Fitzdog Radio - Jason Ellis - Episode 1121

Episode Date: December 24, 2025

Broadcaster/ Skateboarder/ MMA dude/ Comedian Jason Ellis comes in announces he is NOT gay. Great. talk to end out the year.  TempoMeals.com/FITZDOG for 60% OFF your first box! Follow Jason Ellis on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@wolfmate Watch my special "You Know Me" on YouTube! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/FitzYouKnowMe⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@GREGFITZSHOW⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@GREGFITZSIMMONS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FITZDOG.COM⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey now, hey now, happy holidays to you. Hope you're not going to have too much drama with your families. I realize that Jesus Christ and God, his father, there's a reason why they put triptophan in the turkey it's so everybody stops fighting it calms everybody down i put a little tryptophan in the gravy just to give it that extra little the little boost put on some football now my family actually is pretty low on drama we got a good family um my cousins i grew up very close to all of them and I'll see them. Sadly,

most of my aunts and uncles are gone. It's just my mom and her sister, Dolores, who's one of the funniest people I've ever met in my life. And, yeah, brother's sister will be there. I love

my sister's husband. Anyway, long story. It'll be good. It'll be good. I'm in New York for two weeks. My wife and kids are in South Africa for my wife's nephew's wedding. And I stayed back because my, this is so complicated. My wife's mother's companion slash boyfriend is too sick to travel. So I said I would stay back and watch him so that Aaron's mom could go to her grandson's wedding. So am I staying with Johnny? No, because I'm staying

in Virginia the mother's apartment who lives ready for this one building next door to johnny uh they live they've been together for probably 30 or 40 years and every night they meet downstairs and they walk out to a restaurant and they have dinner seven nights a week and then they go back to their own apartments and it works beautifully. And if you can afford it, apparently this is the way to go. This is a very Manhattan couple. But they're not. It's weird. But it's great. And I fucking love Johnny. We just, we watch sports and we get takeout dinner from the best restaurants on the Upper West Side and talk philosophy. He's a philosopher. His father was the head of the philosophy department at Yale University for like 40 years and Johnny's a philosopher and a writer.

He's a lawyer. He was the head of legal services for the elderly, which helped old people from being evicted for his whole life. He wrestled at Yale. And I have a blast one. We have a lot of laughs. A lot of raunchy talk. And I'm loving being in New York. During Christmas, it's the best. ran into Tom O'Neill, author of chaos, totally randomly. I'm walking down 16th Street. I look up, and I literally had to rub my eyes like it was a cartoon, like, what? So I said, and we had been texting during the day, like you want to get together tonight.

So hung out with him at this old bar in Little Italy that we used to hang out in when we live down there as neighbors. And, oh, I'm listening. And then I see a very attractive young woman, you know, maybe 30 or so, not grotesqually young, but enough for me to go, huh, she's pretty hot. And then I look at who she's walking with. And it is a girl in college that I dated and Rebecca. And now I am checking out her daughter, who by the way is older than she.

She was when we dated in college. So, weird, existential. Maybe I recognized Rebecca in her, but I was like, she's a pretty girl. Didn't stop, did not stop. It was one of those things where I was late. I was going to see my son in Brooklyn.

I was running to the subway. It would have been a half hour talk. so I just moved on sorry Rebecca if you listen to the podcast you look great daughter looks better you look better than her when you were 20 in college you look better than your daughter does now does that make it does that make it better uh hanging out at the clubs but it's just new york is great I talk to everybody talk to people on the subway every waitress pet and fucking And then being at the clubs, I was at the stand one night and, you know, just, you just talk to me. Bonnie McFarland, by the way, is, I've always thought she was funny, but God damn, she was funny the other night.

She did this joke about dealing with conspiracy theorists and flat earthers. And she's like, I'm not a flat earther. I guess, I don't know. I guess I had a globe when I was a kid. I guess this guy had a poster. That's just a smart joke. Went to the cellar, saw Keith Robinson, who I always love seeing, Sam Meryl, David Tell.

Who else? A bunch of people. I can't even name them all. I had some fun sets. um saw esty who books the seller who i literally haven't seen in years and i was so fucking excited i i almost had my tears almost welled up in my eyes i have so much affection for this woman who championed me when i was a young comic in new york i'm going back 30 years she started booking me at the cellar all the years i was in new york she

gave me most of the nights that I put in for avail. She gave me shows every night. And I got by on that money and eating free dinner upstairs at the Olive Tree Cafe. Maybe it was half off, but it was a meal that I needed at that point in my career. I was fucking broke. And she was just always so sweet and edgy. And I always liked her taste in comedy. And she was really like a den mom for all the young comics and she's still there 30 fucking well she's probably doing it at 40 years booking that club seven nights a week not just that club there's there's three other clubs that she books by herself she's from israel and she's a character anyway it was great seeing her um what else in new york uh oh and then i did we might be drunk i don't know if

I'm supposed to talk about this, but they had a surprise guest. Fuck it. Nobody listens to this podcast. We had this kid named Rizzler. The Rizzler came in, or is it just Rizzler? He's like 11. He's this pudgy little kid and he touches his face like this.

Anyway, I never heard of him. He comes in and these guys, Mark and Sam were freaking out about it. They were so excited. And we ended up a tell was sitting in on the podcast and we were very inappropriate with Rizzler. His father was in the background and I was like, how was he not pulling him off of this podcast right now? Oh my God. I laugh

so hard. I don't know when that comes out soon. Saw O'Mary, which is my, it's the best show on Broadway right now. Jane Kirkkowski, Kirkowski, whatever her name is, you know, from 30 Rock. She stars in it. It's hilarious. I took my son. That was

his birthday present from October. And then I went back to his apartment. He's got a very cool apartment at Bushwick, which is a great spot to be a young person in right now. Lots of dive bars. Very diverse. It reminds me of the old New York.

Manhattan is just a it's just boring it's just it's a lot of rich white kids and you know there's the crazy I feel like the homeless people are crazier and then the rest of it is just trust fund kids hung out with my brother-in-law Shaheen and my two nephews played some ping pong on 99th street and yeah and talk to my wife they're in south Africa my my daughter's sick, my son's sick, my sister-in-law's sick. You go all that way and then you get fucking sick for the trip. Oh, so hopefully it goes well. Anyway, what else? Yeah, so I was on the 4th Street subway platform and there's these preppy kids like right out of a, out of a movie script. These prep school kids, they had on like the, you know, the penny-lo

loafers and the khakis with the crease and Oxford shirts and blazers and crew cuts. And one of them starts pissing in front of everybody on the tracks from the subway platform. And I said, hey, motherfucker, you can get pushed on the tracks doing that shit in New York. And then the other two guys looked at me like, yeah, we know he's a problem. And I go, you shouldn't hang out with that guy. I go, based on that, you should never hang out with that kid again. again. And, uh, and they're like, yeah, we know. And then they fucking left him there. They left him on the tracks. I was like, good, good. That kid needs to, he needs to learn the

lesson. All right. Let's get to it. Uh, shows coming up. The meadowlands at in New Jersey at bananas December 26th and 27th. Come celebrate Christmas being over. Cleveland, hilarity is January 8th through the 10th, Atlanta punchline, January 15 through 17, Austin, the mothership, Sacramento, Philly, Lexington, Kentucky, Houston, Fort Worth, come out. We'll see you there. Fitzdog.com for tickets. Also, I want to remind you, this is the time of year. You may have some leftovers. You may not, but it's tough to make extra food. You're done cooking. It's time for somebody to do it for you. why you got tempo, balanced, fresh meals that are actually good for it. Look, they taste

amazing, like restaurant quality, and yet they just take a couple minutes to make. So don't skip meals. I know you're sad now. Maybe you're laying on the couch, but you can get dishes like Southern mushroom gravy chicken. That is some comfort food. How about an enchilada beef bowl? that that is the perfect meal they have so many choices uh i'm supposed to tell you how many choices they have but i think they have like 20 or 30 choices you can pick from uh every different type maybe you want protein packed meals up to 30 grams of protein they got calorie conscious meals carb conscious fiber rich it's uh it's flexible tempo was the official partner of the 2020 25 CrossFit games, so you know that they are athletes level.

Oh, yeah, 20 recipes a week, perfectly proportioned. So do it. Fresh, chef-crafted meals right to your door. For a limited time, Tempo is offering my listeners 60% off your first box. Go to Tempomeils.com slash Fitzdog. That's TempoMeals. dot com slash fits dog for 60% off your first box. TempoMeals.com slash Fitzdog.

Rules and restrictions may apply. I have to warn you. My guest today is Jason Ellis. He's an Australian, you know, but they're fun. He is the host of the Jason Ellis show on Sirius XM Satellite Radio. He is a professional skateboarder. He was an auto racer. He sings.

At one point he had the Guinness Book of World Record for the biggest drop on a skateboard, 70 feet. He's to the same called Ellis Mania, which was a crazy, it was kind of a precursor to Skankfest, but just, you know, boxing matches and insanity. Anyway, he's the best. I fucking love this guy.

He's been on my podcast many times. I've been on his, and we had a really good time last week. And here is a recording of a conversation between myself and Jason Ellis. Enjoy. And hey, happy holidays. Welcome to the show again. I feel like you were just here.

