so skinny and pale that I loved dark skin and they were a little curvier. You have the big teeth and the giant feet. I just loved it.

And I got to know the temperament. Yeah. You don't fuck around. Yeah, yeah. Your wife is Latina? No, she's Irish and Jewish. Oh, you married opposite. You were like, this was fun.

Now it's time to get real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you end up doing that. I think more often than not, people end up going back to the tribe. You marry your mom. You marry your dad. Is your husband Latino? He is.

He's Puerto Rican. Yeah, he's Puerto Rican. Yeah, I'm Mexican. He's Puerto Rican. So we're not the same Latino. Right. He's East Coast Latino. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I say he's tropical Latino. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we had a lot of Puerto Ricans in New York, and I've never met one on the West Coast. Oh, yeah. It's all, you know, here, it's all Salvadorian and Mexican. and Guatemalan and Puerto Ricans are very different

because Puerto Ricans feel like I feel like I don't want to sound racist when I say this should I say it anyway? Yeah, yeah. Well I feel like Puerto Ricans feel more like I guess because they're, what are they,

in American territory? Yeah. So I think they feel more entitled so you go to the Puerto Rican Day parade and they take over the fucking city. You don't see that on Cinco de Mayo. There's not... Well, you do, but it's not all white people taking over Cinco de Mayo.

Right, right, right, right. We celebrate it. Yeah, yeah. It's a fun one. You guys go hard for Cinco de Mayo. Well, my kids went to a Spanish immersion school, so like half the kids they went to school with were from non-English-speaking homes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so Cinco de Mayo, Day of the Dead, we're huge.

That was with the big holidays. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, my husband, he'll jokingly. say stuff like that to me and my family he'll be like, well, we're American. Oh, really? He'll jokingly

do some of that. Yeah. But yeah, for sure. Yeah. And so, and then you have some Native American in you as well? Yeah. On both sides. My mom and my dad's side, but mostly my dad's side. Wow.

I didn't grow up knowing, like I'm not, like my grandpa never, registered or anything like I don't get any checks in the mail or anything like that um but we are native yeah yeah interesting do you know a tribe tigua it's my grandpa's side that's a west coast tribe i think they were like texas new mexico arizona somewhere over there have you done the ancestor DNA test no you should you might find out some other crazy stuff i'm too scared i don't know i

I don't know where I was getting it. You don't want to find out that you're part Irish? Okay, see, there's a little bit, okay, being fully honest, there's a little bit of me that's scared to find out that I'm not what I think I am. Yeah. There's a little bit of that. But then there's also, I don't know what's going to happen with our DNA someday. And like, what are they going to do with it?

And, like, I don't know. I don't know. But I do want to know. I love it when some, like, dark Italian guy who's racist, takes the test. He finds out he's part black. Yeah. You see the look on his face. Like, fuck.

Yeah. What are I going to do? Yeah. That's you, buddy. Yeah. I did it. I'm 99% Irish. 99%.

Is that true? Is that? 1% Asian. And the 1% Asian, they say, is the Mongols. You're fully Irish. All four of my grandparents are from there. I've never met somebody who's done the test and is not, I'm this percent this, this percent that.

Right. Wow. No, it's crazy. I mean, I guess, you know, it's an island. Ireland is an island. So I guess you get a lot of the same DNA just kind of trapped together. Not a lot of intermingling. You know, but I guess, I guess Gangas Khan made it over, though, for a long weekend.

Dropped a little seed. Went on his way. Do you go back? Yeah, many times. I love it. I feel like I'm home. I've been there. I love it.

Isn't it amazing? Beautiful. Did you perform there? No, I wish. No, we just went on a little truce. No kidding. Yeah. What we did was we posted up in Dublin and would do like day trips out, but we wish we just traveled. Yeah, that's the way to do it. Yeah, we wish we did that. We would love to go back and do it again. We had amazing food actually. Every restaurant we went to was like

farm to table type and like it was fresh and delicious. We went to a museum there that was so incredible. I can't remember the name of it. Was it at Trinity College where the book of Kelz is? No. No. No. But it was like an interactive museum sharing just the history of Ireland, and it was like, I learned so much. Yeah. It was really cool. Yeah, I mean, it's a, it's a city that was colonized, the country that was colonized, you know, by the British. So I guess you can relate to that, you know, with the Spanish coming to Mexico and, you know, trying to stamp out the indigenous culture and the music and the religion. And so, um, and so, um, But I think there's, I think there's a lot of pride there for the Irish that they have held.

