Fitzdog Radio - Joe Rogan Is Back

Episode Date: September 24, 2013

Joe Rogan comes in studio and talks about how some feminists now claim that if a woman has even one drink sex can be considered rape. Joe also shames Greg about his Prius.

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And now, here's a podcast. Welcome to FitzDog Radio. My guest sitting across from me right now is the lovely, powerful Joe Rogan. Powerful Greg Fitzsimmons. How are you, brother? How did you get so powerful? I mean, you're powerful. Physically, mentally.

Physically working out, mentally reading books. But do you believe, because I was thinking about this, the Pope, you know, made this big, beautiful statement about how we need to stop getting into people's sex lives. And we need and, you know, he really to not take a stand is to take a stand for a pope to not say gays are bad is to is a big fucking breakthrough. And then somebody wrote an article about how can you have faith. Faith is not a doctrine. It is not a set of rules. Faith is something that in the beginning of your life you believe this because you have tried as hard as you could to find your own truth.

And then later in your life, if it's the same set of shit, you didn't live much of a life. It should fucking change. And that's essentially what the Pope was saying. And I was thinking, with your martial arts background, isn't that the ultimate strength in martial arts is to not try to enforce a certain move? It's to react.

It's to use the power of the other person to your advantage. Is that an apt metaphor? Am I eating gummy bears? Well, it is a possibility. Martial arts, the idea of art and martial being war, it doesn't seem to jive with a lot of people because they think of it as just being violence. But where the art is, is in the dance. In that what's compelling and intoxicating about martial arts and competition and getting better at martial arts

is that everyone brings their own unique attack. You can decide to punch. You can decide to kick. You can decide to move a specific way. It's completely based on what you're trying to do to a person. And then the other person either acts and you clash or reacts and moves or tries to counter. And it becomes this sort of almost like a creative dance. And it doesn't seem like it to people that don't practice it, but to people that, you know, they're, where they've been doing martial arts their whole life, when someone pulls something off, it's truly beautiful. I mean, it is just as beautiful as any painting, just as beautiful as any film or maybe even more so because, you know, the stakes are so incredibly high.

Well, art, I would think, not to cut you off, but art to me is about being in the moment and truth. Truth is being what is about being in the moment and truth. Truth is being, what is truthful in this exact moment? And if you think about it, if two guys just went at each other and they decided, I'm going to go into this fight and I'm going to throw three overhand rights, then I'm going to kick them, whatever. And both guys did that, they would get horribly injured, both of them. So it is an art in the sense that you are playing off of each other and using that force, not going counter to it all the time. Yeah. And it's also an art in that it's enjoyable for other people to observe.

Right. Martial arts have always been about not just competing, but competing in front of people. Right. I mean, when was the last time you heard of a fight where it's just two people and no one around? It's very rare. Right. When was the last time you heard of a fight where it's just two people and no one around? It's very rare. It's almost always either their friends are around and they're sort of egging you on. It's very rare that two people just go to blows.

In a competition, it's almost unheard of. Two people never get together and meet and say, look, forget the crowds. Let's just figure it out between ourselves. That doesn't happen. You do it in front of people. It's the thing about boxing, the thing about wrestling, crowds. Right. In that sense, it's an art form. You know, I'm reading this biography of Lincoln right now, and they talk about in the 1840s or so, the idea of dueling sort of went out.

I don't know when. Who was the president who had a duel? Was it like Van Buren or somebody? A duel in office? In office. Oh, my God. Right. That's so crazy.

And that it went out of favor. It was seen as barbaric to duel. And then there was an argument that life became much more barbaric because people were no longer accountable. They like if somebody fucking called you to a duel, you you fucking dueled. So you watched your behavior a little bit yeah and so i was thinking about that with um you know just matters in general i think because there's less uh of what you would describe as go meet me we got a beef let's you and i meet and we'll have a fight yeah that that would be maybe a positive element. Maybe, but I always feel like a way more positive element is introducing martial arts very early into people's lives, especially into kids' lives, because it keeps them from getting involved in violence. Right. Because, first of all, you learn discipline, and you also learn that it's not important.

A lot of the reason why people get involved in fights in the first place is they're trying to prove something to themselves. And you can get all that out in the gym. Yeah. You know, you get your ego squashed in the gym. Right, right. So you don't need to prop it up. Yeah. You know, and that's a real issue with some men.

It's like they get in fights almost like they don't even, especially when alcohol's involved. They're more trying to like prove a point or prove who they are than anything. They're more self-defining. The fights that I've been in have mostly been because I get enraged, which is partly physiological, I guess. I mean, you can say Irish people drink a lot and they fight a lot and it can be a stereotype. They, Irish people, drink a lot and they fight a lot and it can be a stereotype. Or it can be traceable to the fact that our livers process alcohol differently, so we end up drinking more, which is true.

And I would say we fight more because however we process anxiety or stress is not good. Because when I get too stressed and angry, I can't control it. I go out of control. angry, I can't control it. I go out of control. And underneath it, I think, is my feeling of helplessness in life. So that when I get pushed in an anxious place too far, I feel like I want to exert control over life. I want to feel not as little and helpless. So I fight, which obviously makes you feel less. You feel even worse after that. You could. If you lose. Or you can feel great.

You can feel great. But then even you don't feel that good. Even when I win fights, I wouldn't feel that good later. I've never felt great when I won in competition, especially if I knock someone out. Yeah. That was the most bittersweet thing ever, to see someone laying unconscious. Because first of all, I was under no illusion that that couldn't happen to me. It never did happen to me, but it easily could have happened to me. There's no doubt about it. I could have gotten kicked right upside the head and went completely asleep. I saw a guy go to sleep for a half an hour.

He was unconscious from a head kick for a full half an hour. And then they eventually got him up to sit up, and they put him in a stretcher and took him to the hospital. But for a full half hour, he was completely sleeping. Yeah, that guy's a little fucked up today, probably. I'm sure. He was 18 when it happened, too. Right. He was a young man when it happened. Right.

Yeah, violence is not the answer, kids. Don't get violent. I wish there was ever a fucking lesson to my podcast. I wish there was some. Sometimes there is. Yeah, violence is not the answer, kids. Don't get violent. I wish there was ever a fucking lesson to my podcast. I wish there was some. Sometimes there is. I guess there is. I guess if there's a lesson, it's, you know, don't become like me. Don't drive a Prius.

Oh, you still have that fucking Prius. Why don't you get a goddamn muscle car? You know you want one. I want the muscle car, and I used to think it was the Mustang but now I swear to God I have an erection for that Challenger. Challenger's a nice car.

I drove one on Joe Rogan Questions Everything. Did you? Fun car to drive. The V8? Yes. The SRT8. And what's nice about it too

is it's very comfortable. It's like it's a relaxed car. Yeah. It's not like too crazy. The Mustang was a great car as well but I had a Shelby and the Shelby's just so raucous. It's so fucking loud and awesome.

And you said turns? Would it not have good control going into turns? Well, it has a live axle, which means it doesn't have an independent rear suspension. It's basically a big, fat pipe that wheels are riding on. It's got 550 horsepower. The new ones have 660. Wow. It's insane, the amount of horsepower they're putting into those Shelbys. Damn. But you know,

you stomp on the gas around the corner and the ass end just goes, wah! Right, right. It's completely sideways. Yeah.

It's really easy to break the ass end down. Yeah. It's fun because of that. My Prius, sometimes if I really stomp on it into a turn,

people laugh at me. The lights go out. The door is locked. The door is batteries. The radio turns on the Spanish channel. I told you last week I blew out a fucking tire. Yeah. You should just get rid of it.

Well, I told my son. My son is like, Dad, why don't you? Because he knows I want one also. He goes, why don't you just buy a Mustang? And I was like, well, if something good happens career-wise. And then I got this show. I sold this show. And he's like, you going to get the Mustang now?

And I realized, what a fucking pussy I am. I'm like, no, it's got to be a series. It's just a pilot now. When is it going to be? How old do I have to be? How much are you willing to spend if you were going to buy something? Well, I can sell my Prius for like $25. So how much more would you spend?

I guess $10. Well, you can get the Mustang. The Mustang GT. So what would you, how much more would you spend? I guess 10. Well. You can get the Mustang. The Mustang GT. It's a 303. And you can get it for about 30 grand. That's a great car. Right.

And the Mustang GT is like, as far as like base cars, they're ridiculously powerful. Yeah. It's over 400 horsepower. That's all I need. For the base car. Right. Yeah, it's incredible. So what are you laughing at?

It's fly. But it's like, you gotta got to spend some of that money. Live a little. I'm so obsessed with my kids going to college, man. You're closing in on 50. I got it. Listen, it'll be great for your kids to fucking accumulate a little debt. Right.

I know. The only problem with kids going to college when you pay for everything is it doesn't mean shit to them. Right. I know. I know. That's real. Now, I was thinking about driving over here. as it doesn't mean shit to them. Right.

I know. I know. That's real. Now, I was thinking about driving over here. I was thinking about you and me and what the difference is because I feel jealous of you that you live,

you drive these cars and you fucking get high when you want, you travel when you want, you work out and you just do whatever the fuck you want. And as much as compared to the average U.S. American male, I am fucking so close to you, people can't tell the difference.

But from where I'm sitting, I'm a guy driving a Prius who fucking doesn't- I'm not you. And I want to get closer to what you are, but I'm afraid. Well, we've always been like this. You remember when we were really young and I had a car that got repossessed? You're like, why do you have this fucking car that's so expensive because I love it fuck it I've always been that guy I had to own mine I had to be able to pay for it up front you didn't give a fuck it got repossessed because you missed payments yeah yeah well I when I went from being a martial arts instructor to being a stand-up comedian, I went fucking broke. Right. Hard.

And that was when we first became friends. That was the transitionary period. We were both open micers. We were both struggling. When I decided that I had to do it, I'm like, this is, I went balls out. I had a real job. I mean, I was teaching at Boston University.

