Fitzdog Radio - Phil Rosenthal - Episode 1102

Episode Date: July 3, 2025

Host of the longest running show on Netflix, “Somebody Feed Phil”, creator of Everybody Loves Raymond, and all around good dude, Phil Rosenthal returns for a delightful conversation. Follow Phil Rosenthal on Instagram @phil.rosenthal Watch my special "You Know Me" on YouTube! http://bit.ly/FitzYouKnowMe Twitter: @GREGFITZSHOW Instagram @GREGFITZSIMMONS FITZDOG.COM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get unlimited grocery delivery with PC Express Pass. Meal prep delivered. Snacks delivered. Fresh fruit delivered. Grocery delivery on repeat for just $2.50 a month. Learn more at PCExpress.ca. [♪ music playing. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd cheering. crowd Welcome to Fitts Dogg Radio. If things look a little bit different this week, it's because I got a new computer, which has been a nightmare for the last 24 hours trying to sync everything up, but I think we got it. It's weird though, the camera is moving around. That's strange. Oh, it keeps me centered. Oh, that's

interesting. All right. I like that. They've got a little effect you can put on that makes you look better. So how's that? Huh? 59. Look 58. We got a great show for you today. We had an interview yesterday with the great Phil Rosenthal, who is a regular to the show. He's been on several times, created Everybody Loves Raymond. He's worth so much money and he acts like a regular dude. Why is that important by the way? Is that important? It is somehow. I mean then you got Jeff Bezos who I was at his wedding this weekend and I'll tell you something. Oprah fucking ate so much of the buffet that there was barely any room for me and Justin Bieber. So we just made out, because TMZ was there,

and we figured, hey, let's get in on this a little bit. Now, I guess for some people, we like to see conspicuous consumption, like Bezos's, like the Bayes Eye. And it was weird, it was gross, man. Somebody juxtaposed some shots of kids in India at garbage dumps looking for food and Sub-Saharan African refugee camps

and people fighting over a handful of grain mixed with the Kardashians eating lobster and stepping off a yacht. It's so, what a fucking world, man. How do you reconcile these different existences that were each handed in life? You know, I mean, I just saw like, if you make above, if you want, ready for this number?

If you want to be in the top 1% financially in this world, guess how much you need to be making? How about lower? Nope, lower. Lower than that, $32,000. You are in the top 1% of the world. So that makes me feel pretty good. I'm in the, well, it makes me in the top 2% anyway.

If you like the show, spread the word, tell your friends, Fitts Dogg Radio, watch it on YouTube, comment, like it, do all that stuff. We're trying to spread the show. We got next week, Larry Charles will be on the show, who is the one of the original writers of Seinfeld. He directs Curb Your Enthusiasm. He directed Sacha Baron Cohen's movies.

He's kind of one of the great comedic voices of our generation. He's up there. So I'm reading his book right here. You want to hear something fucking crazy? If you think your computer's not listening to you, which it probably is, I was telling somebody about reading Larry Charles's book and how he talks about a scene from there was a TV show called Fridays that had Kramer, what's Kramer's name, Michael Richards was on it with and Larry David was a writer. Anyway there was a scene where Andy Kaufman comes on an episode of the show, and Andy breaks the fourth wall,

and in the middle of a sketch, he just starts saying this sketch isn't funny. He steps out of character. Everything shuts down. There's nervous laughter. The crew doesn't know what to do. It's theater. It's crazy. Anyway, so I'm talking about that.

Get on my Instagram the next day and it shows me that scene that I was talking about from a TV show that was around in 1993. I don't know the year, but it was a long time ago. All right, fine. So maybe. Then I watched, I'm trying to show my kids Woody Allen movies because I feel like they're some of the greatest movies ever made. And, you know, didn't get convicted of anything. Was there any real evidence? I mean, there's, I don't want to get into it, but so I show my daughter Love and Death, which is my favorite Woody Allen movie, and she's dying. She'd just gotten her appendix out.

She couldn't even laugh. It was so funny, so intellectually stimulating and philosophical, and anyway, so I show her that. All of a sudden, I'm getting Woody Allen clips on my Instagram feed. What the fuck is going on? Is this real? It's all happening so fast. There are driverless cars constantly passing me on the street.

If you had told me that what one year ago that there would be a car without a driver I would have said you're fucking crazy and now we're in one of the craziest driving cities in the country and the city is packed with driverless... I don't know I sound like an old man it's all happening too fast slow down anyway I had a nice weekend fell in love with Venice Beach all over again we went to the beach yesterday the whole weekend at the beach went with the the wife we went down to the beach I took some mushrooms with Fitzsimmons, Fitzgibbons, Gibbons and Gubbins were all together. Rode some waves, water was beautiful. Just good chill, good chill hanging out.

Rabi was there. Lot of fun. Got up this morning. Just love Venice, it's just easy. I had nothing to do today except deal with my computer, but I took a little break. I went down, I put on my headphones, I got my bike, I drive down to the beach, I'm waving at neighbors.

Some of them just want me to stop, but I got the headphones in, so I just tapped the headphone and I waved like I'm on the phone. It just wasn't that day. It wasn't the day to stop and chat. It was a different day. It was an active. So I get to the and I get to the beach and I'm watching paddle tennis. I didn't bring my paddle which I should have so I'm just watching the boys play. I stop at the basketball courts. There's some trash talking, white men

can't jump, basketball going on, high quality. I pop over, I get a chair massage, I get a 20-minute chair massage. There's this place that's been on the corner of Windward and the beach for 25 years and it's Chinese massage. You sit out on the boardwalk with your face in one of those chairs and this woman who looks like she weighs about 94 pounds but she has the claws of a fucking reptile. She is like a rock climber. These hands are like the hands of a rock climber and she gets in there and I'm telling you she knew my body better than I, better than my wife does, for God's

sake. And she got into all the pressure points on the back and the shoulder. Anyway, $18 for 20 minutes. Boom. Thank you very much. And I'm laying there and this dude come, my face is already down, but this dude comes in real loud. He goes, all right, who's working?

Yeah, I want a woman. No, you know what? Give me a guy. I got a woman no you know what give me a guy I got a lot of pain I got hit and so he sits down in the chair next to me and he doesn't stop talking the whole time he's moaning really loud and I can hear he's got the thick thick Latino accent and I and I'm just painting a picture of this guy in my head as he's as he's talking it's like oh not too hard not too hard oh no no easy easy I got hit but I don't even know what part of the body

he's talking about that he got hit. But go soft, essay. So I get up and I take a look at him. And there it is neck tattoos. Check. Dodger jersey. Check. The slip-on vans, check. Shaved head, pants that are pants that are too long to be shorts and too short to be pants. You know what I'm talking about. He's a Chicano. He's old-school Chicano. And I just I just I touched him on the shoulder I said good good luck, buddy. And he goes thanks, bro And then I went down to the ocean and I dove in And people say the water is dirty because of the palisades fire. Okay, so what what I'm not gonna live forever I don't want to live forever. I want to live now. I want to live today

I want to feel the fucking water rushing underneath me as I paddle and catch a wave and water rushing underneath me as I paddle and catch a wave and fly across the top with the palms of my hands breaking the water in front of me like Superman. That's what I want. I saw a dolphin go by and you know I can live without the boom boxes. I don't I don't care about your music. Don't impose your fucking music on me, people. Last weekend I was up in Vancouver with Louis CK, did some shows with him, and there's not a better comedian. Hands down, last 20 years, Louis CK is the best comedian

that in the world, and his new hour holds up to any of it. It's so goddamn funny. He's just he's the best. He's total control of what he's doing up there. Facial expressions, pauses, act outs, hard turns, big builds, every facet of comedy he's a master of. Anyway he's got a big tour coming up so go forget my dates go see Louis CK instead. Much funnier than me. Although I fucking tore it up. Not gonna lie to you, I made Louis work. He had to earn it because I only had to do I think I did 15 or 20 minutes. So I was just, you know, old school. Try to bury the guy.