Like this was illegal. The Irish harp was illegal. If they caught you with it, they killed you. Why? Because they didn't want any traces of Irish culture. So you couldn't play Irish music. And so people would dig basements under their houses. And they put a harp down there and they would have these.

You probably saw some sessions when you were over there where they, you're in a bar and they all just start playing a fiddle. I don't remember. Yeah. So that's a big thing. And yeah, but it's, it's pretty cool. Yeah, I want to live there at some point. My wife has full citizenship. I still have to get mine because her grandparents were from there as well.

That is pretty awesome. Yeah. That's great. I feel like I'm talking a lot about me on this podcast. Sorry, I flipped it on you. Well, because you have your own podcast. I know. I know.

I turned it into mine, sorry. Funjula? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My podcast is a gratitude-based podcast. I listened to one.

It was very upbeat. But yet it was very funny. There was a, sometimes podcasts can get very serious. Yeah. This one has at times. Yeah. But I think we've also had some fun. It's got heart, it's got levity.

It's got heart and levity. And yours is heavy on levity. It's heavity. And so you've been doing that? Who's your partner on that? Like the girl who sits with me? Yeah. Danielle.

She produces it with me. What's her last name? Roach. And she's also my road manager and my assistant. That's an Irish. name, Roach. Is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, I did it. I never met another Roach. So she, one of your best friends? I mean, we're friends. That's the right answer. You don't want to be best friends with people you work with. Like, Paul and I, we've kept a healthy relationship from each other. And there's sexual tension, too.

I can feel it. Yeah. It felt it as soon as I walked in. It's for each other's wives, but there's sexual tension. You should have seen his wife and her. prime oh my god oh my god i can't with you right now we lived the same neighborhood and i mean that's all anybody talked about was uh yeah his wife uh-oh wowzers yeah i would say she's in her prime now look you would say she's in a prime now what does she watch this podcast or something that's why she's

your wife that's why you won it is funny like um i often wonder how beautiful my wife is to other people because it is true. They stay beautiful to you. And you almost, I realize when I talk to my wife on the phone because the voice hasn't changed, I'm picturing 30-year-old era. Really? Yes.

Okay. And then I come home and I'm like, what the fuck? Question about that, about the voice not changing. I'll listen to myself on video from like even just five years ago. And I go, oh, my voice sounds a little bit different. Your voice was higher when you were younger. Yeah, it was a little bit different. So, like, it does change, but we don't hear it change.

So I'm sure my husband's voice has changed, but I don't hear it change. But then when I go back and listen to a video from just, you know, like I said, five years ago. And I'm like, oh, my God, wait a minute. We sound different. Yeah. It's wild. Yeah, your vocal chorus settle. And also what I've noticed about you, which is interesting, is you're born here in San Jose.

You're from? Yeah, San Jose. San Jose. and yet you have a Latino, you have a Mexican accent. I do. I don't think it's as strong now when I see earlier stuff of you.

Oh yeah, yeah. You had a very strong, would you put it on on stage? Yeah, yeah. You would add to it. So I definitely would put it on. Now it's something I do, I don't realize I'm doing it.

It's kind of like whoever I'm with and around. I like, I morph in to that. So if you're around ice, you really take it down. I do. I take it. it down all the way down right no I really like if you have an accent if you have a southern accent forget it I'm I'm I'm I'm gonna have a little draw by the end of our conversation really you're

chameleon yeah right so when I first started doing stand-up early early on I was trying to be who I thought people wanted me to be you know and I'm like I'm Latina so let me act what they think Latina sounds like and looks like and it was funny and I would get laughs and and I portrayed my my parents as like English as a second language, parents, very immigrant, that is not my parents. My parents sounds so white if you talk to them. Are they immigrants? No.

No. No, they're born here. I'm fourth generation. No shit. Yes. Yeah. Damn. So early on in my career, if I did a joke about my mom,

it was very like, hi, Mika, you did this? My mom does not talk. I could play a voicemail from her right now. I was like, hey, I just got home from the gym. Call me because, oh, actually your brother's call me. I'll call you back. Okay, bye. Like, that's, we sound like each other.

