Fitzdog Radio - Rob Corddry - Episode 1120

Episode Date: December 17, 2025

From The Daily Show, Children’s Hospital and Old School, my pal Rob Corddry stops by and makes me laugh. Tempo is offering my listeners 60% OFF your first box! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://TempoMeals.com/FITZDOG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Rob Corddry on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@rob_corddry Watch my special "You Know Me" on YouTube! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/FitzYouKnowMe⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@GREGFITZSHOW⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@GREGFITZSIMMONS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FITZDOG.COM⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Maybe it's just a phase you're going through. You'll get over it. I can't help you with that. The next appointment is in six months. You're not alone. Finding mental health support shouldn't leave you feeling more lost. At CAMH, we know how frustrating it can be trying to access care. We're working to build a future where the path to support is clear,

and every step forward feels like progress. Not another wrong turn. Visit camh.ca to help us forge a better path for mental health care. Hi, welcome to Fitzdog Radio. It is coming up on the holidays, get your shop and done. Do it. We just exchanged presents early because my family is in the air right now going to South Africa while I stay behind. Going to New York tomorrow for two weeks.

taking care of my mother-in-law's boyfriend. He can't travel. So I'm babysitting him. I'm babysitting. I'm hanging out with him. He's a great man, and I'm excited to spend time with him. But he doesn't get around like he used to. Anyway, so I'm in L.A. right now, and I'm alone in the house, which is very rare.

Usually I'm the one that's gone, and everybody else is here missing me. plotting against me and now I'm alone just sitting I tried to not do too much I'm trying to just sit you know I meditated I did some reading and I'm realizing that I miss my wife a lot and I here's think about my wife she's a very sweet kind, caring, intelligent person. Not funny. My wife's not funny. Now, she knows not, even our tastes in comedy are different.

But it's very rare that you meet somebody who says that their spouse is not funny. It's almost like they're afraid to admit it, like, especially women with their husbands. Like, the husband's got to be funny. He's got to be. You know, it's like a vow that you take. And, you know what? Trying to be funny is very, very different than being funny, people. You know, like Hitler.

I bet Ava Braun, you say, you know, Ah, Zafior has got a great sense of humor. Oh, yeah. Oh, we laugh, and we laugh, and we laugh, and we kill and some will love we kill and laugh Zephyra So yeah

So I stayed home There was a comedy club party tonight I haven't gone to any of the comedy club parties I haven't gone to a couple other party I don't I don't like the parties I don't like not remembering people's faces and names and then I like to call people the next day that went to the party and find out if it sucked.

And when it did, which is almost always, I feel so happy. I rejoice that the party sucked and I missed it. I didn't have to experience a bad party. I almost feel like I'd prefer to miss a bad party more than I would enjoy. attending a really good party. Does that make sense? I feel like there's just one of the greatest feelings

in the world is just relief. It's the relief of it all. Anyway, it's late at night when I'm recording this. So I hope I don't seem tired.

I meant to do this earlier today. Just got back from the punchline in San Francisco. I always get around about like my two favorite clubs. It's my second favorite club in the country. I think just between us, San Francisco Punchline is my favorite club in the country. It's really extraordinary. It's so unique.

The vibe, the people that come out are just have great energy. They're up for anything. They're not woke. Everybody thinks San Francisco is so woke. Not the punchline. you could talk about some dark shit and they go with it and physically the room is great the staff is great it's been my favorite room and i know this is breaking news because i always say my second favorite room of the country but this truly is i think my favorite room in the country

and it has been for 25 years i come up with so much new material i was talking about how uh San Francisco is, it's all, the only people working anymore are the people that are training the AI to take their jobs over next year and become part of the home. Why is there so many homeless? Because you trained your job away. And the next step will be the homeless, training the bots to be homeless bots. They'll be like a hobo app. And you can, you know, you can get, you can get two of them to fight for a pack of Marlboros or a squeegee, your windshield, and you'll just tap your credit card on the chest of the bot, and the money will go directly to Bezos yacht somewhere. I hung out with Louis C.K. He was in town doing a book signing, so we wandered around the city

for like four hours and just had such a blast. Went to eat at a, he wanted to go to like a great sushi restaurant. So, of course, we go in and I order. a ton like way more than I would normally order but I know he's paying it because he's rich and then the bill came and then it just sat there and I looked at him and he looked at me and I'm like do you want some money for that and he's like no I got it I go well why'd you take so long he goes because you ordered a lot of fucking sushi a lot I said all right point taken work with a great comic

Nicole Buchanan who's a comedy store comic you're going to hear big thanks from her she did a great sets all weekend I took her to the City Lights bookstore which is my favorite bookstore in the world it's where all the beat poets came up Ginsburg and Kerouac

and I bought her carouac but on the road I got her on the road I got her on the road. She'd never read it. Everyone's got to read it. It's filled with just great magic, power. The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones that are mad to live,

mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time. The ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, burn. like fabulous yellow Roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle

you see the blue center light pop and everybody goes, oh. That's on the road. Speaking of which, I'll be on the road in Rutherford, New Jersey at bananas,

December 26th and 27th. Come escape your families. Cleveland, is January 8th through 10th, Atlanta Punchline, January 15 through 17, and then Austin at the mothership, Sacramento, Philly, Lexington, Houston, Fort Worth. Come visit me. Go to Fitzdog.com, get some tickets and hang out. The other thing I want to talk to you guys about is during this holiday when things get crazy and maybe you're trying to get your Christmas cards done or you're trying to pack and get out of town, you're not going to eat right. You're not going to prep meals. You're not going to

eat healthy and you're not going to eat well. That's why I reach for tempo, balance, fresh meals that are good for you. They taste great. Ready in minutes. Don't skip meals. I just got this the enchilada beef bowl in a couple minutes. It's ready and it's like as good as I would get in any Mexican restaurant, the Southern Mushroom Gravy Chicken. They've got so many, how many different recipes? They have like 20 new recipes every week, nutrient-rich ingredients. You can get dietitian-approved, perfectly proportioned lunch, dinner. Real food, real fast.

You can get protein-packed meals with up to 30 grams. of protein, calorie conscious, carb conscious, even fiber rich. Look, I know these food delivery services have been around for a while, but Tempo brings together the best of all the worlds. The craftsmanship of the food is at another level, the simplicity of it, and the website is great. For a limited time, Tempo is offering my customers 60% off your first box. Go to TempoMeals.com.com.com com slash fits dog that's tempomeals.com slash fitzdog for 60% off your first box. Tempomeels.com slash fitzdog rules and restrictions may apply. So be careful about those rules and restrictions. My guest today is a good buddy. I would put him, he is the punchline of comedy clubs as

his guests go to my show. He is just one of the best. And he came through once again last week when we talked, you know him from the Daily Show. You know him from the Heartbreak Kid, old school, Blades of Glory, semi-pro, failure to launch. Harold and Kumar escaped from Guantanot, whatever, Hot Tub Time Machine. He was on Curb in a very famous episode, he played a sex offender, arrested development, he created Children's Hospital. I mean, does he even need, do you need an intro for a guy like this? One of the funniest guys alive and just a good spirit of Boston, Mick, and I love him. Here's my talk with the great Rob Cordry. My guest, Rob Cordry is, I mean, look, here's a thing.

