Fitzdog Radio - Ralph Barbosa - Episode 1108

Episode Date: August 21, 2025

Someone new and exciting on Fitzdog Radio. Ralph Barbosa is making a mark very fast in the comedy world. We have a great talk today. Follow Ralph Barbosa on Instagram @ralphbarbosa03 Watch my special "You Know Me" on YouTube! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/FitzYouKnowMe⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@GREGFITZSHOW⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@GREGFITZSIMMONS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FITZDOG.COM⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Fitzdog Radio. I'm sitting in the actual studio, the Green Lab Studios, where we shoot the interview. I'm about to sit down with Ralph Barbosa, who is a hot young comic, who is going to chat with us about his life growing up in Texas, a feud he had with George. I don't know. We'll see if I bring up the feud with George Lopez. It happened a couple years ago. He's probably tired of talking about it. Maybe he doesn't want it to be out there, but maybe I'll ask that first, get it out of the way. He's a great comic. He was in the, uh, he won the New York International Latino Comedy Festival. He won funniest comic in Texas a few years ago. I know a lot of funny comics in Texas. So that's, that's high, high honors. He hosted the HBO Max special, Entree, no. He was on The Tonight Show. He did a Don't Tell Comedy special that got like 5 million views. Jesus.

My special got 500,000. Is Ralph Barbosa 10 times funnier than me? Maybe. What else? Got a new special out. It's called Planet Bosa. It's on Hulu, and I think you'll enjoy it. I want to talk.

I want to talk about. I got some stuff I want to talk about here. We only have a minute. But let's see, Ralph Barbosa intro. I wanted to talk about, oh yeah, this is funny. My niece is staying with us for a few days. She lives in San Diego. It's my sister's daughter. And we fucking love Julia. I got her a job. She's a waitress at the comedy store down in La Jolla. And she's just cute as fun. I took her down and played paddle tennis on Saturday. So we find this phone. We come out of the paddle tennis courts and in the sand is a brand new shiny iPhone. And so there's that part of you that's young that goes, oh, I got a new iPhone. And then you go, oh, no, I'm 59. I have to give this back to somebody. So I go, how do you do that? You know, like I know that they can use the

find my iPhone app and then they can find it. But how do I help them? I'm trying to be a good role model for my niece. So we go home and I get on Instagram and his name is on the phone. Like if you hit the emergency button on the home screen of a phone, you can get the name. So I DMed him on his Instagram and then my niece starts looking at the Instagram profile. And he is gorgeous. He is ripped. He's six foot three ripped abs, tatted up.

He was clearly on the paddle tennis. courts and so she starts getting excited she's like 26 he's like 33 and she puts on a new top she brushes her hair and we're all like fantasizing for her we're like he's going to take you out tonight and blah blah blah so they give the address to the guy he rings the bell she goes outside i can see her from the other room and she goes outside and he's got his shirt off and tan and he pulls the shirt on as she's opening the door and she goes oh here's your phone and he takes it from her hand looks down goes thanks and walks away walks away are you kidding me what fucking barn did you grow up in his name is robert evan i'm not i'm not going to say his last thing evan field or something he's

dead to me if i see him at the paddle tennis courts he lost a good one julia is a great find Not just the date, but to marry. She would birth you beautiful children, you little paddle tennis, fucking inked-up loser, you zero. You broke her heart. Anyway, that happened. And then we went to see Tedeschi trucks. It's a great band, if you don't know them. Check them out.

We saw them at the Greek theater in L.A., which is probably the best theater to see live music in L.A. outside it's nestled in the bosom of griffith park mountains behind you and uh blown away blown away and then they ended with the beetles little help for my friends they're like a blues uh rock band they're like the almond brothers and the guy uh tedeschi you know she's tedeschi he's trucks derrick trucks and he played with the almond brothers before that was his gig before this band um anyway So we're driving there, and I'm with Mike Gibbons, it's Fitzsimmons, Gibbons, and Gubbins. It's my guys, the Irish Mafia. And we're driving out there from Venice, which is an hour and a half drive at rush hour.

And these guys are putting Tedeschi trucks on the radio. It's like, you don't fucking listen to the band of the band you're about to go watch. That's like eating a fucking, that's like eating French fries before going to a great restaurant. You don't spoil your appetite. You want it fresh. You don't want to be tired. You don't want to be tired of listening to them by the time you see them. And on the way there, there's a homeless guy in the street.

He had a T-shirt on that said, who ate all the pussy? And he wanted some change. I gave him $3. All right. Dates coming up. La Jolla Comedy Store, August 29 through the 31st. That's going to sell out. Get your tickets.

Denver Comedy Works, September 18 through 20. Comics in Connecticut, September 26, 27, Fairbanks, Alaska after that, Chicago, New Orleans, San Francisco, Hasbrook Heights just announced December 26th and 27th, Cleveland, Atlanta. Go to Fitzdog.com, get some tickets, come out, see some live comedy while it's still happening before this comedy boom goes bust. Okay, now let's sit down with my guest, Ralph Barbosa. Welcome to my guest, Ralph Barbosa. What's up, man? How are you? I'm good.

How are you doing? I feel like Barbosa must mean something in Spanish. Is it a word for something? Um, I don't know, maybe. I've never really cared about the name too much to do research on it Why would you care about your own name? Yeah, I think Barbosa, like Barba, like beard. Yeah, okay.

If you take away the R, it just means Babosa, which means like drooling idiot. I think I'm more on the drooling idiot side. That should be the name of your next tour. Barbosa Bobosa. The drooling idiot. Fitzsimmons means, I'm Irish, so whenever, you know how you hear Fitzger's in front of a lot of Irish names, Fitzgerald, Fitzgibbons. It means bastard son of, which means like Simmons was the family that came to Ireland,

overtook the land, and their name was Gibbons, where they were before. So they put a fits in front of it to make it Gaelic. Nice. So my people were taken over. You got a lot of nicknames growing up, like Fitsy or anything? Fitsy, Fitzdog. Fits dog. Yeah, the podcast is called Fitzdog Radio.

Fitzdog. Yeah. You should have just called the Fitsies. I like that better. Fitsies would have, that's like a cool name for a podcast. Would have been like a cool name for a bar. Yeah, yeah. Fitzdog just sounds like you got really into hip-hop in the 90s.

It's a really bad choice. Horrible choice. It's one of my biggest regrets in my career is the Fitzdog moniker. It just made me sound like a frat guy, kind of. That's a good name. If I'm being 100% honest with you, I hadn't listened to the podcast, but they said it's called Fitz-Dog. And I was like, that sounds like a cool name.

Yeah. All right, good. Yeah. Well, you're here. I'm here. Thank you. We got the same publicist. Yeah.

Michael O'Brien. Thank you, Michael. Thanks, Michael. Have you met him? Yeah. I don't know. He's in New York. Once or twice.

Yeah. You met him in New York? Yeah. Oh, okay. He's the best. He held my hand throughout my press tour. Oh, my God. He's the best guy to have around.