That's my job. That's why he hired me. Make him work hard. Heading off for Austin, Texas this weekend. I'll be at the mothership. And you know what? It's gonna be the fourth, I'm gonna be on stage on the 4th of July.

I don't know what that means. Who comes out? I think it's gonna be the fourth, I'm gonna be on stage on the 4th of July. I don't know what that means. Who comes out? I think it's gonna be the only night of the year that club's not sold out. It's 4th of July, who knows? They love America there. God, they love America in Texas. It's their America.

They've sort of claimed ownership of the flag and the country. And I'm just visiting. I'm just the guy from California. But I got I got some shit. I got some specific Austin jokes I'm going to be talking about. Elon Musk's new car has just got unleashed in the city. You talk about that. Talk about their abortion. There I think they're in every state has a like well

well you can get an abortion here you just got to get it like immediately like the waiting period before is like i think a week in texas you got to you got to basically have sex and then sprint to the clinic with the jizz running down your legs still and just get up in those stirrups and be like get it out but I don't we don't think you're praying I would just in case is this a funny idea if you're having an abortion I think you should still have the gender reveal party but when they pop the balloon instead of blue or red confetti, it's just empty. It just pops. But then it's

a way better pot party, because the couple has that much more money to spend now. They have that much more disposable income. So now the good champagne comes out. Now the lobster tails come out because you're not spending all that shit on a fucking bottle onesie. Or bottle get a real bottle some 15 year old scotch 25 I don't know I don't drink scotch anyway we should get going uh more to talk about next week but for now I will be also in Pottstown, Pennsylvania at Soul Joles July 31st, which is our anniversary. So my wife is pretty psyched.

Point Pleasant, New Jersey at Uncle Vinny's on August 1st and 2nd. La Jolla Comedy Store, August 29th through the 31st. Then I'm coming to Denver, Connecticut, Vegas, Chicago, San Francisco. All the dates are at FitzDog.com. Get some tickets, come out, see some live comedy. All right, my guest today I mentioned earlier is the guy who created Everybody Loves Raymond, and he's run a bunch of other shows. He's also been in movies.

He was in Spanglish. He was in the Simpsons movie. He's been on Curb, 30 Rock. Anyway, real, real smart, good dude, and he's got this show out now, Somebody Feed Phil, which is in its eighth season on Netflix. It's the longest running non-scripted show in Netflix history, and you should check it out.

You're gonna love them. Hang out with me and the great Phil Rosenthal. ["The Great Phil Rosenthal"] Oh, all right, here we go. So that's what we do. When you come on our show. Yeah. The moment you enter the room, the cameras, the everything's already going because you never know you're gonna catch something.

Yeah, like them talking about philandering or their drug use. Exactly. I was going to tell you all about my times with Epstein. Not that Epstein. You know, he got a bum deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You mean with getting murdered? Do you think he was murdered? No!

Yes, yes, yes. That's what I mean. Yeah. I mean, how is it not? How is it not murder? I mean... The tape, the cameras just happened to go off for that amount of time. Yep. It's like the 18 minutes in the water gate thing. Right. And then there happened to be new guards that just took a break as the cameras went down. And the cameras. What a coincidence. And also the contusions of where he hung himself were not consistent with being hung straight up and down. It was more from being strangled from behind.

That's good. I haven't heard that yet. Yeah. But you're insinuating that this is some foul play. I can't have you. I'm not going to sit here and let you impugn. I love conspiracy theories, but I love them as a voyeur. I don't love them as a religion. Like, some people really... And once you go in, once you start with conspiracy theories, if you go too deep, Once you start with conspiracy theories, if you go too deep, always ends up with the Jews. That's the last stop on conspiracy theories. Bastards.

Who, the Jews? Uh, okay. I forgot who I'm with. That's why my career has never taken off in this town. I'm doing everything I can to prevent it. I tell my buddies, look out for this guy, he seems Irish. Speaking of your buddies, I played golf with Greg Garcia the other day, he says hello. He's very nice, I haven't seen him in a long time.

Really? Very nice guy. Yeah. Did you guys used to go to that brunch at... Victor's. Victor's. He came once in a while because he was partners with my dear friend Alan Kirshenbaum. Right, right, right. You knew Alan a little. Yeah, of course. No, very well. He was my mentor when I came out here.

Well, Alan's father. Freddie Roman. Freddie Roman. I think we talked about this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, Freddie was my mentor in New York and then he switched me over to his son when I came out to LA. And yeah, so I love spending time with Greg because we talk about it.

And then Alan's child... Molly. Well yeah, Molly came over... I just saw her two days ago. Did you really? Yeah, she came over, I saw, I went to see her play, she did a Tom Ra- Tim Robbins play at that Actors Gang theater in Culver City. Yeah. And I just wanted to see the play because I know Tim, and so I'm watching it and I'm thinking, this cast is amazing, you know? And then I look at the playbill at the end.

It says Molly Kirshenbaum, and I go, there's not a lot of Kirshenbaums in the world. I go, this is Molly. I hadn't seen her, well, since Alan's memorial where she sang beautifully. And I keep seeing she, it's actually they now. And I went down and said hi to her and it was just a love bomb. And then she came over the house for dinner

with her partner, with their partner. And she's just full of life, just so great. You know, you keep saying she... I know. It's so hard. It's hard for old people. It is. They made it...

They made it... Not they. They made it hard for us. But apparently, the conversation about they, them versus him, her is what is wanted. Yes, exactly. Old people's confusion. Well, because it makes you think about the whole concept, not just the semantics, but the idea of self-identity and how this new generation sees itself as more fluid.

And they're not willing to just be saddled with traditional gender identity. The confusion though is funny. Yes. Like old people get, we can't even, you know, if there's a new remote in the house, it's hard. So this is, you know, every time a new phone comes out, what did they do now? I just got used to this one. And our kids are finally old enough to be our hotline on how to figure all this stuff out. I think my kids have given up on me. Like, yeah, yeah, it's too annoying to teach me. So they'd rather I just sit and mumble. Yeah. Which is coming. Hey dad, dad's faxing. Hold on, we get a message from dad. From his AOL account. Well, it's nice to see you. It's so great to see you. I've been looking forward to it. I love seeing you every time because we have nice

conversations. I mean, we every time because we have nice conversations. I mean, we're going to eat lunch after. Yep. We've decided where we're going. Absolutely. Dr. Sandwich. Dr. Sandwich. With the European Deluxe Sausage. That's the official name, right? European Deluxe Sausage Kitchen. It's an old German butcher. His kids run it now. Oh, the kids run it. Yeah, he's gone. Right, but he was an old German butcher. His kids run it now. Oh, the kids run it. He's gone. Right, but he was an old German fellow. It reminded me of German delis and butcher shops that my parents used to go to in Washington

Heights in Manhattan. There was one there called Bloch & Falk. How's that for an appetizing name? And the stuff in the counter looked like it came from a place called Bloch and Falk. Everything shined. You know that mystery meat with the splotches of fat in it, where you're like, what the hell? It's like this bologna's gone bad, it looks, right? But that, they love it. I love it. You love it too? Yeah, I mean even brisket. Like I love a fatty brisket. I don't mind if I get an entire bite of just fat. That's the flavor. Yeah. Or the bacon.