Yeah, lay down. You could put lipstick on a pig. You could put a hat on an Irishman. Still an Irishman. Yeah, I'm, this is good because I don't know what kind of UV rating these lights have. That's right. And you and I are bald gentlemen. That's the only reason I was wearing.

I ever wear a hat anyway is because of errant rays. I wear, actually, I wear bucket hats pretty much 90% of the time. I got that thing now on the top of the ears where the skin is hard. And then look at my neck. It looks like it was microwaved. Yeah, I'm getting that too. I'm getting that too. You know, it's like, I didn't know when I was young, I enjoyed the sun.

I've been out of here for 25 years. I really love being outside, and I just, I didn't think. You see, I didn't like, I don't care for the sun. No? I don't give a shit about the sun. And then we moved to L.A. And I was like, this place is great. The one thing, one complaint I have is the sun.

And, like, I would be, I ruined, like, this side of my face because I, I never, wore sun. Did you ever wear sunscreen on the East Coast? No. If you weren't at the beach? Never. No, of course not. No. It wasn't even a thing.

And so I spent the first year in L.A. not wearing sunscreen. Yeah. And I was like, this half of my face looked, you know, ruined. From the car? Woman. Yeah, from the, from the sun beating down into my window. So you were, yeah, that's actually. I've since had it fixed

I've had a lot of work done Yeah A lot of work done Yeah And you got the The nose was not fixed The nose I'm keeping Just for a bit

Did you ever break your nose It looks a little crooked No no No It's my grandmother's nose So fuck you man Did she have a little bit Of a crooked nose?

I don't know It's just got a little bit of a bend to it I don't love my, I got really big nostrils. Yeah. I got that going for me. I think that's not a bad. Look, I got the gap between the teeth. I think as an actor, you want to have something, right?

My wife is doing Envisaline or she just finished. And her teeth look perfect. Did they before? Yes. Oh, they were already perfect. There was one tooth that was a little cockyed, right? So she fixed that. And now she's like, she got them off.

And there's, from what she tells me, there's tiny little gaps in a couple of the front teeth on the bottom. Uh-huh. And I'm just like, I just nod, and I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So she's like, so I'm, I got another year at least with the retainers. Gotta get rid of that. I was like, yeah, man. She's like on the, on a mission to perfect everything about her.

But that's what you, as a husband, should be concerned about. Why are you upgrading? I'm not upgrading. are you are you on the market i don't know yeah i've got this like um yeah like you haven't complained about her teeth no i complain about nothing yes she's a very pretty woman i met your wife she flashed she was on a party bus one time and she flashed her tits to her cars that were driving by yeah yeah she's one of the good ones she's fun but um uh uh she i never uh i never considered that yeah if you could change one thing about your wife what would it be um she doesn't listen to honestly i know i know she

doesn't um i'm gonna try and answer this honestly um what would i change you know what what i've i'll tell her this to her face she thinks she's a great storyteller and she does have good stories with a solid beginning, middle, and end. Yeah. But there's a lot of fat in there that can be trimmed. Like, there's a great story in there. Like, you've got to know it's January 11th, no 12th. And it was like two in the afternoon.

And so, you know, the whole, and then she will repeat some detail of the story three or four times. Yeah. So by the time you get to the end of the story, I have ADHD. I've forgotten the beginning of the story. I'm totally lost. She thinks I don't listen to her. I think that's true for a lot of wives.

I think wives are very caught up in the truth in a story. Yes. And I think we're caught up in the narrative. Yeah, we're caught up in the narrative. Right. You know what? And a little exaggeration, a little hyperbole. Sure.

My stories get better every year. A little high. Exactly right. Exactly right. I've just come to realize that a lot of my stories are not a lot, but there's a good handful of my stories are not my stories. Really?

There was a friend in college who I hung out with all the time and he would tell this story all the time and I would tell this story to people that happened to my friend and then it just became my story. Like I can picture it. I have a picture in my head

of these certain stories and I'll be telling the story, be like, yeah, so we're on the Staten Island ferry and these guys, these two homeless guys, They're singing hauling oats, right? And they get to the, wait a minute, this is not my story. I wasn't there. Holy shit, that's Mike's story.

So my friend Mike. I wonder if the homeless guys were like, no, I'm Hall. Well, no, what it was, it wasn't Hall and Oates. It was easy like Sunday morning. Oh, yeah, sure. And so one guy, and of course, again, this is Mike's story. Yeah. But I feel like somehow it's mine.

One of the guys Lionel Richie Yeah Lionel Richie There you go Well I'm easy And the other guy did the Uh Okay

And the guy That was doing the verse Kept trying to end it Like he'd be like Easy like Sunday Morning And the guy would go And this guy was getting

So annoyed And I can see Both of these dudes I can see one has dreads. Okay, right. I could see him. Yeah, yeah. And meanwhile, it's the Staten Island Ferry.

You got a lot of time to kill. You can definitely go seven, eight, nine verses on that. You can do it. They did it the whole way there, apparently. Do you ever conflate stories? I've done that where, like, I've gotten a massage, and something happened, and then I got a massage another time, and I take the two good parts, and I make them one story. time and that's the problem with telling a story around my wife because listen i mean sure if we're

conflating these stories they're still probably going to be good stories we're professionals right and um and my wife will go no no no no no that's not how it happened i'm like oh the fact checker the fact checker and she's always right yeah she's always right and not only is she right not only is she cock block in the flow of the story you look like a liar yes we have had this argument for 25 years of our marriage we've we've argued about whether it's okay to inject hyperbole into a story or whether it has to be a factual to the letter right I mean both sides have their their and I do think a little interplay with those two things can be fun yeah but not when the the fact person has to be aware that

You're in the zone. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you've got to let me take back over again. Once you correct my whatever it was raining, not misting, you know, once you correct me, like, let me, like, throw it back. Throw it back and don't stop me like this. No, no, no, no. That's exactly what happens.

You know, just a little. That's exactly what happens. You're stepping in and go, no, I think it was. But now the more we talk about it, the more I would not change that about her. Yeah. It's kind of charming, in a way. I do, like, at first, I would get kind of, I don't know, not embarrassed, but, like, worried that she was boring people, and she never is. She never is.

She's very, like, looks people in the eye. She's tastefully tactile. She, like, reach out an arm. Yeah, she'll reach out an arm to, like, a shoulder. She'll include everyone. Randy Sclar says, like, Sandy does the box. She'll create the perimeter. Everybody's included.

She'll gather people in. And just by the power of that and her personality alone, the story is engaging. But it's like interminable. Is she Irish? No, no. She's a Hungarian Jew. I mean, Irish know how to tell stories.

My wife's a Jew. Jews are litigators. Can we cut that out? But if you're talking to the sclars, you always have to create a perimeter, because there's always four of them, them and their wives. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When did you first get to know who was Jason and who's Randy and telling you different? Okay, yeah, that's a good, that's a good question. When I was, I came, you know, in comedy, doing comedy in New York. Because your kids went to school together. Yes, that's when I learned. That's when I learned.

