Fitzdog Radio - Jeremiah Watkins - Episode 1095

Episode Date: April 30, 2025

From Kill Tony, Roast Battle and Stand-Up on The Spot, Fitzdog Radio welcomes back Jeremiah WatkinsFollow Jeremiah Watkins on Instagram @jeremiahstandupWatch my special "You Know Me" on YouTube! http://bit.ly/FitzYouKnowMeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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there's still world-class dining and distilleries, shops and spas, museums, and more. Find your new golf MO in Missouri. Start planning your golf getaway at VisitMo.com. Welcome to Fitts Dog Radio. It's another... I record these on Monday, they come out on Wednesday. I don't know what's going on in your life right now, but I've been on Twitter a little bit today, which I'm not... I don't go on it a lot, to be honest. I feel like I've outgrown it, but there was a discussion today about whether or not a hundred men could take on a gorilla, which captivated

my attention way more than it should have. It should have been a glancing thought exercise for just a few seconds and it turned into maybe an hour, maybe an hour of debating it online. And I don't know in the end end I think what it comes down to is all right a gorilla take a take a silverback gorilla those big fast motherfuckers that you see in the zoo and you're so glad that there's a giant plexiglass wall between you or whatever and a hundred guys and you think all right well maybe if it was the right a hundred guys like okay if you got Navy SEALs that are first of all gonna work in unison and are gonna have a strategy and are going to be willing

to get injured if not killed I mean there's a very good chance that the first two guys in are cannon fodder, they're guerrilla fodder. You will get ripped apart. Can you as a soldier absorb? Now normally they would because they're fighting for liberty. They're fighting for democracy. But in this case, you're fighting over an internet dare. So I guess you're not gonna get Navy SEALs. So you're gonna have to ratchet it down to the next level down and the next level down

and many, many levels down. I think it would really just be 100 internet trolls. Shitty people, people that don't care that the silverback gorilla is an endangered species and are willing to kill one, to settle a bet. Is it a bet or is it just a, it's just a question? So I don't know. Is it a bet or is it just a, it's just a question? So I don't know. So here's some of the research that I did.

Silverback gorillas are about 400 pounds. They're about 10 times stronger than a human. They can bend iron bars. They have longer arms. They can run like 25 miles an hour. They can fucking climb, which we can't. They've got super thick skin. They got really hard muscles. So you're not, you're not going to hurt them. The only thing you're going to try to do is wear them down by getting as many guys or women, maybe women want to do this,

I don't want to gender shame. Get as many on each limb as you can, I would guess. But, you know, they we don't we scatter. I think humans might run in together, but when they see the first guy's head get literally ripped off, it would become very unorganized. It would be easy pickings. Cause then the gorilla can take people on two or three at a time,

which is no problem at all. Is it a wide open plane that might favor the humans because then they can surround, they can do what the Cro-Magnon man used to do with with elk, but if you're in a wooded area where the gorilla can jump up into a tree etc. that's to his advantage. That's to his advantage. What else? Yeah, so I think it'd just be about weighing the gorilla down and hopefully not killing him.

Let's just make him tap out. You would need to grab and hold. And I just don't know. Like I was thinking about, what about other things? Like I would think that a bear might be even more ferocious than a gorilla. Cause a gorilla can grab you and definitely hit you but a bear can fucking destroy you with his claws and his mouth and if you get a big one I

don't know what are the biggest ones grizzlies if you get a grizzly I mean you can't even go eye to eye with that guy the gorilla you're going eye to eye with. The bear has, oh my god, he's got layers of fat. Or what about a hippo? Hippos kill more humans than I don't, I shouldn't say any animal because we always go like, a mosquito. Well, I don't know, is a mosquito an animal? Is a mosquito an animal? But I think as far as actual animals, I think hippos kill more people. They are crazy. So hippo might be a better one,

or what if you flip it, what if you flip it and you make a one human versus a hundred, What if you flip it and you make a one human versus maybe 100 hungry rats, like starved rats, in like a squared off ring? Who would win that? I think the rats would, to be perfectly honest. I think they would, they know what to go.

They go for your asshole and your eyes. And once you don't have an asshole or eyes, you can't fight. What about one human baby versus a thousand baby chicks? human baby versus a thousand baby chicks. Cause the baby, not a newborn, but like say a six month old, they have very strong hands. I've seen videos where they can hang off of bars, like they can hold their body weight.

And I think they might crush maybe a hundred, a hundred chicks. Or what about one Israeli soldier versus 50 pro-Palestinian sorority girls. But they've each drank like six white claws Which I don't know if that helps them or hurts them I think for some of them it's for some of them. It's spinach Popeye spinach and for some of them they get groggy and maybe not so tough

So let's say that or what about what about one? Pope one human pope versus a thousand cancer cells who wins that oh i guess we i guess we just saw who wins that and the and the pope had god behind him here's the thing the pope fought cancer was a cancer... I don't even know how the Pope died. I'm assuming it was cancer. He was old. Probably had cancer, right? Which means that God had cancer kill his Pope, because God made cancer, right? Anyway, enough, enough. I have a great guest today who's gonna be on in a minute. I was jamming out to Courtney Barnett all day. Do you know her music? Oh, she's fantastic. That's what I like having kids. They turn me on to some music I wouldn't have heard before.

to some music I wouldn't have heard before. Courtney Barnett, very talented. And then I want to talk about I had a good time with my kids this weekend. I hung out. We had brunch. We've had brunch at our house a couple times in the last few weeks. We do a Sunday brunch. It's something that when we first moved to LA 25 years ago, used to have brunch every Sunday and all my friends would come over. It was like all my New York, everybody I knew from New York moved to LA at the same time. So it was Mike Gibbons and and Mary Fitzgerald and Tom O'Neill and then Zach Galifianakis and Nick Swartzen and Zoe Friedman, and it was comedians and other people. And we used to hang out all day at my house.

And for some reason we just, we had kids and we just stopped doing it. So I kind of started it again. And I realized like my neighbors, it's just my neighbors come over. And I've got a very close group of friends in the neighborhood. And we've, we've grown I

can I say we've grown old we kind of have I'm 59 I've grown old do you grow old or do you fade old do you do you degenerate old? Growing sounds like it's going in a positive direction. So we've gotten old together and we've raised kids together and they all come over and all different kinds of people. A lot of my writers, many of my friends are writers. They write for the LA Times. They write for their screenplays. They write books,

they write on sitcoms, a lot of writers, an architect was here, an actor, couple actors, a musician. And what's crazy is we've all lived in this same little, like three block radius. It's like, it's probably about 10 couples that that we're very close to you know we play poker a lot. We just went to somebody else's house for dinner this past week and then we just do stuff. And I think it's really good for you. You know like I was thinking about it. Of the 10 couples nobody's gotten divorced

and everybody raised kids everybody's kids look I'm not saying they're all rocket scientists, but none of them are like fucked up on drugs. And they've pretty much all moved out at this point, you know, once they've gotten to a certain age at a reasonable age, they've moved out. I think community is so important. People talk about marriage or, you know, but like a community of friends is is is every it's not everything but it's it's a big it's a big part of what makes life complete for me anyway. I don't know. But whatever. Alright, so I have more funny stuff to say,

but I feel like I just want to get to the guest today. We have my friend, Frank Jackson, who's a buddy of mine. I've known this kid since I was probably 12 years old, 11. And we grew up together. We're still good friends. He lives in Atlanta now he has launched a line of a line of coffee I guess a line of coffee it's called sleepy hollow coffee roasters because that was that's what North Tarry town is

now called sleepy hollow and that's the name of the high school in town so he's got this these amazing car he He sent me home with a whole bunch of them and they're all different. They all really rich and I mean he walked me through all the steps of roasting and what he does. It's incredible coffee. There's one called Ichabod because Ichabod Crane who's the legend of Sleepy Hollow, Washington Irving. Anyway, who's the legend of Sleepy Hollow, Washington Irving. Anyway, the Ichabod one I think is my favorite. It's got like, it's like an espresso.

