Fitzdog Radio - Ian Edwards - Episode 1111

Episode Date: September 25, 2025

My pal Ian Edwards hangs out and talks about his new special, out on YouTube now! Follow Ian Edwards on Instagram ⁠@ianedwardscomic Watch my special "You Know Me" on YouTube! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/FitzYouKnowMe⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@GREGFITZSHOW⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@GREGFITZSIMMONS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FITZDOG.COM⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Oh, it's that time again. I don't know when you listen, maybe you sit on a beanbag chair with some Bose headphones and eat popcorn and just take it in. Maybe you have like a big old-timey radio. radio, and you plug it in and the family sits around it, cross-legged. Maybe you're working out, laughing on the fucking elliptical machine, falling off, making a scene. However it is that you do it, I thank you. Thank you for tuning in. It's a honor to be a part of your world. We've done a lot of podcasts together. Spread the word if you enjoy it. We get some great

guests coming in every week. This week is no exception. Ian Edwards will be here. He's been here before. Last week, Drew Lynch was here. We had a fucking blast. And then he went away to, I think it was in Spokane, Washington, did a show. And I don't know if you saw this on the internet, but somebody had, somebody collapsed and went unconscious at his show, had a seizure. I don't know. I'm not sure what happened, but it required several members of the audience to come together. They did CPR. They saved his life. And Drew stood there and calmed the crowd, got people to help.

Paramedics came. They took the guy away. He cried on stage afterwards, which I'm not sure how I feel about that. But he cried. Now, it was very moving. It was very powerful. And then I called him when I heard about it, so I talked to him about it, and he said that he went to the hospital the next day, and he spoke to the guy. He said he was an incredible guy, and the guy is a speech pathologist, which is so crazy, because Drew has conquered his stutter over the years.

I don't even know if you would have noticed that he stuttered during my podcast with him. I don't even know that we talked about it, but he really connected with this guy, saw him in the hospital, and pretty amazing story. So it just goes to show you, you come and do my podcast, magic things happen in your life. A lot of guys get laid, a lot of women get pregnant who do this show. I had a guy become a knight. He was knighted by the queen. I was just reading about Prince Andrew, who is an Epstein Island guy, his wife, who I think is Fergie, they just, all of her charities just dropped her, which you've got to think is a big fucking deal.

Like, she's one of the biggest faces of charitable organizations in the world. They all dropped her because they found a letter that she sent to Epstein apologizing that. that she had spoken out against him after her brother was named. I think she was trying to get Epstein to not talk about her. No, not a brother, her husband, right? Yeah, her husband, Andrew, who cheated on her with little girls. Ugh. When's it going to come out?

Huh? Um, this guy that I don't like, and I was at a comedy club, recently and I realized that he found out I don't like him, which I am so upset about because the joy of disliking somebody intensely is that it's anonymous. Once they know, it's not fun anymore. It's like, it's almost like, uh, you know, when the, when the Houston Astros had stolen the signs from the Dodgers, from the LA Dodgers during the World Series. And they knew what pitch the pitch he was going to throw so they were able to hit it that's how it is now from now on when i talk to this guy he's going to know i'm not a fan and he's going to block my my little

inroads my little how's it going man and he gives me some info and then i call my other friend who doesn't like him and we talk about it it's like i'm undercover i'm a double agent now he knows son of a bitch all right it's Ian Edwards now he's my guest today um I got this I'm wearing a golf shirt which I'm looking at myself on camera you don't I don't normally wear golf shirts unless I'm golfing that's kind of my rule like when I see guys at my comedy shows and they have golf shirts on I just think dude what other sport do you wear your uniform out at night you know play your sport take the fucking uniform off and put on a button down or a sweater or a cardigan even a hoodie but don't wear a fucking golf shirt because you look like a guy

who plays golf i love playing golf it is one of the biggest joys in my life i can't wait to retire and play four days a week but i don't want to be seen or i don't even know i'm talking about I don't want to be known as a golfer. It's just not, of all the sports to be known as being good at, golf is at the bottom of the list. Number one would be like MMA, you know, number two would be surfing. Number three would be lacrosse, ice hockey.

But golf, the whole stigma is a bunch of rich white guys talking about stocks, which is not. I play at Penmar, which is my local course in Venice, and it's fucking great. It's all blue-collar kind of dudes, a lot of guys that are older that have been playing there for 30 years and characters. And, you know, it's not like that. I do play the good courses. I get invited to do these benefit shows sometimes. I just got asked, actually, I'm performing at Bel Air Country Club in a week.

And they're paying me, but they're also giving me a free round of golf at what is considered. maybe the best course in L.A. So I'll whore myself out for free golf. Not free. I'm getting paid. I'm double-dipping. I was just in Denver this past weekend. Thank you so much to the crowds that came out. Literally, second favorite club in the country.

And as people know, I say that only so that nobody ever asked me what my first favorite. It might in fact be my favorite club. sold out a bunch of shows saw a bunch of people that come back every year I had Jeff Garland was in town playing the other club

so I went out for a whole afternoon with Jeff Garland and man that motherfucker cracks me up he goes a mile a minute it's exhaust I needed a nap

after hanging out with Jeff Garland but I really had a great time he's a fun dude how's my volume my volume's a little low I think I turned up a touch. I was thinking about like the worst.

I was thinking about like people were really drunk and high. Like everybody in Denver gets high for the show, which is kind of good. Like they laugh a lot, but then you talk to them after the show and they've been drinking and they're on edibles. And the thing is you come off as kind of dumb. You're literally killing brain cells.

you're lowering your ability to think quickly. You are abbreviating your vocabulary. You're dumber. And yet the worst thing anybody, you never want to be called. That guy's dumb. Dude, you're an idiot. How fucking stupid are you?

Like, it's the worst thing to be considered. And yet that is our number one recreational activity when we're not working, is to make ourselves dumber to meet up with people that we find interesting and funny and then all get dumbed together lower the level of the conversation why because it makes you feel more because it lets you access your your emotions go to therapy that's what i did I'm pretty shut down in some ways. I wish I was, I feel like when I drank, I was, it's true.

I was looser. I think I cried more. I was like Drew Lynch crying all the time. You also don't want to be called. There's so many things that people will call other people that nobody ever calls themselves. Like people say that guy's a libtard. And there will be a certain percentage of the population. that will all assess that person and go, yeah, yeah, that's a lip-tart or that guy's in-cell.

But nobody would ever say, I'm in-cell. Literally, not one person would say, I'm in-sell. And yet it's very obvious when you meet a guy who's online 14 hours a day and masturbating and hating on women and I guess it gets raised. It always ends up being against the Jews. any of these any of the hate any of the conspiracy it boy you do it long enough you're going to hate the jews i don't know why that's where it ends up that's where dumb think gets you eventually um but yeah and now antifa is becoming a thing that the that the government is now declared that antifa is a terrorist organization which is like saying that um

it's like saying socialism that's not probably not even a good it's like saying fascism is is a is a is a terrorist organization it's a it's a a it's a it's a mindset it's a what's the what's the word i'm thinking of it's not a philosophy not a mindset it's a ideology. It's an ideology. It's not an organized set of officers and captains that are sowing disruption. It's just a way to say, here's a big umbrella that we're saying, everything under this big umbrella is illegal, and then you can start throwing things under that that you want. You can throw in socialists. You can throw in progressives, you can start saying that these people fit the description of Antifa because it's such a wide misunderstanding of what an organization really is.

