Fitzdog Radio - Derrick Stroup (Fitzdog Radio #1131) | Greg Fitzsimmons

Episode Date: March 20, 2026

Subscribe to Greg Fitzsimmons: https://bit.ly/subGregFitz Alabama comic Derrick Stroup joins Greg Fitzsimmons to talk about his new Netflix special produced by Nate Bargatze, his rapid rise in stand-up, and life on the road performing every weekend. The two get into Comedy Cellar initiation stories, Southern stereotypes, music debates, and the realities of balancing career momentum with fatherhood and health challenges. Plus, Greg shares highlights from his St. Patrick’s Day show before wrapping things up with a round of Fastballs with Fitz. This episode is brought to you by Tempo — fresh, chef-crafted, dietitian-approved meals delivered straight to your door and ready in just two minutes. Go to tempomeals.com/fitzdog for 60% off your first box. This show is produced by Gotham Production Studios and part of the Gotham Network. https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/studios/ Follow Greg Fitzsimmons: Facebook: https://facebook.com/FitzdogRadio Instagram: https://instagram.com/gregfitzsimmons Twitter: https://twitter.com/gregfitzshow Official Website: http://gregfitzsimmons.com Tour Dates: https://bit.ly/GregFitzTour Merch: https://bit.ly/GregFitzMerch “Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons” Book: https://amzn.to/2Z2bB82 “Life on Stage” Comedy Special: https://bit.ly/GregFitzSpecial Listen to Greg Fitzsimmons: Fitzdog Radio: https://bit.ly/FitzdogRadio Sunday Papers: http://bit.ly/SundayPapersPod Childish: http://childishpod.com Watch more Greg Fitzsimmons: Latest Uploads: https://bit.ly/latestGregFitz Fitzdog Radio: https://bit.ly/radioGregFitz Sunday Papers: https://bit.ly/sundayGregFitz Stand Up Comedy: https://bit.ly/comedyGregFitz Popular Videos: https://bit.ly/popGregFitz About Greg Fitzsimmons: Mixing an incisive wit with scathing sarcasm, Greg Fitzsimmons is an accomplished stand-up, an Emmy Award winning writer, and a host on TV, radio and his own podcasts. Greg is host of the popular “FitzDog Radio” podcast (https://bit.ly/FitzdogRadio), as well as “Sunday Papers” with co-host Mike Gibbons (http://bit.ly/SundayPapersPod) and “Childish” with co-host Alison Rosen (http://childishpod.com). A regular with Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Kimmel, Greg also frequents “The Joe Rogan Experience,” “Lights Out with David Spade,” and has made more than 50 visits to “The Howard Stern Show.” Howard gave Greg his own show on Sirius/XM which lasted more than 10 years. Greg’s one-hour standup special, “Life On Stage,” was named a Top 10 Comedy Release by LA Weekly. The special premiered on Comedy Central and is now available on Amazon Prime, as a DVD, or a download (https://bit.ly/GregFitzSpecial). Greg’s 2011 book, Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons (https://amzn.to/2Z2bB82), climbed the best-seller charts and garnered outstanding reviews from NPR and Vanity Fair. Greg appeared in the Netflix series “Santa Clarita Diet,” the Emmy-winning FX series “Louie,” spent five years as a panelist on VH1’s “Best Week Ever,” was a reoccurring panelist on “Chelsea Lately,” and starred in two half-hour stand-up specials on Comedy Central. Greg wrote and appeared on the Judd Apatow HBO series “Crashing.” Writing credits include HBO’s “Lucky Louie,” “Cedric the Entertainer Presents,” “Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher,” “The Man Show” and many others. On his mantle beside the four Daytime Emmys he won as a writer and producer on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” sit “The Jury Award for Best Comedian” from The HBO Comedy Arts Festival and a Cable Ace Award for hosting the MTV game show "Idiot Savants." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When West Jet first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion, inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board. Here's to Westjetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. Okay, when I sell my business, I want the best tax and investment advice. I want to help my kids, and I want to give back to the community.

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in-demand fields. Learn more at aboutamazon.ca. Hi, welcome to Fitzdog Radio. I'm Greg Fitzsimmons, your host. I'm coming here from Green Lab Studios here in Beverly Wood, California. It's about five miles south. No, two miles south of West Hollywood. Still pretty gay. We're keeping it gay here in the studio. I had a big St. Patrick's Day show, the whole gang from Green Lab Studios was there. Daniel was not there. But Paul, who owns the place, was there. And he was feeling good.

He was feeling good. He had substances in him. And Doug Benson, who's our resident pothead comedian, found Paul in the audience. And they had a very funny back and forth. Amber Easton, who is one of our producers, was there. She hosted the show. She did a beautiful job.

Everybody loved her. And it was a good green room hang, I thought, wasn't it? Yeah. We had Nick Swartson was in there and Sarah Silverman and Doug and Brad Williams was so fucking great. To have a dwarf on your St. Patrick's Day show, it's like, I don't know what else to say. It's like having Chris Rock during Black History Month on your pod. Can we work on that? Anyway, Brad was very funny.

Some guy was wearing a Lucky Charms hat, and he goes, my culture is not your fashion. And then he leaped in the air. We have some great photos I'm going to post today that they took at the, but I love it. Look, I love, Sarah Silverman. I've known her since we were 23 years old. And she has always been the coolest kid in the room because she doesn't try to be cool.

She's just a fucking goofball. and she's dirty and she's like a dude. She's like a hot dude. I love it. So she hung out for a long time. Anyway, St. Patrick's Day. I started this show 20 years ago. I started doing it at the Hollywood Improv because there is no St. Patrick's Day in L.A.

It's just ignored. So I made a night where we could play some Irish music and usually we have Irish soda bread. And last year we had live music. But I got a little lazy this year. But then I went to college in Boston. I grew up in New York marching with my grandfather with the ancient order of Hibernians, which is really the IRA. And we would march and we would drink.

And I was a teenager. I was the teenager who was pissing on mailboxes at four in the afternoon. And then I went to school in Boston. And that parade is insane because it's in South Boston, which is the all-Irish section of Boston. Well, there's a few. but that's the main one. And they have kind of an open-door policy.

The parade goes on for hours, and everybody opens their door, and you can literally walk in and out of everybody's house. They all have a bar set up. They got food set up. It's incredible. So I was coming up, I was coming back, I guess, from spring break from New York on a Greyhound,

back up to school, back up to Boston. And I bring a six-pack, which is what I would usually do, and I sit in the back row, and I sit next to this girl, pretty hot girl, pretty face. And I split the six-pack with her, and then we made out, which was a good ride up. And so then we got there, and she went to Boston College. I went to BU. So we got off at different stops, and I got her number, and then I invited her to the St. Patrick's Day

parade, which was like the next week. So she shows up, I meet her down in Southie, and she shows up, and I see her, and just so cute, such a cute face, huge ass. I didn't see it. She was seated the whole ride up, and I had no idea. And I look, I like a big ass, but this thing was like rotund. This was medieval. This was like the ass of a fucking, you know, like a Honduran in the Bronx. And so we had fun at first. And then I started to realize that she's kind of a douche. Like she was like, why are the firemen all marching and they're hanging out in bars? Like, what if there's a fire? And then there was like people on the roof partying. What if somebody falls off the roof?

