Fitzdog Radio - Rick Ingraham - Episode 1045

Episode Date: March 12, 2024

A Comedy Store legend who just toured the world with Chris Rock and Chappelle, Rick Ingraham talks about not saving a life. Follow Rick Ingraham on Instagram @RickIngraham   

Welcome to FitzDog Radio, special edition from San Diego, California, home of the Padres, formerly the Chargers. They had the Chargers. Chargers sucked. We bought them, brought them to LA, became a fucking great team. Hey now. Sorry guys, they do not bring up the Chargers when you're here in San Diego. They get very upset. But they're very white. It's an extremely white city. It's the kind of city that white people come to and they go, I don't know what it is about this city. I fucking love this city. And then they move here and they're like, oh, my God, I haven't seen any diversity. It's creepy.

And it's nice. So people walk. Everybody goes for walks, power walks with yoga pants and bucket hats you know serious walkers with the wraparound sunglasses and the brooks shoes so we had a great weekend sold out all the shows thank you guys for coming out to the comedy store in la Jolla. Great fucking club. Great staff. Best member of the staff, of course, is my niece, Julia,

who moved out here from New York about six months ago. And I, in a desperate act of nepotism, got her a job as a waitress here. And she loves it. She's good friends with all the other servers. And they love her. Everybody loves her. She's good friends with all the other servers, and they love her. Everybody loves her.

She's the best. She's just the coolest, funnest, outgoing chick. So we had a lot of fun together. About to go play golf with her and my other cousin, Anthony, and his wife, Kelsey. And then I got one more show tonight, and then I'll head back to LA after the show,

about a two hour drive. I'll listen to some Phil Hendry podcasts. Um, CG Mariner did a great job featuring this weekend. And I was exhausted. The first night I got back from Florida, I visited my mom for five days in Florida. And man, is it, Florida is just,

everybody's retired, everybody's complaining. And all you do, it's, I love being with my mom. She is so dear to me and so precious to me. And she makes me so happy. But Florida is so boring you literally the expression kill time you get out an ak-47 and you just try to annihilate time there's too much time and you're trying to make less of it you're trying to hide it, bury it, swat at it, blow it up. There's too much time. So we went to a Yankees game, which was fun. It's spring training. So we went down to the Jupiter. It's called the Chevy something stadium. And it's just a great little stadium. Maybe it

holds 5,000 people or something. And everybody's into it. It's all Yankees. It's all New Yorkers. So it's all like Yankees hats and Derek Jeter jerseys. And it was fun. We got to our row. Guy at the end of my row recognized me, which was very nice. But the worst part about that is he's with a couple of friends and then they're kind of expecting you to be funny. And I'm in baseball mode. I mean, like trying to keep the stats, trying to keep track of who's a I'm not I don't want to be funny. That's the whole thing about Florida.

And then I meet my mom's friends at the pool and they all look at you like, all right, so say something. But their their idea of funny is very different than my idea of funny. So say something funny. But their idea of funny is very different than my idea of funny. It's a little like East Coast ball bustery, which I am, but in a different generation style of it. And I just don't, I'm on vacation. I don't want to be funny, anybody.

I just want to chill out. I want to be sad, pensive. So then we went to a movie the next day, just killing more time. And, uh, we saw this movie. It was actually kind of great. It was just a tear jerker. We, we didn't even, we didn't even know it was playing. We just literally walked into the theater and it was a Hilary Swank movie called ordinaryinary Angels. And there's a woman who's sitting next to me and she's like this old fat Jewish woman with like the gravelly I've smoked for 50 years voice. And she just keeps, it's a, it's, it's just a mindless take meaway kind of movie. And it's very sweet. You're definitely going to cry.

Hilary Swank is just the best. And so she just keeps saying, like, ah, that wouldn't happen. This isn't right. That doesn't look like Colorado. And then, so then all this, it's a magical escapade where you have to kind of believe. It's based on a true story, but obviously they brush it up a lot.

And there's a girl that needs a kidney and she's about, I don't know, what is she, seven? And she's very cute. And all of a sudden she's waiting for a kidney. She's dying. They have no money. Hilary Swank is raising money for them. All these like crazy fundraisers that you go like, yeah, that didn't happen. And then, and then all of a sudden it's like Christmas night,

they get the call. She finally moved up to number one on the list, but she's got to fly to Omaha and they're in whatever shit town they're in. So, um, the local news suddenly says, makes a plea to the town. Does anybody have a helicopter to get her to the plane? So some guy in a helicopter lands in a field. They take a sports utility vehicle on off-roads during a once-in-a-decade blizzard, somehow get there.

They take the helicopter to the airport, but now the runway is buried. And so everybody in town gets a shovel and the whole town makes a runway strip. And then she takes off and she gets there and she gets the kidney. And now she wakes up the next morning in the hospital room. Family is all around her. Her eyelids open. There's balloons in the room. Sunlight streaming in. And she smiles. And you're fucking crying. And the old Jewish woman goes, it's a blizzard.

Where are you going to get balloons? And my tears of sadness turned to tears of laughter in a split second. And I just love this woman um so go see it yeah it's if you're looking not to be challenged go see it it's fine um everything's broken at my mom's house she's got the toilet seat that you're taking a piss and it just it just comes down like a guillotine on your cock it just comes down and you have to try to catch it with your hand before it hits you in the penis and uh so that there's that game and then we get into the car and i'm going like i go i'm fucking

hot my mom's like yeah me too i'm like yeah but we got the air conditioner all the way on and it's not even that hot of a day I'm steaming and then I realized she got the seat warmers on and she she has had them on since the day she bought the car I had no idea how to turn them off so it's just been sitting in a hot seat in Florida for the last year with this car. It's like my aunt Jo in the Bronx. She had a car and it was on the same radio station at the same volume for the entire 20 years that she owned the car. What else was funny down in Florida? Oh, the other thing is like the elevator conversation. If you ever want to know what the weather is outside, you don't have to go to an app on your phone. Just get on the elevator and somebody's going to say, oh, it's, it's like 86 now. Yeah. It's supposed to rain tomorrow around three o'clock. Then you can just get off the elevator

and go, okay, got the weather. That's the only conversation that happens in that elevator. That's the only conversation that happens in that elevator. It reminds me, and then you go to the pool, and they're so sweet. My mom is like the bell of the ball at this building. People like, I was swimming laps every day in the pool, and then people go like, oh, did you move in here? I'm like, no, I'm not quite there yet. And they go, why are you, I go, well, I'm here visiting my mom. Well, who's your mom? Pat Fitzsimmons. Oh my God. Oh my God. Your Pat son. Are you the, are you the one in New York or

the one in Cal? Oh my God. And it's, it's so sweet. She's just, she's just the most liked person. And I love that. And people really take care of her. She's had some health issues in the last couple of years. A lot of people, a lot of outpouring of care. And, you know, just it's great. But the complaining, they complain. And it reminds me of that old Borscht Belt joke where the waiter comes over to the table of old Jewish women and goes, Ladies, is anything all right? All right. Say Patty's Day is coming up.

That's always a fun one for me. I used to march in the parade with the Ancient Order of Hibernians with my grandfather from Ireland, Florence McCarthy. But instead, we do the St. Patrick's Day show in L.A. This year, killer lineup. March 16th, we got Harlan Williams, Annie Letterman, the Sklar brothers, Laura Keitlinger,

Mike Gibbons will be up there, I'll be up there, and we have a special kind of a huge name guest stopping in. So it's going to sell out. Get your tickets at FitzDog.com. Also coming out to Boca Raton, florida misner park on april 3rd then we got tampa side splitters april 4th through 6th i'm also coming to mamaroneck

and pittsburgh tickets at fitzdog.com and uh we also want to say the support for Fitz Dog Radio comes from Game Time. Game Time is the shit. If you like to go to concerts, but you don't like that stress, there's always that stress when you go to a concert of like, am I getting ripped off? Am I buying too late? Am I buying too early? What's going to happen to prices?