I had my own school. And that was what I was doing for a living. I was like, I had an actual career in teaching martial arts. Right. I had like real credentials. I was a for a living. I was like, I had an actual career in teaching martial arts. Right. I had like real credentials. I was a multiple time martial arts champion. So it was like, I could get people in my classes. And I was like, this is not what I want to do anymore.

I got to quit. I can't just keep doing this and doing that. I can't have feet in both worlds. Right. It's just not me. So I just quit everything, cold turkey, and then delivered newspapers and did construction and all that kind of shit to drive uh my uh my need to become a comedian and that's when i lost the car that's

me lost the car but i mean just in terms of like i go to bed at night and i think about i'm afraid of things i told you i have to listen to audiobooks yeah because i can't which by the way, I should talk about Audible in a second. But I don't know what it is down there. I'm all set. My life is pretty set. You're very successful. You're very successful as a comedian. You're very successful as a father. You're very successful as a husband.

You're very successful as a writer. You're very successful as a radio guy. You got a lot of success, but you still don't feel satisfied. It's a fear. No, I'm not unsatisfied at all. I don't think that's it. I think that I'm afraid of tomorrow. I don't think it's going to keep coming.

I think it's all going to go away right away. Well, eventually one day you're going to be right, and we know that for sure. I'm going to die. You're going to die. Everyone who listens to this is going to die. There's no getting around that. Right. I think it's all about living in the moment and not dwelling on the inevitable demise because if you dwell on that you can also dwell on illness i mean

the saddest thing is watching someone who can't touch things watching someone's afraid to shake hands like i take pictures after my shows and uh you know i took pictures in toronto this weekend and i put them up on my website and it's like 250 fucking plus people I'm hugging and shaking hands with you take the pictures? no you know I have someone take a picture and then I put them up on my website

oh that's cool yeah it's great and I used to just take pictures with people but they would use their cameras their fucking cell phone camera and no one knows

how to work their goddamn camera that's smart it takes forever and I've seen you after shows like at the Ice House and you fucking

you will spend time and you're good at this because you'll give them their shot, but you also don't slow the line down. You keep moving and you give them their dignity, but you also don't suffer a fucking bore. Well, you can't be rude to other people that are waiting because it's a long ass

line of people waiting. But my point is that I shake all these people's hands and I don't worry about it, but I have a friend who was like, I can't believe you touch all those people's hands. And I was like, why not? And they're like, you don't worry about it, but I have a friend who was like, I can't believe you touch all those people's hands. I was like, why not? And they're like, you don't worry about diseases or cold. I go, wash your fucking hands afterwards. What's the big deal? I go, I think it's probably good

for your immune system to shake a lot of different people's hands. Yeah, if there's something going around, I'll get paranoid about it. Like if I'm in Michigan in the winter and there's a flu, I get the Purell immediately. But it's not going to bother me. It's only if you touch your eyes and your face. Exactly.

So you wash your hands when you're done and you're good. Yeah, if you're shaking hands with people and you don't touch your mouth, you're not going to get it in your body. Right. But if I blow a guy, like after a show, if somebody really laughs hard. Especially how much they cum when you blow them. Right. That's why I try to let off in the end.

You know, I don't touch the balls because I can handle a couple swallows. Just put a little teeth into it. Just annoy them enough. Now is when I do the Audible ad. Audible.com, ladies and gentlemen, because this is the kind of thinking that is the result. I talk about it all the time. I don't have a ton of sponsors on my show because I take ones on that I believe in. Audible.com is a company that has provided me with sleepful nights.

Night after night, I listen to boring biographies that put me to bed right away. Or during the day, I listen to shit that makes me laugh. Like right now, David Sedaris' new book, Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls. Holy shit, laughing out loud in my car. I catch up on books. You can get a free one. Get an audio book. Try it out. Call me a liar. Okay. Go ahead. Try it. Audiblepodcast.com slash Greg. Download one. Listen to it. If you enjoy it, you will find the service simple. The landing page will show you every type of book you can imagine by genre, by awards, whatever.

Get involved. Support the show. Audiblepodcast.com slash Greg. Get a free download. Enjoy it. Joe Rogan. I use Audible. It's awesome. Do you? Yeah, they're a podcast sponsor of mine as well. It's an amazing service. They have so much good shit on there. It's really awesome. And I really feel like sitting with a book in my lap, I still do it and it feels really good. But my wife looks at me if I'm reading. And again, this is the difference between us. I can train her to not do that.

If she were to give me shit about sitting and reading, there's a way that I can just not accept that and she'll stop doing it. I'm a big believer in nobody has a fucking bitch wife who won't let them whatever. No, you didn't let you go out that night. She didn't. She may have preferred you didn't, but you gave in to it. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, that's real. And then those people, this is what drives me fucking crazy, is guys who are henpecked, they almost want other people to be henpecked as well of course you know right oh come on your wife doesn't let you do anything either and you're like no yes you can you can you can you can have a relationship where you let your wife go out and you go out and she can go to with her friends somewhere and you can go with your friends right that is possible just like it's possible for friends to have other friends. Not only possible, I really believe that mental health is the number one thing.

And if my wife knows that I'm fucking stressed out, I've been working a lot, if I don't go to the gym, I'm not helping anybody. If I don't go play golf with my friend once in a while, I'm not going to be a happy guy. That's not good for anybody. It's not good for anybody. So I'm the same way with her. You know, there's certain things she needs to do, I support. And, you know, and it's not quid pro quo.

Like, oh, you did this, so I get to do that. That's just as bad as not letting them do it in the first place. Well, that's like you own them then. Right. That's like some weird, that's a weird fucking relationship. That's also a relationship where you want someone to do something that they don't want to do, which I always think is bad. Right.

You want someone to do something for you. Well, you told me I could do this. No, you should do that. I'm like, who the fuck are you? Are you a friend? Do you love that person? Or is that person property? Or are you working a business deal?

Like, what is this? No, what I like is she observes me, and she may have judgment on it, but the judgment doesn't encompass controlling me. It's just, you jerked off while driving? And she won't say it's dangerous or it's gross. She's just sort of like, it amuses her. It amuses her. Well, how could she get it? How could you get what it's like to be pregnant? How could she get what it's like to have the satisfaction of blowing a load under your shirt while you're driving? Right. And just patting it down and keep driving. That's it.

And make sure there's not a trucker. If there's a trucker next to you, he can see. Well, watch. Fuck him. Fuck him. As long as he doesn't have a cell phone hanging out the window, zooming in, especially that new one that you have. It's very clear and beautiful in slow motion. I got the new iPhone in slow motion, baby.

Arcing ropes of jism slowly blasting off of your dick right and the fear in her eyes you can see it better why does your wife stare at you when you read books what is that about it's not so much that she doesn't want me to but there's a time when you have two kids that are you know home from school

and it's like between dinner and bedtime there's a there's a pace that happens and if I'm home I should be a part of it. Right. But that's when I want to read. Yeah, that's a weird thing. That's a different thing. That's when you've got to pitch in.

That has become a big part of my life that I didn't sort of foresee. I thought when I had kids, I was like, well, when you have kids, you have kids, I mean, your life will change a little bit, but you can still do the things you do. Sort of yes, but when I'm home and my kids are up, I'm with my kids, and you have to. I didn't know that you had to until I had them. And I'm like, oh, they want you around all the time.

They don't just want you around sometime. I mean, you could conceivably go off on your own, but I wouldn't enjoy it because then I would think that I was being selfish. Maybe sometimes in the morning I'm checking my email or certain things I have to get done, but unless I'm home for a long stretch of time, I make a real concerted effort when they're up to be with them. I put them to bed. I read stories to them. Then, thankfully, they go to bed early. Then I have my time. I read stories to them. And then thankfully they go to bed early. Then I have my time. So I do almost all my writing, all my reading, everything while

everyone's asleep. Yeah. And plus, if I'm on the road on a regular basis, that means I've got all day Friday and Saturday usually to get through my emails, write some material, whatever I need to do. So when I'm back, I take the first flight home on Sunday morning. Yeah. And I'm fucking so happy to see them. And the day flies because I know they're going to school on Monday morning. So this is it. I get some of my best writing done on planes. Yeah. Can't go anywhere. You know, especially if they don't have Wi-Fi. I get excited when a plane doesn't have Wi-Fi. Right. Yes. Right. Pull out the laptop. It's a cubicle. I say the laptop has six hours of battery. If I can write until the laptop battery goes out,

I'm golden. If I'm on a six-hour flight, golden. I remember when we worked together recently and we were going from San Francisco to Seattle and we get to the airport and we're checking in and you saw my ticket and you're like, you're in coach? I'm like, yeah, we're going an hour.

And you take my ticket and you brought it up, pull out your credit card and you go, put this asshole in first class with me. And that's it. Why don't I fly first class, Joe? I can afford it. I don't know. I think you're more conservative than me. I just, I'm a big chance taker. Right.

But I'm not. I don't gamble. I'm not stupid. You don't drink? But I spend money. Right. Yeah. I do drink. I mean, I'll have a couple'm not stupid. You don't drink? But I spend money. Right. Yeah. I do drink.

I mean, I'll have a couple of drinks, but I don't get fucked up on a regular basis. No, but I don't mean, I mean drink. I mean commit to it. Like go out, let's go drinking. No. You don't womanize. I mean, we're similar in a lot of ways. In a lot of ways.

What? Yeah, in a lot of ways. You just don't take it that next, I don't give a fuck level. Right. I need that. Yeah. I got to get there, man. It's my biggest challenge.

It's tricky. Do you have a good nest egg stashed away? Yeah, we got a good nest egg. So fucking buy that Mustang, man. Jesus fucking Christ, son. Buy that Mustang. You really will enjoy it. I enjoy my cars.

People say that cars are shallow or that they're materialistic, but driving a fast car is fucking fun for me. The day I get it, the first place I'm going is your fucking house. I'm just going to honk out front. Come on over. We'll play pool. I did it, man. I'm alive.