It's got, it's like sweet and dark chocolatey tasting and I like my coffee to have a little chocolate to it. That's a guilty pleasure. But this is just really good quality stuff. I really want you guys to check it out. He's just launching this. He just launched the website. It's called Sleepy Hollow Coffee Roasters.com.

And he's putting out a special promotion for my listeners. Get 50% off your first entire order and if it's over 50 bucks it ships for free use promo code fits dog f i t z d o g i don't profit from this but this guy is he's a quality dude who has made a great product that i think you'll really enjoy and i hope you'll check it out and see what you think you can if you do like it you can sign up for a membership and again it's sleepyholocoffee roasters.com write to me at fitzdogradio at gmail.com let me know what you think of it we can read the reviews online good and bad sorry frank I'll read the bad too. I don't think there will be any but I'm gonna be straightforward on this it's uh

Yeah, I think there's it. There's a mocha Java one that I really liked. It's kind of a little nutty thing to it I Think it's called old Dutch old Dutch. Yeah So try it. Here's the two I'd recommend old Dutch and Ichabod. Those are the two I really like try here's the two I'd recommend Old Dutch and Ichabod those are the two I really like. He's gonna send me some more so I can review the others. Anyway also what else I want to give a shout out I'll do that later. My tour dates I'm gonna be in Huntington California this this Sunday night May 4th at the Mamba Escondido Grand Comedy Club May 9th and 10th I'll be 4th at the Mamba. Escondido Grand Comedy Club, May 9th and 10th.

I'll be in Cincinnati at the Commonwealth something, May 16th and 17th. It's actually in Dayton, Kentucky. Tampa SideSplitters June 5th through the 7th. Naples, Florida, off the hook June 8th. Then I'll be in Torrance, Austin, Point Pleasant, New Jersey, La Jolla, Vegas, Chicago, New Orleans.

Go to FitzDog.com, get some tickets, come out and support some live comedy. Don't forget also the merchandise. If you go to FitzDog.com, the Sunday Papers, hats and mugs, tote bags, all kinds of stuff. For the fifth anniversary, Pick one up, show it off to your friends. Alright so let's get to it. My guest... okay what do we got for my guest? Let's pull up his credits. I want to make sure I get them all right. Jeremiah Watkins. Jeremiah is a guy that I've known he kind of started out doing the kill Tony. Well, no, I think first it was the roast battle and he was there was

like this create the wave and the roast battle that he did this physical crazy comedy comes out of Chicago, I think Second City I know he did professional improv. And you can see it in his stand up. He's very loose and back and you can see it in his standup. He's very loose and back and forth with the crowd in a really good way and then he's been he was in the band on Kill Tony for a long time and he's since split off and started his own thing and I just did his podcast I think it's called Comedy on the Spot that's out this week that I just did with Jeff Ross and a couple other funny people. So check that out. But here is my conversation I had with him

just a couple weeks ago. Here is the great Jeremiah Watkins. Jeremiah, I gotta tell you right out of the gate. I mean, I always thought he was a stylish guy. You're tall, you're lean, you can wear almost anything. And you came in here today with this fedora. Yeah. I mean, where do you even buy something like that? you can wear almost anything. And you came in here today with this fedora. Yeah. I mean, where do you even buy something like that?

You know, there's a pawn shop down on Melrose that not many people know about. What did you pawn to get it? My car. No! Yeah, this is a really expensive hat. Whoa! Yeah.

I asked for, if I could get the guy's hat from Jurassic Park, the old guy. Right, right. And they said that they couldn't include the amber cane. Yeah. But just to exchange just for the car straight up and I was like you know this is a fair trade. Yeah but then you're in a position where you've got the hat it's worth tens of thousands of dollars. Now how do you get home? Because I mean, you can't take the bus. I'm Ubering in style. Yeah. Uber Blacks only with this hat. Right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And then, and do you talk about the hat with the driver? You don't want to draw any attention to it? Don't want to draw any attention. Yeah. No. Right, right. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's an honor to have you and the hat on the show. Thank you. This is my plus one that I was asking about. Oh, that's what you bet. It's the hat Oh, I say it takes up some real estate. Yeah, it's green right right right next to me. Yeah. Yeah

All right, actually term I got here with a green hat on and you can't tell I don't know if people can tell when they Look at this beautiful set that Paul Roman has designed and Amber has helped put together. This is green screen. It fooled me, obviously. I didn't think to not wear a green hat. Well, I should have told you not to wear a green hat. But how many people wear green hats? Very rarely. Right? It's a rare thing. Yeah, I'm trying to think off the top of my head. I guess some of the Oakland A's, is that a green team?

Yeah, green and yellow. Yeah, green and yellow, the Jets. Uh-huh, the Eagles sometimes. The Eagles sometimes. Yeah, I don't know. I like to wear green because I'm Irish and my eyes, you can't tell that my eyes are green because I have recessed kind of a chrome magnum brow, which so you can't you don't look at my eyes up close They're kind of beautiful. Wow, they're very nice, but nobody knows. They're like Shamrock Shake Green

They're Shamrock Shake Green and you can only get them for like three months of the year. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Maybe you like my wrap, maybe you like my shirt, but you're not sure. And then I bring in the closers when I get in close. I'm moist. Yeah. I just went moist. Yeah. The thing is with a guy, if he goes moist, he's done. Like if you're flirting and you go, I'm moist. Well.

Well, it already happened. Yeah. With a woman, it means she's getting ready. Right, right, we're done for're done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so don't pull those around me whenever we're shaking hands at the store, when you're bringing me up or I'm bringing you up. Don't give me one of these, I don't wanna start my segment.

Oh, right. That's embarrassing. I should do that to the other comics. Do it. That's a power move. That is a power move. They can't even do anything about it. They can't resist those eyes.

And then everybody's like, wow, nobody can follow Greg Fitzsimmons. Yeah, they get not funny and there's cum in their pants at the beginning of their set. Yeah, and they get lethargic. Yeah, they just wanna take a nap. I'm useless after an orgasm. I plan them judiciously.

I have a rule, and I say it out loud never jerk off on Monday Mmm, because Monday is the day you got to get shit going. You got to get your list out I think I own a Muhammad Ali poster with that saying on it. Really? Yeah Cassius Clay. Yeah, he said that I think damn. Yeah It has like I have another version where there's like a jet airplane with it on it. Uh-huh Never jerk off on Monday. Yeah. Right, right.

Yeah. You ever jerked off on a plane? Ooh, no. Like in the bathroom, no? No. But you're a little tall for that. Oh, I mean, I'm lucky just to make it to the bathroom. Yeah.

I'm all hunched and, you know. Yeah. You ever dropped a deuce on a plane? Oh yeah, of course, you have to sometimes, emergency. I can't imagine you, what are you, six foot three? Mm-hmm. Six three, trying to get emergency. I can't imagine you, what are you, six foot three? Mm-hmm. Six three trying to get a... I'm a praying mantis in there.

Yeah. Just legs up by my freaking, just trying to, my own homemade squatty potty in there. And you can't wipe because you get the little praying mantis hands. Yeah, just the little T-Rex hand. Yeah. I don't know how to get down there.

I just tear it up. It's a mess. So then once again, I'm moist on a flight. Well, you're always moist. The wrong kind. That's your new album. That's what they tell me, always moist. Always moist.

And looking with this hat, it makes sense. Oh my god. Oof. I can't, if I wore that hat with my eyes, I think the whole audience would get moist. I think it would, they'd have to shut the club down. Yep. Shut it down. Shut it down. Bring on Don Baris.