I mean, I knew them in New York, you know, we were just acquaintances, but I liked them. I thought they were funny. And then, and just so happened, yeah, kids were going to the same school. Not Jason's, Randy's. So I had more contact with Randy. Yep. And when, so now I have no problem, no problem telling them apart. Randy wears glasses.

you know what see they they both they fuck with people because they both yeah they'll sometimes be like i'm the facial hair guy for a while and then get rid of the facial hair randy was a facial hair randy had the i used to think randy round because he had round facial why you really had to think about it huh yeah well i've known them as long as you have i go back to new york with them too i'll see jason just randomly uh at a store or something and he'll be like hey cordy what's going on it's jason Yeah, I love when they do that. Like, they're always like just taking care of people. Right, right.

You know? It is amazing that they are not affronted by it at all. When I see people get it wrong. And they, it really, there's something amorphous about being a twin where you can just accept that, you know, we're fucking identical twins who dress the same. Yeah. Who wear our hair the same. We do the same job. They do the same jokes.

The same act. they got the same hour god bless them they fucking earn half as much money as i know you know we're working the same gigs i know what i know they're making half it i know so they work twice as hard they do episodes of tv shows they do commercials they do well with their podcasts like they bust their ass they bust their ass yeah i have a lot of respect for them they do a lot They keep a good humor about it. Well, you know, do you know the story about when they were born? No.

See, I was there. I can tell this story. I remember. I can picture it. I can picture it in my head. They had a, one had a, they had different, like, color-coded clips on their diapers or something to clip their diapers. And, you know, the mother was just very cautious about those clips because that's how

she told them apart. And then the dad one day changed the diapers and used regular clips. He didn't use the colored clips. And she freaked out and she was like, which one's Randy and which one's Jason? And he goes, what are you talking about? That's Randy, that's Jason. And they're just identical looking blobs, not even fully formed humans yet. They're babies.

And of course, you know, you know that he was like, That's Jason, that's Randy. Don't worry about it. I know. You know, like, he just covered. He just took a guess. So Randy might be Jason, and Jason might be Randy. That is existential.

Yeah, it's a great story. At what point, that's the question. At what point do you assume your identity as a baby, as a human? Does it matter? Like, I can see switching babies at the hospital being an issue, but if it's the same sperm and egg, Right. At what age do you differentiate? You're always like a...

Nicotine? Yeah, you're a nicotine guy. Yeah, yeah. You're also a lip gloss guy. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I don't call it lip gloss. Is that a girl thing?

I guess you could say it does give my lips a little shine. But I don't call it lip gloss. Nobody calls it lip gloss. You know? Well, it has sparkles. It's a balm. It has sparkles. It doesn't have sparkles.

like I've been kissing strippers and eating fried chicken um no I uh yeah I've got a real um I mean if I believed anything I don't uh that that Freud said ever I would say that I have an oral fixation but I don't know I think that guy's a little Freud yeah I don't know much about it um I was uh what was I going to say about the oh yeah so nicotine yeah um i loved smoking because you know because i don't know i just love putting shit in my mouth yeah mince fucking cigarettes dick the whole deal i'll put it in i'll put it in i'll put it in do you get the same rush with nicotine with dicks oh i'm sorry this is the same feeling no you don't get like a little high when you smoke a cigarette after not smoke you go out for a long

to I have if you suck a dick. It's just like, ah, it's a dick. It's just a dick. Yeah. I know. You know. And you. I imagine that different dicks are, you know, kind of a rush.

I would say, right? Well, the best is when I'm done, I put it on the ground and I stomp on it. Nobody's ever wanted to suck a blow job for me. But I'm, I'm committed to. to a nicotine addiction for life. I mean, I think it's a fairly benign drug. Have you tried the patch? My friend's been on a patch for 20 years.

I did. It irritated my skin. Oh, okay. But I used to love it. Yeah. I used to love it. I would like, I would get a little antsy, and I didn't know why, and it's because I didn't have a patch on.

Yeah. And I put the patch on, and I swear it was like 10 minutes later, I just felt this wave of calm. And I've been chasing that buzz ever since. nothing does it well because you said you have ADHD you're essentially you're taking riddlin it's the same thing it's just a stimulus and it's another thing I take oh on top of the nicotine well no no not uh vivance yeah whatever yeah same thing you drink coffee as well oh shit yeah oh my god I drink so much I drink so much and coffee I like to go up I like up that that I never

became a cocaine addict yeah is is I'm I mean, I don't know how I dodged that bullet. Did you try it? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You enjoyed it. Ah.

I don't know. I feel like the riddlin and vivance are way better. Yeah. Well, it's more controlled. Yeah. I guess it's like, you know, we used to go to this, there was this bar in Brooklyn called Coke's. Do you remember that?

No. Oh, my God, man. It was this, it was run by retired cops, and this was in Williamsburg. And you used to go and you used to knock on the door and they'd open the door. You had to have a girl with you to get in. And so we'd go in and there was this like fluorescently lit bar with a bunch of like old people and families hanging out. And then you go into the back room and it's this huge room with picnic tables. And there's no drinks.

They don't serve drinks. You go to this little old phone booth in the corner. Yeah. And they've cut a hole through the wall into the phone booth. Uh-huh. And you would just give them a 20, you give them 20, and they'd give you a little bag of Coke. Like a glory hole for Coke. Yes.

No kidding. This was called Cokeys. That's crazy. The Coke was awful. It was awful. I mean, but great in that it mirrored my ADHD medication. Yeah, it was all speed. It was all speed.

You felt like a million bucks for about. 15 minutes and then you were like uh-oh yeah you know yeah when we were kids we would drive uh i lived about 15 minutes from the bronx and we would drive down to the projects and we would buy coke sure and these motherfuckers saw uh in a station wagon you know seven white kids pile of yeah yeah yeah singles uh and it was just vitamin b12 we we had plenty of vitamin b12 of his teenagers. Yeah. We were shocked up on you.

He's so chock full of B complex. I once worked with a guy who was recovering addict, and he was like, he was really a new health as those recovering addicts get turned out to be. And he was like, oh, you should try my vitamins. I was like, oh, okay, let me try them. And he was like, yeah, my guy makes these. They're like proprietary. And I took them, me and the other guy in the movie took him and took, there's like five or six of them,

different, do different things, apparently. And we took them. And 20 minutes later, I don't know why I'm feeling fantastic. But the other guy in the movie comes up to me and he's like, dude, this is speed. He gave us speed and he's sweating. He does not like it. He likes to go down, not go up. Right.

Going up, I don't know what it is because I have ADHD. I've been taking Ritalin for 20-something years every day. Well, I did it every day for 20 years and now the last four or five I take it maybe like three days a week. It made me a little sweaty. It made me crash around 4 o'clock. So what I started doing is I'd go to the gym every day. Every day that I take out, I'd go to the gym around 4 o'clock. And if I work out, I don't crash.

Oh, yeah? I come right out of it. yeah oh wow but what is it about stimulants that make ADHD um neutralized i do not know i think it has something to do with your nervous system is set baseline too low it's almost like in a car if uh your transmission isn't isn't um shifting down enough you know when you're on the low end of the gear and it's just kind of you get no response yeah and so i think it's like downshifting and it just gets you racing up more and then physically and and mentally you sink up yeah that makes sense although like one of the one of the like i guess symptoms of ADHD is that you know

your brain is just constantly moving right it's constantly that's that's the thing that it sort of focuses. But what's weird is when we take, when people with ADHD take stimulants, it calms us down. Yeah. It doesn't jack us up. That's what did. When I went for the first time to the doctor, I go, how will I know if these pills are working issues?