Vroom, vroom. Make sure you get a stick shift. If you don't, you'll fucking hate yourself. Tag, you know, I get a hamstring thing. Joe Rogan, let's talk about some things going on with you. Jesus Christ, your podcast is really big with the kids. The Joe Rogan Experience, everybody, of course, knows it. It's a three-hour show, roughly, depending on who you have on.

You do it, what, three to four times a week? Depends. This week it's only two. Sometimes I feel like I'm burnt out a little. I'll back off. Yeah. And then you've also got this show on the SyFy channel that is fantastic. It's called Joe Rogan... Questions Everything.

Blah, blah, blah. We did it all. All six episodes aired. That was a wild ride, man, because they picked it up. We brought it in to them. They pitched it, and then it was on picked it up we brought it into them they pitched it and then it was on the air a couple months later

right so we just they said look we'd like to have it on the air you know within a blank amount of time and we were like holy shit

they bought six episodes right away no pilot never happens yeah never happened so we just had to go guns blazing and it was brutal

because at the same time I was still doing my podcast I was still doing stand up and I was still doing the UFC and I still have a family. And the show requires traveling. A lot of traveling. It was a lot of traveling. I was on the road every week.

Every week I was traveling, flying to North Carolina to meet with some psychic expert or flying to Washington, D.C. to meet with some transhumanism guy who has, you know, some fucking laboratory or a woman who created a, she had a robot version of her own spouse that I had to communicate with. And it was like so much craziness flying to New York City for this conference and flying to Houston, Texas to meet with these people that have this strange skin disease. Did you, were you involved in post at all? Or you just said, I'm going to do it.

You guys. I was involved only in, you can't do, like I would say, this can't go. I can't do. But a few things got on that I didn't know. If I had more time, I would have liked to have been edited out. I would have liked certain things to have been changed. It was hard to do. There's a formula that a lot of those reality shows follow.

And they have cliffhangers at every commercial. And they also do a lot of like fucking sneaky editing, where it's disingenuous editing. And a little bit of that went on in the early episodes, but we had it pretty much cured by the time the third one went on. So the last three I was more happy with. So you'd sign off on them before they aired? Some of them. The first couple of them I didn't get a chance to. It was just too much work.

It was insane. We were looking for a big foot and fucking traveling the Pacific Northwest. It was so much travel and nuttiness. It was such a wild ride to get them done. But the ratings were great. The ratings were pretty good. I mean, I don't know how the rest were, but I saw in the first week when it came out, it was a monster. There was three, and it was better the second week.

There was three episodes that did really well, and then we got killed by Duck Dynasty and Shark Week. Those two got us. But that's the, you know, it's also a really new show, so a lot of people didn't know about it. And if they have the shows that they already go to, sometimes it's hard to get them to. Right. You know, people, when it's a show like Dexter or a show like whatever it is, you know, they get into it, and then that becomes their show. It takes a while to do that. Right. So it did well enough.

So I don't know if we're going to do it again. I don't. Here's the problem. Here's the number one problem. It wasn't just the amount of work. The real problem was how many subjects are there for real and the real problem besides that is the the mystery subjects like ufos or bigfoot the reality is once you get down to brass tacks you're dealing with a bunch of bullshit artists and so i would be out there in the woods or you

know talking to these people who claim to be encountering UFOs on a daily basis and I'd be like oh you're a fucking liar like you're a liar I flew all the way out here there was one time when we went to Utah and me and Duncan you know flew in and drove two hours and then within five minutes of talking to this guy he tells me that he saw, he smells like gin, he tells me he saw Bigfoot. He saw Bigfoot the first time he ever went looking. He learned some calls that he saw on a TV show,

and Bigfoot came immediately. He saw a bulletproof wolf that appeared out of mist. There was a wormhole. The bulletproof wolf came out of this mist and appeared right in front of him, and he saw UFOs. This is in 5. And then he's smoking and then he throws his cigarette into the bushes. And I was like, what the fuck? So did you cut and run

or did you try to salvage it? How to salvage it. I mean, we're there. We have to film things. He claims that there's an area where there's very frequent UFO sightings. And this area is known as a hotbed for UFO activity. And I think there's actually... The interesting thing about doing this show is known as a hotbed for UFO activity. And I think there's actually, the interesting thing about doing this show is there were some real answers we got to some things.

Right. And I think with this one, although we didn't talk about it on the air because there was no proof, I think what they're dealing with is a phenomenon called ball lightning. And ball lightning is a real phenomenon where lightning sometimes exists

like a ball that flies through the air and can exist for like as much as three or four seconds just right in front of you just fly like three or four seconds a long fucking time they've seen them on airplanes where they've appeared gone through the airplane and shot down the aisle like this has been reported it's never been filmed yeah but enough eyewitnesses have stated it that scientists believe it to be true. And it's a very strange phenomenon, this ball lightning. But if you were in this area, which is known to have a lot of geological activity, it's a really old area.

There's like petrified wood everywhere, strange mountains and shit like that. When these tectonic plates move, and sometimes they can these these bursts of ball lightning as well So there's the atmospheric ball lightning this there's there's orbs that can actually come out of the ground from From actual the release of energy from plates moving so there's real scientific phenomenon that can account for some of these UFO sightings I think that's probably what we're dealing with with the local residents being like so adamant so many of them that seems so normal We're talking about these orbs that they saw. Yeah, I think it's probably what we're dealing with, with the local residents being so adamant, so many of them that seem so normal. We're talking about these orbs that they saw. I think it's probably ball lightning. But then there's also bullshit artists.

And the bullshit artists were the real problem. Yeah. Yeah, that is the problem because it's like at a certain point, there's so many shows that take on, whether it's Mythbusters or, you know, the millions of shows on Discovery Channel, that you are going into some well-trod territory. So for you to go in, it's like, all right, well, you are a seeker. You know, your whole podcast is about asking people and not shitting on people, but finding out what the story is. So it's going to have that different angle to it.

But at the same time, your producers have to be good enough to vet out stuff that there's something there. They didn't really have a chance, unfortunately, because of the schedule, because of this crazy six-week schedule to try to film six-hour-long specials within a couple of months. It was really fucking hard to do. So they did their best. And also, I'm really good at spotting bullshit and some people are not it's it's some people just are not good you know they they listen to a guy the guy speaks well and they say well he sounds pretty believable and then i'll talk to him for three seconds and i'll go what happened oh what right what you have no emotional connection in

the words coming out of your mouth yes i do and like oh you're, oh, you're bullshitting me. No, I'm not. You know, and like, how did you not know this guy's bullshitting? They don't see it, like for whatever reason. Some people aren't that good at being honest with themselves, and the people that are not good at being honest with themselves are not good at recognizing bullshit. Well, that's why you've got cults. I mean, when I think, I did a show at the UCB the other night,

and it's across the street from that Dianetics Center. Yes. And I saw some of the Dianetics people walking down the street. And you think to yourself, these fucking people show up here. They might have been misguided enough to get talked into showing up, but they stay for a decade. A decade

of people telling them that they have to work 12, 14 hours a day, get paid no money, wear this kind of haircut, fucking, you know, they're completely dehumanized in every way, and they never smell the bullshit that whole fucking time. Yeah.

They want to belong. That's what it is. A lot of people are lonely, and they want to belong, and a lot of people love being a part of a group, whether it's Raiders fans or male feminists. I was just going to say, it's like sports. Yeah, it is. You know, and we's Raiders fans or male feminists. I was just going to say, it's like sports. Yeah, it is. You know, and we were talking about feminism earlier on your show. I think feminism has become a team.

You know, I think I've had communication with people where there was, you know, no resistance to their ideas whatsoever on my part, but they would, like, automatically insult males, insult people like me, insult, you know, like call me a meathead or a jock or someone. I'm like, look, I'm on your team more than you believe. I'm on, I'm on a team of equality and I'm on the team of nonviolence against women. I'm on the team of people being nice to people, period. Whether it's men to women or women to men or men to men or women to women, I'm on, I'm on team be nice. And I think it's important. And I think this idea that these groups, whether it's liberals or Republicans or whether it's hunters or whether

it's people who are vegans, they find a group of people that they all bond together with that in common and then they become a fucking team, and they oppose the rest. I've had arguments with vegans where, like, I know you're going to see my point one day, man. I know you're an open-minded guy. You're going to see my point one day. Animals die. They die, and they eat each other.

Do you understand that? We live in a strange world. You are temporary. I am temporary. You know, the unnecessary suffering of animals, it's not unnecessary. You get meat out of it. And not only that, it's as quick as fuck. You ever shoot an animal? I've shot animals. It's quick

as fuck. If you do diligence, you learn how to shoot a rifle, it takes five seconds. They die quickly. And if it doesn't, even if you have to shoot them twice, Jesus Christ, do you know what happens if you don't shoot them? They get eaten by coyotes. They all die that way. Every fucking deer dies by getting eaten by another animal.

That's how they die. Either they get hit by cars, in which case a lot of people die, or they freeze to death, which sucks a fat dick, or they get eaten by a predator, or a hunter comes along and kills them quicker than anything will. Right. Well, it's all about getting dug in on that. So you become a martyr for your side. You know, there's like you look at the Republican Party right now and what they're doing is shut down the government because of Obamacare. Now, that's no longer about finding the truth. That's about we created a situation where if we're not right about Obamacare, our party is fucked for 50 years because they put their whole bet in on Obamacare is a failure and will ruin the government. So at this point, now that it is legally and with

the vote of the people moving forward, they have to stop it because it might work. And if it does, that's the worst thing that can happen. So they're going to shut down the government to make a point. I don't understand Obamacare. I haven't looked into it. It's got major flaws. I have friends who are doctors who hate it. Right.