The show's over. People don't realize Don Baris comes on stage every night, right? Every night still. If you ever come out to Los Angeles, because there's comedy tours,

sex tourists go to Thailand, comedy tourists come to LA and they go to the store. Yeah, they really do. Because you got three stages and sometimes you'll see shows in two rooms that night and obviously the lineups are crazy. You're there at least three nights a week. And you know, Don Baris is this guy who, he does audience warm up for the Jimmy Kimmel

show for 15 years. He sleeps all day. He emerges from, you know, the earth, the crust of the earth at like 4 p.m. and he gets riled up and he comes in and he goes on last. Yeah. But he gets there nine o'clock and just just kinda watches, hangs out. Goes through the halls, does Instagram Lives. Yep. Yeah, he's always like streaming. Yep.

He's got sometimes, if it's Monday, he has his Ding Dong Show, which is if you haven't seen that, if you're a comedy fan, you gotta check it out. It's late on Monday nights, he has, the only way to describe it, it's a cast of misfit toys that he's found all over LA and he just does this bizarre show with them.

Are they homeless, some of them? I think some of them have been at some point. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe. They're the kind of people that, they're not homeless. They're just, they're home sporadic. They're in between homes yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah they're they're not homeless but it's not their

home when they're sleeping somewhere right yeah it's a favor yeah yeah a favor that's got about an extended yeah yeah yeah yeah I know a couple guys like that but yeah it's it's a it's a chaotic show that you gotta see and then he it's funny because like because he does warm up, I don't know what you make to do warm up, but I think it's actually pretty lucrative. I bet you he makes four or five grand a week. Hey, that's good for warm up, that's great.

It's great, and then he does his spots every night, so I don't know what you make. If he's in the, I don't know what they pay him. They probably give him 100 bucks a night. That's another 500 bucks a night. You think it's different than the other comics? I would imagine. I would imagine.

More like a hosting kind of a fee kind of a thing? I'm gonna call Emily right now and find out. Yeah. I bet you he gets, he's gotta get a little bit extra for that. If he's not, I think we can plead our case. For Don to get more money if he's taking the same. I mean, he should make a little bit. He's on stage longer than everybody else. Yes, and it's also the pressure of closing it out. Right. You know? Yeah.

Are you really calling her? I'm trying. It's so funny, like somebody young like you, if you were to try to call somebody on the phone, it would take you three seconds to pull it up. And I don't have her number in my phone. She books me every week at the club. I have it, but I can't find it. Oh yeah, yeah. Jesus. Do you think of me as an old guy?

No. No, good. No, I think of you as seasoned. Nice, I like that. You know what I mean? Yeah. You've been around. But no, I don't, because the only,

the guys who I think of as old guys are guys who, and this may sound weird, is guys who I don't riff with, if that makes sense? Right, right. If you're not in passing and in the mix, then they're kinda just doing their own thing. I respect that, but they're not in passing and in the mix, then they're just doing their own thing. I respect that, but they're not down to hanging in the hall or the back seats or whatever and cut it up.

That's why I consider old comics, where they're like, no, I'm done with that. Yeah, I'm locked in. I'm locked in. Yeah, they're just doing their set. They talk to their people, but they're kind of closed off. Sometimes they come in with a friend who's non-comic. And they're old too. Which is cancer. Yeah.

Never, never bring a non-comic, don't even bring a comic. Come alone to the fucking club. I know. Unless it's a special occasion, that's gotta be. It's my cousin from New Jersey, and he just, big smile, but inside you're going like, oh god, this guy's gonna be, he's gonna be the riff killer.

You're gonna all be riffing, and then he's gonna interject something that's- Ever been left with the cousin from New Jersey? Oh! And you're just standing there, and you're like, I don't even know what to do with this, why am I babysitting your cousin from New Jersey now? Right, right.

Yeah, Jeff Ross comes swinging in here with his cousin, and then he goes off to do a spot. And now I'm trying to talk about financial planning. I don't have any finances to plan. That's what I forget sometimes when I go back to Kansas City to visit family. I'll talk with family members, friends who I, like it's after a show, or I'm just home visiting. And then like after a couple minutes, I'm like, what do you wanna talk about? Cause I, you know, like I don't know what the,

I don't know where to take this. It's also tough when they know what you do, maybe they've listened to your podcast, they have like a lot more information on you than you do on them Yeah, and then they sort of Ask you questions Especially with somebody brand new like how when did you know you want to be committed? Oh

Those questions I've started to on podcasts when somebody asked me that I go we're not doing this. Yeah Yeah, you can literally ask me anything. I literally like, I'm a comic, I'm an improviser. You can do whatever you want with me, but let's not do this. How did, and when did you know? And like, and how did you get your start? I'm like, there's just enough online where you can just find them.

Yeah, are you on the circuit? And also like, if we're buddies, like figure it out. Yeah, right, right, right. Yeah. Are you on the circuit? That's what I always love, the circuit. Like, like we're black guys like, figure it out. Yeah, right, right, right. Yeah. Are you on the circuit? That's what I was left. The circuit like like we're black guys in the 1930s. Yeah. And you just do the chitlin.

So I have to hop from one. You just take it. You're hitchhiking from Memphis. Yeah. To, you know, Louisville. I heard they cover your bus ticket if you do that. Yeah. Oh, all right. Cool. You know what I found out is like those old those old guys. Where do they cover your bus ticket if you do that gig? Oh, all right, cool. You know what I found out is like those old guys

when the rooms were all run by the mafia. They were like Playboy clubs and like little jazz clubs and they bring in comedians. And you know they all wore those diamond pinky rings. Why? Because back then there was no credit cards and so if they got stiffed on a gig from a mob guy they used the ring to buy they did hock it like you do with your hat. Yeah. And then they would have enough money to

take the train back home again. So the hat is my diamond ring. That's it. That's pretty cool. We should get diamond rings, me and you. Matching pink and diamond rings? Yeah. Oh, and then when we pass off the mic to each other, we do one of these. We clink them. We clink them.

Yeah. Clink. Yeah, right. And then people will be like, what does that mean? We're like, don't worry about it. Hey, you don't ask questions. We're not gonna do that. Don't ask questions you wanna use us to.

Yeah. We should get every comic to wear pinky rings. And then people would be like, is this a weird cult? Like, what is this? Everybody has a diamond pinky ring? Right. It's got cyanide in it for the Friday Night Late Show

that doesn't go right. Just pop it open. Yeah, those old Borsch Belt comics, I got to know them because I was a member of the Friars Club in New York. Oh, that's awesome. Which was really cool. Jeff Ross was there a lot. And Suzy Essman from curb

Judy Gold Elon Gold, you know, you know And it was just a good hang you like, you know, we were all comics banging around the city at night We had our days free and we would go there club to be a part of it was great They had a pool table the two pool tables. He'd shoot pool. They had a card room upstairs I want to play pool with you sometime oh are you a player yeah really yeah okay I'd love that I'd love it you know the West Side doesn't have any pool other than bar tables there's no hall anymore there's one there's a

one the Brickyard Tavern and in in Hollywood has a couple tables that are pretty good they're decent tables yeah Yeah, full size and yeah. Yeah, there's nothing worse than going to a bar and people have their beers on the table and some chick is sitting on the table. Oh, I hate that. Just seeing that, like, you know, just out of respect for the equipment and stuff.

I'm just like, when somebody sits a beer on the felt, it drives me insane. Yeah, because you're from Kansas City. Yeah, you gotta respect the table. Kansas City is a pool town. That's like, everyone's got a pinky ring. Yeah, everyone's at least got a, a lot of people have tables in their basements.

Do they? Yeah. I grew up with a table in my basement. Full disclosure, just so you know what you're getting into. Okay. Did you have a table in your basement? Yeah. I grew up with a table in my basement. Just full disclosure, just so you know what you're getting into. Okay. Did you have a table in your basement? Yeah, I did. Oh, shit, it's on!

Uh-oh, it's going down. Oh, what's your game? Eight ball, nine ball, straight pull? I never got into nine ball too much. Nine ball's fun. But yeah. Nine ball's fun because it's like life. There's a time to be on offense and there's a time to be on defense.