Me too. Jason Ellis. Yeah, I'm back. Are those, now, the teeth? They're real. Oh, yeah. They get knocked out. Anything that gets knocked out.

Anything that gets knocked out goes back in gold. Yeah. Okay. And how many do you get to seven of those now? Something like that. This one got knocked out when I was ready for this. You need 13 years old. And it's the same.

You need to put a gold one in. Nobody sees it. I'm seeing it right now. Gold. Yes, it's time. You can do it now. There was a time. you couldn't do it

because you're too white but now sky's the limit dude if I had the money all my teeth would be gold here's the thing about me and you and I've known each other for 15 years

you knew the old Fitzdog now you got the preest driving yes you had a way different energy fair

you were on the balls of your feet ready to braw Like, you had a lot of guests that would not come back to your show after the first interview. Because you came hard. Yep. And people couldn't handle that. Yeah.

I didn't care. Who were some of the big blowouts and guests that didn't come back? But I know Andrew Dice Clay still hates me. Yeah. And that wasn't on purpose. That was an accident. Was that from the show or in person? In person.

Yeah. He came on. He was friends with. with my boss's boss. And my boss was like, I want, we're going to, I got pitched him and I said no. And then my boss's boss brings me into an office to have a meeting. I don't really talk to him, he ain't got time for me. Is that serious?

Yeah. Yeah. Tim Sabia. No, not Tim Sabian. Tim's a good guy. Who's Ross? I know. Ross.

Yeah. Zapen? Zepan. Yeah. He's a nice guy. He was a Howard Stern buddy. Yeah. And he got sent to L.A.

So he was mad that he was in L.A. Because they kind of demoted him. Oh, he wasn't happy, yeah. Yeah. So he was like, now I've got to deal with this dickhead. You know what I mean? I'm like, fair enough, dude. I get your angle.

And he's like, why don't you want him on? I'm like, he's just not a fit for us. You know, like, I don't want to do that. At the time, I just didn't think it would fit for what I was doing, you know? And he was like, well, you should have him on. I'm like, oh, should I? You know? And he's like, and I was like, no.

And he's like, you're having him on. I'm like, don't tell me. what to do. Really? He got a little, he got a little heated on me. Uh-huh. And I was like, all right, if it's going to make you happy, I'll do it. And he's like, he wants to play his kid's band.

He wants them on the show. And I'm like, no way. Wait, his kids band? Yeah. No. Oh, yeah. So I say no, right? Uh-huh.

And he's like, well, you play their song. And I was like, dude, because this is the thing with those guys. They never listened to me. They never listened to the show. Meanwhile, you're the biggest show on 101. That's the only reason they put up with me is because people were listening. They did not really like me. That's this in my opinion.

And rightfully so. I'm not a corporate guy. I was not a team player. I was like, you guys suck. You know, I was against you. But that's kind of the vibe of Howard. He was always anti-establishment. Yeah.

But anyway, he comes on. And I'm a fan. I wasn't that huge of a fan. But I respect anybody that's done level. of what he's accomplished you know course he comes on the interview's going great and then he's like i'm going to bring my kids on and i'm like what wait who comes on ross no uh dice oh he did oh got he came on and then he's like i'm going to bring the kids in and i'm like what do you mean he's like bring him in the studio we're going to play their music and i'm like dude okay you know

and i'm like i don't like that you're telling me what to do with my show but i can tell you Hell, you're friends with my boss's boss. And you're swinging your dick right now. And I still had that attitude where I was like, I don't need any of you. Right. Like, you can all go, fuck yourselves, you know? But I'm like, all right, because it's live on the air. And I'm like, I don't want to get into it.

So he brings them on. And they're nice enough. And they play the music. And it's not good. That's it. And I've got fans. I've got millions of people. You're saying Andrew Dice Kids' band is not good.

I mean, just for the record, for people that are watching for the first time. I hate that I mean, because this is going to make him hate me even more. I don't hate him. Yeah. But they came on and all I said was, I played it for a little bit. I stopped it and I go, you guys are not signed by a record label yet, are you? And they go, no. And I go, well, yeah, you're not ready yet.

And they took that. Because I didn't say, because my fans were going to be like, they know how I talk about things. They know this is not like really good. Yeah. And they know that Jason, if they weren't here, Jason would destroy this band. Yeah. But instead, all I said is, you're not, like, signed with a record label yet.

And they go, no. And I go, yeah, well, you're not ready. I can tell. They took that. And this is coming from a guy who has had albums come out that did well. I did have a, I was signed to a little. Right. So you're not coming out of nowhere.

And even then, I would still say my band was shit. Yeah. Right. These guys were not as good as us. your listeners count on from you is your truth and I've seen personalities whether it's TV

you've seen TV hosts change you've seen radio show host change and their audience just is like they leave they're like I need somebody telling the truth in my life that's how the show got big in the first place I was a DJ that just said

this is the worst band I've ever heard but I got to play it so here's these pieces of shit yeah and people were like this guy hasn't said one nice thing about anything he's played. I got to hear what he says next. And then my boss was like, hey man, stop talking bad about the music.

Use MySpace and see who they are so you don't have to say anything bad about the music. So then I see the doches and they look like dickheads. So now I'm like, look, these guys not only suck, they look like dickheads. And people were like, this is funny. I like this guy. And that's how the show turned into a talk show.

They let me talk because there was so many people listening to me being a DJ. So now it's like, I don't know, 10 years, 15 years later and Dice is like, listen to this band. I'm like, they're not very good. I didn't say anything what I usually would. I just said. Was there a blow up?

Big time. You tried to fight me. No. Yeah. And everybody loved it, but I, I've never been a shock jock. Like, I don't start fights. I don't want to start fights. And I don't have, like, I grew up in a, like, if you get like that with me, I don't, I'll fight you.

Sure. You know, like I don't, now I, won't but back then if you like talk like you're going to do something yeah we can do it sure you know like i and i'll fucking finish it dude like i won't stop yeah and i'll regret it afterwards but it's in me yeah i'll fight you to the end if you want to and have you seen dice clay since this no never dude i'm terrified because he was so mad the kids were mad at me they stormed out and then he stood up over the desk and that's when i was like i stopped talking because now He's like, I've been, I've, I've fought bigger people than you, and I was like,

no, you haven't, you know, because you're not, you don't know me. Yeah. You know, like, I've been training for 20 years, and I'm, I'm glitchy. Like, there's something off in me. Like, I will go, dude. He probably went to that gym in Brooklyn where everybody goes because they think it's legit. Everybody's. And he probably sparred with some guys that were fans.

Everybody thinks they're tough. All men think they're tough. I think I'm tough. I know. I know. You've got an anger problem. You're probably taking care of that now, all right? Very much so, but it still comes out.

Right. I remember you talking about road rage where I was like, holy shit, you got issues, dude. Yeah. But I had that, you know? I took care of that now. You've got the road rage mixed with the discipline of having really trained in martial arts and boxing. Well, the good thing about that is I've fought UFC guy.

I thought, like, world champions, guys that have the belt. And they've, like, I've hit them with everything I've got and they've congratulated me. Yeah. Because it didn't do anything because they could kill me. and I'm like okay you're not as tough as you think you are and it's happened to me hundreds of times I am aware that there are many people out there

that can destroy me quite easily on the streets of normal people I can do that to you but it's not a thing that I'm proud of or my only thing is like if you pick on somebody if you're harassing a woman I will stop you

sure but that's all it's good for or little people whenever I say see somebody messing around with a little person, I will jump right in. If you kick a midget, yes. Fitzdog and Alice are in there. Right. Or Asian people. Right. You mess with a Chinaman. It's over. I look like I should join in this argument, but I'm not going to. This is the postmodern Asian people know karate, so you got to watch out for them. There you go there. By the way, I'm not sick.

I'm over a sickness, and I just have residual chef flam. Skankfest, baby. Woo! Oh, yeah. Speaking of fighting, you fought at Skankfest. Kind of. Now, if people don't know what Skankfest is, it's essentially you take all the comedians that people go, that guy's offensive to me, and you put them together, and you add mushrooms in the green room,

LSD being handed out, naked roast battle, a ring set up where comedians. fight each other and after party at the barely legal club never went to that I don't do any of that anymore no I'm done with strip clubs I actually had a bit of a I will never do the naked roast again either dude I left can I talk about your penis briefly and I when I say briefly I mean the opposite of briefly sure you have you have a shotgun down there and not only is it it long, but it's wide. You have girth, length? Oh, my God.

And it's a decent shape. Should we be racist again? Like, this is terrible. Yeah, yeah. I mean, wow. Thanks, Greg. Although, I have to say this. You blew the room away until what's the guy's name, the black guy that came out later in the

big a dick? Good. Good. I mean, I hate to. Let's talk about him. stereotypes but Jamal is that his name yeah he's a good dude funny guy he's great yeah he started at the store and now he's out oh what a body see the ass on him I did not I didn't look at anybody uh in the naked road we had a conversation after this I saw you at about two o'clock

in the morning and you were complaining and you were like you know I'm sitting there's this girl who has an only fans page he's got a pretty rocking body and she was sitting next to you you were judging so you guys were behind the table and you're sitting there and you go and i got this porn star and she's staring at my penis and she's trying to give me lines of coke and she's brushing against my cock with the spoon with the line of coke i go i go do you realize how many guys with regular jobs in the Midwest would love to be in this position right now you made me realize and you're complaining about i'm a recovering addict and sex addict and it was just not healthy for me to be around You're right.

