Fitzdog Radio - Preacher Lawson - Episode 1046

Episode Date: March 19, 2024

This week Preacher Lawson and I became friends. He is hilarious and has had an amazing life and I think he is going to be a big star. Or one day just end up with a podcast.  Follow Preacher Lawson on Instagram @PreacherLawson    

Hey, welcome to FitzDog Radio. My guest today is Preacher Lawson. We'll get him on in just a minute, but first, let's talk. Let's talk, baby. I'm dressed up. I'm about to play a little golf. That's why I'm dressed like... You're not going to see a lot of guys in golf shirts and comedy mothership hats.

That's an enigma. That's a paradox. That's a... I don't know what you call it. Actually, I think there's some golfers. I think there's some Joe Rogan golfers. Tape my special there. I'm doing the final edit this week. I've gone through about four waves of edits on the special. I feel really good about it. I feel really

disgusted looking at myself doing stand-up over and over. So sick of those jokes. You won't be. They'll be fresh to you. But I've seen them so many times and glad to put them behind me now and move on and talk really exclusively about Palestine and Israel. That's my next special is just Palestine and Israel and childhood erectile dysfunction and third-term abortions. I'd like to talk a little bit about 9-11. You know, just stick to the light stuff. And then I go to the fucking pharmacy this morning. Don't you love this? You get to the counter.

They ring up your stuff. And then in front of the entire line, the lady goes, do you want to donate a dollar for the Juvenile Cancer Foundation? Are you kidding me? Are you trying to humiliate me in front of this line? Because first of all, fuck you. I'm not giving you a dollar because here's how it works. Walgreens gets you to donate money into a big pool.

And then they wait for a telethon and they wait for their big annual meeting and they make a check that's the size of a fucking flat screen TV and they make it out to the Childhood Cancer Foundation, but it ain't their money. They're getting the write-off, the tax write-off. They're getting the glory and they're hitting you in front of a line full of people that you don't want to look like a douchebag in front of. And I said, you know what? That's so weird because I'm collecting money for 9-11 widows who have parents from the Holocaust that have AIDS. Do you want to give a dollar to that? Come on. You're working. You got a job. You're at Walgreens shaking people down. Just unapologetic. Now, actually, yeah, I'll give you a dollar for that. And my son is transitioning. Can you give

me a dollar for my son's trans? I'm sorry, my daughter. So it just seems like don't pull that shit. I'm tired of that. I don't know. Yeah, I'll give you a dollar. And do you want to donate to help out with this $165 prescription that I'm paying for to help my depression? My depression that's bought on by corporate America needling me and humiliating me? Ugh. Walgreens.

Oh, Walgreens. Walgreens is no longer offering the Plan B, by the way. They announced that there'll be no more morning after pill at Walgreens. I think the morning after pill. Are we really saying that life begins six hours after a one night stand with a Coke dealer? Is that a baby we want in the world?

Or is that something we can just kind of blink and make go away like Bewitched? That's what we need. We need witches, abortion witches, that can just make babies go away. I'm not going to get an abortion. Anyway, St. Patrick's Day show this past Saturday night at the Improv. I want to thank all the people that came out. We sold out the show, as we do every year. We had a great lineup.

Harlan Williams, the Sklar brothers, Laura Keitlinger, Annie Letterman. Our good friend Mike Gibbons did a set. Adam Freeman hosted. Dennis Gubbins did a little sketch. I don't know. It was okay. Not great. Could have used an ending. We had the Irish soda bread contest with my friend Lauren Tish, and she swears that it was fixed. And she thinks that she won. We gave the entire audience a piece of Irish soda bread. Me and Laureen made tons of loaves of Irish soda bread. And we had Irish music, the Pogues. We had decorations.

And it was really fun. But she's calling foul. Last year she won. It's a $100 bet. And we brought three people on stage, and they voted. And she's saying that the voting— It's like she's Donald Trump. And she's saying that the voting, it's like she's Donald Trump. And she's got a lot of followers and now I'm afraid they're going to storm my house.

Because they don't believe that, they think the election was fixed. You know, this is unbelievable. It's possible I fucked up. I don't know. I have ADD. they handed me two plates they said yours is the white plate but then you know I'm hosting the show my mind gets scattered if it happened it was not intentional but I have my ADD is so fucking bad lately my I am so distracted. When I'm at a party with people, I have to physically, I'm literally tightening my muscles to pay attention to people that are talking at a party because there's so

many distractions. There's other conversations. You hear your name come up in another conversation, and so you're staring at this person, but you're listening to that person, and then all of a sudden they laugh at something they said. So you laugh along with it. But then they look at you and they know because your laugh isn't really in sync with the joke that they told. And then by the end of the night, everybody thinks you're a phony. Oh, we did a – well, the St. Patrick's Day show is Saturday night, which was the 16th. But then actual St. Patrick's Day show is Saturday night, which was the 16th. But then actual St. Patrick's Day is the 17th.

So we went on this really fun. My friend has a boat. I forget what it's called. It's like a Duncan or I forget what it's called. But it's basically like a little pontoon boat. I forget what it's called, but it's basically like a little pontoon boat. It's a flat bottom boat that's got, you know, you know, vinyl clear windows around it. And so you're it's like a little party.

There was about a dozen of us on this boat. And we all took mushrooms and then we cruised through Marina through the Marina which is the largest private Marina in the country in terms of slips for boats it just goes on forever and there's like these crazy mega yachts and it's just visual and you're in the water and I don't like boats but I love going out on that boat um and my my friend And one of my friends is turning 65 this week, and he went to Mexico this year to get his teeth fixed. And he got all new teeth put in, and now they're falling out one by one. And he's sitting in the back of the boat. He's got denture cream all over his lips and his teeth are falling out.

And so he's 65. And then we got this 27-year-old woman who is this really groovy. She's a little tatted up. And she's a lesbian, lives on the boardwalk in Venice Beach. But like that young energy, you know that young energy where she's open to anything, like she's got one of those long skateboards, she's getting into surfing, she's living like overlooking the boardwalk, and just fun. I don't know, there's something about, you almost want to suck the marrow out of young people

because they make you feel a lot. I can't describe it. It's just like, I think it's important to hang out with young people as you get older. That's why you never, when you're 65, don't move to an old folks home because then, I think I talked about it last week, you just talk about aches and pains and operations and death, and that's where your mind is at. I was supposed to go out on a boat with a bunch of young people. There's some other young people. I think everybody was getting up there. My friend, the boat owner is a kid who he went to Princeton

and then he came out to LA and he kind of got into the Venice scene. I mean, the Venice scene is kind of interesting. People have this vision of just a bunch of homeless people living on the beach. It's not it. There's artists, there's creativity, there's music, there's yoga on the beach and all that stuff. But it's gritty and also at the same time kind of progressive. I love it. And he got very into that world. And then he, I think, was having trouble getting a job.

So he met this guy who was like 60 from the Middle East. And the guy brought him with him around the world almost as like an assistant kind of thing. And the guy would get drunk. This guy's very good looking, the Princeton guy. And the guy would get drunk and he would hit on him and he would just say no. But it was a very weird relationship. It was almost like White Lotus with, what's her name?

And what is that woman's name? I love her. Anyway, so anyway, it got bad. And what is that woman's name? I love her. Anyway. So anyway, it got bad. It got to where he was in Hawaii and he had to get rescued by two friends to get him away from this. Apparently this guy is like pretty powerful and maybe a little dangerous. We can't tell. So he ends up, he owes him a lot of money.

And now he's back and he's got this boat and we cruise around the marina and it's pretty fun. And then we got to, what's it called? Something shrimp. There's a shrimp restaurant on the water and we get to the slip and we dock the boat and we go to get in and the gate is locked. You can't get through. So all 12 of us climb one by one over this crazy gate over the water. I think it's called Killer Shrimp. And we go up to the Killer Shrimp and it's this enormous restaurant. It holds like hundreds of people and literally 99% of the people are black. I don't know why I wasn't expecting that, but this is a very popular restaurant with black culture for some reason. And the shrimp was amazing. A lot of fun.

Anyway, I shouldn't be telling you all these details about my friend. I feel like I'm Truman Capote. Have you watched the Capote and His Swans or whatever that movie docuseries was? No, not that. It was a narrative series. But it was not bad. It dragged down a little bit. So my guest this week is an Irishman.

He told me he's 13% Irish. So my guest this week is an Irishman. He told me he's 13% Irish. And then he's about 67% black. Or is that 77? 87. And his name is Preacher Lawson. And man, did I have a good time with him.