Yeah, I think I would like it if I tried playing consistently, but it's, you know, there's a very, you have to be very strategic with the nine ball where I've like, I've ran most of them and then I get down to, you know, last ball or two and then games over. The guy grabs it on you. Yeah. Yeah. It's really about having a vision for the table and being able to set up your shots but I won a nine ball tournament at the Friars Club. Whoa. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. And I was brand new. I was only like I was like maybe 25 years old and the guy I played in the finals Was Paul servino from good fellas Paul servino. Yeah Paulie Paulie and

He definitely had a pinky ring. I'm sure he did he was He put it on the table at any point He said Fitz dog he used to call me Fitts Dogg. And he said, you know, he was very sweet. Like we won and then they started a team. There was a league in New York and it was like the different clubs would play each other. The Harvard Club, the Players Club, which was like an old Broadway equity club, but you know, fancy. And then you had the, there was one that was all union officers, the union club.

And the union club was like old Mayflower white people and the servants, this is so fucking weird, were not only all black, they were dark black and they wore white gloves. Weird. Yeah. So actually I don't know that they were black even because they had the gloves on. It could have been white guys and blackface. Sounds like a pretty cool club to be a part of.

Are they accepting members, Greg? Because I'm looking for a new home. I mean, it's funny because you see that and you go, this is wrong. And then you think, all right, that means we need less diversity? Right, right. Or diversity in the right places. I got to be selective with my diversity now? Right, right. We got to selective with my diversity. Yeah.

We gotta reverse diverse this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. White guys with black gloves. Have you ever worked a job where you were mostly with black people or Latino people other than yourself? Yeah, I've worked the car wash, I worked at a car wash in Kansas City for a while and it was a pretty good mix of everybody there

and then some of the restaurant jobs that I worked, it was a mixture of like, I mean, mostly Mexicans in the kitchen, like at this Italian restaurant that I worked at. And there was one guy named Arturo that we called Arturini the dish washing machine. Spoke no English, happiest guy you've ever met in your entire life. He was the fastest freaking.

Dude, those guys are amazing. They always make you feel like, holy shit shit if this guy can be happy how is it I'm working an hour a night and you know you're at that you're at the st. Louis improv and like you know fucking numbers are low on the Thursday night show whatever and then you see this dude whipping out glasses and smiling and laughing you know it's it's amazing it's a good reminder when you do gigs like that and then you go to somewhere like, you know,

Starbucks or something where somebody's clearly hating their life. Yeah. That's a good reminder, you're like, we have a pretty good. Right. We're chasing the dream. Hey, sometimes the dream, there's bumps along the way.

Sure. But I mean, come on. I know. Yeah. I know. I go back and forth. I think social media is the place where I get the least happy because on one hand there's the joy of seeing somebody doing well. Like Tony Hinchcliffe just put out a video about, did you see that video he just put out? He just posted. And I was like, good for him. Here's this guy celebrating

something that's helping other comics and I'm happy for his success. And then sometimes I see somebody who's playing a big theater and they're kind of being douchey about walking out with the fucking arms up and the crass standing oh, and he'd go like, eh, you know? Yeah. Not that I wanna be that guy. I just don't want you to be that guy sometimes. Sure.

I mean, my buddy, Stevie Weeby, have you ever met Bobby Lee's brother, Steve Lee? Oh yeah, yeah I did. So I did a podcast with him for a while and he always said, don't compare in despair, don't compare. Because you know, that classic comparison is the joy of thief, that quote that we've all heard many times. But like, yeah, that dude, social media, that's the easiest place to do it if you're gonna do it.

It's the only place I feel it. I never feel it in like, when I'm at the store, it's like, I don't resent anybody and I'm happy for everybody. In general, I'm happy for everybody. Yeah. And then, but then I get on social media and it's just one, especially when I like,

I just had a bad weekend and you're just watching one after the other. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah, shout out to Tony Hinchcliffe and the guys. Yeah. Streaming on Netflix now. Kill Tony. It's on Netflix now.

What do you mean streaming? You didn't hear about that? No. His Kill Tony's on Netflix. How often? It just releases a special. And they have a couple more that are in the works that are gonna be put out like in the next few months.

Oh, so they'll put one out every few months? I think that's how it goes. Really? But I'm just a guy in this hat, so you can't trust me 100%. Have you been on any of them that are going on Netflix? Not on the Netflix ones. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you've done a ton of Kill Tonys. Oh, I mean, I was the original, one of the original band leaders for the show. Yeah, did a couple hundred, like five years of the show. No shit. Yeah. Damn. Yeah, like five years of the show. No shit. Yeah. Damn.

Yeah. It's a phenomenon. It truly is, it's pretty cool. Yeah, it's kind of like how the Gong Show is so big, and that was before your time, but the Gong Show was probably in the 70s, and it did create a lot of stars that came off the show that were goofballs, but there wasn't the outlets for those people.

Like now you just got comedy clubs. If you get big on that show, they just plug you into. You can tour, do clubs and then theaters. Social media. Yeah. Back then it was just more like everybody knew the unknown comic or. Is that where he originally came from?

Was it Gong Show? Yeah. Really? I was curious, I need to do some research on that guy cause I literally see his headshot at every comedy club I go to. Really? Like in just the random clubs,

like you'll find the unknown comic like at Zany's at the store, just random spots like all over the country. Like I've seen the unknown comic, but I just didn't know what his backstory is. If people don't know who the unknown comic is, because maybe this is inside baseball, but there's a comic.

He's got on stage in a tacky suit, and he had a brown bag over his head, and he did very corny, goofy, animated comedy. And it was hilarious, it hilarious just such a funny idea because you know comedy was just kind of starting at that point like that style of comedy Sure, he was just he was kind of making fun of that that guy. Yeah It was very meta. I Mean early alt comedy sounds like a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I guess Andy Kaufman was probably doing it around then.

And a lot of the comics in the 80s also, you don't see people doing characters. Like in the 80s, you had Bobcat Goldfwait and Judy Tanuda and Emma Phillips and even Kinnison was obviously playing a character, you know, and now it's like yeah You get Joey Diaz, but then you meet Joey and you go. Oh, that's not a character, you know like I mean I think that's part of the attraction to Adam Ray's dr. Phil right, you know, right is like There's not a lot of people doing that thing out there where they're playing a character.

I mean, my friend Chelsea Lynn has a great character, trailer trash Tammy. She tours with that, like in character. Oh yeah, of course. She does stand up as Tammy. Right, right. But there's like a, Fahim does Lance Can't Stop Us at the store.

But does he go out and tour with that? He doesn't tour with that? He doesn't tour with it, which I would love to see him. Yeah. I mean, he's so, I mean, just. You think he could maintain that for an hour? I don't know, it might have to be part of a variety show. Or you have to build towards that because, you know,

to headline as just ourselves is hard enough. Like to headline as a character, woo. Yeah, that's tough. Yeah. Because if they're not buying it, you're stuck in that character for an hour. that's tough. Because if they're not buying it, you're stuck in that character for an hour. And we all have nights where they're not buying it. And then you pivot, you change your energy,

you do a little more crowd work. There's so many adjustments you can make, but when you're in a character, that's it. I know. I know nothing worse than jumping ship on a, staying committed as a character. Actually guys, sorry, this isn't the real me. I apologize that you guys don't like that character.

Let me figure something else out. Like you're like, oh god. I mean, in some ways you can do like, my own persona can change depending on the crowd sometimes. Oh dude, absolutely. Sometimes I'm way angrier than other guys. Sometimes I'm coming in hot. Or just like, depending on the audience,

like they set me off in a way where I'm like, okay, let me channel this into the jokes. And that's, the tone is gonna be a little bit more, oh, he's a little bit more ready to be. Well, it's also where you're coming from. Like I really think that to be a good comic you have to walk on stage. Like I've had, I have depression and I've had nights, like I had a night this year at the San Francisco Punchline and I'm sitting in the hotel and it's like probably my favorite

club in the country. But somehow I fly in on Thursday and I get in at three o'clock and I sat in my room in the dark for like two hours like Just looking straight ahead. I was like, I don't know how I'm gonna do this Oh, wow, and I kind of just dragged myself over there and normally I'm like, you know, I know the manager There's a hug. I'm whoever's serving me in the green room. I get to know them Yeah other comics, you know, you're busting their ball. I just came in flat.