You're not throwing that the fat part away. No, no, I eat the bacon and then you know like even when you get low-fat turkey meat, it's like no, because I grill it. If you're gonna grill something, it's got to have some fat on it. Of course. Yeah. Otherwise you get dried out scuds. You don't want fat. Right. It's like, no, because I grill it. If you're going to grill something, it's got to have some fat on it. Of course. Otherwise you get dried out scuds. You don't want fat. Right. You get like, you ever had venison? Yeah. It's very tough to cook venison because it's so lean. Or ostrich. I've had ostrich. Did you have it in South Africa? I did. Pretty good, right? Yeah, we went to this place. Who else did you eat there? In South Africa? I told my parents it's like going to the zoo and it's a menu. Yeah well we went to this place outside the game park that was called Carnivore.

Yeah. Because what they do is they have to thin down certain animals in the park to keep the balance. And so you sit there at the table and the waiters come around with skewers and they'll just and they just keep circulating with different skewers and they'll just, and they just keep circulating with different skewers and they go, would you like some crocodile? Would you like some ostrich? Would you like some, what's the buck called? Spring buck. Yeah, I eat that.

Yes. And they're so gorgeous, these animals. The spring buck, yeah, I know. And beautiful and you're like, not anymore. Right. Well, you know, look, it's a happy ending to their life. Appreciate them. Well, yeah, it's better.

I mean, the way they quote unquote farm animals there is very different than the industrial horror show that we do. Yes, yes. I had to catch a chicken for dinner. I was invited to a dinner in the Basque country in Spain. It's on right now. Not that I need to. I haven't seen that. I've invited to a dinner in the Basque country in Spain. It's on right now. Not that I need that. I haven't seen that. I've seen a few episodes. I didn't see that one yet.

They said everybody's bringing something and they told me you're gonna bring the chicken. And so I caught a chicken on a farm. I had to run around like an idiot and try to catch a chicken. Not easy. But if you see the episode, I catch it. You do? I do. It took longer than the time it takes when you see the show. And I'm out of breath. I'm an old man. So I catch this chicken and here's what's interesting.

The chicken doesn't want to be caught. It's running, it's clucking, it's flapping its wings. You know, you're a little afraid. It's acting like a chicken. Is it going to peck at me? Is it, right? Yeah. So you're a little afraid. It's acting like a chicken. Is it going to peck at me? Is it, right? Yeah. So you're a little hesitant.

That's why it takes so long. If you're not afraid, you can probably walk right over and pick it up. But I'm a little afraid because I'm from the Bronx. What do I know from a chicken? Well, you're also, that's your tagline for your show is you're Anthony Bourdain if he was afraid of everything. Yeah, that's still somewhat true. Although I have to say, eight seasons now, you can't help but get a little braver. Right. Because if

our biggest fear is the unknown, when you do something, then now it's known. You're not as afraid. You may not like it, but you're not as afraid. What's the most afraid you ever were on the show? I'll get to that in a second. I'll tell you about the chicken. Oh yeah, please. Cause I was scared of that. Yeah. Do they peck?

Do you even know? They didn't peck me, so I don't know. If I was a chicken, I'd peck the hell out of you. You're trying to crab me. I know what's coming. Well, you're Jewish, so you're used to being the last one pecked. I mean, pecked.

In gym class. That is mean. Why are you so mean? Why do you have to hurt people? I just did a flashback to childhood and cried. Alright, so the chicken doesn't want to be caught, but when you catch it, something odd happens. The chicken, instead of flapping around in your hands like, get me out of here, submits completely. Like, okay, you got me. That was a genuine sadness of grabbing this thing that was so alive and now almost knows it's dead. Like, I guess that's it for me. Okay, make it quick. That was the feeling I got from this bird. And I'm sitting there petting this thing,

and I said, we're not taking this guy. We're not taking this chicken. Really? I'm a total hypocrite. I say it in the show. I'm a total hypocrite. Yes, I will eat the chicken tonight. It ain't going to be my chicken.

And you may catch this chicken later today even, or tomorrow, and kill it, but I'm not the one who did it. Because I had a one-minute connection to this chicken, and the moment you do that and you see your prey, you see, you connect the eyes. Yeah, right. I think if we all had to do that, we'd all be vegetarians. So there's cage-free chickens and then there's fill-free chickens, and then there's fill-free chickens. Yeah, this guy was free for God knows how long.

So I mean, I always think of that because you've got these kids that grew up on farms, and they have pigs that they get very close to. Pigs are very intelligent people, and you really bond with them. You have to kill your friend. You've got to kill your friend. Imagine having to kill your dog.

I know. You wouldn't. Yeah. You just wouldn't. Right, right. No, I had to put my two dogs I had to put down in both times. But you didn't eat them. No, but I kept them alive way longer than I think

their quality of life justified. Hey, people do that with people. Yes, right. The moment I'm uncomfortable at all, please kill me. Have you ever been involved with either your parents, did you sort of have your time with them at the end, were they in hospice or whatever, where you got to really connect with them?

Yes, but I was connecting with them all the way. You were, right. Very close. But did you feel like you went to another level when they were right at the end? No. It was already there. My mom had ALS and it was awful.

Yeah. Slow decline at ALS as your body just eats itself, right? It's just the one that now this fails, this fails. They come over here. What's this machine? Oh this, she's gonna need this when her motor skills completely go and she'll only be able to communicate by moving her eyes so you'll need this when her motor skills completely go and she'll only be able to communicate by moving her eyes. So you'll need this machine. She's not there yet, but we know this is coming. In other words, this is a one way street ALS. There is no cure. There is no getting better. At best you can hang on to this horrible quality of life for a long time. So it was just... and then I... you had to advocate for morphine. They don't give it to you.

There's all these legalities. God forbid, you know, something happens with morphine, then the doctor doesn't want to be on the hook for that. So they want you to be. And my advice to anybody, somebody going through a horrible one-way thing, there is no, there's only death at the end of this road, there is no going back, the quality of life is suffering. My answer to you is morphine. Yeah, right, right, right. Merciful. Yep.

But they're not going to do it. You have to do it. And somebody told me that, and now I proselytize this because it's the most humane in this absolutely one scenario. Right, right. Yeah. So how long was she at that state where the machine was keeping her going? We never got to that. Oh, you didn't? Okay. She was breathing very, it was so labored, it was gonna, but you know, you can, she stopped eating, she couldn't eat, so the body, I don't know if you know this, you can survive like three months. No. Without food. Yeah. Really? Yeah, you could, if you have water, and you can stay barely alive. You shrink down to nothing.

Right, right. Oh no, I guess the hunger strikes in Ireland. I remember they went for months. That's right, Bobby Sands. The body feeds off itself. Right, right. It's just horrible. Ugh, so, and your mom, incredible story.

Your mom came from Berlin and she emigrated basically fleeing the Nazis, right? Well she was caught with her mother, put in a concentration camp in France. I didn't even know they had concentration camps in France, but it turns out the government of France was happy to help the Nazis in certain ways. Yeah, they were very much so. And so they were there for a year or two and then they got out but they couldn't get to America so Cuba accepted them. Really? Yes.