So I don't know who's right or who's wrong. I don't think it's right or wrong. I think it's like putting up a new government, putting up any new institution. There's going to be bumps in the road. You're going to learn on the job. You're going to make corrections. institution. There's going to be bumps in the road. You're going to learn on the job. You're going to make corrections. But the spirit of it being that we need some type of a socialized medicine. Whether or not this is the exact program, there is no exact answer before it goes into play. You won't know. But if one side is trying to ruin it, it has no chance of working.

I certainly think that as humans, we should be compassionate and we should try to help each other. And I think that one of the best ways we can help each other is to keep each other healthy and to help each other when something goes wrong and we get sick. And if we're using our money to fix the roads and we're using our money to hire teachers, we should use our money to pay for medical care. It's really simple. It should be a part of what taxes go towards. And I think it should be. I don't think it's up for debate. Oh my god, a guy's fucking vacuuming right in front of the door!

Jesus Christ! Shut him down! Every time I think my job is rough, I see some dude at midnight with eight fucking electrical cords on his arm and a vacuum and he's got a bunch of kids and then you're going to see that dude waiting for a bus.

How shitty are these soundproof doors? They're not good. They're fucking terrible. We're in the new studio. That's not soundproof at all. We heard people talking outside the door. And why windows? Why does there need to be windows in a recording booth?

Just make sure you're not fucking in here. Right. You could be in here fucking up a storm, Greg Fitzsimmons. Well, too bad these windows are here. Yeah, the Obamacare thing, I think the idea of universal health care is a great idea. And as long as you could also choose and get a really great doctor if you can afford it, as long as the ideas of competition still exist.

I think competition makes people really good at it. Someone who gets compensated well for something makes someone the best at it. And if you have the cash to pay for the best brain surgeon, I think that should be an option. It should be possible. Well, the crazy thing now is that there's going to be more and more forks in the road where somebody will be able to afford living and some will not. not. No matter how much Obamacare kicks in, there's always going to be a privatized version of it where you can put up a half a million dollars and cure something. Yeah. There is going to be that issue, right? There's always going to be the issue of people having more, people having access to something that other people can have access to, and should they be able to? Right. You know, that's where...

Crazy big question. Well, it becomes even bigger, actually, with the subject of transhumanism. Because one of the things that I learned in doing this show is that we went to this Global Future 2045 initiative, this conference rather, and what they're working on is a bunch of different technologies that are going to allow people to live a substantial amount of time, maybe thousands of years. What they're saying is the person who's alive today will be the first person who lives to be 300 years old. Now? Today?

People that are alive right now will be the first people within their lifetimes, perhaps within our lifetimes, there will be technology that not just halts the aging process, but actually reverses it. Gives you young skin, reverses brain damage. They're working on reversing damage to neural tissue. They're working on being able to create, they have these artificial blood cells that are the same size as a blood cell, and they're going to allow you to hold your breath underwater for four hours. That's awesome. This is within our lifetime.

That's awesome. This is within a decade, by the way. This is Ray Kurzweil, too. There's not crazy people saying this. He's the guy who, author of The Age of Spiritual Machines, and he's the subject of that documentary, Transcendent Man. And, you know, he was telling me that, like, this is within 10 years, they're going to have these blood years, they're going to have these

blood cells, they're going to inject them into your system, and they will be so efficient at processing oxygen, you'll be able to take a deep breath and go to the bottom of a pool for four hours. He said, it's coming. And he said, the real issue is going to be the use of them in athletics and that regular athletes, it's going to be silly to have regular bodies. And because injuries, a big part of being an athlete is managing your injuries, and there won't be injuries anymore. And recovery. You'll just play.

How hard can you train and how much willpower do you have to get up in the morning and train when you're tired and sore and force your body to get into shape? Right. You won't have to. You don't have to fucking get an injection. You'll fly over the moon. Yeah, it's amazing when you think about it. And then what we're waiting for is,

I guess there's always been population controls in place, whether, you know, pestilence, war, what have you. And now we've gotten to a point where there's all these things that are enabling life to continue and grow. It only leaves global warming. This is going to be the big correction. Actually, that's where it gets weird because that's not what they're saying. The trend amongst the people who are actually paying attention to the statistics as far as

the elevation of society and what happens when societies get elevated into first world societies. One of the first things that happens is people start having more important careers. And in having more important careers, they have less children. They have less children. There's far more children in less developed areas like India, like areas where there's extreme poverty. They have more kids. And they also have more kids because they need someone to take over the family, to take care of the family, take care of the family name. And that's a huge, huge issue with them. What they're seeing is in trends where once economically deprived areas are becoming more successful,

they have less kids. So in fact, the worry is that we are going to have a low population problem and not an overpopulation problem within the next 100 years in developed areas. In developed areas. But the real question is how long before the undeveloped areas or the third world areas become developed and the trend is pushing towards that to happen. If you look, there's places that never had cell phone signals before and you see these incredibly poor people and they're all having cell phones. Most of the population has cell phones now.

But that doesn't make them develop because there's no work. But it's a trend. Right. And it's also a trend that in these areas, industry starts moving in, and they start taking advantage of the workforce and this use of unskilled labor. Look, if you call customer service for Dell, you get fucking India. And the idea is that this, even though it's impoverished and bad now, that this trend will continue and that these areas, if taken care of correctly, will become more developed and hence the population will drop. I'm not sure if I understand or agree with it, but what I do know is the main guys that are following the trends of overpopulation actually say that this is an issue in developed areas. Interesting.

Yeah. But do you believe that there will be like a West Nile virus or avian flu or even an AIDS that will significantly take a toll on the population of the world? We actually did an episode on that. And we actually went to a level four lab in Galveston, Texas that had Ebola. They had hemorrhagic viruses. They had these four-foot-thick concrete walls, bulletproof glass. We had to go through all these jumps and loops, security clearances. We had to wear suits.

The whole deal. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was pretty intense stuff. I actually didn't wear the suit because I didn't want to even deal with it. To go into a specific area, they put this vacuum-sealed thing on. I'm like, nope. You can show me people doing it. I don't need to do that. I'm not going to do a stunt for a TV show.

But we did have to go through all these various protocols and not go into certain areas and not touch certain things. And they showed us how they clean the air. And they said that these are the people that are in charge, is that the real worry is not nuclear energy. The real worry is not terrorism. The real worry is biology. The real worry is something like the Spanish flu that comes along some new thing. There's something called MERS right now, M-E-R-S. It kills 50% of the people who get it. And right now it's limited to the Middle East. Is it airborne?

No, I don't believe it is. I don't know how it's transferred. We should probably Google that. It's called MERS. But when we were talking to disease experts, infectious disease experts, like this is a serious fucking disease. And if this disease somehow or another starts spreading in mass like the way the flu does, you could have in Manhattan, you could have 8 million people dead.

Like if this hits Tokyo, you could have 4 million people dead. Middle Eastern Respiratory Syndrome. And they say that that would be in the province of Al-Hassa in eastern Saudi Arabia. And 58 deaths have occurred, acquired by person-to-person transmission in intensive care units. That's where it's spread. So stay out of the hospital if you get sick. By the way, that's another place where a lot of people are catching incurable diseases like MRSA.

Right. Medicine-resistant staph infections. Right, staph infections. They're getting staph infections they can't cure, and they're getting them in hospitals. It's incredible. Now, staph infections, that's the biggest thing. And as you start to see emergency rooms,

they're going to spring up all over the place now because of Obamacare. They're not going to be as sterile. MRSA's going to be everywhere. 30,000 fucking people a year die from that, from medicine-resistant staph infections. Yeah. It's incredible.

And once it spreads, it's like, did you see that movie where it spread around the world very quickly? What the fuck was it called? World War Z? No, before that. Outbreak? Yeah.

That was fucking crazy. Because it was all, none of it was a stretch. None of it seemed like, nah, that'll never happen. It just hasn't happened yet. In the history of the world, in the history of biology, the 1918 Spanish flu, that's nothing. That's just a blank ago. And it killed one out of five people in Europe.

And it killed mostly healthy people. It's really interesting. It was more devastating to people that had a powerful immune system. If your immune system was healthy, you were more likely to die from it. But didn't, it was the Spanish flu, but didn't we send it over there? Yes. Well, they call it the Spanish flu, but it actually originated, the first known case of it was in a military base in Kansas. Right.

Virginia? Virginia. It might have been Virginia. I think it's Virginia. But that was military base in Kansas. Right. Virginia? Virginia. Might have been Virginia. I think it's Virginia. But that was the first known case. And it started affecting soldiers and it started killing these young healthy soldiers. And they're like, this is crazy. These guys were healthy and then a week later

they're fucking dead. We've never seen anything like this before. That shows you how good the PR machine is in the U.S. Call the Spanish flow. Blame the Spics. The Spics did it. They're taking our jobs. They're taking our jobs and they're killing our young men. There's, yeah, there's a lot of, if you ever go to Kansas City, there's a World War I museum there that's incredible.

It's like the war that I didn't know anything about until I went to that museum. What they were talking about with this transhumanism thing is that with people with a lot of money, that's going to be a real issue, that they're going to be able to live forever and the people that are poor are going to be able to die off and then what happens then you know what happens when you've been alive for a fucking thousand years and you're accumulating resources for a thousand years what shot does a baby have of getting a free steak in this world a young person who grows up and like you've rigged the entire system over the course of your influence of a thousand years of accumulating gold nuggets and fucking lobbyists. I mean, what power and influence are you going to have?

It's going to be pretty fucking substantial. You think about like the Rothschilds and the bankers of today. Because they essentially have always existed as if they were one human life. Exactly. They just pass it on quietly and secretly. Inside the family. And, you know, people have trust funds. And I have a friend who has his wife's friend is this fucking really, really, really wealthy guy.

His family is this incredibly wealthy. They own just a gigantic. I don't want to say the name, they own this gigantic company. And so this guy, his whole life has grown up with millions and millions of dollars. His family's multi-billionaires. And this guy has no ambition. He is a 45-year-old fucking loser. He's a loser, man. Every penny his parents give him, he tries to invest in something, loses everything. He's lost millions of dollars in investments, gets into the real estate and starts buying real estate right in 2007, buys it at the top of the market, loses everything. I mean, this is like what this guy does.