If I have ADHD, she goes, you're going to take these pills. And if you get jacked up and crazy, you have ADHD. Yeah. And I was like, yeah. It was like putting glasses on. I mean, I know that's sort of a cliche, but I, when I, I'm newly diagnosed, too. No, no kidding. I've been self-diagnosed for years.

Sounds like it, yeah. And so finally my doctor was like, all right, shut up. Well, let's do the test. Yeah. And he started giving me the test, and I was answering it. And I thought I was doing really well. I was like, I'm killing this test. Oh, my God, what does that mean?

As he's asking me these questions, what does this mean? Like, if I'm not ADD, I must be stupid. Maybe I'm stupid. And I started panicking, and I was just like, God, damn it. Oh, maybe I'll get this one wrong. No, I'm sure I aced that one too. And he finished the test and he goes, well, you're obviously overwhelmingly ADHD.

And I was like, oh, and I told my wife this story later. And she goes, Rob, do you see what you were doing? You were getting a test for ADHD and your mind was somewhere else completely. You were thinking of, you were taking a different test. You think he was factoring that in? in his diagnosis? I don't know. It was my general.

I can't imagine he was. These were just like sometimes rarely. Yeah. Those are hard. Perhaps. Yeah. Those are hard. Yeah.

No, it's, it's a shame because I look at, I wrote a book called Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons about all the letters that were sent home when I was a kid in school. And they were almost all like he's either acting up. Yeah. He's either acting up and causing a seat. or he's asleep at his desk and it's like yeah that's ADHD like every single report says the exact same thing that you just described my life yeah so yeah um so i have a lot of questions i want to ask you all right go ahead you really are before you came in i said i think rob might be my favorite guest on my podcast you know what this is definitely my favorite podcast really yeah

oh nice yeah and i say that with all due respect to the other podcasters who can go fuck themselves Jason Ellis Fuck you, Ellis. I don't want to say that to him. I know, right? He's the real thing. Yeah. But one of the things I wanted to ask you is how was your brother, Nate?

Good. Oh, speaking of twins. Because, you know, he and I just have a really solid friendship. Do you? Don't you remember? He came on my podcast and I think he stormed out. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We get into it. Oh, I don't remember this at all. You don't remember this. No, no, no, no. He came on and you and I had been friends for years. And so then I forget how it came up that I invited him on and, or maybe he asked if he could be on. I can't even remember. But he came over when I had my studio at my house.

And I just immediately fell into Boston, Irish, ball busting. Yeah. And I'm busting Nate's balls. And he just didn't, I didn't take the first step of creating the fact. foundation. Sure, sure. I cut straight to busting balls. You started at older Cordry.

Yes. And then didn't just adjust to Cordy the younger. So what happened was he did exactly what I would have done, which is like Irish guys also don't like to be fucked with unless it's a French. Yeah, totally, totally unless there's at least some acknowledgement. So he got fucking snappy at me. and I came right back and it became a little bit of a stalemate

and then he left and there was a little bit of a Twitter feud that went on Oh fuck I don't know if I even I don't know if I was aware of this Meanwhile your brother like by all accounts Is as great of a guy as you are People love your brother

He's a great guy He's a great guy He just um I would say if anything He doesn't suffer Fools no offense you know what I mean

that should be the name of the podcast he doesn't suffer fools you know he's like that's not even a good way he's very he's got more of an edge than you he feels everything more

I have a nice little buffer yeah I think where you know one of my friends I don't know if I've told you this for but Seth Morris you know Seth he's like he's a naked naked babies yeah yeah he's from um northern california so we could not be more different right

and and one day we were at ucb performing and and he said to me i forget what i was saying i was joking around but afterwards he goes hey man you know what you can be really mean yeah i was like oh fuck i can be really mean oh wow not everybody likes this okay yeah i'm sorry i'm sorry let's start again you know no I feel like that you talked about the sunshine in California that's my complaint about California is I have never it's a little softer to get in sync with the mentality out here people still think I'm rude I do this thing whenever a kid whenever a comedian introduces me at a comedy club and this can be at the laugh factory new kid I don't know him could be I go to

Cleveland Ohio and there's a local guy that's the host ladies gentlemen this next guy he's uh blah blah blah he's been on blah blah blah please welcome greg fit simmons and then i come up and the crowd's clapping and then they shake your hand and i always go thanks faggot sometimes i've never talked to them before and so wow so i can always tell immediately like if a guy laughs i can see him laughing on his way off stage or i can see him furrowing his brow and i had this one kid at the laugh factor come up to me and i guess I've done it to him three or four times. And he comes up and he goes, hey, man, did I do something to you?

And I go, dude, we're fucking comedians. Yeah, right? The comedian, now I know there is a respect now for language that could be perceived as hateful, but a backstage, and that counts as backstage at a comedy club, the green room. yeah like the shit we've seen back there yeah it it it's horrifying yeah and and awesome like right it's just uh it's like a safe space yeah right way it's almost why it took us longer for every that everybody else to get on board with like not being able to say retard or something right still missed that one although i hear it's coming back it's making a huge comeback it started in

Austin. They're making big strides in Austin. Oh, wow. Good for them. Yeah. Good for them. Well, it's Texas. I mean, I know it's Austin, but, you know, they're the ones, I guess, to lead the charge. Well, there's a lot of, I think we're in a very interesting place politically. And I think you were a political science major in college, right? Nope. Yeah. You were. Oh. And you're starting a podcast on Jason Ellis. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It called Paul. politics now and then it's just comparing now to were you at any point in college a political science major uh and i don't even know really i don't even know if i could define political science so no well i got to say something well look at my microphone my your wikipedia page needs a it's it says a political science major political science major in college i was a journalism major before classes even started.

Oh. And then I decided like, I chose this because I like to write. Yeah. But I have no interest in journalism whatsoever. I've never read a newspaper. Just think how much money you can be making right now. Fucking journalists, man. It's teachers and journalists are kind of the backbone of society in terms of keeping

your democracy alive. Sure. And I don't know how any journalists make a living any longer. I don't know how they put up with it. either like well they're banned from the white house if you don't yeah they're banned from if you don't agree to read the the press release that they give you you can't go in the pentagon any longer and report you can't ask around and i guess like the the BBC is doing and this is not even here it the BBC was like interviewing people and if you have all right they had a story

they were doing on on um trump i believe it was trump it might have been cash patel but i think it was trump and they were like if you uh don't like don't like don't do this story yeah if you've written anything that is slightly biased toward trump or that or the maga sort of um political world you can't do the story and so it's left they're left with people that have never written politics before. They write, you know, entertainment. There's no historical context. There's no pushback.