I didn't say hi to anybody. I just walked in the green room and I just sat in the corner. And then they brought me on stage and I just said, I said, I'm in a dark place right now and I really don't know how I'm gonna do this. And then somebody yelled something out like, you can do it man or something.

And then I just shit on him. And then I just shit on him. And then I just like spun into comedy mode. Yeah. Like it, not right away. It took me a few minutes, but after I got a couple laughs, it was like, it was like I had just been injected with, what's the drug that makes you happy? Adrenaline.

Endorphins. It was like I got an endorphin flood. Yeah. And when I walked off stage, that mood was, I couldn't even remember that. Yeah. And I was in a good mood for the rest of the weekend. But I speak, but if I had gone on stage and pretended I was in a good place. Then you might've bombed or felt bad, not bombed, but you know what I mean. I wouldn't have connected. We know when we don't like at this point, like we know when we don't like at this point like we know when we don't like sets the goal Is even the goal always is to hopefully not let the audience know like I don't know yeah

Well, I think it's about connecting to them in an honest way. Yeah, you know and which means I Feel like if I can meet them where they are and we're and where I am and we have a relationship At the end of the show even if they're wearing a ton of laughs, people walk out and they go, hey, that was fucking great. They react to it. They feel it. As opposed to just giving them the same, I don't know, Kevin Meaney is probably my favorite

comedian of all time. He would go on stage and he was I mean another character like he just was wacky and high-energy and silly and he wore a bow tie and a jacket and he used to sweat he would bring an extra shirt between shows you know he gave the audience a thousand percent but if they weren't buying it like he didn't change gears he just kept on going right which made the comedians like that's when he'd get in the back of the room and watch because then he'd sweat even more and he'd start saying just little things between jokes

and it was amazing. Yeah, some of the biggest laughs I've ever gotten from comics is when I'm just deep in an act out that's not working. Just deep committing to a physical bit where the audience is not into it at all. There's just comics howling in the back because I'm like, huh?

And then, not this? Okay, let me try this over here. And you hear that laugh and you know who it is. Oh, it's a dark laugh. Yeah, when you hear Eric Griffin dark laughing. Yeah, it's like wow. And that can save you. A bad set can be really nice sometimes.

It can be so grounding when you just go up there and it's not happening and you let it not happen. Not that you had to give up, but you're still trying, but you're not freaking out anymore. And then the next set you have is always one of the best sets you've ever had because you just have to recover. Yeah, that reset factor when you're like, okay,

now I'm owed a good one after what I just went through and what I put that crowd through. Yeah. Tell me more about the car wash. I meant to go back to that. Oh yeah. What was it like working in a car wash? I worked there for, this was like back in Kansas City

and it was an outdoor year-round car wash. Are there indoor car washes? Not, well, I mean, when you put it that way, not really many. More like covered, like, kind of things, but most of them are. Are these supposed to be covered? Well, like, so the outside, like once it went through the automated part,

we would wipe it down outside with all the elements. There wasn't like, year round. Year round. No shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why I say outdoor, because it's like, you know, you're exposed to everything. Yeah. So like, you would look out and there's a bank,

a big bank clock across the street, and it would be over 100 degrees in the summer, and then it would be, I remember looking at it, down to 17 degrees in the winter. Uh-huh. And there's people who are members who, if they had a card, anytime they filled up with gas, they get a free wash.

Oh, it was part of a gas station? Mm-hmm. Were you pumping gas as well, or just the... No, there was, there's basically like a, there'd be like a sales attendant who'd come out and they're like, hey, you wanna wash your car today? Like that kind of a thing, but they wouldn't pump it for you. So then you were out there with the rag,

just buffing it down, getting inside the car with the spray. Oh dude, detailing the inside, like if they paid for that, and then like getting the wheels, dressing the tires, the whole thing. Never like when they do the tires, because I feel like they put that armor all on and it looks too shiny, and then I feel like over time

it actually dries out the rubber. Oh, I don't know. You never stuck around for that. No, I- Just did your little Elmerall thing. I did the Elmerall and then I let it out. I think the idea is that you get your car washed so much that there's always that shine on it.

I do think that. No, I think it is. Yes, yes. Because you get used to, oh, that looks pretty nice. It's kinda fading. Oh, maybe I should go get a car wash. It's like a fade in your hair. Right, right.

You gotta keep that fade tight. Tight. And did you ever find anything in a car that was unusual? Oh, I mean, just some of the worst stuff. Really? Yeah. Used like very soiled panties. Uh huh. Like I think there was a like an actual mouse in one car that was so filled up with stuff.

Yeah. Sometimes like somebody tried to keep their cats in the car and we're like you gotta get your cats out before we like vacuum it and stuff. Like we can't have live animals in here. It's okay just They're in the back. We're like, no. A lot of just gross stuff. One of the worst things that I ever cleaned up was somebody spilled a gallon of nacho cheese in the back of a van. No. And they came in to detail it. And I had to carpet shampoo it it so I had to suck it up. I don't know if you're just working outside and stuff in the elements like if you work

out mowing lawns or stuff. Later in the day you are coughing up dirt and stuff like that. Later that night after I did the carpet shampooing of the cheese I was coughing up and blowing cheese out of my nose. No way. Yeah, it was disgusting. Oh, God. Yeah, I should have been wearing a mask,

but I'd never done cheese before. I'm like, this is fine. Yeah. And it was, dude, it was so gross. You live and learn. If you're gonna do cheese, wear the mask. Yeah, now you know. Yeah, so just sucking up just tons of cheese

and just like wringing out the mats. Oh, God. It was so gross. And all the time, and the whole of the while you're thinking about the lifestyle of this person that has a van and eats cheese nachos in the back of it. I think it was a weird catering thing. Oh, okay.

You know like one of those like, they dispensaries like at like a gas station or something that has like the nozzle that you like put it under. I think it was one of those big boxes that had to have spilled. Because there's too much for like jars of you know there would have been like ten jars of queso that somebody would have you know. When I think of the top ten worst things for you that you could eat, nacho cheese, movie butter. Oh, yeah.

Relish at like a convenience store for a hot dog? Like anything in that condiment section of the 7-Eleven? Yeah. Yeah. But I eat pretty bad on the road because that's- You have no choice. Yeah. And I love it too.

So when I get back home, I try to like kind of cleanse out my system before I go back out on the road. Yeah, right. I think I had pizza, no joke, probably six times this last week on the road. Where were you? I was in Nashville. Yeah. Yeah. Did you get any hot chicken? I did. Hattie B's baby. Really? Is that the place? That's one of the spots. I love it. No shit. Yeah yeah. Ralphie May told me forever ago, he's like, you gotta try Hatted Bees. You gotta get that. Whenever he's like, it's a staple here.

You gotta get it. And there's different levels, right? The order of hotness? Yeah, yeah. And I usually get hot. You do? Yeah, yeah, I usually get hot. Damn.

Yeah. Yeah, I gotta try that. Were you at Zany's? Yeah, I directed a Josh Wolf special on Wednesday. Oh, amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah, so we did a couple shows and

Just two shows? Two shows, yeah. Yeah, and then hoping to get it out in these next few months, but he did like a comedy music special there and killed, it was awesome. I didn't know he did music. Yeah, I think he does it more like on the road,

like with guitar and stuff like that, and then he's also been touring with the road, like with guitar and stuff like that. And then he's also been touring with his son, Jacob. Oh, that's right. They have a fun, it's a really cool, unique dynamic to see father and son, Yeah. do like jokes together and stuff on stage. So it's cool.

Aren't they just in Australia? Yeah, they just did a tour over there. Yeah. Yeah. Right, wow, that's pretty cool. How many cameras did you have? I think seven. Nice.