Wait, that's a bad example because those were also, no, it's like throwing the ACLU under there. It's like throwing any organization that, the people that, Greenpeace, you can put them under Antifa because some people that have worked for Greenpeace have committed acts of eco-terrorism. Therefore, Greenpeace is Antifa and therefore the government has rights to violate their civil liberties in pursuit of shutting down terrorism, which is just a big, but it's like what they did with Kimmel. There is just ways of going around the Constitution right now that we have to be very i'm not going to get political because we did on sunday papers and we lost i don't know how many people wrote in saying i'll let i'll never listen again i'm sorry that i have a set of beliefs

that might be a little different than yours can you just hear me out for four minutes of a one hour and 20 minute podcast is that possible for you anyway all right let's get to it i will be at comics in connecticut at the mohegan sun casino september 26th and 27th Fairbanks, Alaska, October 1st through the 4th, Vegas at Brad Garrett's, October 13th through 19. There's a Best Buddies benefit at the Comedy Store, October 30th, big name acts. Get your tickets now. The Den Theater in Chicago, November 8th, also coming to Skank Fest in New Orleans. Phoenix just announced that the punchline, November 28th through 30th, San Francisco Punchline, December 11th through 13, Hasbrook Heights, New Jersey, December 26th, and 20th.

27th. Go to Fitzdog.com, click on the link. It'll show you how to get tickets, buy some, bring some friends, support live comedy. I can't wait to see you. Got a new hour of fun stuff. My guest today is a guy who's kind of a hybrid. He is an actor. He is a writer. He's a comedian. He's written on shows like the Keenan Ivory Wayne show, the Boondocks. We wrote together on a Jamie Fox sketch show called In The Flow back in. a number of years ago, we wrote on crashing together on HBO. He wrote on Blackish, Two Broke Girls, The Carmichael Show. He's also performed on Conan at midnight. Just tons of, tons of shit. He's on Joe Rogan today. I'm competing with Joe Rogan for the same guest today. He's out promoting his new special, which we'll talk about.

Kickback. Get your popcorn ready. Settle into the Beanbag. here's my talk with Ian Edwards. All right. I'm here with my guest, Ian Edwards, who is a microphone challenge. He's been in front of microphones now for about 27 years. How many years you've been doing stand-up? Over 20 years.

That's the highest I tell people. Yeah. But it's been a minute. Do you feel like people say 14 years is how long it takes to get really good? Right. I say seven is like the first time you kind of know who you are. Yes. And then 14 is like a really good time.

Yes. to be like in like high gear seven is the least amount of time you should be doing stand-up before you start headlining rooms right i see these i see these guys like they do kill tony a dozen times and also in their headlining rooms and they're used to doing five minutes you know the world don't change i'm not even mad at them like you can't trust i didn't say i was mad at them i'm just saying that like yeah you can't trust the industry to figure this out for you you're right so especially in this the way the way like look how long i've waited for like a special yes you know what i mean so it's like hey man don't don't wait for people to tell you you're ready

no well bill burr did bill burr produce your first special yeah yeah yeah so you waited for bill burr to tell you you're ready no i waited for a bird to get a deal and say hey man you should have him on comedy sent you give him a special because yeah you never gave him one before right yeah So that's what I waited for. But I've done stuff for Comedy Central, like they're stand-up shows and shit. But they never gave me a half hour or anything. Right, right. Plus, it was always like, there used to be little talk shows and shit that you get on.

You know, like Tough Crowd was on for a while. And what was the other one that Comedy Central did? Was David Spade on Comedy Central? I think so. Yeah. What was that show called? I did that a few times. Lights out with David's Bay.

Yeah, I did Lights Out a few times. Yeah. That was fun. Yeah. I did that. I did, Baron Vaughn had a show on there. I think one time Comedy Central did a version of Russell Simmons Death Jam. So I was, I wrote on that. And was on there. And then Chocolate News was Comedy Central, right? Chocolate News was Comedy Central. Yeah. Were you on that? I just wrote on that. Just wrote on that. Yeah. Yeah. That was a fun-ass show. I was looking, you know, I always researched my guests, even though I've known you for a lot of years. I still do my, I do my work. That's good. That's good. It's good muscle to kill. keep exercising and flexing. Hey, chat GPT, who the hell is Ian Evers?

And they said, and they gave me a list of 17 E&A. No, you were the first one to pop up. But I forgot how many shows you've written on. You've written on a lot of TV shows. Jesus Christ. I forgot too. I mean. Could you remind me or something?

Because I don't know. Yeah, you wrote on Keenan. Keenan had a show. Yep. Shit. What else? No, I'm kidding. I remember it.

Well, you wrote. in the flow with Haphaon Crockett on Fox. Well, we wrote on that together, which was a Jamie Fox produced show. Right, right. And when we say Jamie Fox produced, Jamie Fox spent a lot of money. Yeah, I remember he did. Was it his money or the networks money? He had one sketch.

I came on late. I came on maybe halfway through, and they had already shot one sketch where they blew like half the budget on one sketch at a mansion with a bunch of sports cards. Do you remember that? Yeah, I wasn't on that shoot. Oh, you weren't. But I remember now vaguely the sketch.

So let me tell you something. We were writing on the show. We were writing on the show. Jamie wasn't even around yet. He was a producer, but he was busy doing something. And then he comes in, and then they shoot that sketch. And then, like, at the same time, the first set of sketches we wrote,

They were like, all right, we're going to put this show on right after American Idol. Like, this is going to be. Sunday nights, 9 o'clock. Yeah, we want this to do well. Yeah. And then the more the show went on, the more we got demoted. We're going to cut this down from nine episodes to six just to see how it goes. Yeah.

But then, so what did they, when they brought you guys in, it was you and Hugh Fink. And Hugh Fink, right? Experienced writers. Yeah. What did they tell y'all? Because they made you read all our sketches to determine what. So what was, like, you guys came in like the cleaner, the fixer. I didn't know that when I came in.

I just know I got hired. And then me and Hugh walk in. And then all of a sudden, like, the producer from Fox is like, all right, so you guys are in charge. And we're like, well, I didn't, first of all, I'm not getting paid for in-charge money. Oh, shit. They stay blindsided you all too? No, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it was just, I think they did it to freak you guys out to make you think that there was like new people coming in to shake things up.

And that was not at all that was presented to us. Yeah, well, that was a false. Oh, shit. So who did that? It was, I don't say his name. No, I don't say the name, but what's the branch of the organization, of the, we know the organization. It was the head of the production side, of the studio side, not the network side. Not the network.

Yeah. And so we came in, and I remember, like, they did tell. And also they're like, yeah, look at the sketches. So we're in the writer's room. And we're like, and we're like, there was so many index cards on the wall for sketches. And so we didn't, obviously, we didn't read all the scripts. So we're just like looking at the board. We're like, what's this one?

And so it said, it said, leave it to Bieber. And I go, I go, oh, okay, what's that? And then somebody goes, well, it's leave it to Beaver, except it's with Justin Bieber. And I go, okay, I go, what's the sketch? And they were like, well, that's the sketch. But who's explaining it to you? Who's the person explaining it to you? I think it was Chris Spencer, maybe.

And I was just like, well, that's not a sketch. That's just the title for a sketch. Yeah, I don't remember that sketch. Yeah. But I just remember. there was we had a bunch of really great sketches yes and that's when we got bumped up okay right yeah and then then all the sketches got thrown out really yes well that was before we came before you guys yeah so then we were like kind of deflated uh-huh the room felt deflated yeah so we

then we we wrote in deflation mode yep some news because we know those sketches were good yeah and they got okayed all the way up until a certain point and then somebody was like yeah yeah like if the network likes these that means it they got to be more harder because the networks likes them yeah so they threw them out and I was like but these are funny just regardless yeah well I think the other thing was so much money got spent on Jamie's early sketches that they had to sort of pare down how many could be in a sketch, whether or not it was remote, whether or not it needed props, whether or not it needed, you know, so by the end, by the time we were there,

they were like, okay, green screen, two actors. Like that was it, like that's why I came up. Like what we're doing now. Exactly. And we're starting, and this is at the peak. This is at the peak of this podcast. But it was like, I remember, well, the show was called In the Flow with Atheon Croc.

