Fitzdog Radio - Neal Brennan Episode 1130

Episode Date: March 11, 2026

Subscribe to Greg Fitzsimmons: https://bit.ly/subGregFitz Greg Fitzsimmons sits down with longtime friend and comedy powerhouse Neil Brennan (co-creator of Chappelle’s Show and host of Blocks). What starts as a conversation about stand-up quickly turns into a deeper discussion about purpose, aging, and the strange psychology of comedy. They talk about life on the road, jealousy in the business, why success never feels the way you think it will, and what happens when the things that used to drive you stop working. Greg opens up about starting therapy again as he approaches 60, while Neil questions the entire idea of ambition and meaning in comedy. Along the way they get into family, mortality, the loneliness of stand-up, and one moment Greg had performing for his son that still haunts him.A funny, thoughtful, and surprisingly vulnerable conversation between two comics who have been doing this long enough to start asking what it’s all really for. This show is produced by Gotham Production Studios and part of the Gotham Network. https://www.gothamproductionstudios.com/studios/ Follow Greg Fitzsimmons: Facebook: https://facebook.com/FitzdogRadio Instagram: https://instagram.com/gregfitzsimmons Twitter: https://twitter.com/gregfitzshow Official Website: http://gregfitzsimmons.com Tour Dates: https://bit.ly/GregFitzTour Merch: https://bit.ly/GregFitzMerch “Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons” Book: https://amzn.to/2Z2bB82 “Life on Stage” Comedy Special: https://bit.ly/GregFitzSpecial Listen to Greg Fitzsimmons: Fitzdog Radio: https://bit.ly/FitzdogRadio Sunday Papers: http://bit.ly/SundayPapersPod Childish: http://childishpod.com Watch more Greg Fitzsimmons: Latest Uploads: https://bit.ly/latestGregFitz Fitzdog Radio: https://bit.ly/radioGregFitz Sunday Papers: https://bit.ly/sundayGregFitz Stand Up Comedy: https://bit.ly/comedyGregFitz Popular Videos: https://bit.ly/popGregFitz About Greg Fitzsimmons: Mixing an incisive wit with scathing sarcasm, Greg Fitzsimmons is an accomplished stand-up, an Emmy Award winning writer, and a host on TV, radio and his own podcasts. Greg is host of the popular “FitzDog Radio” podcast (https://bit.ly/FitzdogRadio), as well as “Sunday Papers” with co-host Mike Gibbons (http://bit.ly/SundayPapersPod) and “Childish” with co-host Alison Rosen (http://childishpod.com). A regular with Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Kimmel, Greg also frequents “The Joe Rogan Experience,” “Lights Out with David Spade,” and has made more than 50 visits to “The Howard Stern Show.” Howard gave Greg his own show on Sirius/XM which lasted more than 10 years. Greg’s one-hour standup special, “Life On Stage,” was named a Top 10 Comedy Release by LA Weekly. The special premiered on Comedy Central and is now available on Amazon Prime, as a DVD, or a download (https://bit.ly/GregFitzSpecial). Greg’s 2011 book, Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons (https://amzn.to/2Z2bB82), climbed the best-seller charts and garnered outstanding reviews from NPR and Vanity Fair. Greg appeared in the Netflix series “Santa Clarita Diet,” the Emmy-winning FX series “Louie,” spent five years as a panelist on VH1’s “Best Week Ever,” was a reoccurring panelist on “Chelsea Lately,” and starred in two half-hour stand-up specials on Comedy Central. Greg wrote and appeared on the Judd Apatow HBO series “Crashing.” Writing credits include HBO’s “Lucky Louie,” “Cedric the Entertainer Presents,” “Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher,” “The Man Show” and many others. On his mantle beside the four Daytime Emmys he won as a writer and producer on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” sit “The Jury Award for Best Comedian” from The HBO Comedy Arts Festival and a Cable Ace Award for hosting the MTV game show "Idiot Savants." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I'm going in Guns of Blazineau at Hyena's Comedy Club, sold out last night. See how it goes tonight. And I got a bunch of dates coming up. St. Patrick's Day. Don't forget that. Hollywood Improv, 20th anniversary of the St. Patrick's Day. show. We got Adam Ray performing. We got

Laura Keitling. We got a big surprise guest who is so big we can't advertise him because he's doing a huge theater show soon in L.A. But it's going to be fun. Come on down. Get tickets. Fitzdog.com. Also coming to Janesville, Wisconsin, Bakersfield, California,

Escondido, Boston in the spring. But I just came from Florida. And I spent five days with my mom, which was a joy. She's just a fun, cool person to hang out with. And we went out to a lot of dinners and did crossword puzzles and walked on the beach. It was great. So we're on the beach. And I don't know if I told that.

On Sunday papers, I talked about Florida. I don't remember if I talked about this one guy. We're sitting on the beach in our chairs. And there's two couples in front of us. And it's windy out. And the guy sits down in his chair and then old dude, like 80, gust the wind comes and he falls over backwards in the chair and his legs are in the air. And I think he got the wind knocked out of him and he had his legs up. Everybody's coming over and they're grabbing his arm and they're trying to help him.

He's waving people off. He's humiliated. He wants to get up himself. if it's his last act on this ball of cheese, this spinning ball of cheese, he's getting out of that fucking beach chair. And it took 90 seconds, which doesn't sound like a long time.

It's a long time. And not enough that I pull out. I did not pull out my cell phone and videotape it, and it will be one of the biggest regrets in my lifetime because it would have been the perfect viral video. I could have been huge. I could have broke through. Oh!

What else happened there? Everybody does the same thing. You talk to the old people. Her building is like old people. It's not an old folks home, but it's like a, you know, retirement community. And it's a big building,

cross the street from the beach. And everybody says the same thing. Hey, Billy, this is my son, Greg. Hey, Greg, when did you get here? When you leaving? And this is Robin. Hey, Greg, when did you get here? When you leaving? And then they walk away. It's incredible. They all, you have these 30 second conversations with people in their 70s and 80s. And then they sort of like dart off like there's somewhere more important to be than talking to their good friend Pat's son. Who's a comedian, by the way?

Who's kind of a big deal? Not a big deal. I'm a medium deal. That's how I would describe myself. I started going to a shrink. Yep, I'm that guy. I'm the 60-year-old guy who's trying to figure himself. How sad is that?