Best energy. He just, I just took him out to Keene's Chop House in New York, this big steakhouse with my son. I got to try that. My nephew. Keith's Chop House. How's your son? He's probably not that much younger than you. He's 24.

Okay, nice. What are you, 28? 28. Yeah. Yeah. You got a good eye. Yeah. Yeah.

I need to sleep more. Yeah, your eyes look a little bit tired. Yeah, I want you to be like, oh, I thought you were 21. No, 28's the perfect age. 21, you don't take somebody seriously. Yeah, that's true. You know? Yeah, even I don't.

I catch myself doing it now. When I meet 21-year-olds are like, even 19 year olds yeah i'm like look this i can cuss yeah yeah yeah i'm like this piece of shit yeah right like do something i'm becoming i'm becoming like grumpy fast anytime i see younger people i'm just like do something yeah yeah yeah something with your life yeah wake up i like young and grumpy that's good yeah yeah yeah i'm just tired man well i think grumpy is sort of a pretty good mindset for a comedian i think you you're you're just kind dissatisfied with life and you're talking about it a little bit yeah i've spent i've spent the last

27 years just really curious and confused about things and i spent the last year just really grumpy about things yeah i'm not liking it very much fitsy well look this is your year though man you've had an unbelievable year if this is the year you're grumpy i'm worried about your future no i'm having the greater everything's popping for you right i got a hulu special out please watch it It's on Hulu. It's called Planet Bosa. Planet Bosa, yeah. Everybody's wondering why I did Hulu.

I did my last special with Netflix, and everybody's like, why did you jump to Hulu? Because Hulu doubled the money that Netflix offered. So, yes. Thank you, Hulu. Oh, my God. Bird jump ship to Hulu. Gaffigan jump ship to Hulu.

I think Sebastian, maybe. I wouldn't doubt it. I mean, like the biggest specials Netflix are all on Hulu. Yeah. Yeah, Hulu's dope. Netflix was great to us. Don't get me wrong.

They made a good offer, but Hulu was really trying to come out strong this year with specials. Yeah. I think they did. They got some great. I think Burs, Bill Burs special got nominated for an Emmy. Oh, did it really? I think.

I'm not, I'm not, I'm, I don't know. Now that you're doubting, it makes me. Well, is mine eligible if it went out on YouTube, is my question. Probably not, right? Maybe not. But we should try. Have you seen it? No.

It's unbelievable. I bet. I mean, it's rock solid. I'll check it out and then I'll come back and then we'll talk about it. Yeah, yeah, let's have a part two where you talk about my special. Okay. It's this one, I feel like this one's all about yours. The mothership in Austin.

Oh, okay. I like the mothership. Yeah. In the big room? Yeah, the big room. What is it called? The fat man or something like that? Yeah, the fat man.

Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, it was a good, it was a good vibe. You know, I think Texas Crave. You're from Texas. I think Texas crowds are about as good as they get because they got like, like Texas has a big personality and they really think they're the best.

But they don't mind you coming in and shitting on them because to them it's just like... There's one big party. They're not affected by a New Yorker. Yeah, I mean, especially if... I feel like, yeah, I feel like it's always fun performing back home in Texas. But I think especially in a...

Austin. Yeah. I think now a lot of people from Texas have realized that Austin is like the comedy town. Yeah. There's a lot of comedy going on there. So they're even more buckled in. You know what I mean? Like they want to hear some shit.

Yeah, they do. They come to Austin like on a trip, like the destination to go to the mothership, to go to, I forget the other name. You know, those other spots. There's other spots. Well, there's one that's big that's where Kill Tony used to tape for you. The Vulcan. Yeah, the Vulcan has good shows. And then you got...

Preak in the Cave has good shows. Yep. You've got about a dozen places downtown where you can just pop in and see good comics. What's cool is that they're all walking distance from each other. They're all along 6th Street or just, you know, near 6th Street. Well, 6th Street, I wouldn't call walking. I would call running.

Running. With your head down. Yeah. It's like the apocalypse out there. Yeah. It's like a little skid row almost. It's funny because like all these guys like Joe left. LA because of all the crazy homeless and then it's like this is where you're setting up right

in the right where like all the homeless congregate yeah it's like right there right it's like the the craziest part of 6th Street is right there and uh I love it I love the people watching I walk outside after my show and they they have these Navy SEALs that do security at Joe's Club and uh that's this intense they're so nice they're so nice so nice the gentlest Navy SEALs you've ever met yeah but they're killers yeah and they always want to walk me back to my hotel you know but i don't want to be walked back to my hotel i want to like walk outside and kind of like just meander and stare and i want to get to your level because they've never once offered to walk me i've performed there multiple times did you headline for the whole weekend no i didn't know you got a headline for

the weekend then they'll walk you all right maybe next time well it seems like i don't want them to walk me I just wanted them to offer to walk in. You keep hanging around them, just kind of looking at them. Yeah, I just want the offer. Yeah. You know what I mean? That feels good. Right.

It's like going to fashion week. Yeah. You don't want to go to fashion week, but. Yeah. I've actually been in New York during fashion week only once that happened. And, God, it was a mess. Like, it was cool because there's, like, we're doing a show right next to, like, where they were having, like, art meetings.

meetups and stuff yeah so it's cool to like meet those people after and like but the traffic was whole yeah yeah and i never usually i never take ubers in new york we usually just take the subway yeah but even the subways were backed up yeah just like damn you got a woman on the subway with a swan dress on yeah it's all this stuff her husband's strapped in tin foil i'm like she put a t-shirt on let's go let's do it yeah it's too much i don't like do you even own a suit i do i like i like suits You do? Yeah, but I rarely have the need to wear one, so I own like two suits. Yeah.

I can mix and mash them, I can turn them into like five, six suits. Yeah. Depending on how, you know, the combinations. Right. But, yeah, how many suits you got? I used to wear shark skin suits on stage for like 10 years. That was like your thing. That was my thing.

I had like the thin lapel. Like, I looked like Don Draper and Mad Men, except bald and pale and short. But I had these, like, shiny suits. What's his name? Was it Peter? Yeah. You're like an old Peter. I was an old Peter and, you know, the tie clip and some shiny patent leather, you know.

Tie clip, like the little clip on the tie or like a clip on tie? No, no, no, the clip on the tie. That's good to know. I don't really respect those clip on ties. I don't like that. No. You need a tie you can hang yourself with at the end of a bad night. That's why you wear them for a really bad night.

Real men have the option to hang themselves. Yeah, right. The classy man does. Either that or you got the ring with the, you know, the cyanide in it, the cyanide. CIA style. You ever try to kill yourself or get close? Not on purpose. I think I've got to close on accident one time.

I mean, like, yeah, some people might say it was, what do they call it, like subconsciously on purpose? I got super, super, super drunk. And, yeah, I got left at a hotel by my house. myself and uh i don't remember i remember being at a party with a bunch of people and people handing me a lot of bottles and stuff and blacked out and i just woke up and there's this uh there's a i think it was a fireman that's a bad sign when they skip over the cops and go right to the fireman yeah cops showed up later it's like firemen and paramedics and uh yeah i was like I was in a bathtub and the water

because my throw-up like clogged it up. I don't think I was choking the I'm not, I don't remember. Oh shit. Was this your hotel room? Mm-hmm. The water like clogged it up

and like just was sleeping out or whatever. And I think it was the people in the hotel room next to mine that saw the water coming out. Yeah. I'm under the door. So they called 911 and they busted in the door and then because like paramedics, And, like, firemen were there first.