I'd never met him before. I'd seen his stand-up. I liked him a lot. I brought him in. And what a treat. his standup. I liked him a lot. I brought him in and what a treat. Really good dude. We had a fun talk. Uh, he's got a huge TikTok following and he's clean, which I'm not used to these clean comedians, but, uh, he was on America's Got Talent, made it to the final round. He's been on a black Lady Sketch show. I think you should leave with Tim Robinson, which you should watch that show

if you've never seen it. Tonight Show with Fallon. Anyway, great dude. We had a fun time. If you want to come see me, by the way, I will be in Boca Raton, Florida at Meisner Park, April 3rd. Tampa at Sidesplitters, April 4th through the 6th.

Mamaronek at the Emmeline Theater, May 31st. Also Pittsburgh coming up and a bunch of dates I'm announcing soon. Go to FitzDawg.com to get your tickets. And now please enjoy my chat with Preacher Lawson, welcome to FitzDawg Radio. Thank you so much. Are you a big fan of the show? It's my favorite show. It's my favorite show. I go Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and this one. Really?

Yeah, I like Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and this one. Really? Yeah, yeah. I like Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Fresh Prince. Isn't it funny? Yeah. Will Smith's career. Man, he could have been president. Isn't that crazy?

He could have been president. He could have been president. Dude, that's not an exaggeration. I know. It's great. Ronald Reagan became president. He did, man. People loved him.

In 30 seconds. I know. And now you literally never see him i know he's i mean i feel him i fall i still fall did you unfollow him or do you never follow him i never followed him okay i still follow him what does he post i mean the same stuff but no one cares as much but he i mean i'm not gonna say no one cares as much because he's still massive he's always been massive yeah and he'll be fine but he was like you know, I was just talking to a friend about it. They're like, I feel bad for Chris Rock.

I was like, I feel bad for Will Smith, man. Yeah. I mean, he dropped so many levels and Chris Rock went up. Well, and Chris Rock did some martial arts shit on him because he didn't fight back. Yeah, yeah. He waited. Yeah.

And then he got him into a slow chokeout with that special a year later. So he let it sit. He let people get behind. Because if Chris had come straight out and counterpunched, it would have been two guys that both did something to each other. But when Chris waited, then it just solidified. Yeah, yeah. I mean, let it simmer, let it cook.

Yeah. I was very sad when that happened. You ever slap somebody? No, I don't think I've ever slapped anybody. You ever punch somebody? I've never punched anybody either. I punch people when I'm trained. I train them in May.

That's the only time I punch. I've never punched anybody in real life, but I've tackled. You have? I've tackled people. Were they the aggressor I punched. I've never punched anybody in real life, but I've tackled. You have? I've tackled people. Were they the aggressor? Well, I'm definitely not the aggressor. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I think if I like, I think at school, yeah, they got too close, I just tackled them. Yeah. Because I knew how to do that because I played football, but I didn't know how to punch people. Right. And I just don't think I should punch people. It's so funny. I punch walls. Oh to punch people. Right. And I just don't think I should punch people. It's so funny.

I punch walls. Oh, you have? Yeah. I feel like every man, you haven't punched a wall? I've punched a wall. Yeah, I punch walls. Yeah, I punch walls. I was in a rental car the other day,

and I was hitting the rental car. Yeah. So, yeah, I do that. Why? Were you lost in L.A.? No. I was going to a college gig to do a show, and it was actually Penn State.

And I didn't know there was 20 campuses. So I just put in Penn State, and it was two hours from the other campus I was supposed to be at. And I was just like. Damn. I was like, dang it, bro. But they still let me do the show.

I still drove, they still waited. The whole crowd was packed. I was just two hours late. That's the beauty of a college show. They got nowhere to go. They have nothing to do. They were like, we've been waiting forever for this. So, yeah.

Dude, plus you know you're making a big check. That's why you get mad. Those college shows. I used to do a lot of those when I was a young man. When I was your age, I was hitting those college shows. Yeah, yeah. You don't do them anymore? Because Rock said he doesn't like doing them.

Come on. Look at me. They don't want to hear me talk about my not having. You know what my new joke is? That I can't believe I'm having sex with a 57-year-old woman, my wife. Yeah, I mean, you know. Like, if you told me when I was 18 that I was going to fuck a 57-year-old, I would have blown my head off.

I mean, you know. That's literal. I mean. But I want to. I think she's sexy as hell. I'd love to. Yeah. I think my wife is sexy too.

And you're 31. How old is she? Well, I'm 33 today, actually. Oh, congratulations. Happy birthday, man. Today's my birthday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Last time it was your birthday, you got pulled over by a cop.

I think you were 19 then, right? Yeah. How do you know that? That's crazy. That's your special. That's great. I thought you were talking about my first. No, I just read,

then especially you talked about getting pulled over on your birthday and you said on the inside, I was going, that's my birthday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And on the outside, I was going,

it's my birthday. That's very funny. My man, my man. That's a true story. I was just telling a friend that who happened to be a comedian. He's like, bro, you gotta say it on stage.

I was like, I don't think that's funny. I just think it's funny like when we were conversing. He's like, bro, you got to say it on stage. I was like, I don't think that's funny. I just think it's funny when we're conversing. He's like, you got to say it. And then I did it. It's one of my favorite bits. Well, it's great because when a cop is around, there really is that part of you as a man that's being challenged

by not just a man, but by authority in general. And it seems like you were raised, you're a little bit more of a beta than an alpha. That's not an insult, is it? No, I mean, I feel like I'm a middle. Well, beta's a middle, because then there's Omega, is a total pushover. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.

But you're not, like when you said, you were never the aggressor in a fight. You don't curse. I do cuss. You love't curse. I do cuss. You love your mom. I do cuss. I started cussing in 2020. Really?

Yeah. I was like testing it in the house. Was it the COVID? Well, I was stuck in the house. When you're stuck in the house, you just do. I was literally in my house just testing it out. How'd it feel? It felt so stupid.

It did. It felt so stupid. So I only cuss around, you know, like my brother and some friends. But, I mean, and it's like if I'm dating someone. But I don't really. If you're dating somebody. But I didn't cuss for years, so it's just weird, you know. Well, during sex.

I'll just do it. Yeah, I can't be like, yeah, you like this S? You like my pee-pee and your pee-pee? You know, I can't bleep. I can't, you know, scissor myself then. Yeah. Say my mother effing name. No, but,

so I do, I do cuss, but I just don't, you know. But yeah, I guess I am, I'm definitely not, I'm definitely not,

I'm definitely not, yeah, I'm not. Well, you're an alpha in the sense that like, when you walked in the door, we never met before. No, no, no. Right?

Oh, yeah, we have. We have. It's just been briefing like through the improv yeah yeah like i know you did kill tony a lot i might have met you on a kill tony at some point but you walk in and like you're a very intimidating presence oh really how tall are you i mean six four on tinder but i think regular i'm like i think five eleven you know". Are you 5'11"? Yeah, I'm 5'11". Yeah, these are probably the shoes. I've been doing yoga, man. I've been doing yoga. Really?

And I'm about 206 right now. You know what I'm saying? I don't know if you noticed. 206. Damn. You know, I could barely fit in this jacket. This jacket. I'm like, how am I going to put it off?

This boy Jack. They sewed it on me. You buy a smaller size, don't you? No, yeah, yeah. I didn't even buy this. A friend of mine bought it. I don't know how to shop. It doesn't look good in an outfit.

That means I'm dating somebody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what that means, bro. I always look, sweatpants, that's my jam. Sweat jam, you know, a T-shirt that I got for free. Yeah. You know, and the same jacket. No, on any given day, my T-shirt and hoodie have the name of a comedy club on it.

Yeah. That's my word. That's my design. The comedy works in Denver is my design. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On any given day, my T-shirt and hoodie have the name of a comedy club on it. Yeah. That's my word. That's my design. The Comedy Works in Denver is my design. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it's an improv or it's just like, it's just a free T-shirt. I'm just like, I can't be naked because that's illegal.

Yeah. So I just do whatever I can do. Right. Yeah. So what made you such a gentle, polite, decent person? I feel like most people are gentle and polite. No, they're not. Most people are angry and they curse a lot.

Man, that's not. You've been in L.A. too long. No, I'm from New York. Are you from New York? Maybe that's part of it. That's the reason. Yeah, yeah, that's it. You know, I was in Philly two days ago,

and Philly people are like what people think New York people are like. Yes, that's very true. Bro, they're so mean, bro. It's crazy. They are mean, they're aggressive. I mean, it's just like, it's wild. I was like, this is what they think New York is like.

Yeah, we're sports fans in the country, Philly. But did you ever live in New York? Yeah, I lived in New York for about a year. You did? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't stay? No, I never stay anywhere. I'm not from, I never stay anywhere. Like I was in, in 2020, I left LA and which was, I was living in this apartment for about

two years and that was the longest I've ever lived in any apartment. Really? Any apartment, any house, any- So you travel light. Yeah, I just, I'm always traveling. So I left to Atlanta, and I was there for like six months, and I was in Vegas about eight, and then I went to New York about a year, and I came back here, and I've been here about eight months. Damn.