So my mother says the happiest time of her life was since she was 12, 13 years old, two years in Cuba. No kidding. Pre-Castro Cuba. Yeah, right, right. So mid-40s. Right? Batista. Still cherished mangoes because they reminded her of

Cuba, right? Such a visceral place. And then her dad, who was separated from him and put in the worst of the worst concentration camps. I'm named after this guy. His name was Philipp Auerbach. He created, he devised, because he was somewhat of a scientist, he devised ways for him to stay useful to the Nazis by making lice powder, figured that out for them, roach spray, things like this, where he became useful. Right. Okay? It wasn't part of killing his own people, but he's helping us Yeah, right. Okay. Now the war is over and my mom and her mom say Find out that he's alive that he survived not only Auschwitz

But the famous death march to Buchenwald where they thought they'd kill You know however many hundreds of thousands at a time by marching them in dead of winter from one camp to the other, figuring the march would just take care of them, but he survived that. Which country was that? Where was Auschwitz and Buchenwald? Was in Poland, I think. So they had this. He survives that. He survives Buchenwald. The war is over now. they find out he's alive, come to America, we're going to America. No, my job is here. He was somewhat involved in politics before the war. He says there's this government and I need to be

part of it and I need to restore Germany, this is my work, you come here. My grandmother said you're not, we're never going back there. I don't know if you noticed but they tried to kill us all. So he's like, I'm sorry, but my life is here. So he starts, I mean terrible for my mom, awful trauma on top of the trauma of being separated. Now dad doesn't even want to be with me. Wow. Screwed up. Screwed up for life, really. You know there's support groups for children of Holocaust survivors just because of this trauma that is then not passed down to you directly, but you're living with someone who has a lot of problems. Right, right, right. So there's a whole

there's a whole world. Isn't it also passed down through your genetics? It becomes actually part of the DNA, that heavy trauma, and your children are born with it. It could be. I could explain some of my Mishigas, but listen, he does do something great. He starts in Germany something called the restitution program. You might actually know old Jewish people who are still alive from them who get a check every month to this day from the German government. If your business was stolen by the German government, the German government pays restitution. Wow.

My grandfather, Philipp Auerbach, started this. I never met him. My mom saw him one time in the 50s. He came to New York to give a speech. And my mom saw him that one time. Then back, then the German government, they're not crazy about that restitution program. Some of them were former Nazis in the government. Right? How could they not be? Right, right, sure. They throw him in jail, say that he misappropriated funds, and he killed himself in his jail. No.

Yep. Yep. That's profound. Profound. And the country had a statesman's funeral for him in Berlin. Right. Like, huge hero in that way. Wow. That's where you come from. I do, but I never met the man. But I'm proud to be named after him. Yeah, I mean, a guy who puts his principles above his family?

Unbelievable. Yeah. I mean, listen, I hear these things. I hear, you know, Martin Luther King, greatest guy in the world, right? Maybe not to his family. I have heard. That's what I've heard, and you know, and he and he knew he was going to die. He talked about it the night before he was assassinated. Yeah, I'm not comparing my grandfather to him, but there might be a trait in personality that propels you to do good in the world at the expense of your personal life, of your literal family. So what, I mean, are you really a complete person if you ignore your family, your kids?

Yeah, I mean, that's what's kind of interesting about you is you manage to do both, which very few people do. I mean, on Everybody Loves Raymond, famously had nine to five hours so that you guys could have dinner with your families. And so you were able to achieve something that not that you were being altruistic, but it certainly was a positive force in the world, that show, and certainly the show you're doing now,

Somebody Feed Phil, is it's about positivity. It's a break from the cynicism, and yet you were able to be a part of your family in a way that I know how close you are to your kids. Put them in the show. Put them in the show, your brothers in the show. Well, that's a good way to include them. Right.

Include your family in your work. Yeah, right. Then you're getting everything. You put your wife in every little Raymond. I put them to work, these people. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. By the way, there's another reason why everything. You put your wife in your in every those Raymond. Yeah. I put them to work these people. By the way there's another reason why I wanted everybody to go home and have dinner with their families every night. That's where the stories were coming from. Right they were mining them. Go home get in a fight with your family come back in and tell me about it. Was there ever a time

where somebody pitched something like that and then later said, you know what, we can't do that. It's too personal. Yes, I said, I'm sorry, we're using it. Oh, right. I did it to myself. I did it one time. My family, my my if you watched the show, there was Robert Culp and Catherine Hellman played Deborah, the wife's parents, right? So the in-laws.

Those characters were loosely based on my brother's in-laws. Richard. Richard's wife's parents were the model for Deborah's parents, Ray's wife's parents on the show. Right. We brought them in. Good contrast to our Frank and Marie on the show. His parents. Why? Because they have a little more money. They're cooler. They're hipper. They say words like funky.

They go to Broadway shows. They travel a lot. So I thought this is great. Let's do that and then we'll have Frank and Marie hate them and talk about them. Oh they're going on vacation to Vietnam. They keep bragging about how they're going to Vietnam. Good luck with that, right? So there's no... when the show is on, there's... you're watching it... there's no streaming. You're watching it at 9 o'clock on Monday night 930 I get a call from my mother are you out of your mind we have to see these people he said they're in laws my real trip that they took yes so they weren't snotty about it I just thought what if they were right right so you're loosely basing it on that stuff.

And my mother says, I say, mom, we're exaggerating. And she goes, they don't know. You have to call them and tell you. Do you know how uncomfortable you've made me? I said, mom, your comfort is something I'm willing to sacrifice for the show. Speaking of your comfort, how's that new house I bought you? You comfortable in the car I bought you?

That's right, mom. That's right. By the way, you asked me what the worst thing... Yeah, yeah, yeah. My brother put me in a sports car in an F1, not an F1. What do they call it? What's F1 is the is the is the very low to the ground car. What's the car where it's just race cars? Like a NASCAR maybe? Yeah. I think I was on an F1 track though in... I think the F1 track that goes up sideways on the corners, doesn't it? Crazy, yes. In Austin, Texas. We did the Austin show. Oh yeah, that's F1. That's an F1 track. Yeah. But I'm in a Ferrari because someone else is driving. Okay. But I'm strapped in there. You know how fast I get? I went 187 miles.

No way. I'm an old Jewish man. I'm not built for this. I was, it was the worst. It was, you see this on the screen and it just looks like a car zooming around the track, like a little kid's, you know, race car track. Right, right. Oh no. It's the most violent. It's being, it's like being in multiple car accidents yeah have you ever done this no don't do it so and the wheel it seems like the wheel turns like a quarter of an inch and you're dead yeah yeah the stuff comes up so fast and you take off like a rocket and the g-forces they tell me are more than a nasa rocket taking off really acceleration is so easy your neck is getting everything you're being

thrown around yeah and when they go into a turn it's not easy yeah they hit the brakes as fast as you have to hit them to make a turn at 187 miles an hour and then you screech into this thing now you're thrown forward then to the side then to the other side then accelerate again out of the turn. This goes on for two and a half years. That's why it's insane that Danica Patrick is a competitive driver. She's about five foot three. These are athletes. They're not just passengers in the car. You have to be so attuned to everything in the car, everything on the track, the other drivers, right?

Yeah. We were just going alone. Imagine if there's cars over, the chance of accident. Have you seen that show, the F1 show on Netflix? I am really not interested. Well, you'd think you'd support a fellow non-scripted show on Netflix. I mean, that would just be the right thing to do. Nope.

Don't even watch the other food shows. You don't? No, they can all go to hell. I don't know. There's some I love. I mean, that would just be the right thing to do. Nope. Don't even watch the other food shows. You don't? No, they can all go to hell. I don't know. There's some I love. I do. That'd be so funny if Phil Rosenfeld finally snaps. I snap. I'm gonna get that too-cheap, by the way. Yeah, that'd be a good MMA fight to promote Vegas.

A good fight? Yeah. Should we create a scandal? You and Too-Cheap. That's what I need, a scandal. Yeah. Cause I'm two, you know, eight seasons now, people. I don't want you to take me for granted. A good fight? Should we create a scandal? You and Tucci. That's what I need, a scandal. Because I'm two, you know, eight seasons now, people. I don't want you to take me for granted. You're so funny. You came in today and I go, thanks for fitting me into your press junket. And you're like, we need it. And you had a seriousness about that.