So you almost have more of one than she does when you're on stage. Yeah. Yeah, I put a little extra on it. So now it comes out when I'm doing a bit. So I don't like turn on. I'm a character now, but it's kind of like if I'm talking about something, like, for instance, my bit that I do and my new special where I talk about I'm the Thia now. And I'm talking about my family reunion, which we just had a couple weeks ago. But I'm talking about my family

reunion. And now I'm the older one. So now I'm the Thia. So when I'm explaining the story, I'm very like, I get a little bit more like this. And my voice starts doing that. And it's just all this. I'm like, Miha, don't do that. And I have this little thing that I, and it depends on what story I'm telling that I just start doing that. And then if I'm telling a story where I'm trying to express that I was really dignified in the situation, we're on a flight. I have my daughter, she's sitting in my lap, just like any other person would do. We're on a flight, just like you. And my daughter, she's sitting in my lap. Yeah, so I don't do it then. You know what I mean? I'm just very like, this is how I talk. Okay. And then my daughter starts crying. This lady has the audacity

to, you know, do this, you know, like that kind of a conversation. Well, think about it. That's how your career started. You were able to take on the accent of a, what ethnicity was that, Nile? Vietnamese. Vietnamese, yeah, which was very specific. It's very different than a Chinese accent. And I think that's what made that bit so big is that it wasn't just a generic broad stroke accent. And so that's a gift that you have. You've just always had an ear for accents, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, there's some that I could do really well, like the Vietnamese accent. And then there's some that I just can't do it. For years, I've tried to do an Australian accent,

and I cannot do it. It turns, every time I would do it to, like, my Australian friends, I'd be like, no, that's Kiwi. You're doing Kiwi. And I'm like, okay, well, it starts off Australian. Then it turns into New Zealand. Then it'll be a little bit British. But by the end, every accent that I do turns into Vietnamese, no matter what.

Like, all of a sudden. Yeah, I mean, can I do black, I could do black, I could do Mexican. I could do Jewish. I could do all of, um, wow. Have you ever done black and part of your act on stage? Well, okay, so I had a character named Bon Quikui that was just like, I was still, I'm Latina, and she was a Latina hood chick, but she was a very urban hood chick. You knew she grew up in the hood.

You knew that was her. And so that character, that came out on Mad TV. when I was on Mad TV 2007, 2007, 2008, and that blew up right after the nail salon blew up. But I feel like if I were to do those characters today. Cultural appropriation. It's not the same. Nope.

It's not the same. But it is funny. I love to see people lean into an accent. Like Theo Vaughn, I mean, I remember seeing like a clip of him doing road rules when he was in his 20s. And he's like, yeah, I guess we're going on this adventure today. We're going up the hill. And I was like, and I'm down with peepaw.

And, you know, and Ali Wong, you know, she leans into the Asian accent on stage. Not heavy, but. But she is Asian. I know, but she doesn't talk like that. Right, right. But I think for her kind of like if she's doing, like it serves the purpose of the story.

No, no, no. If she's just talking on stage, she has more of an Asian accent. Really? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think I'm speaking out of school about this. I think I think she would say the same thing. Oh. I guess I haven't paid attention that much. I don't know. And then Chris DeLeia sounds like he's from New York and he's not from New York. Oh, interesting.

Yeah, but the New York act, I think accents really help comedy a lot because, you know, people, whatever. There's so many fucking people trying to tell us how to do comedy. There's so many YouTube videos about how to be a comedian. And one of the things they always say is you've got to have a voice. And they've always said that. You got to have a voice. Well, very literally, if you have an accent, you already have the beginnings of a character or a voice because they know where you're from.

Or if you're like a fat guy and you walk on stage, there's the premise. All I need is the punchline now. They see that I'm overweight. You know, they take the mic out of the stand. They put the mic stand to the side and they go, let me get this out of the way so you can see me. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You're already in.

Yeah, yeah. I got to go up there and explain what's funny about me, except for the wrinkles. Yeah, except for the wrinkles. But that's a new way now, because you didn't have the wrinkles growing up. No, I did. You did? You've already been wrinkled? Yeah, I got them young.

I got them young. I lost my hair young and I got wrinkled young. Oh, okay. Yeah. People thought I was from the south. People would ask me where I was from. I was from the Bay Area of the Big. the Bay Area they'd like, oh, I thought you were from Texas or something because your voice,

like your accent. Well, I think, you know, I think you have a touch of a valley girl to you, which I think part, that's part of the San Jose thing. It's a beach town, you know, and, well, it's near enough to, there's surfers there, right? It's close to Santa Cruz. Let me tell you about where you live. And if you wouldn't interrupt me, I'd really appreciate it. Apologies. So San Jose at its heart is a beach town. But I think there is a little bit of a valley girl sound, and valley girl can sound Southern. Hmm, okay.

Maybe it's that. And sometimes I was just, I'd be like, no, I think I'm just ghetto. Like it's just. Did you grow up ghetto? I don't wanna say ghetto. We grew up, our neighborhood was not the hood. Yeah.