How does your wife feel about that? Oh, she doesn't exist. Oh, you don't have a wife? No, no, no. Oh, you're fucking around. Yeah, you said something about a wife, and I didn't. I felt left out, so I was like, yeah, my wife. All right.

You don't want a wife. Why would a guy like you want a wife right now? I don't want a wife or a girlfriend or kids. No, that's like when you meet somebody, and their parents are super wealthy, and they get a job. It's like, you don't need that shit. Enjoy your life. I mean, eventually, right?

Eventually, when I, you know, i don't know i don't know when i don't think i plan on it you didn't plan on you just met her i had no intention of getting married my parents god bless them were not really suited for parenting and my model was sort of like i got the sense they weren't that into it oh really so i? Are they still together? No, my dad's dead. Oh, okay. He's been dead for 32 years. He died young. Dang, I'm sorry.

I think the cutoff point for I'm sorry is like, what is the cutoff point on I'm sorry? I don't know. It's not 32 years. See, you're so fucking polite. Who would say I'm sorry after 32 years? I mean, I don't know. I don't know how that feels, man.

I think it's a five-year window. It's five years? Yeah. Five years. Five years. That's it. And then you just nod. You just nod.

You take it in. You let them feel heard. Yeah. If they want to elaborate, which they usually do. Everybody wants to tell you about their dead parent, how they died, how they were by the bedside. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Okay, five years. Five years. That's about right. I feel like I'm going to be on a date and this girl is going to tell me her dad or mom died. And she's like, yeah, six years ago. And I'm like, she's just going to be. No, don't do that. He didn't even care about her dying.

I told her I was holding her and there was blood everywhere. He just shook his head. She said six years. Hey, you know, if you're not over it now, I don't know about this relationship. You know, how are you going to get over me? Oh, man, that's hilarious. Yeah.

Relationship, you know, how you gonna get over me? Oh man. That's hilarious. Yeah, I know my dad died and It sucked because Are you both your parents around? No, I mean my dad might be I never met him So yeah, yeah, and mom obviously is cuz she just introduced you and you know, what's funny She did introduce me on the special and I was on a plane I was on a plane, I was on a plane yesterday and I was talking to this lady. I love talking to old people.

She was like, she was like 80. She was super, she was just like, she does yoga like every day. She looks great. And I told her I didn't know, you know,

I didn't know my dad or whatever. She goes, I'm sorry. I never met him. That's like, you know, that's like,

that's like a song that's like, I'm my only child. And they're like, I don't have any siblings. I'm sorry. It's like, they don't even know what it's like. I have no idea. I mean, I see other people. That's like, you know, that's like, that's like a song that's like, I'm my only child. And they're like, I don't have any siblings. I'm sorry. It's like, they don't even know what it's like. I have no idea.

I mean, I see other people. I'm like, that's gotta be nice to have more money in the house. But that's all I think about. I'm not like, I don't know what I'm missing out on. Let me ask you something and be serious about this. Okay. Is Father's Day, has that always been like a sad day?

When you see other kids are playing catch with their dad. I've never even seen that. And they got arts and crafts. I see it on movies. You don't see it in real life? No. I don't see people playing. Still, you hear it in the news.

People talk about happy Father's Day. Do you just put your head down and go? No, no. Because when I was growing up, my mom was like, I'm your dad. And I'm like, okay. So we would celebrate my mom oh really yeah for father's day she's like i do i'm the mom and the dad you know so that's beautiful yeah so for father's day we would just give my mom gifts yeah yeah yeah no i didn't no i didn't i never

felt like when i was like younger when i was like younger i used to want a dad really yeah i always wanted that right and then that stopped around like 31, I'm 33. So about two years I've been getting, no I'm joking. But, because he didn't laugh with me. All right, so. I always know, you know what, it's a bad interview. I was thinking about, I wanted to ask you about moving so much, because I read in your bio

that you moved 20 times before you were 10 years old or something? Yeah, yeah, I just moved a lot. Like, I went to, like, three different schools, like, almost every year. And this was Memphis, this was Florida. Yeah, I never went to school in Florida, but when I was born in Portland, Oregon, I moved to Memphis when I was, like, nine. But I was, even before I moved to Memphis, I was, like, through Oregon, through Texas, back to Oregon. Yeah.

Then I was in Memphis, and I was back in Oregon. Then I was in Memphis, I was like through Oregon, through Texas, back to Oregon. Yeah. Then I was in Memphis and I was back in Oregon. Then I was in Bristol, Tennessee. Then I was, you know, I was, yeah, I moved a lot. I moved a lot. The first time I ever went to a school full year, I was in eighth grade and I was in a different state. Dude, if you want to talk about building a comedian, take a kid and move around 20 times because every time you go somewhere new,

you gotta reintroduce yourself to everybody. Yeah, I thought it was great. I was always a cool kid for like three days. And then they figured it out? They figured it out. They figured it out. They're like, man, this dude is lame, bro. But for three days, you know, if you're quiet too.

I used to be, it's crazy, because when you're quiet, there's like this mystique about you. They don't know. They're like, man, maybe, you know, if you're quiet too. Yeah. I used to be – it's crazy because when you're quiet, there's like this mystique about you. They don't know. They're like, man, maybe, you know, he's quiet. He's probably like – but then sometimes I would open my mouth and they'd be like, oh, bro, you don't know how to act. Right, right. But, yeah, I mean –

Yeah, but you can't commit to the quiet guy for the whole time. Eventually you got to talk. I know, I know. Especially when they ask you to read in front of the class. I used that i'm like oh no right but i know that that is a hard one i can remember or the worst is you write an essay and they make you read the essay the essay oh my gosh and they know you like stole it off the internet oh you didn't yeah yeah well no i didn't have it don't fucking shame me i I wasn't shaming you. No, I've been around.

There's experience that comes with this as well. But they're going to be like, oh, you got it from that book. They would probably say that. That's right. Yeah. That scroll. You got it off this. You stole that from the pigeon?

We already know. But by the way, you mentioned in your special that you're the only black comic from Oregon. Ron Funches. He's from Seattle. No, Oregon. Or Chicago. He was in Chicago until he was about 12. Yeah. And then he moved to Oregon.

He moved to Oregon? I thought he moved from Chicago to Oregon. I met him in- From Chicago to Oregon. What did I just say? You said that, but I thought- Roll back the tape. No, but I'm saying I thought that he moved from Chicago

as a comedian to Portland. No, when he was 13. Oh, he's from Portland? I don't know if it was Portland. Somewhere in Oregon. Oh. Yeah, I met him when I moved to Oregon when I was 19. Ron Funch is one of the most underrated comics in the country.

He's great. He is so fucking... And he takes the mic and he puts it down by his belt buckle. And he'll go on after some high-energy act at the comedy store who's killing. And it takes a minute. But he doesn't buckle. He walks out. He walks back and forth.

He takes some pauses. And after like three or four or five minutes, they're coming to him. It's just, I mean, it's like, I love when comics, I don't do that, I love when comics can do that. Yeah, yeah, well, I remember when I was in Oregon, it was him and Ian Carmel, there was, Oh yeah, Ian Carmel. Oh, yeah, Ian Carmel. Yeah, they were like, I mean, they just kind of knew.

They're like, okay, these are the guys that are going to blow up. So when he started blowing up, it was kind of like, it was really cool. But I was, it's weird because last night I was doing a show. I did a show, I was at Laugh Factory, and everybody was slaughterin'. They were like crushin'. You can't gauge if you're a good comedian at the Laugh Factory, everybody gets it. Yeah, yeah.

And I was like, hey guys, I just wanna let y'all know, I'm not gonna be that funny. All right, so let's, I was tryin' to reset the room, but they didn't like when I said that. Oh really? They didn't like it. Usually they're like, okay, all right, you know. Cause I seen that happen.

Like I seen two comedians, I seen another guy who got, he got canceled, but he was crushing. And he slaughtered. Then another guy. No, that's the club of cancellation. It was a comic store, yeah, it was a comic store. It's like the Island of Misfit Toys.

No, the Laugh Factory. The Laugh Factory? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it really? Oh, yeah, yeah. Check your good standing at the door and come on in i'm like thinking of the people that go and i'm like man there's a lot of people yeah yeah yeah well but but i seen the person that got canceled and then it's actually funny

because the person that went after them got canceled too but they they reset the room like that's where i got it from. They were like, hey, I need you to calm down. I'm not going to be that funny. And then they slaughtered. They lied. They were like, I got some new material. And they just went up and just, it was crazy.