And Aphion is a very talented guy who does impressions, good sketch actor. And then Jamie was the producer. So they came together, but they weren't really working together. And it was almost like there was two camps of people working on the show. Yeah, Jamie's crew. And then you had A fiance crew. And Jamie's crew weren't necessarily the most experienced writers, not all of them, like some of them were. But then there was this one guy who was a full staff writer. And I said, and they said to me, well, you need to hire somebody for, I'm not going to say the guy's name. hire somebody for him and I said why and they said well he he has no how to write he can't he can't write he can't type and so he needs an assistant right meanwhile like the guy would he wouldn't even pitch like we'd have pitch meetings and he wouldn't he wouldn't even have an idea but he lived in jamie's guest house and so Jamie said well you should be a writer because you're funny and meanwhile you have like you know guys like Chris Spencer that are like super talented like and uh and then uh what What was the guy's name, the Boondocks guy?

Carl. Carl. Carl Jones, a fucking great writer. Yeah, and he's created so much stuff. And he, like, so it's funny, Carl came into, to me and Hugh Moore's office and said, they're going to shake some stuff up around here. But you two are good, because everybody's contract, what was it, a four, what was it, 13 weeks? 13 weeks. So then after 13 weeks, you get to.

decide if they're new. So like you said, like some of the writers weren't experienced. So they were going to like get rid of some of the inexperienced writers when the 13-week contract was up. And everybody's contract was up at the same time. Yeah. And I had felt good about the shit that I wrote

and so did Hugh. Yeah. And Carl was like, don't worry, man, you guys are good. Yeah. But they all going to, you know, exchange some people. And then on the 13th, a week before the 13th day, they called the producers not call

some other people called us into the office and they was like yeah man this is your last week no yeah because remember you didn't see me after and then me and Hugh would go I mean he was like I don't even remember that I thought we were supposed to

damn you guys were the best writers staff writers yeah yeah oh my Hugh Moore used to pitch the wildest shit Hugh was the kind of guy like Like, he would throw, some pitchers throw fast balls up the middle. Right. Hugh threw sliders, knuckleball, stuff that didn't always get across the plate, but when it did, it was like, it was like a killer.

Right. You know? He, I haven't heard from that guy in a while, but, but no, it was, it was crazy. And then I come in, and it's the first day, and we're sitting around the, we're sitting around the table, and we're pitching on stuff. And I don't know, I don't know half the people. Right. So I'm like, so somebody goes, all right, we need, we need somebody who's like a famous person who's like in the closet, like in the closet gay. And so someone's like Tom Cruise, somebody goes, John Trafalta, and then I go Wayne Brady.

And then everybody goes, like, everybody's eyes go wide and people like quiet. And I go, I go, what the fuck just happened? And then it turns out one of the writers was currently dating Wayne Brady. she was dating with and she goes trust me he's not gay I was like I just I'm just saying what I heard I don't know

and to her credit she was totally cool to me except then Wayne Brady came to visit her at work one day did you hear about this? No I was probably gone by then so Wayne comes to the office to visit her one day and and I'm standing and so

she's in her office and I went in to give her something and then I came out and then he was by the elevator and there was nobody around and then he looks at me and he goes you know I was going to beat your ass and then I just hear like snickering and and it was Hugh Fink was behind the door and he heard Wayne Brady threaten to kick my ass and he couldn't stop laughing and then I started laughing and then Wayne just laughed you imagine getting beat up by Wayne Brady he's a strong guy he's a dancer yeah he's a dancer Things that doesn't correlate as a, like, you have to be strong to be a dancer,

but it's not the first thing. He's a strong guy. He's a boxer. He's a strong guy. He's a bodybuild. He's a strong guy. He's a bodybuild. He didn't see West Side Story, the sharks and the Jets?

Those dancers were tough back then. And that woman, who was a really good writer, she went on to create a show and won an Emmy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very good writer. All right. And then Wayne Brady.

came out as something sexual yeah yeah it wasn't it wasn't by it wasn't homo it was like it was pan maybe pansexual or something something that I think encompassed that included being it's included dating yeah man what you accused yes or what you heard the rumors you right yeah yeah so yeah so it's funny but then he did that sketch on the the Chappelle show where he comes up as a gangbanger and that that broke it open for him that made everybody go like that before or was that before our show probably before yeah yeah so he was a little tougher then yeah so anyway um so you got a new special out very excited I haven't seen it because it's not out yet I haven't seen it either no no I've not seen it no too many time

were you sick editing it yeah yeah yeah like there were some glitches and every time it got whenever we do the final edit and we upload it to Vimeo just to look at it

yeah you have to like stare at it and not take your eyes you can't just listen to it you gotta listen and watch and I've done it so many times like I had a friend named Paul Olaia

like we do sketches and stuff and he's a comic see the guy that plays your roommate yeah yeah he's great but he has he's like a good director and shit so then he just took over like watching it and then he but i found five glitches which is a normal thing when you upload yeah and it and but last week he's like hey man i listen they got to get these glitches out yeah because i can't watch this again right right right yeah i was like i feel that's why i'm asking you to watch it you're a producer yeah yeah you got to watch it i can't watch that thing oh my

man it's funny though it's funny yeah but you're editing yourself yeah and watching yourself oh on a like a daily basis yeah not only do you dislike you'll see a bit that you've since done and you know you can do it better now and now you're watching like the shell of what the bit became and now you're locked into that and you're also looking at your stupid face yeah yeah and you're fucking how old you look you know and and and you just oh Oh, my guy, you just gets so sick of it all. But where did you shoot it? At the comedy store in La Jolla.

Oh, dude, that's one of my favorite rooms in the country. It's one of my favorite rooms in the country. You know, I fucks with the comedy store hard. Yeah. And they let me shoot it up there. So I appreciate them and they cooperated. We painted the back wall, got the crew up there. Really?

Yeah. Oh, nice. And then the crowds, those San Diego crowds. Killer. I don't know. They just come to have fun. I don't know what it is. Yeah.

They just want to have fun. There's no, because, like, there's so many political states now or cities, and San Diego, you know, it's considered conservative, but people to come to clubs tend to be more liberal. So they kind of leave that shit at the door. Yeah, yeah. You know, there's none of that, like, you can talk about anything. They treat it like the beach. They go to the beach to have fun and do all the beach here. Yeah.

They bring their surfboards or their nerve boards or their volleyball, and they're just, like, out there at the beach and they come to the club. Let's come in comedy club beach mode No, when I see a guy in flip-flops in the crowd I'm like, that guy's here to laugh Yeah, yeah You know, if I see a guy with a sunburn He wants to have fun A guy with a

I own a boat shirt You know what I mean? Right, right. Even a golf shirt. Yeah, I was thinking about this Like golf is the only sport Where you wear your uniform When you're not playing the sport

Hilarious I guess you'll see a lacrosse player with like a face mask walking down the street Unless it's Halloween Yeah right Yeah yeah That's their big day They get to show where they play lacrosse

And then So the special will come out on YouTube YouTube on the 23rd Yeah Of September At Ian Edwards stand up September Yeah

At Ian Edwards stand up And yeah It's It's a Oh, so I don't know if I told you this about the special. Now. So I shot it last year. I shot it last year and then I was going to release it early, like in January.