Well, Game Time is your way to kind of like hang out, watch the prices, zoom in. What do we got here? We got in Dallas, Chris Brown is going to be playing for $146. Bad Bunny, $141. See, those prices are going to come down. Janet Jackson, $49. Who knows?

Maybe a tit pops out. Usher for $149. You can get comedy. You can get theater. You can get music uh you can get comedy you can get theater you can get music you can get sports it's all there um and they got these things last minute tickets flash deals zone deals and they they on the app the app is amazing you can look at the view from your seats of the venue that you're gonna be in and uh the great great thing is also the tickets are right up front. You can see how much the ticket costs without seeing all the extra charges, so you know what you're getting all in. What else do we say about them?

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Again, create an account and redeem code FITZDOG for $20 off. Download GameTime today. Last minute tickets, lowest price, guaranteed. Okay, my guest today is a good buddy of mine. I've spent a lot of hours hanging out with him at the store. He is one of the most well-respected comics at the store. He just finished a worldwide tour opening for Dave Chappelle and Chris Rock. They love him.

He did like 200 dates last year with them. If you're ever in LA, he's the guy you really want to see. Nobody does crowd work. I shouldn't say nobody. Ian Bagg is great. There's a few people that are great, but this guy is the top of the craft. He used to open for Dice and he had a special on Comedy Central that Bill Burr produced. He used to be on, I used to do David Spade Show Lights Out with him. So anyway, check it out. Here's my chat last week with the

great rick ingram Welcome to FitzDog Radio. My guest, Rick Ingram. Hi. Kind of looking like a queer in that shirt. Well, I don't want to say that I'm looking like one, but I'm certainly feeling like one. Yeah. And that's nice. It's good to be a part of Hollywood again.

I wish I was gay. I swear to God, my life would be so much more fun. Just from doing crowd work, talking to the gay guys, their perspective on life is really a superior, let's have a good time.

No worries. No kids. There was a couple, they'd been together for 15 years. They spent four of it in Europe and they said when

they were in europe they had a rule that they could just bang whoever they wanted i'm like oh that seems dangerous as can be yeah but okay when in europe uh they said like eight years ago they were there damn and uh i said well so what do you do you just go out to the club and meet dudes and they're like yeah we're gay i was like oh safe answer i wonder if you're gay how much because sometimes you see gay couples and they start to look more and more like each other the longer they date like grow together i think they grow together i think they're borrowing each other's clothing right i think maybe if you're a narcissist, you seek out somebody that looks like you. All right. I mean, I think the best part about it is that it still makes everybody tremendously uncomfortable to talk about. Yeah.

So as these dudes are just being honest and telling you their story and having fun, the people around them are all looking at them like, news was right yeah yeah yeah spreading it all around europe spreading what you're right they're europeans they're they're just they're just doing exactly what you would do with women if they allowed the green light yeah why do you think gay men are freer than straight couples? I mean, I guess it's just a double testosterone. Yeah. Motives are the same. Right.

There's less of the trying to passive aggressively manipulate. Right. I don't know. Women tap the brakes. Men don't tap the brakes. There's the brakes. Men don't tap the brakes. There's no brakes. And I only know from a straight perspective, but interacting with my other friends, we're always trying to push the boundaries.

Yeah. You don't want to be the first one to be like, all right, that's too far. Yeah. So maybe it's the same deal. Maybe sexually they're like, well, let's see how far we can take it. Yeah, yeah. And that just doesn't work in the sexual world.

Just doesn't. It is great though, as far as crowd work goes, Yeah, yeah. And that just doesn't work in the sexual world. Just doesn't. It is great, though, as far as crowd work goes, which you are, in my mind, the best crowd work person out there. I appreciate it. I mean, there's a lot of people that are doing it. Yeah. A lot of them are giving it a bad name.

It's kind of an oversaturated market of bullshit at this point. And everyone's like, you got to put out clips. I'm like, I don't know why I want to be a part of this sea of terribleness. That's a shame because Ian Bagg is putting those clips out, and Ian is up there with you. Ian is a master. He's putting out the clips, and he's starting to pack in big rooms. Fuck. That means I should probably do it.

Look, I'm not here to take your inventory. I think a website might be a start. Yeah, it'd probably be good. Maybe a Wikipedia page would be somewhere to go. Do you start your own Wikipedia page? It feels like there needs to be a creepy person who's in charge of that. And then you have to go in and change it. All right, so ask Paulie to do it for you.

You know what actually that might be the best viral clip of all time is just clips of paulie filling out people's wikipedia he has no knowledge he's known me for 20 years knows nothing about me uh my dickie's from iowa nope and um he has like a bunch of like farm animals and stuff. No, that's son-in-law. You're thinking of your movie. Right? He's in the army.

That's also you. That was Andy Dick, man. But really, I mean, it is a shame because, well, the store is going to put cameras in and then, then you don't even have to worry about dragging your own video camera and they'll just shoot it. That'd be nice. And you post it and people can see what you do is it's such a different level.

Then the guy that walks up, somebody goes, what do you do? I'm a plumber. I roll to the other side of the room and then and then frozen because they're not even ready especially if it's something unusual my my favorite is that a lot of people will do it they'll just ask where they're from they respond you can tell they have no frame of reference whatsoever to respond and they just go that sucks and then give the the smile around nothing

makes me angrier than the smile around after that sucks right yeah this dude jimmy pidd used to kill us he'd just go where are you from and they'd be like uh uh from dayton dayton where's that ohio ain't never been there and that was that was just his go-to it was like he thought it was like a rodney dangerfield catchphrase and we like four comics in the back would just die yeah and everyone else in the room would be like what yeah ain't never been there where miami was like where is that that's a pretty big place to be, man. Yeah. I remember I met Henny Youngman once. You remember Henny Youngman? Yeah.

I was at the Friars Club in New York. And I was a kid. My dad was a member, so I used to go to the Friars Club when I was a kid. Wow. Does it still exist at all? No, it just closed last year. Wow. Okay.

Because they was all old people by the end. I mean, there used to be, in like like 2005 these two old dudes used to come to the comedy store and that's what that was there we were from the friars club oh really and i go oh are you guys still doing stuff kind of yeah and that was what they were implying 15 almost 20 years well that's the la club the la one this is the one in new york the one in new york was the real deal like it was like sinatra was there with fucking henny youngman and milton burl and you know um jack carter and alan king and all those guys but by the way guys no women allowed well they they had a certain level of respect back then

yeah for society yeah i mean hookers they'd have bachelor parties with hookers. But. Yeah, I mean, you want the women for that. Yes. You don't, you break the rules for some things. Yeah, you don't want a lap dance from Henny. So Henny goes to me, he goes, where are you from, kid? And I said, Tarrytown, New York.