It's not sad. Look, we all go. through patches where you're feeling like maybe you're not feeling. Like maybe you're floating through life and you're not engaging in things to the fullest that you could. And I want to be more present. I want to be more alive. Fucking turning 60 next month.

And so, come on. What do we do? What are we doing for the final act? We're going to rage into the dying of the light. Was that Blake, the poet Blake? Rage! Rage into the dying of the light. So I went, I've had shrinks before.

I had one when I was in my 20s. Her name was Sheila. We were in New York City. And I started seeing her, and it was like a sliding scale. I think I was paying like 50 bucks a session or something. and she was just starting out. And she was smoking hot. She looked like a young Merrill Streep.

And she would come in and she would sit cross-legged in a skirt, a fairly above-the-knee skirt. And we would, I got raw with her. And we got honest. And we broke some boundaries. Like, we were on the upper-react. side and I live downtown. We would get on this, we would walk to the subway and get on the subway together and go downtown. She came to one of my comedy shows. Do you know what a violation? Is it a

HIPAA? She violated something. And I told her once during a session, she goes, what are you feeling? And I said, I feel like I want to have sex with you. And she blushed. And she said, we can't do that. And I didn't throw the move. I looked. back on my life, not videotaping the guy falling in the beach chair and not making a move on Sheila. It might be my two biggest regrets. I'm not buying a Bitcoin when it was about $400 and my chiropractor told me to get in. He said, put 10 grand in there. I'd be fucking rich. Rich, I tell you. Anyway, I want to talk also about this time of the year. Tempo, oh my God, Tempo delivers you fresh chef-crafted dietitian-approved meals right to your door.

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Go to Tempomeels.com slash Fitzdog. That's Tempomels.com Fitzdog slash Fitzdog for 60% off your first box. Do it. My guest today is a very dear friend. I've known him for 30 years. He used to be the doorman at Boston Comedy Club on McDougal Street in the village. And he got to know Chappelle really well, co-created the Chappelle show, and half-baked. he wrote with him.

He's got a great podcast called The Blocks podcast. One Man shows that have been on Broadway, not Broadway, off Broadway, and on Netflix. That were great. You know, I'm from The Daily Show. Trevor's friend Neil used to be on their leg every week. We had a really good chat. You got deep. At a certain point, he took over and started interviewing me.

And we go pretty deep. I hope you enjoy it. Here's Neil Brennan. Welcome to the podcast. Neil Brennan is here. He is award-winning model, hand model, foot model. I'm not going to bail you out of this. Oh, Jesus Christ.

Thanks for coming in. I know that I did not expect you. I very rarely do Zoom. interviews with people because it just feels kind of disconnected and whatever. But I reached out to you thinking you were in New York and we were going to do a Zoom interview because I like you that much as a guest. I love it. And then you go, I'm here and I was over the moon. Let's go. What are you doing in town? I'm directing a commercial. You are? For what? A Australian phone company. Yeah.

So. How many days of shooting? Two days of shooting. Any big stars in it? No, well, I can't say. But the director of photography, this is the thing I'm most excited about, is a guy named Janish Kaminsky who was the director of photography on Schindler's list and saving private Ryan. Oh, right, right.

That's where our business is. Well, it's always been like, they always do commercial. Yeah. But every once in a while, I'll get like a crazy. As soon as you said, Kermitska, I was like, wait a minute. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm like, I've, we scouted the other day and I was already like, you know, it's great.

That's amazing. Yeah. So fun. Yeah. And I got to shit on a movie that he made. Which one? I'm not going to say. But I said, that movie's no good without you.

And all of his grips and gaffirs were like, no, it's great. did I and Janish was like I didn't understand it when I read it I saw um hamnet last night have you seen that yet no dude it's so good devastating okay it's devastating okay it's devastating yeah I sat on the couch with my daughter and my wife well it's about a kid dying right yeah yeah so that will do it especially what are you what's happening I don't know I'm just feeling it I was feeling what I was feeling last night and then I feel like you pulled out of the emotional moment. Yeah, because I didn't see it.

I wasn't there. Should we watch it now? I love it. That would be a great podcast. Just me and you crying. A couple of Irish guys that shoved down their emotions. Years of it all comes pouring out. Not me.

I did, but then I monetized it with emotional stand-of-special. That's right. The third mic. That's right, guys. That's where the real money is. Yeah. It's where you got to get. We're the, that's the div.

That's the moneymaker. It is like, I find that with stand-up, like, I went down. I was in Lexington, Kentucky last weekend. So it's like one of those- I'd say going down is right. Go ahead. It's one of those gigs. No, it's a fun little, do you ever play comedy off-Broadway in Lexington?

I've heard of it. It's just like a really, it's like you're in the pocket, you know? Got it. You're just like, you feel like you can, they're supportive. They love to laugh. It's a second-tier, third-tier city. so they're really grateful that you came to them. So anyway, I started going down.

But it is a good, I've heard good things about the club. It's Paul Riser's headshot is on the wall. That's how long this club has been around. And so I started talking about, like, running away when I was a teenager and being beat by my father. And like, stuff that I had no plan, but it was like, I just started kind of free flowing because I felt so comfortable. I'm in Kentucky. Yeah. Right.

Talk about Kentucky stuff. Nobody's going to know. I mean, when you're in a city like that, if you bomb, nobody knows. Yeah, but no, who believed them? Yes. They're like, Greg for Sam's Kuiper here. He was bombing so bad. Come on.

Come on. Define bombing. Was he over your head? You didn't get it. You didn't get it. Big, a lot of big words, two and three syllables. Did he have a political stance slightly different than you? yours.

Did he believe it life doesn't begin? Dude, I do abortion jokes and they went flat. I've never seen abortion jokes do worse than they did in Kentucky. That's very fun. I do this joke about how, like, you guys, like, you can get an abortion here, but it's a race to the clinic. Like you, like the time limit to get it is like 45 minutes. Yeah, that's fun. Like you have to run with jizz running down your leg into the clinic.

You know, I'm liking time. Great. And nothing. Nothing. Then you act like it's a setup for another joke? Exactly. So, yeah, I mean, that abortion's crazy. People got a lot of ideas. I'm in the middle of 10 straight weekends of road work. Okay.

Which I, this is my time of year. Like January to the spring, I work nonstop, and then the summers I take off. And then halfway through, I'm about seven weeks in right now, and I start to get depressed. I start to, like, hole up in the hotel room. Yeah. And then the stand-up's not great because I'm not really accessing the emotions as much. So is that where you've, oh, the stand-up, like, not your writing. It's like the actual performance. No, the performances are okay, but I'm not writing as much as I should be.