There's no knowledge. It's transcribing what they say and handing it over. But I think we're at a really interesting place politically. And you saw it with this election that just happened where the right kind of got their asses handed to them. And you're seeing it now. Bush, Bush, Trump got booed at a football game on Sunday. But I mean, I think

But at the same time Why does he still go to football games? I know. Well, no, because he usually does very well. Oh, he does? Oh, well, he goes to UFC. He's a fucking, he's the Caesar. Oh, sure, well, sure, sure, sure.

The Caesar at the forum. But then you're also seeing the language barriers start to roll back and the emphasis on safe spaces and all that bullshit is going away. And I think something's going to emerge that is, stepping away from the fringes.

I think our society is done with the marginal voices. Good riddance. Yes. I hope you're right about that. And I'm talking about on the liberal side as well. Yeah, exactly. Progressives, you know, cause of the day guys. Cause of the day?

Cause of the day. It's like they'll just jump on because it's almost like they're professionals. I know. You know? I know. it's uh and they show that it doesn't move the needle they're celebrities endorsing stuff usually backfires yeah because it just looks like um you know it's like someone coming out of the heritage foundation with a study and you go like well what what does that mean to me it's it's

like you know so anyway i don't want to talk politics there's so many other things i want to ask you why did you think i was poly side that's on my wikipedia page huh yeah interesting Right. Go on. You, which was more meaningful to you, winning four primetime Emmys or becoming an Eagle Scout? Oh my God. Because at that age, that was probably a big fucking deal. I would have to say the Eagle Scout. The Emmys are like, it's just swirling around that whole experience is just this anxiety at awards shows.

You know, and you almost at one point don't want to win because you're like, oh, God, then I got to get up there and I got to give a speech. Yeah. It's got to be, I don't know what. I've always blow a speech. Uh-huh. I've sworn off speeches. I hope I don't win another thing in my life.

Really? Until my kids get married, I am not making a speech anywhere. I always blow it. Yeah. At a wedding? What goes wrong? I don't know. I say the wrong thing, or at least I'd say the wrong.

I don't know. I don't know. I just seem to always make people mad. Do you not make a plan or you feel like the choice you make, the choice you make in advance of bad ones? But see, the one time I had a very successful speech was at my oldest bat mitzvah. Yeah. And that's when I had like something written down and I chucked it. Yeah.

And I just talked. And it went well. Yeah. And I don't know. I don't trust myself to be able to do that so well anymore. I don't know what's changed. But like, I'm, I guess I'm just more nervous about giving speeches in general. Well, I think it's a phobia, and you maybe took the phobia on at a certain point.

Yeah, I think a light case, like a kiss, a kiss of a speech phobia. Yeah. I don't like it. You're not blown. Does anybody like it? I used to love it. And the problem is, I'm so good at it that when people die, I'm asked to give the eulogy. I was asked to give my friend Dave's eulogy.

I wasn't even that close to that guy. I played in a poker game. Of course. For years. I mean, for many years, we played together. Of course. And we were neighbors, and he was a great guy. But by no means was I the inner circle.

And then his wife asked me to give the eulogy. And I'm like, fuck. And I. know who you're asking right like dude i destroyed i almost brought him back to life the place went crazy i roasted him i roasted his asian wife like i did every because the thing is everybody needs to laugh so yeah there's no better crowd that's why the irish wake the famous irish wake that's what they want right um i've always wanted to go to one of those like uh funerals when like a celebrity comedian dies

because it's just like just as good as a roast yeah you know right um but yeah you know whose was good was uh norm McDonald's oh my god I went to his couple years ago

oh I bet Kevin Nealann who is who is also he's probably the best in the business and they always make him close really closed Gary Shanlings he closed norms no what's his what's he

what's his take on everything it's just so smart Yeah. Every word is so subtle and smart, and he never looks like he's trying. Here's the thing about comedy that I'm starting to realize as I'm doing it for 35 years. Starting. Go ahead. Is if they see you needy or sweaty, they just pull back.

Yeah. And he's the opposite of that. No, he's just in the pocket all the time. Very comfortable. Yeah. Very comfortable performer. Yeah. So when he does it, it's so minimal.

and just his, I don't know, his mind. He's just got a great comedic mind. Yeah. He's one of the most underrated stand-up kind of. Yeah, he's one of those guys like Norm, that like sort of a comedian's comedian, would you say? I think so. Yeah.

I mean, Norm was the great. He was the best. He was the best. He was the best. And it's funny because, like, people talk about Chappelle or Louis or Chris Rock and all that stuff. They're great. And they're all great.

but they're powerful they're theater performers and then you get Norm who is just he's a club guy he doesn't belong in theater he's into it he talk about telling a story

like he's got he has some great stories well I was thinking about this with great comedians it's very much about phraseology inflection it's about

whether or not this person had jokes or not, you would still be hanging on the end of your seat. Like Dave Chappelle, the way that guy smokes a cigarette alone, I'll watch it for an hour. It's entrancing. Yes. Yeah. And then on top of it, it's ballsy.

The way he prances the stage, the way he slaps the mic on his thigh, there's all these things that trap you in, and then he gives you insight, and then he gives you an un, uh, tenable positions on things and then there's a long yes exactly and then there's a long pause and he'll start to laugh and and have to sit down or something like uh yeah that it's uh and that's something it usually drives me crazy watching yeah comedians like you know kind of laughing or even giggling at i don't like indulgent comedians and i don't and as a rule i hate when comedians laugh at their own jokes yeah and i have noticed every black comic in america now slaps to my on their thigh and I'm on the record for that funny yeah funny it's crazy and they but here's what

the white comics are doing yeah they put their foot up on the monitor on stage like you know how the monitor's at the front of the stage by the front row yeah yeah sure they walk over and they'll put their foot on it and then keep talking who started that who did i'm not going to name names but it it's so like sticking your crotch in their face as if to say i'm so comfortable it's very power it's a power it's like a very self-conscious power position yeah you know it's like doing your uh the whole act with somehow with your hands on your hips like super like superman or like just in a yeah if i could do it like this and still hold the mic exactly and then you got the opposite of that of that which is the sitting on the stool guy

Like Marin knows how to work a stool He plants his feet In the mid, halfway up the stool Leans forward And it's like that takes a certain confidence And if you can The thing is people think I could never get away with that

Do it and see how it feels Because you might just draw them in In a way that you don't know It's exactly what I was saying before Because you're not needing them You're so comfortable Yeah, that's the thing Yeah

I would say like if I were If I did stand up it would like you sit on the stool if you really have to sit on the stool if you feel like this is you want to bring it down to that you know as sort of lower energy maybe or maybe you're just not feeling like a hundred percent you know and well cosby was a stool guy he was the best stool guy of all time sure yeah well he was also the best storyteller at all and got great drugs well his stories would put people right to sleep People think he was using drugs? It was the stories. It was, you know, he, oh, fuck, I don't want to go on about, go on about, you know this story, like that everybody, when all that news broke about Cosby and everybody was so shocked. Yeah. Like, everyone was shocked except for every single comedian who, every comedian who knew that he would, on his off days, would go.

down to USC with like a whistle around his neck and like kind of coach young girls, you know, running track. Yeah. And he was always like, he was, he was big mentor. It was always about mentoring people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he was, he was dirt. It was the worst kept secret in Hollywood.