I know there's one guy that's famous for that. He'll even pull out a piece of paper out of his back pocket and then do shit you've been seeing him do for 10 years. But it gives the audience that extra. They're like, oh, he's doing something new. Yeah, yeah, yeah.'s doing something yeah yeah yeah and then did you say you went to the store last night no no no no i was i was a laugh actor okay yeah i don't go to the storm i don't really go i mean i guess sometimes sometimes i go to the store

improv yeah improv i'm not i'm not on the wall that'd be cool though you're on the wall yeah that's all when did you get on the wall well there was this guy that used to run the store back in the cocaine and porn star days, like Kinison and all that. And I used to come in there and it was always like a Wayne brother or Carlos Mencia doing like an hour. They would drop in, not even on the schedule. They'd drop in and do an hour. And I was like, I'm not going to fuck with this place because I got other spots to do. You know, I'm not gonna fuck with this place because I got other spots to do I got you know I'm doing the factory and then so I waited till this guy Adam Egett came in and I was probably 10 years ago and Egett was a guy who I knew and so he brought me in and then uh it became my

I don't not my favorite club but I probably do more spots there a week than any place else and it is a place I'm gonna I'll mention you to Emily, the booker, because she should see you right away. You're a killer. That would be great, man. I would love to be at the comedy store. You're going to have to curse, though. I mean, I'll cuss.

Which word? I'll say it right now. Yeah, which word you want me to say in this, mother, father? No. I couldn't even say that. I remember, like, Shut Up was a cuss word growing up. It's crazy. Shut remember like Shut Up was a cuss word growing up. It's crazy.

Shut Up? Shut Up was a cuss word. Shut Up don't go up, but prices do. That's what we were saying. Ed Thompson was in Shut Up. Oh. Did you go to church a lot as a kid? Yeah, I went to church like eight days a week.

Oh, really? What branch of the company were you in? Christian. I don't know. It was just like- Like Baptist? Yeah, just all of them. Anyone that was available, we went.

Yeah. Yeah, anyone that was available, went to Sundays, Wednesdays. Do you feel like you had a relationship with Jesus or God? Yeah. Like you didn't talk? Yeah, I still do, but I wait until like I need something. That's not good. Yeah, probably not.

You don't want to be that friend. I'm that friend. I'm that friend. I know you ain't heard from me in a minute but please I'm just please I know I don't ask

for much but if you can make the results come back negative that's me right there yeah if you could just get her period can you send a period

down to Los Angeles please this, this week? And I'm going to hit you back next week. Next week, come around. I don't call. Just to say hi. I'm just going to check in next week. Because nobody asked about you.

Nobody ever asked about you. No, because I grew up Catholic, and I had a very had a very deep like conversational relationship with jesus yeah like i and it wasn't you know we had cool priests growing up so my relationship wasn't like he was a deity and i was down here it was really like jesus was this amazing john lennon kind of guy who just like you know said beautiful things and and represented openness and love. And I just really connected with that. That's awesome. I think it's still there.

It's kind of morphed into like a vague higher power kind of thing to me more than, you know, the actual like manifestation of the robes. Like energy, just good energy. Yeah. Yeah. You're just going to be like, I'm just going to be a good person. Yeah. Yeah. Which I feel like most people are good people. really believe that i think most people are good people

i think it's like i think everybody's trying their hardest yeah there we go yeah yeah because you ever meet someone that's like no most people aren't i'm like bro i think i think effort i think is good you know effort is all it is because we're all born with a different hand. You know, like some people, Jesus Christ, you know, they're abused as kids or they have extreme. You know, there's people that have these personality disorders, bipolar or borderline personality. If you have borderline personality, you are just categorically not going to connect with people as friends and you're going to be annoying. And so God bless you for just holding down a job yeah you know or maybe getting a relationship that you stay in you're going to be an asshole in traffic you're going to cut you whatever but yeah i mean it's it's hard to judge

that's why that's why one of the things that about the church that bothered me was these black and white rules about going to heaven and hell yeah because. Because Catholicism is fire and brimstone or angels. Yeah. There was no middle ground. You know, you had purgatory, but purgatory was still hell. Yeah. It was just a timeshare. It was a sublet.

And then I started to think about, well, why should all people have to live by these Ten Commandments? There should be, like, a sliding scale depending on how you started out, you know? I always thought, like, I don't know if you just – what about good people? Someone's, like, a good person, and they try, and they give effort, and they just – maybe they don't, and maybe they don't believe. And they don't believe, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. So it's like they go to hell? That kind of sucks. Yeah. You know? They're just good people because there's some people that believe that aren't that, you know. Right.

I don't know. I just thought it was, I don't know. I feel like that when I go to Costco. It's like, all right, I didn't get the membership, but I'm a good shopper. I'm going to spend a lot of money here you only get discounts when you have the you don't you get in without the car well you can get in here's the beauty of costco they let you in without a card but when you try to

check out they won't let you unless you have the card so you can waste an hour filling up your car and then go like oh is it an hour of waste if they get free samples? No, that's true. Yeah. Yeah, that's my jam. That's right. I used to love going. You ever go into Costco and they don't have samples? You're like, what are you guys doing?

No, it's built into the price. Yeah. I'm paying for these samples. Yeah. I know you're not giving them for free. I'm going to be a Karen, hey. Right. You know, just make a call, complain.

Yeah, and then, you know then Costco's pretty sweet for gas because, I don't know, wherever you've lived, the gas was not expensive as it is in L.A. It's over $5 a gallon right now. Yeah, I have an electric car. Do you really? Yeah, I don't know. What kind of car is it?

It's a Tesla. Look at you. I mean, they're not bad. You're doing all right for yourself. That's not. If it was years ago, then it would make sense. But Teslas are super affordable. Is it the three?

It's the Model S. It's the Model S. Look at you. Doing your world tour. I don't have kids. No wife, no kids. Yeah, that's what it is. No wife, no kids.

Friends buying you your clothes. You got no overhead, man. I really don't, man. I I'm like I have nothing that I have like you know I retired my mom so that was pretty cool that's nice but what does that mean that she doesn't have to work anymore so you pay for her rent I just give her but yeah I just I just gave her money but then she doesn't like my mom likes to do things of course course. So she's like super helpful. She comes on the road with me.

She sells my merchandise. She is good in front of a mic. Does she have experience being in front of people? Yeah, she just, us as kids, you know, she used to make fun of us. But she was never like a public speaker in any way. She was a singer. Yeah, so she's been in front of the mic, yeah.

No kidding. Yeah, she was a singer. She used to be, she was a gospel singer. Damn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She like of the mic, yeah. No kidding. Yeah, she was a singer. She used to be a gospel singer. Damn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She wrote songs. She has a CD. Really?

Yeah, yeah. Her ringtone is a song that, you know, yeah, her ringtone is one of our favorite songs that she sang. Who's the artist? It's her. Oh, nice. Can we hear it? I mean, sure.

Oh, no, it's her ringtone. It's when her phone rings. No, it's when my phone. Siri, text mom to call me. Yeah. Oh, she's going to call you in the ringtone. She's going to call me when you hear the ringtone. See, these young kids with the technology.

That would have taken me 20 minutes to figure out how to accomplish this. And when you're retiring your mom, she's got to call you back fast. That's the rule. Mom, here's the deal. I'm going to pay your rent, but I do these things called podcasts. And sometimes you're going to need to call me on the podcast. No, she doesn't got to do anything. She's awesome.

Where does she live now? She lives in Atlanta. Oh, nice. I love Atlanta. Why do you like Atlanta? Can you hear it? Turn it up a little more. If I turn it up, it's gonna put on silent.

I'm so glad that God put you in my life. That's my dad singing. Hey. Somebody out here, it's your birthday. Somebody out here, it's your birthday. It's your birthday. It's your birthday. Okay, ma.

Happy birthday. Thank you. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. Okay. I didn't know he was going to do that. But listen, that's my mom. I'm on a podcast.

I just want them to hear your ringtone. Oh. You want to say hi? Hey, everybody. Hey, Mom. How are you? That's great. I'm a little embarrassed, but, you know, I'm going to get over it.

I was just telling Preacher how great you were opening up his special. You seem like you've spent a lot of time speaking in front of people. Oh, I was a teacher. Oh, you didn't mention that. I'm not bad. I did a bad job. She taught for 30 years. Yeah, that's a lot of, yeah.

Did you ever get physical with one of the kids? I wanted to, but that would have been my job. He just asked if you beat up some kids one time she tripped some kid that was rollerblading yeah I'm snitching why you gonna put me on blast she tripped a kid cause she hated the way they rollerblade that's assault that kid doesn't know us

anyway alright I'll talk to you later um no i love atlanta well i have good friends there so i've been going there since the the 96 olympics was the first time i went to atlanta um i like uh they got beautiful parks they got uh great clubs um the diversity is unlike any city in the country. Yeah, that's the only thing I like about Atlanta. Yeah. Is that there's more black people.

