Fitzdog Radio - Kevin Pollak - Episode 1118

Episode Date: November 26, 2025

From A Few Good Men, Grumpy Old Men and coming soon “A Few Few Grump Men” My dear friend Kevin Pollak joins me and as always hits it out of the park. Happy Thanksgiving!  Tempo is offering my listeners 60% OFF your first box! ⁠⁠⁠⁠http://TempoMeals.com/FITZDOG⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Kevin Pollak on Instagram ⁠⁠@kevinpollak123 Watch my special "You Know Me" on YouTube! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/FitzYouKnowMe⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@GREGFITZSHOW⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@GREGFITZSIMMONS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FITZDOG.COM⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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We'd love to talk, business. Hi, welcome to Fitzdog Radio for the next hour and 15 minutes or so. I'm going to be your host doing a pledge drive this month. Don't forget, Fitzdog Radio relies on listener supported. I'm kidding. That's what I should do. I'm going to do a fucking pledge. edge drive since I'm losing money on this podcast right now ad sales are a little light

meanwhile we got fucking Spotify I believe YouTube is also doing it they're running ads for ice there is nothing literally nothing I can think of that I'd be more opposed to than ads for ice running on my podcast and yet here we are I asked my ad agent to look into it. I don't know what's going on with that, but I keep getting messages from people. Yeah, that's what Fitzdog Radio is all about. It's about fun questions.

It's about finding out embarrassing things about people. It's about just a touch of sincerity mixed in. And then also rounding up the hardest working Americans and zip tying their children with, masks on and then deporting them without due process. That's really what the podcast is about. It's about trying to reach out to the guys that played varsity high school football and are now bouncers who work out a lot. It's all about attracting the guys that bullied you and make questionable decisions in the bedroom with women that they just met. I want the guys,

that you know have road rage in there I want guys to drive pickup trucks with four wheels in the back you know the extra set of wheels and tinted windows and wrap around sunglasses that go to

gun ranges that's what Fitzdog Radio is all about I'm trying to reach out to guys that also listen to nothing but MMA and who's the professor from Canada? Justin Peterson, Jordan Peterson. Yeah, me and Jordan Peterson. The hell? How bad do I need the money? I don't need the money.

To be perfectly honest, I've never gotten a check from Spotify. I don't know why Spotify is running ads on my podcast when they've never paid me to do so. It's insanity. Here's the business model for Spotify and podcasts. We and YouTube and Apple Podcasts, we book, produce, perform, edit, deliver content to them, which they air and charge you for and then don't pay us. And then on top of that, we'll throw us off the outside. If we don't do what they say, not only like, if you're, if you say you're airing the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, uh, a great gutfeld show on Fox. You got 15 writers that are getting paid. You got office space. You got

studio space. You got a paid audience. You got a room full of editors. You've got a marketing team all getting paid. That show gets paid by the network that airs it like a million dollars in episode. We get zero and we deliver the same hour of content that they do. And a lot of the podcasts are getting five, ten times the audience. Now, granted, they do get pennies on the dollar. There are people that make some money from YouTube, but it's nothing. As opposed to a million dollars, maybe they're making five grand for that delivering the same number of listeners. and we just line up and do it. It's the worst business model. And all we need to do is get organized and get the top 500 podcasts to all get on one fucking website, one streamer.

We could hire a team of 10 people that had cost half a million dollars for the year. And then get all those, get all the ad revenue and split it evenly. We would all be making 10 times the money we're making right now. And I think it would be a better experience for the listener because you wouldn't have to sift through shitty podcast. It would only be the top ones and me. I'm not one of the top 200. But it's my idea. So I get to get in.

I call it. Remember that when you're a kid? I call it. I call the front seat. Um, anyway, that's how I feel about that. Uh, I special shout out to my staff over at Mid Coast Media for editing and putting this out on a vacation week. I really do appreciate it. Um, I got Kevin Pollock on the show today. I got to tell you something. I get some good guests on the show. They don't get any better than Kevin Pollock. And I'm not just talking

about the fact that he's got so many acting credits and stand-up success that it's kind of mind-blowing, but also that he is just a good podcast, a great podcast. I got a good run going right now. Jesus, I just had Jason Ellis on yesterday. We went for an hour and a half. I got some good guest. Tell your friends as we go into the holidays. Recheck out Fitzdog Radio. I'm back, baby. I'm on Ritalin. This is the new Ritalin 2.0 Fitz-Fitsdog Radio. My stand-up's been sharp, too. I was at the improv a couple nights ago,

and there was a guy in the front row who looked a little kind of European. Looked like he had a little bit more style than your standard American. Interesting hair. And I go, I like your hair. And he goes, it's a wig. I go, no shit. And he whips it off. and he throws it to me, and I, what did I do?

I put it on. Am I afraid of headlights? Hell no. More concerned with getting a big laugh, which I did. And I did a couple bits with the wig on. I'm trying to get the tape from the improv. They videotape all the shows. The least they could do is get me the videotape,

and I can post it. Go viral. Get big. Picking up my mom today for Thanksgiving. I'm recording this on the 25th. Hopefully it's going up on the 26th. Thanksgiving is the 27th. Mom's flying in from Florida.

I always pick her up with a... Her drink is rye and ginger, which is rye whiskey with ginger ale. And I put it into a thermos cup and she sips that on the way back from the airport. And she's going to stay for like 11 days, which sounds like a lot, but I love having them.

my mom around. She's the best. We'll go to some museums. We'll do some hikes. We'll play poker. She loves playing poker. Walk on Venice Beach. Go to the golf course. She doesn't really golf anymore. She's 83. She had heart surgery a couple years ago, so she's not as strong as she used to be. But she's a lot of laughs and very warm. So I'm happy to have her. You know, I was thinking about, she named, or her and my father, named my brother Robert. And my father's name is Robert. That's a weird thing to do. You know, of all the choices, you got, in reality, maybe a hundred and twenty-five names you could pick from that might be interesting enough without being weird you want to hit that sweet spot and picking your own name is it narcissistic is it i mean are we

kings is this like you know i'm king william so i'll name i get i don't get it then every time the hello hi yeah is uh bob there which one what do you mean which one well my father's name bob and so is my brother. Oh, oh, your father, your father. Okay, there's eight seconds I won't get back in my life times a thousand. Like, if I name my son Greg, I would feel like I'm asking him to be like me too much.