And then, like, the hotel staff came up there, like, what the fuck? And then they called the cops. And the paramedic lady, I remember she was really cool. Wait, so you got firemen, cops, and staff in the room, and you're butt naked at this point. Yeah, we're just missing the Coast Guard. Some SWAT. Some Boy Scouts. Yeah.

Yeah, I was trying to put on my boxers, but they were, like, they were wet because all the bath water, and throw up water and stuff. So I put the pillow over my junk And I was really confused Like I couldn't talk I was just confused Really drunk you know Yeah

And then they started asking me More and more questions And I kind of started like sobering up And realizing like if I don't answer these questions They're gonna put me on a stretch And take me out of here But now I answered the questions I just kind of like nodded yes

And I would say And I called my friends immediately And they were like wanting to take me To the hospital But I kept refusing Because I'm no bitch Yeah And uh

I was just like, no, I'm good. And then they're, they just like, are these people going to stay with you? Like, are these people? But then the cops showed up with the staff. And then, like, he has to go, like, and the cops were like, we could take him right now or whatever. And the paramedic lady, she was really cool. I should have got her name. She was just like, he hasn't done anything wrong.

Like, he's going to leave, like, but he's not in the condition for you to, like, just drag him out here. Like, he needs medical attention, whatever. So, like, she got the cops off my ass. But the hotel didn't want you dying in the room. The hotel was like, get the fuck out. You need to leave because you cause the disruption. Yes. It was like, my bad.

But they let you stay? Nope. Oh, you did get bounced? Yeah. But you didn't go to the hospital. I didn't go to the hospital, and the cops didn't touch me. So you packed your shit, drunk out of your mind, not even knowing where you are. Yeah, my friends packed it.

What city was this? This was Houston, Texas. Uh-huh. Yeah. That's pretty normal in Houston, Texas. That's a Saturday night. my uh yeah my buddy i told them i was like man i got kicked out of a of a hotel you know what mean like i need to chill out and he said what you said he's like man that's saturday night in

houston he's like calm down dude it's good for the story though what about you what's your suicidal story um we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to you know it's crazy looking your eye no i'm just thinking about i have depression so i've like fantasized about it low grade my whole life but they say you're only in danger when you actually make a plan when you actually start buying rope and shit like that

but I heard a rumor that Home Depot won't sell you rope if you're crying that should be their logo Home Depot we won't sell you rope if you're crying yeah I think it's okay to fantasize about it at a low level

I think it kind of helps balance out your feelings you know what I mean like how like who isn't just at maybe some people more often than others right but i feel like it's just so human to just be like i'll kill myself right now i don't want to deal with this like i'm just it's an option it's an option right so why not like it's an imaginary place just like we do comedy and you take sometimes your stand-up goes to imaginary places yeah you could talk about some wild shit on stage yeah that doesn't mean you're going to do it right you're not you're not in the

act of doing it i was at chapelle summer camp this week Donnell Rawlings was up. I'm a big fan of Donnell Rawlings. Oh, sure. He was doing the joke about how, like, he's playing out a scenario of having to, like, shoot a dog and put it down. And there's a lady in the front row who just wasn't liking it. Yeah, the dog lovers don't like that shit.

He got it in her face. He's like, lady, this is just a comedy show. Like, it's all fake. He's like, the dog's not real, lady. Like, this is not a real story. And he's like, watch. He's like, watch this. He's like, I'm going to kill this dog and fuck it at the same time.

and it's just like so like if we can take our mind there why can't we just take our mind to a suicide scenario every now and then just to kind of like I think it's like it's a stress reliever when you go like all right there is an emergency exit like you're like that

if I'm on you know like in a crowded nightclub and I get claustrophobic and I see the exit door I know Okay, I'm probably not going out that door, but it's there. There's a door, yeah. Yeah. Or even on an airplane, like, I like that there is same with the emergency exit doors right there.

It's like, I like to know I have that door. Yeah. If they told me that the plane was going down, I don't want to die next to the random dude they sat me next to. No. Hearing him crying, you know, I want to fly. I want to fly like a bird. What a great flight that would be. You know you're going to die.

So, like, people say, like, you know, live your life. it's the last you're living your life like it's the last three minutes yeah you're you probably jerk off and sing right in the sky yes i'm going there anyway or maybe not i don't know but what would you sing while you were jerking off i don't know though i guess the first one that came up to my mind was uh i believe i can fly i mean i'm already falling right or that one free fall yeah tom fatty yeah that's good fly like an eagle by steve miller band i might have to i might have to i might have to sing more like sexual type music because if I'm trying to keep an erection like if I'm jerking right some Lou Rawls or Barry White yeah yeah nice right this is a good yeah I like

that image I'm gonna think on that more I'll have better I have a better playlist for you yeah let's put together a suicide flying jerk off playlist I'm gonna have to like fly with that playlist just ready to go people like why are you staring out the window like that why do you an erection why's this guy playing Bootsie Collins full blast We got the funk

Yeah I think The closest I got to suicide Is I wrote a book And I had a deadline Because I had a deal With Simon Schuster And they were Busted my balls about

It had to be in By November 1st And I was like I had an office And I would go to the office And I would write until like 6, 6.30 in the morning all night. And then I had little kids, so I would drive home, feed my kids, see them off to school, sleep for five or six hours, then go back to the office again.

And I was under so much pressure that I used to sit. I had a lazy boy in the office, and I would sit on the lazy boy, and I would choke myself as hard as I could with my thumbs right on the jugular veins until I lost consciousness and I would only go out for like a little bit but I felt like it was just knocking

at the door and then I would come back and I would like my whole head would be clear and I would be present and I would be able to start writing again holy crap yeah I'm realizing a little bit about myself here

I didn't do that I didn't do that but I did this press tour makes me really nervous and then we're also pitching a lot of shows this week we're not we're pitching one show we're just doing a lot of pitches this week

I've never done a TV show pitch before just felt really uncomfortable and knowing that I'm going to be away from my kid was also giving me a lot of pressure and more family stuff that I'd rather not mention but the day before leaving me and my buddy took my car out and I was just like

yo I'm gonna hit 190 but do you got a Ford I got a 2024 Nissan GTR 935 I was like I'm gonna hit 190 on the highway yeah like I'm not I'm not parking this car until I hit 190 no shit and uh man we did it it was really fun what time late at night yeah it was like 3 30 4 a.m something like that out in the middle of nowhere was it on the highway yeah still dangerous

I would never do it again that next time I do that I'll go to like a track so wow but there was something in my mind how did it feel at 190

it felt like all the cars on the highway were standing still yeah and very sensitive the wheel felt very sensitive it felt nice but I knew

I knew that once we came back and we're just driving regular speed limit yeah I knew like food would taste better yeah and the air would taste sweeter and I knew that I'd be able to focus and appreciate all the opportunities that I have because like I'm not dead yeah I was like bro like I'm gonna go kill these pitch meetings I'm gonna go do this press tour I'm gonna like work out new stand-up like yeah like that yeah I mean I can see like why people that

do these, you know, rock climbers that go to the top of big, like these thrill seekers, you know, extreme mountain bikers. Yeah, because it puts you so in the moment. You can't be anywhere except the exact, are you going to do the Adam Carolla show? I don't know if you'll have me. He would have, I'll call him. Okay. He's great. I appreciate it. But he's a race car driver. That's his hobby. And he was telling me yesterday about how he was racing and I go. And this is exactly what he was talking about. He was talking about flow state, you know, where you're only in the moment where you're not thinking about, because you can't, you don't have the luxury of thinking one other thought for one second. I love race cars. I went to that thing in Vegas, Speed Vegas.