Yeah. I'm like, this is what it feels like to walk around and be white in America. Yeah. I was like, there's so many black people. Right. So I thought it was pretty cool, you know, to see someone that looks like me. At every level. Because, you know, you've got Tyler Perry and you've got a lot of black-owned businesses.

So, like, I stayed at the Four've got a lot of black-owned businesses. So, like, I stayed at the Four Seasons last time I was there. All the other guys were black. I was like, you don't see that a lot at Four Seasons. Yeah, you don't see that. So I thought it's awesome. It's like it's the B Hollywood. It's Hollywood of the South.

I heard, like, Nashville was the Hollywood of the South. Nashville is, well, I was just in Nashville. I went there to see a concert. What did you see? Jason Isbell. He's a country singer. Oh, okay. I'm not into country, but this guy is kind of special.

Okay, cool. And the Ryman Auditorium, which they call the church because it used to be a church, and it was the original Grand Ole Opry. Yeah. You've never heard sound like this. I bet your mom knows about it. You've never heard sound like this. I bet your mom knows about it. You've never heard sound like this. It's like wooden ceilings.

You sit in pews. It's a church. Yeah. And it's, but the city is filled with bachelorette parties. Oh, okay. It's become the hot spot for bachelorette parties. Really? National?

Yeah, you're downtown. They got those, you know those carts where everybody bicycles and they have a bar. Yeah, yeah're downtown. They got those carts where everybody bicycles and they have a bar. I mean, I don't believe in multi-round ammunition type guns. I think they're bad for the most part. Yeah. But there are exceptions. Oh, my gosh. That's an exception?

You don't have to even lead them by that much because they're not going that fast. Have you been to Nashville? Yeah, I've been to every, I think, major city. What do you do? What's the club in Nashville? Yeah, I know what you're... Zany's? Zany's.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, Zany's. Yeah, I've done Zany's a bunch of times. That's the only club there, right? I think so. I was supposed to do it once, and I canceled at the last minute, and they never forgave me. Oh, they didn't?

I'm so bummed because I love the city. I hear amazing things about the club, and I just wish they'd forgive me. Yeah, I can't imagine them not forgiving you. Right? But, yeah, things happen, you know? Well, there's so many comics comics it's easy for them to go like well we don't need anyone really there's gonna be a million comics pitched to me every week yeah yeah what's your favorite club i was at my least favorite club this weekend what's that i'm

not gonna say i'll tell you off camera was it in florida no i wasn't okay it wasn't florida um because a lot of comics don't like Florida. I love Florida, actually. I got a handful that are my favorites. I like San Francisco Punchline, Denver Comedy Works, Helium in Philly, The Store, The Improv, Cellar in New York. Those are probably my favorites. Yeah, what are yours? Yeah, I mean, all the ones you named. Seller in New York. Those are probably my favorites. Yeah. What are yours?

Yeah, I mean, all the ones you named. Also, Greensboro, North Carolina. Really? Excuse me. Sorry. Definitely not that one. It was Raleigh, North Carolina. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Charlie Goodnights? Yeah, Goodnights. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a fun, Goodnights. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a fun club. That's a really fun one. They laugh for you. That one, and Rochester, New York is probably my favorite.

No shit. Rochester is probably my favorite. What's the club? It's a comedy at the Carlson. Yeah, I did that. It's called the Kevin Meaney Room. The club itself. Yeah, Kevin Meaney's his comic that passed away,

and they named the room after him. Okay. But I'm forgetting Portland Helium is also. Oh, yeah, yeah. Portland Helium was like, oh, my gosh. That's the first time I ever got a stand ovation in the middle of my set. Really? It was crazy.

Yeah, yeah. It was great. Were they walking and standing up? No, they did. They stood up and clapped in the middle of my set. That's amazing. It's never happened again. Yeah.

I don't even get stand ovations in the middle of my set. That's like a woman having an orgasm halfway through sex and then you keep going. You know? And you're like, I don't even have to

close strong now. Yeah, I was like, yeah, I'm gonna get off stage. I think I'm good now. You got it, right? Yeah, right. Well, yeah,

but it's gonna be good for you to be in LA because obviously, you know, you have great energy. I think it translates to the camera really well. You haven't done a ton of acting yet, have you? No, I've done some acting. I mean, not a ton. You know, I've been in, you know, some sitcoms.

Oh, yeah? What sitcoms have you been in? I was on Mr. Mayor for five seconds and I did a, in 2020, I was on a sitcom called Connecting

and did you watch it? Exactly. That's why. Nobody was connecting to that one. Nobody connected to that and, you know,

I just did a, just a couple, hey, you know, I was on Think You Should Leave, you know, for a second. Oh, I love that show. Oh, I love it too.

Yeah. It's so funny. My wife hates it because we have opposite tastes in comedy. Man. Mine is good and hers is bad. You know what's funny? When people don't like it, I'm like, I get it. I get why you don't like it.

But that's why I love it. It's so stupid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like things that not everybody likes. It makes it funnier to me that they're not trying to please everybody. Yeah, they're not. The pilot episode is my favorite sketch in it. He's sitting at a coffee shop having a job interview,

and he gets the job. The guy's like, you got it. And then he's like, good to see you. Okay, we'll talk soon. And he gets to the door, and he goes to push it. And the guy goes, no, I think you pull it. And he goes, no, no, you push it. And then he pushes it again.

He goes, I think you pull it. I think I know you push it. And anyway, I'm not even going to tell you the ending. Just keep watching it. Yeah, that was so funny. So funny. I like the one where he does, he wanted to have a lunch, but they had a meeting. So he had a hot dog.

So he's like eating a hot dog. They're like, are you eating a hot dog? He's like, huh? Because I've done that before. I'm like, you're trying to be slick. He's trying to cough. Oh, yeah. Or you're on a phone call and you're trying to eat a meal.

Yeah. Yeah. You ever use the bathroom on the phone and you forget to mute? Oh, yeah. And then you just let it out. Yeah. And you look at your phone and it says mute. You're like, you're on the toilet?

You're like, what? Why would I do that to you? Why would I be on the toilet? He gaslight him. Why would I? Come on, that's stupid. I would not do that. I was doing this hidden camera show back in New York many years ago. And I had on glasses that had a camera embedded in them

so you could see out. And so I'm doing bits on the street, and we're in Times Square. And then I was like, I got to go take a piss. So I go into the urinal and I'm taking a piss and over my earpiece they go, Greg, the entire booth is now looking at your penis.

Man. But there was, they had some respect. I came out, there was some respect. Because I don't look like it, but I actually have a big penis. Okay, that's great man.

Yeah, I just wanted you to know that. I wanted to know. Were you wondering? I was. Yeah. I was wondering, that's the first thing, cause when I shook his hand, I was like, I wonder how his hand feels on his penis.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. That's what I was thinking. This feels like a hand that keeps closing on me. Yeah. Yeah, right. Who are your friends in comedy? Who are your good friends? I don't have any friends in comedy.

No, Drew Lynch, he's my friend in comedy. I have my brother, Ken Miller. He's a comedian? Ken Miller? Yeah. Yeah. Who's Ken? I don't know.

Don't look at me like that. Ken Miller, yeah, he's funny. He's amazing. I know, but why would I? You looked at me like you were talking about Richard Pryor or something. Is Ken Miller that big of a deal? He's pretty massive. You don't know Ken Miller?

No. How would I know him from? Are you trolling me right now i'm dead serious i've never heard of he's been doing comedy for about i mean he hasn't been doing it like he's been doing it about just under 20 years but like he's oh shit yeah kid ken ken miller are you you're still looking at me like i'm crazy i thought you were joking i thought you're joking you want me to Google him right now? You don't know who Ken Miller is? I mean, does he have big credits? Bro, he's like, I mean, I know Matt Rife is the biggest comedian probably right now. Yeah.

But, I mean, he's got to be up there. And that's your brother? He's like my friend. He's like my brother, you know. Ken Miller. Yeah. Okay. You're joking.

He's joking. You're joking. Everybody know Ken Miller. I mean, I thought I knew i mean i thought i knew everybody i thought i knew everybody you do know everybody that's how i know you're joking yeah yeah no no no you don't know ken miller black guy yeah see yeah see yeah it's not even a black he is black i know it's not a black name there's actually a doctor that's like named ken miller yeah's actually a doctor that's named Ken Miller. Is he a doctor? Is he a doctor?

I can't wait to check out this guy, Ken Miller, now. Yeah. As soon as you pop up, you can be like, oh, he was- Well, you never heard of Kevin Meaney. Kevin Meaney was one of the- I know Kevin Meaney. Oh, you did? Yeah.

Oh, okay. When did you say Kevin Meaney? I said that was the name of the room up in Rochester. Oh, that's probably where I heard of him just now, when you said Kevin Meaney. Yeah. Yeah, so I never heard of him until now. Ken Miller. Yeah.