I want him to be Owen. I want my daughter to be Jojo. I don't want another Greg and an errand. We're the last generation. You're the new improved Fitzsimmonses. we need new first names it's like you know coke then you had diet coke then you had classic coke you don't keep calling it just coke unless you're the coke brothers then you're always called coke but your uh one is named uh um uh the furor and one is named uh the chancellor all right

let's get to it i'm not going to waste a lot of time because my guest is amazing i do as i said my stand-up you do not want to miss it right now phoenix arizona i'll be at the desert ridge improv november 28th to the 30th that's his weekend san francisco punchline uh one of my top two favorite clubs in the country december 11th to the 13th uh bananas in new jersey out by the meadowlands It's December 26th, 27th, also coming in January, Cleveland, Atlanta, Austin, Texas, February, I'll be in Sacramento, Philly, Lexington, and Houston, March, I'll be in Fort Worth, L.A., Janesville, Wisconsin. Get all your tickets at Fitzdog.com. Get involved. Don't forget Sunday papers every Sunday with Mike Gibbons. And also, you know, life is about to get a little crazy for the holidays, and you're not always going to be. to eat right. You're not always going to have time to do it right. That is where tempo meals comes

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ready for this 60% off your first box go to tempo meals dot com slash Fitzdog, that's Tempomeels.com slash Fitzdog for 60% off your first box. Tempomails.com slash Fitzdog rules and restrictions may apply. Be wary of that. Okay, my guess. I mean, I don't know where to start. You know I'm from a few good men. How about grumpy old men? How about a few grumpy old men. Usual suspects, casino, end of days, the marvelous Mrs. Maisel, wedding planner, Miami Rhapsody, the whole nine yards. I mean, it just goes on and on billions. He is just the best. And I had a great talk of him this week. Here it is my chat with Kevin Pollock. Kevin Pollock is my guest, and is very sad that there is a preamble to the show that you missed out on that was gripping.

I mean, was it? Talked about electric cars. You are, I go on Wikipedia. I write scripts. Now, I mean, I know you did your show, the chat show, and it was all about, you know, opening up about your feelings. No, no, that's Marin. I had a research person who gave me a dossier. Yeah, a dossier.

That's what I called it. The problem of Wikipedia, as you know, is that there's issues of factual things. I think it says I have two kids. I don't. I don't think so. I wanted to ask you about when you were the ref in the 2014 Winter Olympics, ice hockey. You did the 2017 Stanley Cup playoffs. What was it like when a fight would break out?

What was your strategy for two big guys pounding each other? Don't get hit. Yeah. So growing up in Northern California. No, you grew up in Winnipeg, Ontario. I've shot three films in Winnipeg, and let me just say, when the moisture in your, on your nose hair is hardened, that's one thing. When the moisture in your eyes hardened? Yeah.

Then you want to get indoors. Right. So I didn't grow up with ice hockey. Okay. There is a Kevin Pollock. I know. That's what I'm getting at. Yeah.

So there is no ice hockey in Northern California, San Francisco, when I grew up. Right. I've been to San Jose Sharks for quite some time, but not when I grew up. So I had, if you don't have a team, no one's talking hockey, no one's teaching hockey. Yeah. I don't know anything about the sport. Right. 18 plus years ago, I get together with someone from Pittsburgh.

She's still my better half. And she cares more about her penguins than the Steelers. So we're going to go see her family for Thanksgiving. I booked my first live hockey game. I get a seats on the glass because I'm just that kind of. To take her while you're in her home. hometown. Yeah, it's Saturday after Thanksgiving. My first game on the glass in the igloo. Wow. Sid the kid. Sid the Kid. Sidney Crosby. Hat trick. Now, here's, here's my proudest

moment. Yeah. All the hats being thrown on the ice, I turned to her, why is everyone throwing their hats on the ice? And that guy. And now statistically impossible, one year to the day. One year later, Saturday after Thanksgiving, I did there's tickets back on the glass. Siddi K had another hat trick. My hat's the first on the ice. Not possible. First on the ice. Wow.

It helped that it was hat night and it was a free hat that I was throwing on the ice. One year of the day. Because you wear caps like mine and these don't get thrown on the ice. No. These are very hard to come by. When you can find one that's flat enough for your head and doesn't have a snap on it or it doesn't have like webbing on this. It's very hard to find the exact right newsy cap. and I admire yours. They're good. And you use them in your work.

If you had told me, I would have worn one. Yeah. I didn't really... I assumed you would. I really did. At that second game was Pollock, the ref. And I inquired and found out his full name was the same. He was reffing that game? Yeah, he refs all year long. Yeah, he's done more games than anybody in the NHL. Is that correct? Yes. We're hard workers. And he was going to retire?

in 2021 or something and got a second win just the opposite he got taken out by a guy and just collapsed his leg and he had to retire early like a month early whoa after 20 years in the league well he risked that every time he stepped onto the ice yeah and he lasted 20 years I was a ref in college I grew up playing ice hockey of course and uh Because I grew up in New York, we had a lake about two blocks from my house, and they took it very seriously this leg. They had... It's everything.

They had a giant shack. You could fit 50 people in that was heated. That had a little snack bar with hot dogs and hot chocolate. Where your kids got dressed into your hockey outfits. Yep. Uniforms? Are they called uniforms? No, not on the lake.

You didn't wear uniforms. You just wore... I mean, if there's a league, you're wearing something. There was no league. It was just pickup games. See, again, I grew up in Northern California where there's no education whatsoever about hockey. Stay out of my camera. So the same thing to Tom Cruise.

So we'd go down there, and if it snowed, they had plows, and they would plow out a perfectly shaped rink out of the snow, and then it would freeze into banks and you had walls on the rink. And you missed this to this day. They had telephone poles with floodlights. And at night, so we would play hockey all day. And then at night, we'd go back. We'd hide a case of beer in the woods. You know, we're 14, 15 years old. Absolutely.

We would skate. We'd kiss the girls. We'd try to put our freezing cold hand up their shirts and touch their little breasts. And then we would drink Budwisers in the snow. Uh-huh. Did the term statutory rape ever come up? Not if you're 14. It doesn't.

What does that mean? It means I'm in the game. I'm a player. I'm sanctioned. I'm under 18. Sanctioned by the United States federal court system. I see. Yes.

Okay. I mean, I'm not bad. I didn't go last year. You're working at camera. I'm old school. I know where my lenses are. Listen. Yes.

So anyway, so I was a good skater. So I got to college and I started roughing hockey games. That was my job for four years because we had, I went to BU. There was a hundred intramural hockey teams at BU. Oh, my God. Every day I'd refl like three games, break up fights. And so how did you stay out of the fray and not get blown out by players? I once was, I was breaking up a fight.