Oh, did you? Yeah, and the instructor just tells you how to drive. Yeah. So like the first couple laps, it just really listened to what the instructor was saying. By the third lap, I kind of pushed it a little further. I almost lost control of the car. I drove a Porsche GT3 R.S. But I needed to like almost lose control to really know the limit of the car. Yeah. Then the fourth and fifth lap, I think were my best laps. And I wasn't afraid to like, I still listened to the instructor, but I like delayed. Like I'd break later. Yeah. Yeah. Gave it a little more gas in. Right. All right. That's cool. Did you, um, did you have a line? Did you like follow a line? You just felt it. Yeah. Well, I mean, he would tell me like i you know what i mean you want to go more towards the left and like come in from

this angle that way oh so he was in the car yeah he's in the car oh i thought he was in a headset no no no he's in the car damn it's really easy it's really easy yeah how much does that cost well we got to do it for free we me and my buddy have an automotive channel oh yeah right call it formula bean yeah it's just stupid we just uh do stupid stuff buy some cars on marketplace put some nitrous in and blow it up nice i saw a dots and 260 Z that you guys bought yeah that's a nice car wait my buddy has a few Dotsons he built one from the ground-ups that's what Adam was racing yesterday a Dotson yeah it's an old Dotson that's sick yeah but yeah we we got to go for free I mean we got to go shoot content there like it was cool we

spent unreal we spent like almost almost the entire day there no shit yeah we did that and then we did the go cars the only the only thing we didn't do was they have those off-road trucks like the Baja series type. Yeah, yeah. But we didn't have enough time. Yeah, you have to go back. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm going to be in Vegas next month.

Maybe I'll go check it out. At least do some go-karts. That'd be fun. Yeah, speed Vegas. Y'all check them out. But let's talk about the 260 ZX because my friend had a 280 ZX, and I had a 200, I had when it became Nissan, there was a 200 SX that I had.

That was a 5-speed. But is the 240 faster than the 200? 260 ZX? I don't know. I'm a little out of my death. I know the 260 is like the first one, right? Yeah, right, right. 60s one.

Yeah. And I think those are the lighter ones. Because I was a parking attendant at a country club in New York. And guys would come in with Porsches and Ferraris. And I swear to God, that fucking Dotson was like... Dotson's the poor man's Porsche. It just was. It just shifted so nice.

It's a hard ride. It's there's not a lot of cushions. going on but but it's a beautiful car so the 260 that i now own that i got from my buddy uh doesn't run it's just rust bucket yeah but we'll fix it up i'm i got a i got a zero miles brand new hellcat motor oh really i want to throw that in there damn so that yeah but i was learning a little bit about that one i think that's i think that's the lightest option is that a dodge the hellcat motor yeah it's from the it's from like a brand new hell cat yeah But my buddy also has a 280, which I'm probably getting this wrong.

But I think I like those better. I think the windows on those, they have like the more of the square look. Yeah. Or I think the 260 has kind of like a rounded look. Yeah, yeah, right. But I like them both. And I'm hoping that people aren't going to be able to see too many details on it anyway. It'll be moving too fast.

That's right. Yeah, that's why you've got to be careful what color you're driving. I mean, if you're going to go 190 miles hour on the highway, you probably want a black car that the cops aren't going to sit. Yeah. What color is yours? Black. Yeah.

Right. And the Dodson's black. You know, my buddy, you brought up the 240. My buddy actually bought a Nissan 240 for about 600 bucks. Uh-huh. It's an automatic. And we put a turbo and nitrous on that one, but we didn't tune it at all. Nice.

It has a, the motor makes like a 100 horsepower tops. So we wanted to just blow it up. It's a little K-A motor. So our plan was like race it, blow it up for content, and then put it in an L.S. but the motor didn't blow up it's definitely messed up it doesn't want to start anymore but we blew up the

the coupler tube for the turbo and so this would be blowing up in your face as you're driving it in front of you. It's like not in my face but definitely in front of me you know well no you got that sheet of glass between you and the exploding engine yeah yeah so that's fine and the hood

sure that'll help you the hood ended up all bent because it did like pop because the hood could then fold back across the windshield As a big shield. Yeah. What's the worst car accident you ever had?

I've actually only been, with me driving, I've been in really just two fender benders. Yeah. I was 13 and 14. Really? Yeah. At 13, I took my grandma's Jeep to GameStop to try to buy, I think, one of the Grand The Fado games. Of course. And they didn't want to sell it.

Yeah, they didn't want to sell it to me, though. I was too young. So I had like 90-something bucks to my name. I had brought all the money with me, and I was going to leave. I was leaving the shopping center. And the busy street kind of scared me. Yeah. And the front of the car was sticking out too much. So without even looking behind me, I just put it in reverse and gave a gas. And I hit somebody's truck. It was this big white dude. It was a Dodge Ram. And I dented his bumper. And my, you know, my grandma's Jeep was fine. And he was just looking at me like, what the hell? And he was like, do you have insurance? Like, what's your name? What's going? Like, do you have any type of, do you have your parents?

Like, what are you doing? I said, man, sir, I'm going to be honest with you. I don't have insurance. I don't know how insurance works. I said, I don't know if my grandma has insurance. I said, she's asleep at home and I took her car. I said, I know that, you know, body work must be expensive. I said, this is all my money, like, ever, like, that I own in the world.

Like, you can have. 90 bucks. Yeah. It's like 92. Yeah. And he just looked at it. He grabbed the money. He was like, man, just get out of here.

And I drove off. But I think it's crazy because I was like 12 or 13. Damn. I think it's crazy that the guy was like, all right, go home. Well, like, well, that's especially funny because, like, you probably looked even younger at that age. Because you look young for your age now, even though I called you 28 before. I knew it because I read it on the Internet. So I knew your age.

But I would have guessed. I bet you get carded. So when you were 13. you probably looked 10. You were only 5 foot 7. At that time, I was like 4 foot 6 and still. Yeah, I was a small kid. So you were sitting on the front of the seat.

I actually brought my buddy with me so that he could be my second pair of eyes because I couldn't see like everything. He was my navigator. We were like rally car drivers. Oh my God, that's hilarious. So she never found out? I made it home before she even woke up.