Like, I come back after 10 weeks and I'm like, wow, you probably have a new 45, right? It's like, no, about 10. Yeah. You know, because you just sort of like, I don't know, getting through the day after the fourth or fifth week starts to be. more of maintenance than growth. You're just trying to... You know, you and I both have depression and he did a fucking show about it.

Fuck. So, you know, you go out there and you got to protect yourself from life on the road of like being put in a hotel where you get there and you go like, where's the restaurant? We don't have a restaurant. But we're in like an office park.

There's like nothing to walk to. And you look at the club owner like, what was your plan for me eating for these three days? Did you think out like... And he goes, how old are you? I don't know, what was your plan for you eating? Why is it his responsibility? Hey, who's going to feed me, mister?

What am I supposed to do? Grub hubbit three times a day for three days? And then you don't know, are they coming up to the room? Do I got to go down to reception? Go to the lobby. You don't want them knowing what room you're in. It's too much... You don't, they'll break in.

They'll steal your... I want a fucking restaurant in the hotel. They'll steal my jokes. Yeah, they, they, they, yeah, I hear you. Yeah, the road's not enjoyable. No. I mean, it can be, but it's like it, if you're, the bad hotel road is like, yeah, yeah, this is no good.

Yeah, and then it's also a matter of if you work the club regularly, then at least you got some familiar faces and you feel like you know the lay of the land. Maybe there's some audience members that come back that you get to know. That makes it, that makes it a lot more doable. And also, I won't do connecting flights anymore because that's a whole day each way. Yeah. Don't. Don't do it. It's a deal breaker. Yeah. For what? Yeah. Where am I going? You guys couldn't get a fucking international airport. Call me like, call me when you get in a, call me when you have any, you couldn't, you, no one wants to go directly to Los Angeles or New York. Nobody. bloody. Yeah, right.

Yeah, they want to go to Chicago and then they go to your town. Jesus. Yeah. Right. Yeah, that's an issue. Yeah. Let's talk about not stand-up. All right. Let's talk about the Olympics. I haven't seen a frame of it other than Cash Patel, Olympic gold winner. Oh, yeah. Cash Patel, who has a little bit on his plate right now, is suddenly in Italy drinking beer with the hockey team. Yeah.

I mean, the Chappelle had a joke about Hershey Walker that I think applies to Cash Retail, which is he is, he is observably stupid. Yeah.

You look at him, you go like, that guy. Yeah. Like, you can tell by looking at him, which is a stereotype. But like,

he just does not look. Like, if he came out of the manager's coming, and then he comes out, you're like, fuck. Yeah. manners are on his way and then he comes out

with the eyes and everything right right but I think that's true for a lot of the administration right I think it's all the entirety of the administration I think he's hiring people that if they don't do what he wants they get fired and they have no other options they have no other options that's correct now having said that I believe that a lot of the people I think most of Congress is

was like relieved that the that the Supreme Court stopped the tariffs yes i think they're all they're all but it's a hostage situation at this point and they're just hoping like someone please stop this guy because if i try i'll get primaried and i actually think they're more worried about getting violence visited upon them then right i really believe that like there it is january 6th like they would have killed ted cruz they would have killed mike pent they would have killed anyone they get their hands on. So I genuinely believe that most of them are scared. So they're just stuck.

You mean in the sense that the tariffs are going to hurt local business? It's going to make them at their Congress person. Yeah. So it's going to. So they're like with any of this stuff, they're like, it's such a big deal for them to say like, no, I think we should stop pedophilia. This is, I come to you with a head. This was a tough decision for me. But I'm against pedophilia.

Oh, like that's how bad it is. Yeah. That they're afraid to say I'm anti-pedified. Yeah. So their hope. I mean, that's why some of them are retiring. They're just like, fuck it. Yeah.

This is unbearable. And they're also having to stand behind abortion being made illegal when they know 70% of the country wants it. They're 90% of the country wants health care, well, health. healthcare and and they're just standing there going like what do I even stand for anymore. Well, they stand for whatever's going to get. I mean, the issue is they it's yeah, it's like how many people in their district will they vote. It's like more complicated, I think a little bit. But like, but there is this you ever have a boss that's kind of crazy and they have bad ideas and you're like, I wouldn't do that.

and they're like, we're doing it. And you're like, okay. And you just kind of have to sit back and wait for them to realize. Yeah. That's what I think is happening. And you can't remind them later that it was your idea. You have to act like you can't, you're surprised. Yes.

Well, that's kind of the thing now. S&L did a good sketch the other night. And they don't do a lot of them. I mean, I really do try to watch S&L just out of curiosity. And, you know, there's always a couple really talented people. and there's always a couple smart premises, but the execution is usually so linear and it's sometimes just the same beat five times

and then there's no ending. But they did a really funny thing about this mother realizing that Trump was not doing a job. And I was like, all right, that was smart. And I think the spirit of it is we can't give people shit for coming to their senses. Yeah, I got people got mad at me for that. But I don't know, a month ago, three weeks ago, I just said like stop yelling at people

that are admitted they made a mistake. Yes. Even if they promoted Trump, had them on their podcast, if they're now like, yeah, I was wrong, you have to go welcome. Yes. You cannot scold them. And liberals, you know, you're not going to believe this. You know what liberals did when I posed it.

They scolded me. Unbelievable. I nobody saw it coming. Really? Were they sensitive? they they why just I just threw up um that's the thing about my podcast a lot of the guests will throw up they will throw up um the yeah so it was they can't help themselves and then i had to individually people would DM me and i go so how do you how do liberals win another election

if they're going to yell at the people who are trying to be on their side and no one has an answer And finally like, and then I looked it up on chat, GBT, and it was, I was writer than I thought I was, which is rare. Because I already think I'm 100% of it. It was like, what happens when you try to scold someone who agrees or like, does scolding ever work? Yeah. And it was like, people get entrenched in their old point of, like, they get defensive. It's like, it's why liberals just lose and lose and lose because they can't go. go, hey, welcome, have a seat. Yeah, you change your, you were wrong. It's fine. It's fine.