You're hiding. I'm happy for them. Yeah. But I'm not supposed to be there. And I didn't realize that until around about then. Right. I thought that particular night, the host of the show, started out really sharp and funny. And then the show literally went into a coma because he was, I don't know if he was drunk or whatever, but he just started rambling.

And slurring. And slurring. And he's got 2,000 people are in the audience. and the show just went stillborn. Yeah, it was not cool. That's another reason why I was like, I don't want to be here. Yeah, here's the thing.

If you're at Skankfest, we get it. You're going to party a lot. Be a pro. When you go on stage, be sober, be prepared. It gets slushy after. There's nothing entertaining about watching somebody who's fucked up. Yeah, but that's the problem with people

that, you know, use that stuff. It gets a hold of you and you start hurting people. and hurting yourself. Yeah, I look at Chappelle. Everybody talks about, there was a while where everybody was like he's the best comedian in America.

Not when you smoke pot before you go on stage and then drink a bottle of tequila while you're performing and you do a three-hour set. And then you get Louis C.K. gets up and does an hour that doesn't miss a beat that's sharp and thought out

and tagged and turns you would never expect. Like there's no comparison. No. No, it's not even a... And Chappelle maybe by far a better performer because here's the thing I'm realizing more and more about stand-up is it's what's happening before the punchline. If you're an orator, if you're a storyteller,

if you're a presence, that's 90% of it these days. It used to be 50% of it. Now it's so much more about people buying into your narrative and your flow. Yep, I agree. And Chappelle has that like nobody else yeah i i've you know i was a professional athlete so you know since i got sober i'm 54 i'm not as good of an athlete as i used to be this is life yeah but because i'm sober it's an unfortunate uh thing to realize when you're 50 that my whole skateboard career and fight career i could have been so much better yeah because i can i'm so much safer on my skateboard now at 54 than I was when I was 38. Right.

Because I don't, I have more of a whereabouts. I can see where everything is. Yeah. My whole life, I've been high. Yeah. So with comedy, to me, this is the third time. I'm lucky enough to like be in a game where I love it. I'm passionate about it.

And I'm, it doesn't matter that I'm 54. I can still be fast and good at it. Yeah. But how do I go about being good at it? I don't get high before or after or in between. I only think about it all day. day. And I try to do my best every time. And whatever happens good or bad, I critique the living shit out of it all night after it. I'm like, how can I make adjustments to be better? Because

that's what I'm here to do. Be really good at it. And I see everybody else. And my only, because I'm a competitor, I go, okay, well, if you guys want to get high in the parking lot, that just means I'm going to, I'm going to catch you. I'm going to pass you. Yeah. There's a couple of exceptions of people that do get high. And look, who am I to disparage Chappelle? I'm just saying I wish he was more focused because he has the capacity to be Richard Pryor. Do you think that it's because he's so accomplished that now he's kind of coasting? I wouldn't call it coasting because I still think he's incredibly creative. Agreed. And he still is. Yeah, I still think he's amazing. I think you're talking about this one show you saw, right? He's not doing that every time. I can't speak for him.

That is a show I saw. But I think that there are a couple of people who can get high and do very well on stage, and I won't say their names. But then you really have, if you look at a lot of the great comedians, they were very accomplished athletes, they were great musicians. Some of them went to good colleges and were pseudicomaloudi. Whitney Cummings went to Penn. Right.

Yeah, she's supercalcadius. So I think that there's a work ethic that comes from that, background and now I'm talking to this girl last night I'm trying to mentor this girl and she's like talking about management and she's talking about networking and I'm like no if you work hard and you do well at stand up it will all come to you this is a meritocracy like no other entertainment if you're an actor it's a it is about schmoozing and networking and all that stuff but if you are the person that is the biggest laughs, you will get hired and you will move to the next level. Sooner or later.

It's all you got to worry about. I think that's the good thing about being accomplished in another facet of life where I've been the worst skateboarder in the world and I made myself one of the best skateboarders in the world. How did I achieve that? Well, comedy, if you do bad in comedy, you feel bad for yourself. It's hard to go to sleep that night. Maybe it's a bit of a struggle in the morning.

But it's not like the price you pay when you're bad at it. skateboarding. Like when you go to hospital over and over again and you're in the ER all the time and you're doing rehab, like that's why I say it all the time. I'm like, you know, if I bomb, I drive home. I don't go to the hospital at all. Well, and the other thing is when you get injured in skateboarding, you can't, as they say, get back up on the horse. Whereas with stand up, the next night, I find that if I had a bad set, I love when I have a second set that night because that's the one you kill on yeah yeah and that is just like not an option like and then there's the you know i recall these big injuries where i've come back from them and there's like a fear

that you have to get past i love i love beating it but i don't reminisce the times where i've been knocked out and shattered my wrist and had like these crazy surgeries and then i'm back and i'm like don't fall on your wrist don't hit your head again and then you do the trick that you got hurt on and the fear of before you go in again to do the one that that took you out. Like, I don't, well, that's trauma. I don't miss that shit at all. That's trauma. Yeah.

Which is the thing that you get, the definition of trauma. When you have so much trauma in your life, it becomes an addiction. Oh, no kidding. Yeah, like the things that I've done in my life, especially like some of the gay stuff. Like, it's, it's to relate back to the trauma that happened when I was a child. You were molested by your father. I was molested by a few people. Oh.

I didn't know that. Yeah, women, guys, a couple guys when I was real young. And then when I was a teenager, some women, my stepmom's friends, slept with a few women where I didn't realize at the time. Because if you're 16, you're like, hell yeah. And then you get to 50 and you get sober and you start analyzing all the things you've been running from. And there was a couple that have happened this year when I was like, wait. Right.

wait that's that's that's that's that's molestation if someone's 35 or 40 and they sleep with a 16 year old that ain't cool right son of a bitch she did that yeah you know at the time I was like man I used to brag about it tell your friends yeah yeah people are you sleeping with her my yeah right and then you know my boys would high five me it was cool no that was Zach Gallifanax's joke is like did you hear about the kid who slept with his teacher just died you got high five to death but yeah i mean there's a movie called

uh perks of being a wallflower which you should see it's about uh a woman molesting a teenager and i did i gave the movie away but it's very powerful and it's something that isn't talked about it dude i went to a camp my mom took me to put me in a camp for uh you know because i was doing bad in school and getting expelled from schools and stuff being in fights and stuff and i was 16 it was a three-day camp and when i went she her naturopath a woman suggested that i go pay had to pay for me to go and i was there everybody there was old and they were having uh emotional breakdowns and stuff like that oh so it was a camp for all ages yeah and i was the only one that was young really yeah and i was the only one that was young really yeah and

It was like all these meditation pool, you know, and looking in the mirror, talking yourself. And I'm 16. I'm like, this is gay. Like, I'm not doing this. But, you know, I've got to be here. And then on the second day, I think it was, they go, we're going to a swimming pool. And I was like, oh, cool.

I get to hang out. Like, this sucks. And we go to the pool, and it's all rented, booked out. And they go, so we're all getting naked to get in the pool. And I remember being in the locker room going, dude, I'll pull my dick out in front of people like I'm a kid yeah and I wait till everyone leaves and I walk out and as I walk out I realize everybody else is already in the pool and now I got to walk around the pool naked and everyone's looking at me and I'm like this is uncomfortable and then the leader of it goes okay pick a partner

and I'm like nope you know like I'm not walking over to anybody with no clothes on so everyone picks a partner and the only two people are left is me and this like 78 year old dude yeah dude And I'm like, he's like, hey. And I'm like, oh, hey. And they go, so you're going to pick your partner up and cradle him? No. Dude, I cradled an 80-year-old man naked in a pool, and I'm just pissed, like, so dark on it. And they go, okay, so switch.

So now he's cradling me. And it's like a rebirth, they said. And I'm like, a rebirth. Because I want to die. I don't understand how this is a birth of any kind. I'm pretty dark and I'm traumatized, quite frankly. yeah like this old dude's dicks touch in my back or whatever i'm like this is so bad it ends the naturopath lady comes over to me i'm in the corner like shell shocked and she comes over she's like you enjoying the

camp and i was like oh yeah you know like because i don't want to say no and she got really hairy bush because it was like the 80s sure and her bush is touching my wiener yeah and i'm like does she know that that's happening because she's that close to me and i didn't think anything of it and then the day when it's the camp's ending that night she goes instead of your mom coming to pick you up i'll drive you home because it's on the way back to your house and i was like okay so she drives me back on the way back she pulls over and has sex with me really and then i don't tell my mom my mom tells me the next day uh she wants you to go to the office she wants to talk to and i'm like maybe she wants to bone again or something i don't know because i don't realize that that's like a scarring

situation and you're like 16 at this point yeah I go back, she's not there, her husband's there. And he walks me into the office and goes, So, I know you had sex with my wife yesterday. And I'm going to tell you this, like if this happens again. And once again, my trigger is, if you corner me, I have no choice. You know what I mean? And I don't do flight.