Yeah. Oh, that's good. I basically just went on a $92 joy ride. Right. Oh, my God. Just the irony that they wouldn't sell you the Grand Theft Auto when you're living Grand Theft Auto at that moment. I'm like, bro, like, I wanted to tell them, like, I drove myself here.

I think I'm old enough to play Grand Theft Auto. Yeah, right, yeah. Are you, did you rent a car for L.A.? No. Hulu, you know, because they want me to impress. They hired a driver. Yeah. It was cool.

He's a nice dude. He's, uh, I think he's, I think he's Armenian. He's telling me his ex-wife comes from, like, Russian politicians, like some aligarchy stuff or something. And he broke up with her? Yeah. That's a dangerous move. He said they gave him hell. Oh, shit.

Yeah. But now he's doing good, you know? I hope they don't find him now. I just stitched him out. Right. So you got the same driver the whole time, staying with you? Yeah. Our first driver, I don't know what happened in him.

For some reason, they changed them. You think it was you? Nah, he was cool. The first driver we had, he was like, do you want to listen to anything in particular music-wise? And I was like, can you put a radio head? And he was like, yeah. And then he dropped us off at our first location.

And apparently while he was waiting for us, he made like a radiohead playlist for the other drives. But for some reason, they switched them off. I think it was like maybe the car was too small. I got like this whole crew with me right now. Yeah, sorry we didn't let your publicist in. I don't, I don't care. Just makes me uncomfortable. Yeah, I'm a little, I'm a little suffocated with all the, uh...

Yeah, I mean, they're nice people, and they're helping you. They're your champion, but at the same time, like, in the back of your head, you're, every time you say something, you're wondering if they're, like, upset about what you're saying, you know? Yeah. Shout out to Hulu, but they were just like, you got to mention the name of the special and that it's on Hulu. Yeah.

I'm like, I'm pretty sure I did. They're like, you didn't. And I'm like, how close are you watching me? Yeah. Planet Bosa on Hulu. On Hulu. It's, uh, I like how it starts. You don't fuck around.

You just, it just starts. And you're on stage, like, at the beginning of a joke. There's no, like, you, unless I tuned in at the wrong time. Maybe. I don't know. I just walk on the stage. I just walk out. I'm like, hey.

And then I'm like, you know, thanks for coming. And then I just get into it. It's a fucking hard walking to the mic. a special. Yeah. You know, you're walking out and you're not saying

anything and they're looking at you and you haven't started what you do yet and you feel kind of self-conscious a little bit so then you overcompensate by like acting fucking psyched up

when maybe you're not even really feeling that so that's a false beat. Yeah, I think the next special I just want to do a toaster thing let's just hop up and I'm just like, oh that's good

and then I just start the jokes. All right. Like Beyonce. I think it'd be funny to do a special where I'm in the audience and then they're like there's those lights that like searching. Yeah. Yeah. It's like drums. It's like, all right. Like the moment you guys have been waiting for, I want you to give it up for a Ralph Barbosa. And then I'm there. I'm just like, whoa, what? Already? And then I just like run to the stage. Yeah. And then get into it. That's good.

You know, being funnier is if your opener is up there and you're heckling him and then he finishes and walks off and then you get introduced I think that would be cool I also think it'd be cool to do it in like a whole other country where they don't even understand me yeah but they just laugh when we tell them to laugh yeah that's good and then people wonder like wait do they understand them like I just do it in Japan in front of all Japanese crowd I think China would be more apt to do exactly what they're told to do you need a communist country do is there a way to get into North Korea I heard like if you're like the first people in line like at certain time of look it's not Disneyland it could be I think there's a way to get into North Korea man I think

there's like a certain amount of people like press or something that can go oh yeah if you're press but they escort you they have like a T it's like it's like having a Hulu special there's people with you every step of the way I was telling this dude from Hulu like why didn't they just send me in North Korea yeah that would have been that would have been way better than doing like 80 podcasts this is one stunt yeah and I guarantee you everybody would hear about it yes Planet Bosa the most viewed comedy special look what it did for Dennis Rodman he went to North Korea yeah I thought he just like met the guy no Jim John yeah he went over there yeah he took him over and I think he

was talking about setting up a basketball league there something he was like an ambassador for the US I think it was during Trump's first run in office I think he sent Rodman over there how many podcasts have you done today You know what? Not many. Okay. Just a lot of radio. Yeah. Who'd you do?

They're like a Mexican radio station. It's called like Mega something. In Spanish? It's like Spanglish. Yeah. If I don't go somewhat Spanish, Mexicans get mad. Right, right. Hey, these guys don't know Spanish.

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what's the deal. I did one with the L.A. Times. I read that. Yeah, no, I just did it today. Oh, you did with the L.A. Times a couple of years ago. Yeah.

but the one today they made me do a photo shoot and the photographer wanted me to like sit on the ground and lean my head against the wall and i was just like i was like sure no offense i'm not gonna do that can you put your thumb in your mouth yeah i'm like i'm not a i'm not deep man right right this there's no pain here yeah pain in my comedy yeah there's no message uh-huh i was like let's just take the i'm a smile right you know i'm probably throw up a piece sign let's get the fuck out of here man yeah yeah yeah And then sometimes they get mad because you don't want to do the poses they do. But it's like, bro, like, I'm not writing music.

Right. It's too deep. Yeah. I mean, walking to the microphone is difficult. Coming up with the artwork is difficult because it's all stuff that we don't do. Like, we just want to tell jokes. We just want that to be everything. So at least with podcasts, it's loose and you're not.

Like, even radio, it's more like set up, do material. They're kind of on. It's not that chill. Nah, the podcasts are easy going. Yeah. As long as you know, I mentioned the special. Yeah. Everything else is just hang out.

But the photo shoot thing, that was weird. Yeah. And then I don't know. Like, I don't know if that, what's his name, Philip? Like, I don't know if he'd like the way this is going. Probably would. I don't think you'd have an issue with it. Yeah.

But yeah, you're right. Sometimes when the publicist sit there and they're just watching you, it's just like, come on, say it. Yeah, yeah. They're like, say the special. And I'll say Hulu. Put the t-shirt on. Yeah.

Put on your Hulu hat. Last time. Meanwhile, the headline's going to be Barbosa suicidal. That's going to be the takeaway from this one. Sorry, girl. I think driving 190 on the highway is, I think that's suicidal. I think 150 is insane. I think 190 is suicidal.

200, now that's suicide. You need a car than go 200. 190. You think you had more left? No, I don't think so. I also read this thing, you know, I wasn't just doing it out of suicidleness, the 50. I was doing this out of educational purposes, doing research. That's right.

I was reading this thing that said, well, my buddy was reading it, but he told me about it. Pretty much like the faster you go, the harder it is to get faster than that. So like once you reach 170, it becomes just that much harder to reach 171. and then harder to be 172. So, one, it was kind of, it was tough to get it to 190. We kept running out of space. Like, we needed straightaways because curves were coming. Two, I was like watching the road.