And then she's like, there's no black people. I'm like, yeah, that's the point. It's St. Patrick's Day. Can we get a break? Can we get one day off? No, I'm kidding, but that is the attitude in South Boston. So what? So there's no black people for one day. Can we get over that?

So anyway, we went to this one house. We're walking in and out of houses and we go into one. And it's some real, like, gangster, whitey bulger, hard-ass dudes. You know, just all Celtics jackets and scully caps, like the one I'm wearing. and she was a little nervous, but she had to take a piss, and so she asked if she could use the bathroom. And I go, I don't know if that's good a day. She's like, no, I really got to go.

So she went to the bathroom, and I left. I fucking left her. I was like, I'm done. I'm trying to enjoy my St. Patrick's Day. So I don't know whatever happened to her. She's still out there. Colleen was her name, which is why I invited her. Hey, Colleen, how'd that piss go?

All right. coming up janesville wisconsin this weekend i will be at the comedy cabin that's march 20th and 21st baker's field at the well april 18th in here in california escondito april 24th 25th and then i'll be up there in boston laugh boston on may 29th and 30th then i got some gigs up in new hampshire and main go to fitzdogg.com get some tickets also i want to remind you guys that uh spring is here you want to spend more time outside, less time in the kitchen. That's why we have got for you, tempo meals. Oh, they deliver them to your home, but it's not like a block of ice. It's not a brick that you need to put for nine minutes in boiling water and then microwave for an hour and a half. That's

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They may. What are the restrictions? I mean, you can't eat with your hands. All right. So listen, my guest today is a guy who is just blowing up. He is touring the country hard. He's a guy out of Alabama originally. You'll hear that in his accent in just a few seconds.

A very funny dude Here's my interview with Here with Derek Stroop All right I'm joined this afternoon by this big guy With a big smile Got a little bit of product in his hair

Derek Strupe Talk to me about the grooming of the hair What goes into it? You know I did good morning L.A. Oh, you did? Aren't they great? They were the best I mean I was trying to keep up with them

How hot is Jen? I can't remember which one that was. All three of them were doing well. Yeah. Yeah. They were so kind, and we had a blast. I mean, I put gel in my hair to perform on stage, but if I'm just bouncing around doing a podcast,

I'd usually have a hat on or something. But now you've got a little gel? A little gel. Yeah, like a pomade. Right. You know, that kind of clay, sticky stuff. I'll use a little bit of it. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, it's fun. I usually use like a... Yeah. Fucking laugh at me. Yeah. Well, the hat makes a lot more sense. Yeah, I get that. I had fun. I'm going to have fun with your hair. Enjoy it while you have it, man.

Yeah, that's right. How old are you now? 41. A little gray in the beard. Yeah, yeah, just now getting there. Yeah. Right on time. Yeah, it seems right. I like the opening description of me is like it was perfect. Like if somebody couldn't see, they could have their eyes closed and they know what they were looking at.

Well, actually, a lot of my listeners are listeners. because I started 15 years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of my people, they listen instead of watch. That was like a great, like, as you were described, I was like, that's perfect. We got this big guy with the product in his hair. Yeah.

That's fun. Yeah, I mean, I also think I want you to know how people see you. I think that's important. Yeah, that's, I don't get enough of that. No, you're right. You're right. In New York City, I get a good idea. Hey, you fat!

Yeah, I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. I'm a little overweight. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. was in the way, you know? Or you walk into the comedy seller and Bobby Kelly and Keith Robinson. They'll explain to you a lot about yourself. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Was there a moment, because I know you're a seller guy now, was there a moment? Because a lot of comics talk about, you know, you moved to New York. Obviously, there's a million comics. And, you know, once you get into the A rooms, it's like, it's a big deal. And they say you know you're in at the

seller when that table in the corner starts shitting on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there a moment where that happened for you? Yeah, I mean, there was, they've eased into it. I mean, I got it pretty heavy, like my second week there, Chris Rock sat beside me, and he torched me. He did? I mean, my accent went on trial.

I mean, we got to a point to where he was talking about, he was like, I won't even give white bankers my money. And then he stopped, and he goes, I think your accent has triggered this rant. and I was just sitting there. I didn't have anything to say back, but it was quite the introduction. So, yeah, yeah. But they're pretty, you know, they're pretty nice to me. That culture has changed a little bit from what I hear.

I wish that I could have been around kind of that old seller culture. Some people are like, no, you wouldn't, Derek, but they don't know me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you can take care of yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm a little feisty and competitive, and I like that environment. But, yeah, I've hung out with Keith and those guys. and they're not shy to tell you exactly what they think about you.

No, and that's the other thing I say about if you really want to know who you are, get on a roast. Be one of the roasters. That's right. And you will, like, people say to me things that, like, I usually thought like, all right, maybe I'm skinny, I'm pale, I'm bald. Okay, not AIDS. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I get AIDS a lot. That's a tough stray to catch, my man.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I, you know, my stuff's like, you know, pretty low-hanging fruit. They're going to talk about me yelling on stage and that sort of thing. They're like, well, Derek doesn't have to worry about writing anything. If the joke doesn't work, he'll just yell it at them. So, yeah, nobody's safe.

Nobody's safe. Yeah, yeah. Well, was Wade always in, I'm not saying it's an issue now. No, it is. It is. But was it, were you a kid? Were you a plump kid? No, no, I was like athletic, like thick kids.

not like fat, like just an athlete. Play football? Play football, basketball, baseball. I mean, yeah, yeah. And now I was such a good basketball player that I won't talk about it now because I can't watch people's faces change as I try to tell them what I was capable of.

Like, it's like such a leap for them to wrap their heads around. Well, leap wasn't the word that came into my head when you said to play basketball. Yeah, and it's like, and I can get worked up because I was a hooper. and, you know, nobody, it's not fun to even talk about because it's like, it doesn't matter anymore, but yeah, I, uh, I probably, I gained the most weight probably like in the past, I would say like three to four years.

No shit. Yeah, yeah. Living in New York. Well, no, just like a few different variables, but, uh, just not taking care of myself. Living on the road, you know, like, I've been just been pounding clubs. I mean, I very rarely take off and, you know, I'm eating at midnight every night. Yeah. I've got sensitive taste buds.

It's very slow metabolism, tough combo. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's tough because you're in a comedy club. It's all deep fried shit that comes in a basket. 100%. And there's no vegetables. That's right.

And a lot of times they put you in a hotel where there's no restaurant and you're not close to restaurants. No. I was like, did you guys factor in when you booked me at this hotel that I might need meals at some point? Yeah. I mean, it puts you on an island. Now you're Uber eating Taco Bell and there's just there's no way you're going to make it out alive with that. Right. Yeah, but I've gotten recently, you know, in this new hour that I'm building, I've talked, I've gotten into fitness.