Okay. It wasn't fancy by any means. Um, single mom household, all the neighborhood kids hung out of my house. Um, just like, she had four kids with a hairstylist budget, so she didn't, like, have a lot of money. She was a hairstylist. Yeah. That's my daughter's studying to me right now. Aw, beautiful.

Yeah. So my mom was a hairstylist for years. My aunt's uncles, everybody in my family, my brother, everybody's a hairstylist. Everybody's a hairstylist. My, there's at one time three hair salons in my family. Oh, my God. Yeah. Now I think it's just one.

Are they hiring? The one is in San Diego now. Okay. Yeah. But all that to say, like, we didn't grow up, like, super in the hood, but that's the life that I always wanted. Like, I wanted to be in a gang, but I didn't want to be in a gang. I just wanted that, like, hood lifestyle.

And, like, I... Did you hang out with hood? kids at school. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I had a, I wrote a book, and it's called Who Do I Think I I Am? Stories of Chola Wishes and Caviar Dreams. Because I had, I wanted to be a Chola, but I also wanted, like, this fancy life, but I wanted that hood life. I wanted a boyfriend that drove a lowrider and had tattoos on his neck. Like, I wanted to do you have those boyfriends? Yeah. Wow. I loved it. And still today, if I see it, like, on social media, I'm like, yeah, that was my dream. Really? That's what I wanted. But I wanted. But I

didn't really want it. Does your husband role play that when he comes into the bedroom? No. No. No. I would even... It's Chola night. Imagine, no. My, I would ask my mom growing up, I'd be like, mom, do we have any family members in prison? Like, I wanted, like, street cred. Yeah. And she'd be like, no. Did you ever get arrested? No. Any of the guys you were dating get arrested? Oh, yeah. I got a ticket for truancy one time. That's good. That's good.

Yeah. But no. I was a good kid. Yeah. I hung out with the wrong crowd at times and did some bad things. So you were the best kid in the worst crowd. Probably. Yeah.

That's a good place to be. I like that. Yeah. Because you're exposed to fun and danger and excitement, but you're not the one. You're the first one to run when the cops get there. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. 100%.

Was your mother ever? And I was fast, too. I would run fast. Was your mother ever? Was your mother ever set by? some of the guys that were pulling up in the low riders. Bruh. I was just talking to my mom the other day and was like, how did you survive?

Like, how did you put up with me? I was 14 years old. My boyfriend at the time was in a gang and had a kid. I was playing stepmom at 14. No. How dumb is that? How old was he? Just a few years older.

I think he was maybe 16 or 17. No, he was older than that. No, no, no. Like, he was just like started right young. I think the story doesn't age well, So you're fudging the numbers a little bit. No, but there are some stories like that. Yeah.

In my life. But this particular guy, he was still, he wasn't 18 yet. He was teenager too. But he had a kid. Yeah. And he wasn't a gang. And my poor mother, that she allowed this to happen, but how could she not allow it? Like, I was just going to do what I was going to do.

Uh-huh. So that's wild. Like when I think about that 14 years old, when you get older and you have that moment where you remember what you put your mother through, that's when the love goes to another level with a parent. You know, because you take it for granted when you're young. Oh, yeah.

I've called my mom multiple times as an adult to apologize for everything that I did as a teenager. Like a memory will pop in my head of something I did to my mom or said to my mom. And then I'll call her and be like, man, I was not nice. Like how you loved me through that, yeah.

Blows my mind. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, parents love is, it's grace. There's grace to it. Yeah. Yeah. And how many kids were in your family?

Well, growing up, it was my sister. She's three years older than me. Then it was me. Then it was my brother Kenny and then my brother Mitchell. And then when we were teenagers, we found out my dad had his son from a previous relationship. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. That was a surprise.

Previous to your mom or concurrent? In high school. No, it was in high school. And he didn't tell you until you were older? Yeah. Well, they put the baby up for adoption. Oh. So neither one of them raised the baby.

They put the baby up for adoption. And then later on, my dad decided he wanted to look for him. And so then he told us he had a son in high school. And he hired like a private investigator to look for him and he found him. And so he's like, we're going to go meet him. Is that one of the things where you go, find him, make a report, come back to me. And then maybe we'll go tell him. Yeah, yeah.

No, and then we met him in Reno, Nevada. Oh, no, that's not good. And, yeah, and he's great. He actually, he lives in Georgia now. He was just here visiting his daughter had a softball tournament this past week, so I got to see him and my niece. No kidding. Yeah, it was great.

