Fitzdog Radio - Erik Griffin - Episode 1083

Episode Date: January 22, 2025

From Workaholics and many specials Erik Griffin talks about the hackiest bit he ever did. Follow Erik Griffin on Instagram @erikgriffin Watch my special "You Know Me" on YouTube! http://bit.ly/FitzYouKnowMe Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to FitzDog Radio. I'm your intrepid host, Greg Fitzsimmons, traversing the map here in the United States of America. A lot of travel this week. Started out, I say, uh, too much. Stop it. started out, I say too much, stop it. I'm in New York City right now. I'm staying at the beautiful hotel in Midtown. I had a great couple, it started off rough, started rough, but we got here. I flew, I was in Janesville, Wisconsin, which is a town outside of Madison that is just, you know, it's just like a

Midwestern big town not a city. It's a it's a big town and The people were amazing. They brought I talked about people donating clothes I think last week they had a giant cardboard thing set up to collect clothes and I said to them this is this is so nice this is clothes for the fire victims in LA. I said but looking at what you're wearing now I don't think the people in Hollywood, California want to see, want to wear the stuff you look down on, the stuff you're getting rid of.

There's no chance that a corduroy sweater vest is gonna get worn by, you know, Steven Spielberg. They don't want your overall. I mean, it's so sweet. It was so nice. And these crowds, I gotta tell you something. I worked some very nice rooms, you know, the Denver Comedy Works and the punchline, it's like historic, beautiful rooms.

I'm working, Levity Live in Nyack, New York this weekend. It's 500 seats. It's state of the art. This place was like in a building in the basement, small, and I gotta tell you, one of the best comedy experiences I've had in years, the most amazing crowds, I was fucking killing. And it's so much fun, but it was 90 minutes from Chicago.

It's, and you know, it's, you're not in a city, you're in a town. And I'm, and I'm kind of a snob. So I go to this restaurant called The Tavern and I was like, I better order safe. Cause this is, we're in fucking Janesville, Wisconsin. I got a tuna, you know, like a, I eat tuna sliced on some, some on some in a bowl and a rice bowl. It was one of the most well prepared, well presented, delicious meals

I've had in years. And here's the thing, you can move to small places now. It's not like the old days. Small towns have great chefs, and they have nice state of the art breweries with 51 different beers on tap, and they've got entertainment like Greg Fitzsimmons coming to your basement of your office. Anyway, it was kind of inspiring. Shout out to the Tavern.

So I fly out of there to LaGuardia. So I got to drive 90 minutes from Janesville to Chicago. I get to the airport and there's an hour and a half delay to get on the flight because there's snow. And there wasn't snow at LaGuardia when we were supposed to leave on time, but some flight attendant didn't show up. And so, you know, 150 people are now waiting because somebody was fucking hung over. We finally get on the plane, we get de-iced, and then we have to sit in the plane for another 90 minutes because LaGuardia may or may not be open. So finally we take off, we get to LaGuardia, and we start circling because

the airport is closed. So we're like we're like Mary and Joseph in Bethlehem trying to have the Virgin Child and this pilot, I'm not making this up, did three laps of New York City and he flew about 20 feet above the Empire Stable. This guy was strafing Manhattan and I freaked out. I thought 9-11 was happening again. I swear to God God I thought this guy was gonna go to a building I'm like why the fuck are you doing this this is so

triggering I hate to use the word triggering but I was triggered I almost ran to the front of the plane like you know like let's roll it was almost a let's roll moment for me anyway so we finally get we circle circle circle and then they finally go after about it 45 minutes they go we can't land we have to go to Boston. So now we fly 45 minutes to Boston we land it's snowy it's shitty we get off the plane and it's like people scrambling to talk to an agent to try to get a hotel. It was like the fall of Saigon. There was people yelling, there was arguing, there was little kids screaming and crying.

At this point it's like nine o'clock at night and I end up finally getting a certificate to go to the Chelsea residence in. Chelsea, you have to know, is maybe the shittiest neighborhood in Boston and it's a good 25 minute drive. Oh, and by the way, my phone had died on the plane and American has no plugs. There's no jacks for a fucking phone. So my phone is now dead. So I can't take an Uber to the hotel

I got to wait outside in the snow for a taxi, which there are none so finally I get in one we get to the hotel and I have not eaten since breakfast and now they tell us that the restaurants closed supposed to be up until 10 It's now 9 45. They're saying that there's no food and I can't do it I can't go to bed without eating so finally this one woman who was a Spanish-speaking woman spoke to the cook and convinced him to make some food for us so we got some not bad fish and chips and all the only thing that's saving me this whole time I'm a huge Rams fan. The Rams are in the playoffs and I've got YouTube TV on my phone so I've got the I've got the game taped and I'm gonna sit in the room exhausted and frazzled and missing my

three shows in New York at the cellar that night and I'm gonna watch the Rams game and then my brother texts me and he goes he goes I'm gonna watch the Rams game and then my brother texts me and he goes he goes I'm pulling for the Rams this is such a bummer and I was like no I mean I get it I he and I go back and forth about football on the phone a lot so I get it he probably assumed us sitting there watching it live but then I just watched the whole game but I knew the whole time that we were gonna lose and they did which was a double bummer that they lost and then I my room was so fucking hot I put the air conditioning on didn't sleep get to the airport, flight is two hours delayed to get to New York. Get to New York it's like one in the afternoon, check into my hotel, and then

I go down I did some shows last night, went to the stand, went on after the I won't even say the worst comedian I've ever seen. The worst thing I've ever seen. And he's killing. He's killing in the hackiest, most awful way. Everything he says is, and this guy over here is thinking blah blah blah and what about this guy? Yeah, okay guy, you gotta come on your face. And what about this guy's talking about this guy? Everything was this guy. Talk about you. You're the comedian on stage. Stop talking. I mean, doing a little bit of crowd work I love. Artful crowd work weaved into material is elegant. But when you just, this guy had the gravelly voice

and he was in their faces and the crowd laughs They just there, you know, you appeal to the most base But then when I go on now, they fucking suck because I'm a little low-key And whatever so it just it was a bummer Did I do well? No, I pulled it out in the end by what did I do? I did crowd work. That's the only thing they would laugh at at that point. Went to The Cellar, the Village Underground, and very excited about my set. And then Sam Morell was on stage, killing. So funny. Oh, shout out to Mark, by the way, who just had a baby. Mark Norman had his first kid this week. I was supposed to be they might be you might be drunk, but

we had to we had to let Mark be a father for a little while and and then Judd Apatow and Jimmy Miller show up. Jimmy's like one of the biggest manager producers in Hollywood. So they show up and now I'm up there with a bunch of dick jokes and stuff about California fires and I want to do well. So I scrambled. I did okay and then we all went out to dinner at the, what's that place called, the Marinette? Mariette? It's a great Italian restaurant around the corner. And now I'm going to do Bobby Kelly's podcast today. So and then I'm off for Levity Live in Nyack, New York. I got my family coming out. I got about 40 people coming to see my show so it's gonna be like a reception. I'm gonna have to host like a wedding reception

after the show and then I have another show after that so it's a little overwhelmed. What am I complaining about? Life is good. Life is very good and I'm enjoying it. All right, let's get to it. My guest today, oh, a date's coming up. Obviously I just said NYAC New York this weekend,

the 20 whatever fourth and fifth maybe and then I will be 23rd and 24th then I'll be in Raleigh North Carolina 25th and 26th Milwaukee Improv January 31st to February 2nd then I will be in Vegas Fontanaana, California, Atlanta, Hollywood for the improv for the St. Patrick's Day show March 15th. That always sells out. Get the tickets soon. Ontario, Toronto, Pittsburgh. Go to FitsDog.com get some tickets. Tampa also coming up. La Jolla. All right, my guest is great. He is one of my favorite people.