I look at you trying to bring in your plug for your, we'll get to it. No, no, that's not what I'm trying to. Truly, that was the segue was in this new hour. I've started to run. I've started to eat healthier in the past month and that sort of thing. That's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's great.

It'll end soon, but. But you're also like, I mean, I'll read some of your dates later, but like, dude, you're on the road every week for a year. Yeah, that's right. I mean, finally somebody said it. Yeah, I'm out there every weekend of my life. Jesus. Yeah.

Now, has it been like that for a while? Yeah, I mean, it is. I write on stage a lot. I'm addicted to the progress I see when I commit myself to being on stage that much. Right, right. I can't say that, you know, the big push I've made in the past several years wasn't because I have just, I have a microphone in my hand. all week, every week.

Yeah. And it's paid off. And that doesn't work for everybody. Depends on what ceiling you got. But that formula is working for me. Now, I just had a baby and all that. So I'm trying to learn how to balance. Yeah, six months ago, we had our first baby boy.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. Super exciting. And your partner, are you married? I am. I am. I am married. Why do you say partner?

Are you guys both trans or something? No, I don't think I thought about it. I mean, I did come up in the day. Denver scene. So for a Southern comic, there's not victims in my jokes. I'm very conscious about how I say things. Uh-huh. And I'm very aware of how people receive this accent. Yes. And so I love flipping the script on people because people hear me talk and they go, I got him nailed. And then I'm able to flip it and go, you just did to me, what you hate that people do to everybody else. Right. And now here we are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's the thing about

the Southern accent is, and I perform in the same. South a lot. I was just in Texas for two weeks. Absolutely. And it's amazing how much more open-minded. Like you live in L.A. These fucking people. And these are successful, smart people I know in the industry. And they talk

about the South, and they literally say the word dumb. Yeah, oh yeah. And it's like, when's the last time you were in fucking Lexington, Kentucky? Absolutely. Yeah. I wish people would look up the authors that have come out of the state of Alabama. Just look at the list. I mean, there's some

tough political history, but we are reading a lot. And I love that, though. I love that you brought that up. That's the chip on my shoulder. I mean, in the cellar, I do it all the time. I'll make fun of myself at first to make them feel comfortable, and then I'm coming after them. I'm kind of making fun of what they thought about me, what they assumed about me. So it's fun to talk like this and to be much smarter than what they anticipate. I've got all the leverage. When you grew up, obviously one of the biggest beefs in music history besides the East Coast West Coast rap was Neil Young and Leonard Skinner. That's right. Sweet Home Alabama. It's in the song. And then Neil Young's was just called Alabama, right? That's right. Yeah, yeah. So how did, was that something when you were

growing up, did you guys were like, fuck Neil Young? No, I didn't grow up, like, conscious of that situation or like cared about that situation. Like I didn't get that deep into it. Thank goodness. I was just listening to the music just to listen to it. But we weren't like sitting around like, you know, screw nil. We're not listening to, you know, that didn't happen. I do love Leonard Skinner.

Of course you do. Yeah, yeah. But it's not like, I'm not listening to Freebird thinking anything political. Yeah. And that's an assumption that people might make, which is just crazy. I'm just listening to music. That's actually interesting you say that because you ever see those reaction videos when they have people listen to a song for the first time and the cameras on them.

I love that. There's a black guy that listens to Sweet Hs and Free Bird. It's the best one. Yeah, it's so good. I actually, I love those videos. I've seen several of them, but that is probably the best one. He's like, he's as free as a bird. Man, he's free as bird now.

I mean, you hear what this guy's saying? He's free as bird. Yeah, I love it. I love it. Yeah, that's one of those. songs that, you know, we've all been burned out on certain classic rock. Like, I can't listen to Bob Seeger ever again in life. And, you know, Paul's going to see the Eagles.

On my hand, when the Eagles come on my radio, I actually pull a muscle sometimes trying to get my hand to the dial fast enough. I get that. You just heard it so much. I'm not saying they're not great songs. Yeah, I get that. But when I hear Freebird come on the radio, really any, give me three steps, like. Freebird, I'm changing the channel too, though.

Freebird? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard it a trillion times. Supermive, but come on, man. Well, we were just on the, I was joining you and changing it when it gets on Freebird, then you flipped on me. I thought we were changing the channel together. I was talking about it. And then I go, yeah, I'd change it too, and you go, what a monster.

What do you think? What's going on here? What a beast. You Alabama people really are all the same. Geez. Now, listen, the Eagles are different than Leonard Skinner. Yeah, no, I mean. They're soft.

ass California, quote-unquote rock. Skinnerd is fucking Southern rock. Of course. And it's an anthem. Here's that. If it's halfway through the song, I'll change it. Because you've got to go for the whole ride. Yeah, I like that a lot.

There's three-act play. There is. There is. And all of it's important to the buildup. Yes. Because it's got such a build. And then at the end, he's free. And so are you.

What a ride. Yeah. I'm with you. Now, what you don't, you're not going to talk about, this is a little bit more niche as a southerner. The band Alabama, okay? Those are my boys. Okay. They're like the Oak Ridge boys, but a little bit further south.

If you've never heard them, they harmonize beautifully. Yeah, sure. I mean, they really, I mean, it's these guys and they're Fort Payne, Alabama, Randy Owens, the lead singer. They're the best. Now, that's probably my all-time favorite band. But on a, you know, a nationwide scale, they're not going to be quite as big as Leonard Skinnered. but the band Alabama is worth to listen. Your listeners all know who they are.

Alabama's great. Who's your favorite gay musician? Oh, not even close. It's Elton John. Yeah. I used to, when I would pre-drink in college, I would play the Elton John live in concert where he has the red piano.

And, I mean, it would... Is it a video or audio? Yeah, yeah, it was like a CD video. I would bounce between that and Garth Brooks Live. It just depended on the night, you know, how I was feeling that night. But, I mean, Saturday night's all right for fighting. I mean, that song was, I mean, I'm a big Elton John fan.

I don't know anything about the piano, but I love when he plays it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Huge Elton John fan. Yeah, he's one of those guys. There's some songs I'll change, but I think top ten songs of all time is a funeral for a friend. That one that starts out just on piano, and by the end it's just a fucking swelling. Oh, man.

That is a masterpiece. It really is. I mean, there's so many, I mean, when you listen to a catalog of music, there's a lot of times I'll bounce around, but with Elton, I'll go on the whole journey. I really don't change much. I mean, what's it called your song?

Yeah. I mean, his lyrics all feel like that they were written with intention. Yes. Not like, here's a catchy tune that I think the charts will love. I love listening to a song that it's like, this is for a love of mine, this is for Peter.