See a hairstylist? Wouldn't that be wild? I know. Yeah. But that's my dad's side. My mom's side is the hairstylist man. Yeah, and I know, but I'm just saying it would be a funny joke. Yeah, sorry.

I did that thing. You really fucking stepped on the comedy on that one. I hate it. Cut that from the episode. So you're close to him. Yeah, we've gotten closer over the years for sure. That's really nice. I love that.

And then in your special, you talk about that your grandfather was one of 25. My grandma, yes. Your grandmother was. I corrected you again. Sorry. Cut it. And so did you ever calculate how many first cousins you have? Oh, I have a lot.

First cousins. I have a lot. Okay, so my grandma was sibling of 25. My mom's a sibling of eight. She's the youngest of eight. So even that in itself. Yeah. That's a lot.

My mom had four kids. My aunt had three kids. My other had, so I don't know. You'd have to really sit down and figure that out. Yeah. I mean, I'm Irish. I'm the same way. My mom was one of six or six. Well, one died. And then they, two of them had seven each. Two of her sisters or sister and a brother had seven each. And then it gets to this generation and you go like, one and done. Like no one's even having, like my generation was having two instead of three. Because it used to be three, you know? I mean, everybody I grew up with. Three kids in the family, maybe four, maybe five. No, if you had one or two kids, it was kind of like, what's wrong with the Smith family? And now it's like you're hard pressed to afford more than one child in this world.

And also people are like you having children later in life. So you get that one and you're like, all right, doesn't have a big head and he's healthy. Let's cut our losses, you know. You're really rolling the dice after that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, part of me, my husband and I talk about we wish we started earlier. so we could have given her a sibling. But then it's hard enough with just one.

Also, you don't really have that kind of money. You can't even retire. I know. I mean, you're in your 40s and you can't even retire. Dang. Does your husband make money? What do you say? A Christian rapper or something?

He was. Yes, he was a Christian rapper. Now he does, he still does music. Yeah. He does sync music. So he writes music for commercials and TV trailer, movie trailers, and stuff like that. Oh, that's pretty cool. Oh, yeah.

Do you have a little studio in the house? Yeah. Nice. And it's so easy. He'll just write a song and sometimes he'll write, just get in the studio and just write something that's like generic enough to where it could be for a car company or McDonald's or whoever. And then they'll just pitch it around. The agents will pitch it around.

And then other times they get like, we're looking for a song that sounds like this, that says this, and it's for this. Oh, that's so cool. to that and then he'll book it or not book it but a lot of times he's had some really great success with like some really cool campaigns and does he play instruments or is it all done electronically electronically yeah everything all the instruments everything his producers will do all the instruments on the keyboard and then now he's teaching himself how to produce himself yeah um but yeah he's been doing that for years and he does real estate so he's

like flipping houses so he's earning Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're both earned. You got two good incomes. Yeah. I mean, you're out there playing theaters. We're doing all right. So you're making, like, how big of your theaters?

It depends. It's whatever market I mean, like the biggest 3,000. Nice. I mean, I've done, like, Houston, it was like $6,500, but I can't do that everywhere. Yeah. Like, I could do that in like markets. So usually like $1,000 to $2,000 range? Like, yeah, like $1,000 to $2,000 is probably like my sweet

spot and then how much of the tickets? Probably like starting 40, 45. I don't want to price out. No, that's good, but that's 80 grand at the door, so you're walking away with 50, and then you're doing

how many shows a year? Well, if I'm on a tour, like my last tour was about 100 cities, 100 shows. That's $5 million. dollars. It's around there. But I also have to commission a lot of people. Yeah, but still, that's a good, that's a good take. He should retire. I missed the days when I saw, I'd be working at a club and I would see you, you've heard of me before, right? Yeah. I would see your, when we're on tour, it's like you and I were on the same tour, but just like a few weeks apart. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like

I always saw your poster up at the club I was coming to next, and I'd have a half a crowd, and I'd be like, they'll make up the money when she gets here. The waitresses, the worst is like, I did Pittsburgh this weekend, and on the second show, Saturday, the feature was on stage,

and so I went to the back of the room just to check out the crowd, and I saw the worst thing you can see, the waitress with her coat on and her purse walking out. You're like, and I always apologize and I throw him some money. You did? I gave her 20 bucks. I'm like, I'm sorry.

You're very kind. Yeah, I tip everybody. I tipped a shit out of the club. Tipped the sound guy. Oh, that's beautiful. Whoever's waiting on the green room. And then I sell my pins. Tipped that guy.

And then you know who I tip the most? The maid. I always leave 20 bucks for the maid. Because people don't. Yeah. You tip the maid? I never thought about that. Yeah, people don't think of it.