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, it was cool. Yeah, it was a big busy. How many cameras did you have? I think seven. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Wow That was cool. Yeah, it was a big busy. That's something you want to do you want to direct? Yeah, I have been I have been directing and it's something that I want to do and continue to do. I just Launched a production company thousand percent thousand percent Avery Pearson. Yeah, me and my buddy. Yeah, we did a We had a cool write-up in LA Times recently that I saw that congratulations. Thanks, man Avery Pearson. Yeah. Me and my buddy, we did a, we had a cool write-up in LA Times recently that- I saw that, congratulations. Thanks, man. Yeah.

It was cool. Yeah, they just kind of like laid out some of the stuff that we're doing. Yeah, we just did this, we got hired to do an Einstein Bros Bagels campaign that I directed. Really? Yeah, yeah.

Dude. So we shot a comedy music video for them and made an ad out of it. And then, yeah, they chopped it up for their socials and there's a couple spots they're airing, like I think on Netflix and like around the internet right now. Uh-huh, nice.

So, yeah, we're hoping to do more of that. So Josh Wolf special and then we have a Jack Jr. special that we're shooting next month at the Alex Theater in Glendale. Jack Jr. who's that? A comedian, he's open for Fluffies, he was on Arsenio's Netflix introducing show, he's been around for a long time. His parents own the Ha Ha in North Hollywood. Right.

Yeah. So, what is your, when you direct a special, what are you like, what are you focused on in terms of taking the comedian and trying to capture them on the special? So what we did with Josh Wolfe was, the concept was, it's his, he's gonna call it the campfire special. So one of the things that we did with him

was we brainstormed and we tried to think of what's the best way to capture a campfire vibe? With the special and with the comedy and everything. And we thought of this idea for the set design just to make it a little bit different. We bought these curtains and we put these little lights through, we poked holes through this curtain to make it look like a starry night behind him.

So we've got these great tracking shots where he's on a stool with his guitar and the audience is in lawn chairs, camping chairs. The whole audience or just the front? The front is like wrapped around him. Oh I love that. Yeah. So it's just something a little bit different like where just to get him in space and he

had like some special guests that are on the show that I don't know if he wants me to say or not yet but he's got some fun special guests on the show. Jack Jr.? Uh Josh Wolfe. No. You're just trying to shoehorn all your guys. Yeah just all of them them in one spot. Yeah.

But yeah, so we're working on, we're doing a walkthrough of the Alex Theater with Jack Jr. later this week, and we're trying to figure out what's gonna be kinda his, kinda angle to bring that all together. And then as far as directing, it's just like what makes the comic look good and just in a way where it's like in a not distracting way.

You know? Right. Yeah, that's the thing is I just watched Louis CK's special, Hilarious. And you know, and he's obviously directing it himself. He's a director. And he wanted this sort of like very cinema verite thing where he had a cameraman on stage

that was getting within like 10 feet of him, and getting these moving shots. And at one point, Louis just stops and he kept it in the special. He stops him and he goes, hey man, you're too close. He goes, I can literally hear the director in your ear, in your headphones. and then the crowd laughed

and Louis shit on the guy, and I love that he kept it in. It was so funny because you want it intimate. You wanna get that really good shot, but. At what cost at the same time? It depends on, some people are easily distracted. Like I am, I can't, I'm not good at, like I hyper notice everything that's happening in the room very aware I'm there I mean it's pros and cons I'm very present always but sometimes I'm like oh man I'm

like I see in and here and everything yeah right right and it's almost like the the Andy Kindler disease and if you ever see Andy Kindler work, but he can't even get through a set because he has to, if a person drops a drink, if somebody orders a drink, if somebody fucking yawns, he'll stop mid-joke and deconstruct everything that's happening. And that's kind of the point,

but I find myself having to really regulate how much I Notice oh I it's it's something I've had to work on hard over the years of choosing when I Want to go off the rails like off of little things in the crowd because if I did it I mean I could easily do it the whole time Yeah, I wanted to just keep nitpicking little things right like in clubs that like it's a Friday night It's like a late show or something. That could be the whole show if you want it to be because people get so rowdy and sloppy.

That's to me what a Friday night late show is, is I just walk on stage knowing. Usually I'm looking at my set list, I got some new jokes, I'm kinda going through it. Friday night late show I just walk on, I just roll up my sleeves like, all right, what are we doing here? Let's go. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, so I wanted to ask you a couple things about, like male friends, well actually, I wanna talk, you just talked about making decisions on stage, and I was thinking driving over here, because yesterday I played in a golf tournament, and I played in a foursome with three billionaires like literal billionaires yeah like they live in Cabo they flew up on a private jet they're staying at the Four Seasons and they all are you know they're still working but they don't need to be you

know they're like they're like maybe 60 do you feel out of place? No I don't care I look down on them I really. I look down on them. I really do. I look down on them because I just realized they probably gave their whole lives to get this successful. Right. They've got everybody, they've got a power dynamic with everybody in their life where they're better than them.

They have control. They have power. And that's the life they chose. And then they'll even say to me, do you belong to a country club out here? I'm like, yeah, Penn Mar, the municipal place in Venice, it's nine holes. I don't care.

Like I never, when they- That's probably refreshing for them, honestly. Well, that's why I think it works. Because I play in these charity tournaments all the time and they always pair me up with three or four billionaires and I just make them laugh and but I started thinking about None of them ever strikes me as super smart And so I say to myself like like, you know, like they don't they don't tell good jokes

Like even a joke joke, they can't tell it right which I always find a sign of intelligence if you can be funny Sure, and they're be funny. Sure. And they're not funny, so there's that. The outfits are bad, the golf game's not good, and I said, what makes these guys billionaires? And I thought it's consistency and focus. And I thought about they just have always made good decisions. They've had the sort of like, I think about how many decisions everybody makes in their life. And there's the big ones like, should I buy a house? Should I refinance my mortgage? Should I go with this agent or this agent?

Whatever the big decisions are. But then you're making, how many fucking other decisions? You decided to wear that hat today. That was a decision you made. You gotta live with that. I gotta live with this for the rest of my life. People are gonna watch this podcast forever. And they're gonna be like, why did he wear that hat?

Why did he trade a car? What kind of car was it? It was a Honda. Oh, all right, well then I guess. It wasn't as nice of a car as what you thought it was. So you got a pretty good deal, actually. I actually feel like I lost money on this. But like the micro decisions that we constantly make, and I think about it with stand-up because

in a one hour set, you probably make a thousand decisions. Oh yeah. Should I move to the right side of the stage? Should I honor this moment that's happening and break out of my set? Should I speak louder? Should I take the mic further away? You know, there's just so many little things

that you're just, I slow down. And I thought about like, how much of our decision making is subconscious and how much of it do we sit down with a piece of paper and do pros and cons and you know, it's interesting because your life is the sum total of your micro and macro decisions that you make.

And what is it that makes you good at making those? Me or just us in general? Well, let's talk about you. Like, do you think you were raised in a way that made you a confident, informed decision maker? Or did you have to kinda retrain yourself? I think it's a mixture of both. I was raised fortunately with a family

with a lot of love around, right? Iowa? A lot of support in Kansas. Kansas. But financially, I think I have tried to learn on the sides of what to do and what not to do based on family stuff, you know? Just something like what I've seen worked

with parents and family over the years of like going in and out of debt and all that stuff. So I think it's a mixture of support but also knowing what to learn from. Right, what they did right and what they did wrong. Sure, so I try to apply that to not only just financial stuff but just life stuff in general. The sum of decisions, what you're talking about,

you're right, it's heavy when you look at it like that. It's like, well, if you're at this point at what age, then you're like, oh, well, I put myself here. Yes. It's a series of decisions that have led me to this place right here right now. So if you're in a good spot, then you feel pretty good about yourself.