He goes, I thought they closed that. And then he just turned around and walked away. And I was 11. I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard in my a great line but you love it you're like damn you closed it it doesn't work for miami i really don't know if he was cocked and loaded with that before he asked a question right or if he had a different answer for different types that was his go-to yeah yeah yeah because he didn't you see a lot of that one of the other annoying things and people all the time go so that was all off the cuff and i go no yeah it wasn't all off the cuff but there are people

who consider themselves crowd work comics that the entire set is just setups yeah for their bit right and it's like that's fine but then they got off stage and people oh my god is that off the cuff oh yeah yeah you never know it's gonna be out there i'm like yeah but if you ask them a question about where they went on vacation all right like you're jay leno or something anything funny having you on vacation recently yeah oh but there's just so many terrible levels of crowd work what's funny though is that comedy in general because i do crowd work not not a ton but i do i do a fair amount of crowd work yeah and i mix it in it's good i mix it in yeah um and i and i kind of use it as connective tissue to bits usually yeah and uh but i do find sometimes i'll start with something interesting you know like uh ma'am you look like you have

tied him up and you can tell and you're usually right with somebody like that yeah and then that will lead to something interesting because people that tie each other up love to fucking talk about it in front of a crowd of people yeah they love making everyone uncomfortable yeah like showing that they're so special right right yeah i mean people will say well how do you find the right people i'm like you can kind of tell yeah and like i i do at the beginning of every set i do a stupid thing where i walk around and act like the crowd absolutely loves me and even though no one knows who i am they're all just looking at me like who is this asshole yeah but i'm just waving and all i'm doing

is literally looking like i can find five people that i know i'm gonna make fun of right right and then you just as you make fun of people you get in your head you go oh there was that asshole over there who definitely wants everyone to give him attention so you don't go to that guy you you go to him but towards the end just so you can shut him down and tell him what a loser he is right right um try and work it in in a natural way yeah pick around the people him. If you can get him kind of. Oh, I see. So you just try and agitate him a little bit.

He's like, why is he talking to me? Yeah. And I also go up usually pretty late in the show. So there's usually a couple people who have already shown themselves to be people that the rest of the crowd hates. Yeah. As long as you sacrifice one of those people,

you can say whatever you want to everybody else. Right, right, right. So do you watch the comics ahead of you to see who's talking to who? I'll watch whoever's before me, basically. I can't watch comedy anymore. It's tough. Who are the people that you will sit in that back row

and watch on stage? I'll watch Fahim. I'll watch you. I'll watch Holtzman. I'll watch... Harlan? I'll watch Harlan. I mean, that's a weird thing in general.

And sometimes he just destroys. Yeah. And the crowd, I've never seen a crowd that looks so happy and confused. Yes. But following him is great. Yeah. So he always gives me the same intro.

He's like, this guy won't tell you this, but I write all of his jokes. And you're just like, after what they watched. And so whenever he does it, then I have to go and be like, could you imagine if I came out and I just had the same exact cadence that he had you ever put your penis

in a blender call that a ponderosa you will you know what but that made him saying that made me wonder because i don't usually think about like, how does a comic, right? Yeah. Well, how does Harlan Williams, right? Right. Any of the stuff he says on stage had to be a spontaneous.

I know. Non sequitur nonsense that then he's like, that's a keeper. Yeah. I don't know. It's weird. He's so in the moment and he's so, he will always comment on who went ahead of him,

who's coming after him. I mean, it's almost like doing crowd work is a way of showing that you're in the moment and that you're not mailing it in, you're present. And I think that what he does, he does crowd work, but even when he's not doing crowd work, he's sort of giving you what's going on in here. Yeah.

And there's something about watching a comic like that even if they're not killing if they're being honest you're you're watching them yeah no i mean i i find them incredibly intriguing he makes me laugh it's just so weird yeah i have like no i i don't have a frame of reference for how someone can be that comedian yeah yeah but then like we i talked to him on our podcast and the comedy store podcast I don't have a frame of reference for how someone can be that comedian. Yeah, yeah. But then I talked to him on our podcast, on the Comedy Store podcast,

and he was talking straight. He's like, he'll go in and out of being the weird guy. Right. Talking about how he did immigration the right way. You're like, hold on. Is he taking an immigration stance? Oh, no, no, no. He gets political.

Yeah. Yeah. And he was like, why did, is he taking an immigration stance? Oh, no, no, no. He gets political. Yeah. Yeah. And he's like, why did I fill out all the paperwork? And I'm just like, this is the clips America needs. Yeah. This is Harlan Williams taking a stance. I remember I was saying that we should all feel a little bit guilty about slavery. Huh?

Yeah. What did you do? Yeah. What did you do? I'm like, I don't know. I just kind of feel a little bit bad. Yeah. It seemed like a shitty thing.

No guilt. Did you buy somebody? No, I didn't. I didn't. I just love it. If he went hard, right. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. Well, that's what's funny about standup right now is that it was so liberal it was literally a hundred percent layer other than the than the blue collar comedy guys right everybody was a bleeding heart liberal yeah then things swung so far to the left as i'm not saying anything that's not fucking you know people know at this point but well the problem is real comedians reacted to that and started i don't know if you would people know at this point but well the problem is real comedians reacted to that and started i don't know if you would say moving to the right but calling bullshit on the left i think i honestly think the problem is that most of the left doesn't care

either but the only voices anybody hears are on social media yeah and the cyber left are loud and obnoxious and they care more about anything than anybody has ever cared in the world yeah and we're all wrong right but like i i honestly thought that's how it was and when i went on tour and like everywhere i went no one gives a fuck at all except for new york la in the bay yeah other than that no one cares right right like they don't want to see someone doing clean, not even clean. They like clean comedy. They just don't want to see agenda. They don't want to see the status quo mirrored back at them.

Yeah. They want to see somebody who, you know, they want to see you say the things they can't say at work. Right. And the people who want to go see comedy are those people right like the people who are uncomfortable with laughing at things they're not going to go to a comedy show and i hope they do because without them we need you're just preaching otherwise you're in austin yeah everybody's just preaching the converted yeah and that then it's just a giant who can cross the line yeah the furthest line. But there's no line.

Yeah. Because it's championed almost. Yeah. Yeah, and people always go, well, aren't you scared in LA that people are going to get mad? No. No. Who cares?

Scared of what? They're not putting me on ABC. Yeah. I don't care. It's pretty amazing because I just had Dave Attell on the podcast, and here's a guy that I've considered him to be to be the best club comic absolutely for the last 20 years I just had a conversation with someone else about how he's the best and he just stayed in clubs just stayed in clubs yeah and you know he's the guy that has created the line to go over he was the first one to be talking about retarded and rape and you know

saying the n-word on stage and all this stuff and as soon as he did it all of a sudden a bunch of people would run up to that line but he was the one who was always pushing the line a little further right and now i feel like he's very sensitive to being canceled because you see it happen that fast on the internet. You know what though? But he's one of those guys that I think if he got canceled, he would, you'd get one and a half times as many ticket sales. Because I mean, just looking at the people that we know that were maybe a little bit of something and then got canceled and then had blown up. Yeah. Because what's going to happen is you're going to get

an automatic explosion of people from the other side of, you know, whatever it is that are going to go, oh, I like him because they don't like him. Yeah. And then some of those people are such huge douches that they're eventually going to be like, well, I don't really like this guy. Yeah, I forgot to check in and see if I actually like him.

Not the concept of him, but him. And so you'll lose some there, but you're still going to be like, I don't really like this guy. Yeah, I forgot to check in and see if I actually like him. Not the concept of him, but him. And so you'll lose some there, but you're still going to gain people who are like, all right. Have any women been canceled in the comedy world? I don't think so. I think they pretty much do the canceling. Yeah.

And so it's probably like an under, you know, they don't do that out in public they're gonna passive aggressively cancel them by spreading lies about them through their own i think amy schumer sometimes they're always trying to cancel amy schumer yeah and she's another one who just doesn't give a fuck so yeah she's like all right cancel me yeah right and she just grows from it yeah get stronger from it yeah i think it's just about never apologizing you know i think i shouldn't say never there's there's circumstances where you know i i think you should apologize if you feel bad right and if you're just apologizing because people think you should then you should

never do that right but i mean like i've said things before that i'm like oh that was kind of shitty yes and i wouldn't feel i i didn't apologize but i wouldn't have felt bad if like a person came up to me after the show and been like hey what you said was kind of fucked up yeah and i would have said i honestly didn't know i was hitting the nail on the head right you know i was kind of throwing it out sorry yeah you know my bad yeah you're a victim of comedy i don't know what to tell you right it's also there's a part of me that is um i want to be on the line just over the line like that's where i that's my happy place in comedy right but i also was raised irish catholic to be very polite to care about people liberal household and so when like i did a joke it wasn't even a joke. I told a true story in Portland.