Yes, yes, exactly right. Yeah, yeah. Exactly right. And, oh, God, people were so shocked. We said we were talking about Bill Cosby a couple of years ago, my wife and I. and it was something horrible, like, just about what he'd done and the details of the story. And then one of my kids came in, my youngest one,

and said, who's Bill Cosby? And my wife just went, no, no, didn't skip a beach. You went America's dad. Well, it's like them asking who OJ Simpson is, like one of the top 10 running backs in history. Yeah, right, right. Yeah. I mean, who was a actually real,

really good comedic actor. He was. He was. And it's so weird that one little thing... Just one little thing. You know? Who hasn't wanted to cut someone's head off? Every now and then, you know?

Right. He had the balls to follow through. Yeah, yeah. That's terrible. It's terrible. Off. The juice. The juice.

The juice is loose. So you did, we were talking about you being a great storyteller earlier, which just comes with being Irish. It's your fucking duty. It's my birthright. When you are Irish, it is considered like, when they always say showing up, Irish means you show up and you didn't bring a bottle of wine or bread or a lasagna. Oh, yeah, yeah.

And I always feel like if you got to bring a lasagna to a party, you're fucking dull. And is it? I feel like I'm bringing me. I'm bringing stories. Bring it the money. Yeah. And the Irish could buy, too, is. without saying goodbye. You don't need to. I love that. Yeah. I love that. So we, I, uh, I saw on your

Wikipedia page. Oh boy. This whole, I should do a podcast called Wikipedia where I just ask people friends off their Wikipedia page. Um, you did, uh, Ari Shafir's, this is not happening podcast. Yeah. So I was curious. I didn't get a chance to watch them. What were the story? You don't have to tell the whole stories, but what were roughly the stories? Oh, I probably told this story here. It's, it's, uh, I told the story about how my wife called my elderly neighbor a cunt. That's the lead to the story, or is that the... I might have led with that. I don't know.

You know, and I was doing, it was in a stand-up club with a mic and everything. Like, I was sort of doing, like, fake stand-up, like, posing like I knew stand-ups do. Like, take the mic out and, you know, do that. The whole thing. And so I was in 100% comfortable. with all that but like the story tells itself like in a nutshell like she was these these these neighbors of those like you know kind of they're old they're just old they've been living there for 50 years they're busy bodies and so they're always like they we we suspected that they turned us in for having an

over height fence oh no um and they denied it but whatever uh we got the fence taken down and it was a lot of money and then one day somebody in behind us was was was taking out one of their retaining walls and they got in touch with us and said you know you better watch out for that because um because that might you know screw up your you might have a landslide or whatever and my wife sent an email to me forwarded it to me and said or so she thought and said this proves that it was that no know-it-all-cunt who turned us in for the fence and hit sand right back to the woman. Yeah, yeah. Where is the shovel to dig yourself out of that one?

What was her move? Oh, well, like a sitcom ensued. Like we've got a half an hour to go through all the bad ideas before we get to the good one. and before we learn our lesson and they were her sister was in town I believe and her sister was like you should break in we should go they're not there

they weren't there she went right over there and they weren't there no email on the phone at that oh no no they don't know what they're doing they don't know what they're they have flip phones yeah and so yeah they're they're you know it's in there it's in that house and she was like it's gonna be easy to break in there

let's break in, delete their email. And then finally, there was a couple other bad ideas bandied about, but she settled on going over there when they got home and apologized in person, but holding our newborn baby. Oh. You know? Yes, that's a good prop. Yeah, it's really good.

Yeah, she's very, very good. Yeah. I thought it was kind of genius. So, and the woman was like, oh, no, no big deal at all. No, forget it. Forget it. Yeah. Yeah, but I didn't turn you in for that fence.

She did say that? Yep, yep, yep, yep. And how was the relationship after that? It's fine. You know, there's still those neighbors that, like, we had our backyard redone, and there's a steep staircase without, like, a railing or anything. and I took Gary back there, the guy, he's the husband, and he was looking down that staircase, and he's like legally blind, I think,

and he was like, oh, oh, boy. Like, he's, you know, he's like, you should get a railing on that right there. Oh, that step right there. I think that's uneven. That could be a lawsuit. Like, he's, he's factoring in, like, legal trouble. Yeah.

And I was like, why did I bring him? Yeah, yeah. Why did I bring you back? Well, that's the thing about, like, I'm a neighbor guy. I, we live in this pocket of Venice Beach where everybody knows each other. That's great. But, you know, but I'm a neighbor guy, and I can't fathom. And we've been so lucky with neighbors over the years.

But I can't fath. I've had a bad neighbor, like, once back in Boston. And it fucks me up so much. I can't have it. Really? Yeah. Like this guy, he was a Russian guy who lived under. underneath me i lived in brookline and he was an engineer and from russia and so every day he had

this really hot wife he used to flirt with me and every day he would have he would carpool with these other russian guys and they'd pull up out front and i'm a comedian i'm going bed at two three in the morning yeah they'd show up at 7 a.m and they'd park out front and they would honk the horn this is a very russian thing to do you know and so i spoke to him about not doing it and he just fucking blew me off And then, so then one morning they pulled up and they honked and I threw three eggs at the windshield of the car. And they started yelling at me and yelling at me. Russian guys. They never did it again.

I don't fuck with Russians, but okay, it worked. It was not a good move, but I got away with it. Oh, yeah, I don't fuck with Russians. Yeah. Yeah. That's scary. Yeah. Yeah, we've had really good luck.

We have better luck now. Like, we've got a pretty good pocket of neighbors. and I and and these these old people that they're still living there yeah they're perfectly nice you know I mean Sandy of course she uh never forgets never forgives never forgets and so there's always that little yeah voice in the back of her head going like that fence was $2,000 to take down that would that would really get me yeah but they are they're sweet they're just old people and uh yeah no that can be charming the old the old the old curmudgeonly couple can be fun yeah um i want to ask you about you i just again i went to i mdb as well i mean yes all right

does fucking jason ellis write a script and put together research the way i do when you do his podcast yeah everybody does everybody does yeah gonna go to lincoln i'm not on there you have a new show and i don't even know how new it is if it's out i'm racing home to watch it when i saw the cast called the audacity is that out no oh no it's got zach alfenacus in it and it's written by jonathan glasser yeah the guy who did succession better call saul that's insane yeah this show must be amazing it's fucking good really uh and i've i've never said that about something i've I've always had questions about whether I'm just fooling myself into thinking it's good, but this is just objectively good.

Really? Yeah, yep, yep, yep, yep. It's a great show. And you filmed it up in Vancouver? Filmed it in Vancouver all summer, and it was, yeah, it was all summer, basically. It was great. What makes Jonathan who he is in working with him? Boy, that's a great question.