Like, I would check the dash, like, I got to glance at it, and then I'll just keep my eyes on the road to focus. But when it hit 190, a red light came on that I'd never seen before. So I think maybe like the computer. which kind of doesn't let you do past 190 maybe or maybe the oh is that with the car company picks as the number you can go over 190 maybe the people at nissan are like you know 185 seems reasonable but 190 is excessive my car does that i have a mustang and whenever i go when i try to weave if i get too close to a car in front of me it's it puts out this red this red thing comes up

like accident is about to happen or something, which just fucks me up. It throws off my concentration. Yeah, it fucks me up. It's more dangerous than if they just let you do it. Right. I don't like when they like, what do you call it, stop you, like when the car stops.

Yeah. On its own without you pressing stuff. Yeah. Like even, even, I'm not talking about like speeding. I mean like when you're just reversing. When you're reversing. And it thinks something there. So it like, jams.

It just jam. I know what I'm doing. Yeah. the fuck out of you that's because your um your camera on the back by your license plate is is based wrong i had to fix mine oh i um i mean it was in it ended up being counterproductive but i i took one out of the car oh you did yeah of one of the cars yeah but now i can't get it because it's like in like it's like stuck inward up i was trying to poke it out and i poked it in and so now whenever i put in reverse my camera just thinks that like

something's always in the way because it's facing it's facing inside the car yeah so you have like an only fans in your back seat it's just sees nothing though it's like stuck in the slot yeah it's annoying you want to hear my craziest car story yeah sex in the car uh i did have sex in the car many times nice but one time uh i grew up in new york and uh we were about 15 minutes the craziest part about this story already is that you have a car in new york well we grew up outside the city. Oh, okay. We were about 15 minutes outside the Bronx, and so we used to go to the Bronx to get drugs.

And so my friend Dave Vada. Yeah, it's not, it's the worst drugs, but it's the closest drugs. And so we went down to my friend DeVada. A lot of them smoked angel dust, which you probably never even heard of, but that was a big drug. I've heard of it, but never. Yeah, people don't smoke it anymore. That wasn't really, yeah, that wasn't really a problem for my generation. No, it was kind of a, it was kind of a 70s and 80s thing.

And so Dave Vada went down and he got some angel dust. and we're driving back and he had this Volkswagen, you know this Carmen Gia's? It's like a, it's almost like a hatchback looking old Volkswagen

and the engines were actually okay and it went fast just because it was so light and so we're driving back and he's on Angel Dust and he goes, I can get this car

up to 100 miles an hour and I was like Dave you can't get this car up to 100 miles an hour you're on fucking Angel Dust right now and we're on this road that's pretty bendy

at the Salmell River Parkway and so he just floors it and his red eyes are like this and we're going like 85 we're going 90 there's a girl in the car she's crying people are screaming at him the car is like shaking like this and then all of a sudden it hit 100 miles an hour and he took his hands off the steering wheel

and I'm grabbing the wheel and I was I just remember my hands were shaking for like a half an hour after that and I was only 100 but that's a different car How'd you feel afterwards? Exilarated, alive. Live, right?

Yeah, I felt good. I did. Yeah, see, I don't think I'm suicidal. I think I just like the feeling of surviving something kind of crazy. Well, that's why you do stand-up every night. You think so? That's why I do it. I need that charge.

I need that rush. I like stand-up. Stand-up's fun. I just like, I don't know. I think I do it for a little bit of a different reason. I think stand-up is more like, makes me feel like like I'm earning my spot

on the planet like when people laugh is like validation right so like I've never felt like I've done good jobs at jobs right so I've never I've never felt like yo I'm doing my part for society going like I make everybody laugh and they give me money I'm like yeah yeah yeah yeah I like that

yeah that's good yeah it's kind of like Some people look back a lot and they go, you know, I do this because I like to bring joy to people. And, you know, that's nice. But I don't know that that's not everybody's motivation. So I think it's good that that's part of your motivation because I think maybe you can aspire to things in comedy instead of fear. I think a lot of stand-up comics are driven by the fear of failure on stage. And so they're a little bit too, they're in attack mode a little bit. And you don't always see who they are underneath that.

You know? Yeah, I think a lot of comics are good at, like, hiding real motives. Because there's too many comics that I've met that can't all be alike. You know what I mean? Like, there's so many comics that are like, oh, they're so supportive of everybody. Yeah. And it's like, or maybe I'm just the, maybe I'm just one of the few evil ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But even my, I mean, I try to be honest, though. Like, I don't like to hide feelings. yeah so like I like to talk shit to my friends but I also like to congratulate them yeah but I mostly like to talk shit when they're like slacking I like to remind people that if they don't you know take advantage of opportunities or like work hard they're gonna be pieces of shits right right hey wait you have a kid wait till your kid gets older that's everything my kid's 24 and I'm still like fucking I try not to distance him for me by busting his balls but I try to inspire

I try to hold them accountable it's fucking tough it's the hardest thing about you think all the early years are hard and they are but in a very different way when they get older it's much more about that how do you give them that character and no I bet that's really scary I'm not looking forward to that part of fatherhood I mean I am I want to see my kid grow up and you know get older but man every day like today I was on face time with him yeah and was getting after him for trying so he got his first homework assignment he's in first grade and he lied about it he hit it because he didn't want to do it and not that it's going to be the same you know and i love my older cousin but my older cousin used to do that when we're kids and he ended up in and out of jail

so i'm like i'm like just thinking way ahead you're already thinking about jail i'm like i'm like i fucked up my kid i'm out of town too much and now he's you know he's lying to his mom and he's gonna go to jail soon as he's old enough to go to jail because i'm out here hanging out with fitzy let me tell you something don't you got to free yourself from that thought because i had that thought a lot of my career because i've been on the road you know a lot i write i write for tv shows as well so i'm not always on the road but like half the time i'm doing that instead of writing and uh my kids turned out great i know a lot of comics that raise really good kids while they're on the road as long as you know they got a support system while they're home and you're checking in

with them and the quality time you give them when you're there, it's what they're used to. Like if you were a stay-at-home dad and you saw them every night and tucked them in, it would fuck them up if you suddenly weren't. But if you're consistently being the guy that you are, your kids are gonna be fine. Yeah, I hope so.

I appreciate you saying that. Yeah, when I'm home, I try to spend a lot of time with him. Try to do things that are just about him. Or try to bring him with like errands that I gotta run. Right. You know what I mean? I can't let them get too, uh,

too spoiled now no it's good you know you can't I think sometimes parents cater too much to their kids they make the kid the center of the world and when they should be part of the world yeah 100% agree so does you like to read you read books to him he hates reading but I'll make him do it no shit that's part of his homework is he has to read a book every day after school but I make him read like the menu items at a restaurant or like I make him read like we'll go do fun stuff we'll go to the movies or arcades and stuff yeah but like we can't keep going like in the day unless he reads like i won't order food until he reads me the entire menu uh-huh he's pissed and tells me i'm not funny you've already found out your spot your tender spot yeah yeah

he's a little asshole sometimes that's hilarious how old were you when you became a dad i was 33 okay that's good I messed up, man. I was 21, 22. Do you feel like you were established? Were you planning on having kids? Were you like, all right, I'm married. Let's have some kids.