I'd gotten a massage the day before from a blind masseuse. And I told the story just truthfully. I didn't even fucking bend it. All I had to do was talk about her. She literally had her elbow on the table next to my shoulder, pushing it down into the table. Just shit like that. And then I'm walking and I'm selling my stupid pins after the show, cause I'm a hack. And out-

How dare you like money? What an asshole. Trying to feed those fucking hacky kids. Yeah. And so this woman comes out with a cane and I just, she was with somebody and I was just like, oh fuck. And there's that moment where you go like,

I'm the worst person in the world yeah but you're not it's just i guess you gotta understand that like a gay guy if you're teasing him is aware that comedy is about pointing out what's unusual and in a way celebrating it. Yeah. I mean, I never, like a lot of times I'll do a thing where I find like bros. Yeah. Like just dudes you can tell are douchebags. Yeah. And then I'll ask them if they're gay. Yeah.

And they always get really defensive about it. And to me, that's hilarious. And the crowd thinks it's funny. And the dude will be like, hell no. Right. And if you get something like that where you're like oh you're so straight but you're outraged that's hilarious to me that's great and and so i do it and i i did a i recorded a thing in la jolla like 15 years ago just so i had a thing and i put it on youtube and i never even went back and looked at it yeah but i was on tour and we were doing shows at the dolby and uh the red hot chili peppers were there

and anthony kidis comes up and he's like hey uh so they told me you're the opening act and stuff so i watched some of your clips and i'm like oh cool he's like you you kind of made those guys uncomfortable by accusing him of being gay and i'm like what clips are you talking. And he's like, you kind of made those guys uncomfortable by accusing them of being gay. And I'm like, what clips are you talking about? And he's like, I don't know.

It was like from far away in La Jolla. I'm like, oh. Yeah. So I'm like, oh. And so I tried to like kind of explain it to him. Yeah.

But I'm just like, well, I knew they weren't gay. Yeah. But I knew it would make them uncomfortable if I asked if they were gay yeah so it was really about making them uncomfortable and he was like oh that's interesting i'm like is that interesting and then he came up to me after the show and he was like i get it now you're bullying for the right

reasons is that what he said yeah i'm trying man just i just like making people uncomfortable. I don't know. That's amazing. Yeah, so in my mind, I'm like, the thought of him watching YouTube clips, just the shittiest YouTube clips. Yeah. But I don't know. He wanted to be prepared for, I guess,

what he was going to see. And he was like, man, I don't want this guy to bully me. That's amazing. I'm trying to think of the Chili Peppers, if they've ever had anything misogynistic or homophobic in their media, they kind of don't. They're so LA. Yeah. It's like, I mean, they were incredibly cool.

They were one of those famous people where I'm like, oh, they're all right. It's like a weird, they don't seem, they don't act like they're better than everyone. I saw them on 60 Minutes, and they mostly all got sober because they lost one or two band members. A couple guys, yeah. And so I read Anthony Kiedis' autobiography, and what a fucking childhood. He literally, he grew up with just a dad who was a drunk

who was never around, and he would just skateboard. Wander around, yeah. He just wandered around skateboard in hollywood and got into punk rock and yeah you know uh really is like a pretty inspirational dude and then flea is just a musical fucking genius dude he's the coolest too he really is like he's like he's him and rocker like buddy buddies so no shit i'd see him all the time and he's like buddy buddies. No shit. I would see him all the time. Wow. He's like hanging out. His wife just had a baby. She was like super pregnant during the tour. Yeah.

It's like hanging out with dad Flea. Damn. Yeah, he's cool. Wow. Yeah, he's one of those people where you're just like, oh man, they're as cool as you would want them to be as rock stars. Yeah, because sometimes you don't even want to meet somebody like Flea because you're so afraid they'll let you down.

They're going to be pretentious. Yeah, right. Yeah, we were in don't even want to meet somebody like Flea because you're so afraid they'll let you down. They're going to be pretentious. Yeah, right. Yeah, we were in Vegas and he was there and then Mike Tyson showed up and then their interactions were, I'm just like, this is so great. I'm like, who invited Tyson? They're like, no one invited Tyson. Tyson just goes where he wants and security will just let him in anywhere.

He's got a permanent wristband for everywhere he goes. He walks straight in hey is this food for everybody they're like well yes it was like chris's writer table he went straight into it started making uh he was making ramen noodles and hilarious just giving everyone his prison recipes for cheese uh cheese it ramen noodle don't put all the water in you want half the water that's the biggest secret i'm just like yeah okay cheese it cheese nips it does not matter crush them up put them in there okay brand is not important got it we all just sat and watched just like why is this happening and then tyson's wife's like why

are you eating everybody's food he's like i asked that white guy the white guy said i could have it i'm like i didn't just i said it was i thought it was for everybody i don't know uh they gotta pair him you know what they do with snoop dogg and martha stew they got to pair up Tyson with like Carol Burnett. Oh, that'd be nice. Or somebody like that. Because he is fucking amazing when he speaks. He's so philosophical. He's filled with wisdom. And it's wisdom that's been hammered out.

It's not like when you're watching TikTok and some 24-year-old comes out and he starts telling you how it is and how you need to follow the Stoics. Well, I don't know if you have the same American studies professor that he had this semester, but it really opened his eyes,

Greg. Yes. And he was African American. And yes, he was a white guy from South Africa, but. Yeah. So. Yeah. That's a different level of knowledge that it's harder to respect. Yeah. white guy from South Africa, but... Yeah, so... Yeah, that's a different level of knowledge.

It's harder to respect. Yeah, because it's coming from psychedelics, beating people to death, and growing up in the most intense hood experience you could ever have. And loving his pigeons.

And loving his pigeons. Yeah. What do you think that's all about? I think that's a big inner city And loving his pigeons. And loving his pigeons. Yeah. What do you think that's all about? I think that's a big inner city thing, having pigeons. Yeah, I think if you can't have a pet. If you can't have a fighting dog. Yeah, like if your family's not going to get you a dog or a cat, and you're like, if you live in the country,

you could befriend squirrels or something. But in New York or wherever wherever your choices are pigeons or rats and if you're the dude who's keeping rats no one's your friend right at least pigeon guy they're like i don't know yeah there's something weird but yeah they keep coming back to him there must be something special about that guy like yeah he's feeding him seed he's giving him food pigeons literally can't survive without human beings they would die yes it'd take like three seasons and they would be dead. Yeah.

Yeah. We are their ecosystem. Yeah. So who are the, who are the comics that you think, because a lot of people consider you an underrated comedian and, and part of that is your own fault. Obviously you don't put clips online.

You don't have a website. I tried to get your tour date so I could promote them, but couldn't find them. I don't have a website yeah i tried to get your tour dates so i could promote them but couldn't find them i don't even have any that's the exciting part so you you really aren't and yet considered by any comic in la to be one of the top guys out here yeah so we're not we we don't have to delve into that yeah Yeah, I'm not good at building fraudulent relationships with people. Yeah, is that what it is? So it's like I just can't, I'll feel terrible. So if like some agent guy came up to me and was like,

hey, I want to make you a bunch of money, I'd be like, sweet. Yeah. Because that dude's being honest with me. Right, right. But everyone I meet is like, hey, I'm an assistant. I really think maybe if you get some things going, we should talk. And he's like, fuck this guy. Right, right.

So I'm not going to pursue that because that dude just feels like an asshole to me. Yeah. But I don't know. People always say, God, ask everyone for help. I'm like, nah, I'm not doing that. Yeah, yeah. I'm just not.