And then the fires happened. Oh, shit. I was like, you can't. Yeah. You can't be like, hey. Hey. I know shit is burning. Hey.

Here's a special. if you still have a house I'd like you to sit on your couch and watch this special no and then every interview you do around the country they're going to be asking you about the fires and you don't have five minutes of material about the fires but the fires just also kill the mood of the whole

like for me like you love California yeah right and I love California and I'm from New York but I'm not one of them New Yorkers I love New York too I love New York hard I paid the money for the title of I'm from New York.

That's right. Like, you know, I paid the rents out there. Yep. You know, I walked the streets out there. But I also feel like just being in L.A., it's been a good, fun, growth, learning experience. And I've reconnected with people like you and Joe out here. Yeah. And just other comics and made a set of new friends.

Because leaving New York, like, we had a good, or I had a good comedy, comic. friend base where we would hang out every night do our shows and hang out every night and just laugh you know what I mean and then to come to L.A. and figure out the same system and be able to get on stage and get writing jobs and make some money and like so I oh I feel like I owe a lot to California yeah and for it not disappointing me after leaving New York and I appreciate the beach and everything out here

and especially on January 1st of this year I went to the beach and I went to the Palisades so seven days later for that shit to be gone oh yeah yeah like wow that shit this yeah I don't think people realized it was a blipping the news for the rest of the country but we're still living with it now yeah we're still living with it now you know so the thing about the special releasing it now I want to I wanted to do something

during the fire for the people who suffered and victims and I was like let me release this special and all the money that it makes from views or ad sense

like I'll donate to a charity that helps victims of the fire so I don't make any money That's what you're doing with this special? Get out of here 100% yeah what's the charity

I don't know but I'm not collecting money so if anybody has an idea Yeah, yeah. Because I know there's some top heavy, like, what do they call those charities where all the money goes into it to the administration? Right, right, right. So, like, listen, just watch this special, and I'll do it on, I'll do it, like, I'll prove it, I'll show it. Like, I'll make a video, show people how much it make.

Right. And, like, if you, there's a legit charity, you know what I mean? Well. Let me know, I'll send the money. Yeah, I think that that's good. If people have ideas about a great charity, send them to Ian. What's a good contact email for people? Do you have like one for your website or something?

Yeah, yeah, at Ian Edwards. Ian Edwards Stand Up, it's a new email I just made. Ian Edwards Standup at gmail.com. Okay. Yeah. Send them in if you have an idea. Put it in the comments under the special too. Yeah.

Right. That's actually a great idea. But here's the thing. You can do a donate tab on your YouTube page. But I don't want to touch. Like, and then so people can donate to the charity. Donate to the charity. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, I'll do that too. Like, but I don't want, I want to give whatever money I make from the thing. Yeah. To a charity. That's beautiful. Yeah. I love that. So the donate, I can put the donate thing there too.

Right. But I don't feel like it's me giving. You feel me? Like, I want to actually give. Right, right, right. Like, I don't want to. Yeah, but look at it this way. I did a donate tab to me on my special.

Right, right. And I made like 10 grand. Right. So if you do that and you give the money away, that's $10,000 that would have been in your pocket. All right. So what you're saying, do that to? Do that. And then also with YouTube, as you know, the more views you get, the more ad revenue you get from the commercials they run on your thing.

So then you'll make whatever on that. And that's a lot of money. Yeah. I'll send that to the charity. So you're doing, and you paid for the special yourself? Yeah. So that's also a donation. Yeah.

But it's not a donation unless we. people watch it and make the get to that point yeah yeah yeah right all right well that's beautiful you're a good person i mean i'm trying bro yeah there's too much divisive what's it what's it what's divisiveness yeah in the world right like like and i'm a very hypocritical or critical person yeah like but i'm like you ain't doing nothing right to help nobody yeah so what are you going to do i know instead of just sit back and just be like look at like well that's why like like i like i like well that's why talk politics on my podcast like because I have one called Sunday Papers you know Mike Gibbons my buddy yeah yeah so we do that together and we try to keep it it's about the news but we usually

don't talk politics if we can you know we try to avoid it you know we do stupid stories where but then like when the Kimmel thing happened last week I was finally like I can't not talk about the fact that the First Amendment is completely being you know abused in this country and that's the backbone of our democracy, because once the government controls the media and the message that people are getting, they no longer have truth to help inform their decisions any longer, and you can control them. So I spoke out about that, and oh, my God, so many people. I'm not, I'm not watching your podcast anymore. I just dropped you, and I'm like, Jesus Christ. Like, I guess there's two sides to every story, but I don't see the other side of, you know,

forcing a show off the air because it went counter to what the president thinks you know anyway so i don't want to get back and we'll lose even more followers yeah man we need people to watch this i know i know and watch this uh and what's the name of the podcast the uh special untitled see you're laughing are you going to keep it untitled yeah is it going to be starring anonymous? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm pretty anonymous

comically to most people anyway. So there you go. And then you're going to go on Joe Rogan this week. Yeah, I'm going on Rogan this week. Okay, that'll be good. Yeah. Yeah, that'll reach some people.

Yeah. And then who else do? And I know you've done everybody. You've been on Marins. You've been on Pete Holmes. You've been on Joey Diaz. Yeah, but I got to get back on all of those. You've got to do them all.

I got to do them all. all that yourself yeah which is like terrible like yeah i'm tough i'm terrible at reaching out to people yeah yeah yeah so i haven't even really i know i reached out to you to do this podcast yeah yeah yeah yeah i barely text rogan yeah i was like i don't want to ask him right you know what i mean but i was like i got to now if it's good that i'm doing it this way because then now i'm not thinking about me right you know so i'm texting people uh to watch it to get the money from the views to donate so Yeah. I guess I got to not look at it as like me asking.

Well, you're asking for the people with burned out homes and the palisades. Right. That's how you've got to think about it. Listen, I'm trying to help rich white people get back on their feet, y'all. But Alta Dina.N. I mean, these are the guys that hire you on their TV shows, right? They need to get back on their feet sitting and hire me, right? You know what, this is for me.

Fuck it. This is for me. I saved the palisades. It's trickle-down economics. Trickle-down economics, yeah. Yeah, well, wait, and then the other show, we wrote on crashing with Pete Holmes. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Which was, were you there for the first year?

I was there season two. We did three seasons, right? Yeah, yeah. Season two and three. I think you were there two and three. But then we did like a- Then we broke stories for a fourth season. For a fourth season.

So we wrote scripts for a four. season that never got shot right so if there's anybody out there with deep pockets that misses crashing we got the scripts we just need you to pay for the sets and the actors right and i felt like that was a good season but the problem is the show kind of like judd kind of closed the show out like he kind of saw it like british shows have restraint british series they'll be like all right here's a story eight episodes three seasons you're kind of done you're done with the story The U.S., like two and a half men goes on for 10 years, you know? And so I think Judd had the restraint to go like,

we just told a really good story, and it feels like it wrapped, we wrapped up everything. And we were all like, no, no, no, no, no, there's another season out of this one. So we wrote the scripts, but then I think, I think Judd in the end was like, no, let's. I think it was Judd or HBO? Because who brought us back to create episodes for season four? HBO did.

But I don't know. I don't know who shut it down, but it left me one credit short. You know, in the Writers Guild, if you get qualified for health coverage, 17 years, doesn't have to be in a row, any 17 years. Then you get coverage for free for the rest of your life. That's their last Writers Guild job? That was my last Writers Guild job. Get out of here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Damn. I know. We got to get you, we got to help these people in the Palisades to get you back. Let me tell you something. So I have 16 out of 17 years. I need one more credit. So crash ain't got picked up. I would be right now I'm paying 40 grand.