We've separated, but what we had at one point was unreal. Hit it, Rick. You know, now we're in some feelings. Yeah, well, you know, Bernie Taupin wrote the lyrics, and he would basically send them to Elton John. And Elton would just sit there with the words and fucking just come up with the music. And so every people, like my best friend, Mike Gibbons,

shits on Bernie Top, and he thinks he doesn't like the lyrics. I think the lyrics are amazing. But a lot of people shit on Elton John's lyrics. I've seen that in a Reddit thread. It was a tough one to come across. So, I know. Well, I'm out here telling everybody it's brilliant. And they're like, anybody that thinks this is brilliant is an idiot.

And I go, whoop, that hurt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm with you. We're in sync on this one. I like that. But, so basically, Elton John was on stage one time, and there was a Q&A going on. And somebody in the audience walked up with an assembly manual for an oven. Yeah.

And they said, play a song to this. Wow. And he started playing chords, and he sang a melody to the instruction manual to an oven. And it was kind of as good as anything Burma ever did. It was amazing. You got to find that online. I love that that was a moment that you got to see without the lyrics, and that was just Elton's music, right? Going with some random words.

That's funny. It's kind of like when Tom Brady left Belichick and you go, oh, I thought it was the other way. I thought it was the other way. Hey, hey, come on. Right, right. We're connecting dots. Yeah, I think Belichick, is that why he didn't get into the Hall of Fame this year? You know, I think there was something deeper and more per-I think it was about the cheating a long time ago.

And they just wanted to. What, the inflate gate thing? I think it was. That was so minor. It was, but there was also some videoing. There was a few things that got brought up. And I think that they kind of meant it as a, because he's going to go to the Hall of Fame. But I think it's a slap on the wrist, street justice, if you will, by other owners.

to go, we know these things happened. We think, and they're not going to go public with it because it all gets messy, that you won a Super Bowl by some advantages. And this is how we're going to push back because the only thing that we can do is make you a second ballot and take the first ballot from you.

That's just me. If I was on talk radio, that'd be the angle I'd take. Because statistically, you can't argue what this guy has accomplished. Absolutely not. It's crazy. His record's unreal. So many Super Bowls.

That's why I think that it was a little bit of street justice. They wanted to rough him up a little bit, just go, hey, we know what happened. We just want you to know that. But still, here's the respect to the Hall of Fame, but not on the first time. I think they're a little creeped out by the 27-year-old girlfriend, too. Well, that checks out. I don't know if you take that out on a Hall of Fame voting, but that is kind of weird. It is really weird.

It is. I know that social gatherings can't be, you know, completely comfortable on that. You know what I mean? Well, what do you talk about? You can't talk to them as a couple. You can only, you can split them up and talk individuals. You're right here. You're with Belichick. You got a little fiber conversation. You go over here, it's TikTok. You know, it'd be a tough balance, you know. Yeah, there's no TikTok videos about fiber. No, no, no. No, they're two separate worlds. There might be an avenue there, but yeah.

How old is your partner? Are we saying wife or partner? Yeah, wife's fine. I just learned that I said partner in a special nine minutes ago. I forgot. I didn't even know. My wife, Alyssa, she's 32. Ooh, and you're 41? I am. I am. Yeah. That's a pretty good grab. Yeah, that is a good grab. But that's, you know, that's not something that I, like, strategically played out. It just worked out really well. Did you meet? Was she in the audience when you met her? No, she was not.

No. It was probably worse. We worked together. Your little manager-employee combo at the retail store. Who is the manager? Oh, come on. You big dog. You know what I mean?

Yeah. I was running the warehouse, you know? Yeah. And classic love story from a retail store. You know, you bump into each other on aisle three type thing. But, yeah, that's where our love started. And I was glad, you know, that my love started. You know, that meant a lot to me.

That was like eight years ago. It was the last day job that I had. But since so much has changed in my life, I was glad that she met me then, you know, before things. Because I was just, I mean, I was the assistant store manager at a big lot. Yeah. There's no way that she was like, I'm investing in this guy because we have long-term money coming out of way. Right, right. You know, she was like, you know, this chubby guys got some edge.

Well, and you were thinner back then. I was. I was about 40 pounds lighter. and your boy was, I was some trouble 40 pounds lighter. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, because you're not a bad looking guy.

Thank you. Thank you. You're pretty eyes. Yeah, it's like a good looking guy got stung by bees. You know what I mean? You go, that guy's very handsome and he needs some Benadryl to get him back to where we had him. Now, you're not going to fuck with the Ozempic, are you? Or is this not?

I tried it. I tried it for four months, and this is not, I mean, I did it for four months. I lost seven pounds. Yeah. That's it. The doctor was like, you're the only person that's, like, kind of beat Ozimic. But I had some edibles really pushing against science on the other side. So it was a cocktail of edibles with Ozempic?

Every night at midnight, I would just take, like, 80 milligrams. Just drone strike my Ozimic, and it didn't stand a chance. I'm serious. I mean, they're gagging, eating brownies, okay? Dude, you should make an animated short about your body at midnight. Oh, yeah, just show my stomach. Yeah, yeah. Like the edibles in there with a Grateful Dead shirt.

just beating the heck out of this lab suit. Yeah. And the OZepig is like a trainer. He's like a trainer in spandex. I love the thought of illustrating that. But that's true, though. So you lost eight pounds and you said, was there a downside?

Because I hear you don't want to drink as much on it. I don't drink. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I'm just an edibles guy. Right. And so I didn't run into that. There was, I felt every day that I took the shot from the first day I felt the worst.

as I got further away, I would feel better each day. Right. And then so by the time you were feeling normal again, it was time for your next shot. A lot of fun. Let's discuss erections. Was there any effect on those? I would say in a good way. Really?

Yeah, like the other way. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, and it might have been just maybe it was controlling my diet or something like that. I don't know. But yeah, I'm pretty sure my wife, she might have got pregnant while I was on Ozimic. I wonder if that'll make a smaller baby. Yeah, I don't know. If you saw Seth, I mean, he's healthy.

Is he? Yeah, he's in a 90 percentile. I don't know what he's doing right now, but I guarantee it's eating. Yeah, yeah. He's a big boy. And was it natural delivery or was it? Natural. Yeah, yeah. That's great, man. It is great. Yeah. And so is it tough being on the road now with the baby? Yeah, it's brutal. She sent me a picture earlier, and I mean, it really was like a gut punch.

It's like hard to get not to get emotional sometimes because, He's at that age where things are changing so fast. Every time I see him, he looks a little different. Right. So, yeah, there's no denying that, you know, my wife hates when I say this, but it was a lot easier to leave before he got here, you know. No, I missed the first year of my kid's life. I freaked out because I was like, I'm going to need money.