I'm fighting for my life. It's the number one non-scripted show on Netflix. It's the number one non-scripted show on Netflix. It's the longest running. Yeah. Proud of that great, wonderful, luckiest guy you're ever going to meet. That's how I feel. Every season could be my last. And the longer we're on, the more they could say,

what did we give you each season? Go away. Now, we don't usually give two seasons, three seasons. So I'm very lucky to have gotten this far, but at the same time, you could be dead at any moment. You hate not working. I love, who wouldn't love what I'm doing? Yeah, but it's also a lot of work. No, it's fun.

Do you do a lot of prep for it? Yeah. You do? I love every second of it. Every, everything about it. And then I do the live tours, which I don't have to tell you how fun that is. So that's great. And half the show is Q&A. And I meet the people and I wouldn't do it if I didn't like people. I love it. So I'm so lucky. And listen, you said it earlier, especially as things get worse in real life, I think the show is a nice little respite from that.

It reminds me of some of the shows that were huge hits during the pandemic, like Queen's Gambit or that just made you feel good. They weren't cynical, they weren't jarring, and the way it's shot just adds to that. It's so beautifully shot. I mean, the artistic shots and yeah, it really draws you in, and so it creates a mood

every time you watch it. You kind of leave it feeling better. Well, that's the nice thing you could say. I have to tell you, that's what we're going for. Yeah. We're not, and people are saying that the show is somehow subversive or politically astute. Maybe not trying for it, or certainly not overtly trying.

There's no hard message. I'm not saying I'm against anything. I'm for people. But suddenly it's political because I'm hugging folks from other cultures and. Oh, is that right? You've really heard that? Little bit.

Really? Why'd you get political? What do you mean? I did a Washington DC episode, right? Washington DC is a great food town. That's my way in, is the food. But the show's not about food, it's about connecting with the people. Just using food and my stupid sense of humor to get you the real message. Which I'm not preaching, I'm just doing. Just showing.

They killed Jesus! I mean, you're getting off easy. So Netflix may kill me soon. Yeah. We'll see. I don't want, listen they've been very supportive so far. I love them. Ted Sarandos especially. Likes the show. So lucky. Yeah. Okay so I want in the DC episode I want to have lunch with the only somewhat political anything but how do you not you're in Washington DC this was two years ago can I get a Republican and a Democrat to sit and have lunch with me not easily really not easily remember the old days you would have gotten you

know Tip O'Neill's right there with George Bush and yeah. But I got Brian Fitzpatrick from Pennsylvania, Republican, and Pete Buttigieg, who was Department of Transportation. He gets along with everybody, yeah. He's wonderful and they were both on the Bipartisanship Committee. I don't even know if that exists today. But it was wonderful. And... Did it get political? Did you talk about politics at all? Well you have to because you're with a Republican and Democrat, but the whole point of lunch was, look how we get along. Break bread. When we sit with each other and eat something, now you're doing a universal thing that everyone does. We're already on

common ground. Why? Because we're eating together. Right. And if the food's any good, you're in a good mood. Right. And if you start talking about anything but politics, like your family, your kids, we're human beings. Now you're seeing a human being over there. Yeah. So I thought they should put a buffet in Congress because maybe that would, you know, calm things down a little little bit. Yeah like a school lunch table where you sit with different kids. Or a buffet of good food, not crappy food, good food where they're like happy. They want to be there. They want to be there and they sit and they eat and everybody suddenly is like not wanting to kill each other. That's all.

But I got letters, not a lot, just a few. I liked them before it became political. What do you mean political? I'm just trying to be a human. Just be my advice to everybody. Hey, let's try to be just a little more human. I don't care what your beliefs are. Yeah, and I think that I've seen it happen with comedians who are, you know, like my following is a lot of conservatives, even though I'm progressive, but my base comes from the Howard Stern show, which used to be real, you know, Lunchpale, New York Post, New Yorkers, and people like that, blue collar people. And then a lot of Adam Carolla. I've been on, I'm his most frequent guest and I love Adam.

He's, I don't agree with anything he says politically. Well, he certainly went. Yes. He went right. Yes, but before he went right. I was on there a lot. Yeah, I was very close. And I'm not gonna stop going because we don't talk politics.

Okay. And then Joe Rogan, who also has gone to the right is a guy who I'm going to his club this weekend. No kidding. Have you been on his thing on his show? 25 times. I would like to do his show. I will bring you up. Because I see him bending. Yes he is. I see him understanding that we're in trouble. Right. I'm not saying he helped get us there, but I have a feeling he's looking at what's happening and saying, well, this is too much. Right? Right? So there's a person in there. Yeah, I think he's seeing the immigration thing as not what the state admission was to take illegal immigrants who were criminals out first. Of course.

And he kind of won the middle on that one. But now he's grabbing kids and nannies and farm workers and people. And moms with their kids still on the street with no one? Yeah. What are you doing? Yeah. That's not politics. That's inhuman. And it's not what we were told was going to happen. Listen, do we all want criminals off the streets? Of course. Right. But this is, these are not criminals. are not criminals. And they don't care. Right, right. And they're the backbone of the economy. Even now Trump is going like, well, certain ones will let stay.

Like the ones that worked for your hotel and golf courses all these years. They're okay to stay? That's exactly what he's saying. Yes. He doesn't have an agenda. No. Other than pillage. Pillage.

Well he understands that creating chaos allows the people in power to grab even more power and money. Listen, here you go getting political again. All right, I didn't mean to get political. All right, stop. There's so many things I want to ask you about. Just be a human being, people. Did you ever, I wanted to ask you this

because you're parents, but did you ever go to Cuba for the show? Not yet, I'd love to. Have you tried and met resistance? No, no, I would love to go. We just, you know, we do eight shows a season, and it's like a year or so between seasons. It might be interesting to find where your mom was,

would she have remembered? I'm sure we can find that out. Yeah. Yeah, but you know, where she have remembered? I'm sure we can find that out. Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, where she was born in Hamburg, I've never been there. I'd like to go there. My dad's from Berlin. So my dad got out. Remember the Kristallnacht? You know what that was? So he was there for that, and then his dad had some connections to get them a visa to leave. But by Kristallnacht it was almost too late. They wanted you to leave earlier. Imagine being told here, listen, you should go. We don't like what you said on the podcast, so you need to go. You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't believe that's really going to happen. And then it does. And then now,

you know what? It's too late for you to go. We have other plans for you. Scary shit. It was literally, that was the pivot point where it turned. Kristallnacht was like, oh, they're literally smashing, Kristallnacht, night of broken glass, they're literally smashing windows and setting fires in Jewish businesses and synagogues and any Jewish people they saw on the street they'd beat up. Right. A sign that maybe society is breaking down and that we're not long for this world.

People who could still manage to get out got out, other people freaked out and didn't know what to do. And then we know what happened. So he got out, he came to Washington Heights Manhattan when he was 12, didn't speak a word of English, and his bar mitzvah was coming up like the next month. So he had to learn English, he had to learn his Haftarah, he had to learn for his bar mitzvah. No kidding. Wait, who did he stay with when he came over? My dad, with his parents. They all made it up. They made it up. And then my mother met my father later in the 50s as a 20-something year old. And she went on a date with a guy to an amateur night club in New Jersey.

And this skinny tailor who worked at his father's garment center his father's been a tailor with like generations of tailors my dad. And how old are they at this point? In their early 20s, mid 20s and my dad's up there telling old jokes. Get out of here! And she falls in love with him. No way! So I'm, I always say I'm only here because of my dad's sense of humor. Oh my god, that's crazy! And he never became professional, he just liked getting up on amateur night and telling jokes. And so it's a family business. It is the family business, but he didn't do it professionally, but I gave him the platform on my show to, when my mom passed, to keep my dad active and keep him involved, not just in the show, but in life.

Dad, you're going to tell a joke every show. Yeah, I love that. I love that. And so now that he's passed, we have my favorite funny people. You should do one. Oh, I'd love to. Tell a joke for Max. Yeah.