You'd be eaten recklessly right now. You'd be like. I'd have ramen with shrimp, not the chicken ramen. Right, right, right, right. Yeah. You'd be eating candy bars right now because you could afford the health bill. You were like, this is on the doctor. This is on the gill, baby.

I enjoy some diabetes now. Yeah. But, no, so I need one more year of health coverage. and I'm out pitching a script next month. And we'll see if somebody buys that, then I'll be in good shape. Otherwise, you're going to have to pull me on one of the fucking shows you're on every six months.

All right, I bet. I'm worried. Like, once you told me that, I was like, have I done 17 years? And I'm afraid to see how short I might fall of the 17 years. Well, because the cable ones don't count. There's got to be a network WGA show. No, crashing does.

Oh, okay. No, but it's got to be, you know the ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Yeah, I've done, like, some, like, I've done, like, some MTV shit, some BETs. Yeah, that stuff's not going to count, but you did blackish, your blackish counts. You were on, um, uh, shit, Gerard Carmichael show. Gerard Carmichael show, that was network. Yeah.

I bet you're pretty close. Yeah, I might be closer than I think, but I just like, it's like my age. I don't think about it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Right. I was like, let me just keep trying to get on some shows and get some health care for life. I mean, look, you're 31.

I think you've got a lot of writing ahead of you. True, true, true. No doubt. How old are the women that you date usually? At least 30-something. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What's the oldest they are?

30-something. Yeah, that sounds about right. Yeah, because it's funny, like, some comics they really do date, not just comics, but like, I got friends from college that get divorced. You know, I'm 59. All of a sudden, they're dating 29-year-old women. I'm like, dude, what do you talk to them about, you know? What do you think they got divorced for?

Right, right. To date somebody your age. Yeah, I know. Which would be easy. Yeah. I mean, 59-year-old women, are you kidding? me in this town. Nobody, nobody even looks at you. Nobody looks at you. They don't look at you. Right. They don't look at it. Who don't look at who? A male 59 year old does not look at a female

59 year olds. Yeah. I feel like some 59 year old women are hot. Yeah. So they can get younger dudes. Yeah? Yeah. And yeah. Well, Annie's boyfriend is younger than her. And then she's not 59. No. She just turned 40, though. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Wouldn't you thought she was like 10 years younger than that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She shoots her podcast in this studio. Oh, she does? Yeah. But no, there's another comic whose boyfriend is way younger. I can't remember who it is. But female comics can pull young cock. Yeah.

Why'd you have to say it so porny? Young cock. I'm trying to keep the show edgy. I want the podcast to be edgy. I feel you. I feel you. You were, you did my podcast many times, but you remember my old office, my little office in Venice. That, that was that, or I did the one right across from the Cloverfield.

Yeah, no, that was it. That was it. That was it. You call it Venice? Yeah, I guess it was. Yeah, that's Venice. Maybe Marvista. You would know better than me.

It's either Venice or Marvista. Yeah. But that was, that was a small little rundown place, but it had good vibes. You know, I spent a lot of time in that office. hilarious it was like 15 by 10 and uh i during the during COVID man when everybody was trapped with their families and going crazy and drink it too much i'd be like i go to work and i would just go to that office i had my lazy boy i had my flat screen tv had a coffee maker in a mini fridge does your wife listen to this podcast no thank god so she won't find out not once she's

never listened a word yeah does i bug you not at all i love it yeah she comes and sees me do stand-up once or twice a year. Yeah, she's over. It's been, I've been together. She's not over. She was never into it in the first place. That's why I love her. You know, because here's the thing, like, if you get a 32-year-old woman, right?

Okay. How'd you get her? Charm, charisma. No, I'm just kidding. She saw me do standers. Exactly. So I like that my wife doesn't like me because of the stand-up. Did she, where did you guys meet?

The Friars Club in New York. Club in New York. Yeah, and so we had a mutual friend who introduced us. I said to the mutual friend, I said, I'm going to marry your friend someday. And then I proposed at the Friars Club three years later in the same room. You guys have a really romantic story. Yeah, it's good to have a good start story. I talked to this couple on stage this weekend. I was at the Denver Comedy Works, and I said, so how long you guys been together? And they go, well, we've been together for six months. And I said, why are you hesitating? And she goes, well, we were together before for like eight years. No, no, no, for like a year, eight years ago. And I said, well, what happened? She goes, he goes, I woke up in a Vegas hotel room and she was gone. Like, she just got up and left.

Oh, shit. Because she was like newly divorced and I guess they'd gone out for a year and she realized that she need. I go, so you needed to get with some more guys. Right. Because her husband had been her first, she lost to Virginia to her husband. And then she went straight to this guy. I said, so you went out and you got laid with a bunch of it. She goes, yep, I go, how do you feel about that story?

He's like, not good, but they were trying to get it back together. Trying to get it back together. So that's not like a story you can tell your kids, you know? That sounded romantic as fuck to me. You ever been engaged? No, no, never been engaged. You ever live with somebody? No, no.

You ever say, I love you to somebody? Yeah, yeah, all the time. All the time. your go-to move. No, it's not. When I love you, I love you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, people feel like,

so here's a revelation I had when I was like seven years old. And so as a kid, I'm watching TV. I'm watching TV, and I see a bunch of friends sitting down at a dinner party in this movie. And they're eating, they're drinking wine. and they're talking and they're having fun yeah and I'm young so to me they're old yeah you know but they might have just been in their 30s yeah you know so I was like that's what I want for the rest of my life you know what I mean that's what I want for the rest of my life and I said that

and it was a moment in my young brain yeah and then uh so I was like I don't know I just at that moment I was like, I don't want to be married. I just want to hang out with my friends, eat, drink, and laugh. Yeah, right? Right. I was like, I didn't think you could achieve that in a marriage. But I wanted to do that every night. Yeah.

And then, so then later on, I'm doing comedy. And even, like, 15 or 10 years ago, I realized that's what I'm doing, what I saw in that movie. Right. Because after every comedy show, all the comics go, go to a diner in New York or somewhere. Yeah. Or Swingers here or Fred 62's. And we just eat, laugh, and just drink tea, coffee, or alcohol. But there's no, you don't have to go home.

And to me, that's family to me. Like I did what I thought about or that struck me like when I was like seven years old. I just never felt like my sister has kids. My sisters have kids. Like I have family. Yeah. I have cousins. I have my mom.

Right. I have a brother. But I don't know. I just. But I see that with you. I see your relationships and they're deeper than most people's relationships are. You know, like I see you with like Sarah Mello. Yeah, yeah.

You know, like I'll see you guys after the show at West. you guys will go out and hang and and I feel like you have like an ease and like a deepness to your to your friendships right which I consider myself lucky enough to to be one of them oh yeah for sure yeah yeah and then you know you can you can get out the house we yeah like even for him the other night hung out with him the other night but then last night he's like you want to go eat and to be honest the pandemic is the only thing that kind of like make me stop going out eating as much as I used to. Right, right.

I don't know, there's just some type of a shift where we weren't doing it for like two years. So then it was like, I just got used to being home after that. Yeah, I know. I know. I watch way more TV now than I used to. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Same here. Here's a crazy shit, a week before the pandemic, I came in the crib from a shows and eating with a bunch of comics at 3 a.m. And I was like, 3 a.m., I'm going to watch two hours of TV and go to bed at 5 a.m. And I was like, man, this is great. It's like, I don't see this ever changing. And then the pandemic happened. And I was in front of my TV at 8 a.m.