It was a frat. I just remember it was a frat and they fought a lot. Oh, God. And I'm breaking it up and I got hit in the side of the head. So then I hit the guy back. and I got suspended from reffing for like a month. Was it a bit of a wake-up call? A little bit.

Yeah. Don't drink before you ref for one of the games? I don't think I did drink when we played. We had a midnight ice time. By the way, this is a podcast about Kevin Pollock. It is? Well, look, sometimes I indulge. As you should.

Yeah. Yeah. But let's talk about you a little bit. Must we? Well, here's the thing about you. The business has collapsed. There is no work, and somebody forgot to give you the memo. There's already something floating in the...

No, it's fine. No, he's got another beverage. He's fine. He's just commenting on something floating in the water that he already didn't trust. Are you afraid of a germ? No. A little bit of germs are good for you. No, no.

I better have false... Jamie, her name's Jamie. Can I just say Jamie now instead of the other bit bullshit. She likes to point out she grew up in a house full of mold and asbestos. So we have everything in our house. You don't hold back eating and drinking. Right. Way beyond expiration dates.

Yep. It's going to lose some of its flavor. That's the worst thing that happens beyond the expiration date. Well, with the mold? Beyond the expiration date. It's true. So you don't understand. that the business has slowed down because you're working...

Currently seen in Season 3 of Tulsa King? Which I fucking love... Do you? Well, here's the funny thing is I... We went all in on season one and two. Didn't realize season three was out until you told me. And then I binge those... Here's the thing about you.

You're not an intimidating guy. You're sharp. You mean in real life. I mean, not physically. You mean in real life. In real life. But as it turns out... As it turns out...

Multi- Award winning. but always as a tough guy not always and do you always laugh when it happens i smile i do an acknowledging smile it's just it makes me realize that like good acting comes from something where it where does this come from where does this edge that lets you be intimidating camera angle and uh the right words although i was allowed to uh play with them a little yeah um Yeah, and the right clothing. You know, you got to use all the elements here. Yeah, you got on.

If I'm just sitting down in a... Yeah, on the tight suit. In this look. Right. I'm not intimidating anyway. Not unless ping pong is about to break out. Then I'd say maybe this guy's onto something. If I brought my own paddle in a leather case.

Right. But so you're doing scenes with Slice Stallone. One of the tough, tough guys of all time. It's crazy because we hadn't met before, which is really kind of weird when you've been around as long as I have been. he has and and um thankfully one of the first things he said was i remember seeing you on carson doing peter follow really which it couldn't be more the origin story of my uh that was an early one in the public's face yeah people in stand up slowly starting to know who i was but you know

Carson was pretty early, 88, I think, 87, 88, something like that. And so, way back machine almost, you know, 37 years ago. So that was a nice icebreaker. Yeah. And then we, my first day at work, having never met this guy, had an inside Intel, a friend Martin Starr has been on the show from the beginning. Sure, Martin Starr from Silicon Valley. So wonderful on Intel's the King, too, as Bodie.

So he gave me a little, you know, inside skinny before I got there on who's who and what's what. Yeah. And he said, he's super charming and funny. And lo and behold, that was what happened. So my first stage's work was episode three of this new season where we're in the car together on a road trip. Uh-huh. And it was five little scenes in the car, him and I. And, spoiler, we shoe that on a soundstage so they can control the elements.

People don't really think the thing behind me is whatever you're... Wow, so you have all this infrastructure green screen, and that's what you put on the... You can put the Swiss Alps there. We used to do Venice Beach. We do different photos of Venice Beach every week. And then... Instead, you said, fuck it. Let's put up two blue squares and the name of the show.

show. But, I mean, Jesus, we're surrounded by green. So this is you wearing your director's hat now, now that you've directed a few things? You're all of a sudden. International filmmakers is what I would prefer. Yes. How you address me. Does that mean your stuff only sells overseas? It means I shot in Bulgaria. Did you really? I did. Wow. Yes, sir. Now, we're going to double back to that because I want to know more about Slot. Yeah, so the five little scenes, right, my first day. And so, I just, you know, after we get the Peter Falk thing out of the way, great way to start, because I've got... Did you do it for him on the spot? I have no choice, him or anyone.

Yeah. I told you the story when I did at the first time of the Tonight Show, and then a couple weeks later, I did the Peter Fogg for Carson on the couch, moving just the one eye. Falk very famously had one glass eye. I remember reading stories he told in TV Guide Yeah About that class, sorry Uh huh Playing Little League

11 years old Slid in a second Um called him out He popped the eye out and said You clearly need this more than I do At 11 I think that makes him the hip as 11 year old That's commitment

Yeah that's pretty good That's a 11 year old goes You only live once So if he's talking about it in TV Guide I immediately started teaching myself to make just one eye move, which was pretty easy, and I can teach your viewers if you'd like. And on the second appearance on The Tonight Show, I taught Johnny how to do it. But the first one, I did the Peter Falk right out of the thing.

You know, the pre-interview, what do you want Johnny to ask you? Just happen to say, I understand you do impersonation. And I'll just launch into it because he loved Peter Falk, had him on all the time. Yeah. All the time. Loved him. Yeah. So I thought, I'll open with this.

I'll be a made man, and that's, in fact, what happened. But, now, Kevin, we'll talk about Willow in just a second. Somebody told me, let you do Peter Falk. Is that right? He's been on the show. Is that right? Johnny, that's a bold face line. I don't know why you heard such a thing.

Two weeks later, produce section at Ralph's. Acousted by Peter Falk. No. Who had seen the appearance. Really? And asked. How do you do that with your eyes? True story.

Me, I understand. How do you do this? Ah, that's great. Yeah. One of the absolute most genius, personally, high mark. Yeah. Byproduct of the stupid shit we do. Yeah. How many other famous people have one eye? Didn't Sandy Duncan have one eye? Yes.

I think that's it. Are we done? I think we're done. Two fake eyes. Can we crack research? Paul, you want to look at the famous people with one eye? Yeah. Hitler had one ball, I believe. You know, before the murder suicide in the bunker,

he shot their loyal German Shepherd dog in the face. I heard that. Yeah. Yeah. Are you a dog owner? I was. How did that make you feel to hear that Hitler shot the dog in the face? It made me think, as Norm McDonnell would say,

I don't think I'm crazy about this guy. Uh-huh. I think he's not such a good guy. guy. Yeah. Paul, what do you got? Before you answer that, you just made my point. Nobody cares about the Jews.