He's a regular at the Comedy Store. He just direct, he's starting to direct big specials. That's his new thing, which is pretty cool. He's got a podcast called Riffin with Griffin, and he's a delight, just had a baby. Here's my chat. Oh and if it seems like we're behind the news we did this conversation about a week ago. So as far as the fires the progress of the fires or whatever keep that in mind. Okay here's the great Eric Griffin.

My guest is Eric Griffin with a K. Eric, you can hear it when you say it. Eric. It just depends on where you're from too. Like if you're from Texas, my name is Eric. If you're from the East Coast, my name is Eric. Eric, right, right. So, you know. And if you were Scandinavian,

there'd be an H at the end, right, Eric? Eric, yeah, I guess. Eric. And Griffin. Like a Viking. Griffin is an Irish name. You have some Irish in you? Yeah, no.

I could, who knows? I gotta do that. I have to finally. Oh, you don't know. I have to do that thing. Well, because your dad wasn't part of your life, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I don't know. Like from day one?

Day one. So you don't know your ethnicity? Yeah. Could be anything. That's kind of cool because like. Yeah, because people want to know what you are so they can know how to hate you. No, well, that's what I was gonna say say is like you can go to any neighborhood or hang

out with any group of people and you'll know if they don't like you. It's you. Oh, my God, you're such a dickhead. Can you find a fatter angle of me please? Oh, it's the angle. That's what's doing it. Yeah, we set up the camera. Oh my God. I heard a rumor that you are getting a colonoscopy.

Rumor? I just told you that. Well, I'm trying to make this like the Byron Allen show. Oh, please don't do that. Where you know what the bit is, and then you just set the guy up. Did you do the Byron Allen show? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He would be like, so I hear you hate your grandma.

And then you have to be like, you know what, grandmas be crazy. Oh, my god. I was obsessed. When I was on the road, I was obsessed with watching The Byron Allen Show. What was it called, Comics something? Comics Unleashed. Comics Unleashed. And then he did other ones.

He always had this thing where he owned that hour in syndication. So I don't know if you know how syndication works. Basically, rather than a network just having a show on NBC and all the NBC affiliates play it, syndication means you've got to go to St. Louis and sell the show there. Then you've got to go to Dallas and sell the show there. And he did it. He went to every state, sold it everywhere, but then if a show crapped out, he had another

one in the pipeline. He put it right in, and they would all just buy the new show. Yeah. That's how they got... he's a billionaire, dude. Yeah, yeah. But then maybe there was like a big lawsuit, we actually ended up getting money. He sued McDonald's for something about the way

they market it in the inner city. Oh God, really? Yeah, it was a class action lawsuit against McDonald's and he won. Good old Byron. Damn. Shout out to Byron Allen. Yeah, but I'm getting a colonoscopy on Friday. This is your first one? Yeah.

Dude, I heard the drugs. I did one and I remember coming out of it and I felt good. Some people feel really high for a while when they come out of it. That's the good part. Well, I mean, God, I got to go pick up the stuff. Oh, yeah, yeah. I heard you don't need to do that as much anymore. You still have to do.

You got to be cleared out. Yeah. What do you mean? You got to be cleared out or the camera's not going to see anything. There'll be shit on the lens. Yeah. You don't want that.

It's going to be like a bad gay porno shoot. Yeah. Yeah, you know there's like colonoscopy porn. Yeah. For sure. It's just a camera that just goes right into some dookie. The camera goes down there. It finds like a guy's class ring.

Yeah. Used condoms. Yeah, I don't want to. Yeah, and then it's like every time a comic, it's like when a comic has a baby, they have that same baby material. And the comics go get a colonoscopy. And they have to like, oh, put a finger in my ear. It's all that. I don't give a shit.

I'll talk about anything. I don't care if it's. Whatever your own perspective is, right? Yes, it's a new take on it. I used to do a shit. I'll talk about anything. I don't care if it... Whatever your own perspective is, right? Yes, it's a new take on it. I used to do a joke about the proctology exam. I don't give a shit. It happened to me. I had an interesting take on it,

which is after he put his finger on my ass, I was sad for like two days and I didn't know why. And that's a very interesting take because I think some people kind of relate to that. And some people are like... It just meant your father was right. You're a big... I'm not even going to say.

Not big. Little. That's all it said. Imagine a big one. I'd be sad for a month. Yeah, you can't have a fat finger doctor. No. I think when you're meeting new doctors, you're just checking out his hands. No. I think when you're meeting new doctors you're just checking out his hands. Yeah it's like you want like Brad Williams to be there. Yeah you want some

anorexic woman. Yeah yeah. But anyways. So you're checking out your ass. How old now? 52. 52. Yeah. 58. Oof. Yeah. Oh man. I'm at the age where I recently went online and I checked my social security payout to see what I'm going to get when I retire. Good for you. I'm like, well I have like a stock guy and he's like, we got to do your financial plan for retirement. I was like, retire? Retire? He said, I'm still going strong. Yeah, yeah, but then when he said it, I started thinking, I've been kind of not, I've still going strong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then when he said it, I started thinking, have you kind of not, I've been going hard since I was in college. I started doing this shit when I was in college.

I've never let up off the game. Other than the pandemic, I have never not worked every single week. I get it. And I'm like, I don't know, maybe it's 63, five years from now. Well, for me, like now I have to keep going. No, I know, you fucked up.

I did. Yeah. I did. I regret it. You have a nine month old, we should say. 11 month old. It's still like, what are we talking about? And then I just bought a house that I'll

have to pay for it till I'm 80. Dude, do you have fire insurance in your house? Yeah, yeah. You have to have it. No, they canceled mine four months ago. I know, but you have to have it on a new house. Oh, right, right, right. They canceled yours?