Like a Midwestern family, man, just watching what. whatever everybody else was watching at the same time. Everybody else was watching it. And I said, you know, I don't mind this. Yeah. No, it's not bad when you're comfortable with yourself. Like when I'm on the road, I have good weeks and bad weeks. Like this past weekend was not a good week.

And I think it's because I don't work much in the summer, you know, because you know what it's like. You go to a club and nobody shows up. And then the club owner goes, well, you can't draw. And so I usually don't work in the summer. I did a little bit. But this week in Denver started my fall tour, which is like, you know, I go wait Thursday, come back on Sunday. But I think because it was the first week of it, I felt really lonely and I felt really depressed.

And the shows didn't suffer. The shows get better because that's the only time of the day I feel alive and I feel excited. And otherwise, it's just, you know, I'm sitting in the hotel just like fucking. counting time you know and but then once I get in the groove like I'm in Connecticut next weekend then I'm in Alaska the week after that like I'll get into that I just it's just it's transition getting back into the road mode yeah road mode is like you have to accept time and you have to accept your own voices and which means I got to meditate I got to work out yeah I got to try to read I got to reach out to people instead of shutting down.

Sometimes I shut down on the road. I'll hit you when you're on the road. Oh, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially Alaska. Last one I went to Alaska, the club owner's like, now you come up, you know, we're going to take you out, we're going to see the northern lights.

I get up there, and one guy, there was two guys that run the club. It's actually like three different clubs in Fairbanks. One guy goes out of town, and the other guy's like, oh, we're getting ready to move. I fucking sat in a hotel room in Fairbanks. I didn't see shit for four days. And it was dark out early. It was so depressing.

So I'm going back in two weeks, and I already said to them, I'm not coming unless you guys line. I want to see the itinerary. I want to be on an iditarod. I want to be ice fishing. I want to kill a polar bear. We're riding polar bears. I want to come home wearing a bear skin for this trip.

With salmon and my carry-on luggage. Hilarious. Still flapping. Yeah, I want to flap it. I want to Eskimo chasing me going, that's my fish. It's my dinner. But you got Roadware?

Oh, you got to know where you're writing on the show now. What show are you writing on? On, writing on Survival of the Thickest. That's a Michelle Boutotot show. I'm terrible. Michelle Boutotot show on Netflix. This is the third and final season. It's been a really fun, good run.

She's a hilarious, great comic and actress and just having fun with the writers. Some really, really good crew. Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyone I know? Solomon Georgia. Oh, I love him.

Yeah. Her or him? Him. Okay. Yeah, he doesn't. Yeah, he doesn't. He doesn't, I don't think he. I think after 9 o'clock at night, it's her.

Yeah. But super funny dude and very creative. And then, and then so they decided. already they said three seasons were out yeah Netflix is like three okay yeah what's the name of the show survival of the thickest what what does that mean uh it's based off a book she wrote a book about her life about doing comedy and meeting her boyfriend who became a husband and then trials and tribulation of trying to have kids yeah and so the show is about her catching her boyfriend cheating yeah and he she has she moves out and he had a great life for them

and she was a aspiring uh-huh so then she has to like figure out life at her age like from the beginning almost kind of like a crashing of uh if it happened 20 years later okay right right okay and she finds an apartment in brooklyn and develops a whole community of friends and goes on the journey to become like a stylish into design. And is this an in-person writing job? Yeah, it's half and half.

Oh, because I know there's a while where it was just... Yeah, yeah. The first season was all on Zoom. Yeah. There's some shows where I never met the writers. Uh-huh. I went, I ran into one writer and he's like, hey, man, we wrote on so-and-so.

I was like, oh, shit, my bad. I never saw you in person before. I've only seen you from here up. So seeing the totality of you through me. He's like, hey, Ian, we wrote on so-and-so for like a year. And I said, Mike, I didn't, I've never seen you out of this, bro. Seeing you like this for like a year. How did his body measure up to what you imagined it to be?

Was it bigger or smaller? It wasn't even his body that threw me. Yeah. It's his face with a body. Three-dimensional. Yeah, yeah. Right. Seeing him in 3D through me.

Right. Because I should have remembered the face, but I ain't never seen that face like with arms. No, it's like what people see a mugshot and then they recognize a person in the crowd. It's like I have no idea. Yeah. I went to West Palm Beach, Florida, and I did a show. And then this woman comes out to me after the show. and she looks familiar, but I don't, I'm not really sure maybe I've seen, maybe she's come

seeing me before and I just recognize her because she bought a pin from, I sell pins after the show, I should have bought one for you. And she goes, I go, she goes, hey, it's Cheryl. And I was like, hey, Cheryl. And she goes, you don't recognize me. I go, no, I don't. She's like, I was your therapist for a year during the pandemic. I was like, oh, shit. shit she was like i got her on better help you know betterhelp.com i got her on better help i got her on better help i used to therapists that used to get away from with your family yes yes yeah and i did not i mean as soon as she said it i was like oh yeah but like you know i think maybe because i would be like this is unprofessional it was unprofessional you know what

i'm saying you're not supposed to approach us in the wild no yeah yeah i'm not i mean this is free range comedy yeah yeah that was weird And also, she was kind of hot, like, you know, on the Zoom. Like, you know, I think they call it transference is when you start to have feelings for your therapist in therapy. You start to because they're actually shutting up and listening to you, you start getting attracted to them. Attracted to somebody listening. So I was like, you know, so I was always like, you know, I was in like a crush on her, but I was always like, well, you know, I was like happy. I'd be happy to do the therapy.

I'd be happy to talk to her, you know. forward to talk to yeah yeah and so then I saw her in person and it was like I didn't feel that at all right I just felt like invaded I felt like she caught me off guard she knows all your personal shit and she comes in a in a un unlicensed area yeah right so what would like and you only know how to talk to her like a therapist what are you supposed to do now talk to her like a regular human being yeah right right she's like well I really enjoy the show and I was like thank you but it brought up a lot of childhood stuff for me just now I start crying while I'm selling my pins hilarious you should have went home with her and laid on her couch she's sitting in the chair is that considered cheating yeah right right can I go back to your place yeah oh you want to have sex no I just want to really I want to have in person yeah I have you done therapy yeah in person or over the zoom in person yeah like six times six times yeah what's the longest you ever went for six times Oh, you mean six visits?

Six visits, yeah. Oh, I think he had six different doctors. Six visits and you feel like you pretty much figured it out? Yeah, she wasn't helping me come up with no material. That is the best place to get material. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was not a good writing partner. Yeah.