Alice Walker. Johnny Depp. Go sit down. No, Johnny Depp doesn't have one eye. Get out of here. I'm just reading here 15 people that you were one eye. Go sit down. One eyed.

I can write the Bobby right now and ask him. There was a kid from Christmas story. Teddy Roosevelt had one. One eye? This is a bum list. This is a bum list. Yeah, I'm not buying this. I think this list has one eye stronger than the other.

Well, he said he was blind. Teddy Roosevelt got in a boxing match and Leo Fender, the founder of the Fender guitar. Johnny Depp. No, not buying it. Yeah, okay. Thank you, Paul. That's how good I am. Yeah.

resourcing. Right. Thank you. Thank you for your service. Paulopedia. So let's get back to Bulgaria. You're wearing your director's hat, which I assume in Bulgaria is like a knit stocking cap. Is it winter?

It's just a pelt. Just a belt. You're not even going to say what animal, right? No, because they had a choice. And I don't remember which one I picked. Yeah. But I was a Gun for Hired director on this little movie. I'm proud of about 61% of it.

It's a little sex comedy. Nice. I was able to cast J.K. Simmons six months after he won the Oscar. Wow. Exactly. Maria Bello, Jane Lynch, Kumil Nanjani, Beck Bennett. I got myself a cast. Oh, this wasn't that long ago.

I got myself a cast. This was 10 years ago. Did Maria do a nude scene? Because she famously, in history of violence, did. one of the great sex scenes of all time. Did you ever see that in history of violence? Yeah. On the stairs?

My memory of the movie was that it was like watching a pony die. Yes. And Hitler shot the pony? See? No one cares about the juice. I know the joke you're talking about. One of the great jokes of all time. So I was a gun for hire.

I'm casting this movie. I cast the movie I did six page one rewrites uncredited Really Just because I wanted it to be I mean I asked

If you want to hire me I need to The premise was great Based on a true story About a guy Who didn't go through Puberty until 30 And then he goes

To full on puberty At 30 Yeah You see the humor's built in Sure Pituetary gland That they found And removed

And went through puberty at 30 True story. True story. So, but the script was a lot of hijinks and close-up of boobs. And I thought, this is too great as a true story. Let's put a little heart and soul into it. And then I cast up all those people that I just listed off.

Britney Snow, Johnny Simmons was the titular character. It was called Late Bloomer. Titular? Titular. Is that what you call a woman who? who was in this film, titular? I mean, one of them. Was there only one topless scene in the film, or several?

I think, you know, you watch a film a thousand times when you're editing, and then I can't wait to not look at it ever again. And it was 10 years ago, so. I think it was less nakedness and a lot of buoyant, clemen. believe it. Yes. Okay. Yeah. And, but because of the premise, that's what, in my opinion, made it a sex complex. Right. Because when you go through puberty until 30, in life, this guy thought he was a freak because he knew he found women attractive, so he knew he was technically heterosexual, but he had no of those things that testosterone create. Right.

aggressiveness also uh-huh um and no sex drive and and no none of that so he just thought i'm a freak and then at 30 boom they removed the uh tumor and acne hair boom in in minutes yeah so that's funny to me yeah at 30 that's great businessman uh-huh um back ben and camille non johnny play the two best friends who don't understand what the fuck is happening and why couldn't you tell us we could have helped you. Yeah. So, and I got Jack White to give us a song for the opening credits. I mean, I really poured myself into this. But I didn't know that it was being controlled by the money people who were planning on shooting out the big names that greenlit the small budget the first two days and then we were moving to production. Okay. Bulgaria where he had sound stages. Yeah. So I became

an international filmmaker in that moment. Somebody asked me the other day, my party of five. You remember that dinner for five? Do you remember the TV show? Yeah. Asked my dinner for five. And Jane Lynch was one of my people at my table. Would I be right in inviting her? Oh, I thought you meant you appeared on an episode with her.

No, no, no. You're going to put together a dinner for five? Yeah, Bill Murray, obviously. Jane Lynch, would she be on that? Monster Match. Yeah. She's an assassin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also a great laugh. Rarely is it about her, you know, middle America, sort of upbringing, very sweet. Right.

Mother hen, but lights out hilarious. Yeah. Who's at your dinner for five? Get her alive? No, alive. Alive. Yeah. So we're going to shoot this.

We could. I mean, Paul. You think you can pull these people together? Let's not go to Paul just right away. I mean, I'm sure he's... Paul can't even look up who they are. I'm sure. Oh, man.

Maybe Johnny Depp. Maybe I put the old one eye right in there. Interesting. Yeah. I got to ask about the eye. All right, Paul. What do you... He can't see very well.

That doesn't mean... See, what we were looking for is someone's had an eye removed. Yes, this glass. There has to be. There is a fake Sammy Davis Jr. Sammy Davis Jr. How do we miss that one? You know, I was bumped my very first tonight show because Sammy did four songs.

Now, no one had ever done more than two in the history of the show. No one had even suggested three. He went right to four. Wow. And, you know, it's your first time on. You've called 65 people. Not yet. The worst thing about it is you have to call the 65 people before that night and say I was bump.

So I'm in the dressing room kicking the wall, losing my. mind after the show. And he comes in, I am so sorry. You kids with the whole shakunk kank. That's a quote. He spoke like that. And then took photos with us in the parking lot afterwards. He made up real nice. Yeah. But I was losing my mind. I got bumped from my first letterman by Jack Lemon, who was on fire and did three segments of stories. But that was one where I went like kind of enjoying this. Yeah. Oh, nice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and they rebook you right away. Well, actually, I got bumped four times, and I got, and I was struggling.

I was, I was 27 years old. I had no fucking money. You needed this appearance. I needed the appearance. And meanwhile, I got paid five times. $398. No, I think it was close to a grand. I think it was like $7.50?

What year was this? Ninety-six. Okay. You and I have done late-night shows twice. We did Conan together. and we did I can't remember the other one but I remember having done two different

and you were the guest ahead of me and you had a woman with you who was backstage yeah what year do you suppose that was 99 2000 range oh were you single then

would that have been it didn't feel like a marriage or anything it felt like 25 years ago, I would have been single. Yeah, this seemed like a date. This seemed like Kevin was going to blow you away by bringing you back. I mean, it's a, you know, I realized pretty early on after doing so many of those appearances on various talk shows. Rife with the opportunities for getting clothing.

you know, I wear your outfit. You've done that. Watch. You reach out to a clothing company and sale. Company, shumpity. It's a store. You just walk into a store and go, I'm going to be on the tonight show. Get out of here.