I got a kid through college. So I just, I call my agent. I took every date he offered me. And my wife, after a year, she's like, hey, we got to talk about this, you know. So, I mean, I think you're in a place now. you've done a couple tonight shows you got this Netflix special you're fucking selling tickets on the road

and you're going to be in a position where you can start to dictate your schedule a little bit more I'm looking forward to that yeah I've got some theater dates in the second half of the year oh that's good yeah and that's just shorter weekends right you know if I can just go out on a Friday and Saturday and come home now I mean I do the crazy I mean I'll do

Thursday through Saturday then I'll do another club and another city on Sunday now I've done six seven shows on the weekend yeah it's a crazy pace to... So how long you've been making real money? I would say three years. Okay. Yeah. I would say three years is when I started making, making real money. Yeah. I was an opener. I came up the way that you should, and a lot of people used to... Well, you open for me. Yeah, open for you. I opened for Josh Blue, Bert Kreischer, a bunch of different people before I came up and really got to... Did you

tour with them? Yeah, I toured, I mean, I did several, you know, probably five or six cities with Josh. John Christ was a guy that I went out with for probably three years. He was a Christian comic. He was a Christian comedy, but I am clean. So I was the, you know, the palate cleanser up top. And that's where I kind of learned to step around landmines, weren't learned how to talk to crowds and tell jokes that worked in any room.

Because I never wanted to be pigeonholed as a Christian comedian because I'm not. But I wanted to be able to tell clean jokes or, you know, my version of clean, nothing too vulgar in every room. Are you vulgar offstage? I can be, yeah, I've got a little bit of a mouth on me. Yeah, yeah. Not like over the time. I'm just, you know, I cuss in conversation like adults do, but I'm not like a totally different brand of person. You ever been arrested?

Yeah, yeah, I got two DUIs. No, I'm a real comedian, man. Oh, that's right, you don't train. Yeah, I have, but I got those. Those are like stripes when you're a comedian, those DUIs. Yeah, yeah. Like a merit badge when you're a voice gal. 16 years ago, I got two DUIs in six months.

So do they take your license away? Yeah, just for a short amount of time, but I never drove again after that. Really? Yeah, it was just so traumatizing. I'd never even had a speeding ticket, and I got two DUIs in six months, and I say this on stage, and it's true. I say six months because it sounds better than four. But, yeah, and so they were very upset. I mean, they were very mad.

That's why I moved to Colorado. Who's that? The police? The justice system, the whole thing. Were they going to put you in jail for the second one? I mean, the second one, it came down. The first one I got was in Alabama, and it was like Mayberry. Like they brought me in, they didn't put me in the cell.

They like brought me pecan pie, and they were like, you can't drive drunk. You can't kill somebody, you know? And then they just like, let me go. And then I got one outside of Atlanta, Georgia, and they were pissed. Yeah, that's a different experience. It was. And I had a really good case. I got my second DUI and a parking lot of a web.

and a vehicle that I honestly wasn't going to drive. I was heating up the vehicle, truly, and the cop came over and was like, I know that there's a wedding. We've been out here all night. We were going to take it to trial, but the DA and the judge told us if we took it to trial because they knew we had a good case that they wanted max penalties on their side. So that would have been five years prison. It would probably have been closer to two after the dust settled.

You weren't driving. Isn't that a PUI parking under the influence? The keys were in the ignition. That's all it takes. That's all it takes. That's all it takes. And when she walked up to the window, I led with, because this is, I mean, I was also very drunk, but I go, oh, I'm not driving anywhere. I don't even have a license.

I go, I go, I just got a DUI. I can't pull this car out of here. And she's like, okay, listen here. Come here. Foghorn, leghorn. Let's talk about this. And so then, you know, it just went downhill from there. But it's really, in hindsight, and I mean this, and it's crazy.

but it changed my life and my direction. It changed a little bit of who I was at my core. It, like, woke me up. I was so, you know, it's interesting to do this, but I was so mad. I mean, with myself, but a lot of people just immediately quit on me. You get two DUIs that quick. You lose your car.

You lose your home. It pissed me off. And then I kind of became a very obsessed, determined person where I was like, I'm going to move to Colorado. I'm going to try to chase this comedy. And these people are going to pay for what they've done. and what they do, nothing. I was the one that drove.

But I kind of tricked myself into making this like a big revenge story. Yeah. But I created the whole situation. Well, I think all change comes from bottoming out. You know, that's why I got kids that are 25 and 22. And I really did. We made a very conscious choice as parents to go,

let them fuck up. Yeah. Let them get in trouble because, like, you know, they're going to, you're going to just get a kid who is going to, you know, don't give a soft landing. No. I got arrested. a few times. Yeah. And it definitely changed me as well. Absolutely. For sure. It does. I haven't had a drink in

36 years. Oh, good for you. Yeah. Quite the run. One night. I drank one night. Yeah. You remember Kevin Meaney? Yeah, yeah. So he was one of my best friends and he died and his night of his funeral I drank and that was it in 36 years. Yeah, well, that is the most excused. Yeah. I mean, I get that. That was truly for your boy and you were having a night. Yeah. And that's different than like a relapse to me. Right. You know, and so, yeah, that's totally different. I mean, I didn't even quit drinking because of the DUIs.

I quit drinking like four years ago, and I got an autoimmune disease and got on steroids. I eventually became pretty responsible with alcohol. Wait a minute, so you have AIDS too? No, no, no, no. Sarkloidosis. I got the Bernie Mac autoimmune disease. Does that what he died? Yeah, eventually cardiac arrest, which comes from sarcoidosis.

But, you know, what's crazy is, like, my doctor told me, and I've heard that sarcoid Dosis is predominantly in black males. Very rarely, I mean, I had a doctor tell me I was the only white patient he'd ever had, which, you know, it feels like being the only white guy to get sickle cell, which is kind of cool. But it's like not normally with white guys. Right. And so it's very interesting that I have that autoimmune disease. It's not exclusive, but, you know, usually you're born with it more than getting it later.

Right. Yeah. So what's the treatment? Well, I'm pregnant a zone, when I wasn't going to bring this up because it sounds, but when I got on pregnosone, I've been on it. That's an anti-inflammatory, right? It's like the, it's one of the strongest, over the, you know, one of the strongest drugs you can be prescribed. I think it's, it might be a steroid as well. I can't. Yeah, yeah.

So I took high dosage long term, which some doctors find to be a little bit controversial because it's such a hard drug on your body. Like when I took it for the first time, two years ago, I gained 25 pounds in my stomach just like blew up. Yeah, but it's like when you share that with people, it's like telling people you don't run because you don't like trees or something. It sounds like the biggest excuse in the world. But the reason they worry about Pregnazone is not only does it make you run at a higher clip like it, you very easily agitated and I don't need that, but it also causes severe weight gain. And it did that for me. I had to get on it again like four months ago and my doctor was just I mean there's other things that can work but

nothing quite works for me like pregnosone does and it's just horrific for you. So is this like is this something you're concerned that you'll die of? No not die of no I mean it's going after I've never talked about this on a podcast. I have euvitis from the sarcoidosis because when I first got it I didn't know what it was autoimmune diseases wear a lot of disguises. So I went down this rabbit hole and I got on Google and I put in my symptoms and true story it was like you're in a lot of trouble like your left clavicle lymph node right here is swollen 90% of the time unless you have some very unique lung disease which I did but 90% of the time that's a cancer or something in your body is reacting in a bad way because it wouldn't go away right just right here and so I spent

about seven to eight months completely convinced I was dying yeah I did JFL in 2003 murdered went to my hotel room and bawled my eyes out for like two hours because I thought I can't believe that's the last performance that I'm ever going to do like that big of a performance I could not believe that I was given a talent and this life and it was all going to end so young I I felt death to me was as real as it could get I was walking around with my my wife in the mall and I couldn't believe she was going to have another lover I was deep I was completely off the edge and then I lost my vision it was starting to fade in my right eye I was in Calgary Canada and this left eye went blurry.