You think you got him on my podcast? Yes. Alright, thanks for coming on. I immediately started texting Ken Miller. I'm going to be like, hey Ken, he didn't know who you were. So

what's the plan? Are you going to stay in L.A. for a while, or are you just going to keep going like a Rolling Stone? I don't know what I'm going to be doing. I don't know where I'm at right now, to be honest. Where do you live in L.A.? I live in Studio City. I love L.A.

That's for transgen people. Transgender people? Transgens. I was like, I do see it. There are a lot of trans transgen people. Transgender people? Transgens. I was like, I do see it. There are a lot of trans and transgender people, though. There are a lot of trans. It's amazing. I'm not transgender.

Because that means you've got to have two outfits. You've got to travel light, and yet you've got to have a dress and some sensible slack. Transgen, transgender people. That's what I thought you said. no like studio city isn't a neighborhood it's like it's like i don't know commerce it's it's not it's not warm neighborhood-y is it oh it feels like it more comparison to where i mean i used to live in culver city. That was kind of neighborhood. Yeah, that's neighborhood-y. Have you met neighbors? Yeah, my neighbors come to my shows.

No shit. Yeah, they're regular. Wow, you're making it work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you should, anytime you move into some place, you got to be cool with the neighbors. I'm the same way. Yeah, just so they can look out for you. Right.

But then you got to look out for them. Yeah, but that's nice. That is nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, especially when you like old people. You got old neighbors? I don't have old neighbors. They're my age, and then there's, I guess,

some a little bit older and some a little bit younger. Yeah. Yeah, but pretty much, yeah. Yeah, I know my neighbors. They're great. They're great. Let's talk about your special. Yeah. That's the kind of transitions I make know my neighbors. They're great. They're great. Let's talk about your special. Yeah.

That's the kind of transitions I make in my podcast. Yeah, it's great. Just fucking, we're talking about neighbors, and it's just stalling out. I don't blame you. It's not a great question. It's all good. It could be a great question.

I mean, it could be like, you could have a Kramer-type neighbor with, you could roll out a bunch of stories. But what's he doing? Kramer is probably working the laugh factory. He's closing the show. He's the original. He's the original canceled.

So your special is going on YouTube and it's coming out. It came out last week. By the time this airs, it will have been out for a few days. Oh, nice. It looks amazing. Where did you shoot it? Thank you. I shot it at Colony Theater in Burbank.

Why Burbank? Because that was the closest to me. We didn't really think this through. Okay. Yeah. The outfit I got that day. I'm not, you know, this is all. I just wanted, I was looking at places and that looked really cool we all decided on that and i was like that's

close to my house yeah you know not my house i wasn't living in l.a at the time actually but this is i was i was like that's where i'm at i'm in l.a and um i like the set design i like the directing really good editing yeah yeah it's beautiful thank you i spent some money on it huh i yeah i did i spent i spent that's the most money i spent on anything i think yeah in my life that's an investment in yourself yeah yeah i think it's but yeah it's definitely an investment in myself and um i think it's i'm just really proud of i think it's i think it's funny you know know. I mean, I think I kind of, I don't know how you feel about your stuff,

but I kind of hate it because I think I've been looking at it. I hate it. Yeah. That's why I just shot a special a few months ago and I said to the guy, I'm going to give you notes immediately because I want to turn this thing around really fast and get it out.

He goes, okay, okay. He goes, you know how many comics tell me that? And then it takes months to do. I go, that's not going to be me. It's been months. Yeah. I can't look at myself. I can't hear those jokes again.

I just hate it. I just hate looking at it. But I am proud. I do think it's, you know, because people will be like, why should I watch it if it's, you know, you hate it. No, I'm telling people that it's great. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's great. Which it probably is. I'm talking about yours. Oh. Yeah talking about yours oh yeah yeah oh you think my special is great yes thank you yeah i appreciate you watching that's awesome right um i mean it's no ken what's his name it's not you don't know who ken miller is bro he is like massive can't wait to see massive doesn't always mean good yeah that's true's true. Yeah. That's very true. Is he good? No, he's great. Yeah. He's great. But I mean, he's like, he's just like well-respected.

People know him. Uh-huh. You know what I mean? He's like, I don't know. But that massive doesn't mean good, you know? So. So your special, did you try to sell it to Netflix? Yeah, I tried to sell it to Netflix and HBO,

a bunch of people, a bunch of people a bunch of people some people said no some people didn't reply fast enough yeah and then we were just kind of like because we already had an idea we're going to release around this time yeah and um but yeah man you know i i you know i i this this would be my second special my first one's on amazon dropped through bt uh plus and then it was on there for like a year, and then it was on BET Plus. BET Plus is getting big because of Ms. Pat's show. Yeah, Ms. Pat's doing really good. She brought a lot of people to the channel. She did, she did, she did.

So I was the first special on there. And then, yeah, so I'm putting it on YouTube, which is great because even my special on Amazon, people from other countries can't watch it. Okay. Yeah. So YouTube, everyone can watch it. And that'd be great, man. I just want to get it out there.

Get it out there. Shop it up. I know you got a big TikTok presence. Yeah. I guess you got to feed that beast. You got to keep putting material on there. Just for six more months until they drop it. You think that's going to happen?

For sure. They said they're going to cancel it unless someone from the U.S. buys it. And they're not going to sell it to anyone from the U.S. Why would they do that? So it's going to get canceled. It's going to end up at the laugh factor. That's the only place you're going to be able to watch TikTok. Yeah, that's probably it.

Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if there's going gonna be a way you can have the app on your phone i'm sure right i mean all that content can't go just disappear although it kind of did with myspace that's before your time but yeah no it wasn't i had myspace you did yeah i remember myspace was the shit i know Because you could put your tour dates up, and it would do location services so that it would hit Minnesota. If you're going to Minnesota, it would hit all your followers in Minnesota hard with your dates.

Wow, yeah. Now you got to pay for that. Yeah. Yeah, you got to pay for that now. You do that? You pay for it? Facebook? Facebook posts?

Yeah, and it works. Are there other platforms that you boost on or just Facebook? I don't know. I actually got a social media company. Oh, you do? Yeah, I'm trying to stay off social media. How's that company working out for you? They're great. I think they're fine. I think most companies are fine. Yeah.

You know, they work, they do a really good job. They can only do as good as you do in terms of getting them new material. Yeah, that's what it is. I don't feel like, you know, people, agents, managers,

they get paid 10% because they do 10% of the work so you can't get super, you know, upset. You gotta go and work. Yeah,

you gotta do the work. You gotta do the work. I mean, that's the thing about this business is you used to just have to be funny. Now you gotta,

you gotta have your shit together. You gotta get up early, you gotta do some editing you got to do some posting i know i know you got to do a podcast you got to shoot a video i mean it's it's relentless how long you been doing this podcast 14 years word i'm one of the og podcasts really yep 14 that's crazy when I started it was just me, Marin, Rogan Jimmy Pardo Chris Hardwick that was it and then everyone in Cobb Cobb doesn't fucking shot right past me

sat here like a drunk just watching life go by that's crazy now this is fun to do because first of all I get to hang out with friends that I know, that I love spending an hour with, and then I get to meet new people like you. This is really great talking to you.

Thank you. Getting to know you. Forced me to watch your special, which I probably wouldn't have seen. I'm glad you watched it. I'm glad you liked it, man. I respect your comedy a lot. Yeah, thank you.

You know, I mean, and also, especially as long as you've been doing comedy, it seems like you've been doing comedy, it seems like you would hate watching comedy. I just don't watch it if I don't. If it doesn't speak to me pretty quickly, I just don't watch it. But I love when I see somebody new that's good. You know who I just saw? I was going to ask you, who's someone new you like?

That kid Marcello on SNL. Yeah, Marcello. Marcello? Yeah, Marcello. He's fucking good. You know who I just saw? I was going to ask you, who's someone new you like? That kid Marcello on SNL. Yeah, Marcello. Marcello? Yeah, Marcello. He's fucking good. I just hung out with him and I watched him do a couple sets. He's really good. Brian Holtzman.

You know Brian Holtzman? Yeah. He was a store comic and now he's out in Austin. Oh, dope. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's really good. Who else is new and good? Rick Ingram. He was was just on I like Rick

but you know Fahim Anwar yeah he was at my show yesterday oh really yeah he just filmed a special so I think he's working on new material he's always doing new specials he's very prolific yeah yeah he comes out with material pretty crazy I was just listening to a special on Spotify. Yeah. It's one 2017. Right. Very silly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's silly. Yeah, super silly. I love it.

It's good. I like silly. I don't think there's enough silly in comedy right now. There's a lot of like, serious, I'm gonna change your life and here's a point I'm making.