He went through. Not only did he have a trust fund, but he had a backup trust fund. He blew through both of those and now he has a job. And of course the job is within the family. Dude, I am taking my kid's college fund and buying a Challenger tomorrow. That's all I need is. Now, and I really think about that with, you know, we were never supposed to pass down wealth and this, there was a reaction to that kind of european dynasty when we started the constitution it was like you there was supposed to be a high death tax yeah it's called an estate tax now they call it a death tax because it makes everybody think like it's going to happen to them

no it's happening to that little fraction of people that can keep you down by just just serendipit surre you know, keeping the there. They're unchallenged. If you here's the thing. I'm fucking bumbling because I get really upset about this. If you really think that your genes are so special that you deserve billions of dollars, let your kid go out into the workplace on an even playing field. He should come home with tons of money. Right. Isn't he special? Isn't he related to you? Then why does he get the lottery twice? You're born into a family that has billions.

You get the best education, nannies, vacations, whatever. Why do you then hit the lottery again when you turn 21 and get a fucking trust fund? There's a good point to that. And this guy, when he talks about it, he's pretty open. And he said, whatever you do, never give your sons money. It goes because it kills all their ambition. And he's a very unhappy person. He was very wealthy. It's all normal now. I mean, he has a regular job within the company. And I'm sure he probably makes six figures. But you're talking about a guy who had

this house on the beach in Malibu. I mean was on broad beach you know which is the what they call billionaire beach and he had you know 200 feet of fucking sand beach in front of him and this castle overlooking the beautiful pacific ocean lost that lost everything can't keep it together he's got nothing he's not a mo money mo problems he's not a man if he if you were on a ship with him and the ship hit an island, he'd be the first guy that'd be a problem. He's got no character. He's just never had to develop. When you think about who you are and I think about the struggles that I had to go through in life to become successful and to be at a point where I can buy things like a nice car and not have to worry about stuff or have a nice house,

how did that happen? Well, it happened because I failed a lot. I went through and I had no money and I had no backup plan. I had no net. There was no way that anybody was going to bail me out of it. There was no money in my family. So I had to develop the character to get things done. And if you take away a kid's fear of failure, you take away that safety net. You take away their opportunity

to develop character. And it's kind of fucked up that we want to save our kids from danger and we want to protect them from adversity. But that's the only thing that makes you like understand who you are as a person. You have to go through difficult shit to kind of figure out like what's bad about getting dumped? What's bad about getting fired? What's bad about losing your car, getting it repossessed? What's bad about not being able to eat? What's bad about- Yeah. What's bad about seeing your friends all have something that you don't have? And that's the thing I struggle with my kids kids is i i want to give them like i just got the new iphone i gave my son the other one and i'm like look at this kid

walking around with this fucking phone and he gets pretty much it's hard to not give them what they want because christmas comes their birthday comes you buy them a fucking playstation 3 or whatever but i don't know that they've ever really wanted something that they didn't get. And we don't spoil them. But what kids want is just sort of like much more accessible than it used to be. It doesn't cost, it costs a hundred bucks or 200 bucks to get your kids something. And they're kind of happy, but they're also not, I don't know, I don't find my kids like, they seem satisfied in a bad way oh yeah i know it's too satisfied they don't seem worried they should be worried a little bit worried we should still be worried i said

in a public school that's the best thing i ever did yeah good public school but they're around kids that are coming from poor homes is that good why is? Because to me, it's like I went to private school for part of my education and public school for most of it. And when I was in the private school, I felt very, I didn't feel like it was real. I didn't feel like I was growing in a sense of like socially in any way. I felt like I was judged

and I felt like I couldn't be special in that environment. And in public school, I felt like I could be one of in that environment. And in public school, I felt like I could be one of the smarter kids. It was tougher to make sports teams. It was, you know, some of my best friends lived in, you know, one bedroom apartments with their mothers with no dad. And to me, it just made me really appreciate what I had. And it made me pick up some of their work ethic. I think like my kids are going to school. They went to a Spanish immersion program. So a lot of their friends are, you know, Latino speaking homes. A lot of them are undocumented workers, their parents, their parents want

their kids to do to do well much more than white kids do. There's going to be an ascension between these two generations like there won't be for kids in private school. And I want my kids to be a part of that trajectory. That's a really good way of looking at it. The only thing that I worry about is the lack of motivation of the actual teachers themselves and the lack of compensation. I think we've got a real problem in this fucking country where we don't take education seriously as far as like funding it and paying teachers and treating the job of taking care of your children and educating them like this fucking huge honor that it should be. It should be a big goddamn deal.

And for a lot of them, it's babysitting. But in a lot of public schools, if you go to charter schools, there's a philosophy like there is with private schools where the teachers are on board. They're motivated. They're excited about this. You know, different charters. What is a charter school? What do you mean by charter school? A charter means that it's a public school.

It's accredited by the public school system, but they come up with their own MO, their own philosophy, whether it's. Where do you find those? You can. Got to move somewhere. Every neighborhood has them. They actually have services that will help you. My friend just went through this service that helped their kids find charter schools that would be neighborhood has them. They actually have services that will help you. My friend just went through this service that helped their kids find charter schools that would be suited for them. Whether your kid's more creative, artistic, or mathematical, you can find charter schools that fit your kid's personality.

But they're free, but the teachers are there because they want to be a part of this. Green Dot schools are all charter schools, and there are ways that you can turn inner city test scores around from the lowest in the state to some of the highest scoring ones in the state without money, with the same teaching pool, but attracting the teachers that are more into Waldorf philosophy, which is non-media and tactile. And my kid's school is a charter school, and it's a Spanish- it's actually dual-language immersion. So the Spanish kids are learning English

as the English kids are learning Spanish at the same time. And so the teachers they're getting are actually really, really, you know, they're dynamic, excited teachers. That's great. I just wish they were paid more. It drives me nuts that it's not a huge position. Right. It's not like being a doctor. Right. You know, I mean, it should be just like being a fucking doctor. And that's a pragmatic position to take. I mean, if you want to be fiscally responsible, we are a service based economy and our kids are not learning skills that will let them be, you know, be educators and develop the next

new software and be able to go into other countries with knowledge. We have no manufacturing and we're, you know, breeding kids like they're going to work in a fucking steel mill. Yeah, they took the manufacturing right out from under America. And the really fascinating thing about it is, it's just, if you wanted to really promote a stronger America, which is what everybody always talks about, the first thing you would do is make less losers. Isn't the best resource human beings? And that's the resource that's cultivated the least. The resources cultivated

the least is young people. And young people have massive amounts of potential. They can grow up to be huge winners, or they can grow up to be huge winners or they can grow up to be a fucking cultural liability, a societal liability. And we don't make that distinction. We don't say, well, here's our potential. Our potential is our young people. Let's throw all our money in our potential

and within 20 years or less, we'll have a fucking amazing new generation of human beings that are succeeding and figuring out how to solve all of America's problems. No. No, you get old cunts who just hang on to their money and give it to their fucking kids and try to spend as little in taxes as possible. That's why you have things like the NFL, which is fucking tax-free.

The NFL is tax-free. All the religions, tax-free. Scientology, tax-free. Scientology, tax-free. Catholic Church, tax-free. College universities. Yeah. You know, there's a fucking joke right there. You got a bunch of, most major universities,

their board is made up of guys that sit on the boards of Procter & Gamble, and they come in and they are teaching middle management. They don't want kids to break out. And they don't want philosophers that are going to buck the system. They want people to come out and keep the status quo. So the only way you, like I would love for my kid to just take a couple years and go travel. You know, just read, travel, challenge, experience. Open your mind.

Then figure out what you want to do when you go to college but um well at this show that we all got started on this because this show that you're uh that you're involved in is it's got to come back this is fucking crazy if you can handle doing six more seasons then i think it's up to the people that love the show to find the stories and send them to you oh i don't know if i want i have to figure out if i want to but honestly it's bittersweet when i enjoyed i enjoyed doing it in some ways, but in other ways, I enjoyed not doing it more. Like right now, I enjoy this time more than anything. I really appreciate the life that I've figured out

how to put together. And doing stand-up and doing podcasting and doing the UFC is a lot of shit. And when I added that show to it, I got some anxiety. I really got a little bit of, I was kind of freaking out a little bit at certain times. It was just so much work. It was so overwhelming.

It was so much stress. I'm just coming out of it. I just did six weeks on a TV show. TV shows are, look, I'm happy to have it. We're not complaining, folks. Yeah, just as a reality. It's a reality of the human body and the human mind cycling through all that information and all that work and time. and the human mind cycling through all that information and all that work and time.

And if you have the choice in your life to put yourself under that kind of pressure nonstop, there's no break from it. You're thinking about it all the time. You're traveling. You're depriving your family of time with them. So it just becomes like you can do your podcast on your own terms when you want. You sell your own ads. There's nobody in between you and doing it. Stand-up is

very similar. And then once you get into business, no matter how great the network is or the producers you're working with, there's just a lot of people that you're pleasing and accountable to. That was a real issue. There was a real issue with communicating with people that have ideas about how they wanted things to be that were contrary to the ideas that I had. Yeah. And having these discussions, mind-numbing discussions, like why? Why are we doing it? Why is this spooky music playing?

