Fitzdog Radio - Solo - Episode 1044

Episode Date: March 5, 2024

Solo episode. Remembering Richard Lewis, more on the great Dave Attell, my trip to Portland, the 15th anniversary of Carolla, and a call from my mom. See me out on the road February-May!  TOUR DATES Feb 22-24: Helium (Portland, OR) March 1: The Rec Room (Huntington Beach, CA) March 8-10: The Comedy Store (La Jolla, CA) March 16: Hollywood Improv (Los Angeles, CA) April 3: The Studio @ Mizner Park (Boca Raton, FL) April 4-6: Sidesplitters (Tampa, FL) May 31: Emelin Theatre (Mamaroneck, NY)  Fitzdog Radio is brought to you by BetterHelp

Hi everybody, welcome to the podcast. I'm happy to talk to you solo. Love my guests, but they're a distraction from what I want to talk about. I don't want to service them. I can't say that. I had David Tell on last week, and man, that was fun. He is not only a dear friend and a kind person, but he continues year in and year out to be the funniest motherfucker out there. Just a killer. And the comedy world, you know, we talk about legends and this past year, yesterday, actually, we lost a legend, a true icon, a guy who was a voice in comedy from, I think he started in the late seventies, maybe even the mid seventies. the great Richard Lewis, who I was lucky enough as a teenager, I spent a lot of time as a teenager in the clubs in New York City, going to the improv

and the comedy cellar and the comic strip. And a few times, Richard Lewis came in and he came in like, it was like I had grown up watching comedy on the Tonight Show and it was great. It wasn't cool. You know, I didn't see a lot of cool comedy. I love Bob Newhart. I hadn't really gotten into, I guess Carlin, I hadn't really gotten into, I guess, Carlin. I hadn't gotten that into yet. And so when I started going to the clubs and I saw Richard Belzer, believe it or not, was the fucking coolest guy. And Richard Lewis was similar, but Richard Lewis, he was vulnerable and he was honest. And he talked about his neuroses in a way that like, honest and he talked about his neuroses in a way that like he was like a cool Woody Allen he had the same kind of Jewish neuroses and introspection and honesty um but Woody Allen was a nerd and Richard Lewis was a fucking stud he was good looking and suave and the black suits and i don't know i just i see so many comics that i just have

will carry on in he will carry on in the voices of many comedians and he you know uh jake johansson Mark Maron Andy Kindler for sure and nobody's copying him but you can't not take something away when you really watch this guy a lot or watched him a lot I'm so glad he went out on top with Curb Your Enthusiasm it really showed him

in his best light and with one of his best friends, Larry David, they were born three days apart in the same hospital in Brooklyn. And I guess they ended up going to the same summer camp and a lot of coincidences. But I just remember growing up watching him on Letterman and hearing him on Howard Stern. And he talked about sobriety,

which for me was difficult, getting sober as a comedian. And I think he was an inspiration for me. I got to hang out with him a few times at the Friars Club in New York. And just a great guy. A good friend to other comics. So rest in peace. God bless. Thank you for your gifts.

Sharing them bravely. and for so many years, Richard Lewis. All right. Anyway, speaking of legendary comics, I will, I am still around. Richard Lewis is gone. I have picked up all of his dates. He was supposed to be in La Jolla at the Comedy Store March 8th through 10th. I will be there instead. Then at the Hollywood Improv, the St. Patrick's Day show that Richard Lewis did for 15 years. I will be doing it this year. March 16th, Boca Raton, Misner Park on April 3rd. Tampa Bay side splitters April 4th through the 6th.

Then I'll be in Mimarinick, New York. Go to FitzDawg.com. Get yourself some tickets. Come out and see some live comedy. And yeah, I talked about Atel. I got a nice note. Somebody said, Mark from Texas. I agree with you.

Atel is the best working comic in the country. I saw him once in San Antonio, and he walked a bachelorette party and described their outfits on the way out as if he were announcing a fashion show for nerds. My friends still quote it from time to time. Coming down the runway now, TJ Maxx, and she is really putting the Maxx into the title.

And the TJ stands for Tijuana. Nice. Nice. Yeah, Attell was the guy. I mean, it was no accident that he ended up with this show, Insomni that was so big that was so popular so completely different than any show anybody it's nobody had done travel drinking shows before i really think he was he got ahead of the curve on all of these kind of like going to the dark side shows and i think it was way underappreciated i I don't know. I probably did four seasons or something, but he lived that life. I mean, he's been sober a long time, but that dude fucking drank and did blow.