Did you get a different one? I canceled a lot of people in California. But did you get another one? Well, the mortgage company got us a fire policy, but it doesn't cover anything flooding like somebody having an accident on the property and suing you oh no that stuff but just the fire stuff just fire which I'm in Venice I'm not gonna catch on fire yeah that's what the people in the Palisades thought too when you look at that map of the fires yeah there's nothing in you if you live in the Palisades yeah and you have a three

four million dollar plus house, and you're living in a neighborhood full of houses, there's nothing in you that thinks that if a house, even if a house across the street catches on fire, you're thinking, well, they're gonna come take care of this. There's no thought process that a fire the size of, the destruction the size of Manhattan, what's gonna happen?

I mean, come on, man. That's like- It's the embers, it's the flying embers. What's gonna happen? I mean, come on, man. That's like- It's the embers, it's the flying embers. It's not the trees. I originally thought it was just trees and shrubs, which we don't have in Venice. I mean, we have very few. We have some palm trees and succulents.

We don't even have shit that burns. Yeah, I'm in Santa Clarita, so it's like this whole- You're in Santa Clarita? Yeah. Where the fuck is that? Santa Clarita's like Valencia, going towards Magic Mountain. Oh. Yeah, so this is a big deal that I came here for you.

But I thought you were already in town. It doesn't matter. I still. Ah. You always try to get extra credit. Yeah, right, right, right. Is that why you didn't call? It's come when I asked you to do it a month ago?

Yeah, no, because we had a doctor's appointment. And it I asked you to do it a month ago? Yeah, I know. Because we had a doctor's appointment. And it was like, I would have had to have gone back and forth. Because you know, you're one of my favorite people. And I'm so excited that you're here to do the podcast. I would always love to do it. But it's just like, now I moved out there. I mean, I wanted to get a house, man.

You get more for your money out there. Because you were in Venice or Mar Vista before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And yeah, but we had like a, dude dude all that area now is gonna be flooded with people Oh, yeah, cuz all the people in Palisades while they rebuilding if they rebuild they're gonna move to Culver City Santa Monica all those apartments and condos are gonna be jam-packed Dude, my my friends a realtor and he said that every place that he had for rent

The owners call them and said, Jack it up. Put it up 20%. That sucks. Yep. Pieces of shit out there, man. I mean, it's just like, I look at that devastation and I talk to a guy, my gardener, gardener, is that what you say, or landscaper?

Yeah, I don't know, is that racist to say gardener now? No, I just don't know, it's like everything. There's a new word. Is that like midget? You can't say gardener. We don't say the G know. It's like everything. There's a new word. Is that like midget? You can't say guard. We don't say the G word. That's actually weird because he is a little person. Which helps because he can really get in there and weed.

But the palm tree looks like shit. Doesn't hurt his back. He just could pick. He's just walking around like this. Oh, we're terrible. Yeah, so anyway, he said 90% of his business is in the Palisades. Oh, no.

So he's fucked. That's right. You don't even think about that. Right. Because it's not like he can suddenly, what's he going to start poaching other people's properties? Everybody's got their landscape.

That's terrible. And he's undocumented, so he can't like go get financial aid or anything like that. So and the other thing is I just put three gates on my, yeah I saw that earlier. What is that, mustard or egg? I have no idea. This is crazy. This is like fat guy stuff.

Yeah, that's the thing, when you get to a certain weight you don't even know what the stains are anymore. Yeah, or just ate like,, I went and got some pancakes. You go to DuPars? Yeah. So I actually went to DuPars before to have time. Really? I hadn't eaten today.

And I was like, you don't want to get some pancakes. The thing is, they give you too many pancakes. Yeah, they give you way too many pancakes. So I said, I just want two pancakes. The guy goes, well, we're still going to charge you for three. You know? You're looking for that one third discount on your dish? No, but no, but I wouldn't. You know what?

Honestly, I don't even care about that. You just don't want access to three. Yes. Right. I said, can you like, I said, OK. I hate when you go to a restaurant, and maybe say you think they'd say maybe it's like steak and potatoes They may maybe you say like can I get broccoli? They go we don't do substitutions and I'm always like do you sell broccoli? Yeah, you sell broccoli, right? You know, they're like, oh, yeah, it's a side dish

Don't put the potato on my plate. All right and put the broccoli on my plate All right, but with this all about the cost they go well, we got have to charge you. No, and then you walk in and you go, Frickin' charge me, asshole. Can I get waffles and a sunny side up? Breakfast ended at 11. Well, it's 11.45. Did you throw the eggs out? Yeah, yeah. There's no eggs back there. Just take care. It's just, they give you too many pancakes. And it's like, sometimes I just get, can I just get one pancake? They'll still say that.

We'll be still gonna charge you for like, I don't need the Lizzo portion size of pancakes. Can I just say the obvious thing? Can I address the elephant in the living room or the elephant in the studio? Wow. Why are you eating pancakes? You just said you're worried about your weight.

No, no, I know, but occasionally, you know, I don't live down here anymore. So I saw DuPars and I was like, no, I know. But occasionally, you know, I don't live down here anymore. So I slept two parts, and I was like, oh, I love their pancakes. So what's your standard breakfast when you wake up? Sometimes I just have like a, I'll make a smoothie. Or I'll make like eggs. So I'll give the kid an egg. My wife wants two eggs, and I'll have one egg,

and then that's it. That's good. Yeah, yeah. So I'm not overdoing it. Because it seems to me, and obviously, weight, for me, has been the opposite. I was always so skinny that I was embarrassed. Like, I never wore shorts.

I always felt like anybody could kick my ass. I was like, skinny. But it seems to me that for putting, taking weight off, it's about habits. You wake up and you know you're gonna have a smoothie you're gonna have an egg. It's still hard man you get to a certain age your metabolism slows down. Right. And you got to look up all this stuff about what you're supposed to eat when you're supposed to eat it like fats

versus carbohydrates. It's like all these changing. It's like I don't it's like goddamn it. Yeah. And then I was so before we moved I had gotten a trainer on the west side And I loved it. I was weightlifting and the weight was coming off and then we had this big move I remember that and now I'm out here trying to like Look for another person in it and that time you gain gain weight back. It's so frustrating Are you a late-night snacker? You know when you're a comic man, you're coming home or like, you know, but now it's like it's actually better now because I have to do this long drive at night, you know? Yeah. It's 40 minutes every time. No, it's not. Yeah. From

Hollywood? Yeah. No shit. Yeah, it's about 40 minutes, but that's fine. Dude, if I had an eight o'clock show in Hollywood from Culver City, that'd be 25, 30 minutes to get from there. So it's just 10 more minutes. It's not like it's that far. You just get more for your money. We got a five-bedroom house. No shit. You got a little yard?