This is not, you know, Howard Stern whole career was getting stuff from his childhood by talking to his therapist. So I was like, if I'm going to go to a therapist, we better come up with some huge bits yeah yeah i don't need a whole routine every time but at least one or two bits yeah yeah yeah i came up with some shit therapy for sure you know i would i'd come out of therapy and i'd always sit down and i would like kind of journal what we just talked about because i forget everything otherwise and there was definitely some there was some good good childhood stuff that i came up with out of that i got to go back i get you on six times you never like you never feel like god i need some help no i mean you know some black people just be like yeah fuck it right you know i'm one of them

like right but i'm one of them like i made it this far yeah right i don't need to be diagnosed as black yeah she's going to figure that out before the first meeting let me knock on word if something traumatic happened yeah i'd probably go yeah but so you haven't had anything traumatic in your life luckily your father never hit you yeah call that trauma? Not to be stereotypical, but yeah, that's shit. The shit, some white people

consider trauma is my baseline. Yeah, we got a very low threshold for what's trauma. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I guess it depends on how you get hit, too. With a belt. Yeah, I got the belt. Yeah, I got the belt. Yeah, but I figured, I don't know, I always

thought, yeah, like I get it now and I understand, you know, what, you know, people watching this might think. But I was like, I feel like if I wasn't disciplined, like, I wouldn't, like, be lived the, pretty much besides comedy, straight and narrow life I lead now. Right. And plus even, you know, edge and also, like, even, I went to school in Jamaica. Yeah. right like the teachers beat you no straight up for him really yeah and then if you were like a repeat

offender like and if you had a female teacher they'd either get to principal or that there's always like a notorious male teacher like a designated hitter that like his beatings are legendary and they'd go get him to come to your class to deal with you you know what I'm saying and it's Jamaica so they don't hit you they just kick you no no no they got belts or yeah like they got like a leather belt in front of the class would they do it yeah everybody got jazz whooped in front of the guy like there's this there's there's two beating stories like there's I used to go to school with this kid named Shane he lived across the street from me and in the morning you got to

have your homework you know what I'm saying yeah that kicks off the day yeah And, like, in the morning, there's a people sitting down that did their homework, and then there's the people in line to get their ass whooped. No shit. If they didn't do their homework. Really? Every morning, Shane is, I'm like, Shane, I saw you the night before, bro, on your veranda. Why did you do your homework?

Like, I'm sitting down. We walk to school together. Why are we living these two different lives? Like, Shane would be in the line getting his hand with. Maybe, was that Shane? I think it was Shane. Yeah. Then here's the other story.

So you start the day off with an asshole if you didn't do your homework. I'd always do just do my homework. And then there was, my teacher was a banker. So every Wednesday, the school would go banking. So that means your parents would give you some money and the school opened up a bank account for all the kids. And then you'd give the teacher the money and you have your bank book and they write it in. and then they take it to the bank.

Actual money. Actual money. But it's like pennies. It's like a dollar or whatever. Just to teach you how to do it. Just to teach you how to do it. And then you come back and give you a bank. So some teachers had to go to the bank.

And our teacher was one of the ones that went to the bank. So then we'd either have a substitute, I forgot how it went, or she'd leave a certain amount of work for you to do. And when she comes back from the bank after like one PM or whatever, it's just like the morning. Like, if you don't have to work done, yeah, right. It's take them licks again.

Right. So, again, let's just say it was Shane. Yeah. So, Shane didn't do the goddamn work, right? So the teacher's like, bam, you know, you have to hold out your hand, take it, hold out your hand, take it. With a belt.

She's got the belt. Yeah, yeah. And then sometimes people would be like, it would be the first one hurt so much or the anticipation of it. You, like, pull your hand and then you put it back. And if you make her do this and miss, like, a certain amount, then it's all over. Then it's full body contact.

You know what I'm saying? Oh, my God. Then it's full body contact, right? So Shane is like, bam, man. And then he pulls it. He pulls it. So then she's pissed. So she's like full body.

So Shane backs up and they go behind the blackboard. Like they go behind the blackboard. They disappear. You see the top of her belt coming. And then you see her coming backwards like this. And then Shane is coming back. And he's got his belt out of his pants. No, no way.

She's back. He had enough. He had enough. I think he took his belt out and beat the teacher. It was like a swashbuckler, old school pirate movie fans. Both their pants around their ankles

because they have no belts on. Oh my God, can you imagine doing that in a U.S. school? Yeah. Even if you threatened to do that, you would be fired. Yeah. Do you think they still do it like that in Jamaica? I got a check.

Yeah. But, yeah. I was just, I was trying. hilarious Jesus I was trying to get no ass openings I got a few here and there yeah I remember one time my father told me he took his belt off and he told me to put out my hand so I put out my hands and he hit it and my dad was six foot two from the Bronx he was a tough guy and he he slapped my hand and it didn't hurt that bad so I looked him right in the eye and I put my hand out again and he goes turn it over so I turned my hand over where you know the bones are and then he hit that and and I yowl like a dog. And he did that a few times. Why did you look at him so defiant like your Denzel Washington from glory? You just act like it hurt.

I know. I should have been like a W.W.E. guy, you know, falling down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, I had a defined attitude. I didn't like anybody. Telling you what to do. Yeah.

Yeah. Right. So, all right, let's do a thing called Fastballs with Fits. I think you've done. done this before. Yeah, let's see. Do you remember? I think so.

I can't remember anything. I can't remember anything anymore either. Yeah. Hopefully the listeners can't because I'll be, we're doing the same segment. All right, fastballs with fits. Let's do this. Some questions. You're going to answer them right away.

Mm-hmm. Okay. Who killed JFK? We don't know. Maybe the mob. You don't think it could have been the government in any way? I feel like maybe the mob would government's permission. So the mob ordered the hit and the mob executed it?

I feel like the government and the mob was very intertwined back then. Right. Yeah. You know what? I saw this old YouTube video of a guy that was interviewed in the 70s, and he said he was one of the mobsters. he was that was there that day

and they interviewed him from his home and he said he was going to die soon so he just wanted to so he just told like this whole story about that day and he met Jack Ruby to not Jack Ruby what's his name

not Patton Oswald John who's the guy who killed Lee Harvey Oswald he met Lee Harvey Oswald and like he told like this whole I forgot the guy's name this whole thing about

months leading up to it what he had to bring how he got to town what he left in and like who else he saw and there was so many moving parts yeah because they just wanted to make sure they got it done that day right yeah so he didn't he was a part of it and it he didn't have to actually end up doing it yeah but he was involved but you think about how many people would have had to have been involved you know like you know you've got all the security You got so much cover up. You got all the planning. You've minimum 50 people.

Right. And not one of them talked. Right. You know? And I believe the CIA was definitely involved. Right. That's possible. Yeah.

He did, I think he did mention some CIA operators, but he got in through this, I think, a Chicago mob boss that he kind of raised him and that he came up in the game. Oh, okay. And they wanted Kennedy gone. Yeah. you know, for whatever their reasons was. I think it was because of the casino shit. Well, there was a casino shit. There was also the Bay of Pigs.

They wanted Cuba. Cuba. Cuba casino shit. Well, there was that and also like, but, but, you know, actually, JFK was trying to open up relations with Cuba a little bit. And he was also trying to warm things up with Cruz Chev and Russia, which the CIA was, you know, this is the Cold War. This is when the government was making money,

hand over fist from the defense. contracts. And then he was working with the civil rights activists. They didn't like that. He was working with the anti-war protesters. They didn't like that. You know, there's a lot of people that didn't want Kennedy to be around. Right. Is there any projects that you're ever involved in that you regret? Any project? Myself, me. You should have backed the better horse? Yeah, should have backed a better horse. I totally regret this project what was i thinking but you know after i picked the assignments too late you can't can't get out of it so i was like fuck it you know you have no other career options left yeah

shit um who's the worst guy that ever opened for you not by name but just like do you remember somebody open it oh shit it's funny i was kind of talking with hey zeus about this club but not the scenario yeah so fuck it i did go banana Yeah, in Cincinnati? In Cincinnati. And the host, and I brought Davey Wester with me. You know, Davey Wester, he has cerebral palsy, so he's featuring. Okay.

You know? And there was this host, he's from out that way, six-something, it's like seven-ish and, like, huge, you know? And I forgot, but he was telling, I wasn't there, but he's telling Davey in the green room that he should be featuring and shouldn't be Davey and some shit like that saying this to the guy with cerebral palsy saying to the guy with cerebral palsy and he was like then he messed up both our intros yeah yeah but I thought that was an accident but then I when I heard from Davy later on and then he did something to me that I normally would blow off but then the next day and he'd done something to piss off the people that go bananas yeah so then they hit me up and I've never done

this before. And they was like, do you want him back? And I said, no, let's get rid of him. You mean the next night? Yeah. Yeah. Because it was a third, we did the Thursday. Right, right. I was like, let's, why, why have that? He's huge. The green room is small. Like, like, say the size of that bathroom. The green is the size of that. And so it's me and Davey and this huge as a dude who, with this energy. Yeah. That thinks he's better than us. Yeah. Yeah. Let's get that out of it. Yeah. I like that. That felt good. Yeah.