Why are we cutting to commercial pretending that something happened? Why is this going on? And those conversations hurt my fucking brain. And they have this way of doing things that a lot of these people that produce and edit these shows, that they're so used to doing it that way they think that is the way you do it every commercial you have to tease these people so they tune into the you know and my answer is like they stay if they like it they don't want to stay fuck it like let them change the channel there's 300 million fucking people in this country

are you really like trying to cling on to every person because in in doing so you become a needy fuck and you create a show that sucks and you create a show that's just like every other fucking thing that's mediocre and it doesn't have to be that way it doesn't make me change i don't fucking watch a ghost show and when they go what was that and they cut to commercial i go man i have to find out what that was. It could be the first time they ever caught a ghost on TV. First time ever. Yeah. But I got to sit through this. No, and it's the shows that do stand out

and that become historically great shows. They completely change. Look at Breaking Bad. They fucking show you at the beginning of the season how the season's going to end, and then you catch up to that. Yeah. Or, you know, you watch All in the Family

and you go, we can't talk about these topics. Right. We can't have an episode with no laughs in it. Yes, you can. Sure you can. You can on a sitcom

like All in the Family. They had an episode that was incredibly depressing. Right. Gloria gets raped. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You can do anything as long as you do it well. And with an artistic vision. Yes. You have to have a vision. You have to have confidence. Yeah, and- That's what I like about HBO, having worked on HBO shows a little bit, is they go, here's the keys, lock up when you're done, we'll let you know if we're going to do another season. That's beautiful.

But they don't micromanage. They have confidence in you, or they wouldn't have picked you well in all fairness about sci-fi they were great and they did by the end of the season let me pretty much do the show i wanted to do so by the end of it when we started talking about like when we got down to like the episode on psychics we did an episode on psychics it was basically they gave us no notes it was great by the time we got to like the sixth episode it was pretty pretty smooth. We dealt with some stuff where we had some real answers. But the problem is how many of those fucking things are out there?

Right. How many ghosts? Maybe ghosts are real. It's possible that ghosts are real. But most likely you're going to talk to a bunch of liars. Also, to call a ghost an entity when really it's just a ghost is a description of something that exists in our space, but maybe not in our vibration. Maybe it's a different time

that happens to be in this space, but I mean, it's not a thing. It's like a, it's an energy. Have you ever had a ghost experience? Yes. Really? Yeah, I did a Ouija board one time and it freaked me the fuck out.

You did it with another person? I did it in college with a few people. They were all bullshitting. Everybody was moving it around. No, no, no. I had my hands on it and it was spelling shit. You were the only one with your hands on it.

Right. Oh my God. Yeah, no, it freaked me the fuck out. What was it saying to you? I can't remember, but it was a specific... Suck my cock. It said suck my cock and the weird thing was What was it saying to you? I can't remember, but it said suck my cock.

And the weird thing was there was this cock, this ghost cock in my mouth. And you would think with a ghost cock. It was cold like an icicle. It was cold instead of hot. And you think how much could it cop, right? It's a ghost cock. This thing kept coming and coming. That's the noise it made.

And wait, where were you this night? I was in another dimension. You were talking about car. It was Halloween. It was Halloween. God damn it. Yeah. It's,

um, it's, it's hard to imagine like, uh, how limited we, we are in our thinking in terms of like having to call it a ghost or a, anything. It's just like what what i feel like what we understand is an accident it's little shit we we got a glimpse in the fucking

mirror at a naked chick getting out of the shower that's that's our understanding of life that's why my whole thing about atheists and i've been talking about the show lately uh and i shouldn't use even use the word atheist because it's a it's a it's because it's a broad stroke to say people that don't believe that there can be a God whatsoever. I'm with you that there's no religion, but I'm not with you that you understand so much about the universe that you can categorically deny that God exists. God meaning somebody who knows way the fuck more than you that set shit up and is keeping it going. It might not even be somebody. I mean, it might be the energy of the universe itself,

the mind of the universe itself. The real problem that I have with atheists is the ones who haven't done psychedelic drugs. Because anyone who says that they're an atheist, have you gone on a real mushroom trip? Have you ever done DMT? If you've never smoked DMT and you say you're an atheist, try smoking DMT.

Try taking ayahuasca and connecting to the spirit world. It sounds like bullshit. No, most religions involve some type of hallucinogenics. Not only that, the origins of most religions probably came from psychedelics. In fact, John Marco Allegro, a guy who was a scholar who was the head decipherer of the Dead Sea Scrolls, the oldest known version of the Bible, about a thousand years, he wrote a book called The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross. And that book was based on his deciphering of the Dead Sea Scrolls

and his interpretations of it was of the Dead Sea Scrolls and his interpretations of it was that the entire Christian religion was a massive misunderstanding. And what is originally about was psychedelic drugs and fertility rituals, and that they hid all this stuff, especially the, the properties of these psychedelic mushrooms. They hid them when they were conquered by the Romans. They hid them in parables. They hid them in stories. And that a lot of the stories of Adam and Eve and the magic apple and various different stories of religions like Moses and the burning bush. Even modern day religious scholars now believe that the Moses burning bush story was based on him taking psychedelic drugs. Yeah.

And the reason why it's a burning bush is because the acacia bush, which is incredibly common in that area, is rich in DMT. It's a very high content DMT plant. And burning is how you get the fucking DMT out of it. You smoke it. So you extract it from the bush. You smoke it. And you extract it from the bush, you smoke it, and then you see God. And then God gives you these sets of rules how you should live your life.

Damn. People who say they've never had psychedelic trips, like Dawkins is a famous atheist who's never had a psychedelic experience. And I'm like, you know, and he's expressed interest in trying LSD under a clinically safe situation. But psychedelic drugs, especially like

real powerful ones like dimethyltryptamine, offer you a view of reality that is, it's not possible to achieve without them. And when you get that view of reality, it's so much more complex and powerful and moving than regular reality itself that it throws into question everything that you've come to accept as fact about reality, fact about the world. And you realize that there is some sort of unspoken connectivity to everything, that every action has a reaction, that everything you do really does affect everything around you and that you can, in fact, almost orchestrate your reality to a certain extent by your thoughts and your actions and your will and your feeling about things and how you behave. And that is God. I mean, that experience that you have is literally the motivating factor to be good,

the motivating influence that some people need and have experienced that leads them to be a better person, and leads them to live a life that is more moral, more loving, more kind, more God-like. It sounds like the word God is a tricky one because it sounds like bullshit. God is, to me, like, we are so socialized to think about, like, we talk about the difference between me and you and how fearful I am about needing to have security and all this stuff. And if you take that away, there's God. If you take away all your fears, and in other words, if you trip on something, for lack of a better word, it gets rid of a lot of the context of life. And what's left is this communion with getting up against the universe in a way that's much more pure, where you're not wasting your cerebral energy with worry or fear or what am I supposed to do tomorrow or I shouldn't be

fucked up right now. This is like my father was. It's all these different dynamics come in. And I think that drinking in a small way addresses this like with the Catholics. you know, wine, have some wine. It maybe lessens your inhibitions and opens you up a little bit to what would be, you know, a more, you know, deep understanding of spirituality. Yeah, I think it also unites people by loosening their inhibitions. And there's benefits to alcohol socially, where it allows people to have fun and laugh with some. You know, some people get angry. I have people that I know that, you know, would have like a drink or two drinks. And all of a sudden they would get these weird angry people.

Jacqueline Hyde. Yeah, that's fucking real, man. I didn't think that was real until I met some people in L.A. and saw it and saw that anger come over them as a couple of drinks. Like, he's never angry. Like, why is he angry? Right. There's a torture inside them that they hold back until they get those couple of drinks. And then that tortured person takes over the fucking wheel and starts driving the bus.

Yeah. And it gets real fucking strange. Yeah. Comedians, I've seen angry comedians. I never would have thought they were angry. And then they have a couple of drinks and they just want to fight people, insult people. And it's like, it's strange. Well, it seems like a lot of resentment comes out. Yes.

People that push down a lot of resentment. It all comes out. Oh, you think you're so. All the things that they were afraid to say before. And it's like. There's a lot of people like that, man. Yeah. There's a lot of people that have resentment.

I can't stand I mean maybe because I haven't drank in so long and because my father was an alcoholic I have bad associations with people being drunk

and being in my fucking space and so now it's like I have friends that are good drunks but even good drunks I don't have that much tolerance for

because I want to have a fucking conversation like this I don't want to I don't want to have to rise to your level or sink to your level. Because when you're drinking, you set the tone.

Everyone else is supposed to fucking fall in line. Otherwise, you go like, oh, what? Oh, I'm ridiculous. I'm drunk. You can't be. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Those people are the worst. That is the worst.

Those, oh, what? You're judging me because I'm drunk? Right. Because you're sober? Right. You're so special? You're so good? Maybe you're afraid.

What are you afraid of? Come on, have a drink with me. Have a drink with me. Those people are the worst. That's the worst. Don't you want to be like me? Have a drink with me. Barf.

Oh. Ugh. I'd love to, though. I'd love to drink again. It's the best, the best indication that we are a really fucking flawed society is that the worst drug, the drug that

does not give you introspective thinking, the drug that doesn't make you paranoid, doesn't make you more sensitive. Dumbs you down. It's everywhere. It's in every fucking restaurant. They have it in liquor stores. They have it in drug stores, CVS. Every fucking supermarket has whiskey and wine and beer.

Everywhere you go to eat. Restaurants. Everywhere you go. Right. Every fucking sports stadium. There's a movie theater near my house. It's amazing. They have real food.

And they have these huge seats. It's called the Cineopolis. Have you ever been to one of those? No. They're a chain. They're all over LA. I think they're maybe nationwide. I think there's one in Marina Del Rey now.

Yes, exactly. And it's amazing. It reclines. You get this amazing seat. You order food and they bring you wine. You can have beer. I mean, it's incredible. Yeah.

It's everywhere. Booze is everywhere. And it's the worst. It's the worst thing for you physically. And it's the thing that makes you fall into line the easiest. Look at football games. Beer. Drink beer. Watch this stupid fucking game.

Woo! Oh. Speaking of football, do you bet? I don't. I used to gamble on fights, but now I find it inappropriate that I commentate and still gamble on them. Oh, yeah. That could get you into trouble, huh? I don't think it can because it can affect the outcome.

But if I was betting on a fight and then someone thought my commentary was particularly biased, which I have been accused of before, if I prefer a certain style of fighting or I think a certain style is more intelligent or approach is more intelligent or I feel like this guy's doing better than that guy and then someone at home goes, you didn't even fucking talk about the other guy. You're biased. Everybody has a different point of view on fights, so it's very tricky to not be biased.