Yeah. Like if someone thinks I'm good for something, they put me in it. Uh-huh. But I don't know. Well, it seems to be working out. I mean, you're you're doing great right now but it's just funny when you think about like who else who are the other

comics that you think are the most underrated in the lac um and that's hard to say there's holtzman but he's he's he's austin now. He's in Austin now. And that's another thing. I think I would recommend Holtzman to people in my inner circle, but I would never tell someone just randomly who was like, who should I go see at the store? I wouldn't be like, go see Brian Holtzman, because then that person would be like, you told me to go watch the baby raping guy? I'd be like, well, it's not really a joke about baby raping.

It's about, anyway, I feel context. Right. It's meta on meta. Yeah. But like when my friends will be like, you know, who should we watch? Stick around. Watch Brian for sure. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, it's tough. I he's great yeah he's amazing i keep thinking he's gonna have a big year yeah you know he's one of those dudes where it's like when i started comedy i had this naivety that i thought people were funnier like they were just funny people yeah and they said funny things a lot and i didn't realize that like 60 percent of comedians weren't funny in the slightest and they were just pretty good at learning to be a comedian right right um and so it's like i would see guys kill with the same 30 minutes for 10 years yeah and like they they kill every night but yeah it's the same 10 minutes right but themes one of those dudes were like if you watch them once every two or three weeks

you're gonna see at least five minutes of new shit right which is like on par with everyone else's been doing it for 10 years shit yeah Yeah, right, right. So that's cool. One of the biggest things for me is I hate feeling like I'm watching reruns. Yeah. Especially comedians that I don't find funny. Then you're just like, oh God. Yeah. Am I watching Mad About You reruns right now?

Right, right. Whatever it is. Yeah. But yeah, he's one of those dudes that's really, he's funny and he's such a good dude offstage. Yeah. You root for him. Right, right. um it's funny i don't have any qualms about loving a comic as a person

and fucking hating their act like i can be friends with a hack some of my dear friends are hacks it's i mean i think it's just harder for me to be friends with people in general. Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah. If someone's a hack, can you be friends with them? Yeah, I could do it. But they would have to be a really good person. Right, right, right. There would have to be like an element where I'd be like,

I would be friends with them outside of comedy. Right. And then you can just pretend. Yeah. But there's people that, for whatever reason, I don't understand, think that I like them as comedians. And it's one of the things that hurts me the most is when they'll say it out loud.

And they'll just be like, man, I'm glad you like me. And I'm just like... Yeah. And then you've got to do an intro for them. Yeah. Oh, man, this next guy. That's hard. That's the thing people don't understand about the comedy stores there's no host so each comic brings up the next

comic yeah and you look on the list and sometimes you see a name and you're like how am i even going to do my set knowing at the end of it what a bald-faced lie i'm gonna have to tell you guys are in for a treat this next comic come up is a favorite here that's always a sign yeah they're a favorite here here just here and for a long time that was people just be like this guy is a comedy store legend I'm like I've only been here for six years what does that mean right I hate legend because I've been doing it 35 years. Okay. And so the word legend will get thrown around just as a way. It's like when they call you old school. Yeah.

Old school and legend just means they're putting you on a shelf. Yeah. What they're doing is putting you on an iceberg. Right. They're setting you out to sea. Right, right. I think Don Marrera hates it too. Yeah.

I remember watching him in the OR when someone brought him up. This guy's a legend. Yeah. Oh, good. An old comic. That's what everyone in the room thought legend and then the moment you said someone who's not incredibly famous yeah therefore getting legend for a different reason right this next guy has been grandfathered into this show i i still love talking shit about argus at the comedy store yeah oh yeah? And he just destroys now. Yeah. And so it's almost ironic when I make fun of it.

Wait, explain who Argus is because this is a really interesting story. Argus was a comic. Argus Hamilton. Argus Hamilton. He got to the comedy store in like 75 or something. It just opened, basically. It just opened. It just opened. He was there in like the first five years and young, good looking kid from Oklahoma.

Started doing tonight shows and all that partying, got more into the partying. Meanwhile, started developing a relationship with Mitzi Shore. Romantic. Romantic. And they were kind of off and on, but they partied. They did a bunch of blow,

and they did what people did in the 70s and the early 80s. And he partied really hard, and then at some point they broke up, but they stayed close. And even as Mitzi kind of drifted into like a dementia, he would go over and visit her all the time. So they still had this personal relationship so 20 years ago i showed up and i got a job as a doorman and they're kind of telling me about what's going on the club is doing terrible and i make fun of things all the time

that's just kind of what i do and so i was talking shit about one of the terrible paid regulars at the time and someone was like hey you shouldn't make fun of paid regulars at the time. And someone was like, Hey, you shouldn't make fun of paid regulars. I'm like, yeah, but that guy sucks. Yeah. And they're like, all right,

just don't make fun of Argus. Cause he's kind of like off limits. So immediately I'm like, well now we got to make fun of Argus. And Argus was always nice. This is 20 years ago, 20 years ago. Yeah.

And he'd like corner me. Oh, well rich. And then he started telling me some story about all the headshots and so i just sat there and took it all in and then um i went on the road with paulie and i would always yell at paulie as argus because i thought it was funny that when paulie was a kid argus would be like a drunk dude at his house. Yeah. And so then Pauly started making me do Argus on the morning radio. Uh-huh.

And so they'd be like, one of their morning radio's ongoing gags was to try and make Pauly look stupid. Yeah. And so they'd always be like, hey, we're going to do Trivia Bowl today with Pauly Shore. And Pauly would be like, yeah i brought my my friend argus hamilton's gonna do it and then i would just do the thing as argus never introduced as rick so they're just like who's this guy yeah and i would just destroy whatever their stupid trivia bowl was

history questions and they thought they were gonna ask like like Pauly Shore about General Pinochet and things but instead they get me rambling as Argus Hamilton. Not only that but General Pinochet had one hell of a laugh. And the people, who is this? So then I started doing it at the comedy store for everybody. Yeah, I would just do it on stage late night or I'd do it off stage because I was drunk. And then it got to the point that a bunch of old comedy store people would show up and I would do it to them and they loved it. Yeah.

And I got hammered with Robin Williams one night because I was pretending to be Argus. So it was just like- That's amazing. There were like all these things. And then one of argus's biggest things though is that he's sober he got sober in the mid 80s and um he's been sober ever since so when johnny carson died my impression started drinking again and then it became drunk

argus uh-huh and then i would just go on stage like two comics after argus and yell about whatever argus said and like was he aware of all this yeah eventually he found out yeah and then uh and then he'd call me rich hey it's argus uh listen a buddy of mine was at the show the other night and he said one of the young pups was really giving me the business and the way he described him it sounded to me like you oh yeah it was me sorry i guess you might tell me what you said oh i i just said that uh you used to fuck the owner and uh you fucked her so good in 85 that you still get spots in 2005 well that's not too far from the truth just wanted to make sure we didn't have any bad blood no no just just having fun all right buddy i'll see you around the store all right

now i get one of those calls like every seven or eight months i got had another friend stop by yeah oh that's amazing yeah he's great and he always gives well, if the golf channel ends up picking up my show, I'll definitely work you on it. It's been 20 years, man. I've heard that. He's told me about the golf show. I don't think the golf show's getting picked up. So just so people know, Argus, to this day, Mitzi's been dead for eight years.

Yeah, something like that. And he continues to, like a ghost is booking the show. He's still on every, not every night, but a few nights a week. He's up there a few nights a week. And what's amazing is it wasn't great for audiences for a while. Yeah. Just because it's kind of an out of touch comedy style. Like his style is still kind of an 80s style.