I think about, like, who are in the maid. the cleaning crew that comes in. It's your hotel room. Oh, in your hotel room. I thought you're talking about the clock. Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, yeah. Oh, I tip of my hotel.

I didn't always, but my manager at the time, Dave Rath, who was my manager. He was my manager forever. He's one of my closest friends in the world. I fucking love Dave Rath. Dave was my comedy dad. Yeah? He was my manager for 10 years when I first started.

And he, I have only the best things to say about Dave Roth and I love him with all my heart. But you left him? Yeah. Yeah. We ended up parting ways, but he's still just... Are you still friendly with him? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll text him every now. That could be tricky. No, no, no, no. Hey, he's sitting pictures of your kids. How are they? Like, he was at my 60th birthday party and, uh, and, and, uh, and I absolutely love Dave Brad. Yeah, he's the best. So he's the one who told me about tipping your maid. Like, I didn't know. Yeah. And he's like, yeah, tip your housekeeping. And I was like, I don't know supposed to do that. Like you don't know what you don't know until somebody teaches you. I know.

And so I was like, oh, okay, so then after that, then I started to- When I was on a school trip, when we were in ninth grade, we went to D.C. for something. And the principal said to us, everybody leave $1 for every night you're in the hotel room. That's what you do. And I learned it then when I was 14. And then I was always done since then. Yeah, and then you got the driver to the airport. I mean, especially if you work Vegas. Vegas, you tip so because you get out of the car they always take your bag i'll you have my one but no no we got your bag so then you tip the guy that takes the bag to the desk and then as you're checking in he leaves and another guy brings it to the room now you got to tip that guy yeah how much are you tipping

20 bucks well no no not for those guys those guys i'll give five but if i'm if i'm taking a car from the hotel from the airport that's 20 bucks yeah okay and then they send a car to set to take you to morning radio. I got to pay that guy 20 bucks and then I got the car taking me to the show and back. That's 20 bucks. You know, it starts to add up. Yeah. I mean, luckily I'm making, I don't make 50, but I make about $40,000 a night. That's nice. No, I don't make anywhere near that. Oh. But I tip like I do. Yeah, you do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If people had to guess, they'd be like, that guy's making 40 grand a night. I feel like sometimes, um, I get in my head. I get in my head. about tipping. Like, am I tipping enough? Like, I'm about the same, like, $20 for the driver.

Yeah. If it's a long drive, I'll do like 50 bucks. Really? Yeah, like if he's taking me from Philly to Jersey. Oh, yeah, yeah, I could see that. You know what I mean? Like, but sometimes I really get in my head about tipping. I'm like, I don't want to look cheap, but then also, I don't want to just be giving away all my money because I'm afraid I'm going to look cheap. I'm like, here's $100. Thanks for taking my luggage in. What? Yeah.

Well, when you were coming up, because I'm at that point where, you know, if I want to bring somebody on the road with me and it's a flight, then the club doesn't pay the flight. No. They'll give them a hotel room generally, and then they're only paying them, you know. Yeah. These days, like $100 a show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So maybe you're doing five shows on the weekends. So you make $500, and then they've got to take care of their air for a hundred.

How does that make sense? So then you have to decide. Like sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. You know, buy a plane ticket for a feature. And but then when you have them there, your life is so much better. You know, when you have somebody in the green room that you're friends with and you can chill. So did you do that when you were coming up? Yeah, I paid for everything.

I paid because of, sorry, is this been low the whole time? Did it fall down? That was weird. Sounds like me with my wife. I paid for comfort. I wanted to feel comfortable on stage knowing that in the green room was peaceful because that's my friend in there. On stage, I know what he's talking about and I know what he's saying. So by the time I get up there, I feel comfortable.

You don't have to stand in the back and see what jokes he's doing to see if it steps on your joke. Sure, sure. Or if it's something inappropriate because I run a clean show. Yeah. So there's been times where I have you somebody local and I'm like, oh my God, that's not the vibe of my show. Right. So I paid for comfort and I wanted my, if I had to leave my family, then I wanted to make family on the road. So I have my regular people.

Sure. And I rarely would pick new people. So I would travel with my opener for as long as I could. before they blew up, they're with me the whole time. Right. So like Shang Wang, he traveled with me for years. Oh, really? Loved working with Shang Wang.

He's so great. Nate Bargettze opened for me for like a year and a half, two years. Oh, my God. If I can keep you as long as I can until you blow up. Now I have Mal Hall is my go-to guy. I have guys all over the country that are like my Florida guys, Ron Hortman, like my middle southern guy, Brian Bates, on the East Coast like Northeast.