You know who we had this from on the Australia episode? Who? Mel Brooks. No. Turned 99 yesterday. Yes, he did. I love him so much and I love the conversation so much we can only use three, four minutes in the show.

Yeah. But I talked to him for 20 minutes and I put all that on YouTube. Oh, you did. I may. Is he sharp still? Yeah. He is. He's great. Oh my God. that's sick. He doesn't get out much but yeah yeah right. He does. He's Mel Brooks. Right very cool. Yeah I just saw him

interviewing something recently and he was so great. And he's working still. He's doing space balls too. Yeah. He's doing something else. Yeah. What are they? Oh very young Frankenstein I think he's working on. Really? Yes with people.. Yeah, I went to see, he did a one man show about six or seven years ago, where he went through his whole life story. It was incredible. And the stories that he would tell in the Carson show, he's got an arsenal. Yeah. Well, that's essentially what it was. Yeah, it was all of his panel stories strung together in a chronological way. And did I want to say an hour and 45 minutes without a break and he was probably 93 at that point. Q&A too? I can't remember if it was Q&A at the end but the show itself was like an hour and 45 minutes. He sing a little too? What's that?

Did he sing a little? Yes he did yeah he sang a high anxiety. He's adorable. He's adorable. And the relationship with him and Anne Bancroft, first time I met him was at intermission of a play in Los Angeles. It was Angels in America. And now I'm gonna be introduced to Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft and I meet them and I go, oh my God, you're both so terrific. And Mel says, I'm better.

Ah! Hilarious, cause he wasn't when they met I think she was a bigger star than he was when they met but his son lives is my neighbor and so max yeah max is my neighbor and so who if you've never he's got a book called Generation Z which is like he's a genius he's a genius I mean's a genius, I mean... You see him on Bill Maher, and he's so articulate and smart and has so much, I mean... So my son, when my son was little, when he was probably like maybe seven or eight years old, we used to listen to the two,

I have a great comedy album collection. I've got hundreds of comedy albums. Me too, I have a, oh yeah. Oh, you do? I used to fall asleep listening to comedy. Oh yeah, so 2000 year old man, I used to fall asleep listening to comedy. Oh yeah, so 2000 year old man, I used to play, we would play backgammon and I would play the 2000 year old man and it's a double album and he would just sit there and laugh while we played. So anyway,

so when he's about nine, we're trick or treating in the neighborhood and all of a sudden I go, oh and it's Mel Brooks. And he goes, someone's dressed as Mel Brooks. I go, no, it's Mel Brooks. And he turns around and Mel is there. And he started quoting the part about how he'd rather have a rotten tangerine or nectarine than a good plum. And he's doing that routine for Mel Brooks and Mel Brooks is dying.

And he's like, who the hell are you? So we took a bunch of pictures and one of them is on the mantle of the house. Of course it is. Him dressed as a ghost and... Maybe world's funniest person? I think so. Right? I think so. Good argument for that. Well because he's not only funny, he's macro funny and micro funny. His concepts are funny for his movies. And then his character is funny. And then his character and his jokes, hard jokes. I miss that in comedy, you know, because every time you tell a joke, it's a little bit of a leap of faith.

It's scary because like, that's why a lot of new comedy, some of it is good, but a lot of it is so conversational. They never make themselves vulnerable to bombing because they're just connecting to you. We're all, it's almost like, hey, we're all together. And I happen to be the one that's talking right now, as opposed to I'm the funniest one in the room. So shut up for an hour while I talk.

And I take these little stunts. Every joke is a little stunt. And then I wait and it either works or it doesn't. And I love that style that he was the bravest at that. Oh yeah, he's fearless. Yeah. That whole laughter on the 23rd floor that Neil Simon wrote. Yeah, yeah. He's the main character in that, right? Right. In If You Watched My Favorite Year. That was about the Sid Caesar writing room also, right? So you see the Mel Brooks character in there. And that was,

I'm trying to think of who else was on, Neil Simon was on that writing staff. Larry Gelbart. You know, they overlapped a little as it became Caesar's Hour from your show of shows, Woody Allen. No way. Yeah. Wow. I mean, it was Danny Simon also, Neil's brother, who got Neil into it. And the odd couple is based on the two of them.

Oh, is that right? Yeah. And god, there was so much. And those were live shows they did once a week. And I think they were like an hour and a half long. It's the precursor to SNL. Yeah, right. But they had a star.

They had Sid Caesar who could do anything. Was it Mel Blanc in the cast as well? No. That was Jack Benny's show, I think. Oh, okay. Right? Right. Another great. Yeah. We got to keep these things alive. I know. You can find these shows, everybody. If you go on YouTube, you can see there's a great movie that turned me on when I was like 12 or 13 called Ten From Your Show of Shows. Did you ever see

that? No. So Ten From Your Show of of shows was just a collection of the 10 best sketches ever on your show of shows. And they showed them in movie theater in 1973. Okay. I saw, I wonder if you know this sketch, the This Is Your Life sketch? Yeah, of course. Mel, Carl, oh, oh, Carl was on the show. Yeah. Carl Reiner. Everyone, living or dead, agree this is the best sketch of all time. This is where she just gets hysterical. Every time somebody comes out, just breaks down. Uncle Goopy.

Yeah, yeah. I literally fell on the floor. I couldn't contain my laughter. Imagine seeing this as a 12 or 13 year old, seeing the funniest thing that's ever been made. I mean, I just, that, that was everything. And then to meet these guys who made that and talk about it with them, I would have lunches with these guys. I made sure that I had lunches with these guys. I organized the lunches and dinners with them because otherwise, you know how life is,

you know, they, they work work together 50 years 60 years ago 70 years ago, they're not getting together all the time. Right. I need a reason to Know you get older you stop reaching out. Yes. Yes. That's amazing. Yeah I mean Jesus that sounds like it would be a great thing to film at this point, you know while you still wait For a lot of them. Yeah Mel's left. That's it. From that group, that's it. Larry Gelbart's gone, Norman Lear is gone, they were all friends too.

Carl Reiner. Carl Reiner's gone. Yeah. I'll tell you my favorite thing, Larry Gelbart, I'm having lunch with Larry Gelbart and Norman Lear. This is years ago, and Larry says, "'What's it like dealing with the networks today?' And I start to tell him a little bit,

and he stops me and he turns to Norman and he goes we're dying just in time Good dismount we made a nice dismount. Oh my god. Yeah, I think about that when I watched the news Yeah, all right dying just in time. All right Yeah But I would imagine when there was you know, when everybody was afraid we're gonna get nuclear bombed in the 60s, I'm sure they felt like that. I'm sure they felt like that during the depression. I think we're a very resilient country.

I think that despite it being challenged right now, we still stand for something that is bigger than any political party. I think it's in the hearts of Americans and I think they'll always fight for it. Do you? I do, yeah. And I say that... So if it gets worse, you think there'll be some kind of, I'm not preaching revolution, but you think something the people will take to the streets and make things right again? Well they are. They are. I mean not as much as they could be, but what you're seeing is... I see a

rally, and then it's over. Right. But what you're seeing is... I see a rally and then it's over. Right. But what you're seeing is a rally and then the activization of a president ordering the military against the citizens. That's striking a lot of people that might be a little bit on the fence as fundamentally not a democracy.

And I think that that's the idea of protest. It's to, the protest is not about the number of people that are there, it's about the incidents. It's about the fire hose knocking people down, you know, it's about kids getting shot at Kent State. Those are the moments that can change the way people vote and change what they will tolerate in the government. And what if we can't vote anymore? Well, that's a very good point. what they will tolerate in the government. And what if we can't vote anymore? Well, that's a very good point. What if the Supreme Court is giving one guy all the power and everyone who follows him

is doing so because he seems to have all the power, which means I will have power if I'm with him? Well, that's it. We've seen this in history before. We've never seen anybody in American history control... Not American history yet. Yeah, we've seen the exact playbook in many other oligarchies and dictatorships. Yeah, we have. But I think America is different.