With a yard. Wow. Dude, that's pretty sweet. And then it's like, if you took my house and put it in Mar Vista, it'd be $9 million. So what are you going to do with all the bedrooms? You going to have another baby? Yes, we want wanna do another one,

so we gotta do it right away before I'm too old, right? Yeah. But it is what it is. I'm gonna make a podcast studio for myself, do it right, and then we got, it's gonna be fine. Yeah. You know what I mean? I've always wanted to, I never lived in a house before,

so here I am. When you grew up, did you live in a house? No. Lived in an apartment? Yeah, I've been in an apartment living my whole life. It's your first house. Yeah I know I just saved so much money on my career Yeah, cuz I you know you when you're comic you never think you're gonna work again Yeah, I don't care what job it is. Okay, how great it is you've always saved

Yeah, and you always hear horror stories, you know, and I was like, I'm just saved then Wake up and then I have have this money in the bank. And then my wife had some inheritance money, which was the down payment. Who'd she inherit from? Her grandfather. Grandfather? Yeah.

How many grandkids were there? A lot. But it doesn't matter. It was enough money. Listen, man, most people can afford the payments on a house. I think like, you know. Well, it's the same as rent usually. Right.

Or less. It's even less. But what they can afford is this, like who got, let's say you're going to buy a million dollar place. Yeah. Who got $200,000 laying around if you're an average person? Right.

You don't got $200,000 just, oh, let me get $200,000. Like it just, that's the hard part. Yeah. But you could afford those payments. So it's like the fact that I didn't have to touch any of my money for the down payment. Well, the thing is, when I bought my house 25 years ago. Oh, god, you got it for pennies on the dollar

compared to the down. And also down payments were only 5%. So it was a cheaper house. It was less of a down payment. But nowadays, I see young people that are successful as shit, you know? My agent just bought a house. He's the vice president of comedy at the Gersh Agency.

Yeah, but people all wanna live beyond their means too. That's true. That's the thing too, they wanna live in a, like in LA it's about location. So like, you know, you're gonna, you know, a million dollars, a million dollar place in LA going towards the West Side is a dump. It's a condo.

It's the... Yeah, and not a good one. You cannot get a house on the West Side for a million dollars. Yeah, so if you're that person, yeah, you might be like, oh yeah, but that means you're going to have to put... So you're talking about, you know, they want like, oh yeah, but that means you're gonna have to put, so you're talking about, you know, they wanna get like a two million, three million dollar house. That's almost a 600,000 down payment. And then you've gotta pay taxes on that every year.

And then, and then, Even the taxes. The roof leaks, you need a new roof. All of a sudden that's 20 grand. We're in a new build. Oh, nice. So at least I have a year of the warranty and then 10 years, you know. I have a year of the warranty,

and then 10 years. I mean, that's the thing about these. I don't know, man. Think of all the, like you say, the insurance gets taken away from people. Think of all those people that probably decided, I don't think I need to get this insurance. I think we'll be fine right now.

Right. I know. I'm sure a lot of people made that choice. I know. And now these like Blackstone companies are going to come in and be like, yeah, I know your property is worth $25 million, but we're going to give you six.

Private equity is already lined up. Yeah. Ready to buy properties. Yeah. Can we get this for six? It's a fire sale. And then what are you going to do? You know what I mean?

Are you going to rebuild? You know what I'm saying? You You're gonna be like, all right. Well the thing is, when you get money from the insurance, they don't pay you, say your house is worth $2 million. They're not giving you $2 million. They're giving you the cost to rebuild the house. So maybe 400,000. And so your property is most of the equity

of your home. It's the land. It's crazy. Anyway, I feel bad for people. I've been donating money to people. There's a lot of good GoFundMe's out there. I'm gonna list one in the intro for the show. There's a guy who's a football coach in Altadena.

And he's been there, His family was there for generations. He lives there with his daughter and his wife. He's a guy that's helped everybody in his community for 40 years coaching, reaching out. Lost his house. Lost his house, burned to the ground. Especially in that neighborhood too. People like you know, in that neighborhood, you know, there's like a distrust for insurance companies and the government and the media, you know, media, it's like, so you just kind of like, people got money in their mattresses and like, you know,

no insurance policies and shit like that, so. Yeah, but you know what sucks too, man, is like, did you see that story about the guy dressed as a fireman robbing people's houses? No. It should burn people like that alive. Really? Was it the guy dressed as a fireman robbing people's houses? No. They should burn people like that alive. Really? Was it the guy from the village people?

No. Because he's probably having hard times. Oh my god. That guy needs money. He was sucking people off too at the same time as that was. Ha ha ha. Then the construction worker comes in next month to fix the place up.

He robs it. He's still robbing us. It's like, oh, man. Village people are having a tough time. Oh, my god. So who's your best friend that's gay? My buddy Cody. Cody.

That's a gay name. Yeah, that's a gay name. Yeah, he's super gay. Yeah. How long have you known him? Oh, forever now. Really? Yeah, a long time.

What does he do for work? He works at a drug treatment center. No shit. Yeah, yeah. Oh, good man. Yeah, a long time. What does he do for work? He works at a drug treatment center. No shit? Yeah, yeah. Oh, good man. Yeah, he's good, he's a good dude. Very, very, very good dude. He's like a brother, I always tell him people

that he's my brother. How'd you guys meet? God, I don't even remember now. That's weird. Yeah, it was like so, I wanted him to be an, oh, I remember, I was looking for somebody to be in a video I was doing a comedy video. Yeah, and I needed like a like a little little gay boy to

Yeah, it was perfect for the for the thing it was this video where I did it with Justin Martindale too. It was a funny video. I think he might be gay also, right? You think? He's in the dictionary, under gay. Is Cody in a couple, or has he been in a couple over the years? He's a little bit of a whore.

Yeah, they all are. He's in and out of stuff. Dude, my friend is 64, 65. Still out there doing it on Grindr. You know what? Young guys love it. There's like a dad. You know how there's like,

you're a bear obviously, but like there's a daddy thing too. You're like a former twink, I think. I'm a former twink? You say former, I can still twink. Are you kidding me? I'm a twink daddy. You're like a twink that's been pickled. You've been freeze dried.

I'm a twunk. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. I was in New York and I was hanging out. Excuse me. Cut. Is that from the fires? No, no, no.

I was like a couple weeks ago. I went to Alaska. Oh, did you do that gig? Yeah, I went to Alaska. Fairbanks? No, no, no. It was in Anchorage. Oh, did you do that gig? Yeah, I went to Alaska. Fairbanks? No, no, no. It was in Anchorage. Oh, it's a different one.

Yeah, good club. But I just got like, it was crazy. But I was in New York, and I was hanging out with Gerard Carmichael. He's a good buddy of mine. And have you seen his show on HBO? I haven't yet, no. Yeah, he basically spent $3 million

to come out of the closet. But anyway, it's um. Yeah, he basically spent three million dollars to come out of the closet. But anyway, it's um. It's like a reality follow around show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? But it's like, you know, only he would do it that way. You know what I mean? Most of us just say, hey, I'm gay. He's going to do it in a show form. But anyways, we're sitting in the deli and this like quintessential New York gay guy walks up to us. He's like 60, whatever, and he's like, oh my God, Gerard Carmichael.