Like, we want your vote. You can pick up two votes with that, like a negative, you know what I mean? And it's also going on the road, I talk to people and you realize like the Democrats like to fucking say they're all dumb. They're all stupid. Yeah, they don't, they don't understand what's wrong with that. Like you can't say people are deplorable or like that voice I did earlier of the Kentucky, not good. No. We're going to edit that out. Not a good voice.

Make it like British, if you can put an app. But you meet individuals on the road in Kentucky who think different than you, and you realize, like, oh, yeah, it's like when people talk about how monkeys and humans share 99% of the same DNA. We're like that. The different parties, like, we all want the same fucking thing. There's a couple window dressing issues that have been shoved in our faces by our own bubbles. and I mean the fact that like I go on stage and I talk about being from California and people boo and I go, why are you booing? And they go, fucking Gavin Newsom.

And I'm like, well, what did Gavin Newsom do to you? What decision in his life affected you in any way? And you hate the biggest state in the country with the fourth largest fucking economy in the world. Yeah. And it's because they've been told this one thing. and, you know, homelessness. Meanwhile, it's all people from your state.

Exactly. I do a whole bit about that. Yeah. Right. I'm doing a bit about it now, too. You and I have had similar bits in the past. We had one, right? We had one about the war in Israel.

I like Palestine with the points. Yep. Did it. Yeah. I have a better version now. That you'll never think of it. What is it? Because you're simple-minded.

I'm not going to tell you. I'm not going to tell you. Come pay like everybody else. Come see the special that I haven't decided what I'm going to make. Yeah. Yeah. So, but they can't not, they don't want to win. They just want to scold people.

It's like, you're not going to persuade. You have to persuade them. They're too smug to persuade. Yeah. Too smugged. They refuse. It's not my job to teach you. It's absolutely.

Absolutely your job to teach me. If you think I'm, if you want me to do something, I'm not just going to do it because you're my mom. You're not my mom. Yeah. Sorry for you. You're not my mom. Do you think this also? I'm sorry you're not my mom?

I'm sorry you're not. You'd have a lot. You'd have a nice. My mom lives by herself 92. No way. Yeah. Lives by herself. And you have 10 siblings?

Yeah. And is anybody nearby to keep an eye on her? Yeah. No, no, there's a couple. My sisters. You know, women will sisters. Yes. Women will do the family, like, sort of generational care thing.

It's usually the youngest one that has to stay behind and take care of the mom. Is that the case? It's the youngest and the oldest. We doubled up. We got back up. Do they feel resentful that they're, doing all the work? They don't have to do anything.

She lives by herself. Really? Yeah, it's like she still drives, I think. No. Yeah. You got to stop that. No, no, no, no. Take her in Villanova, Pia, go, go drive.

Drive around. You should be all right. You'll see a Chevy Nova with hazard lights on. Yeah, I mean, yeah, so, yeah. So she's, I asked her if she was going to go to assisted living, and she was like, no. And I was like, why not? She's like, I just don't want to be with all those people. And I was like, oh, you're the antisocial one?

I thought it was my dad who was the asshole. Turns out I get it from both sides. Wow. Does she have friends or they all die? Yeah, they, but no, they're mostly died. Yeah. That's mostly died, this funeral, that funeral. Right.

Like, it's old. Uh-huh. Like, there aren't many people statistically over 90 or over. So when you talk to her, like, what is she? she have to talk about. Well, you know what's interesting? You say talk. It's at this, it's yelling.

Right. So it's, because she can't, so you just have to go like, I love you. And it sounds hostile. Because you're like, no. But, but yeah, we talk to her. It's just, you know, it's just your basic, your basic stuff. Yeah. It's like literally like local.

Right. I did a commercial with a guy who played for Villanova. She's like, did you have fun on the commercial with? Yep. Yep. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's just like, it really is a bit.

I mean, yeah, it's a bit like the, you know, you become the, they become the child. Yeah. It's not that, it's not that condescending. No, but it's, it is in the sense that like, there's a sense of wonder. Like, I'll talk to my mom and she'll be like, first thing out of her mouth. So where are you? And I'll be like, I'm in Lexington. You travel.

Yeah. And it's like, yeah, I know. You say that every time and I'm in a different place. Isn't it crazy? Yeah. I know. But it's also generational. Yeah.

Like that's what they talked about. They were like, they were the small talk generation. Like, I'm sure it was like that forever. But yeah, that's just, they just talked about, they don't have podcasts. They talked to each other They talked to each other about small shit I mean talk about throwing a conversation away Not to not record it

Broadcast it No that's what they talked about Where the weather Yeah The most the basic stuff Well there was I mean somebody had the theory about like You're only supposed to know 200 people

And the business of 200 people You're not supposed to know about what's going on In the Middle East or who's starving in the Sudan What I do is I I'm aware of it, but I don't care. Good for you. Yeah. That's my hack.

Yeah. Just freeze it. Bring it in. Shrink it down. I read it and then I tear it up. I print the paper out and then I toss it in there and go, whoops, don't care. Whoops. If I care, I'd tell a joke about it.

You do care after, you do care, but after a while, you just, it, you literally reach a point where you just go, oh, I don't. I did a joke about it where it's just like, you do care. you're like, oh, that's a, and then you just go, oh, I don't care. Yeah. You can, you can only, it's like saying no to people. You can, if five people ask you to do a podcast that you don't want to do in a day, trust me, I would know. If I, no, but five people ask you, on the fifth one, you're going to, okay.

Yeah. You can only like, be that after a while, like, you, it's just a finite resource. So I'm number five. You're number one. I love it. Come on. I love it. Come on.

But talking about talking to parents, though, sometimes I break through. Like, my mom is 83. And, you know, it is like she's fun. I actually love talking to her. But then once in a while, it really does go deep and profound. Like, you know, my father died when he was young. And it was a very sudden death. He had a heart attack in a restaurant at Rayos in Harlem.

And... Didn't affect Greg one bit. Go ahead. Oh, my God. I didn't think it did as much as it did. He realized his residual shit. He was 53. Yep.

And so it was a sudden heart attack, and I remember talking to my mom. She called me to tell me, and she said, we're in the hospital. It doesn't look good. And I'm on the phone going like, what the, I'm talking to the doc. And the doctor goes, no, he died at the restaurant. But she couldn't wrap her head around it. So we were watching. know if you saw succession, but remember the father has a heart attack on the boat?