Buddy, how am I the first person to lay this at your feet? I mean, eventually, if you're big enough, you have a stylist who go to the stores and makes all this shit happen. But I was out there hawking my wares as myself originally. But to your point, to your question, No better date. Hey, I'm doing, Conan, do you want to? Yeah. And I don't mean at a bar when you meet someone.

I just mean if you're casually dating anyone and you have that opportunity. And you're done by 637, go at the dinner, then you go back to your place to watch at air. Well, we do a little something first because it's on late. You got time to kill, yeah. At least four minutes. I just need four minutes. Yeah, Jamie, aforementioned who you've met, I'm sure. Naturally.

We've been together a long time. I took her to a very early Conan where she met her hero, Tina Faye. And that was a really, really big deal. I'm not saying it was a closer. I'm saying we were already... I bought my brother-in-law, who I love, I bought him. He was a Howard Stern fanatic. And I brought him into the studio.

with me. He lost his mind. He lost his mind. Yeah. Howard. Yeah. I introduced my dad to George Lucas on the set of Willow, and my dad said, I really loved E.T. And to George's credit, considering he's not famous for improv, said, oh, me too. As they were shaking in. Yeah. That's pretty good. Yeah, it's not bad. So those introductions are great. All right, who else is at your dinner for five? Other than Johnny Depp. You got Johnny Depp.

Man, oh, man. I mean, how is Bill Murray not on there? I guess he's an instant invite. I've met Bill, spent a little time with him, met his brother, Brian Doyle's, geez, 10 years ago, 70th because he just had his 80th a couple days ago. and then we saw we saw billy again at the last ghostbusters movie premiere in new york and brian doyle became a friend because he lived around the corner from us for a very long time and we saw bill at the after party it was a little anytime you have an interaction with him

it's thrill of a lifetime yes which is why i'm talking about it now yeah forgive me but we just remembered and we quote him saying oh i remember you guys you lived on the corner from my brother you ran him out of the out of the neighborhood out of the state yeah um so i yeah i guess bill would be there because the sit down dinner is going to be a lot more than the couple of 10 minute run-ins i've had with him so yeah he's there yeah for sure here's my bill murray story i was 19 and i just spent the summer in the hamptons living in a flea ridden little one bedroom with two other guys because uh we just thought we'd go out and wait tables and have some fun in the hamptons one summer summer at the beach summer at the beach and i had an affair with a 40 year old woman all

summer yep and she was delightful had you seen the movie what movie summer of 42 oh yeah yeah yeah where they buy the condoms and the druggist goes do you know what those are used for and he goes yeah you fill them up with water and you throw them off the roof and the drug is goes, okay, here you go. Wow, good pull. Yeah, but I... So you had your own summer 42. So I had my summer 42.

So this woman, Joanne, she was a lawyer for Lee Iacoco at the time. And so she invites me to the New York Film Festival that fall. You're how old? I'm 19. Strapping. So I wasn't hard on the eyes. Full head of hair. Reddish brown, a little wave to it.

Uh-huh. up. So we go to the premiere and we get onto the escalator behind Bill Murray. And I'm, you know, as I'm sure you were. I mean, there was nobody, nope, funnier to me. So I said, Mr. Murray, would you mind signing my ticket? And I handed to him. And he goes, sure. And then he goes, do you have a pen? And I just looked at him like this. And then he took the ticket and he put it in his mouth and he chomp down on it. And he goes, that ought to get you back in again. To this day, I have that with a stick pin on my wall. That's unbeatable. Yeah. A bite imprint. If he goes down in a plane crash, I can identify him. All right. So we got Johnny Depp. We got Bill Murray. Yeah.

I've weirdly never met Spielberg. So I'm going to put him there. Really? Yeah, because he's arguably, I think you could argue, the most successful film director of the last 40 years. 50. 50. Jaws, well, I said successful. You mean box office was?

I didn't say the most artistic. Right, right, right. You're talking about selling tickets box office. Well, he created the blockbuster, the summer blockbuster. That was attached to Jaws 50 years ago. Right. last, what, July? Yeah.

Have you seen the Jaws exhibit at the Academy Museum, by the way? I've been to that, but I haven't seen that exhibit. It'll be there until next July. Okay. Do yourself a solid. It's unbelievable. Really? Script pages donated by Spielberg with notes and all kinds of incredible.

Incredible. They did an exceptional job. Open to the public. So get yourself a ticket. I mean, as an academy member, I just. And what's fun is you can do, they have an acceptance thing where they give you a trophy and then you can get a video of yourself winning in front of the crowd. You can give you your speech. I told you Alan Arkin's speech that he didn't use when he finally won for Littemus Sunshine.

But he told me prior what he would say. Okay, here's what I would say if I won the Academy Award. You know, applause. Thank you. Thank you. It's very kind. I have two things to say. first of all, I think pitting artists against each other is the most heinous thing you could possibly do to the community.

I think this is an absolute travesty of why we pursued this career. And I think the Academy should be held accountable and certainly embarrassed. And secondly, I'd like to say this is the greatest night in my entire life. How do you not use that speech? That's one of my favorite impressions you've ever done. I asked him after his words, why he didn't use it. And he said, are you crazy? You get up there, you can't, you don't know your name.

Yeah. Everything flies out of you. Yeah. That's why people bring a piece of paper and read it because they know they can't remember anything. Spielberg, Depp, Murray. So he's the most successful filmmaker and has made, in fact, untouchably brilliant. I'm going to go out further on the jaws of him and say it's a perfect film. so that's three of the five that is how many times during your program have you put a guess through this

never before well because i feel like i think you're going to get if you if there is a comment section you're going to get some comments negative this takes up too much well maybe i should ask the guest before they come in but here's my thing of you because it is a great question yes with a little foresight And time. But here is why I ask you is because you famously have a poker game once a week. And you think there's people there that I want to have dinner with? James O. Brooks will be back playing at the game tomorrow night. Oh, nice.

He's actually one that I would want at the dinner. Okay. There's four. I'm going to put Jim Brooks there. Okay. Jack Nicholson. Wow. I mean, I spent a lot of time with him 33 years ago.

But we didn't sit down and break bread. I don't know how lively he'd be at this point at the table. Well, he loves Johnny. He loves Jim. Yeah. So I think they could get him out of his show. All right. I love it.

Yeah. Who is your best Asian friend? Best? Yeah. What does that mean? Who's your closest Asian friend? His name is Kenny Chen. He worked on the chat show.