I do fight. Right. So I picked the phone up off the table and it's like, you want to fucking go? Come like, we can go right now. Yeah. And he was like, calm down. I'm just telling you not to. And I'm scared.

Shitless. He's a man. I'm a kid. I didn't think I was going to win. And you have a lot of anger from what happened the day. It's unprocessed anger, but you have it. Completely unprocessed. I thought I scored. Right. And then I told my mom, and she's like, what? She's like, I'm not going to. You told her the whole thing? Yeah. And she was like, I will never speak to her again. And that was it. You know, she didn't know. And then there was a few other, my parents friends that slept with me at parties. You know, my dad was like, fuck, so-and-so last night. And I was like, hmm. he's like it's all right he's like i know i know like you weren't in your bedroom you're in

the spare room with her i'm like yeah he's like yeah nice wow because that was like there was no boundaries with my father do you feel fear so whose sisters that girl's sisters oh really they were all married to my dad's friends no shit i felt guilt on that and they were all in their 40s at least do you ever feel fear because of Because it's a legitimate fear. No, that when you're around kids, that there's a danger because it's such a self-perpetuating thing. I went the opposite way. Yeah.

I have a trigger where, like I don't want to say, but there's people in comedy that have done things to younger people. Yeah. I don't want to be in the same room as them because I'm scared. Right. Of what I'll do. Right. So I'm more that guy. Right.

Like, I don't have any attraction to children. Yeah. But if you do, I'll kill you. Yeah. You know? I really think about that ethical question of, like, known child molester in the neighborhood, gets out, you know, good lawyer. I can't know that. I mean, and they get hit by a car and they're gurgling blood and you're supposed to call 911.

You just don't, right? I'd finish it with my hands, dude. Yeah. It's in there. Yeah. I have to live with that, you know. Right. But I don't feel bad about it.

Yeah. I've always said, like, when I crush comedy and retire, super successful comedian, because that's going to happen, I know that. Is that on your vision board? It's in here. I don't write it. It's in here. But once that's done, and I have a lot of money, you know, I can, I'm good with my hands.

So I might, like, look for those guys and just knock a couple out before I go. I've always thought about a TV show about a bunch of things. vigilante suburban dads. They got a poker night. And then one night they just, they're talking this talk. And they go, one guy's a cop.

Yeah. One guy's like, he's like, he's like, he's an internet. He can get anybody's infulty internet. You get a military guy. And they just decide like,

well say we're going to poker night and we got a windowless van and we just take out one person a week. But then it's a comedy, so things go wrong. Well, they're going to go wrong. Yes.

I'd love to watch that show. That's a good show, right? Yeah. I'd love to be in it, watch it, I don't care. Whatever I can do to help. So, have you done any acting? Yeah, a little bit.

Yeah. Do you like that? Because some people say it's for, I'm not going to say the word, but F-A-Gs. Yeah. That acting's for F-A-Gs. Yeah. I can say that word, but you can't. I paid my dues, all right?

I can say it. You earned it Fuck, yeah I earned it All over me God damn it But yeah, it's harder Like if I, if you want me to be in a movie where I'm intimidating

Yeah Well, yeah Right, right But it's, but Usually the things that I've done It's like accidental where Hey man, we want you to, I was in Paul Blart Mallcob

No, you weren't Yeah, and they were like I didn't realize I was training at a gym and the guy that is the main coach is friends with Kevin James and Kevin said hey do you just crazy question but

do you have anybody in your gym that can skateboard and he goes I have a pro skateboarder that is a pro fighter and he was like oh let me see a photo oh done he's in so I don't audition I go straight to I'm flown to Boston

to be in this movie I have no idea what I'm doing what it's about. I see, I get there and there's other skateboarders and BMXs that I've been friends with for decades that have auditioned and done all this work because they want to be in the acting world. They were like smoozing up

to people and stuff. I've got to do my radio show. They got me an empty, broken shoe store where they gave me a crate and a table and I did my serious XM show five days a week. I do the acting. Then I go back to doing the studio.

Amazing. And they all go to like champagneing with each other. I don't know anybody. I'm not even a part of it. And this is like high production. This is lots of money. They had the mall. Yeah. The mall was there. Oh my God. Really? Yeah. We were skating in the mall. The mall was shut down. They built like a ramp down of escalator to jump over a gap. They were like, hey, can you ride up this wall? And I was like, well, if you put a ramp there and they're like a ramp. You had the Guinness Book of World Rutgers for the for the biggest drop, 70 feet. Nobody's ever done that before.

Yeah, but there's this other dude, Danny Way, he's way better than me. And they offered him 10 grand. He was like, no way. And they were like, do you know anybody that will do it for 10 grand? He's like, yeah. And he called me. Yeah. And I was like, 10 grand.

Holy shit, because I was never like, Danny Way is way better. I can do it. It's okay. All right. All right. So you're in the mall. Did you have a lot of lines? No, I had two lines and one of the, my main line was on DVD and the deleted scenes.

because I was not like I also that I can't read yeah I can now but at the time I was like just I didn't have the confidence to even really try yeah and the script was like uh something about uh color me mine like a bear like and I didn't even know what a color me mine was and they're like you're making a joke so I'm like trying to be funny and the director's like you're trying to be serious and I'm like what and they're like do it again do it again I're like okay that's terrible so my acting was bad but I did do my own stunts. I had a fight scene with Kevin James.

Nice. That is where I shined. Nice. Because I was like, you can just hit me, dude. Yeah. And he's like, really? I'm like, yeah, just go for it. Like, I don't give a shit.

That's great. And then I did a movie with Dax Shepard Chips where he wanted to, he had to punch a guy. And the guy that I knew who's a proper stuntman was like, you're not punching me, but I do know a guy that can take a shot. So I got punched. That's a, Dax and I. we're friends for a while because of that so that's your niche i'll take a punch john wick for the next whatever john wicks or any of those movies i would be i you know an excellent guy to be killed

yeah excellent but if i'm a doctor don't hire me yeah yeah getting punched in the face is something that most people go through their life go through their lives never experiencing and are so afraid of. Yeah. And it sucks, but I've been punched in the face. I bet you have. And you know, well, yeah, it's a punchable face. I'm not saying that. I just know you, dude. Yeah. I mean, I had a brother who was 13 months older than me. So, you know, that was just, that was the work out. It might have something to do with. That was the training. But also your attitude. Yeah, a little bit. You're ready to go, dude. If you're ready to go, soon or later, someone's going to punch you in the face. But it's not that bad. You're kind of, you're kind of,

Oh, the punch. Yeah. Some people, because I teach boxing to people, and I know women will just listen and do it and learn pretty quick. Men have this thing where they already think they can fight, so they don't really want to listen to you. They're pretty sure they've got it figured out. And for me, when I coach people, I look intimidating, so I get respect from men because they think that I'm a killer, you know. But it's usually, I have to punch them in the face. to get them to listen to what I'm saying.

Yeah. Because there's this thing where it's like, oh, I've had a few scraps, so I pretty much know what I'm doing. I'm like, okay, well, if you really do, like, do you want to like do it on me and see how it goes?

Because if you're not going to listen, I don't know why we're here. Yeah. If you want to just have a fight in the alleyway, we can do that. But like, I'm trying to teach you the art of boxing. It's a sport.

It's like skateboarding. I'm like, why don't you just drop in on Tony's ramp and people would be like, no way. I didn't skate. Yeah. I can probably beat that guy. Yeah. You have no idea.

Well, that was the thing about Skank Fest is watching amateurs get in the ring and box. You go, oh, it's all footwork. Like, these guys don't know where their weight should be when they're swinging or when they're defending. Isn't that a big part of it? It's a huge part. There's distance. There's timing. There's reading people.

Like, I'll fake stuff to watch what you do and make you pay for it. Also, the canvas was slippery. So I couldn't do any of the footwork that I did. I had to just plot along. And then it's also pacing your. yourself, knowing what you got in the tank. Well, there's people, that's like, I'm older, man, but I have more gas in my tank now because I don't ever hyperventilate or breathe heavy.

Yeah. Because I don't, if you hit me, breathing heavy doesn't make the punch less hard. Right. Like, if you're coming at me with like a 10 punch combination, if I hold my breath, that doesn't help me from moving. Oh, I see. So no matter what happens, it's very George Foreman like. Remember how George Foreman gas against Muhammad Ali?

and then he won the belt like a decade later as a fat guy. That's where I'm at now. Like when you come at me, I don't change. My heart rate doesn't go up. I just soak him up, move. And then I'll see you like with a laser. Like I let him go at me. DJ Laser.

Uncle Laser. Uncle Laser, who you fought at Skank Fast. I let him go and then when he went enough, I saw him gas out. And I was like, right now it's time for me to like pick you apart. You literally picked him up at one. point from behind he was down and you put your arms around him i just was i said to play with the guy because i don't want to hurt him he's a good dude and it's not about that was there was there shit talking before he was doing more of a shit talking for the people around yeah yeah like i ain't

afraid i'm like okay okay he's like we're fine i'm like really fight he's like yeah really fight and i was like i don't think that's a good idea yeah and he was like what you're talking about i'm like dude i'm not about ego anymore but like yeah i've been doing this for 20 years years. I'm probably 40 pounds heavier than you. Like, I will kill you, dude. And he's like, well, I've had five amateur boxing fights. And this is a thing from being in the game a long time. When people say stuff, I know it's not true. Yeah. Straight away. And I was like, oh, really? You can't find. There's nothing wrong with that. What's his background? I don't know Uncle Laser. He worked in the oil mines. He's a oil guy. So he's done hard labor. So you stand up?