Yeah. like his style still kind of an 80s style yeah um but post-covid he kind of came out and like embraced that he's this kind of creepy white boomer yeah and it's it really sells yeah he's like he really owns it and it's like he's having fun he's like telling everyone to have fun and yeah so it's like and he's writing like a fucking madman non-stop yeah he's not doing any of the old shit he did i saw him do for a couple years and stuff like no he's got shit right out of the newspaper and doing well everybody loves him he doesn't hang out nope can't hang out because the alcohol oh is that what it is yeah he comes and goes but he's super confident and it cracks me up yeah he saw me he goes i was

wearing my suit and he goes oh you're looking good rich okay yeah thanks man you know sometimes you got to dress up he goes well the word on the street is that two people here are shaking the walls and i think you know who they are buddy keep up the good work two people is shaking the he was implying that me and him are shaking the walls. That's the word on the street. I just was like, all right, man, have a good night. So excited that confidence. Someday when he dies, God rest in peace. I hope it never happens.

But when it does, you are speaking at that funeral. I hope so. You were going to say you're going to come from the grave and say goodbye to everybody one final time. You know what? That is really the dream. Yeah. Is to show up.

Well, got the bottle of Jack in hand. Heading out to Mitzi's tonight. I want to come by the club one more time. Is Ollie Joe here? You're not there yet, Argus. You're not there yet. You're still on earth. Ollie Joe's dead, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Ollie Joe Prater? Yeah. Yeah. Ali Joe Prater? Yeah. Yeah. Jesus. And Ali Joe was just, he was basically like Hank Williams Jr. of comedy. Yeah.

And he had incredible energy, allegedly. It was like contagious, would cause contagious laughter. Yeah. But would go on the road and literally do 55 minutes of his hour was just straight stolen bits from the other comics at the comedy store shit you just like take people's bits and then it was like the i make it better yeah yeah um was he a kinnison guy i think he might have been he might have predated yeah kinnison but okay but I don't know when he died. But he definitely was of that outlaw kind of era.

So if you were working the door 20 years ago at the store, and you've only been passed for six years, what happened during those 14 years? I got passed the first year. Oh, so you didn't get passed. You're a regular. Yeah, yeah. You've been a regular for six years.

I've been a paid regular at the comedy store for 20 years now uh-huh uh i got passed like four months after i became a door man okay got it yeah um so you've seen it all yeah i've been i've been there forever who when you were a low-life door guy who treated you the worst oh man eddie griffin really um it was that era eddie was always pretty shitty uh-huh um he would come in he'd have like four cars you mean like managers and hangers yeah it was just entourage usually yeah and then he would show up they would uh they would steal champagne from the walk-in cooler and then put it in their suvs and then he would go on stage and do three hours yeah and most of the crowd there was never really a crowd there'd be like 20 people there on a good night yeah and uh hour into a set there would be five people left and meanwhile the

entire lineup people that were yeah dying to get spots yeah jump through hoops to get a 15 minute spot aren't going on that god yeah i mean easily out of the 12 people on the lineup nine of them wouldn't go up yeah and i mean he wasn't even doing bits he was just drunk and yeah he liked to say he was philosophizing uh-huh and it was a lot of making he was kind of Trumpian and like he would just make statements that everybody knew weren't true but it's just like what are we supposed to yeah you got a problem

with that you should know I went to Harvard and Yale you're like what in my mind I'm like I know he's from Raytown Kansas City and he definitely didn't go to junior college let alone yeah like what why didn't go to junior college, let alone. Yeah. I was like, why did you go to Harvard and Yale?

You're unhappy with the education at Harvard? Oh, I could have been a mathematician. I think that guy, to this day, when he does a club, he gets a new pair of sneakers. Yeah, I believe that's, I heard that writer's story. In his dressing room. Then there are a certain type of Nikes. They're like $ of sneakers. Yeah, I believe that's... I heard that writer's story. In his dressing room. Then there are a certain type of Nikes. They're like $200 sneakers.

Yeah. And every week he comes home with another pair of sneakers. Same ones. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, some of them are insane. Dice used to get

three cartons of Benson & Hedges and he didn't smoke. He quit smoking. And then he'd be like, get the cartons. Why are you taking the cartons and then for a while he would just do unlit and just hold it yeah like why don't you just ask for like two packs why do you need i don't understand why are we every every single city get 30 packs of cigarettes yeah what was rocks rider like it's pretty normal it's like

uh sandwich stuff and um and he'd have writers on the road sebastiano ever come out or chuck sklar those guys no they're his guys who's the first guy frank sebastiano frank came out yeah he's the dude who wrote Dirty Work. Yeah. Yeah, that guy's great. He's fucking great. Yeah, he is. He's like, Frank Sebastiano started out, he worked his way up at SNL, and he was Norm's guy.

He wrote most of the stuff Norm did. And then he was writing for Letterman, and he's the only guy that was writing remotely for Letterman ever. Wow. And Saturday Night Live ever, and he was doing both at the same time from ever. Wow. And Saturday Night Live ever. And he was doing both at the same time from LA. Damn. For years.

That's impressive. Yeah. Yeah, that dude, he's cool. I embarrassingly, a song started playing and I quoted Dirty Work, not realizing that he had written Dirty Work. No shit. Yeah.

We were on a private plane, and I go, it was if you like pina coladas came on, and I go, does this remind anyone else of Rolling Stone, Street Fightin' Man, G7? And he literally just looked at me like, this guy making fun of me? Yeah. And he's like, do you know I wrote that?

And I go, you wrote that line? And he's like, no, I wrote that movie. I went, oh. Well, now I feel like an asshole. You probably do know what movie this reminds me of. That's hilarious. Yeah, what he was cool about, you could tell he was just like, all right. Once he realized I wasn't trying to be a piece of shit. Right, right.

Yeah, he came out a couple shows and helped punch up and stuff like that. Yeah, I remember Rock had this famous thing where he goes i don't know if it's famous somebody told me he said it might have been louis ck told me this that rock said uh most uh most black entertainers make a lot of money and they buy bling he goes i buy writers every award show that dude's got this arsenal of killer writers. I'm trying to think of it. Tom Agnes is one of them. And it's all white, all white writers.

I remember when he did Oscars years ago, the one where he made fun of, what's the guy? Jude Law. Yeah. And Sean Penn got all offended by it. Just so our host knows,ude law is one of the most respected actors like it's a joke man it was a joke about how many movies jude law is in right um but when he was writing for that he had like richard jenny and like his writer room came in i'm like holy shit it was like the like the biggest names of the 90s basically and louis

louis used to write for him a lot back then. Yeah. And if you write for him, you get a Rolex watch that says, fuck you, Chris Rock, engraved on the back of it. Nice. That's a dream. You didn't get one on the tour? No, I didn't.

You must not have been crushing. No, no. I don't think I count as a writer. I was given associate producer credit on the special, which I was- Were you really? I was surprised to find out. No shit. No, it was the opening act.

So I'm like- Pretty sweet. What do you think? I'm like, I don't think they put opening act on the- Yeah. Like, I don't know. And then I saw it at the end, it said associate producer. I'm like, oh.

Nice. And then in my mind, mind i'm like so that means associate producers in general probably don't do anything yeah it's just like a honorary it's honorary yeah yeah yeah but you know what added to it goes on your imdb page yeah that's true i gotta i've had a few special thanks on specials that i didn't know i was thanked on until i looked at my mdb page and i was like oh that was not i think i can't remember who even did it but uh it's it's it's something yeah yeah he's good the way he handles it is so professional it's like yeah it's uh like existing in the worlds of rock and Chappelle is such a,

it's almost like being schizophrenic. Totally different. I mean, insanely different realms. And like their synergy together is amazing. And they're like the way the shows work when they do them together is great. Yeah. Crowd loves like the contrast of it.

But I mean, it is like watching like a finely pruned rose garden versus the craziest wildflower explosion of all time yeah Chris hones his shit I mean it's just amazing I'll see him like before he goes on

tour he'll come into the store and he'll do shit and he has no qualms about not killing he is like a scientist in a laboratory yeah he just stands there and he'll go what else yep what else looking for the lines he'll do the seller in new york he'll do the comedy store in l.a and then like he's so intense about it so before then he starts his tour he'll go to like like this last tour. He went to Nashville for a couple of weeks or something. He wants to test out the jokes he's been doing in the big cities.