And so now I couldn't see. So I went to the emergency room because I had nowhere else to run. Because that could be a stroke. Yeah, well, when I walked in and I still sometimes, it might be right now, I'll have one pupil larger than the other. And when people see it in videos and stuff,

they just go crazy. They're like, you're in trouble. You got one pupil larger, because sometimes it'll really blow up and it's from the Uvitis. So very long story short, I go to the emergency room. They panic when I come in.

One pupil's larger than the other. I tell them my vision's completely gone. My wife said the nurse's faces were horrific. So they run me in emergency MRI. They pumped me full of all the, you know, the... That looks like fun. Yeah, the viewers couldn't see that. It was a jackoff motion, but I meant like fluids into my veins so they could run the MRI.

Fluids in, not out. Yeah, that's right. And it took five months of testing. I was at National Jewish in Denver. I got very lucky, number one respiratory hospital in America. and they eventually got to the bottom of it that it was sarcoidosis. Damn.

Yeah, my right eye, I got a full cataract. I can't see. I got a surgery coming up to get it fixed. It's a pregnosone cataract. If you get on pregnosone too many times, you can get a cataract in your eyes. So I can only see out of my left eye. Seriously?

I am very serious. See, that's the thing about a guy like you. You know, if you're a new comic, you see, you know, look at this guy. He's got it all going. He's selling out clubs, doing theaters. That's right. Special.

married baby and then I don't realize that like you're a mess yeah yeah yeah and you know what I'm glad that gets brought to light because all the time I'm on the road and I'm doing this and I'm like taking this medicine and I can't see out of my right eye and like all this other stuff and it's like I you know but when things are going this great nobody wants to hear that side of it not not even for a second no I think it's important they do because it's like you know we all know famous people I mean you're you're very tight with Nate Bergotsie yep and uh I mean uh I mean He doesn't talk about, I think, his issues, but, you know, you probably know, I don't know him that well. He probably has issues, you know.

Let's talk about him. I'll tell you everything wrong with Nate. Nate, I played a golf tournament with Nate about six months ago, and he won it. He's like a three handicap in golf. He's like phenomenal. Yeah. So he wins his tournament, and it was out here in L.A., and he won a brand-new golf bag that said Riviera Country Club. Oh, my goodness.

Which is the nicest club in all that. That's sick. And so he's like, I go, congrats on the bag. He goes, thanks, man. I go, you got bags at home? He's like, yeah, I got a lot of it. I go, you're going to check that in the luggage and bring it home? He's like, you want the fucking bag?

So that's my new bag. Oh, I love that. I didn't see that coming. You did it the right way. Yeah, yeah. You got a lot of bags, don't you? That'd be tough on a plane. Ugh.

Yeah. Do you golf? Oh, I love golf. Yeah, yeah. You play with Nate? I did. I just played with him. a couple days in a row in Vegas.

He's crazy, good. Yeah, he's great. Yeah. Yeah, we definitely don't share a cart. I can tell you that. I mean, he's not going to go look for my ball with me in the woods. Oh, he's going right up the middle of the fair way. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you need an ATV. Absolutely. Yeah, I come back and I go, you wouldn't believe how many cardinals are in that tree over there. And you come back and your cart is filled with lost balls. A hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah. Are you a golfer?

Yeah, I just played yesterday. I love that. Yeah, I love it. Isn't it such a fun game? It's just, you know what it is? Nobody's phone is on. Yeah. You're with three good buddies.

You're betting. You're busting each other's balls. You're in nature. I mean, even the golf is almost like, yeah, and we golfed. Yeah, yeah. No, you're so right. I feel the exact same way. And there's also, with all the ball busting, there's also your buddy makes a great shot.

You get this warm, fuzzy feeling when you go, that's what I'm talking about, Chris. That's a good shot. Yeah. That stuff, I think that's healthy. Yeah. I do. And also for me, I'm, I mean, I'm like a 16 handicapped. That's not bad. It's about the same as me. Yeah. But I'm just bad enough in my mind at golf that I don't think about anything besides golf while I'm doing it. There's very few things that I do in this life that, well, comedy and

golf, while I'm in that world, it's the only thing that's on my mind and it's so refreshing because there's so many other times where no matter what I'm doing, I'm not present. But I'm present when I'm holding a seven iron. It's also good because you're present in a way that I have ADHD, and golf is kind of good for that because you get to space out, shoot the shit, and then when you get to your ball, people with ADHD are able to hyper-focus for short periods of time. Yeah, that's exactly right. I stand over that ball and, like, I'm there.

Yeah. And then once I hit it, I'm back to, you know, relaxed again. Yeah, no, that's so true. That is the hyper-fixated for a short amount of time is the realest thing. thing ever because that happens on my phone. I mean, I can go down a rabbit hole quicker than anybody. People act like rabbit holes are a whole afternoon. Yeah. Give me 15 minutes. I'll be back. Right, right, right. Yeah. Well, that's great. A couple things I want to ask you about. You, hold on second page. Here we go. This is a thing we do. It's called Fastballs with Fits.

I like that. Yeah. All right. It's a segment. I mean, I've been doing this podcast a long time. Yeah, I know. I was excited that you were going to have me on. Oh, really? Yeah. I mean, I'm not going to act like I'm a avid listener, but I know this thing's been around since podcasts weren't relevant, which I think is so cool. Well, I tried to keep that spirit going, even though I've been doing 15 years. I'm not a podcast guy. I don't have a podcast. I don't listen to a lot of podcasts, but I love to do them. Yeah. Yeah, I love to talk. Well, you're good at them.

Conversate and hang out. I mean, I had no idea how this would go. Honestly, I don't remember meeting you because it was a lot of years ago. Yeah, yeah, and you wouldn't. they worked together one night. Yeah, and it was like a quick, I mean, I remember specifically asking for that show, and Friday and Saturday were already full, and so I took the only spot they had left on Thursday, and I was pumped. Was I nice? You were the nicest. Really? Yeah, and you killed, and after I got done, I went and sat in the back of the room and watched your entire set. That was

a great thing about coming up at Comedy Works is the best of the best come through there. Comedy Works in Denver is top two comedy clubs in the country. And I say top two, because if I say back, then another club is going to text me. You can't do it. What the fuck? So I would say top two. I like that. But Wendy Books, great shows.