I have Kristen Seville's, Joe Larson that I love out there. And then Mal Hall, he's in San Diego, but he's like my guy that I take with me everywhere. It sounds like you like a male. I like females opening for me. You prefer a female opening for you? I prefer a male because they're going to get the female perspective. Right.

So I would like to just give like a whole different. That's how I feel about it. I also like female energy in my life in general, you know? Guys are, I don't know. I think I've always been closer friends with women than men, you know? Yeah, I get it. Well, I'm a homosexual. Yeah, okay.

So that explains a lot. It does. Do you ever curse on stage at all? No. Do you in life? In life, yeah. Like I'm at home with my husband or my siblings. Do you curse on podcasts? No, not really. I mean, on my own podcast. Will you say shit on this podcast? Well, no, I don't want to just because you asked me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I think I have on my own podcast a couple times. I don't like it. All right, let's get to a thing call. Oh, wow, we're almost running out of time. I only keep it to an hour because I don't want to abuse people's times. I know people have things to do. I like when I go to a podcast and all of a sudden you're an hour and 45 minutes in. It's like, hey, guys, you want to, and it's not even a, and they haven't watched your special. They haven't, they haven't gone to your Wikipedia page. And they just, what's the podcast?

Oh, we just hang out. Really? You can do that without me. And then they don't have dates to plug for you at the end. And it's like, I just drove from Venice Beach to Burbank. Right, right, right. So I keep it to an hour. And right now we've done 55 minutes.

That's pretty good. We've done a pretty good amount of time. Yeah, but we're going to do fastballs with fits right now. Okay, what is that? Well, I ask you questions. Okay. Who's the worst opener you ever had? Oh, I don't even remember his name.

But getting back to where I'm like, that's not the vibe of my show. Yeah. The club hired this guy. and I was like, okay, you can work clean. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Goes up the first show and it's just F-bomb, F-L. The whole time, F-Bohm, and I was like, no, bro, you can't do that. You got to work clean, like, no cuss words.

Oh, okay, so like squeaky clean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, squeaky clean. He's like, oh, okay, cool. Then he goes up at the next show, and he can't do it. And he's at, like, about seven minutes. And he's pretty much, now he's just trying to do crowd work because he can't do it. And you don't want him doing crowd work either. No, and I'm like, this is not going to work.

Like, this is trash. Like, I can't have this. And luckily, at that time, I get a text message for my friend, Samuel Bade, who is like, I'm in town. Can I come do a guest set? And I'm like, bruh. Bro, you're doing a 30-minute guest set for the whole weekend, bruh? So that guy became the host of the show, and he did his five minutes that he could do clean up top.

And then my friend Sammy came in, and he opened for me for the weekend. I like it. Who's your best gay friend? What a funny question. My best gay friend, I'm so many gays. Oh, my God, this is a tough one. Yeah, because they're all watching. And they're just all so fun and, oh, I love them all.

This is a good question. It's a great question. I love it. Okay, can I just name off a few? Sure. I love. Oh, my friend Johnny, he's hilarious. He just makes me laugh all the time.

Text message, it's always going to be something sassy and funny. My friend Shane, I love Shane because he's like, he's a spiritual gay. Like, he's been with his partner for years, but he also, like, loves Jesus and is like super Christian gay. And he's, I just, I love him so much. Yeah, he does, like, online church, I think.

But he would, like, sing in church. He's a songwriter. He's written many hits that you hear on the radio right now. He's a songwriter. Wow. He's written some big hits. But yeah, I love Shane. Oh, my gosh, there's so many.

I'll just leave it at them, too, because I'm going to take this question forever. Okay. What's the closest you had to a fist fight on stage? Hmm. I don't imagine you engender a lot of animosity from crowd members. don't, but there have been times where one time I was at Cobbs in San Francisco. And at the end of my show, I was doing this bit where I was promoting my music because my character, Bonquique, we did music and we came out with a whole album and everything my husband wrote

and produced it, Obvi, he's a music. He got my character signed to a record label. So my character, Bonquique, we was signed to Warner Music and came out with a song. the full album. We toured the album. I toured as that character. Yes. Oh my god. So she had a full album and a Christmas EP, so we did a little Christmas album. In my stand-up show, at the end of my show, I would like do one of my songs and be like, you can get it on, you know, download it, whatever, blah, blah, blah. And so I'm like working the stage and I go this way to work this stage and I turn around and some guy just came up on stage and he's right behind me. And luckily security came in after that.