Right. You know, yeah, there's a lot of that. Which is fine. I think it's fine. It's fine, but not unless you're getting, if you're not getting laughs,

it's not fine. Yeah, yeah. Some, yeah. I think we're getting past that though because I do remember that being being a little bit of an era of people just trying to say something prolific. Right. And they're trying to make a point.

Yeah. And they'd make a point, and people would clap, but I'm like, well, that's not really funny. Yeah. You know what? Yeah, I want to see that written down. Can you send me that on a piece of paper? Because I got to search for the funny in that one.

Yeah. And then you said you're 13% Irish, and this is the St. Patrick's Day show. This will come out on March 19th. Nice. So you took the Ancestor DNA test? Yeah. Which one did you do? I did 23 and me.

23 and me. Yeah, I remember people talking about it. They're like, I don't want to take that test and they get my DNA. Right. And I'm like, I don't care. I don't care. You don't have little kids that are going to show up in five years? They're not my kids.

Okay? They're not my kids. Oh, no mistakes? You didn't do any unprotected sex? I don't have any kids. I don't have any kids. I don't have any scares. I don't have any. I'm't have any kids i don't have any scares i don't have any i'm not even doing anything right now really i'll be back though really yeah look i caught up i'm

all right damn good for you i don't need to i feel like i'm i treat like um i treat like sex like i treat you know alcohol alcohol and weed or something. I think it's just fun. Yeah. You know, I think it's just fun. But I think it's a fun distraction. Right. You know, I started drinking in 2020,

I used to drink once a year on my birthday. And in 2020 I got stuck in the house and there was a bunch of alcohol that people had given me throughout the years. Yeah. And I just started drinking it all. And I was like, I'm going to try out being an alcoholic. I just decided to try it out. I was like, I'll be an alcoholic for a year.

I decided in my head. And then it turned to like a year and a half. And I was like, all right. No shit. Yeah, yeah. And so I hadn't drank in a couple years. But I was going to drink my birthday, which was, and my birthday's today, but I was going to drink yesterday

when I was celebrating my birthday. And then I went to the bartender, and I was like, all right, because they were trying to buy me a drink, and he was like, nah. I was like, what do you mean? He goes, nah, you're not drinking. And I was like, all right, I'm just not going to drink. So I decided I'm not, I didn't drink. So drunk on your birthday. Yeah. High on 420. No, I'm not not going to drink. So I decided I'm not. I didn't drink. So drunk on your birthday.

Yeah. High on 420. No, I'm not. No. Not of. I don't. If I was going to. But you should pick a day. If your birthday is your drunk day, then 420 should be your pot day.

But I'm not doing a drunk. And then sex on 9-11. Just one day of the year. Commit. Commit. just one day of the year, commit. I was expecting Valentine's Day or something, man.

This dude is wild. You got to cheer up. I mean, that's crazy. To say a day. That's crazy. Yeah. Is it? I mean, it's not, it's like,

remember when Progiso Neal was doing that joke? He's like, he was talking about 9-11. He's like, I give it 10 years and it's a barbecue. You know? I'll give it 10 years. And he's not even like, there's kids that are drinking now.

They're going to bars and they're drinking. They weren't even born when 9-11 happened. It's crazy, bro. It happened in 2001, right? 2001, and I remember Louis C.K. was the first guy I saw do a joke about it after it. You remember this joke? Oh, my gosh. No.

How's it going? I remember doing it. They say you can judge your humanity by how long you waited to masturbate after 9-11. I jerked off in between the first and second towers. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That dude is, he's amazing. I mean, I know he got in trouble for whatever the things.

Yeah. I didn't, you know, I didn't read up what he was doing. I just heard of bad things. But, I mean, I was watching a special at the Dolby Theater, and I was like, why don't people consider him the greatest comedian ever? I kind of think he is. Yeah, yeah. I kind of think he is.

I was like, why don't people do that? And I was like, oh, because they got mad at him. Yeah. But I was like, let's do this. No, because when you talk about the greatest. He's probably like, yeah.

I mean, his mind is so different than anybody else's. His joke structure is completely random. He doesn't do, most people figure out a great joke structure.

Like Chris Rock, one of the best ever but he does a kind of preacher thing he sets up the premise yeah you repeats the premise repeats the premise yeah and and does this you know and like you know you just kind of see how everybody works you can't figure out how louis does it yeah he even like i remember in a couple of his um a couple of bits he did he started off with a uh similar premise yeah i've heard before and i'm like oh he's gonna do and i'm like oh that's not where i thought he was gonna go with that right right you know like his closer i mean it was yeah

and he also created this this whole new structure where you you give them a statement that is indefensible, that is so awful that you can't. You can't. And then by the end of the joke, you're going like, all right, I kind of see that. You know, like like like you talk like on SNL. He's like, oh, my God, you know, child molesters. You got to think like, you know, it's the worst treatment any human being gets when they find out you're a child molester people hate you they beat you up he goes so it must be really good yeah it's gotta be bad for us bad for us but for them gotta be really good the way he did that I was like and by the end of the bit you go that makes perfect

yeah i know because that's like i mean that's that's crazy yeah he's brilliant yeah he's pretty good so as far as being irish do you connect to that if you have any interest you have any interest in going to the old sod and sitting in a pub and drinking i was in ireland i was in ireland uh last year i did my I did a tour I was in I was in Northern Ireland oh no shit and I thought they were racist I think they're just

rude people no they're not racist in Ireland not racist no not in Dublin but Northern Ireland no Northern Ireland

actually was where Frederick Douglass when he was doing his tour of the states yeah he went to Ireland and he said this is my new home and he was in his tour of the states, he went to Ireland and he said, this is my new home.

And he was in Northern Ireland and Dublin. And he said they were the least racist people he'd ever met in his life. But we're talking about Frederick Douglass going to Ireland in what time? The 1860s. The 1860s, yeah. There was like slaves up there. And he was like, I don't have to be a slave here? That's like low.

That's true. The bar is pretty low. That's pretty low, man. what I mean? That's true. The bar is pretty low. That's pretty low, man. They're not making me work. I love these people. Yeah. It's like going to McDonald's or something. It's like, this is the best food I've ever had.

But you're starving. Yeah, you're starving. It's like, this is not that good. Where did you perform in Northern Ireland? I don't know the venue. I forgot the venues, but, you know. Was, like, a tour somebody set up for you? Yeah, yeah.

Well, what it was was I just wanted to leave the country. So I was like, I want to leave the country. And so I was like, because I'm leaving the country, because y'all just set up a tour, and they did. And so I didn't get the experience much, because I was traveling like every other day i mean we had like 21 we had something like that like like we had it was 21 days but it was like 18 shows or something like that you know and places in europe europe is so

close together which they they they talk about how lazy americans are because we only speak like one language but they speak like two three three, four languages but there's right there you know like if we you know we don't have we don't have neighbors that speak French and Italian and you know we have accents that's as far along as we've come

yeah and even some accents I'm like yeah what'd you say? so you got some tour dates coming up let's Like, what'd you say? Yep, yep. So you got some tour dates coming up. Let's talk about those for a minute. You got, Jesus Christ, Vegas, Boise, Spokane, Eugene, Boston, Nashua, Burlington, Royal Oak, Michigan, Kansas City, Hickory, North Carolina.

Oh, that's gonna be fun. If you wanna get tickets, you're going to go to, is it preacherlawson.com? Preacherlawson.com, yeah, preacherlawson.com. And also, before we go, I always like to do a thing called

Fastballs with Fits. Okay, let's do it. Have you ever saved somebody's life? No. That's why it's called fastball sometimes. Sometimes it's a ball. I was like, that's saving one's life. I'm like, man.

Cause I thought about a few things. I was like, wow, what a horrible human being. I've never, I've had my life saved though you have yeah a bunch of times what do you mean a bunch of times well a bunch of times i almost died and that's they saved me from what i remember one time i was like a kid and um you know we was in a water park and my mom you know i have three other siblings i'm the youngest and my i have my brother my sister she's disabled and they have my uh my uh middle brother and i so we sorry yeah what it's been for your sister it's been long to five years okay so but so uh we all went down the slide i was on my mom's lap but they went

they went uh by themselves but we went directly afterwards so i remember i fell in the water my sister couldn't swim that was my mom she wouldn't saved she wouldn't saved my sister and then i was sitting at the bottom of the pool and i was drowning and i was like i think i'm drowning right now like i'm gonna sit at the bottom yeah and then my mom dives in and she saves me and she dives in and saves my brother dives in saves she saves me. And she dives in and saves my brother. Dives in and saves my other brother. So all four kids? She saved all four kids in one? Yeah, we were all dying.

We were all dying. Did you go down a slide? We just went down a slide. But no one, the lifeguard, I remember the lifeguard, I remember looking at him just watch my mom go back in. Go back in to save. No one tried to help save. But I almost died there.