And they're all in complete denial about it. It was the same thing. And we watched it. And it was so, I mean, the episode for anybody was very intense. But for us, it suddenly triggered this, like, we both just started crying. And she had to leave the room. And then she came back. And it was the first time in whatever it was, 40 years since it had, 30 years since it happened, that we talked about him dying. I mean, it's very Irish. Watching the succession episode? Once it ended, we talked about,

she told me the details of what happened that night, how she was feeling, how she handled life afterwards. And it was like this moment that I was so glad we'd had that conversation because who knows how many years she's got left. And we would have never had that conversation. I never would have known how she was feeling

and what was going through ahead when it all happened. So those are amazing times. My mom had one of those. I can't remember. She did say something like my dad said, like he didn't like kids after their 10th birthday or something. It's just one of those like, fuck. Just like she had a, she like let one loose like like that.

Right. But no, they are. It is like a. there's something kind of haunted about it. Yeah. And do they know to not tell you stuff? Do they, are they keeping a secret? Do they even think it's secret?

Like, did your mom, did your mom, when she was telling you about it, was it like, I should have told you this sooner? Or was it? No, I think it was, I mean, you come from an Irish family. I just don't think we talk about emotions a lot. And so... Anger. We talk about. We talk about anger.

Yep. And we romanticize fighting and all that stuff. But sadness and loss are very... I think it was just buried down. And I think that that episode, which is an argument for art in general, you know, makes you feel, makes you communicate. And I think that that show just broke down walls of having shoved it down for so many years. What did she tell you that was interesting to you? I think she said that she knew she'd never be with somebody else at that moment, and she never was.

What do you think that is? He had charisma like nobody you've ever met in your life. He was just lit up a room. He was just the guy that, you know, he was kind of famous in New York, and we'd walk into any bar, hey, Fitz! And he really was funny and made people feel special and fun. money and he was romantic with her. They went on dates. They had like, they still enjoyed each other. And, you know, so I think every guy she ever met that she would have dated fell short by a lot. So it just never happened. And she felt in that moment that it never would.

What do you make of your, you're not? dad died at 53, you're older than that. What do you make of, what do you make of time and, like, death? Because I get, I'm, I don't think I'm going to die soon, but like, I'm just like, I'm, I'm, I'm aware of it in a way that's like, I haven't before. Yeah. And I'm like, it's not better. Death. To think of it, but, like, having it around. Yeah. It's not like, oh, good. I know. You know what I mean?

It's like a weight. Yeah. And I don't know what to, it's, I don't know what to make of it. Yeah. I think for me, I feel like I'm on bonus time right now because my father's parents died in their 40s. Great. And so there's a lot of heart issues in our family. And, but at the same time, I quit drinking 30 years ago.

I don't smoke. I exercise. I actually, I actually am one of the people that does meditate. Yeah. And, and, you know, I, but at the same time, I feel like outliving your parent is really fucking weird. The year that I turned 53 was I really felt it that year. And since then, I've kind of moved past it. And I realize I'm a different person and I'm in a different, he was also very stressed out.

Yeah. And your mom's not 80, so. Yeah, right. But I'm, I'm ready for death. Like, I don't. Really? I don't, yeah, I don't, I don't, I welcome death. Like, I don't, yeah, I'm tired.

Well, that's what I wanted to talk to about me. No, but that's what I, it is like, is that what happens? When you die, does that prepare you for death? No, no, like just being tired and being like over it or sort of like, you, it's a, it's a joke. It's like, I've had every night. I know what's going to happen. Yes. knowing what's going to happen or, you know, within reason.

Yeah. Is like, is even the road. It's like I used to go on the road like for to like for to get late. I mean, get laid is a big word. But like, but like I have, I'm basically married. So it's like the idea of like going on the road and like what am I doing? Mm-hmm. What am I in?

I'm doing money and like the the exchange is I just, I wonder. once you've done a bunch of stuff and like I wonder what it'll feel like if I do this in life and then you do it and you're like, oh. Yeah. Kind of like life before. Right. Like very little of it exceeds expectations. Yeah.

And I think that for me, I always wrote for TV as well as doing stand-up, so it broke it up. And now I haven't written for a TV show since the pandemic. So I've just been on the road. and I think that that's put me into a headspace of like, yeah, the expectations are the reality. There's no curveballs anymore, you know, especially when you're, you know, I'm married. I don't drink. I'm not fucking around. And so going back to the room and watching Netflix or scrolling is getting pretty tired. And I just started therapy again yesterday because I'm turning 60 in a month and I'm looking at this last phase of my life. My kids are growing up. I'm not in charge of them anymore. that that's over my marriage could not be better absolutely 100% love it but career wise i mean i don't want to

retire but i want to change gears i'd like to maybe take the podcast i don't want to retire but i don't want to do it be in comedy anymore yeah right right so you what what i'm tired of being funny i'm so tired of this burden yes um this incredible burden yeah um No, the comedy I love, it's the traveling that sucks. Yeah. And I also wish that at this point I didn't still, I'm not a jealous type, but there are moments where I'm on the road and the ticket sales are low, and then I see that so-and-so is in town playing an arena.

And you go, I'm funnier than that guy. Yeah. I know I'm funnier than that guy. What the fuck? Like, I wish I could let go with that. and just go, there's a million comics wishing they were at this comedy club on the road right now, making what I'm making. Yeah.

And I wish I could, if I could embrace. $3,500 for the weekend. Is that on the Q card? Do not put my pay on the Q card. $3,500. No bonus. I just got screwed on a bonus recently. And my agent called the club and he goes, that, my agent goes, what the fuck?

And they mailed me a fat check. They didn't give you the, they didn't give you the bonus. They tried to fuck it. They paid me five times the bonus because they felt so bad. Oh, that's good. But the point is, Neil, I'm in therapy and I'm trying to figure out what the final act is at this point. Right. How do I stay creative in a way that still gets me excited?