Yeah. In a neutral American place. Right. That's good. And then kind of rebuilds him there a little bit. And then from there does a tour that you just kept extending. Yeah. We ended up doing like 150 shows.

Really? Yeah. Were you on it for the whole tour? Whole tour. No shit. I didn't do, I got bumped by Chappelle at Madison Square Garden. I got bumped by...

Kevin Hart. Well, Kevin Hart did, Kevin Hart and Chris did shows together. Okay. So they did arenas in New York, and I did three of those, and then I got bumped off of the last two. Barclays in Brooklyn, I got bumped off of also. And then other than that, though, did all the shows.

I got bumped out of Liverpool. Oh, you did? Yeah. Because Jeff Ross, they booked Jeff ross as well you can only have one angry white guy yes so um i don't know if i'd call jeff an angry white guy yeah you get angry when you watch jeff ross but he's not he's not angry i should say insulting white guy yeah yeah there you go um but yeah, otherwise, I was there. I was even there for those. But even then, for every show, Rock goes over the whole set.

Has every joke he's going to do lined up. Has them all lined up on boards. Boards in the green room? Yeah, has index cards with the jokes, tags, and he has them all lined up full. Does about an hour and 45 per show. No shit. Yeah.

And then. Does he look at anything on stage? He has a prompter that just kind of gives him like where he's at, bullet points, yeah. And then he'll get done with the show and then we'll go over what did really well what wording worked better no shit every show and then we'll do that for like 30 minutes after the show and then that's just kind of like a preparation so that the next day before our next show when we we do an hour of talking about it, we already kind of know where we're...

And it's just you and him? It's him and Matt Claybrooks and myself. Yeah. And then if he has like a writer. But it's Matt and I for all the shows and then he brought in Frank and a couple other guys for probably five or six shows. That really makes you feel like an underachiever, doesn't it?

Oh, man. When I first watched the process i'm thinking about like what a jackass i am yeah i'm like just hanging out not doing shit before my set right not even thinking about it and then i mean he has a bit if it doesn't work it comes out and then there's a new bit that gets put in yeah and then it's just literally working it out once you once he knows basically like an hour and 20 that he wants to do and have cut down into the hour yeah then it's just placement right and then it's doing that and every show trying all right what if we put this here uh-huh this bit isn't going to work but i like this idea can we put that in something else

right and then i mean there couldn't have been a better class for like how to make a special if i ever special yeah like if i ever decided like i'm gonna write jokes and do one that's like i know how to do it i guess yeah if given that opportunity but wow that's intense yeah and then dave's just like you know what do 45 i'm not going to be there for another 30 minutes you're like what there's 18 000 people here all right rick you're gonna do 30 up top and then we'll have uh brandon do uh 20 and then if they're still not here, you'll go do another 20. No shit. Yeah.

Damn. We were in St. Louis, and Dave was flying in for the show from Ohio, and he just kept getting delayed and delayed. So I went up first, and they had me do 20. And then Donnell Rawlings went up and crushed for like 25. And then, um, it's someone else.

I can't remember the next person was, and then they were just like, all right, rock's going to go up and then he'll do a little longer. So then rock went up and he did like an hour and a half. And on the double shows, they each do an hour. Yeah.

So rock stretches, it does an hour and a half and then gets off, and then they're just like, well, Dave's almost landing, so you got 20 more in you? And I was like, really? I'm going to go up after Rock did an hour and a half? No shit. So then I just had to go back out in St. Louis at the hockey arena.

15,000 people. And just do another fucking 20 minutes and so i walked out there and like everyone had already there was already rumors that dave wasn't showing up so when i started walking out it was like oh and i and i will say i crushed you did so like my first set was so good i'm like all right you know what this could be all right but it was definitely just like fuck no this guy is definitely coming to give us bad news yeah and uh so i just went out i got i hate to do this uh i could tell a lot of you guys already know what's happening but i guess because of the liberals there's a diversity requirement and so they have to have at least 15 more minutes of white comedy tonight and And then everyone started kind of laughing.

Yeah. And I just immediately started heart attacking the same person I had finished attacking. Like I had a vendetta. Yeah. I'm glad I get the chance because this pervert. Oh, that's amazing. And then, yeah, then I just kept going. And then eventually on the monitor, they flashed up, Dave's here.

And I just went, all right, have a good night, everybody. Let's keep the show going. And then eventually on the monitor, they flashed up, Dave's here. And I just went, all right, have a good night, everybody. Let's keep the show going. And then how long did he do? And then Dave did like 45. So it was like a three-hour show. I mean, yeah, the show started at 8 and it probably ended at 1230. Yeah. I mean, it was four something.

Damn. And Dave showed up and he walked straight in, walked right on stage in the middle of an arena he's like hey sorry i'm late and everyone's like yeah yeah and then dave's crowd is just basically like a dave chappelle support group they just love him right and so um yeah then he just he goes right into it he's got a drink and a cigarette and everyone's on board yeah no one cares that some white guy they don't know has wasted an hour of their Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle night.

Right, right. And then when they get off stage, is Chris off to his hotel and Dave's hanging out with his posse all night? Kind of. With Chris, basically we'll go get some amazing dinner somewhere. We'll sit around and eat steak or fish or whatever it is. And you just hang out for an hour like responsible adults.

And everyone kind of goes to bed. And then with Dave, the party just doesn't stop. Doesn't stop. Like we went to Charlotte. I went to Raleigh and Charlotte with Dave, and I flew in day of, did Raleigh. We flew from Raleigh to Charlotte at, like, 1 in the morning. We got there, and we all got in our cars,

and we started driving to the hotel. And then the tour manager was like, so everyone's hotel rooms are waiting for them. Dave wants Rick to meet them at the bar. And then everyone kind of laughs. And I'm just like, eh, it's funny. You you know they like to tease me a little bit whatever and then my phone starts ringing i'm like oh no i look down it's dave and i'm like what's up dave and he's like rick ingram we're not hanging out with those nerds meet me at the beer bar i'm just like

all right and then so i meet dave at like 145 closing is 15 minutes, at a beer garden in Charlotte. And I walk in and he's just like, I paid him. We're keeping the club open. And then it's just me and Dave and like three waitresses and two dudes who were just at the bar trying to close it down. And he's like, you guys know Rick Ingram?

And I'm just like, why would they know me? The guy's like, no. And then we just sat there. Dave brought in a party. He made one of the tour assistants bring like speakers. No shit. He basically threw a party for like six of us for four hours at a beer garden in Charlotte. No way.

And I'm just like, all right. Damn. And now do you still drink? I'll drink sometimes. Yeah. I'm on the road. I don't drink at home. You used to drink hard just like, all right. Damn. And now do you still drink? I'll drink sometimes. Yeah. I'm on the road. I don't drink at home. You used to drink hard though, right?

Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When I was young, when I was in my twenties, I lived like two blocks from the comedy store because I didn't want to get a DUI. Right. But, um, yeah. Damn.

Yeah. It was, uh. It's amazing what Chappelle is capable of. I mean, just hanging out with him at the store, I just see, like, these guys, they smoke joints the way people smoke cigarettes and drink bottles and bottles, and yet they never seem that fucked up.

No, Dave can handle himself really well. It really is impressive. It's amazing. I'm just like okay and then walk on stage and be prolific and on point yeah and reset and i do remember it's been a long time since i've performed even with a drink yeah but i do remember being drunk and then the adrenaline kind of taking over more than the drunkenness. Yeah. Because I only remember one time where I was definitely too drunk to be on stage. Right.