Yeah. He's a big guy on. kill Tony. Oh, okay. Yeah, he moves tickets. Yeah, oh really? Yeah, kill Tony guys do that. Oh, yeah, they do. It's funny because...

He's a good dude, hard of gold. I've been on it about 20 times. I've done one minute on there. Tickets's not always moving. Right. Well, no, that's because you're a guest. It's the ones that get a golden ticket or become a regular on there. Those are the ones that move.

Because they're doing stand-up. They're doing one minute. Even going on Rogan now doesn't move tickets as much as doing a show like we might be drunk because you're doing standard. When you go on Joe, you go deep. And especially with me because we've been friends for so long, like we get personal and deep. But it's not necessarily showcasing my stand-up chops. It's a different show. It's not a comedy show.

I think people get to know me more than anywhere else. But I don't know if they go like, oh, I want to see that for an hour on stage. Yeah, I think the internet is. not what it used to be and there's a new audience that watch it all and what's the new thing you heard about vertical what is it called

those dramas that they shoot vertical dramas maybe they're like little short this is the future man they're little short they call it vertical because you don't shoot horizontal because people want to watch it on their phone and they're like three minute

dramas and they make like 60 of them in a series. They're almost like soap operas. But there's funny ones also. And like that's huge and it's blowing up because this is the thing that the studios, studios have been sitting on the sidelines watching people make

millions of dollars on social media and they don't know how to wrap their greedy fucking hands around. They'll figure it out. And well that's what this is. This is like finally high production stuff. Okay. Where they're, you know, which is good. I'm glad key grips. and camera people are getting jobs

but you know evolve entertain do your thing I don't care what's your what do you think when you picture yourself

obviously stand up is a big crux of where your energy is going right now and that's going to bring you somewhere but in terms of social media how do you picture yourself connecting to people

over the next five years what a good fucking question I was I don't know if you need to say that after you ask the good question because now I don't even need an answer someone's getting well then fuck off That's going to be the clip.

That's going to be the clip for my show this week. Wait, I'm not on it. Just me asking the question. It's just you answering, asking really good questions. Tune in next week when Greg asked another riveting question. Don't worry about the answer. That's not what it's about. He doesn't listen anyway.

He's thinking about his next question. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why wouldn't you after that, Wopper? I'm Dick Cavett all of a sudden. sick and oh shit you sure you're not sick I'm not sick

it's just residual flam no I I took care of this cold I did ginger tea with honey I did you did it naturally

all vitamin C packs I did the zinc tablets humidifiers huge at night and I didn't leave the house for five days

and then Friday night I went out and did some shows texted Dr. Drew Penske Penske and got antibiotics. No, you didn't. But it's not a virus. It's a virus, not a

bacteria. Whatever, cured it. Really? Yeah. Hey, man, there's more than one cold that was going around, Skankfest, not necessarily having the same thing. Yeah, there was some genital colds going on at Skankfest. I didn't get a part of that. I'm not in that. All right, so answer the question.

To me, more, it's not about the numbers. It's not about the fame. I don't care about that stuff anymore. Like, I've, I've squashed that guy. So to me... So you don't feel like a need, to be, because with your radio show, I feel like you were very creative. You did so much stuff outside the studio, Ellis Mania.

I remember doing a go-kart race with you one time, where you lapped me twice. And like you were having fun and expressing yourself. I'm surprised you didn't get out of the cart and try and fight me. I was laughing too hard. The second time you came around, I just, I couldn't even drive. I was laughing so hard. but like do you see the internet as a place where you can express yourself creatively oh definitely yeah so what in what way mine is more of the things that i've gone through in my life

what can i do to help somebody yeah so to me the numbers thing i don't care about that anymore because it's too it will consume me i'm too competitive so it's more about i have suffered a lot of stuff and I'm on the other side and I'm doing well. I'm very happy. It's not about the money. It's not about the fame. I'm very happy with nothing, which used to terrify me. I don't the, when people would bring up like being sober, it's like, you know, I used to have a casino or I used to, and now I just have a Camry and I'm happy with my life. And I'm like, oh God, please don't that be, that'd be me. I don't want to be happy with a Camry. I hate that car. You know, I want a Lamborghini. Now it's more like, can I help people get sober? Can I help people with

sex addiction can I help people with their trauma because the thing I have is how bad it got I can tell a story about how bad it got and that I'm on the other side of it and usually because to me that's how I got sober somebody told me a story where I was like oh my God that's terrible yeah I've never how could you survive that right and they are talking to me as a full grown adult the caring man who is on the other side of it I'm like well if he can do it I can do it. So that's like my last contribution to life. You'd be a good therapist.

A little bit. I mean, maybe, but also maybe not. But yeah, I definitely know. Well, because you'd ultimately tell somebody to go kill the guy that molested them.

Yeah. Or you might do it yourself. I know what not to do. That's for sure. Right. Because I've definitely done the wrong thing. The biggest thing to me is I just hurt the people that I care about because of my addictions and my,

addictive personality where I just decided I don't think about you I think about what I need to get to keep running and that because I'm like I do have a kind heart and when I realize the burns you seem to have real intimacy like I remember your past girlfriend who worked with you on on your radio show what was your name again Katie Katie was great and you and Katie had this working relationship that was very intimate and very supportive and there's that side of you so you're saying you have that that is your base. And I heard her. Yeah. Like incredibly. You did. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

And I'll never forgive myself for that. I mean, I have, but it's a thing that I know I did, and it's never going to go away. Yeah. And I need it. I keep it because it reminds me. Have you made amends? Yep. I made amends to everybody.

Yeah. I'm good friends with my kids' mother now. She hated me for like a decade. Wow. Okay. Going to Thanksgiving with her. Never been to Thanksgiving with her. That's it with your kid?

Yeah. What's your son's name? Tiger. Tiger? Yeah. Tiger Lee Ellis and Devin as well. She's 20. Oh, I don't know yet too.

Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, so they've never been happier with me. Same mom, the two kids. Yeah. So the four of you will have Thanksgiving together. Yeah. Yeah, her husband, my girlfriend, and the kids all having Thanksgiving.

Congrats. It's the best. biggest accomplishment of the year for sure yeah yeah so things like that are a big deal and and uh you know now i know because that's that little pat like i get pulled in that's why the naked roast was such a uh when you're having an epiphany on a show where there's 2,000 people in the crowd and you're still expected to like have some wise cracks yeah i'm in shock at the table i'm like i'm not supposed to be i'm not this is a part of the things that are my triggers i'm not mad at anybody here but i'm not supposed to be here man i'm not about that anymore and then zach bless his heart started talking about

gay shit and i was like dude i'm gonna kill you yeah like don't bring that up i know it's a part of my life again like like like i mean i've hurt my ex-wives and it's true there's no time machine it's been done i've done it i've also done gay stuff i've done homosexual acts on video there's no coming back from that. But I'm not gay. I also used to have orgies. I used to sleep with like a lot of people at once. And I used to think that that was the only thing that was really what I was trying to do was be cool enough to have a lot of women sleep with me at the same time. Yeah. And now I have no interest in that at all. I feel sorry for anybody that wants to do it. Do you think the gay stuff came right? Because you look back at like the late 60s and the 70s and

like Iggy Pop and Jagger and Bowie and how they were. were experimenting with gay sex. Do you think it was just a logical extension of having played out heterosexual sex? I think to me it's like skateboarding. I want to go further and do things no one's ever done. Sex is a sport to me. And how can I do something that no one's ever done? How do I break barriers? You know, I started to hanging out with trans women because my girlfriend at the time was like, that's hot. They started introducing me to like some gay stuff. And gay. guys and lesbians like i know a lot of lesbians they know stuff that a lot of us basic bitches don't know in the bedroom so the trans the trans woman is the gateway to gay men not for me not

also i've been involved with stuff like that off and on my whole life where i'm this is gross but i'm attractive no that's not gross about no well you don't know what i'm about to say oh okay this could be gross people have always found me attractive from a young age to now where predators see me and know that they can get me as an adult yeah as a child to adulthood where you can pray on me I'll do it what do you think that is being being being uh molested as a child so many times from so many people that I want to connect with my trauma so I've been in therapy I'm trying to connect with my trauma i would let there was an asian man who was very mean to my father who my father went bankrupt

and this guy bought my dad's business and he was the only person i ever saw that told to my father in a way that was disrespectful that didn't get knocked out and i hated your father yeah so i used to get asian dudes to blow me all the time i didn't like them i would just let him blow me and then push him off you go to the next one is that a common thing with trauma is my therapist said you seek out abuse yeah because you go back it's like the only thing you know it feels like home right you know like and then that was the big one of the biggest ones was like i'm doing this stuff to get back to the trauma of being molested by somebody and when i realized that i was like oh i will never do that again right but then when you're asleep you know all my friends at one

point were all in porn all sex addicts in my opinion so every night after work there were people in my house talking about it or doing it in front of me a lot of naked boobies everyone's getting blowjob thing constant so that was just like what i was about was just doing that all the time was there a bottoming out moment yeah what was that oh man so there's two i'm filming stuff on only fans uh i'm getting paid more money if i do stuff with guys. So I start meeting guys that are in the scene. I got two people that I know they're a couple.