I have a new favorite, but he's not best. We text each other. Who's that? Bowen Yang. Oh, no way! I think he's one of the funniest people that ever lived. One of the most talented sketch. He really is.

He exploded on SNL. He came on and he was one of those guys that hit the ground running. The iceberg, I think, was the first. Yes, that's right. That popped at the news desk. He was at one point running between a film he was shooting in, England and S&L. And I believe he had a nervous breakdown and had to take a little time off.

There was a New Yorker article about it. He was, I'm not spilling tea. He talked about it in a New Yorker article. It's such a Boston thing to say. I think it was the one, the second part is coming out. It was based on a musical, Broadway musical. Yeah, involving the Wizard of Oz. Yes.

Can't remember what it's called. That's what happens when we're going. get to be a certain age I'm sitting here with knee surgery it's a single word title Nemo got a text from him yesterday

Ellen Generous No the person who says Nemo Nemo Oh Albert Brooks Correct continue Nice Unicorn Genius Jews for 400

He's my Hero. In fact, I might have to swap out Nicholson for Albert Brooks. Yes. That's good. So he's my unicorn hero. And this last January of 25, we did a sit down in conversation at San Francisco Sketchfest. Who did it? Albert Brooks and I. He hadn't been on stage live in front of an audience in forever. Yeah. 70s, early 70s. Wow. More than 50 years. And they, they, they. The festival, which I'm sure you've performed at, quite famous, has asked him almost every year, invited him to come,

and this was the first time. And so he is my unicorn North Star for all things funny. Right. His stand-up, his albums, his appearances on variety shows. His ventriloquist bit, you can YouTube it on Flip Wilson, where he drops the dummy to look for a, lighter for his cigarette um his appearances on the tonight show which he used but he ended up

using the tonight show as an open mic night because he would write a bit not performing for anyone and just bring it right on the show yeah um he did another dummy bit of introsite bit with a speak and spell yeah little computer thing on the tonight show with johnny yeah buddy hi buddy we're talking to johnny you know johnny don't you yes That was so great. Yeah. And so he called me before that sketch fest. We'd met socially a few times, but hadn't really had any quality time together.

So he called me and said, look, let's go over a couple of things. You know, you can, let's talk about this, not that. You can ask me whatever you want, but these are just a couple things I'd rather stay away from. And then he just started being Albert on the phone. And so then it went so well. We did another one in Santa Barbara. But first of all, I get the phone call. Kevin, it's Albert.

Listen, I just came out of my agent's office. They're very excited. I want to do more of these. And I don't know when. I told them I won't do it unless you're the interviewer. And it was very important to me. And I don't know how long it's going to take for them to book these, but I'll let you know. and then I'm dancing

like a lunatic and then I text him I don't know if I was able to speak let alone make it clear how grateful I am that you insisted that I be the interviewer I look forward to this and he texts back

I wouldn't use the word insist the other two people I wanted both have cancer 10 minutes later that one comes And then two minutes later Oh Jesus, that's the first time I've used the word cancer And a joke In a text

I hope bad things don't happen So now we're texting and calling Oh, very nice And the Santa Barbara one also went great And now we're going to do Same thing again in conversation At a comedy festival in Nashville And a comedy festival in Austin, Texas

Both in April How's the money on that? Good enough. Good. I mean, he could have said, here's a $5 gift certificate to Woolworth, and I would have said, I'm pretty sure they closed years ago. How about Board his books? Here's a card.

Yeah, I mean, he's the attraction. Yes. So they made it fiscally respectable, but not as if I was the ticket sell. Right. Which is, again. A fly first class? Again, yes, yes. But I did have to drive myself to.

Santa Barbara. You did? Oh, my God. They paid for the hotel? There was a travel buyout now that I'm thinking of it. So whatever it cost to charge my car when I got there, they paid for. Okay. Yeah, so he is an absolute unicorn comedy hero, and I would want him at the dinner.

Okay. Yeah. Good. I like it. You like the list? I like the list. I mean, it doesn't have a lot of diversity, but that's done. I think the whole, I think all that diversity stuff is over.

What do you mean about diversity? You mean people of color or a woman? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or a woman. A woman or, I mean, not. Here's the thing. When I cast this film I directed. Yeah.

The first thing I directed was a documentary with the thesis. Do you have to be miserable to be funny? misery loves comedy it's on Amazon well I don't believe I was asked to do it I think I was I talked you were asked

you weren't available I talked to I talked to 60 annoyingly famous funny people okay yeah with the premise again and when I cast that the producer was saying

this is a lot of white guys yeah and I said well I asked Dave Chappelle he replied to me I'd love to and we haven't been able to lock him

Right. I'm pretty sure Camille Nanjani is a person of color. Yes. Freddie Prince Jr. is technically Latin. Sure. Sure. He's not Latinx. He's Latin-ish. He's Latin-ish. Yeah.

And the problem I have is what you're suggesting is that I went out of my way not to be inclusive. Yes. And fuck you. Right. So that, you know, if you want to pay for some therapy sessions and maybe drill down on why I didn't go out of my way to be more inclusive.

Yeah. As opposed to go through the rolodex of people I might be able to reach on my phone. I do a comedy benefit every year, which I've asked you to do. And I always get shit. it that it's not diverse and it's true like i reached out to leslie jones she didn't get back to me yeah i reached out to sarah silverman she's on the road you know female comics and black comics that are good are working are too big they are too big and they are too big they're so in demand right now i had maria bamford bampford i i i mean i they're women uh lorraine newman they're women in the fucking

thing yeah you know um Maria is very eloquent about her depression. She was great. Very raw. She was phenomenal. Yeah. Yeah. She's the best.

But, yeah, I mean, I talked to, I even ended up talking to people who had just been on stage as an actor, not necessarily stand-up. Yeah. Because it was also about choosing a profession that is begging for attention. Yeah. Facebook became a multi-billion-dollar company because everyone suffers from, hey, look at me, since childhood. Yeah. There are very few of us who choose that as a profession, and it's pretty fucked up if you think about it.

No, no, look at me. As a profession, that I guarantee as many jobs as you've had interviews for and didn't get, you don't know what rejection is. Yeah. Unless you've entered into this particular field. It is... I probably went on two to three hundred hyperbole by maybe 15.