Now, were you guys all little? They were tiny. So nobody knew how to swim. No one knew to help save, but I almost died there. Now, were you guys all little? They were tiny. So nobody knew how to swim. No one knew how to swim. But let's go down a slide into a pool. Yeah, my mom, great idea. But I think that it didn't look that deep or something. I don't know, but I thought, yeah, it was.

So your mom's a hero. I mean, she also tried to kill us, but yeah. I guess she is. So she didn't hit her students. I don't know if you've ever seen, you probably haven't seen this, but there's an episode of Powerpuff Girls. Powderpuff Girls?

Powerpuff Girls. Powerpuff? Yeah, you don't know that show? No. Okay. I think that'd be weird if you did. So that's weird. But there's an episode of Powerpuff Girls. I'm not going to explain this.

Was Ken Martin on that? Ken Miller. And I know he's trolling me because Ken Miller is known by every comedian. So anyway, another time I almost died is I was, I think I was like 25 or 26, and then I was choking, I was chewing some gum, and I don't know if you ever do this, but when you chew gum, it's gone, the flavor is gone yeah

like 60 seconds right so I keep stuff in my mouth with gum so I had so much gum in my mouth yeah that I was like talking and I was like wasn't paying attention I started choking on the gum there's some random dude at the gas station like half my side just yanked me up boom boom and just like it flew out my mouth yeah it made me I was glad he saved my life, but it did not make me feel as masculine. No. I mean, he ragdolled me. Yeah, oh, he did? I was just, I didn't like this motion.

I was like, oh, man. And I was like, just let me die. Don't ever do that. I'm pregnant right now. You know what the gangster move would have been? Yeah. Bend over, pick up the gum, put it back in your mouth, and then just walk away

that's what i should have did man no but yeah i had a couple people save my life wow sorry for being super slow a dj ever do it dj ever save your life who's dj you ever heard that song last night a dj saved, no, no. Who is that artist? It was an 80s disco song. Ken knows it. There are two types of people in the world. Go. There's kind of people and lost people.

So I like that they're lost. They're not bad. They just haven't become good people yet in your mind. Yeah, I think they're just, I think everyone, you didn't go through a villain stage in your life? Yeah, absolutely. I think we all do that. So I think we're all like, I don't care about being a good person.

And then you're like, I think I should be a good person. Yeah. I think when I first got successful, like I had a year where I had a big fat network sitcom development deal. I was hosting a show on MTV. Yeah. And I kind of was a dick to some people. Yeah. I was like,

I would, I would show up to clubs and bump people. Yeah. And you know, I just, I look back and I cringe. Yeah. Now,

whenever somebody blows up, like people give Matt Rife shit. I'm like, give the, first of all, He's nice. He's not a dick. He's not. He's extremely nice.

Super nice. Generous guy, you know, and I think he's funny and like, there's just this reaction to people getting big and even if he was a dick,

I'd give him a pass because it throws your life. It does. Yeah. You've experienced it. It does. Yeah. You've experienced it. You're blowing up. I mean, not that level, but, yeah, I've had that happen. But I always give people a pass.

Yeah. Because, I mean, we all have bad days anyway, so you might meet someone that had a bad day, and then you meet them again, they're great. That's happened before. And it's also, I think a lot of people, when they're upset with, you know, people like Matt Rife or just people in general doing better than them, that's what it is.

It's like, you know, like I've had someone, I've had a couple people that have like been super, I mean, rude to me coming up. I mean, they're just super mean. They were jerks. And then they got something that periflated their career, and then they just, they're nice to me. Yeah.

You know? They'll start doing better than me and they're like, hey, hey, how you doing? Like they're just nice. But when they're not doing, when they look at someone, they're like, I think I'm funny in them and they're doing better than me, they just kinda like, that's what people do.

They're like, I'm funny in Matt. I don't know why I'm not, you know? So they just, they have that hate. Do you think that competitiveness can be a good thing in your career? Yeah, I think competitiveness is great in anything. Yeah. I think in any field.

I mean, I've always, I feel like, yeah, I think that like. Who are you competitive with? Like, who do you look at and go, not in a bad way, just like, like for me, Jeff Ross and I came up at the same time, and he'd get stuff, and I'd be like, how the fuck did he get Letterman? I should be getting Letterman. And now we're dear friends. We always have been, but he drove me, I think.

Yeah. Who drives you? I don't know, man. I think that everybody does. It's Ken, right? Ken Miller drives me. Yeah, he drives me crazy because I'm like, I'm so much funnier than him. Why is he doing better than me?

Man, I can't, yeah. It's weird. You just keep bringing him up. It's like you're obsessed. What are you talking about have you ever not finished a set on stage yeah absolutely what happened well I think I might have been bombing or um I mean that happens a lot that happened a lot in the beginning where I was a bomb and I'm like all right I'm you know I'm gonna get out of here yeah you know um that

happened like um a couple days ago when I was at, I went to an open mic and, you know, it was weird. So it was an open mic and, you know, I was just there because I was doing Penn State, but my boy was there. So I was like, I'm going to hang out with my boy. He's like, I'm going to go to an open mic. I was like, I'm going with you. So I stopped by and I get on stage and there's a girl.

She's like, oh my gosh, you the big booty dude. And I was like, I don't stage and there's a girl she's like oh my gosh you the booty you the big booty dude and I was like I don't know I've never heard that yeah I appreciate that I was hoping you recognized me for my special or something but she's like you the big booty you do with the booty right and I'm like uh I guess so uh it's real no idea what she's talking about I do know she's talking about I have I have a I have a couple jokes jokes about this thing I got on me. But I just never heard that happen. I mean, she could have said, you're the comedian. Yeah.

Whatever. So you walked off? No, I did my set, but then people started taking videos and pictures of me. And then there was this woman, she kind of like, it was a light that flashed and i was like you can you don't need to flash like there's plenty of lights and then this dude was like no that mean get off stage and i was like i was like okay he's like no you got a minute and i was like nah man i don't i don't need to be here like yeah and i got off stage and then he like

came back because he i guess some people talked to him like hey you just kicked preacher off stage and he was trying to get me back on stage. Did he work there? He was the host. Oh. He was the host and he was like, come back. Go do some more time. He's like, sorry, that was just a new spot.

I was like, I don't want to go back. I don't want to do an open mic. I was just doing it because I thought it would be fun. Which it was fun. It was all right. It was all right. But those college shows, man, you have to do the hour. You have to stay clean.

Yeah. You have to do material that somehow is relatable to 18, 19-year-old kids. Oh, is that what you do? Well, when I went on stage, there was an opener for me, and she was about 60. Yeah. She was 60 years old. And I don't know how she did. I didn't watch her set.

But my mom went up after and performed. She did she did good no yeah my mom yeah she performs she opens for me and so I went up and I did it I did an hour but yeah I'm just roasting the whole time because they kept yelling at me because you know some someone met I don't know that you know some people just met right he messed it up for everyone bro, they keep yelling it's not Matt, but he's the biggest. No, there's a lot of comics that are loading up crowd work. Exactly, that's all I mean, I'm doing it, so I mean

but people see it and they're like, okay I'm just gonna yell out during the show, so people are just yelling out during comedy shows so they just yelled at me the whole time and I just roasted them Alright, final question and then we're gonna let you get to the tom papa interview awesome what is the hackiest bit you've ever done okay which one uh that i've ever done okay oh yeah Oh, yeah, I got one.

So this one's pretty, okay. So I said I came across a racist vending machine because I went up to the vending machine, I put a dollar in to get a soda, and it took my money. And I was like, oh, maybe this is messed up. I put another dollar in, and it took my money again. And I was like, oh, this machine's so stupid. And then I left, and as I'm walking away, some white dude goes up, a dollar in three soda come out

I'm like oh man so I was mad and I punched the machine and a drink came out but it wasn't a soda it was a cup of Kool-Aid I was like what man why does this taste like chicken it was so stupid.

Why is this Kool-Aid taste like chicken? You were just taking all the stereotypes and going, how do I jam them into one punchline? I feel refreshed like I have bad credit. Boy, I hope I don't fall in this cup. I can't swim. I can't swim. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah.

All right, that's good. That's good. Thanks for your honesty. I got a couple more on my new special. The new special is called My Name is Preacher. It's on YouTube. If you want to see the old special, what's the old one called? Get to Know Me. It's on Amazon Prime. you want to see the old special, what's the old one called? Get to Know Me.

It's on Amazon Prime. Okay. Check that out. And I can't say enough good stuff about it. If you have never heard of Preacher Lawson, you're going to become a lifetime fan. I think you're really great, and thank you for being here. My man. Thank you so much.

I appreciate it. Take care. All right. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Take care.