And I think stand up on the road is not getting me as excited as it used to. Well, yeah. I mean, and what got you excited about it back before? Oh, everything. I mean, we talked earlier about, like, comedians you looked up to and revered. Like, I saw the guys that went on the road and, you know, being a struggling New York comic and seeing Brian Regan go out and play these different cities and you hear stories about it. And then to come back and you go like, oh, that's what you do. You, like, stand up has always felt like a privilege. From the first time I stepped on stage in an open mic night, I felt like I am so graced to get this 10 minutes of people.

paying attention to me to do what I want to do. And I've always felt like that. So I think maybe I'm not feeling like that as much when I'm on the road a lot. Like, I don't think I want to do 10 weeks in a row. I think a week or two on, a week or two off would make it where I would still be more present. And do you want to, so you like being created, even the idea. of like being creative and it is interesting to like what to do with your time yes it's just it's a bit of like uh huh because most of what we consider like purpose or drive or ambition is like necessity

yeah and then if you get to the point where like you got a rental property plus plus your own property plus your rent one out for the sign little for the vig talking about you or me you don't You ever run the property? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, what do you? So now it's just a matter of, like, doing it for what? It's just, it gets a little like. No, it was always like, look, I had fucking kids, man.

I mean, I was grinding and I was scared. And, you know, I hate that fear was such a big motivator for me in my life. Like, I look at some people that do it in an interesting way. And you're included in this. People that, you're like, no, they carve a path that's based on, you know, more of a aesthetic. Like, what do I want to do creatively and say and all that? And I think maybe in this phase, I want to explore that a little more than I did when I was operating out of fear so much. Yeah.

Well, and then, well, yeah, that's a whole other thing, which is like, and is it a worthwhile thing? what the thing you're pursuing yeah any even that's like overstated like even the even the like the deification of any

or like the the the importance of it or the it you know once it's like just a thing you flick past yeah which isn't to say like

it was important it seemed more important right but now that like you know the smoke is cleared a little bit and you're like well yeah

because I think you have to within who you are. I mean, some people are not meant to go up and do a Bill Hickset. Right. And I think a lot of people feel like that's what we all aspire to be. And it's like, no, Gabriel Iglesias is going out and he's doing silly comedy and he's fucking killing. He's bringing a lot of joy to people and that's what he's meant to do. Yeah. And I think we have to look at ourselves that way and say, what's, you know, why am I judging myself against, you know, what other people might be doing that's more significant or more culturally. It's like how often you think about Hicks?

Right. I say this all the time. It's like I love comedy. I haven't watched the Richard Pryor set in 20 years. George Carlin, I'll see a clip every once in a while. Even prior I'll see a clip and like, cool. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like, and it was incredible. And Richard. Okay. The only one that makes me feel like that still, well, two people, Norm MacDonald and Don Rickles are still the guys that I watch and go, what the fuck? This is, this makes me happy. Oh, I'm not saying it's not great.

Yeah. It is great. No, but I'm not saying great. I'm saying it moves me every time. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And what do you, so that's what you're, so that's, your aspiration is like, I would like to be

able to do something that moving or I would like to. I would be, I would like to be as authentic. authentic as those two guys. They are literally doing what is inside of them that is an expression of their humor without trying to please or conform or succeed. You know, I mean, not that they're not trying to succeed, but it's very much on their own terms. Yeah. I guess it's, my question is the why.

the if it's if it's for attention if it's to fulfill something right it's like well what if I what if I do that what if I fulfill it and then I don't need to do comedy then it's then you're then you have 24 hours a day and you can only sleep like 13 or 14 hours but that is the thing is like the people that go from project to project look at Sandler right I mean not that that guy he's made some very artful movies but for the most part he's putting out entertaining movies and he's driven to continue

he finishes one he's already I've heard the stories about he's in his trailer filming and he's writing the next one and he doesn't seem stressed about it it seems very organic to who he is he's you know I know people that tour with him and he's having a fucking blast

but what is it that gets him out of bed to do it the next day? You know, is it for, is it selfish? Is it, you know? It's just like, yeah, the desire to the, he's fulfilling, he's filling, he's filling something or fulfilling or feeling or, and I don't want to put it in like a psychological, like, Adams at a deficit. Like, I don't, I'm in the same, but it's some kind of deficit. Oh. But yeah, I'm just like, what's the, what is it? What are we all? What are we doing? What are we doing?

What do we do? It's just, that's the other thing. It's like, if you do it long enough, you're like, what am I? Right. What is this? Yeah. What am I? This thing's making me itchy.

But there's something. Yeah. I got to get away from this. Yeah, it's, it's bad. It's giving me the ick. Yeah. But if you spill something on it, including hydrochloric acid, it will not damage it. At all.

It won't go through it. It'll damage the act. asset. Yeah. Is it my in focus? But I mean, it's the same with the relationship. You know, it's like,

what am I doing? Why am I conceding things I want to do in my life? Why am I compromising to to further a relationship? That's easier to understand to me. That's like connection.

Yeah. Right? Like, that's just connection. And like, what happens in comedy is like a lot of times I'm like well I'm not going to stop because I don't want to it's like someone so is going to get satisfaction meanwhile no one's spending attention yeah but relationships are like they're rewarding to they get more rewarding I think whereas comedy it's like it's harder it's harder and the uh and no one cares

Yeah. It's like in it's the inverse of relationships in a lot of ways. And if you care that people care too much, you're fucking lost. When I see people that are that consumed in their fame and their success, I just think what else? What's missing in your life? Like, who are you letting down? They don't, they just, they just, they just, people just put it all in in work. Yeah.

And then, I mean, it's just taking me so long from, I talking about myself. It's taking me so long to realize, like, there's not a lot of camaraderie. In comedy? Yeah. We have camaraderie. I agree. But, like, that's pretty rare. Yeah.

I just started, like, I used to think of, like, clubs as, like, a clubhouse. Yeah. And now I just recently started thinking of, like, this is, like, base camp at Everest. It's just a bunch of people like, when am I going up? Yeah. When am I going up? And as someone falls, that. Don't look down.

They don't, like, I'll give you a pull from my air one. You get one. Okay. Like, that's all you're getting in this, in this club that we're all in. And it's taken me so. And there's no rope connecting us all as we go up the hill. There's no rope. Or it is, but it's connected to nothing.

Like, don't pull it because you're like, oh, fuck. So, but it's taking me until three weeks ago, two weeks ago to come up with that analogy. Really? Yes. Okay. Because I was still like, we're gonna, and then, yeah, it's never, it's been proven over and over and over. It's not that. And I'm still like, it's that dumb. That's why I'm so against reverence. Yeah. Because all the reverence I had and this guy and then David Letterman, just whatever all this, and then it just, it's just, yeah. Have them, they die. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. David Steinberg.

Like, when I listen to his albums, I really think to myself, why did I have David Steinberg on? Did he write a book or something? It's a really, that guy's gone. That's a real character arc. It started with the David Steinberg's, and now he's like, why did I have David Steinberg on?