The local comics are unbelievable. And the room physically is perfect. It's pie shaped with rising seats in the back. No bar in the room, low ceilings. And the seats are bolted to the ground. So literally everybody's facing you and they can't move. Absolutely. And there is not, you're hip to hip.

Yep. You're hip to hip. And that's the way it should be. I love how you described that. With the only thing that I'll add to it, what's fun about that pie shape is I always tell people the only way out of that room is through them. And I love that.

Because the way, they've kind of got you backed into a corner. Yeah, right. And it just feels like that this crowd has walked you into this corner, and now it's turned into a con, it's such a unique setup in that way. But you're right, the sound in there, I mean, it's like firecrackers in a metal barrel. I mean, it's loud.

And the problem with that setup, too, is there's tables on either side of the stage that are practically on stage. They are, yeah. On the left side. The left side especially. And the whole crowd is looking at those people. So I had this guy who was sitting next to the stage and he was drunk. I mean, I described this to you when you were coming in.

They're urban cowboys. That's right. They are. They're hip urban people, but they also have that spirit of they still got the snaps on their shirts and the cowboy. Yeah, yeah. And so this guy was kind of. kind of challenging me on every joke. And then his girlfriend told him to shut the fuck up.

Nice lady. And he grabbed her. Okay. We've got a real situation. And now the guy behind him grabs him. I like it. And now the bouncer run up. But extricating them from that is like getting the baby out of the well.

Holy smokes. So it got dragged through the club. And I'm on stage. They're basically on, people need to know they're on stage with you. That's crazy. Yeah. And so I just now. narrated it like I was at a prize.

I was Joe Rogan going like, well, he's got him in a left, he's got a pretty good choke cold going, and it went on for probably three full minutes before they were out. Three full minutes is a lifetime in that situation. Yeah, it is. That is brutal. You ever have somebody come at you on stage?

Probably not, with your size. No, no, and kind of the way I talk. I've had some people, you know, be a little rude, but not, you know, I'm not good at, I don't do any crowd work because I have an unfortunate tone. I just have a hard time engaging without it sounding like it's going to lead to me beating their ass I felt like that several times during this podcast

I mean we were talking about Leonard Skinner and the Eagles I really thought you were going to come out of that fucking chair I know I the the excitability is real I you know it's there it's boiling right underneath my skin yeah I see it you ever have road rage not like I'm not a I would like to say I draw the line I don't but I can do it from the passenger seat But I'm not like road rage where you're a psycho.

I will, I'm firing off things like verbally. Yeah. I'm not going to follow you down the street and try to get you out of your vehicle. Right. We got to draw the line there. Right. But yeah, you can see me in your mirror and I might be like. Right, right.

You know, something like that. But you have a joke in your special about you wave a guy in and he doesn't, he doesn't thank you. And I feel like I should follow him home. Yeah. And I would like to hope that people know that that's a joke. Yes. But, you know, I'm sure there's some people out there. They're like, no, it's my kind of man right there, man.

Yeah. Yeah, but I'm just giving you an idea on kind of, you know, my temperament. But in a vehicle, it's not as much. It feels different in a vehicle. You would maybe get more out of me person to person. If you were, like, very rude to me, you're going to, I'm going to respond. Like, I'll go, hey, buddy, what's your problem? No, you're not going to do that.

We're not going to do that. I am, I can be that way. You ever worked as a bouncer? I ran a bar for six years. I was the general manager. No shit. Yeah, but I doubled as a bouncer. You know, I would mix it up with the guys.

You got hurt throwing people out? No, because I had a... No, I never got hurt throwing people out. I'm pretty scrappy. I don't like... I would never fight today unless it was like, you know, somebody like pushed my son's stroller over, you know, but I can... How many of me do you think it would take to fight you?

that's such a fun question people are going to think i'm godzilla after this i'd say four to five yeah because the first version of you that comes up is going to be done with immediately yeah so but yeah that's the irish guy in the civil war yeah that's they did the irish would come over here as immigrants yeah and they got into ellis island they put them in fucking uniforms they send me to yeah i got a lot of irish blood and me too i come from my mom's maiden name sweeney oh no shit yeah yeah yeah are you uh did you celebrate st. Patrick's Day? Yeah, I mean, you know, I did with a bunch of Irish quotes that my aunts and uncles and all sent me and stuff, but I didn't go out and, like, have a pint or anything.

Yeah. I wore green on stage, you know, tip of the cap. So just racist quotes? Yeah. No, no, like racist quotes as wild. But no, more like Irish riddles. Like it's, you're lucky to be Irish. You're lucky enough. Like fun things, you know, fun things like that. Right, right. Yeah. My aunt sends me some crazy shit. Yeah. because we're like, I'm 99% Irish, Bronx Irish, all four grandparents. That is, that is, my great-grandparents are 100% Irish. Yeah. Yeah, but that, that, on my mom's side, my dad's side, we get a little Scottish over there.

Okay, well, you're great, wait, are your grandparents from there? Your great-grandparents from there? My great-grandparents. Okay, because if they're your grandparents, you can get Irish citizenship. No, no, it's my great-grandparents. Okay. My mom and Paul Sweeney from Big Chimney, West Virginia. Really?

Yeah, yeah. Big chimney. Yeah, there's a lot of Irish coal miners. That was a very common job. That's right. Yeah, it's the only time we ever got a tan. He asked me to set him up on that joke, which felt weird. But not the last time we've been in Blackface.

Where did you lose your virginity? I was in college, and I was, man, this is tough. I think it was Jake Walker's bedroom, and that was my roommate. Yeah, my room was a mess. And so his room, he kept it very clean. Did you pretend it was yours? Yeah, I did. And he had like cool like a mounted mallard on the wall and like camouflage comforter.

Yeah, yeah. And I go, here it is. Here we go. Yeah, and mine had like pizza rolls in the middle of the bed. But yeah, she did. She was none the wiser. And you guys were both college students? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uh-huh. Yeah. She went to a different school than I went to. She went to Auburn and I went to Jacksonville State. Was this a relationship or kind of? a one-night stand. It was after that. It was a relationship after that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's kind of what kicked it off. Yeah, I was a really good boy coming up. Like, when I first got to college, I never had sex, I never cussed. And I wasn't raised by parents that necessarily pushed that on me. My dad owned a bar at one time. My parents are, you know, very social, not super religious people. Yeah.

You know, my mother's family, very Catholic. So, you know, they'll go to church a few times a year. But nobody told me to not cuss or not drink. That was just kind of direction that I chose. And I wanted to be a pastor at one point. You did? Yeah, and then I joined a fraternity, and it all just totally changed. The opposite of a church.

Yeah, it is. Yeah, well, I mean, yeah, I saw God a few times, but not in the best setting. Yeah. But, yeah, that was kind of, you know, my journey. When's the last time you deeply apologized to somebody? The last time I deeply apologized to somebody. Oh, was a good friend of mine had sent me a couple encouraging text

that I had not gotten back to and he's just one of those friends that no matter how I am on my end he's always consistent He's always checking on me And one day I was looking at my phone Just a couple weeks ago Trying to catch up on everything

And I just, I had missed him two times in a row Just being encouraging and being a good friend And I send him an apology Not like, oh hey, what's up man? Sorry I missed those Just like I took that time to let him know that I do appreciate that he does those things.