And they're like, come over and film stuff. A guy and a girl. No, two guys. Yeah. They're a gay couple. Man, whatever. Maybe somebody can learn from this. We want to dress as police because that does big numbers.

I'm like, all right, you know, sounds awesome. I go over there. They call me on my way. there and they go, hey, we can't find the cop uniforms, but we have two other guys that want to shoot with us. So that does a lot of numbers, guys, a bunch of guys. And I'm like, yeah, okay, cool. I get there, there's a Russian guy who's filming two black guys and these two white guys, and they're all doing drugs. And this is when I'm doing cratim and smoking weed, but I definitely will not do hard drugs. That's been a thing for a long time. And they're like, do you want

someone i was like absolutely not and also is it possible for you guys to kind of do that afterwards like do you have to do that right now they're like oh we're like we're not doing that much and i'm like okay my trauma lets me accept these things like now i'd be like bye right you know but then i was just like well i don't want to i don't want to ruin it for anybody so i go along with it and then uh this guy's blowing me and he's doing pappers and these guys are all getting blown the cameras on we're filming the guy who's blowing me bites me and i'm like and i'm like i don't want to break the scene and i'm like hey and i move away he is having a seizure oh my god because he's a guy that has seizures that doesn't your dick is so big dude no just leave that go ahead sorry sorry

go ahead he has a he i pull out and he drops on his face on the ground and has a seizure and i'm like This guy's dying. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, and I'm freaked out, right? And I'm sitting there and he wakes up. His boyfriend's like, hey, you're okay? The guy, as he wakes up, he starts jerking himself off. Within seconds of being out of a seizure, his hands on his penis.

And I'm sitting next to him on a chair going, these people are fucking tweet, dude. And he's like, no, I'm good. I'm good to go again. And his boyfriend goes, no, I think you should sit down. I think you should actually go in bed and kind of rest. Yeah, a little concussion protocol. He goes, I'm going to take this guy in the room. You guys, I don't want to ruin the scene.

Just keep going. Don't worry about us. And I'm like, what? And the black guy goes, so, you know, I'm going to suck your dick. And I'm like, yeah, okay. So now I'm like back in it. And this guy's doing stuff to me that I'm not usually a cast. I'm also like, I was versatile because I was like,

what is but sex? People are telling me you can orgasm without touch your dick. That seems like a thing that I need to know. I want to, that's like another level.

You're talking about receiving it. Yeah. It's another level. Yeah. You know, so I figured that out. I could do it. It's pretty good.

But I have no interest in doing it anymore. Yeah. I don't know what happened. God did it, I think. Right. But that time it's happening and I'm feeling dark about it.

I don't want to be here. Somebody's doing something to me where usually I'd be like, I'll probably beat you up for this. And you're kind of doing, it in a way where you're making me the girl and I'm getting dark about it but I don't want to break the scene

so I do it, it's over, I leave and I'm like I'll never do that again. I think I'm out. Yeah. Two days later, another girl that I shoot with is like, hey, do you want to do a scene with this other girl double anal with the girl? And I'm like, well yeah, like that's more my

style. I've always been a lot more straight than I am gay. Yeah. It's just like more of like whatever you've got I'll do it. Right. Because it's like another thing that it gets me to come on people. I get to run. I get to the hotel room before my friend. By the way, I got a friend who's a casting agent on The View.

Have you thought about this story? Yeah, no, I'm sure. I don't even think you were going to play this. No, no, no, this is the end. We were off the... Yeah, I will never be on the View. I know, I will never be on... We were off the algorithm

in the first 30 seconds when we said tons. No, this... I know, it shouldn't be anywhere. I'm trying to tell my story. All right, so you're doing double anal with these two girls. Yeah, but I show up early. This is definitely not going to get used. Okay.

This is the grossest thing that is. I never filmed another thing before I got sober, still using Kratum and Smoking Wee, but I never shut another thing from this particular situation. Yeah. So I go there, my friend's up there, the girl's there. She's pretty hot, Jack covered in tattoos. She's drinking. I'm like, oh, God, whatever.

I try to like break the ice and talk to it. you know like hey so what are you about doing she i got divorced she's like oh yeah i got divorced too i'm like oh cool you know hey small world ha ha and she's like yeah he's trying to take me to court or jail and i'm like jail i'm like get to jail for divorce like how's that works well you know you're accusing me of like sleeping with the dog you know and i'm like what and i'm like you didn't do that did you and she's like well and i'm like And again, it's like now... Did she do it on our only fans, Paige?

Dude, I don't... She starts talking about the dog. She starts talking about how she lives on a farm and this other guy does ducks. Ducks! Yeah, and killing them from doing it. And I'm like, and I'm sitting on this couch and I'm like, don't want to be mean.

I don't want to say anything. And I go, well, you're not like that anymore, are you? And she's like, oh, I'm still crazy. I'm going to go to Germany and do something with a horse. and now I'm like I'm cold I'm so scared because I don't want to say anything I don't want to make her uncomfortable

because I'm still like not I haven't dealt with anything in my life dude I can't get her to I don't want to make her feel bad even though she should feel bad my friend finally comes and she can tell like my face is white I'm in fucking shock

she goes okay she's here takes her clothes of and goes let's go And I go, yeah, just real quick, before we start, can you just tell her, like that little bit of that story that you were telling me? And she goes, about the dog. And I go, mm-hmm. Yeah. And she tells my friend and my friend who has been in this game for a long time goes, oh, Jason and I are going to need to have a talk for a second before we do this. And she goes, oh, fine, I'll just go down to the bar.

I'll be back in a minute. Like, no big deal. It doesn't catch on at all. Right. And my friend goes, we are fucking out of here. You can catch some interspecies gonorrhea. And I go, thank God, I didn't know what to do. And she was like, oh, yeah.

If this ever happens, I'm like, does it happen? Yeah. Sometimes and I'm like, I can't be with you people. I know. Here you are. You think you're getting together for just some wholesome double anal. And then you find out. Why do you always have to make it where it's so obvious that I am so tweaked and that I don't.

catch on until it is way too late. I mean, take a look at me. It's pretty obvious that I caught on a little too late. A little late. Cats out of the bag. God, there's a wrong, that was a bad terminology. Oh, my God. Well, thank you for being so honest and open about it.

But that was the end of that. And that's why I start. And then I was like, you know what? I'm going to get out of that. I'm going to get off Kratum. Worst thing I've ever, the hardest thing of ever. Dude, Cratum, they wanted to advertise in my podcast. I did one read for them.

and I got DMs from about 30 people going my cousin got hooked and ended up committing suicide this is opiates people can die from it this is serious stuff and people are doing it on their podcast look I don't want to look you can people die from alcohol right I'm not saying don't drink people get mad at me for saying it's bad yeah because I got on the other end of it and great like if you want to do it great like it's a great after workout so's oxies

whatever you want to do do it I'm just telling you as a person that had to get off it I was in four days of hell I almost went I almost got an ambulance because I started having a seizure from getting off this stuff that you can get at a liquor store so I'm against it I'm against taking any of it

but I know that that's you know you go one way then you go dramatically the other way look if you want to have a beer great I just I just think the difference is people know alcohol can ruin your life yes I don't think people know the dangers of Cratum I know it's not Cratum

it's H7 or H0 or whatever it's called I'm like shut the fuck up they're making them concentrated if you do just the cratim you can get addicted to it and it can ruin your life the divorce thing to me happened because of it

because she was like I want a divorce and I was like good we've had arguments before where we would have patched it up but I couldn't be bothered anymore I was like just go whatever I got to do to get you off my back so that I can smoke more wheat

and do cratim so as far as addiction goes because you've been addicted to alcohol, drugs, sex, probably not gambling. Well, and also, I think the danger of sports, I think you've been addicted to that. And so, explain to me because I had it with alcohol, and I knew that, I knew I had a problem. My father was an alcoholic. He died at 53, my grandparents, aunts and uncles, it's just thick in the family. So I knew I was predisposed. I started to drink when I was like 13, drank a lot all those years. So I quit when I was like 24, but I struggle to quit. And when you described briefly before, knowing that it's bad and suddenly a switch goes and caring about the person you're with becomes less important than connecting to this addiction. Yeah, because you can't, you think about it for a second, but then the pain of the sobriety kicking in

becomes so big and so scary that you let me just run for a little bit and then I'll come back and worry about that again. Right. But once you go back in, that's gone. It's too late. Because once I got sober, I regretted it. I wanted her back. Yeah.