I do think that these people that are waving flags are doing it blindly. And I think that as the economy tanks, which it will, sell all your stocks, that's what I'm telling all my listeners, sell your stocks, and as Medicaid is taken away, as they're gonna attack Obamacare next, these are the, this is the bread and butter for the people that that have voted for him, and that may change. Now will they change the voting machines? They may have already. Yeah. There's cases I'm reading where, you know, in Rockland County where I grew up in New York. I heard about that. Zero votes. For Kamala. Yeah, the down-the-line voting was all Democrat. And just her vote.

Just her was not... Zero. Yeah. In the whole district, zero. Yeah. How is that possible? I mean, that's real proof, which you never. And they had just downloaded a new software to those machines prior to. I mean, we sound like the other side during the 2016 election. Which is on purpose. So here's something just anecdotally, a tell maybe.

Right? What is one of his things that he does a lot? He talks about other people and it just seems apparent that whatever he says about someone else he's guilty of. What is the number one thing he yells about? That election was fixed. Yeah. Wait, a tell? David tell? No. This is a tell like when you're playing poker. Oh, I thought you said David tell. I was like, I've never seen him do anything

political in my life. That's hysterical. You're a comedian. You never say a tell to a comedian. That's hilarious. So a tell like in poker, somebody scratches his eye or something he does, then you know that he's bluffing, right? So what does our president do? Every single time he's yelling about somebody, it's always something he's doing. This is not a subtle tell. This is very obvious. And I'm saying to you, what is the thing he

has yelled the most about and will never drop? The election. The 2020 election was fixed. Even though 60 plus cases could never prove a thing. So why wouldn't I think that maybe the last election, everything he was yelling about was a smoke screen for what he was doing. It's like when they went after John Kerry on the Swift boat thing. It's like all these draft dodgers are calling, literally what caused John Kerry the election

was the fact that he was a war hero and a bunch of fucking flat-footed dropouts from the war, yeah, that was crazy. I'm not saying I have proof this was fixed. I'm just saying if we go by behavior, he seems to be signaling. And suddenly now Democrats, they don't want to be the ones to say it because then we're as bad as them. But what if it's true? Right, right. How do you square the fact that you would look at the rallies for the two candidates and one was packed and enthusiastic and crazy numbers and one looks, you know, as we would

call it, schvach. Not only was it schvach? Schvach. Not only was it schvach. A little lean, a little empty. But there were ads on Craigslist for people to come to the rallies and they were paying a thousand dollars. And what did he say about her rallies?

Oh, they're paying them to come. And what was he doing? He was paying them to come. But he was paying them to come. But guess what he paid them with? Bitcoin? The Trump coin, which in order to receive it, you had to fill out all this paperwork and jump through who, like you were never going to get the thousand dollars.

He's famous for not paying. Exactly. How about his parade? That went away fast. Why did the media leave that alone right away? That was a huge thing. Here's his parade. It was the saddest parade in history.

Isn't that emblematic of the whole thing? Well, the fact that the military showed up and did it, but they were pretty vocal. A lot of the generals were saying, this is a waste of our time. Those guys sauntering down the street and not in step. That was a big f-ute. I loved that. That was great. We have to hope and pray that there's more of them than the other. We don't want to hear I'm only following orders. That's right. Yep. You've heard that before. I don't want to get you caught up in politics because... But look what you did! You got me going now. Well, it's very hard these days to avoid it. Listen, people, I want to talk to the people for one second. Don't... It's important to stay informed, it's important to see the news. But we can get consumed, right? We can get... Look how it takes over every... I right? And so prevalent in the lives and we're scared.

Okay, you can drive yourself nuts. So once in a while, watch something nice, like somebody feed Phil. It doesn't have to be my show, but go outside, smell the flowers, go have lunch with your friends. You know, we still, right now, have a beautiful life here. Yes, extreme. I mean, I don't know of a country that has a better quality of life at this moment than

we do. Unless you're being picked up by ICE. Yes. Then you're not. Right, right, right. But what do we do? We stay aware. We talk about it.

We don't let these people disappear in silence. We make a big stink about it. We call our congressmen. We call our senators when a big beautiful bill is going to take away rights. We talk about it on our podcast, even though we lose a lot of listeners. It could be, but there's also nice and you have to make time for that. Otherwise, what's the point of any of it? And you need to rest your psyche. Your psyche needs to unengage for a little while. Meditation is huge for me. I've been doing it for probably 10 years now,

and whenever I'm feeling frazzled, I do it, and it's like not only does it feel like a long nap, everything shrinks down. All those things that were spinning in my head, they just shrink down. So, and also... In meditation, you have the thought, you see it, and then you let it go. Right, right. You don't keep it out. Everybody thinks meditation is doing the mantra and going, somebody, somebody, whatever your mantra is, but it's just the object. Did you just tell me your mantra? No, I would never tell anybody. I've never told anyone my mantra in 10 years. I've never told mine. And so, what you do is... I started to make up my own words. Oh, did you? Things to say. Really? Things that are literally, you know, let that one pass. Oh,

so you have actual phrases. Yes, literally saying that to myself and sure enough. Oh, because mine is just like a Sanskrit. Yeah, mine is a word and that's fine. Yeah. works, people, all it is is shutting off the phone and sitting for 20 minutes. Let whatever thoughts come in, acknowledge you have that thought, acknowledge you have that feeling about that thought, and then, okay, I'm done. I'm done with that thought. Next, anything else there? And eventually you get to just nothing. Yeah, and then you gently bring yourself back to your, you just go, oh, I'm having my thought. And then like you said, you process the thought,

you observe it, and then you come back to it, and then thoughts come in. And sometimes you get a great idea. Oh yeah, absolutely. That's good too. Yeah, I know. Because the mind wasn't trying to think of a great idea. Something pops in.

I also, yesterday, took magic mushrooms and then spent like an hour in the ocean riding waves. Really? That helped too. I worry about, because it is a, is it fair to say it's a drug? Oh yeah. Okay. Are you afraid that you do something like that and you forget how to breathe and you

drown? I think just the opposite. I felt completely in tune with the ocean. Really? I think if you were to take like an LSD type of drug, I think you might lose motor skills. But mushrooms are from nature. You know? I also didn't take a lot.

I've never done it. Yeah, you should try it. Come on, here we go. It's magic mushroom day. We should do one where we take it and then we do like a three hour podcast. How's that? And we color, we watercolor while we're doing the podcast.

Yeah, the people watching or listening are going, that's better than your political shit. Yeah, talking about kittens is amazing. Yeah. And how we're all just... But I'm halfway there anyway. I'm a very happy guy, usually. I know you're a very happy guy, but I'm just... We're all just waiting for you to snap one day. Everybody is. It's gonna happen here. Is this the place? I'm saving it for your show. Because I like you. I just gotta keep poking you. You just poke the bear a little bit. Well, I bring up the Nazis,

I figure maybe that'll get them there. Remember Martin Short, the character he does. Jiminy Glick? Jiminy Glick with Mel Brooks. Oh yeah. What's this obsession you have with the Nazis? What is it with you and the Nazis? Nazis, Nazis, what'd they ever do to you?

Has there ever been a better character than Jiminy Clegg? I think it's the greatest character interview parody that I've ever seen. Ever. Part Merv Griffin, part there was another guy that he's a little bit like, and then just his, and it just allows his id to just be free form and be as mean actually and say the truth about people under the guise of this big fat suit. Hysterical, really hysterical. Just saying, I don't know who you are, but, and then he'll take a call from his wife in the middle of the interview. And the fact that he's pretending to be straight, it's just hilarious.