But if you're not feeling great at the moment, then you're like, oh man, what could I have done differently in all that stuff? You regret. And that's the other thing I think that you could probably say about these billionaires is that old axiom of like, mistakes are fine as long as you're learning from them. Don't look back unless you're looking back to learn. Don't look back to beat yourself up.

But if you can say to yourself, I'm on my third marriage, what's my part in this? Sure. I mean, this is adjacent to what we're talking about, but 50 Cent and Eminem, peak of their fame, putting out, I mean, they're still obviously both huge in different ways. But 50 Cent was supposed to go on tour with Eminem when his daughter, Eminem's daughter Haley was very

young and they were going to make so much money doing an Eminem and 50 Cent tour and Eminem said he wouldn't do it and he's like why? He's like I don't want to see my daughter like just grow up without me. And 50 Cent said it did not hit him until, he could never understand for years and years, it didn't hit him until he went to Eminem's daughter's wedding and then he's like, oh it's already here. Like that's, you know, people make their choices of like,

you know, the sum of decisions, like could have made millions and millions here, but like no, he decided to make millions in a different way, so he could still be like in his daughter's life. Yeah, I look at Joey Diaz because he had, you know, he was in a bad place when his when his first daughter was born and he has regrets about not being in her life and I think they don't have a good relationship. Then he had another daughter about, what is she, about eight now? Yeah, yeah. And that guy doesn't tour.

Mm-hmm. He moved to New Jersey, he's friends with his neighbors, he goes to her practices and you know, and it's like, you know, there's the conventional decision making where, yeah, I can play percentages on every decision that I make, you know, or I can sort of like, you know, you look at people that make it and you look at like a weird Al Yankovitch who came up when, you know, musical comedy was looked down on, and people, he was a nerd, and he just went, no, Hawaiian shirt, big glasses,

there's no parodies, this is me. And then it all works out. I mean, there's so many different people that, that find their own way, but the confidence to make that decision based on who you are and honoring that, that's a hard decision to make for some people. And I think failure is often, when I look at some people that are failing, I'd go, because you're doing everything that just worked.

You're looking at, you know, oh, viral videos where I do this. Okay, yeah, but that was last year. And that worked for that person. Right, right. Yeah. And they're constantly beating themselves up because, well, I'm doing it and they're doing it, but it works, you know, well, you gotta figure out what your thing is,

but how do you know that, and then how do you have the confidence to make that decision? And you're kinda doing that, you do your own thing. Yeah, I've been fortunate to be a part of a lot of cool shows over the years in LA. And one of the things that I feel good about is me knowing when I need to move on from something. Right.

I've been a part of a lot of on-topic shows. Watch you walk off the podcast right now. The best closer to a podcast and I know when to be done with something. And you're like, hey, that's our producers again. You got six minutes left, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, wait, wait. That's our producers hanging. Wait, where at? Yeah. You got six minutes left, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, wait, wait.

Yeah, so you walked away from what? I mean, just over the years, so like, I used to be a part of Roast Battle, and we had an amazing run with that, with like The Wave. We did three seasons on Comedy Central with that. Yeah. And we all kinda like, me, Jamar, Neighbors, and Willie Hunter, we knew when it was like

we were, it was our time to like, for the show to evolve without us. The most recent one being when KilToni moved to Austin, that ended up being for me a great way for me to really reinvent like people focusing on what I do. Right. Not just being associated with the band. And I love being associated with Killtony and all the years that I had with it, but to be seen as just a saxophone player and something,

there's people who still, they're like, you do comedy? Because they only see you through a certain lens that is being presented to them. So with my show Stand Up On The Spot, Rogan was a big fan of doing the show and did it a lot in LA, but where he and I saw it differently, he didn't think that the show should be filmed at all.

Where I saw it as its own art form, I'm like, it's like jazz, it's literally, it's his own thing, it's not stand up, but it's stand up on the spot. You're riffing, I think it as its own art form. I'm like, it's like jazz. It's like, it's literally, it's his own thing. It's not stand up, but like, it's stand up on the spot. You're riffing like, I think it should be filmed because true comedy fans love to see how the brains work of comedians and stuff like that. So I started-

And also comedians aren't burning the material. Exactly. It's not from their act. So it's like a win-win. Right. It's a display of like them being funny, like, you know, just like a podcast, but on stage. That's how I look at it.

So when Joe moved to Austin and Tony moved to Austin, I was like, OK, I'm not doing Kill Tony anymore. I can focus really on filming Stand Up on the Spot more. And that's been awesome, and that's been growing over time. We're at almost 150,000 subscribers on stand-up. That's amazing! Yeah.

Wow! Yeah, that's in the course of the last few years of honing in on that and really doing that. And if Joe wouldn't have moved to Austin, I probably just, I'm a fan of Joe. I would have kept having him on the show. I'm like, yeah, we don't need to film it. Yeah, right, right, right.

But it forced me to be like, okay, let's do the thing. And it was a weird blessing in disguise when I started really putting it all in on that. So, and then with the comedy jam with Josh Edmire, I was honored to be a part of that for four or five years as well. And I kept being seen as a saxophonist and this hype man character that was on the show and people were not focusing

on my stand up and stuff like that. And eventually I was like, I'll love but I'm going to, and we talked about it and I was like, I think it's time, I was like, you don't need a sidekick anymore. You're doing this. You are, Josh Ademirers is the comedy genre. So I've tried to be selective of when to know when it's time to wrap things up. Yeah, I mean it really is hard.

Like I have a social media person that helps me out and she's like, you know, people know you as a podcaster because I've always put up clips on social media from my podcasts and rarely from my standup. And she's like, there's a lot of people that, she's like, it's gonna take time. We're gonna have to introduce, which is funny because I've been doing standup for 35 years. So there are obviously people that know's like, it's gonna take time, we're gonna have to introduce, and which is funny because I've been doing standup

for 35 years, so there are obviously people that know me from that, but like, not on social media as much as just like word of mouth, people know me, and so, so I've been like really trying to push that out, and I think it's even true with guys that open for big acts. Oh, absolutely. They don't break out of that, you would think,

okay, so this person's going in front of 5,000 people four or five nights a week, year round, they're gonna be able to come back to Denver and draw a crowd. Does not translate. I know. I heard, I forget who coined the term, of satellite comic. And it's the comics that are always surrounding the big comic but they never do their own thing. And that's a scary place to get pigeonholed into.

It's cool to do that stuff obviously. We all want to open for bigger comics at these bigger venues and stuff but how do you parlay that into your own thing? And that's always the goal with like these different like shows I've been a part of over time. Like when it's I feel like I've done my service to the show and like vice versa. I'm like, okay, what's the next thing that I can, you know, kind of do myself that like is my vehicle and not just putting bricks on somebody else's house.

Yeah. Because that person can also turn on you. You know, that happens all the time. You know, I've, I've been part of different, I was, I was never a satellite comic, but I mean, I did Stern like 50 times and then we had a falling out and it just went away and like, I didn't, I never put all my eggs in that basket.

I never like toured with the other Stern comics or anything like that, you know? And so when it went away, I just, you know, moved on to whatever Chelsea Lately or whatever the next thing was. And then me and Chelsea had a fun, I started like burning every brick. But.

My hat slowly starts going lower over my face. Yeah, right, right. And then also with the transition from Kill Tony, you came out of the closet, which was weird because you're married with a child. I know, that was the biggest shock to people. Yeah. And the hat was a big part of it.

Yeah, I said, I'm gay and I wear hats now. When did you tell your wife? She's gonna see this episode. Oh, this is it? This is the moment? I can label this episode, Jeremiah comes out gay and in a hat. I think it'll get some clicks. to see this episode. Oh, this is it? This is the moment? I can label this episode Jeremiah Comes Out Gay and in a Hat.

I think it'll get some clicks. Do you want to talk to Kamri, to your wife? Hey, I know you knew that I was gay, but I also like hats too. I think one definitely leads to the other. Yeah, it's a gateway. All right, it's time for Fastballs with Fitz. I think one definitely leads to the other. Yeah, this is a gateway. All right, it's time for fastballs with Fitz.