I never aborted one. You know? I got lucky. I don't know why. I'm glad you never had to pay for the abortion. I know. I wouldn't have my pain for it, but living with it would have been weird, you know. Not to judge people who do.

I'm just glad I didn't. But, no, we planned it. I met my wife. wife at 30 found in love with her and Paul knows her she's pretty she's pretty magic wouldn't you say

yeah absolutely she's a business owner no she's a stay-at-home mom your wife's a business owner yeah sorry yeah yeah yeah no she was a stay-at-home mom for she was Julia Roberts's assistant and then when we had kids she left that

did nothing to raise our kids for 18 years was she like what I'm Julia Roberts No, because she had a kid around the same time. Oh, yeah? Yeah. She lived right in our neighborhood. I were really been mad.

I'm like, I just had a kid. Yeah, right. I don't eat this right now. Julia Roberts and I'm a mom now. Raise both our kids. I'm going to go do a movie. And then she started working. Now she's a doula.

Once my kids got older. She's a dula? A dula, like working with mothers right after they have their babies, teaching them how to breastfeed and sleep coach and nutrition and stays with them for like four or six weeks. and gets them going. Do we have that for men? That's a great idea.

Male doolus. A doulo? Yeah. Yeah, a doulo. He teaches you how to like... A dildo? Smoke a cigar. He teaches you how to like yell at the kid and give up and get frustrated and give up.

Yeah, yeah. He coaches you on, you know, not being your worst self in front of your kid. He's teaching you to count to three before you say something sometimes. you had to give him a little smack on the back of the head. No, no smacking. Just a tiny one just to little know, like, hey. Yeah? You don't do that?

No. I'll do a little one on my son's head. Really? I'm going to show you how hard? Yeah. What if I was just like... Like, do it on my hand? No, I'll be like, hey.

Oh, that's all right. That's all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be like eight. But I, and maybe this is bad, too, because it's like a, like a, my dad's just like a respecting order. But I let my son do it to me. Oh, that's fair. Yeah, right?

Yeah. Yeah. No, that's what I used to, because my father used to beat the shit out of me. He was six foot two from the Bronx, tough guy. And I used to look at him when I was like, you know, eight years old, I look at him like, dude, this is so unfair. You're so much bigger than me. And I used to think when I got older, I can't wait until he gets weak and old.

And I'm at my height. I'm at my peak. And I'm going to beat the shit out of that guy, you know? What happened? He was a passel? He died. He fucking died before I had the chance. He died when he was young.

Sorry about your dad dying when you were young. Yeah, thank you. He was a great guy. I really loved him. He was amazing. But I never got to beat him up. That's probably for the best, you know. Show him mercy.

Yeah. You got to be better than the last one. Well, my son and I have always wrestled a lot, like hardcore wrestling and throwing him around. And then as he got older when he was like in high school, we would wrestle. But it started to get like intense. And then one day he got me at a fucking choke hole and I couldn't get out. Oh, you're about to get by your, bro, how are you going to get wooed by your dad and your son? I know.

Right. I'm getting it from both sides. Yeah, right, right. Now, me and my son, we do that, but it's kind of just to get, like, each other's attention when we're, like, really locked in on something. So, like, if my son's on, I let him play on the tablet for a while. Yeah. But if I'm like, hey, go brush your tea, go do this. And he's not doing it, then I'll give him a little like, hey, like, I might be serious.

Right. But then he'll do it to me, too, if he feels like I'm ignoring. motor it'll give me like a little he'll be like pa yeah i'm like all right all right what's going on right right but that's it we'll play fight like i'll flip him on the bed and stuff but no wrestling i don't think i want to go that route if my son kicks my ass it was the worst moment of my life i swear to god i was in that choke call and i'm looking at my wife and i'm just like i got a i got to kick him out of the house now i can't have his kid in my house he signed his own fate with that movie and uh all right so a couple things I want to ask you about. Okay. I'm not going to ask you about that fucking

George Lopez thing. It's all right. Whatever you want to do, man. I don't mind. All right. So the George Lopez thing. You got into it. He was on a podcast with, who was he on with? What's the dude's name? Trevino. Yeah, Steve Trevino. Steve Trevino. So Steve was like shouting you out. And then George said, nobody knows that fucking guy. And then I guess he got a lot of blowback about it And then George called you and apologized Yeah Yeah, George got a lot of blowback from it

I didn't even like mind it It was like let him You can say what he wants man He's a grown man Right It's a podcast people talk shit on podcasts all the time Yeah we've shit on a couple people on this podcast right Yeah it's like so what

Also like And I like I don't know George Lopez I don't know I've heard of him helping out couple of my buddies, but like I've also heard that he's big, like, against helping out people, like, like he was saying on that podcast, you know. He strikes me as the type of person that even when he does help people, he probably doesn't want, like, recognition for it. Uh-huh.

But I don't know. It's like, why, like, to that dude Trevino is like, why even bring it up if you know what he's going to say? Like, you know, I say. You know he's anti-helping people. Uh-huh. So, like, why even bring me up? Like, it almost felt like he said enough George to be like, well, I'm, I have.

help people. Right. You know what I mean? So like that that kind of bugged me because I don't have anything against George Lopez. But when I started now, everybody that I would meet at open mics would be like, are you going to be the next George Lopez? And I was like, no, I don't, I was like, did you not watch my set? I don't think it was anything like that. No. So it felt like races, you know? Yeah. So I feel like I'm working hard to be creative and find my own style in comedy so that I'm not compared to George Lopez. Yeah. Because he's. his own comedian, I'm my own comedian, you know what I mean? Like, just because we're both Latino, doesn't mean we're similar.

And then Steve Trevino doesn't stop bringing me up on his podcast, and the next thing you know, I'm attached to Lopez forever, you know what I mean? Yeah. Which is like, fine, it's whatever. I don't know whose intentions were what, or Lopez actually knew who I was or not, but I got nothing against George Lopez, man. I'm always, I respect the veteran comics. I think he's a great comedian.

Yeah. Yeah, he's a great comedian. But, yeah, I've heard that. I've heard that he's not always that supportive. He was very nice. I did his, he had a talk show that I did stand up on one time. And I was really close to my son's soccer coach was this guy who, his mom was dying of cancer, and they're a Latino family, and she watched him every night.

And so I brought her to the show, and I brought her backstage. I already knew George, because we had developed a show together one time. And so I'm backstage, and I introduced her to George. didn't even tell her that she was dying of cancer he spent 45 minutes hanging out with her talking to her taking pictures and she died like uh on the way home oh my no no but she died soon after well she was just crying from seeing him and she crashed the car died it wasn't even the cancer that got her she went 190 miles an hour on the 405 she was driving to gtr Oh, my.

But let me ask you about saying Bean, because, like, I know Carlos Monsia got a lot of trouble. He got almost canceled over saying Beaner. For real? Yeah, like, I mean, people don't know how big Carlos Monsia was. This is before your time. No, I remember he was huge. He was huge. I was in, I was in, like, the fourth, fifth grade.