And falling over the chair backwards. Another candidate for funniest person who ever lived. Yes. Yes. All right, so... He's looking at his list. Well, because... What else can I... Ty, I don't want to keep you that long, but... He's looking at his list. Well, you know, because... What else can I...

Ty, I don't want to keep you that long, but... What else can I... Alright, the other thing I'll ask you about is this is called Fast Balls with Fits, where I just ask you some quick questions. We'll see how fast I am. When's the last time you apologized? I apologize every... I wake up, I turn to my left and I say, is there anything

I've done to piss you off yet, darling? That's an old Catskills joke. I love that joke. I think it was Malsey Lawrence. Malsey Lawrence. Catskills on Broadway. So yes, you know if you're married you're in a constant state of apology. Yeah, right. If you're smart you are. Well yeah, listen, apologize quickly and often, I believe. Well it's a muscle. It avoids, but I mean it when I do. I'm always going to assume I did something wrong. Right.

I'm not that smart. So it probably was me, but it's also a very good disarmament and de-escalation of an argument. Just apologize. Who the hell cares? And it also, like, when you're together so much, stuff can start to build up that you're not talking about. And then as soon as you apologize, you realize, oh, that wasn't a big deal. It's just that I was not expressing it. But also you're looking for the resolution to come faster. The problem is when the apology is not

accepted because they think you were just apologizing quickly to get this over with and get me to stop talking. Right. It's got to be a quality apology. You have to mean it. Yeah. I do mean it, but sometimes that doesn't work either. Well, when people qualify an apology, I'm sorry that I blank, but you. Yeah, you can't have a but. Yeah, or I'm sorry that you're upset that I did this. Lose your but.

Lose your but. Go to the gym, lose your but. Yes. There's two types of people in the world. Yes. Go. People who voted for him and people who didn't. There you go. See I want to change that though. Okay. Because I work comedy clubs all deep

south conservative Midwest. I only said that because it's on our minds right now. Because what? Because we were talking about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I will. That's not really true. These people are people also. Yes. And some people, yes, they did they have nefarious intentions maybe? Yeah. Or selfish intentions? Right. Misguided? And some were duped. And some were good, hard-working, honest people. Yes. Who were duped. Well, they were basically a lot of people are facing loss of jobs, their shrinking income, higher cost of living, and they're looking at that and here's this guy who comes along who is one of the great salesmen of all time. I don't want to say salesman, I want to say con man. Right.

Because listen, it's not that I'm making that up. He doesn't believe in the product. But he also, he's a convicted con man. He had to pay restitution to everyone who enrolled in Trump University. You would think that would have been disqualifying. They interviewed these people. They gave their life savings because they saw him as the guy on The Apprentice who really ran a business and could teach them about business. They were completely ripped off. He didn't give a shit about them. That's a little tiny microcosm of what he's doing now. Now you got me mad.

Who's your best gay friend? Oh, I don't really like... I have a lot. I love... Is it right to out people on the show? Yeah, that would be funny. My favorite is Greg Fitzsimmons, everybody. Ah, stop it! He's the best. No, I come from theater. Yeah, right, right.

So if I didn't have gay friends, I wouldn't come from theater. Sure, sure. You have to, we're filled with the gays. Yeah, yeah. We love the gays. Yeah, love the gays. Listen, I would vote for Pete Buttigieg in heartbeat.

Do you think that that's a deal breaker for America, that he's gay? Sadly, at this moment in time, maybe. I wish it wasn't, but look, people got behind Barack Obama. It's true. But they couldn't get behind a lady. No, twice now they've not gotten behind a lady. And the crazy thing is not only is he a strong family man, who's got kids and is a long married. He happens to be a genius. Brilliant.

Brilliant. And also he goes on Fox News. He's great. He converses with the other side. Well, yeah, that's why I got him for my show. Because he was willing to talk to, I couldn't get, there were people I couldn't get from both sides, not willing to be seen as talking to the other. That's how low it's gotten.

This is the most I've talked about the political situation in America. Well, I mean, I see that you're active in supporting different causes, and I know you did something where you were feeding meals to people online and who were voting. You know why? Because it's inhuman not to. I'm not trying to be political. I'm just trying to make people understand this is not about the left and the right and politics, Republican, Democrat. Human issues. You were feeding everybody. Human. You didn't ask who they voted for before you gave them the meal. Human. Right. Now, was that the genesis of Larry David's episode where he was giving away? It was.

Really? That was a cool. Not only an episode, that was a season long arc. But I gave him another one too. The first season. I had a restaurant and he said, hey, can we have dinner one time? I said, sure, Larry. He pumped me for information and then that was his season. Was he at a restaurant and he said, hey, can we have dinner one time? I said, sure, Larry. He pumped me for information and then that was his season,

was he at a restaurant? No kidding. Yes. And then he never caught me or told me about it. And I see him later. He goes, hey, did you see? I did the thing. Yeah, I saw.

Then he had me in the show a couple of times. He wore a MAGA hat to keep me away. Oh, I saw that episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was great. Oh, that's great. That's right. I remember that.

Well, look, he mined you. You mined your family. So that's how it works in this business. Nobody funnier. He also could be one of the funniest people who ever lived. Every word... You've met him, obviously. Every word out of Larry David's mouth is an episode of that trip. Yes. Every, when I met him the first time, I'm introduced to him at a

party 25 years ago. I say, hi Larry, it's nice to meet you. He doesn't say hello, he says, you think it's alright to throw gum in the fireplace? It's an episode. Right? Yeah. Every, that's who he is. Yeah, right. Great. So my show is who I am. So he was the guy behind Seinfeld, I'm the guy behind Raymond.

His show, I would call my show, Why Curb Your Enthusiasm. Right. Right, right. Let out your enthusiasm. Yes, that's right. All right, final question. I've never asked this one before. Oh! What was your first kiss, Bill Rosenthal?

Wow! Scandalous, I know. Lauren Lazinsk, 12 years old, the YMYWHA camp in Rockland County. What does that stand for? Young Men, Young Women, Hebrew Association Camp. Okay. Day camp. Yeah. 12 years old. Kiss goodbye at the end Association camp. Okay. Day camp. Yeah.

Twelve years old. Kiss goodbye at the end of camp. Didn't kiss her the whole time. So was... Held hands once. Was there an attraction all summer? Oh, we were boyfriend-girlfriend. Oh, you were, but you never kissed? No, that's for older people.

But I thought, I'm not gonna... Maybe I don't see her again. This is the end of camp. What a great kiss. Kiss her goodbye. What a great kiss. On the cheek or on the lips? Lips, baby, come on.

Baby, come on. Who are you all of a sudden? I'm a stud. We bring up your 12 year old kiss and all of a sudden you're like, hey baby. It was as chaste as it could be. Yeah, I love it. And I was nervous wreck.

Did you ever see her again after that? Nope. Perfect, that's how it should be. Yeah, I love it. And I was nervous wreck. Did you ever see her again after that? Nope. Perfect. That's how it should be. Nope. That was my last great relationship. Don't forget to watch. I'm married 35 years. All right, don't yell it. 35 years. I haven't 35 years! All right, don't yell it. 35 years. I haven't spoken to her in 25 years. I don't want to interrupt. That's the key.

Good night, ladies and gentlemen. Phil Rosenthal, somebody feed Phil is on Netflix. It's the eighth season, the longest running non-scripted show in Netflix history. Isn't that nice? And just we're going to go get some lunch, we're gonna keep talking. I love a man named Greg Fitzsimmons. It's my show.