And she was like, you're so far gone. And it's, like, I will never treat, you know, I can never look at you the same way. Right. It's over. So now do you feel like being sober feeds itself? Like, the longer you do it, the more you feel, instead of it being a bad place, being a place that gives you energy? Oh, definitely. There's a, I have a life now where I remember I was like, if I can get sober and just be like a nice guy that doesn't like have temper tantrums and like hurt the people that I care.

about i'm not saying physical i'm saying like emotionally affect anybody that i love and get back on top that was my other thing that was like now that is that is like off to the side it used to be a big deal for me to get back to like serious i had a million dollars a year i was like i need to get back on top because if i have money and people know me they'll respect me again like you love me and like getting sober and doing the work realizing nobody loves you dude because you're good at something or you've got money that's not really really love. Right. Like your own, your family, this little unit of friends and family is all that matters in life. None of that other stuff matters. So that one is this huge epiphany. But I have a life now

and I'm nowhere near out of it. Dude, I'm moving to Utah because I can't afford to live here. Like we're making big moves right now and they're not glamorous at all. Right. I've never been happier with nothing. Like, I know how lucky I am and what I brag about now is my relationship. relationship with my children has never been better my relationship with my with their mother has never been better i have a girlfriend that is such a solid good soul person yeah and i'm just so grateful that i get to wake up and i don't have to go to hospital i'm not sick and i have like creative jobs well also i feel like you were always in danger of feeding that part of yourself that you were getting acceptance for like having to be the crazy guy because that that's

That's what people are tuning in for. Yeah. And that dynamic is not in your life now. Losing it was heartbreaking. Yeah. Like having to like put him out was I'm all alone. That's what I would say. I'm all alone now.

Yeah. And I'm like, dude, you were alone the whole time. Like people, you've never been connected to anyone. Uh-huh. You know? And now I'm nowhere near alone. also looking back I was never alone back then but I was shut off to the things that really cared about me

right and it was like a you know like I said these pains of realizing that way too late in life are the things that help me stay on track yeah because I will never hurt a person like that ever again because it's it's right here you know but is there a line that you ride as doing stand-up now and you're still doing you know things like Skank Fest where, I mean, they talk about your, what is it, the face that you put out to people

is your, whatever it is, that your identity as the crazy guy, which is stand up, you are talking about this stuff, and there is a certain amount of titillation that people are going to get from it. And you protecting that from taking over the part of you that's, that's sober and having connected relationships with people. That's been a, that's been a bit of a struggle. You're straddling that. Yeah, because at first I was like, do I need to even talk about it anymore? Because that's not who I am.

And when I do talk about it, it brings people back to thinking that that's the way I am. But to me, it's really about helping somebody. Yeah. So if I have to talk about stuff that is embarrassing or people find me to be disgusting, well that if you don't like me that's okay you know i can live with that but if it helps one person because they can relate to it and it gets them out and gets them free yeah i'm at then you can you can take everything for me also i think that you when you talk about the numbers of social media like you may have whatever number of followers or your podcasts of a certain amount of

listeners but i think they're very committed people and i think it is a lot closer to love than a lot of people's followers is because you've been so forthright and vulnerable if you're still there you probably do like me right right and i think those are the people that when you go to seattle those motherfuckers are coming to your show yeah yeah i think i i definitely when i because i do meet and greets after every show and a lot of the audience is in the line you know it's not like 10 people after 150 it's like it's like a hundred people are in the i'm there all night right everybody and and nine times out of ten it's a heartfelt conversation about how I helped them in some kind of way and those are the things where I'm like you're on the right path dude like

you're selling out they're like does everybody care no but like the people that come most people come they're like man I had no idea you were funny yeah I'm like why you here no that's the battle when you're a podcaster you know I've talked to social media people about this is you really have to educate people that you're a comedian because they don't come out if you're a podcaster they're not coming to see that's like going well I'm a famous writer

you want to come see me do gymnastics on Saturday it's like no people come that are like I just watch you skate I didn't know you're coming like where's Tony Hawk I'm like what? Yeah yeah I got a joke about Tony Hulk but he ain't coming trust me or fight people or I'm like hey I'm not hitting anybody

yeah ha ha that's all I got Is there a way to combine fighting with comedy? Well, it's Alice Mania. Right. At Fandual Casino, you get even more ways to play. Dive into new and exciting games. And all of your favorite casino classics,

like slots, table games, and arcade games. Get more on Fandual Casino. Download the app today. Please play responsibly 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. If you have questions or concerned about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1866-531. 2,600 to speak to an advisor free of charge.

Comedic fighting. I want to do it again on a smaller scale because I have these ideas. Tell people what Ellis Mania is. Alice Mania is comedy boxing. You know, like I gave people a chance. When I first started fighting, I was old. I was like 38. But when I started training and realized being in a training camp

knowing you're agreeing to fight a guy on this particular date and nobody can help you. You're in a cage with one guy. He does not like you. Scary. and it changed my life forever. Yeah. The training that I did for that first pro fight

because you can't cut corners. Right. There's no, like, people are like, I'm going to lose 10 pounds, and then they do it, they put it back on, or they get to 7 and they quit. Like, if you have a fight

where you have to make weight and you have to fight this guy, and if you don't do good, he's going to hurt you. Right. You know, and it's this fear that dry, I remember jogging in the morning and jogging past the place

and it was like 5 a.m. and there were people smoking out the front. And I remember, because you get in this mindset where you're like, you start to become a killer. You've got to be ready to kill. Like when the bell goes, you can't be like, hey, man, good luck. Like, you've got to kill.

Yeah. So the mind is changing where I'm becoming this animal. I'm running, listening to metal. You know what I mean? And it's like, I don't care if I'm tired. I don't care if I'm hurt. I keep running. And I see a guy eating a burger, smoking a cigarette.

I'm like, you have no idea what it's like to be a real man. okay over the top but it does give you this thing where you have a confidence for the rest of your life where when people fight around me now I don't get anxious you know like I'm okay you know like even if you hit me you can go into both places I give people a chance to do a little version of that yeah because I don't think that's actually that sensible to be a professional fighter right but I think if you train for three months get in like good shape for you have a fight where I'm the ref if you get hit in a way where i think that's enough i'm not you're going to the after party you're not getting put to sleep i will not let that happen so i'll stop to fight you know you might

have a bit of a bruise on your face or something like that if even headgear bigger gloves usually you get beat because you're too tired right it's usually what happens and you're it's like a fight club thing where you're like man this changed my life and i'm like for the good you know like you know you've got it in you it's so nerve-racking to be in a fight with somebody but crowds around like get You're like, holy shit, it's like a real thing. Like, it's a big deal. So I will have fights like that where somebody trains and I watch both of them make sure they're compatible because I don't like when someone's way better than the other

person. I won't let it happen. So the comedy is more in the buildup to the fight. Well, no, those are the fights where I let somebody who really wants to fight have a fight. But the rest of the fights are not even real fights. Like I put blindfolds on you and electric dog colors. Oh, right, right, right. So everybody's just laughing.

And you, when you're blindfolded and getting electrocuted, you're not very dangerous. you're kind of just like panic and run around the ring and everybody laughs and maybe you get hit one time didn't you fight a guy whose arms were taped to his body no I thought Shane Carl and UFC Heavyweight Champion of the World with one arm tied because he obviously better than me in every facet but that was like a weird thing where I was like I could probably beat him because he's got one arm but I'm like can't beat a guy with one arm

and he's a legend I don't want to hurt a legend so I let him knock me out Which was, that's like one of those things where I'm like, the fans came, they bought tickets, you got to give him a show. And this show ends with you losing to a guy that is 300 pounds and might be on some illegal substances and hits like a truck. And he's not going to lose. It would look bad for him. He had every, he told me like a couple months later, he's like, my coach was like, you know this guy brought you here to knock you out and be on YouTube and convinced him that I was actually trying to beat him. And he was like, I was trying to kill you. Yeah.

And I was like, well, that's awesome now. You know, because I remember when I got in the ring, I went up to him like, hey. And he was like, and I'm like, why is he not smiling? Yeah. Why? It's fun. Right. He was like, no, I'm going to kill you.

All right. And I was like, wow. This, I really hope everybody has a good night. Yeah. Because this is what it's for, you know? All right. This is the time of the show. It's called Fastballs with fits.

Hell yeah. Let a rip, fits, dog. You got to have a segment on a show. By the way, when you're talking about, what? When you're talking about, like, letting guys feel that power as boxers, like you, I had a producer named Kevin Kraft who then produced your show.

Yeah. And he was this, I remember the first time I met him, I hired him off of Craigslist, I think. And so we met in a Starbucks, and I walked in and he had the Wall Street Journal out. And he was in the corner with these glasses. He weighs about 112 pounds. And I was like, no, this guy is way too nerdy.

But then I talked to him, and there was something so... How do you describe Kevin Kraft? It's just... No, no, no, no. I'm getting the names mixed up. No, Kevin Kraft was also my producer. He was also my producer who then produced your show. But then John... Who's John?

The skinny guy who ended up boxing. riding rides his bike a lot. Oh, John Matthews. John Matthews, who you can see reading the Wall Street Journal and a Starbucks. Yeah, I saved his life. You turned his life friend. He ended up buying a motorcycle, training and boxing. He's at my gym still.

It's amazing. The reason I saved him is because he told me, basically, in one day, the only thing that he has at his food is the nuts at the pub on the table. And he was living with a girlfriend who was drinking, smoking. Girlfriend was taking advantage of him. He was paying all the rent and she was verbally abusive to him.