And he's like, I love your show. It was just so, it was fascinating, the interaction, because he was like, that's my husband over there in the terrible shirt. Jerry, say hi! You know what I mean? It was like that. Let me tell you, man.

Being a gay icon is fucking good. Ticket sales, you look at people like Kathy Griffin or Margaret Cho, the ones that gay people love, they kill it. They've always got an audience built in. I mean, not that that's gonna be his whole audience because he's a really good standup anyway. He's gonna have the black audience, he's a really good stand-up anyway. He's gonna have the black audience

He's gonna have the gay audience. He's gonna have the you know What else did he do? What was his well he did the Golden Globes, right? Yeah disaster He just was like so only like he sat down on it on the steps at one point Hit him up. I was like only you would do that. Yeah, that was crazy. He's sitting down on the steps at one point hit him up. I was like only you would do that Yeah, that was crazy. He's sitting down on the thing. I thought Nikki did a great job this year. Nikki killed it Yeah, I was so good. Yeah, my friend Mike Gibbons wrote for oh really. Yeah. Yeah, it was good I I hit her up before and after I was like just beat you You know, she was at the comic store one day, right working it out. She was like, hey, if you have any tags, you know

And I was like, no, you're gonna be you're you're doing, this is it. She had like nine writers. I know, but you know what? Because they were so like, if you're Nicky, you're the next comic, and then all the flack that poor Joe Coy got from the year before, you don't want to be worse than that or perceived to be worse than that. And so you want to kill it.

So like, good for her for doing the work. She always does the work. She does the work. That's why she always kills on the roast. She goes out. I remember seeing her before a roast. It was at the Laugh Factory. And the roast was like five weeks away, six weeks away.

And she showed up in sweatpants with tissues. She had the flu. Not the cold. She had the flu not the cold she had the flu and she was up there with her paper trying to work take a night off I thought it was great I thought it was like it wasn't too mean it was like the right amount yeah like funny and then in her delivery she looked great it was just like it was perfect you know I mean yeah she looks great looks good, doesn't she? Yeah, she looks great. She looks so good that I didn't recognize her.

She went through a transformation where she started wearing the tan, the spray tan, which she admits, I'm not putting her out of school. She changed her hair, she started dressing better, and all of a sudden it's like, I always thought she was attractive, but she's kinda hot now. I gotta tell you something right now.

There's a shadow from your hat on your head yeah that makes it look like you look like a little German boy you know what I mean? It was like with one of those like weird it makes you look like I was like oh wow yeah yeah yeah no but anyways, she looked good and I'm trying to put it out there. I directed Matt Rife's last two Netflix specials and about to do another one and then Nikki hit me up because she saw his last one. She was like, I love what you did and I was like, let me do yours. I got to put that out in the universe. Good for you.

I want to do that. That's what I want to get into. That's amazing. It's a good racket and the thing is, I did a couple. And the thing is, I didn't charge much money. I was like, let me learn how to do it. Let me get some credits. And then you can become a guy who like,

you can make some real money. Yeah. You become a guy who's good at it. But I like doing it. And also, I'm a comic. You know what I mean? So you can give him tag lines. Yeah, I can help out.

You know what I'm saying? So it's like, I love getting, I want to get into that more. I was at a commercial audition. You know what I'm talking about? Is that what you had today? Yeah, and the producer was out here talking to me. And I told him too, I said, yeah, I want to do this too, man. I want to get into directing.

No, because the first thing he said to me was he was like, the directors are in there. He said, you know, they're younger than I would like. You know? And I was like, oh, like fresh out of film school. You know what I mean? And it was crazy. fresh out of film school. You know what I mean? And it was crazy. It looked just like that.

You know what I mean? And it was like a duo. I shouldn't even be talking about this. Because they're going to be like, ha ha ha. Well, I don't think it went well anyway, because we had an 1130. No, it did go well. And then you were like, all right, I'm done. Yeah, callbacks are quick, man.

Yeah. You go in, you do what they ask, and you get out of there. What's the product? I don't even. You know what I don't know actually I signed an NDA so I can't even say. Do you ever get offered an audition for a product and you go I don't want to endorse that product? No I've never, what are you talking about? My podcast studio that I do my podcast Riffin with Griffin by the way. Riffin with Griffin, Outstands podcast. Riffing with Griffin come check me. I gotta get you on you gotta come out this end of Corita. Um

We can shoot it here We could I don't mind do it right after yeah riffing with Griffin. Um You know, they're always hitting me up like Erica this this thing wants to sponsor and I go I keep telling them. Yeah Like what are we talking about? I'm not gonna you know, it's like, give money to the Swastika Foundation or something, they're not even going to want me to, whatever it is. Who cares? Well, I've done erectile dysfunction. I've done stool problems.

I've done dating apps, even though I'm married. The one thing I stopped doing was there's a product called Cranum. You ever heard of Cranum? Right. And it's basically and they gave me a sample of it. I took it. And I got high out of my mind. And then I looked it up online. And there was all these testimonials about like, my brother tried to get off and he committed suicide. It's like, it's it's it's an opiate,

basically. Anything is possible at this point. I don't trust or believe. You don't want to trust or believe anything. I always tell people that my baseline for this kind of stuff is actual Oxycontin. So the fact that that happened. So that actually happened.

Doctors were selling it. Doctors were prescribing it. They knew it was a drug. They were refilling it for years. They were refilling it for years. It destroyed millions of lives. That actually happened. If that happened, then anything's possible.

So when you hear RFK talking about the Wi-Fi, yeah, man. That could be a thing. What did he say about the Wi-Fi? Oh, he's like, you know, that it's causing brain damage and all this kind of stuff. And people go, oh, this could be a thing. What do you say about the webcam? Oh, he's like, you know, that it's causing brain damage and all this kind of stuff. And people go, oh, this guy's a kook. Do you know that if you look on your phone, that they have a warning on your phone? Yeah.

No one knows about it because no one sees it or even cares. But you go to like your settings, man. You go to like about this phone. You know, you go to general. You go to about. Warning, do not put phone next to head. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Do not put next to balls. They have all kinds of like warnings on the phone, dude. So anyways, my point is, when I hear like, I know what you mean. You have a product like, so you go, how did they sell that product? Yeah. Because anything's possible. Yeah. You know? Who's the worst feature act you've ever had on the road?

That's tough. Come on, man. Is there ever one like they set you up with a feature you know? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those little local. Yeah, yeah. That's what I mean. I remember one.

I don't remember the kid's name, but I was in Canada doing House of Comedy. And this guy goes up and he bombs, you know. And then I was like, what was that, dude? After the show, I was like, what are you doing? He was like, look, I'm my bad. He goes, you know what, next show, you're not going up if I don't do well.