Pulling out of bad, too. It didn't even feel good, but it was the best thing to do. Like to enjoy the weekend. Well, I just had a show, I was in Denver, and one of the comics on the show. They have different comics on the show every night when you're at the comic work. So this guy comes in, and I'm sitting in the green room, and he comes in, and you know, I introduced myself, how you doing, blah blah, short, you know, small talk. And then he goes, he goes, I have to tell you, like, years ago, I showed up to this club in, like, I think he said, like, St. Louis or something. And he goes, and I came in.

and you came into the green room and like the showroom was like hot there was the air condition was broken and you came in and you were like I told them to fix the air conditioning it's so goddamn hot in here and then he goes and then you looked at me and you went and who the fuck are you and I was me like I go why would you why would you say that to me like first of all I don't think it's true like you may I maybe I was in a bad movie you know how people always blow stories up over time you know you always have to be the bad guy you're the good guy there's nothing in between And so I was probably in a shitty mood or whatever

But I was like I'm about to go on and headline a show Like do you want me to apologize So I literally said to him I go I can't believe you would like say that to me right now You know And he's like oh no no I just I thought Like there's a funny story Makes you feel like shit

I go I don't think I'm a bad guy So anyway that was weird And he was one of the He was one of the openers So what'd you do? I just I just you know I didn't make a deal out of it You know, I hung out with him later, a small talk with him later.

I mean, I'm not like, this all I need is to go, like, he was a dick twice. I would have doubled down. Get this fucking guy out of here. Oh, it was you. You would have gotten him fired, yeah. Oh, that was you? Oh, that was you? Yeah.

Thank you for reminding me. Get the fuck out of here. And tell me to fix the air conditioner on the way out. Yeah. All right. What about, have you ever lent anybody a lot of money? Yeah. Did you get it back?

Nah, because I don't loan people money to get it back. Yeah. Like when I lend people money, I lend them the amount that I can afford to lose. So if somebody wants to borrow some money and it's higher than the amount that I can afford to lose, I'd be like, listen, I can loan you this amount. Yeah. You know what I mean? But when I loan it to them, I'd be like, I don't necessarily need it back. I don't say that to them.

Yeah. Just so that if they take a long time to pay back and something to pay back. Yeah. But if they don't, I just don't want us to not be talking. Right. So it doesn't affect the friendship if they don't pay you back. Right. That's good.

But, and I do it that way, like, I can afford to lose this. I don't want this to affect our friendship. Right. Because you can't just be running out of friends over money. Right. You know what I mean? Right. So, yeah.

Now the word's out. Now they've done the podcast. Yeah, now I'm never going to get back none of the money that I have loaned out now. I want my money back, y'all. Yeah, and I want to talk to you after the show. Actually, I got a question I want to ask you. Have you ever not finished a set on stage? Yeah.

Even if you finish a set sometimes, you feel like you didn't finish. Yeah, right. The night I was at the upstairs, and I had another set to get to. The show started late, and then I only had maybe 13 of the 15 minutes, and then this guy was interrupting the whole show, And he'd throw off the punch lines because he'd draw people's attention to shit that he was, like, throwing out.

And then when I finally decided to deal with him, the light came on. And I had to go, and I was like, this guy won. Yeah. And the audience saw me rattled. I didn't have the time to even relax and, like, take the five minutes I would need to, like, defeat him.

Right. And win that night. Right. And I just had to, like, throw out, like, a mean, And let's threat like, you're lucky I got to go. Did you say that? Yeah, some shit like that. But not in, not in fighting terms, but in terms of like to show you that I am the comic.

Yeah. You know, and this is my stage and this is my night. Yeah. But I got to fucking go. Yeah. Because dealing with you, I'm already anxious about being late for the next show. Uh-huh. Dealing with you would, you know, would eat into that time.

Yep. And I'll still be thinking about how I got to drive to the comedy store from down. town afterwards. I just took the L. If you're headlining a show, you're up there for an hour, you know if something like that happens, you can absorb that five minutes. You can handle that person. You can get the show back on track.

But if you're doing 15 minutes, first of all, you don't want to, you're there because you're probably not making much money. You're doing it to try new material. So now I can't try my material because I got to like teach you a lesson. So, yeah, that's frustrating. All right, finally. Ian Edwards, what's the hackiest bit you've ever done? Oh, last night.

Last night I went full hack. Because I did a show in Oakview, which is right next to Ohio. Okay. And so it's out there. It's like the freeway ends and you're in this town, but everything is like, sparsely placed yeah you know like and and everything is black the only lights you got

is your headlights yeah and and i was doing this moose lodge no way yes like that boy i hope this special works out for you man yeah yeah well i was doing i've done shows up there during the pandemic the same guy jake gallo he would do dude i do a pizza place for jake yeah so the pizza place like in the strip mall yep which was like, it's a pandemic. You're like, I need to get on stage. And it's the most fun fucking crowd. Exactly.

They're the best. Exactly. Like, how the fuck did this turn out to be one of the shows of my life? Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like outside of a pizza parlor in a strip mall. So he booked the Moose Lodge. Uh-huh.

The Moose Lodge. In the middle of nowhere. So when I went on stage, you know, it's a moose Lodge is only have white people. Uh-huh. And it's dark. And I was like, you know what? I went on stage and said, First of all, you can't invite a black person to the Moose Lodge in the middle of nowhere

and expect them not to feel like something's up. Like, this is the beginning of a horror movie. Yeah, right, right, right. So I just went into, like, me being the only black guy. But I couldn't not do it because it was there. And then there was one black guy there. And I was like, how long have they kept you here for? That's like a Jordan Peele movie.

It felt like the beginning of your Jordan Peele movie. Because it was in the middle of Norway. Normally I wouldn't have went there. I knew it was going to work. Yeah. They were dying. Yeah. And it was definitely hacky.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it fit the fucking moment. Yeah, to do it. And then I went into my original material. Right, right, right. I like it. I have to do it. All right, Ian Edwards, the special is called Untitled.

It's on his channel on YouTube. Support it. Make a donation. The money will go to a charity later to be named. Just, oh, just, and that's the thing, I don't want to handle money, like, I'm bad with money. So that's why I just watch it and get the views up, and I'll give that money. Okay. Like, I'm not even sure I'll put, like, if there's a donation thing for, like, a direct charity that I don't touch, I'll do that too.

Okay, that's good. Like, any money you donate to me, I would say, let me, let me look up, like, a good charity. And I put the, like, the link to it. This sounds so shady. It's not, I'm just, listen, there's two things. I want to help, but I'm also bad with money. I got to help in the most base line. So now, if the special makes money from people watching it.

Like, I know I can take that amount of money. The YouTube ad money. The YouTube ad money. That comes passively. You don't have to do anything. It just comes in. Yeah, and say, hey, let me take this amount of money and donate it to said charity. That I can.

You're an amazing guy. You're a great American. I'm trying. Started out Jamaican, turned into a great American. See, all these asswopings worked out. They worked out. Beat your kids, people. Get out your belts.

Be it out your belts. Beat your kids. All right. Thanks, buddy. All right. Thank you, brother. See you. Appreciate you.

Thank you.