Acting jobs? Auditions before I got anything. Yeah. Where it felt like they weren't just saying no, they were saying, how about anyone but you is going to get this? Well, because if you're selling paper and they don't buy the paper,

they don't like the paper. That's right. I mean, it hurts. It's personal. I'm looking at your resume. It doesn't seem like you've had a lot of... experience in what we do here so that's the rejection as opposed to i don't like your face well that's a sweet this thing about your career right now is that you've always worked hard i wrote it down

you've you've done a hundred and eighty acting jobs or something on i mdb and uh you you in television and film television and film roles uh i don't think i've hit the hundred in the film no you're at 90 170 acting jobs and you've played yourself 148 times which means like variety shows yeah you've done a lot of talk shows yeah but i also started in the 80s so yes but it's a numbers game but you've got so much momentum that you you you're fucking made i mean let's assume you live another 12 years. I don't think you have to try. I think you've got, I think you're on such a wave.

I mean, I know I make 68 look good. And by the way, I read at a 71-year-old level. And I just turned 68 last week. 12. So you're taking me out at 80. I gracefully. I mean, I'll take 80 in a heartbeat. Do you want to be 81?

I don't want to be 81. So do you not know a lot of people in their early 80s? They don't do anything. They do the crossword puzzle. Jim Brooks just finished. Okay. Writing and directing another movie that's coming out in December. Okay.

I'm just going to keep mentioning the same people over and over again. And mostly Brooks's. So, yeah. A few good men, 92. Sure. That's when I went from auditioning together. getting offered. And I've been insanely fortunate to continue to get offers since then. So that's 33 years. Yeah. And, you know, in the 90s, as a stand-up, when someone says I have stage time

do you want it, the answer is yes. You're in your car as you're saying yes. Yeah. So by the time I got to acting, I was used to if there's an offer, the answer is yes. So in the 90s, I did 40 movies. I only know that because at the end of the 90s was the end of the millennium. And they put out all the top 100 lists and all the top 10 lists. And I was on the top 10 hardest working actors of the 90s just of the decade. Wow. It was Sam L. Jackson.

It was me. And the qualifications or caveat was you had to have done. four movies per year, each year of the 90s. Which you did. Which is the only reason I know I did at least 40. Wow. Now, six of them, very good. Okay.

So batting average, not great. But I was this guy, I was a girl who couldn't say no. Is there one in particular that you regret having done? What's interesting about the regret is there are still people who come up to me and say, I love that movie. And also, you don't know going in if it's going to be good or not. Ever. Yeah. No, no, no.

The usual suspects was written by a 25-year-old and directed by a 25-year-old. They hadn't done anything. Yeah. No one famous in the movie. You could argue because it was only 94, two years after a few good men. And Gabriel Byrne just had Miller's Crossing as brilliant as he was. It was not a huge commercial success that because of a few good men, I was arguably the most well-known person of the suspect. Yeah.

but again only as a character actor not as a movie star there were no there were no bankable people in that movie right so there was no reason for that movie to work yeah none yeah if you need any further proof that it's lightning in the bottle you needn't look further than the fact that stephen baldwin's great in the film interesting yeah so what is it and i know you've probably been asked this a million times but like to have a consistent career like you have. Well, say yes. Say yes to everything in the 90s.

Well, yeah, but I'm saying, but I'm not taking away from your talent because you are a craftsman. You're the kind of guy I picture who always knows his lines, who's always 20 minutes early, who takes direction. I mean, you're a pro, and then you get this reputation as a pro. But how do you... It helps to be that. Yeah.

And class clown on the set. Oh, really? I mean, it's built in. Yeah. I mean, you know, I learned actually on a few of men from Ryan or also who said these words. If we're not having fun, there's no point of any of this. Uh-huh. Which is why the few times I have worked with method actors, I found them horrible to be around.

Yeah. Because they take all the fun out of the room out of the air. They end up being some of our greater actors. but yeah so on time know your shit be prepared and uh be fun be fun yeah be fun for sure yeah now people talk about and you haven't had to audition a lot over the years i'm sure you still do once in a while right you just don't audition at all no not that i wouldn't right if all the elements were lined up greatest director greatest other co-stars brilliant cinematographer and this director just reads everyone i've heard that a couple of times over the

over the years and um you know it didn't work out for whatever reason it wasn't a matter of me saying i refuse to so you haven't auditioned in how many years 33 that's not completely true i did offer once uh-huh uh for the usual suspects uh at the time again from 92 I was getting offers for the first time in my life after a few good men. And so the agent and I would get on the phone once a week and talk about the small stack of scripts that I had to consider. Yeah. And he kept saying, there's a script I want you to read called Usual Suspects. And I said, who wrote it?

You never heard of him. He's 25. Great. Who's directing it? You never heard of him. He's 25. Why do I have to read this script? Who else is in it?

Right now, they just have Kevin Spacey. And in 94, nobody was greenlighting Kevin Space in movies. he was a character actor like myself and you know I said who else is in they're putting the cast game okay what else what other scripts should I consider

okay we'll move on to the next one but I really want you okay okay I'll read it it took several weeks of him saying that before I finally read it yeah I got to page five reading it called him and said I'm in he said let me call Brian the director and he called me back and said Brian is over the moon he can't

believe you want to do it he's got two parts left. You can have either one. Why? Really? Yeah. But he's agreed to read, auditioned two other actors for one of the parts, and he can't go back on that, but the part's yours. And I said, well, fuck that. I'm not going to let some of the actor come in and blow his mind. Yeah. And get the part. So tell him I'll come in. Yeah. And I did. And the two roles left were the one I played and the one Benicio del Toro played. And so when I met with Brian. I said, well, I don't want to do that one, fenced there, because the only

reason he exists, spoiler alert, 30 years later, the only reason his character is in the movie is to die to tell the rest of the suspect, you can't run from Kaiser Soza. It doesn't say anything of import. He doesn't add anything to any scene. And then Benicio came in and stole every scene he's in. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. Wow. By the way, he's in two of the best movies of the year for my taste both directed by an Anderson of this year

Wes Anderson and PTA and PTA Have you seen one It's a perfect film It's a perfect film Yeah Yeah And Benizio

Yeah The arrest scene alone Jamie and I can't stop saying If anything to drink sir A few A few what sir He's got his jacket up As he's walking straight line

A few smokebers Yeah Yeah he's brilliant in both films yeah so yeah so so i auditioned for that in 94 and that was okay the last one good all right i want to get to fast balls with fits okay it is uh fast so don't think just answer just answer i remember this who would you want to play you in your biopic with what age sorry but I don't know any young ones, obviously, so it would have. Okay, so somebody in this range, assuming you're not playing yourself in your biopic, which seems like a real affront.

I, that's really tough because it's, it is a squat funny Jew that we're talking about. And I just don't know that many, you know, because. Paul Giamatti? Sure, but he already seems, you know, there was a time when we were, we were. We're probably 10, 11 years in difference. He's older than you. No. No?