Yeah, because he needed to become a human being. You did it now. He was a shell of a human. And then you want to. That's the thing about Ellis Mania. The fight thing that can make you, he's not the only one. I've got people now that like they train,

they take care of themselves. They are men that feel accomplished and they got it from this wacky comedy fight thing that I had once me. Right, right, right. And they'll still thank me. Like, those are the, those are the things that are, you know, I mean, in the end, when it's over, like, I gave somebody this confidence that you can't ever take from them. It's never going to go away.

Right. And then one of your producers choked me out during your show. I think it was Katie. Yeah. Yeah, Katie choked me out during your show. Keith Chardine was watching. Yeah, that was. I lost consciousness.

Well, because she didn't do it right. She did an arm bar. No, she should have cradled me in here. And she did an arm bar. No, I was sore for two weeks. Yeah, because she held on too long. Yeah. I'd rather talk about dogs again.

That was so bad. All right, here we go. Have you ever been arrested? Yeah. What happened? Go to DUI when I was 17 in America. I did a little burnout in the van. I was going to party.

And I wasn't that intoxicated. I was going to get a lighter because nobody else wanted to get it. and they pulled me over in the 7-Eleven and he came in. He's like, you've been drinking and I was from Australia new. And I was like, well, yeah, it's a couple, no big deal. Because in Australia, you can say that and you don't go to jail. He's like, do the breathalized, no, do the test. I'm an athlete, dude.

Stand up one foot, touch my nose. I'll do that on a bottle of vodka. Sure. So I pass it. You're touching your nose and you got a Coke spoon in your mouth. But then they gave me the breathalyzer and they test me over and they put me in jail for three days because I was a foreigner and they didn't, I didn't have the. the bail or whatever it was so yeah a guy took a poo while woke and it was like staring at me another guy kicked the wall tried to fire me when i got out i cried he did yeah scared me welcome to the

i also got arrested once in australia for stealing a girl's bike uh because i went to a party and the girl ditched us and the trains were closed because it was after two in the morning and we were walking home and it was like you know four hour walk and it started raining and there was a girl's bike with a little seat on the back pink with the frame like that yeah and my friend stole it and I was on the back and he was pedaling in the rain and I was holding the back rack going backwards and a cop with the dibby van came up behind us and he can't even see it yet he's pedaling and they're just looking at me and I'm like oh we're we're fucked yeah and then he's like pull over and then he goes nice bike whose bike is it

And he goes, it's my sisters. And I go, we stole it. Good wing man. So we went to jail for that. And then another time I was dragging a guy, drag race. We were on acid. And we were at the light. And there was a medium on the side.

And we didn't know that there was a cop behind us because we were wasted. And then my buddy takes off in his car. So I go over the medium to race him. Yeah. And then as I'm coming around, my friend is ass on the side of the door, half out of the car, like, woo! And a cop car with lights, all of a sudden comes in between us. And I'm like, where the fuck did he come from? My friend pulls into the gas station, starts pumping gas.

Nice. So I pull him behind him and start pumping gas. He comes over and he's like, you guys having a good time? We're like, yeah, is there a problem? and he's like, are you fucking kidding me? And we're like, what? And we're like, did you, we just, what you just did right there was incredibly illegal. Have you been drinking?

And in Australia, he'd be like, yeah, a couple. And he's like, do the breathalyzer thing. And my buddy goes, he gets the breathalyzer and he goes, he gets a lighter out of his pocket. And he goes, where's the shot he mate? And it looks at me and we both start laughing. And I went to jail for that. And I was on acid in jail. That's amazing.

but apart from that not okay there were two types of people in the world is it go oh uh cunts and lovers love it um have you ever not finished a set on stage fuck no i knew you'd say that you don't you wouldn't bail you wouldn't bail no way yeah especially now if it gets dark i get i get happy yeah I'm like oh let's see how much worse I can make it

yeah you didn't like that word listen to this story yeah yeah yeah um who would you want to give your eulogy

um uh my son nice how old is he now 16 yeah that must be an interesting

relationship Why is that? Well, he's had to grow up learning acceptance of your wild ways and still loving you and also knowing that you're not a traditional father. Yeah. That must bring you closer in some ways. Yeah, we've had a lot of talks. Yeah.

A lot of stuff that he's been put through because of me. And I've had to make a lot of apologies and explained myself. You know, when he gets older, like there's more things that, you know, I don't need to put that on him you know like the things that happened to me in my childhood also having a podcast and all these other things where it's like on there it's out there you know he's seen it people have attacked him for things that i've done in the past so he's been bullied because of me so i've had to make a lot of apologies but also i think seeing like what it's like to be in the limelight of sorts and how people treat you whether you're cool or whether you're not cool like i've also

are always shown him that like that doesn't mean anything right you can tell because i'm just dad right these people that think i'm something special it's not and it's the same with the reverse of it people think i'm an asshole it doesn't mean anything yeah people don't mean anything all the matters is us right right we love each other yep and i've always been very you know i know i'm a manly man or whatever but like i tell him i love him all the time and he says the same thing there's no weird tough guy thing he boxes with me he's a good fighter nice nice nice He snowboards, like he's a good man. They're both good kids.

And that is a lot to do with their mother, which is another reason why I'm so happy that we're cool again because I owe her. Yeah. You know? Yeah. There was times there where I wasn't doing my part, you know, as much. It wasn't malicious, but the fact remains is I should have been operating differently.

Well, and that's the other thing they're going to learn is about addictions. You know, what an addiction can do to a relationship. He felt it. it and you're going to help them understand it. But also, you know, I think about, I'm friends with George Carlin's daughter and Frank Zappa's daughter. And, I mean, they grew up in chaos. Right.

And that was at a time where chaos didn't exist for kids at that public level. Yeah. And Frank Zappa's daughter is, she's amazing and she's well adjusted. She's very loving and peaceful and, you know. That's how I feel about my kids. My kids saw their mother operate on a. very responsible, reliable level, and has always been professional, courteous, kind-hearted person.

And then they've seen me be in my worst spot. Well, not my worst spots. They weren't alive for my worst spots. Right. But telling the stories of them, it's like they happened the other day. Yeah. Right. But to be where I am now, I'm just so grateful that I got to this level where they can, they

see it. I don't ask, they say it. They're like, Dad, you know, like, what you are right now, like, the road rage, you're like, you don't have road rage. You're right. That's crazy to me. Yeah. Like, I remember there was a time that, like, she told a story to one of her friends says,

my dad has the worst road rage. And my daughter was like, you have no idea. Yeah, yeah. Because there was a time there with my father. She's like, and you don't have it at all now. Right. And I was like, you're saying that. I'm not asking for it.

Right. You're telling me. Like, you fix yourself, dad? Yeah, they see that there's a journey that, that, that, you know, you know, whatever state you're in in your life, if you take it head on, you can work through it. Right. And it can be done. Also, I do have this one thing where it's like I have accomplished a lot in my life.

And they're like, well, how do you do that? I'm like, you never quit. Right. No matter how tough it gets. And that's the thing that I have that the rest of their family doesn't have. Right. Like I've reached the highest level. And I'm like, there's only one way you get there.

Yeah. And that's, you never stop. Right. Nobody will ever stop me from getting what I'm going to get. I'm looking forward to seeing your stand-up career continue because you're doing great. And with that attitude, yeah, I think it's going to be good. Last question.

What is the last time you deeply apologized? Wow. I mean, I've made some. You know, when I got to that step, I called everybody. But I think the last one was, yeah, it was Katie. Yeah. Yeah. Because I wasn't, you know, you're not supposed to make an amends if you think it's going to make it worse.

Right. And I was worried that, like, her even just speaking to me was going to trigger her to be angry. Right. And I didn't want to do that. Also worried about how I would feel when she told me to go fuck myself. Which she did or did not? did not no no it was she completely accepted it she still loves me we're always going to love each other there's just a thing where you we went too far and then where i am now like there's

this a delusion where i think sometimes that it would work out now right and i'm like you're not no offense to her she's a great person but what she is in her life that's not me man like i don't i don't want to i have no problem if you drink and your sex life is all those things that's cool but I'm I'm like thinking about like I want to like hang out with horses I don't want to I don't care about the smoke yeah I want to hang out with animals and my girlfriend right I want to be a hunter yeah I don't want to I want to live off the land and wheel like a rabbit loincloth right and like shoot a bow off a horse like that's where you want to hang out with animals not women that have sex with animals I think that's this distinction that's the fine line that is very true yes well played yes thanks for bringing that back full circle well that's what this podcast does i ask really intense complex questions yeah you told me before the show that we weren't going to talk about sex or politics and you thought i was serious i was like no cursing no sex and you were like uh okay no i said really did you think i was serious i showed my girlfriend and she goes he's joking and i'm like oh yeah it's fitzog i forgot i was in a hurry man

I think we had a lot of funny shit. We had some deep shit. I always love having you on. You're one of my favorite guests. I love you, dude. I always have had the utmost respect for you. Thanks, man. I always will.

Come check out his stand-up comedy. He'll be in San Clemente at the Pints. Oh, yeah. Okay, coming up, the comedy bar in Chicago on December 18th and 19th. Comedy Bar in Detroit, December 20th. Looney bin in Tulsa, January 28th, and 29th. Also coming to Fort Worth, Calgary, Winniper. Peg Charlotte, go to the Jason Ellis with 2Ls.com, get some tickets, and be a part of the journey.

Thanks, too. Thanks, Jason.