So when he gets off the stage and the host goes up he's coming over to me and I say, so am I not going up? when he gets off the stage and the host goes up, he's coming over to me, I say, so am I not going up? Ha time. There's a lot of crap guys that are, you know, those local guys. That club, is it Edmonton that it's in? It's a route, it's oil men. They come in out of the oil fields, they've been out there for a month straight.

They come in and it's kind of club where, if you got balls, you can kill in that room. But if you can't come at them like saloon comedy, then they'll just start talking and it's over. I've had some of my hardest experiences in Canada. Yeah, well it's a different culture. I remember this guy. A different tone than us.

This guy had this Calgary comedy festival. He was a real snake. I forgot the guy's name. So he would do this festival and you would be doing shows all over the city in places that they shouldn't be doing shows. So I remember the worst one I did was it was at a bar, the hockey games on. Yeah, oh god. And they said we're going to start to show the moment the hockey game ends. Yeah, and if they lose, you're fucked.

Guess who was playing? Anaheim is playing Calgary. Calgary just loses. Oh. The screen's going up and the thing, they go, all right guys, we're gonna start the show. And from California. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's like, you piece of shit, dude.

I was like, and I know he did it on purpose. I hit the stage, boo, boo. You know? But I was at that time, I was like, fuck you. Dude, now I was just gonna say, sometimes that's the greatest thing in the world. Cause then you come out swinging, and if you get them, they know they just got got.

Now my worst, worst, worst, worst experience in Canada like that is I was doing, you know Saskatoon? You know where it's at? It's a little town in the middle. It's outside of Calgary. Yeah. But then there's another town outside of Saskatoon you have to take a Greyhound bus.

No. Yes. Who's booking that? Oh, oh god, I forgot to. I'm just kidding, I'm kidding. What the fuck are you doing? I was gonna tell you. All right. The guy booking that? Oh, I forgot to. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. What the fuck are you doing? I was going to tell you.

All right. The guy, it's a long time ago, though. But the guy, OK, so the name of the town was Prince Albert. Oh, yeah, yeah, I've heard of Prince Albert. Prince Albert. But Prince Albert is a fucking cock ring. That's right. Anyway, in this town, there's paper mills and prisons.

OK, so it stinks. Yeah. And it's just like, you know, and you're in a bar upstairs. Oh. I called it, it was combat comedy. Yeah. And then there's always music downstairs and you can hear the bass through the floor. It's just like, it's just like, fuck you.

Yeah. And after, there's a certain point where you get to a point where I'm just like, all right, we doing this. Yeah. You know, but your mom was a bitch. You know, whatever. And then there was a table, right, that just was the rowdiest people. And I'm just like, yeah, shut up, you know,

and I'm going in and, you know, but I actually, when I think about it at the end, I had a great time. Cause when I finished, I was like, oh, I'm done with you guys, fuck you guys. And they were like, yeah. You know? So then at the end, that table, they go, comic, come over here.

And I get over there, they're all cops. No. Yes. They're all cops and people that work at the prisons. They got their horses out front. That's who they were. And I was like, oh wow, y'all are the worst in the city. You are the worst people here.

And I got you. Yeah Yeah you know what I mean? So that's a good feel. That's the thing about stand-up comedy is like I consider myself a warrior. I've been doing it for 35 years. I started in tough clubs in Boston. I worked the trenches in New York. I've done the hell gigs like you what you're talking about Prince Albert type gigs and I'll tell you something when I get thrown a show like that now I fucking love it I love that I can break away from my material throw that shit to the side and whatever part of me let me survive for 35 years comes out yeah that guy comes out yeah I know you but I'm able to wrestle that crowd

and it hurts it doesn't feel good at the time, but when you're done with that set and you go back to your hotel room, you go, I'm an entertainer. Like, I can do this. This is what I trained for. Right. You know, it's like, it's a kind of talent

that you have that you don't want to use, but you're glad you have it. Pull it out. You know? Yeah, man. I always, I feel like- It's like a street fight. But I feel like that's why I still get spots in the city. I mean there's a lot of young

comics coming up and they're trying to push us old guys out, but you're not funnier than me. Right. You know? So until you... Until like I'm still staying relevant. I'm still talking about whatever's happening now. I'm still doing it in my way. You always got new material. I respect that. I think you have to do that or these young kids are gonna come in and take it away. Also you see when there's a rough show in the main room and there's a young comic they can't handle it they can't work their way through it and you see a seasoned vet and those are the shows that you really that's why you booked that comic. Yeah. In case anything's wrong. Who do you want to give your eulogy when you die? Damn. I don't know. The part of me is, do I want it to be funny?

Of course. No, no, no, but I don't know. I'm thinking about my family, though. I'm thinking about my wife and my kid now. I don't know if they, is that what they're going to want? What I want? I don't know. I could pick some comics I know and be like, well,

that would be, like I could say Bobby Lee. But I know it would be terrible. Andrew Santino. You for instance. I mean, so I think, I don't know. I don't know if I'd want it to be one of my friends that knows me or be somebody that understands me. When you die, do you want it to be instant, like a heart attack and you're done, you feel no pain? Or do you want to have like two years? Or do you want to have a month? No man, I just-

Like a month? I don't know. Hospice? I think, well, that's what happened to my mom just recently, you know? How long ago? About, man, like two or three months ago, my mom died. Oh, shit.

Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, it's all good. And she was on hospice? Yeah, in the end, she was in hospice. But isn't there something kind of graceful about that? It can be. It was, because she like, it's just like I was on the way to the airport.

But they live way in Oxnard. So my stepfather's like, you gotta get here. And I said, I'm not gonna make it, man. And it's like, I, you know. But you had time before that to say goodbye. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But even still though, it was like, my mama had dementia, so it's a tough, tough thing.

But on her last day, my stepfather had her on the phone and I could see that she was not there. She was like, and I was like, oh wow, this is how you go. Yeah. When I think about it, I'm glad she went out like that. Dude, morphine drip? Yeah, whatever, as opposed to like, whatever that,

you know, you hate, I hate the words, they lost their battle with cancer. I hate that. You hear that shit, I'm like, ugh. Right. Cause that just, that- Now they're a loser? That, what? Yeah. See, that shit, I'm like, ugh. Right. Because that just, that, that. Now they're a loser? That, what?

Yeah. See, that's why you have a comic do your eulogy. You know what I mean? Right. This guy, 0-1 vs. cancer, this guy. Defeated. Out of the playoffs. In one battle, he's like, yeah, what is this guy,

Lamar Jackson in the playoffs? You know, so, yeah, yeah man, so I hate those words. Because that whole wording sounds like, yeah, what is this guy, Lamar Jackson in the playoffs? You know, so yeah, yeah, man. So I hate those words because that word, that whole wording sounds like that didn't sound fun. How long did she, do you die of dementia? Well what happened was yes, you do. Your body forgets how to do all the stuff, but that's not what happened. She got a bad blood clot.