He was huge. Playing arenas and a TV show. Yeah. It's like the number one show on Comedy Central at one point. Yeah. and then he'll go teet-tri i i don't understand how that didn't get him canceled he could say beaner but he can't go i mean he can't say beaner but he could he could make his titi his catchphrase oh the the uh the mentally challenged person yeah yeah yeah he would do that way more than he would say

beaner well i think there was a Latino group that was after him they had him in the crosshairs and they really made it their business to bring him down and then it was it's always the fucking Chicano's man Chicano's coming after the Latinos and so he also got accused of stealing not accused he did I mean obviously you saw the tape

but the Bill caused me a bit so like between those two things he all of a sudden like dude I'll be playing at the Atlanta punchline I see his headshot right next to mine coming next week I'm like damn I used to open for no I opened from one weekend

how you did yeah opens from the Addison Improv that's a fun club Yeah, I love that club. Love that club. I was just doing a guest spot, and he liked the set. He was like, he could do the whole weekend. Oh, nice.

That's cool. Yeah. Great guy. Yeah, he was cool. I didn't ask him about joke stealing or nothing. Yeah. I just wanted some stage time. Yeah.

I asked him to do this benefit because my kids went to Spanish immersion school from kindergarten through high school. So their school was half, half the kids were from Spanish-speaking homes, and half were from English-speaking homes. And then they taught them only in Spanish for the first. first three years. So like my kids first three years of school, every subject was taught in Spanish. Oh shit. So they're fucking fluent right now. They know more than I do probably. Yeah. So anyway, we want to do a benefit for the school because like a lot of the kids were on food stamps.

And so we, uh, I asked Carlos if he would headline a comedy show. He said, great, I'll do it. He was in like Iowa the night before. The show was on a Sunday night. He was there on Saturday night. so he got a private plane to fly in do the show the week before the show that group started making noise about that he's a racist and that he doesn't represent the Latino values of this school and that they were going to protest and they said that they were going to sit in the audience and heckle him throughout the show oh my they were going to pick at the show meanwhile we'd sold the tickets out you know we had $40,000 in ticket sales it was sold out and then the school board canceled at the night before because they didn't want a big scene and I had to call Carlos and say hey man thanks for renting a private jet but they don't want you on the show oh I would have been so man I would be like can somebody reimburse my jet right reimburse the jet god damn yeah I don't I never thought that was like even a crazy word being like beans like beans are good give you ted beans I love beans yeah so like I like I get it like if I trust me I

get so pissed if somebody's using it what do they call it in a derogatory way like if they're trying to insult me yeah it's going to piss me off but it's not going to hurt that bad either no whatever i don't think and then for uh the dude is the dude's a bean himself he can't say it well that's what people say is that he's had he's only half he's half hondoran and half like german so that didn't qualify him to say the word oh my even though he grew up grew up in East L.A. in a Latino neighborhood. And I think also some of his views were very anti-immigrant, anti- undocumented, which obviously there's a lot of in this country. I don't know where you fall with that, but you don't talk about your views. So I'm not going to ask you how

you feel about undocumented Latinos who are part of your heritage. I think that if you look Latino as hell, you should just say it. Nobody's ever looked at Carlos Mincea and thought, look at this German right it's like I don't know I don't think people should be canceled for stuff like that especially not comedians I think comedians should always be allowed to at least try it out you know what is it uh patrice O'Neill said like the attempt yeah I'm not saying go out there and say the most offensive shit ever but I mean he the guy got laughs say it if you can get laughs yeah But that's the fucking test. Like people are like, well, Sarah Silverman, she does, you know,

she went in blackface on her TV show and she said, can you say chink? Yeah, she said chink on the Conan O'Brien show. And she got canceled, but then it didn't stick because, you know why? It got a laugh. The jokes all got laughs. I think that you got to break it down to like, can you guys laugh after I say chink so I don't get canceled for that?

If at least 50% of the room laughed, Yeah. You're good to go. You're good. Especially if there's some Asian people in that half of the room, which usually there are. Usually the race that you're making fun of. Like, I do jokes about black people.

They're the first ones laughing. If it's funny, it's fun, man. Right. I'm not saying go out there and offend the shit at everybody. Because I feel like a lot of comedians do that too nowadays. Well, Austin's a lot like that. Austin, yeah. I feel like in Austin, a lot of comics want to be offensive first and then funny.

Like, that's their top priority. where I feel like your top priority should be funny. And if it happens to offend, so what? Yeah. You know what I mean? And if it happens to make a point, that's secondary to get in the laugh. Yeah, the laugh should be number one priority, in my mind. But what do I know?

I'm just a kid. You are a kid, but you got a big future. I have a Hulu special called Planet Bosa. Planet Barbosa. He's also got some tour dates coming up. He is going to be at the Beacon Theater. Dude, Beacon Theater. You know what we're kicking off?

That's insane. You know what we're kicking off at the B-Yorky Comedy Festival? No, we're kicking off the Bean Without a Cause tour. That's the name of my tour. Really? No joke. Dude, it's not going to go. Nobody's buying tickets to that shit. A bunch of racists are buying tickets to that shit.

And then I don't see a lot of dates, though. And then you're not working until October 24th at the Yamava Theater in Highland, California. And then the next night, you're at the muckle chute. Do you're agent mad at you? No. The muckle chute casino in Auburn, Washington? He's probably mad that I dropped so many days. Well, we're leaving a lot of space open to pop into cities, do club shows, workout material, and whatnot.

November 7th at the Chicago Theater. That's beautiful. December 19th of the Majestic and San Antonio. You don't even get on the plane for that one, right? Nope. Just drive right now. December 20th at the Choktow Casino in Durant, Oklahoma. I mean, did you, are you not taking his calls or what are you doing?

By agent? Yeah. Nah, so he started off with like this whole route, this whole grid. Yeah. And then I was like, can you knock off a few cities? I'm a little tired. Oh, okay. And then he did.

And then I was like, knock off a few more. Yeah. We've been touring every for the last like three years, you know. Things happen pretty fast for me. and I took advantage of every ticket I could sell, but... You put the money away? I kind of. I'm not the best with money, but I'm not a complete idiot.

Okay. I've got some investments, so like if I was ever to, like, lose all my money, I'd still, I'd be okay. Did you set up a retirement account? Yeah. Did you set up a college account for your kid? No. It's called a 529 account, and it's tax deductible. You can put up to, like, you can put up to like $10,000 a year in it, and if you

start it now, you'll get compound interest on it and you really only have to put it in for like the first 10 years of his life, it'll accrue enough money to pay for college. What if he doesn't go to college? Then you can take it out, pay a penalty and he can use it for like a trade school or to travel or whatever. Okay. But it'll get him started in life. That would be cool. Yeah. No, I just left a map to where I buried cash for him. It's in the engine of a 69 GTO. Hell yeah. Yeah, right. All right, good. All right, man. Thanks for being here. Oh, thank you for having me, man. This was a great hang. Hell yeah.

I'll see you around the clubs. It's a nice meeting you. Yeah, you too.