No. See, this is what happens when you come from the right gene pool. Yeah, no. Apologi for sure, but it's close enough that I should be playing it. I was going to say that the kid who played Danny Aykroyd in the Saturday Night Live movie, who also ended up being in this recent. movie this year I think twinless didn't see it he's brilliant beyond belief really he plays twins okay and the guy who is the other male lead also wrote and directed the film um it's called twinless

and everyone should find it and see it have you ever lent a lot look up the kid who played uh danny acroyd in the saturnat live movie please Jesus Christ Dan Aykroyd in the Saturday Night Live movie I feel horrible like I've forgotten his name Paul Nope I don't feel horrible about forgetting Paul's name I meant the actor who

Have you ever lent a lot of money Well obviously it wasn't a lot to me but it was a lot to them so yes And how did that work out? Never see it And you expect it to never see it when you lent it

Yes And did it affect the friendship I'd been hit Hipped by others who had similar. Dana Carvey starred out same time as me in San Francisco, late 70s doing stand-up. And I think he was the one who hit me too. You're going to be asked to loan money to friends and family.

And it's not alone. Dana lent it to the or gave it to the same person as you. No, no, no, no, just in life. He said, look forward to this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is going to happen. And did it affect the friendship? No.

Good for you. Because I knew going in what was going to happen. Right. I wasn't thrilled about it. I had hopes that it would somehow work out for both of us. Well, it worked out for both of us because I got to be, I don't know, magnanimous. Helpful and magnanimous until now that I've seen it be complaining about.

You're not. No, you said no. I actually, I find that most people can't maintain the friendship after they're not paid back. Well, then they don't understand the premise. Right. Right. Yeah. Thank you. Dylan O'Brien. Brilliant. Brilliant. Brilliant.

Next question. Can I borrow 10 grand? And when I say borrow, by the way, that was the amount. It was. It's always the amount. You hit the number. Then I think about, sometimes I think about, because I pay, as of next year, I'll be paying $50,000 a year for health insurance for my family. Oh, sure. 50,000. And I just got this operation. It cost me $3,500. Got a colonoscopy last week. $1,700. My daughter got an appendectomy, $4,000 out of my pocket. So what you're saying is these things are not covered by your insurance. Well, I have to pay 25% of the balance. That's what those numbers were. Yes, that's the 25% of the balance.

Is that a Riders Guild insurance? No, Riders Guild is amazing. I would have paid almost nothing if it was Riders. I'm going through California Blue Shield. My point being, if I went broke, Joe Rite's guilt. Rogan and I are very close. You should go to him. How much could I...

Million. Do you think I could ask for the million? I think his deal was 200. Because I was thinking about a million. Because if I borrow a hundred, I'm going to need another 100 after two years of health insurance. Why don't I just get the million up front? Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, listen, there's no way to... No quicker, better way to find out just how close of a friend he is. And how generous. He's famously generous. And ironically, you know, who's not Ellen DeGeneres? Very ironic. If you could learn any skill in the world without trying, which one would you learn? Without trying?

Like, you just have it. You just magically have the skill. Fly a plane. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. I'd like to fly a plane. Have you?

Nope. It'd be fun to make the announcement, even though you're the only one on the plane, tension passengers, sell yourself a credit card. You'll get 40,000 points. I'm just going to keep going back to a few good men. One day, Tom says,

you want a ride to work tomorrow. We're going to shoot in Long Beach. Yeah. The whole movie is basically shot on soundstages in Culver City. A couple of weeks in Washington, D.C. for the exteriors. We wanted to ride to work tomorrow. We wanted to shoot Guantanamo Bay when we go visit Nicholson. The Marines read the script and said, yeah, the colonel is a lunatic?

I don't think we're going to help you. So we shot a base in Long Beach. You want to ride to work tomorrow? Tom, I appreciate it. I got a car. No, no, no. Show up here. I'll send you the photo.

He flew me in a helicopter. Nice. In 92. So that's before I think people know that he's a pilot, even. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And I was very nervous.

Yeah. And he didn't do any tricks, thankfully. Bill Burr flies a helicopter. Flew Jamie and I to San Francisco Sketch Fest just a handful of years ago. Bill did? He says, do you guys want, I'm going to fly, I'm going to, yeah, you want to go. Now, here's the crazy thing. First of all, I'm always looking for where.

If I die, it's a story. And Bill would have made it as well. Yes. So when you're on a helicopter between L.A. and San Francisco, I've driven a million times. That's where I'm from and flown a million times. But the flying in the helicopter, you're between the five and the 101, the two big freeways to take you up and down. You're going over topography you've never, ever seen. And you're about 500 to 1,500 feet above ground.

Wow. I'm probably somewhere in the window, or closer to 1,500, me. But anyways, extraordinary. I highly recommend. Is there air traffic control, or you just go by site? Yes, yes, there is when you get close to areas where they control. Yeah. And there was a instructor co-pilot with Bill.

Okay. For sure. Yeah. This was five or six years ago, so I think he was still, needing that and you wear headphones but you can talk to each other exactly is it loud uh not with headphones yeah sounds lovely it's a strain sensation yeah because it's slightly uncontrolled airspace yeah uh being that close to the ground how would you like to die instantly yeah i think sleep More than that?

Sleep is nice. Well, sleep, I think, is on everyone. But it sounds like you want a little bit of a story. That I'll never be able to tell, but that someone else will tell. Yes. Something good at the memorial. As my birthday approached last week, I did finally have the thought. I've left my mark.

Yeah. I think at some point in a life, there becomes the awareness and the interest. I'd like to leave a mark of some kind. I'll leave a better space than when I found it, sure, but I'd like to leave some sort of mark of my efforts as a career choice behind. And I finally dawned on me, based on your research, it should have dawned on me a few years ago,

that the work will live on. I think the work will live on and your reputation is a guy who is kind, who is good to work with, who is fun to work with. that that is just as significant well bless you for saying so all right yeah

well listen thanks for being on the podcast are we done with the fast that feels like a I was going to ask one or two but that felt like a nice button okay you know and then I ruined it by asking is that really it well there's so much of your stuff

I'm going to edit out I mean this is going to be 20 minutes it's 20 minutes yeah yeah my pleasure don't forget watch Tulsa King season three I go back to work in a couple of weeks on season four. And also, you will be reffing the Heritage Classic between Edmonton Oilers and Montreal Canadiens next week.

Thank you. Pleasure. Don't get up. God bless. Thank you.