She got it before that. But that was a moment where I'm like, do I defend myself? Like, is this guy about to attack me? Like, what is happening? It was more scary than like a fist fight. Like, I'm angry with somebody. Did your hood rat side come out? My terrified side came out first, but then afterward, my hood rat side comes out more so with, like, security in the venue.

And it was like, why did this happen? Yeah, yeah. Like get on your your toes. What is happening? No, it's amazing. Security at comedy clubs, they usually hire two people, and their job is to do that. Yeah. And they're in the back of the room, or they're not even in the room, and they're on their phone.

And somebody's heckling, and I go, like, where's the two people whose full-time job is to stop this from happening? It's amazing. Have you had fights in your show? Oh, I got beat up on stage one. You did? If you see my act, I'm a little, I'm a little aggressive. Is it, people know about this? Like the time you got beat up, like it's on video or something?

Yeah, I talked about it on, um, didn't you do Ari Shafir show this is not happening? No. How about how I thought you did that? You basically tell true stories at a strip club on stage with the crowd, and they put it on Comedy Central. And I told the story on that. Wow, you got beat up. That's not okay. I got in some shots.

I hit him in the head with the, with, um, the forehead with the mic and he was bleeding so that was good i got that in but then he he did he was israeli and he did some crav magashe and he got me in a headlock and yeah yeah yeah yeah and of course security was not in the room oh muggle yeah so it took a while it was one of those fights that wouldn't end dang i've had fights in my shows but not me i'm not a part of them have been in a fight i have i was young did you win 13 i think i did hair pulling yeah there's i got some shots in her face for you did For sure. I was on the bottom.

She was on top of me, and I was getting shots while she was on top of me. That's tough to get in shots when you're on the bottom because you can't get your arm back. But I also felt more stable, like down on the ground, and it was more like quick, like, get her in like this, you know? That's good. It's kind of like Chola hiding. Now there'd be video of it if it happened today. No, this was back in the day with pagers. Pager because I remember I was wearing overalls and my pager was right here and I handed it to my friend.

Hold my pager. Yeah, that was that. If I get any pages, let me know. Let's go. All right, last thing I'll ask you, and then we'll mention your tour dates that are coming up. What's the hackiest bit you've ever done? Well, my biggest bit, my nail salon.

That's what I was told when I first started doing this joke. I started stand-up at a free comedy class at a church. That's why I started doing stand-up. And I was like, I have this nail salon bit that I do, like this character. I could probably make that into a joke. And the woman who was teaching the class was like, oh, that's so hacky. Everybody has a nail salon joke.

So many people do nail salon jokes and voices. I would steer clear of that because that's considered hacky. And I was like, oh, well, I don't know if anybody does it the way I do it. I'll just try it. So apparently my number one joke, the nail salon bit, is probably my hackiest bit. Interesting. Wow. It's funny too because I was watching you talk about having a kid.

and thinking to myself, like, when I first had a kid, I was doing material about it. And some fucking cool New York comic goes, oh, what are you the comic now that's going to, like, talk about their kids? And I go, no, I'm going to be the comic that talks honestly about his life wherever it is. That's what you do. Thank you. And so when I saw you doing that stuff, I thought, yeah, she's doing it her way.

And it's funny, and it's her life. That's great. All I can do is talk about my life. Yeah. So if you want to see, a really good special. It's called Ugly Baby, and it's on YouTube,

and it's getting a lot of views. Yeah, it's good all right. Leave some nice comments on there. The Fungila podcast is available on all streaming platforms. And if you want to see live performances Starlight in L.A. on August 1st,

San Antonio. Then you're not working until October. Yeah, and that's even, that's my podcast tours. That's not even a stand-up tour. I'm just taking my podcast. Oh, all right. So it's really just this Saturday.

I'm going to do Katie's Club, Starlight. I'm going to do my favorite jokes from my last three specials. Yeah. And then I go back on the road in November. I'm starting to write, I have to write a new hour. So I'll go back in November in Louisville and Oklahoma City, I think. I don't even know if they're on my website. Are there my website?

Yeah, you're in Oklahoma City and Louisville. Yeah. Those are really my own standard things. But if you want to see the podcast date. will be in San Antonio, Austin, Houston, Dallas, the website. You got a pretty cool handle. It's just angela.com, right? Yeah.

A-N-J-E-L-A-H. There it is. Yeah. Yeah. I have thoroughly enjoyed this. I'm so happy that we finally got to meet after all these years. I know. I know.

Thank you. Yeah. Thank you for having me on your podcast. You're welcome.