Or to not appear biased or give everybody equal play. So if they found out that I was, if they thought I was biased and I was betting on that fighter that I was biased towards, that could be a real issue. It could make your life stressful to have to even deal with that. Yeah. It doesn't make any sense. But I give my friends advice.

When my friends come to Vegas to fights, I'll give them the betting line and I'll say, I think this is a good bet and this is a good bet and this is a good underdog. Take that. Right. Because I don't watch much sports. I don't watch a lot of football, but I love the math of it. I love to like betting pools, fantasy football, which I just got into this year because this is a thing called FanDuel.com. Have you heard of it?

No. What is that? It's amazing. What is it? It lets me get involved with football. It's a fantasy football league where you can bet cash online. Ooh, I like that. But what I do is I do it with my son, and I got my brother-in-law and my cousin. We all started a pool together, and then you go on. That's awesome.

There's no question that makes it more fun to watch, right? I wouldn't watch it otherwise. I mean, the thing is people think they're good at it, but try FanDuel because you can find out. And every week, the best part is you start from scratch. You can build a whole new team. FanDuel. FanDuel.

F-A-N-D-U-E-L dot com. Try it because to me, if you if you have to watch sports, maybe you're a woman that's listening. You got to watch sports. Fucking bet and you'll give a shit for a change. Even five bucks. You can actually bet five bucks on this, but at the same time, you can have $200 match.

If you want to bet $200, FanDuel will match your first $200 if you sign up using the code Greg. FanDuel.com slash, or you're putting the code Greg, top right-hand corner. Do you know about the controversy about the Floyd Mayweather fight?

No. Okay, Floyd Mayweather fought Canelo Alvarez and fucking tooled him. It was a brilliant boxing display. Right. Won every round. I mean, maybe he didn't win a couple of rounds here or there where Canelo hit him more to the body, but for the most part, in my opinion, won basically every round.

Right. At least close to every round. Everyone scored Floyd Mayweather way ahead except one of the judges who made it a draw. And then it turns out that this judge, who's a woman, also judged another very controversial fight between Tim Bradley and Manny Pacquiao. Where Tim Bradley beat Manny Pacquiao in a fight where nobody thought Tim Bradley won. But she scored it for Tim Bradley in that fight, and she scored this fight a draw. Well, the reason why that's interesting is because judges can have a huge impact on bets. And all it takes is one judge to come along that's willing to throw her reputation

down the toilet for X amount of money, I don't know how much money you could pay them, and in doing so, if she makes that a draw, that means it's a split decision, or a majority decision. That means everybody that paid, you bet, $10,000 to win $1,000, that Floyd Mayweather's gonna win a unanimous decision. You lose now. You lose that bet. And there's a lot of fucking money on Floyd Mayweather winning a unanimous decision. Because most people who are smart.

So the bookies win when you're on the line. That's when they make their money. Well, yeah. Not just the bookies, but the casinos. The casinos that put these weird bets out there. Like, you know, bets that it goes the distance. Bet that it's over in the first round. Bet that it's a unanimous decision.

That's a weird bet. Underovers. Not just a decision, because Floyd won, but unanimous decision. Right. And that's a big bet. How did she get to judge again if she'd already blown one? She's a fucking corrupt cunt. Really?

Most likely. If I had to guess, I had to guess because she resigned from boxing. She said she's going to step away. Thanks for everything. Take care. Meanwhile, she's in the Cayman Islands fucking counting thousands. Who knows what happened? So you think that if they track her banking records, you think some money is going to show up?

I would imagine. The governor's involved in investigating this. That's how bad it was. The governor of Nevada has stepped in to investigate how this fucking person could have judged this fight this way. It's that bad. The thing is, Floyd Mayweather boxed the shit out of Canelo Alvarez. Yeah.

I mean, it was brilliant. It was a brilliant display. And when they read the score, he had a big smile on his face. He knew he won. And they said, you know, 11 had a big smile on his face. He knew he won. And they said, you know, you know, 116, 116. He went, what? A draw. He went, what? Like you, it was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Isn't it like quantifiable? It's the number of punches, isn't it? That are landed? The number of punches were so far in Floyd Mayweather's camp that you would have to be fucking crazy to objectively

look at that fight and think that Canelo Alvarez won that fight. But that's what the score is. Isn't it literally the number of punches? It's the number of punches. It's also defensive movement, like controlling the ring. It's who gets to dictate the pace, who's more aggressive. There's a bunch of different factors, but punches landed is a big one. And what was the spread on the other cards?

The other one was like, he won by like several rounds. Yeah. Most people thought it was... So it wasn't even close on the other ones. No, no, it wasn't even close. I mean, most people thought, it was a 12-round fight, most people thought he won at least 8 rounds. At least 8 rounds. 8 rounds being nice. Being nice to Alvarez

that he won 4 rounds. And this fucking cunt called it a draw. Jesus. And then she quits. Eight rounds being nice. Being nice to Alvarez. Wow. That he won four rounds. And this fucking cunt called it a draw. Jesus. And then she quits. Take care, everybody. She's going to get death threats. She's got death threats like crazy coming at her. I mean, that's one of the things that's been discussed online is the amount of people that are furious because they bet.

If it's a 10-1 bet that Floyd Mayweather was going to win. If you came to me and you said, hey, Floyd Mayweather is fighting Canelo Alvarez, it's 10 to 1 that he wins a unanimous decision. I got $1,000. Do you think I should bet to win $100? I would go, fuck yeah. He's going to box the shit out of that kid. He's the best boxer maybe ever.

Really? Yeah, maybe ever. Wow. Yeah, as far as limiting the amount of damage his opponents do, what he's lacking is he has really small hands, and he breaks them a lot. His bone structure is not incredibly thick. He's not built like a Tyson or something like that.

And so he's had serious hand problems. He's broken his hands several times. But it seems like there haven't been any big challengers against him, have there? Canelo's a big challenge. He was a tough guy. He was killing everybody. He was undefeated coming into this fight. Mayweather is on another level technically. He's a tough guy. He was killing everybody. He was undefeated coming into this fight. Just Mayweather is on another level technically. Like his box, he's a skillful person.

He understands the art of being there and not being there. He understands tempo. He understands footwork and movement. He understands everything that the great boxers of the world throughout the last hundred years, whether it goes from Muhammad Ali, Joe Louis, all the great boxers have understood certain things about boxing. But in my opinion, he implements them better than anybody.

And he has this ability to shut down other fighters. Guys like, like, like, what the fuck's his name? Pacquiao? Knocked out Pacquiao. The guy that knocked out Pacquiao. Marquez. Juan Manuel Marquez knocked out Pacquiao with one punch in, like, the third of their three fights.

Just clipped him, knocked him unconscious. Floyd Mayweather boxed circles around Marquez. He made him look silly, like he never hit him once. Like, he just understands how to do that. He also trains harder than anybody ever did, right? Oh, fucking his work ethic is second to none. He talks a tremendous amount of shit too

and so he has a lot of people that buy the pay-per-views just to see him lose. Like he, the fight with Canelo Alvarez is the highest selling pay-per-view ever. 2.2 million buys.

That was his last one? Yeah. That's a huge amount. So he made $100 million from that fight. Wow. And the amount of money that's passed hands in betting was substantial.

So this woman scoring in a draw had a huge effect on betting. Well, here's where it has no effect at all. FanDuel.com. It's you and your friends if you want to. You can get in all kinds of different groups of betting. It's one week fantasy football, real cash. They're going to pay out, this sounds crazy, $135 million this year. That's amazing.

Yeah. There are immediate cash payouts, no upfront fees. How do they do that legally? Because there's, I looked it up online. You can't gamble online, but fantasy football leagues are carved out and are legal. That's what it said. I looked at it right on the FanDuel site. It should all be legal.

You can play one week. You can play every week. Come up with a new team each week. Check it out. Again, first 200 listeners to sign up will have their deposit matched up to $200. But you have to enter my code, Greg, when you join. That's right, FanDuel.com. Click on the top right corner microphone. Put in Greg. Sign up today. Now's right. Fanduel.com. Click on the top right corner microphone.

Put in Greg. Sign up today. Now, Joe. Now, Greg. Let's talk about some of these dates you have coming up. I always hate it when people say to me later, well, why didn't you fucking tell me you were performing at this place? You can't miss Joe Rogan if you're in California especially.

You like working in California. Well, since my show's done, I really felt rusty when I got off doing the show. And I was doing some sets that weren't going as good as I would like them to. So I really made a big commitment to do a lot of sets and start just really getting right back into it, diving in. So I booked everything. I booked to Bray Improv, Ontario Improv, Irvine Improv, Comedy Magic Club. And I just decided to just fucking just go crazy

Houston, Texas October 18th Irvine on the November 11th Yeah all of it's at JoeRogan.net Yeah and Manchester, England

what's that all about? I'm going to England I'm actually going to Germany for a medical procedure this blood spitting procedure that we're not allowed to do some stem cell shit

that we're not allowed to do in the United States for a disc issue that I've been having in my neck from jujitsu. And Peyton Manning went there and did it and fixed him. He had two neck surgeries. His career was basically over. Went and did this, healed him right up. So they take blood out, they spin it.

They take a massive amount of blood out, like a liter out of you. And then they have this process that they take this blood and the anti-inflammatory ability of this process, once they inject this treated blood back in your body, is magical. People have had like serious injuries, have them fixed. Like my friend Dana, Dana White, had Meniere's disease, which is like a serious fucking hearing issue. This is the guy who's the head of the UFC? Yeah. He had a serious ear issue where he had this massive ring in his ear. He would lose his equilibrium, get dizzy. It was all because of this infection, this inflammation in his ear. One injection, gone. He's had surgeries, he's had treatments. He's been dealing with it his whole life.