And I only know because I got off stage and Pauly was like, dude, you're drinking too much. I'm like, that's not a good time. Yeah. But, yeah, I mean, you know, he goes to the gym and he, he gets some sort of IVs and he does all the stuff that rich people can afford to do, I guess. Right. Um, no, you can do, you can throw money at a hangover for sure. You know, I see, you know, when you do Rogan's show, you've done Rogan's show, right? No, no, that's weird. You go on and there's a nurse practitioner and you want a vitamin D shot, all this healthy shit before you go on.

And all of a sudden you got all this energy. You're sitting there for three hours, so you kind of need a little boost. Sure. But it's all legal. It's just like, what do you need? Right. I remember he was throwing out uh private nurses during covid

oh that's right when comics people were like got sick and we still all thought we were gonna die if you get it automatically he'd send people to your house yeah he was i remember because everyone was really mad like society was really angry at him at the time and in my mind i'm like right he's really paying a lot of money to keep his friends going so he's the best dude he gets i mean he's always been a good guy yeah it is funny how much people hate him though well i think it's like in anything with politics they look for a whipping person you know and i think uh you know on the left you've got obviously sean penn is kind of uh you know the south park guys like to fucking go after him. But Amy Schumer, who is a really smart, funny, nice person, she gets a ton of shit because she's outspoken on the left.

And then on the right, you've got Greg Gutfeld, who, I mean, his comedic talent really gets overshadowed by just the random hatred that that he's not funny that's not fair yeah i mean i i honestly had never heard of the guy until he got that fox show and i watch it and it is incredibly terrible yeah but i just don't i don't understand what they think they're doing yes it feels like a production fail yes like i i don't care about that guy either way but it just feels like it's like uh they're trying to present public access that's what it feels like yeah the camera works bad the lighting is bad it just seems like very amateurish yeah just like it's like there's podcasts that are produced at such a higher level meanwhile they're getting better ratings than any of the late night shows did you know that no i had no idea they're killing everybody that's hilarious and so uh and it's

amazing because it's not like i don't dig funny right-wing comedy like tough crowd with colin quinn was a bunch of really fucking nick dipolo yeah i love nick dipolo hilarious i don't agree with anything he says but he's fucking great yeah but these guys they don't even pick funny people no no i mean i mean who but no one wants to take risks to be funny. Yeah, right. But I mean, like, is Gutfeld, he's up against late night? Yeah, I don't know the time frame, but he's, you know, he's beating Fallon, he's beating Kimmel.

That makes sense to me, though. Yeah. I don't think people realize the actual market of America. Right. Like, they're not looking to watch Jimmy Fallon fan boy. Yeah. Just like any celebrity.

Like, Oh my God, you have so many fans on Tik TOK. That's so great. Yeah. Yeah. I know. All right,

listen, it's time for fastballs with fits. This is where I ask you some questions and you answer them. Um, have you ever saved somebody's life? No. I had about eight years ago, I lived in Sherman Oaks and I had a older couple that lived in the building and they lived down the street from me and they would sometimes call me because they knew I was home asking if I would like could I bring them ice or something like that so I would and then when you're old it's

almost like there's a hurricane going on all the time all the time and so it literally be like Harold and I were about to make cocktails and we don't our ice machines broken and I'll bring you guys some ice and it literally just became because I was home because I was a comedian and so one morning my phone rings and I look down and I'm like, oh man. And I answer and she's like, Harold fell. Could you please come help me get him back in bed? And I'm like, oh, okay. So I went, walked down there and I walk in and this is clearly not a he just fell situation.

And I'm like, did you call the authorities and she's like no he doesn't want me to and he's like and i'm like i don't think i'm the right guy for this job and she's like just put him on the bed he's foaming at the mouth he's like a 200 and something pound old man i'm like how am i gonna get him on the bed yeah's foaming at the mouth he's like a 200 and something pound old man i'm like how am i gonna get him on the bed yeah so i go we need to call an ambulance and it's oh fine i'll call him i'm just like all right so i walk out because i want to call because i'm like i don't know if this lady's actually going to call him so i call an ambulance and they come and by the time they get there it's getting worse and they

like have them on the cart and they're walking out and his eyes are all like fucked up even more and i'm just like oh man and then uh i saw the wife two days later and she's like well he's dead no and i'm like in my mind i'm like i go when did he fall out of bed she goes in the middle of the night i just waited to when I thought you'd be awake. No. And in my mind, all I thought was, why on earth would I ever be the go-to for anything? Let alone this. She waited it out?

Because I brought you ice for your fucking martinis? You laid on the ground? Oh, my God. And then I just felt like the worst human for like a week. She killed him. You didn't do anything. Yeah, but I instilled so much belief in this lady. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you're the opposite of saving a life. No, I'm opposite. You're kind of responsible for it. Was it Harold? It was Harold, yeah. Harold being gone now. Yeah. I saw a pro wrestler die, too.

You did? Yeah. During a match? Yeah, Owen Hart at a pay-per-view in 1999. You were in the audience. being gone now yeah i saw a pro wrestler die too so you did during a match yeah owen hart at a pay-per-view in 1999 you were in the audience i was yeah i was about 20 rows from embarrassing yeah yeah it felt felt good yeah um yeah it was the last time i watched pro wrestling what was the move that killed him he uh he was supposed to lower in from the ceiling and he pulled his safety cord and fell 90 feet and uh his organs detached when

he hit the ring so that was an awkward one but what was the sound like it was like well he was wrestling a pimp uh-huh so the pimp was making his entrance down to the ring with the hose his name is the godfather So they're introducing the Godfather and the music's like, and then the body just fell in the middle of the ring. We saw, you could only see the body

from the bottom of the Jumbotron down. Yeah, yeah. But he smacks into the ring and then the body flops up and then it kind of flops back down and then everyone's like, holy shit. And then everyone with a kid starts heading for the exit. And then everyone who doesn't have a kid is just like,

wait, what's happening? And he was in a mask. And part of the gimmick was sometimes when they take the mask off, it was Owen Hart and sometimes it wasn't. Oh, so nobody knew. We didn't know. And then the most fucked up human response that i've ever witnessed people started just going i hope that's not owen oh yeah as if

it's so much better if that's just like some jobber wrestler right um and then but i mean pretty quick like within 10 seconds jerry lawler was in the ring just screaming the top of his lungs to where you were like, oh, this is fucked. And then he bled, basically internally bled out in the ring. Yeah, that's a mic spike. You don't go back to wrestling after that. You're not going to beat that. You're not going to beat that. And I'll give

Vince McMahon this as a businessman. He knew that the show must go on that night and you don't stop a pay-per-view just because someone just died in the ring they kept going kept going if he doesn't provide the main event then he has to give the money back so all these wrestlers just had to go out and and they knew he was that oh yeah we didn't know they didn't tell us but the backstage they knew and uh yeah it was the final main event was stone

cold and the undertaker and these assholes played the fucking undertaker's music this dude walked down like after his buddy fucking died that's dark and they they they clearly had worked it out obviously like this is bullshit because they just did a uh shane mcvann got down on all fours and undertaker pushed stone cold down and pinned them and then they all just walked out together. Fuck this. But at that point everyone was just like, okay, damn.

Yeah. So I see people die. I never save anyone. That's on the record. All right. Listen, this is a great podcast. Thanks man.

Thanks for having me. Thanks for being here. Great shirt. Thank you. This is one of my favorites. I, uh, it's kind of a plum, a and plum that i yeah it's uh autumnal tones and it really works with i think your skin tone thank you yeah um if you want to see rick come down to the comedy store he's there what are there three or four nights a week yeah usually so if you go to the website the comedy store website you can check on tuesdays the

schedule comes out and uh thanks for doing this man yeah thanks for having me yeah i can't believe this is the first time on the show let's do it again i'm down anytime okay cool thanks man you