Who's your best male friendship? Oh man. It's funny when you're young, you could say it like that and then you get older and you're married and yeah Hmm my buddy One of the buddies that comes to mind is my buddy Chris McMillan who I work very closely with he's my DP on stand-up on the spot and and

He's my DP on Stand Up on the Spot and with this production company, stuff like that. We talk all the time and are very close. But there's a bunch of comments. Do you tell them shit that you don't tell anybody else? I'm pretty guarded with that stuff. I keep. Very Midwestern. Yeah, I keep a lot of stuff close to the chest.

Yeah. Like I got upset with a buddy the other day when I was venting about something and his wife was in the background. I was like, dude, you gotta tell me this before I'm like on- Oh, no shit. Yeah, I'm not a fan of that.

That's not cool at all. I'm not a fan, dude, right? I'm like, bro, like, he's like, I said, I was like trying to be polite. I was like this and this and this, and then he's like, well, you can tell her, she's right here. I'm like, what the he's like, I said, I was trying to be polite, I was like, this and this and this, and then he's like, well you can tell her she's right here, I'm like, what the frick?

I was like, I'll talk to you later, dude. No, you start the call with, I'm here with my wife. Yeah, or hey, you're on speaker in the car with someone and stuff. Right, right, right. Right away. Yes. So I got heated about that, like that kind of stuff. And he's a close buddy, too. All right, I don heated about that, like that kind of stuff. And he's a close buddy too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, I don't like that.

Yeah. Who's the worst opener that you ever ended up with on the road? I mean, I definitely am not gonna remember their name, but I had a show that was the first show back during COVID that there were, it was at Raleigh's. Charlie Good Nights.

Uh-huh. Where we had legitimately seven people in the crowd. People are walking by being like, is this open? Literally nobody knows that there's a show going on. It's so brand new to the, outside of COVID. I flew from LA to Raleigh, North Carolina, while my wife is pregnant with our firstborn. And I'm like, like, you know, trying to get some work, that kind of a thing. This opener makes the crowd feel bad about how there's only seven of them.

Oh, never do that. I said, Hey, man, I don't give notes to comics. Yeah. But I said, I'm going to tell you something that you should never ever do that. I said, hey man, I don't give notes to comics, but I said, I'm gonna tell you something that you should never ever do again, and it's what you just did on my show. I said, why are you making the seven people that are here feel weird or bad about them being the only ones here?

They're the ones who got the ticket. They showed up. They showed up for us. Why are you making them feel bad? I said, don't ever do that again. Right, right, right. I never, you know, I'm always, I try to be very easy going with the comics I always work with, but I'm like, yo dude, never again.

Yeah. Never ever do that again. And don't even tell them they're bad. If you're the opener, you never say, well you gotta suck. Oh well now they've identified as sucking. Yeah. Now they've lost faith in the show. Yep. And now I'm in a giant hole for the hour that I got to do. Now they've identified as sucking. Yeah, now they've lost faith in the show, and now I'm in a giant hole for the hour that I got to do. Right, say I suck, I'm sucking tonight.

Not you're sucking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, you're not feeling this, whatever. You're not feeling me, figure it out. What's the closest you ever got to a fist fight on stage? I have been hit a couple different times in different ways. Hit or pushed. Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been nut tapped, I've been pushed, I've been. The nut tap was on video, wasn't it? Yeah, I was at the store. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got, yeah, I've had weird altercations with people where there was one guy who started sweating who I thought was gonna deck me

when I got too close to him. I could tell that he was about to clock me. And I was like, okay. You know, cause I, you know, I, I riff a lot. I get silly. I sometimes would go into the crowd and some people just are not with being a part of the show. And this dude, like I was doing this dumb like

character thing where I was like getting really close in his face, he said into the mic, he goes, you have no idea, so bad I wanna hit you right now. And I was like, okay, and everybody heard it in the mic and I was like, okay, it's on to the next person. Like I was like, this dude like about, like even the security was like, dude, it's on to the next person. I was like, this dude about, even the security was like, dude, you almost got decked, you gotta be careful. I know, that one was on me.

Yeah, and you'd have video of the assault and the judge would go, that was your fault, actually. Yeah, he provoked you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The other ones where I've been hit on stage, I feel like they kinda came after me. Right, well, something about you. Something about this face and this hat.

Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Have you ever not finished a set on stage? No. Saw it through. Gotta do it. Gotta do it. Even if I absolutely despise the crowd, I will finish.

Sometimes I will make that crowd pay. Sure. Sometimes I'll be like, oh, you didn't like that? Get ready for this four minute act out I'm gonna do. Yeah. You don't like my sense of humor? Guess what? You're at least gonna remember how much you hate me

by the end of the night. That's right, yeah. Better to be memorable than bland. I have four abortion jokes, and if the crowds good. I'll only do two of them In some states are not allowed to do all four And then finally I'll ask you what's the hackiest bit that you've ever done? I had a bit that I love you went right into it you know how many comics fucking sit there and go I don't know I never really I don't think I ever had a hacky. Oh, fuck off. Oh no, I'll hem and haw around who I'm close with.

Yeah. But I know exactly what is considered super hacky that I used to do. Or I'm like, that I still close with. I had this bit and I would do this bit where it was like, I had a couple different bits where I would hump the stool and it would freaking destroy. And I had this bit where I would take a stool down to the ground and just different positions

just and it would like people loved it. Yeah I think in the 80s the MC used to have to come up with a rag and wipe the stool down between comedians, because everybody was humping the stool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha. All right, listen, man, what a blast. Dude, thank you so much for having me.

Just looking forward to having you on. It's always great. You're the best. You're coming up on a stand-up on the spot that we're shooting soon. Oh, that's right. I can't wait to do it. Exc it. I'm coming in with my brother, who I was just saying don't ever bring somebody to a show,

but my brother said to me, I'm flying him out for his 60th birthday and he's gonna spend like a week. And he goes, you know what I really love is coming to the clubs with you and just hanging out with the comics and all that. He goes, I know you hate that, I know you don't do that, but it's my birthday. And so I said, oh God. And then you asked me to do your show and He goes, I know you hate that, I know you don't do that, but it's my birthday.

And so I said, oh God. And then you asked me to do your show and I said, you know what, that one will be fun because it's like a party. For sure. Yeah, so he's gonna come down to that. Well he's gonna have fun, yeah, bring him back to the green room.

No, I don't know about that. I'll give him the royal treatment. Really? It's his birthday, of course, dude. Absolutely, yeah. Come on, it's his birthday and that's what he asked for? He's getting it. All right, good, I love it.

Yeah. The newest special is called Daddy on YouTube. There's also one called Family Reunion on Amazon Prime. The podcast is called what? Trailer Tales and Stand Up On The Spot. I do a weekly podcast with Chelsea Lynn and Libby Higgins. That's super fun. Great.

Tour dates coming up in April the 18th and 19th at the Blue Note in Hawaii, Honolulu. April 25th at the Grand Theater in Tracy, California. Is that right? These are not my dates. Oh no, no, no. Ha! This is Caroline Ray's dates.

If she gets sick. All right, if Caroline Ray dies in the next week, then. Then I guess I'm filling in for those dates. That's so hilarious. I'll be in. Tacoma, Washington, June 27th and 28th, Tyler, Texas, July 18th and 19th. Kansas City, Springfield, Missouri,

Austin, Texas, and yeah, some more dates. Can I suggest you put those dates on your website? They should be on there. They're not. Okay well and you know that's who I can blame for the TicketSant moving. Me not putting the dates on the site. Well they're out there now you heard it America he's going to be there in the hat. Oh wait a second that's my That's my hat. They made me wear this hat. They made me, they put this hat on me. That's the real reason. It's his hat. He walked in here with it. I walked in with a green hat. And is that the Allman Brothers in your shirt? Beatles. Oh, Jesus, really? Yeah. Oh, yeah, now I see. In that era.