Oh, in her leg? Yeah. And it went to her heart and went to her lungs. You know, the thing is like, you know, our medical system is trash, right? And you don't know it until you need it. Yeah, so young people on Medicare. You know, she had great assurance It doesn't matter though, dude. What's the last time you went to the doctor you go to the doctor? They don't know shit Yeah, these doctors, you know, that's why our our society if you're a conspiracy guy, our society is being placated by medical shows. So we have this idea that we go to the doctor in his house and it's good doctor and it's Grey's Anatomy

and they're fighting for your life. Let me tell you something right now, they are not. They are not, they're more like public school teachers that have a class of 68. Yeah. And they want to help, but they just can't. They're also afraid of getting sued. Yep. So they do the protocols. And the insurance company set up the protocols. Yep. And if there's a drug that's cheaper, that's the one you're getting. Dude. And the doctors know that. I'm telling you, they're not looking out for your well-being. I went to one doctor and I was like,

just what? I just felt it. I felt the like, oh, I gotta get rid of you. Yeah. I look for like when it says, you look at the description, when you look at your insurance, it'll be like, holistic, part of the thing is holistic. I'm all about that.

Because then I know that person is thinking outside of the box. Absolutely. Preventative medicine. And it's just like it sucks. I've had the same doctor for 20 years, this guy, Joel Isaacson, on the west side of LA. This guy has a file on me like this. Is that Jewish, Isaacson?

I just like saying that. I wish he was Jewish. I didn't believe in him even more. But he's got a file on me saying that. I wish he was Jewish. I'd be believing him even more. But he's got a file on me like that and when I come in it's a 90 minute appointment. Good for you. And he remembers that I had asthma when I was a kid. He remembers that my dad died of a heart attack in 53. Well, he's probably got that like devil worse Prada thing going on where before you're coming

in the assistant comes in and goes, all right, remember he's bald and his mother's name is Bum Bum he's like okay thank but you know what if they put that work in I like it yeah well good good yeah show me that yeah yeah it's like when you call your agent yeah and he starts going at how's click click click Owen Dilley yeah man yeah so I just feel like so what anyways I'm saying that to say, I think that if you have an elderly person in your life and you go with them to the doctor and be their advocate, fight for them. I know. I'm flying down to see my mom in Florida in two weeks to do exactly that.

But let me tell you something, man. When you're in there and the doctor's like, don't let the doctor be like, well, you know, your mom's... No, no, no, no. I want you to treat her like she's 30. And so if you need to do a CAT scan and an x-ray, do that shit. Because they could have caught this blood clot. But when you have dementia, they don't know what to say. She forgets to, oh, yeah, oh, my leg hurts.

Did I already say that? They don't know. And then it just got bad. And then we had to make this terrible choice. Because it's like at her age, you go in for surgery, they don't come out of surgery the same. And it's like, what's her quality of life? It was already.

How old was she? 82. Okay, yeah, it's my mom's age. So she was already, the quality of life was already at a point where it was like we had to have a wheelchair and a walker and like. Was she living at home? Yeah, she was living with my stepfather, you know,

in a facility, but it was like independent living. Oh, it was in a facility? Independent living, though. Was there any health care workers helping out? No, not the way they should. There's a lot of pressure on your stepdad. But it's independent living. I know, that's another thing, too.

Damn. And so, like, I'm not going to go in there. He's living with her all the time. And, you know, at the funeral, I thanked him. I just let him know. Without him, I couldn't have the life I have right now. He, being in my mom's life, allowed me to pursue my dreams and actually achieve them

and get married. And now I have a kid is what she always wanted. And I have a great picture of my mom. She loved babies. I don't know if she knew, but she. Oh, really? Oh, she gets to see the baby. Yeah, so I had these pictures of her.

She was like very, oh, you know. Beautiful. I had this great picture of them head to head. So I'm like, OK, I have this. That's nice. And this is what she wanted. She always wanted this for me. Because it's different.

When you have a kid, first of all, when you get married it's different. You feel the difference. You know what I'm talking about. You feel, like it's different. And then when you have a kid, you're like, oh shit, this is like a whole different type of thing. And I know what it also makes you do,

it makes you like work on your marriage again. Because immediately when you have a kid it's so easy to okay this is my sole focus and then like with this person maybe it was gonna do something you go hey hey why did you know in our wedding vows one of the things we said is nothing will come between nothing will come will be more important than you and my life, including our children. That's great. Because if you guys don't stay solid,

divorce is a fucked up thing for a kid. My wife said to me, we had our kid, and she said to me, you know you're still my number one. And she goes, because this kid is eventually, he's going to hate me when he turns 14. He's going leave and say, and I need you, you're still gonna be around. And I was like, oh, this is why we're together.

Cause she's got that in her to say that, something like that. It's also hot, your wife's hot. Yeah. That helps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, if you married- Hey, hey, hey, I'm on TV. Ah!

Like what am I doing with an old bitch? You know what I mean? Like, what are we talking about? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You know, it's the, it's the, oh my god. This, you know, I was like, I, it's like, I talk about this on stage, but it's just such a weird, we have a very weird relationship with like young women.

Like, the dislike, in their 20s, I'm saying. Right. Like, these women in their 20s, we have this like weird, like, condescending, protective. You and I do? No, I think society does. Society does. So that's why I always feel for guys our age,

that age bracket of like 40 and up, they get divorced or they've been single and they're trying to date and then they're trying to date some 29 year old, 27 year old. Bro, you're to get no grace. She got to turn 30 because that's when we start holding women accountable for their choices and decisions. 30 is the age where we go, all right, what are you doing?

People used to get married at 21, 22. Now the 20s is the new teen years. They're still figuring it out. But they're treating them like that no matter what they're doing. They could have a job, they could have a career, they could have their own money. They could have all this stuff, but if they start dating Leonardo DiCaprio, everybody's like, that's a baby. She's a child. You're like, wait, what? I got a friend who's my age and he got got divorced he started dating a girl that was in her early 20s

It's like and I was like dude But he's the kind of guy that can keep up like I wouldn't do it just because I don't have the energy Bro, I go to bed at night. That's what I'm saying. She wants to go to a rave Yeah, what are you gonna do? Oh guy? What are you talking about? There's no way stop it I'm not taking ayahuasca Yeah talking about. There's no way. Stop it. I'm not taking ayahuasca. Yeah. I always say this. If you want to have a family, if you're plus 40 and you still want to be a dad, well you're not going to start with somebody 48. You know what I mean? I mean that's just biology. It's

not always about older men like younger women. It's like no, we want to have kids. And I can't start with an old bitch. Right. What are we talking about? They call a 36-year-old geriatric. So what are we talking about? I need you to outlive me. Yes. My wife's four months older than me, and I fucking torture her during those four months called her my older wife.