He's a really funny guy. like most of us that are that are in comedy or in writing in in show business and not Irish can be awkward he you can see him fighting it he fights it yeah he's a good man and um he's just the sweetest guy in the world yeah he's he's really just this but what but are you asking me what makes yeah like if you were to like extrapolate what what is the common denominator between these shows like what is it because oh he's just he's really really smart yeah you know i don't know what his the first thing he ever wrote on was but i bet you if we looked it up and and watched it you could see like moments of brilliance in there like he's just knows

how to turn a phrase yeah you know right some of these guys have that sort of thing like you know what's his face that did the White House the West Wing Aaron Sorkin, you know, like they're just, they're good at story and dialogue. Well, it's kind of like what we were talking about with Chappelle. Like,

that line from Succession, you're not serious people. Oh. Like that landed like a fucking anvil. Yeah. And like that's what makes performance great. When you have a line like that to work with oh my god can you imagine being given that line yeah you are not serious people about your children yeah yeah and and that that was towards the end right so and he's basically

summing up what everybody's been thinking yeah exactly we thought maybe shiv was serious for a while but she's not serious yeah and the first the first half a season you think that the the autistic brother is serious. Yeah, and then Karen Culkin's like, oh, maybe he is growing up. No, he's not. No, he isn't. Yeah, yeah.

But you wonder, like, if with a guy like that, you wonder how far out he's mapping the storylines for the series. Oh, they're writing now. But is he thinking in season one, when he's writing scripts for season one, is he thinking about things that'll pay off in season three?

Yes, he's already told me, oh, I don't know about season. He's told me ideas for season two. Yeah. um and just you know basic ideas and he he admits he's like these might not work but this is what i've been thinking yeah as you know before we even shot season one uh-huh uh but they're uh and and there's like um i don't know i think there's only like a handful of other writers uh on on the audacity that were uh that were contributing in like in a room yeah and um they were all kind of

heavy hitters. I forget what they've done. It's also TV is like film as a director's medium and TV as a writer's medium. So did you feel like he was hands on with the directing as well? No, he was writing. He wasn't on set. He was writing until the very end when all the scripts were written. Yeah. He was writing. And more so than any other show I've done, like we were working on, you know how different scripts have versions. So you'll get the white one as first or shooting draft is first and then comes the white draft and then comes pink and blue and it goes all the way up to like buff and goldenrod and uh and we were working on like triple goldenrod yeah you know and so they were they were always in it um so no he just hired directors that he really trusted and

let them do it and had you worked with uh zach before oh yeah yeah i've worked with Zach a couple times. We did this movie that no one has seen, not even my dad, and I don't even remember what it was called. Get out of here. Yeah. Because they changed the name from what it was when we were shooting. So, so it's, but it's really, I love it. It's like about a bunch of assassins and, and he was great, man. He's such a good actor. Yeah. You know, and we were, when it was just he and I, because we had a lot of scenes together, we'd be like, he was like, you know, this is so much easier than comedy.

And I was like, yeah, yeah, it's great. It's great. He's like, I don't even know why we did comedy. This is so much easier. Yeah, that's funny. And you don't realize until you're in it. Yeah, right. You're in a drama how you've been swinging three bats

in the batters box for years. And you're stepping up to the plate finally with one. It's great. because with comedy you have to carry the drama and then you've got to add the timing and all these other things. Yeah, and there's 10 different ways to time a joke, you know, and...

Ratcheting up the character more. Wow, that's interesting. Yeah. So, yeah, he was great to have him there, and there was a lot of good people in that. A lot of cute girls on it, I noticed. Oh, I didn't notice. My wife listens to this podcast.

You did Shakespeare. Sure. How did you access that barrier in language and make it feel organic? As a English major, I was an English major first in college, and then I got into the theater department as well, so I was a double major, and I decided to focus my English. major on British drama strictly like modern ancient old

you know like and and it was just it was a lot of Shakespeare so I was reading it all the time and I liked it I appreciated the stories once I got

once see the thing about Shakespeare is he says things five or six times because you know back in his day he was he was playing they were playing to rabble

you know these like guys that were just talking having a conversation and drinking mead and every once in a while they look up at the stage and then they'd catch the point because he's already made it five times like you know that's interesting yeah yeah yeah so

a lot of like Shakespeare's cut these days like that's the stuff that you that you cut I think I remember hearing that the, what was the famous theater that Shakespeare Straffron, Ava, or the Globe, and that the, yeah, the riffraff sat in the front. Yeah. And then if you had money, you sat up in the boxes. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah. That's right. So that's who you're playing to. You're playing to the criminals, basically. Hilarious. Yeah. But, no, I was an English major in college, and I took every Shakespeare course. that was offered.

So did you pen it, did it get in there? Did you, did you like get around it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you know what I mean. Yeah, you get it, you find the rhythm of it. Yeah. And also you got the left, you got the left page, you know. Sure.

There was always the right page was the play, and the left side was the. A lot of margins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then once you crack that, and I had this amazing teacher who taught a lot of those classes, Professor Simone shout out, this dude would get on his death, on his desk and do soliloquies. He was into it. He was so passionate about it. That's the best.

Yeah, and then when I was in New York, we'd go see Shakespeare in the park all the time, which is there's no better way to do that. Oh, my God. That's probably the only theater I'd have any interest in doing anymore. Oh, you want to perform there? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I've seen it a bunch. And it's always great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's impossible to get into anymore. Oh, to get into a show? You got to show up at like 6.30 in the morning. and get online and god i haven't been there in so long yeah to new york all right i don't know um all right let's do fastballs with fits okay watch this watch this

you have to do it in shakespearean answers though no oh oh oh all right have you ever been arrested yeah yes i'm asking a boston guy if he's ever been arrested i yeah um yeah um yeah but I almost did it on purpose. Like I was in college really drunk and, I guess, acting belligerently. And the cop sat me down on the curb, you know, like they do. And I was not playing ball because I wanted to get arrested. I wanted to get the experience. And I was like singing in my cell.

My friends came. You did. Did you have a cup? Did you have a cup? But I was, like, with my knuckles. And my friends bailed me out. And I was like, no, thanks. I'm going to stay the night because I wanted to get a rain the next day.

Really? Yeah, yeah. That was wild. Getting, like, you know, trucked in a van up to the next town over to the court. With cuffs on. I don't remember if I had cuffs on. I don't think I did. That's pretty cool.

And then who bailed you out after arraignment? Do they set a bail or they let you go on your own? They let me go after. Arraignment, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, no, it was these friends, these theater friends, and they were so disappointed in me. They were like, how did, why, why would you ever, like, they were so shocked. Yeah. The side of this Irish Boston side of me, and I was like, I was like, I had to speak their language, and I was like, I just wanted the experience.

I think it was very valuable. And they were like, oh, okay. Yeah, I'd see that. I see that. That's great. I see that. Yeah, that's good. Who's your best Asian friend?

My best Asian friend, I would say Edith Sue Chen. She lives in New York. She is the planner, New York City planner. She's the urban planner, yeah. No kidding. Yeah. That's like, that's like. Pretty good one, right?

Well, that's, what's his name? had that job um who's the guy that ran new york all those years um abe beam no it's the beach you know the beach out uh past jones beach uh robert oh i know you're talking about um the guy that uh did put all the um bridges and tunnels in put like the b queue in there yeah yeah robert moses that was his job it is a yeah that's it's it's a yeah that's it's it They say it's like one of the most powerful jobs in the city. It's amazing. You control the purse strings on where the money gets spent.

It's amazing. And she's so brilliant. And she like, she was deputy city planner forever until like two mares ago. She was promoted city planner. And now she's, as far as I know, still there. I don't know about the new administration. Well, if she can't get you in Shakespeare in the park, I don't know who can. Right.