And that I don't, I'm not responding because I don't care. And I let him know that I knew that it was an excuse and I was going to do better. But I wanted him to let him know that I appreciated that friendship. Nice. That's nice. Who's your best Asian friend?

My best Asian friend would be Holly Murdoch. She was my best friend in college. She's adopted Filipino. She's one of the funniest people ever met in my life. Really? Yeah, I used to call her white. trash in a brown bag.

And she's just, she's just so witty and smart and funny. Never romantic. Never romantic. Why? You know, I don't know. I begged. Oh, you did? I'm just kidding. No, Lord, no. No, we just didn't have that. Well, maybe calling her trash in a brown bag.

No, no, she's like the funniest, like, has the best sense of, our sense of humors, I mean, would make love. I mean, that's how, that's how in sync we were. But we just weren't ever physically attracted in that way. We would go out, get drunk, come home, sleep in the same bed. And this is a type of friendship that now she's married and she has a family. And I don't get to see her, but once every couple years. But I have a hard time articulating this relationship even to my wife. Because it's like, I could never describe Holly without describing her as just one of the greatest people on her. That's awesome. Yeah, she's the best. I love to ask that question because so few people have good Asian friends. And so it's just funny to watch them. worm. But you actually came right out of the gate with a good one. Yeah, and a sincere one.

Everybody always goes Bobby Lee. It's like, not everybody can say Bobby Lee. I'm going to tell you, if I had to, I might have, I would have panicked and made one up if I had to. This accent would have made me self-conscious. I'd have gone, oh, there you, hey, Jim Tom, what are you doing out there, buddy? I'd have just made something up. But Holly, she's the best. All right. Have you ever not finished a set on stage? Not finished a set. Like a, a, paid club set. Yeah. No.

No, not, not. You have to get paid. Yeah, yeah. I've, you know, on open mics and stuff, I've, a couple times I've walked off just because just the room was ridiculous. And yeah. And I'm just like, well, don't even worry about it. But not a, not a paid setting.

Um, what about you? Uh, I want, you mind me asking questions? No, no, that's fine. I mean, fast dogs, fastballs with fits is like, um, it's pretty set the way it's done. Okay. With me asking questions. Sorry. You know.

Well, I was trying to be polite. Yeah. You know? I was trying to, after so many questions, I feel like I got to throw one back or it feels like I'm being selfish. No, this is, it's about you, but I will tell you, I did a show. I opened. You ever heard of a band called They Might Be Giants?

They were big back in like the 90s. Anyway, they were doing a show at Kent State University in Ohio, and I was booked to open for them. And it was like one of those parties in this quad. Yeah. With these kegs everywhere and frats and sororities. What year was this? Kent State.

Probably 97. Okay. There's a certain year I was looking for. I didn't know what event this was. You're talking about the one in 71? Yeah. I couldn't remember. I thought it was like an 88 or something.

No, that was like 71. It was the Vietnam War process. Oh, that's right. That's right. And so this guy throws an apple at me and hits me in the chest. And I literally was mid-word and I was like, have a great afternoon, everybody, and I just fucking walked right off the stage. Good for you.

And apple is insane. Yeah. That's crazy. No. Should have been a tomato. Yeah. I mean, do it right. Do it respect to craft. You should have picked the... Hey, buddy. You ever seen a cartoon? This is ludicrous. This is ripe. This is fucking ripe.

All right. Who was the worst opener you ever had? Oh, man. It would be Richard Lockhart, Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Very nice gentleman, and he knows what I'm about to say. One time I had him do a set in Anniston, Alabama. And two nights before, I kid you not, a tornado. ripped through that area and he got up and did a joke about how tornado shelters are stupid. And yeah, he walked about half the room. And when he got off stage, I go, hey, man, I go, you see all the trees outside leaning sideways? I go, these people here are recovering. Worst opening set I'd ever seen.

The most unselfaware. We talk about it every time we see each other. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's good. All right. You're good to fastballs with fits. You're fast.

Thank you. We'll close out with this. What is the hackiest bit you've ever done? The hackiest bit that I have ever done. Goodness gracious. It's funny because I don't come up with one and you're like, yeah, most hacky people don't know what's going on. I have a list of six from your special.

Yeah, yeah, that's right. I'm trying to, the most hacky bit, oh, gosh. I don't, I, it would be so early to me. I would like to think that I'm having a hard time remember it for the fastball session. This is for sure a slider. This is an off-speed pitch.

Yeah, it is. I'm trying to think... You're stepping out of the box to adjust the velvet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I... I can't... I got nothing. I got nothing.

I'm sure as soon as I leave here, I'll have 11, but off the top of my head. And also, I have a memory of a goldfish. Me and Nate Bargettzi shared this. I only live in the set that I'm at the hour I'm in. I have a very hard time. I hear you. Playing the classics or remembering an old bit. You know, I'm jealous of guys like Jim Gaffick and those other guys. They can just, they have a rolydex in their head of all the bits they've ever done. Once I send that album or that special, enjoy it,

because I don't know how to say it again. Right, right. Sometimes even it'll come up, like I'll be talking to somebody in the crowd and they'll go, oh yeah, I'm from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. And then I'll go, oh, well, you know, when you get law and I have a bit and I get halfway through it, and then I go, no fucking idea. How terrifying is that? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because you're almost like, I wish I would have never even started it. But now I act like I'm going into it, and I can't remember the rest. I've been there. I feel like I'm in the middle of the road and traffic is coming from both directions,

and I don't know how I got there. That's what you're in the turn lane in the middle? Yeah, that's a great description. All right, so we're going to tell people, look, this special nostalgic is very funny, very solid. Thank you. Thank you. Joke, joke, joke, joke. Thank you.

Really, well done, Mac. It means a lot coming from you. Thank you. Yeah, of course. It just came out on Netflix. And then also, I mean, you have to go to Derek Stroop the website. It's D-E-R-R-R-I-C-S-D-R-U-P-E. No, there's an E.

No, no, well, there shouldn't be. No, it's right here. Yeah, yeah, I believe it. But that is not how you spell my name. Well, then these are not your tour date. that's how you would spell Dave Stroop's last name. That's the guy that owns most of the funny bones. I'm S-T-R-O-U-P, no-e.

Okay. Yeah. Coming up in Phoenix, Cleveland, Philly, Grand Rapids, right back here in Los Angeles. Come on. Lexington, Kentucky, one of my favorite clubs comedy on Broadway. Thank you for saying that. I love that club, too. I love it.

I love that town. Atlanta, Omaha, and just on and on throughout the year. Dude, what a pleasure. Hey, thanks for having me, man. What a delight. Thank you, buddy. Hope to see you at the comedy seller in New York City. Absolutely.

I'd love that. All right.