All right, we get to a point in the show called Fastballs with Fitz. I think I've done this before. Is this a new thing with the new studio? You've done it before but there's new questions for Fastballs. No, no, I'm saying this segment is the same segment. Okay, yeah. All right, I got it. Let's go. Trump! No kidding. Yeah. How would you do in prison? Um, it would be tough because I wouldn't know what gang to join. Right! You know what I mean? It'd be whoever's winning. If the Latinos are winning, I'm like, On el land! I am with you, my friend!

Use the henna tattoo in case you got a chance to ask. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm ready to go. You know what I mean? If the black dudes are winning, I'm over there. The Italians, I'm going to. The Jews, I'm wearing. What do you need?

So it will be tough. That'd be the. Being multiracial is cool unless you're in prison. I like that. That's good. What's the closest you ever got to a fistfight on stage? It was at the Comedy Store it actually was a fistfight guy a guy was heckling Nick Kroll before me and

When I went on stage, he was still going. Yeah, and I was like, all right so I Got what I wanted because I I I a comic. You're not gonna verbally beat me. So I was giving it, this guy rushed the stage. No. He rushed through the crowd. The original room or the main room? Yeah, the original room. Rushed the stage, he threw a chair at me.

What? Yeah man, it was crazy. And I threw a chair back at him, you know, and then like freaking Adam, he was there, Adam grabs him, you know, and I fucking punched him in the face. No. Yeah man, it was crazy. And then I finished my set and got a standing ovation. Adam Eaglet was there, Adam grabs him, you know, and I punched him in the face. No! Yeah, man, it was crazy.

And then I finished my set and got a standing ovation. No! Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Yeah, it was great. You killed! Yeah, I killed it. Damn!

Because I just remember like, Well, standing ovation because there's no chairs left. Ha ha ha ha! And that's the comic, that's why you get a comic to do your eulogy. They they're gonna take away all of your successes What is Have you ever joined any clubs in your life clubs Associations or clubs now

Comics never do yeah, cuz we have self-esteem Well, I don't know Friars Club when I was in New York. Oh, that's a different type of thing. Yeah, yeah didn't help you though. What about high school? Were you in any clubs? No, not really. Sports? I was in sports. You cut that as a club? Yeah, I played sports. No, not really. Yeah What was the sport? Basketball. Really? Yeah, I was a basketball player. Still play? And not anymore as you can see but I did for a while. Right. I played, I tore my ACL playing when I was 26, just playing with friends. You know what I mean?

Wow. When's the last time you apologized to somebody? It's probably my wife. You don't remember specifically? Yeah, because I apologize all the time. Every time I fart. Every time I, you know. I just like, I know that, I don't have a problem with that.

My mentality is I'm a gambler. Okay. So when you're a gambler, you know, you're going to take some L's. Yeah. That's how I argue. Right. I'm going to be like, I think this is right. If it's not right, I'm like, ah, you got me. Right. Right. Right. Right. But I'm going to argue like that. Yeah. That's strong character trait. Yeah, my wife doesn't do that. She just wants to win. So she's gonna have an ace up her sleeve. My wife's a counter puncher, I always say. I'll say something about, I'll say,

look, I gotta tell you, it really upsets me when you blank, and then she goes, yeah, but you blank, totally different thing. That's a counterpunch. Oh, my wife does that too. Let's stay on the fucking thing I brought up. Because I'm not I'm not trying to like shame you. I'm just telling you how I feel so you can be aware of it.

I just need you to go. I hear you. Yeah, I hear you. That's how I will be aware of that. But that's how people argue everything. And I hate that. It's like, say we're talking politics, right? And I might say, you know, if you're a conservative, you're gonna be like, well, you know, Obama did this, this, and this. And that person goes, well, Trump did this.

And my thing, I always go like this, oh, which one you want to talk about first? Because I'm saying they both ain't shit. So you want to start with yours and then we'll go... People don't know... Their brains can't function like that. You know, they're just like, well, wait a minute. All this politics is so stupid because at the end of the day, it's the corporations. They fund these campaigns. They write the fucking bills

and they hand them to the politicians and they put them on the floor. The president is like the commissioner of a sports league. They're just there to take all the blame and to be the figurehead. The people that are actually in charge of the United States, it's the Congress, it's the Senate. Yeah, but they're all getting funded by people.

But regardless, what I'm saying is, it's not the president. No, no. He's a quarterback that's getting all the calls. Yes, man! That's right. Yeah, you gotta sit next to Obama. Yeah. You know? That's what, you know, he's like, well I wanna do that. Right. All right, so what's the last thing I'll ask you? What's the, what's the hackiest bit you've ever done? Oh God, Jesus. Oh, some of my first bits.

When I first started doing stand-up, I remember it was, it was like, how come there's no black people on Jeopardy? And I'd be like, well, even if there were, you'd have to change all the categories, you know barbecue holidays Wait blind singer Man What am I very afraid?

In that same set one of my here's another of saying what is, you gotta say what be. Yeah. See? I wish I would have known each other. We would have tagged it up. That's why I sent you that bit, man, because we talked about it outside. I was in a movie, so I couldn't read it. I looked at it.

I gave you a tag you used. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's about that Megan Fox movie. But then another bit in that same one was, it was like, how come they don't know Clark Kent is Superman? And then I would be on stage, I'd be like, let me show y'all, Clark Kent, Superman. Let me do it again, Clark Kent, Superman.

The hackiest part is you redoing it. Yeah. You know what? Swings in that second laugh. Let me tell you something. I love it. Yeah. All right, brother.

Thanks for being here. Anytime, man. You're the best. And you got some dates coming up. You're going to be at the Improv in Dania Beach, Florida January 24th and 25th. Comedy mothership. Unless I booked this commercial, but 24th and 25th. Comedy Mothership. Unless I booked this commercial, but yeah.

Oh. I'm doing a mothership. Yeah. That's April 11th through 13. That's going to be a nice little paycheck. Yeah, I love that check. Comedy Club of Kansas City, April 17 through 19. La Jolla Comedy Store, April 30th through May 5th.

Get your tickets at ericgriffinwithak.com and check out Riffin with Griffin, which is his podcast. Yeah, buddy. Thanks a lot. All right. Thanks, man. Someone had a birthday. Yep, 50. Can't believe it.

50 years of wisdom. Great segue. We have health news. A CDC update. Pneumococcal vaccination is now recommended for adults 50 or older. Says here. We're over six times more likely to be hospitalized with numococcal pneumonia than adults under 50. I don't love those odds.

Same. Look what I found. Pfizer's Prevnar-20 is proven to help protect adults against numococcal pneumonia and invasive numococcal disease in just one dose, and millions have already gotten it. Continued approval may depend on a supportive study. Don't get Prevnar-20 if you have a severe allergy to its ingredients. A weakened immune system may lower your response. Common side effects include injection site pain and swelling,

fatigue, headache, muscle, and joint pain. For full prescribing information, please call 1-855-213-2138. Visit Prevnar20.com or talk to your doctor or pharmacist. I'm on Prevnar20.com now, scheduling my appointment. Good idea. Happy 50th.