40 minutes later, he's like, can I just stop this, Fuck David Steinberg. No, I'm not shitting on him. I'm just wondering what brought him in my scope. He must have, I must have been offered him by a publicist. And I went, David fucking, like, when I was coming up, David Steinberg was like, you know, he was producing one of the big comedy. Like, remember there was all those stand up series like comedy on the road.

Yeah. He was producing one of those. And that's how it was such a big deal to get that credit back then. you know, to get, because I didn't have any credits. Right. And he was a gatekeeper. So. Right. There are no gatekeepers. So, so that I, I'm questioning like this, the significance of all of it.

And, like, having a partner and she's got a kid and, like, that being more meaningful. Yeah. Like, oh, oh, this is. Tony Rock one time said, like, his daughter loves him the way. way he wanted everyone in the world to love him. And I know what he means. Yes. I'm like, oh, okay.

Yeah. But it must be weird to like, it must be a gear shift to go like, okay, I got to do, if it's not to support that person. I'll tell you the converse of that or the inverse of that, which is my son was about 15 and I was in Denver and I had the family with me because we were going to. to go skiing after I did the Comedy Works. So my daughter was too young, so my wife took my daughter out to eat. My son came to the Comedy Works, which is, you know, arguably the best club in the country,

top three clubs in the country. And so it's a Saturday night, sold out show, and they see them right in the middle of the crowd, bring them a Pepsi, they bring them some fucking chicken wings. And, you know, the Comedy Works always has like two or three really good comics that go on first. And then I come up. And you know how it is. when there's somebody significant in the audience,

there's another gear that you hit when you start doing well, where you don't just accept this is good. You go, no, I'm fucking good. So I annihilate. And then I get off and we walked down to get a slice of pizza. And he started saying things to me like, that was amazing. Like, I haven't laughed at.

He was saying things that like a stranger would say to me after the show. Hilarious. And I felt 15. And I felt. crushed and I felt disconnected and I felt like I had just cheated him and tricked him because that part of me is the projection of me that I give because I'm afraid of people seeing who I really am. On stage you?

Yes. And my son. Your son was like, why isn't this at home? Right. Interested that really was. He was kind of like, eh. No, I don't think that as much as. he saw behind the curtain.

And I didn't, I wanted him to love me for teaching him how to play catch, doing his homework with him, wrestling with him. I want him to love me for the consistent love. I didn't want him to think more of me because of this trick

that I do for strangers. Interesting. And do you, are you right? What do you think of that now? Well, maybe that goes back to me feeling some dissonance between who I am and what I'm doing on stage. Yeah. I mean, I don't, I, because I'm thinking about my girl son like seeing me, like, he'll watch.

She's like, he wanted to watch you be silly. So I don't want to watch a clip. And, uh, it's like so sweet to me. But I, so I don't, I, I can't. Do you really think he thought more of you? Or he was just like, oh, that's cool. It wasn't more. It was just that.

Which is why your daughter's never seen you do stand. Well, they both regret it. You caught her watching her, you're special, and you beat the shit out of her. So that you could never feel whatever that feeling was again. Yeah, she can never watch comedy at all. Yeah. No, I think it was just, I don't know. I guess my need for love from an audience.

is different than my need for love from him, and I didn't like the two intersecting. Well, one of them's gross. Yeah. Right. You know what I mean? Like, that's maybe the thing that you were like, because, I mean, you could make a case of, like,

you were ashamed that you, his love wasn't enough if you want to play psychiatrist. I'm not going to prescribe, but we'll do a psychologist. No, I felt, I feel a hundred percent love for my son. I don't question that. So I think it was more that stand-up comedy is a dominance of the audience. It's not a communication. There's no parody.

And I feel like I raised him to feel equal to me. I didn't ever try to make him feel like a kid that I was in charge of. And maybe the dynamic that I have with the audience in stand-up, I didn't want him to be in that. I don't want him looking up to me afterwards. Like, wow. Hey, that was, that was great. This is a very subtle problem.

This is, because, like, meaning like, I'm like, I can't even really track your logic on this. I can't either. I can't explain my reaction to him. Guys, sound off in the comments. What's happening? What, please make sense of this. DM Owen Fitzsimm, ask him what he was really feeling that night.

It's not about what he was feeling. It was never about him. It's always about you. If you can believe it. Your feelings are mostly centered around you. It's one of those rare, rare instances. Yeah, right. I'm like truly kind of dumbfounded where I'm like,

you're mad. You felt gross. Did you let on yet you felt gross? No. Till today. I think I just felt like distant from him. Because I think maybe I don't know. I don't know.

The more I talk about it, the more muddled it gets. I'm just telling you, Neil Brennan. He was muddled from the beginning. I'm just telling you a human experience that I had. Fine. And now you're making me feel like a crazy narcissist. It's not even narcissists. I don't really think it's narcissism.

I was selling the joke like, was it was it's i i think it's just more like the human experience is like i can't take your word for it i can't take his word for it yeah everyone's just trying to make sense of something right of just like chemicals and what's i yeah um and the comedy works and pizza um don't say pizza we're talking about my kids um so that's funny no we had uh uh but my my wife has never given a shit about my comedy like not the bad way. Whenever my girl comes, it's like, or I'll send her clips or whatever and she'll be like, I feel like we're on the same side. Yeah. It's never like, if she's like it was great, I don't think it's like she's in the audience. Yeah. I think she's

seeing it from like from my point of view. Right. Like how that went well. Right. That new joke worked. I feel like that with my wife, but I think with the kids it was different. But my last special I talked about having sex with my wife in depth, and they saw it, and I think they were very uncomfortable with it. So now I don't think they're going to watch a lot more of my comedy. You know what? Good. Everybody's doing their job. Yep.

Two views you're not going to get. You like the house? You like your car, your phone. You fucking piece of shit. How do you think I got it from fucking your mom. Talking about it publicly, shaming this whole family for money. All right, Neil Brennan, you've earned the right to go to the final round. Fastballs with fits.

I love it. What a segment. What a, what a, what a, what a, what is that, five syllables? Fastballs with fits, four. Four. That's the key. I would have gone with two. In comedy, it's, I don't go with maybe.

You want to keep it under three or low. Fastballs. Our new segment, fastballs. Fitzballs. Have you ever been a wrap? Hello, Fitzballs. Fitzballs. I thought about it for eight seconds.