He had one injection of this, and it's gone. And the FDA won't approve it in this country? Not yet. They will eventually. That's incredible. It's all a relic of the Bush administration. Right. The resistance to doing stem cell research because of the far right, which is the stupidest fucking shit of all time.

Well, the craziest thing is it was based on because they used to have to get the stem cells from embryos, and now they don't have to. They can get it from a number of different ways, right? Yeah, exactly, exactly. And they also get it from your own body, which is what they're doing in Germany. It has nothing to do with an embryo. They're literally getting it from your body to heal your body. It's incredible stuff.

So you're like, fuck it, I'm doing a show while I go over there? Oh, yeah. Well, I decided because I'm going with Dana, I said we're going to go to Germany, and then he said, do you want to work the event in Manchester? It was a UFC in Manchester. I said, yeah. So then I just booked a couple gigs in Manchester.

Cool. Yeah. England is, I have a huge following in England, and I barely get there. I'm there so rarely. So I sold out two shows there like that. But the fucking crowds in England, I don't know if you've ever been over there. I was going to ask you.

How is it different? Awesome. Really? They're awesome. They're amazing. They're so good. They're so good. They're right up there with Canadian crowds, which are fucking incredible.

Right. I just did Toronto with Brian Callen and Tom Segura. We did the Sony Center, and then we did Second City. They're fucking amazing. America is filled with so many twats. Most of America is cool,

but all you need is one out of ten that are douchebags, and you're going to find that. Yeah, you probably don't get bachelorette parties in England as much. I mean, that's the downfall of American comedy is the bachelorette party. Comedy club. That doesn't happen at a theater as much as it happens at a club. But at a club, that's a big issue.

We're going to take her out to see Greg Fitzsimmons. It's a bachelorette party. Will you make fun of her? Excuse me. Excuse me. Here's her name. I wrote this down. Will you say this? You'll see her. You'll's her name. I wrote this down. Will you say

this? Yeah. You'll see her. You'll see her. She has a sash and a tiara and she's got a dick on her straw. And they'll bring you a bachelor party as well. They'll bring you a list of things that would embarrass the guy. Will you bring this up? Get the fuck out of here. You came to a comedy show. Pretend you go to the movies. If you went to a Harrison Ford movie, would you expect Harrison Ford to pause the movie and start talking about your friend?

No. It's not about your fucking friend. I remember when I was coming up, as a rule, I wouldn't do that shit. And then some guy, some fucking goomba comes up to me in one of the clubs in New York City. And he's like, yeah, it's a bachelor party. It's my buddy.

You know, I want you to say a couple things. And I'm just looking at him like, I'm not fucking saying it. Hands me a hundred bucks. And he goes, you know, to say his wife's a whore. It's my buddy. You know, I want you to say a couple things. And I'm just looking at him like, I'm not fucking saying it. He hands me $100, and he goes, you know, say his wife's a whore. I'm like, done. Pay for it, asshole. You want me to say something? What the fuck?

What'd you pay to get in? $100, his wife's a whore. Yes. Yes. I'm all over that shit. I had a bachelor party one time, and they started fucking yelling at the mother. bachelorette party one time and they they started fucking uh yelling at the mother the mother of the bride was heckling me to the point where the bride said mom shut the fuck up and then she got to fight with her mother and the whole crowd loved it because nobody likes a bachelorette party yeah

we don't like you you think that we like you because you're out and it's going to be fun and you you make guys feel like they're going to get laid. But do the numbers. There's eight of them. Do you think one of them is going to peel off and fuck you? Nobody's getting laid. Nobody's going to fuck you. No. No.

They're going home together. And then I was outside. You ever work Cleveland Hilarities? No. It's this club, but it's right on like one of the walk streets, you know, like the party walk streets. And I come out of the club and there's this chick sitting on the curb. Bachelorette party gone wrong. She's vomiting. the hair back the other ones are all concerned i pull out my video camera and i start recording it and one of these wildebeest comes at me big fucking girl no shoes on and she's screaming and i have to stop filming and they like

surround me and all of a sudden it's like here am. I'm the comedian everyone just saw in the club. And now I'm being chased down by jackals down the wall street. And this is the girl from the show. I don't know if she was in the show or not. I just knew she was throwing up and I was videotaping it. But did they know who you were? Did they recognize you from the show? No, no, no.

No idea. This was just a random girl. I was a middle-aged guy with a fucking receding hairline videotaping their drunk friend. And they came at me. And there was nothing I could do. I laughed at first, but then I couldn't really laugh because they were going to physically attack me. And people were watching, and it was kind of like an ashamed walk away. The last time I had a big bachelorette party at my show, they got kicked out.

It was in Austin at Cap City. Yeah. And it was fucking, it's her bachelorette party. She's getting married. And they wouldn't stop fucking screaming. They were yelling out at everything. And I just stopped it. I said, you've all got to leave.

I'm not going to joke with you. I can joke with you. You fucking can't handle it. You can't handle you guys being assholes. You listen to yourself. And then I said, you want to hear something? Do you really want to hear something? I go, this is the sound of 300 people who also paid to be here tell you you're a cunt. Ready? And I put the microphone out into the audience and people just went, cunt! I go, any questions?

And they paid the check and left? I kicked them out. I said, you guys got to go. I go, get out of here. Get out of here. And then they were pissed. Yeah, of course. After they left, they were pissed

as if 300 people didn't just scream cunt at them. Well, not only that, they always had to do this thing where they have outside in the front, they talk to the manager. They get kicked out of the room. They're like, no, we demand our main event. First of all, I was humiliated. I came here because I was a fan of Joe Rogan. Now I think he's a fucking asshole, a piece of shit.

And you know what else? He's not funny. It wasn't funny. It wasn't funny. And he's not funny. He couldn't handle that we were heckling. Yeah. He doesn't know how to handle it.

Yeah. I love if you think that I'm an asshole, that's great. But you're not allowed to also say that I wasn't funny. Because you were laughing before I called you a cunt. Well, they were a problem with the opening act too. I forget who it was. I think it was Duncan. They were a problem with him. And then when I got on stage, it escalated. And they were already telling me, the manager was like, we're probably going to have to kick these people out just to let you know they're heckling really bad, a bunch of drunk girls.

She says the idea of letting them in in a big party like that, it always becomes about them and their party more than it is about the show. 20 people together, they all know each other, they're all fucking hammered, they're all girls, they're wearing special hats. It becomes more about... The focus is on them.

And the thing is, comedy clubs should have one table in the back right corner, right near the exit where they seat bachelorette. You want to come? Great. Here's your fucking table. You make noise, but they seat them right in front of the stage where they can't get them out. You know Cap City? Yeah. They were one of the big tables right to the right.

Big, giant table. Where the whole audience can see them. Yeah. That was bad. That was the last time I had a big bachelorette party at one of my shows. But it's just, it's always the same thing. It's like, it's very rare that a big group of people will get together and have everybody drinks

and there's not one person that's an idiot in that group that causes it to be all about them. Right. Because they're normally the life of the party. Oh yeah. Not only that, they also feel like it's their obligation to do something wild. It's your last night out.

They want to rile this girl up and make it memorable. Give her an extra shot and make it better. Wait till Peggy gets drunk. She's going to heckle. I know it. Peggy's great. She was crying even after I got off stage. They're still in the front. They ruined our fucking night.

No responsibility whatsoever for heckling. Take no responsibility whatsoever for being kicked out. You're kicked out. 300 people called you a cunt. That's not an accident. 300 people showed up to have fun, to laugh, to be fucking silly. And you didn't fit that. You disrespected all those other people who paid to see a show.

Yeah. Who, I only go there once a year. So this was the show that they picked, and they got fucked by some dummy, some asshole who gives a shit about no one but themselves, decided to make it all about them. Decided they should be able to just yell out shit, make phone calls during the show. They're texting people. And it was just a disaster.

Yeah. It's almost like, you know, bachelorette parties should just be stopped because really bachelor parties are perfect for men. It's everything that we want to be. We want to be debaucherous and watch strippers and drink a lot and maybe get in a fight and fucking you may lose a guy, you keep going.

With bachelorette parties, it's not them. They see us do it and they think, we want that energy. We want that fucking raucous energy. But it's not them. And when push comes to shove, it peters out and it becomes annoying for everybody.

It's not some of them. It's some of them, though. I had a friend who was a male stripper and he used to work bachelor parties and he said, you'd be amazed

at how many brides-to-be sucked his dick. Shut up. Oh, yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, a lot. Wow.

Happens. They have a couple of drinks. He's got a nice body. The husband doesn't. He's dancing in front of their face He's got a nice body. The husband doesn't. He's dancing in front of their face. She starts rubbing his cock. Let me see it. Let me see it.

He pulls it out. He had a girl suck his dick in front of their friends. Wow. Yeah. You work in Jersey? Boston. There's a movie out with Matthew McConaughey that's fucking good. Magic Mike?

Did you see it? No. How could I? you see it? No. It's not like that. I didn't know what it was about. Oh, sure. And I got sucked into it. Failed strippers are all over the fucking previews. What did you think? Right. I didn't see the previews. I thought it was about magic.

It was like on cable and I watched with my wife. But yeah, I wouldn't recommend it, but he is fucking great. Joe Rogan, I want to get you out of here because there's too much to do. There's too much to do. You're coming up in, I gave you dates. Yeah, don't worry about all my dates. JoeRogan.net.

All right. And check me out this weekend. Sacramento Punchline, September 26th to the 28th. Also coming up the October 6th at the LA Podcast Festival in Santa Monica. Stress Factory in New Jersey. Also Philadelphia, San Francisco, Edmonton, Boston, all coming up in the next couple months. I also want to thank my sponsor. Once again, audible.com.

Go to audiblepodcast.com slash Greg. Go to fanduel.com and put Greg in in the top right corner. Get $200 in matching money for the first 200 people to sign up. And that'll do it. Thanks also to Catherine Lawson, our producer, Kevin Kraft, the engineer, and thank you guys for listening. God bless America.