You know? She was going to get me up to the top of the. the Chrysler building like the place that people can't go yeah yeah she she loves that i'm so nerdy about new york yeah if you ever want to know about read that book it's a monster it's a big book i you know but i've read it twice it's been in my hands it's had i don't know it is the best really historical nonfiction i've ever read in my life really and that's all i read yeah historical nonfiction yeah far out i've just started getting into that Yeah, it's amazing.

I mean, this guy, he lasted from FDR all the way through the 60s. And he was like, he controlled, Tammany Hall couldn't get him under their control. None of the big mayors get them under their control. He was so powerful. He had such a vision. He just figured out how to get all the money funneling through his department. Yeah. And so incredible.

And so he held all the jobs. Oh, and he's the guy that tore down the Crystal Palace, right? The old Penn Station. Right, right, right, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he put in, and he would put in the Madison Square Garden and that shithole Penn Station. Yeah, and then he built, like, Triborough Bridge and the Long Island Expressway and the BQE and FDR and Frog's Neck and FDR, like, plus all the parks and, yeah. What, who would you want to play you in your biopic?

Well, I assume this would have to start. start be later right no it could be now could be right now i mean assuming you can't play yourself which i don't think they can meet your quote dave kekner's the um i like the easy answer yeah you know uh because i mean but then again you you don't want um you don't necessarily need a guy that looks just like me he just has to shave his head yeah in a really sexy pattern but you guys also have that kind of you have a similar sensibility we do we do we're we're uh we're uh we're uh bigger than we are small. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. He's coming in a few weeks. Oh, he's a good guy. Tell him, I said, hi. Yeah. We, we used to, I don't get it as much anymore, but we used to, like, text each other and be like, oh, hey, this guy I ran into today loves Anker Man. Uh-huh.

Because he thought it was, I was Dave King. And the same. He was like, yeah, some guy loved hot tub time machine. Yeah. Do you feel like you took roles from each? other in it like did oh i'm sure yeah i'm sure we were in the same you know bin i'm in the same sandbox right in the same conversation and whatever casting office i get that with the rock sure so sick of that people like i love you and especially since he like bulked up right yeah yeah yeah yeah

i feel he we don't text each other but like we'll see each other and he'll just look at my biceps and be like yeah he just nods yeah yeah what do you get what's the tattoo you got on your arm uh which one this one yeah oh that's a rose oh that's pretty nice yeah and this is a cardinal why a cardinal it was my uh my sister passed away two years ago that's the first time i've said passed away yeah because i don't like saying passed away right i don't have to i don't have to soften it for you you didn't know my sister she died um and why why What I did was I got this tattoo with the ink was, some of her ashes were mixed into the ink. No way.

So she's in me. Wow. My sister's in me. That's amazing. I told her someday. Someday I will swallow you whole. And this is her blood. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I have a vial. Well, that's beautiful. I love that. It's nice that means something. And I just got that one the other day, too, horseshoe. What's that? I got a little horseshoe. dead i don't know my wife got one so i did too it means nothing me and my uh my whole family got this

one yeah nice the irish uh harp i like it my daughter wanted a tattoo since she was like 12 and i always knew she was going to sneak off and get it so i said look if you wait till you're 18 yeah the whole family will go out we'll get the same tattoo we did the same thing really well actually was like actually kind of on a whim we were down in venice uh for my oldest birthday and we were just trucking around the shittiest part of Venice Beach, you know, and, and there was this tattoo, we'd walk by one of those shitty tattoo parlors, maybe, and they were like, and they were like, hey, we should all get a tattoo. And I didn't get one out of solidarity because my 16-year-old at the time wasn't old enough to get one. Okay. But the guy that did these, all my tattoos basically,

except for this is he'll he'll give her a tattoo so we might go get something yeah we got it on her 18th birthday we all got it on day she got hers here my son got his there my wife got hers there because she didn't really want one but it's there yeah she didn't want one there for the right people yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah me and her lover and her lovers i go on the road yeah um what tv role or film role would you most have liked to have gotten Uh, Jesus, all of them. All of them. Did you audition for one and went like, man, I fucking want this, and then it turned into something?

No, no, not really. I mean, I auditioned for like, what was it, 40-year-old virgin, and I thought I killed it. For the lead? No, no, no, no. For his boss at the store. Oh, yeah, yeah. It was Jane Lynch. Right, right.

And so that always happens to me. I'll see someone, whoever did get cast, I'll be like, oh, well, that's, they were in a different way, you know. So is there a role I would have liked to have played? I don't know. You know, I mean, this doesn't count. This is cheap because I want to say Hamlet because I've already aged out of Hamlet. So I would love to have played Hamlet in whatever pick a film, Hamlet film, in that. in that right love it all right final question then we're going to let you go okay i'm ready

when's the last time you really apologized oh my god i mean probably this morning i uh no it was last night it was last night and it was an add d thing i my poor fucking wife it was stupid this is a stupid story but she was just like tomorrow because it's my um my youngest's birthday today, turning 17. And we do this thing in the morning. Like, you know, she comes out and there's presents on the table, and we put signs, funny signs on the window. And she was like, your job is to order breakfast.

Now, 845 is going to be too early. I need it there by 9.9.30. 915 is perfect. But if you get it there by 9, that's fine. Like too much information and my medication. had worn off hours ago and so I was like uh-huh uh-huh and I was doing a jigsaw puzzle at the time so I was like more into that and I was like okay so what so 830 I just heard the first thing she said and she was like and then she talks to me like I'm a child and says no I said and I was like

Oh, fuck, I'm so sorry. I mean, and you can't really claim disability. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, I know. You know, it's... There is a window, though, like, I feel like, I say to my wife, business is conducted between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. Yeah.

Don't give me heavy stuff after that. I just can't. That's smart. But I think the key is being married to an ADHD person is you really have to know their limitations and not judge them like they're a normal person. See, my wife, we were watching a show the other day and somebody had ADHD and, or I don't even know what the context was,

but their partner found it endearing. And I looked at Sandy and she was like, what's interesting? I was like, right? Isn't that interesting? Try it on. Maybe give it a spin around the bullet. lock. See if you like it. Because fucking condescension is not working for me.

There's such pressure to hear every word she says. Like I said at the very beginning, she gives a lot of information, man. Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. Listen. I'm a disappointment to her. Rob Cordy. Yeah. Oh, is it a light. You have a show that's coming out. When is audacity coming out? I think in March. I don't know if there's a set date. Yeah. March. Yeah. All right. On AMC.

Well, we'll give it a shout out when it comes out. Maybe we'll have Zach on before that. Yeah. And he can talk about it. I just was at his house a couple weeks ago. And then also he was in this fool. His house in Vancouver? No, the one on the east side.

Okay. So that's it, man. That's it. I mean, how else do you, I mean, to be. continue yeah let's do uh part you've probably been on six times seven at least more than that maybe at least maybe 10 times yeah i mean i've been doing this for 15 years so i've you do it usually every year yeah yeah yeah i mean it wasn't 15 years ago but it was close yeah so i might i might have double digits say how to your brother all right thanks i i can't wait to ask him about that

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