Wow. Beat it. That's longer than I thought about it. No kidding. Here we go. You ever been arrested? Yeah. Underage drinking.

Where? High school? Villanova, yeah. High school, junior year. In the parking lot? No, we got pulled over at like 2.30 in the morning. Idiots. Yeah.

Were you driving? No, I didn't drive. until I moved. So they basically, did they write you a ticket or did they bring it to jail? Yeah, I know we had to go to the jail and like, I think my mom came and picked me up and I had to go to like alcohol education. No way. It actually worked. It was like very.

Yeah. Very like I never really. I didn't, I didn't love drinking anyway, but it was like, oh, this is, once they said alcohol is a dehydrant. I was like, oh, yeah, this is stupid. And you were 16? Yeah. Maybe 15, 16, yeah. Did your dad beat you?

No. Not for that. Like that's... He did beat you. Yeah, it was a good amount of smacking. Did he beat you too much or just right? He didn't... He beat everybody else a lot.

With me, it was like every once in a while. You're the youngest, right? Yeah. He was tired. Punch drunk. Late rounds. It's the 10th round. Have you ever won any awards?

I've won. I got nominated for a bunch of... Emmys. I won. I kind of won for S&L for writing for S&L. Oh yeah?

Kind of. Like, I think maybe I won a Writer's Guild Award. Okay. And just the week Chappelle hosted. And I was, they,

I was, I kind of won an Emmy for that too. Okay. Kind of. But like, I got a certificate, just one of these things of like, I wrote the best sketch. Don't worry about it.

You guys have fun. Yeah, but that weekend update bit was way funnier. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boy, that was, it was weak this week. They're starting to do that Colbert thing where they're really, like, going for the claptor and trying to take big political swings.

And it's like, no, it's got to be funny first, guys. They'll, they'll hear you, I'm sure. When's the last time you apologized? Recently. I remember because I hated it so much. I mean, I apologize to my girlfriend all the time. And I apologize to something work-wise. You know what I do?

It's like if it's close, I'll just apologize for the most people. Although, man, a lady on set got me on the commercial. I just did. She goes, you remind me of Stephen Spielberg. I work with him a bunch. and I'm like on a commercial I'm like oh yeah how and she goes uh well he he's not friendly with the crew either oh really so it was just like why and I was like why I'm I'm I came her to work I don't know anyone like I'd say hi to people yeah I don't what do you want me to

tell me you make people wear a name yeah where people named name so I know their name all right I think it's a nice thing to not enough apparently not according to Lori the script lady know her name because it was on her name tag I know her name because I'll never hire her again because she's on my no fly list you know what you remind me of who Steven Spielberg

David Steinberg David the one of your David Steinberg's proverbially or literally All right finally What is the hackiest bit that you've ever done That's a great question Oh I also won a BET Comedy Award I'm just remembering

Oh, good for you. Yeah, 2004. I won two, and then they discontinued it in the next year. I think... As you're giving your speech, they're in the back. Too many. They're in the back of the one. Hackiest bit.

Well, you know what's funny? You ever do a bit? And then you're like, I was doing the bit where about first class when they closed the curtain. Yeah. And then I just and then I was like, I looked it up in Seinfeld and I'm like, yeah, this is 25 years old. I did it like twice. I was like, you know when you bit it like, you're like, something about this feels familiar. Yeah.

And it was yeah. Yeah. So that it's more like hackiest. I mean, I have a punchline now where I'm like, I'm bloated as a woman. I'm doing a joke about being bloated, which is like, are you really doing a bloated? punchline. But it's literally a bloated punchline. I mean, it's like about like it's so like 1988.

Yeah. But that was 40 years ago. Yeah. Right. But like literally it doesn't feel hacky because so much time has passed. It's cycled back. That like a woman being bloated isn't even really a thing that women talk about anymore. It was like one of the number one symptoms of like period commercial.

Right. Like a tampon commercial, be like bloating and we'd all be like, right, ladies. And now it's back. I brought it back. Neil Brennan, I'm so happy you're in town. Thanks for coming in. Thank you for helping me try to figure out what happened with my son. When Denver Massacre.

I don't think we figured it out, but it's definitely. I think we added it's worse. I think it's more complicated. I literally am going to call my son on the ride home and ask him about that night. Yeah, I don't. It's why he's got nothing to do with it. No, he doesn't. You're right.

You might as well not ask, I mean, yeah, ask yourself. It's between you and you. I didn't want him to idolize me. And I think part, here's what it is. Here's what it is. My father. I'm laughing at how self-important human beings are. Like, you know what it was?

And meanwhile, he doesn't think about it ever. And you're like, you know, but the thing for me with Denver is there was something happened and you're going to be dead. And the thing happened and then and then I was very important. And I remember. You'd be a great therapist. Dust in the wind. You should see patients. I will.

It would actually be the best thing for patients to come in and talk for an hour and you just go like, nobody cares. No, but I mean, it's what I mean, that's so. I just call me today about therapy and I was like, you just repeat shit like an incantation, like a spell. Right. Either change or don't. Right. But all this like, I read a thing about this guy Adler.

There's a book called The Courage to Be Disliked, which is not really apt, well-named, but it's a good, good title. He doesn't believe in trauma. He doesn't believe in, he doesn't really even believe in, like, the past as a script for us. And it's like a funny thing to consider. Yeah. Of like, no, maybe it's just, because that's kind of where I am. Where I'm like, I don't care.

I don't care about my parents. I don't care about it. Whatever. Like, not even, like, fuck me. It's just like, I could be, I can, like, base myself in it or just be like, I don't know. Well, you did. I really did. Yes.

Yeah. and now I just finish basting. Right. But I don't think... And now I'm shitting on anyone who's basing. But I don't think you have to change. I think you have to change the way you're viewing your own life. It's literally what story are you telling yourself?

Right. And the thing that's funny about Denver is you can't even decide. You're like, you know what? No. You know what? New draft. I have a new draft where... As you were as you were shitting on me just now,

it clicked and I figured out what it is and I'm not even fucking telling you. And you think I give a fuck. Goodbye forever. Getting ready for a game means being ready for anything. Like packing a spare stick. I like to be prepared. That's why I remember, 988, Canada's suicide crisis helpline.

It's good to know, just in case. Anyone can call or text for free confidential support from a train responder anytime. 988 suicide crisis helpline is funded by the government in Canada.