I'm not telling any secrets. He talks about it. Big Jagermeister guy. Every time you hung out with him, you were closing the bar. 4 a.m., kicked out, loud, you know, a lot of scenes. I can remember going to the strip clubs. We'd go to the strip club, and as he walked in, the door guys were like, hey, Dave. Hey, Dave. He'd walk in,

the dancers were all waving at him. Like, he logged some run? There was a place next to Caroline's. I feel like saying it was Runway 69, but I could be wrong. It was on Broadway and like 51st Street. What else? Oh, I know. I was in Oregon. I got to hang out with a kid who was like one of my best friends Brian Van Horn who's the greatest fucking dude just the sweetest guy we had so many adventures oh I think I talked about him on the podcast a little bit

but um but I was thinking about being in he just hates all these fucking drug addict homeless people. And he's a sweet guy. And I think he's a loving, he's a very loving guy. But there's only so much you can put up with in Portland. It's bad. I mean, you can't walk 20 feet without seeing an apocalyptic vampire-like person walking down. And it's sad. It re it's really tough to watch. And I think the whole experiment of let's legalize drugs and maybe that'll maybe taking the

stigma away from it will free people up to realize that they know, that didn't work. Did not work. Experiment gone wrong. And, uh, you know, now, now it's like, uh, I don't know. It's, it's people that I can't imagine what their families are going through. Cause you see young guys and young women sitting on the street fucking barefoot. And it's like, Jesus. And then I was also talking about, oh, in Oregon, it's the last place that has assisted suicide. And which I really always pictured as assisted suicide as just being like your buddy goes, hey, I'm done, man.

I'm fucking done. And you just kind of walk in the woods with a gun like old Yeller. You go in the woods, one guy comes out. Pop, pop, done. But that's not it. Apparently assisted suicide is like, it's not of mice and men.

It's more like you're in a hospice and it's all sanctioned and approved. You know, it's a big process. You can't just kill somebody. Otherwise, there would be a lot of people in court going like, what? She said, I lost my keys. I want to kill myself. She was begging me. This guy's been married for 28 years. She didn't want to be around anymore.

So I thought about hospice and how sad it is. I've always thought hospice is just the saddest thing in the world until my father-in-law was on hospice and I spent some time there. And let me tell you something. If you have to go out, you know, it could either be you're fucking sucked into an undertow in the ocean and you're slapping at the water and you can't breathe and you're panicked. And I don't know what happens once you go under the water, but it cannot be pleasant. You could get in a car accident where your last moments are screaming and your head smashing into the wind. I mean, there's so many ways to die that are getting a cancer. I don't know, but hospice, if you're just old, what's better than

laying on one of those nice fucking thick beds where you got the remote, put your feet up, back down, ass up, however you want to lay, And you can adjust it. You got a TV. You just fucking watch a TV. You got all your loved ones coming by every day telling you, they're saying goodbye. They're telling you how much they love you. They're looking in your soul and saying things that for whatever it is about the human condition, we don't tell people from the bottom of our souls how we feel about them. I don't know why. Maybe that's a takeaway from this podcast today. Go tell somebody how much they mean to you and how it's going to be to ever live without them.

Do that. That's your homework. So you're surrounded by that. That's your homework. So you're surrounded by that. And you got a little clicker in your hand administering morphine as much. It's all you can eat morphine while you just watch reruns of South Park or whatever the fuck you're into at that age. Matlock, maybe murder. She wrote some of the old ones. Maybe get into a soap opera. Who gives a shit? You're on morphine. You're having a blast. maybe get into a soap opera who gives a shit you're on morphine you're having a blast um i don't know it's like you get spoon fed how about that you don't have to fucking chew just spoon feeding you kind of beautiful go go gently into that light

you know and then the doctor goes one day i I, this, I forget this, this happened to one of my friend's parents. They went into hospice and then about four months later, the doctors were like, Hey, you're good. You can leave. What? Leave the clicker with the more? No, I'm not going fucking anywhere. And they're like, no, you got to get out. You got to get, no, no. I see the light. I can see it. I'm looking at the light. I'm almost there. You know, I mean, even if they, they should offer this recreationally, you can do a week of hospice at any age. You show up to a comfortable hospital room, nice view, good light, sweet nurses, sponge baths, matlock. I mean, it would cost probably the same as going to Disneyland or a spa.

Just charge me for that. I don't need to go to Disneyland. For the same money, I can see Mickey and Pluto in my head on the wall. Mickey and Pluto are talking to me. So what else happened in Oregon? Sorry, I'm a little loose today. I didn't do a tremendous amount of preparation for this podcast, but I want to talk more about Oregon.

I was up there, and I don't know why I didn't, I didn't have time to tell the story because the David tell podcast, I wanted to get to it and not over talk because who the fuck wants to hear me when David tell can come on. So wait, hold on one second. I just got a text. I got to read.

Okay. So I go my, I slept on this pillow that was like concrete. I woke up the next morning and my neck was just locked. It was like, could not move it. Pain shooting down my shoulders. Couldn't get any work done. So I had to go to morning radio. On the way back, I noticed that there was a spa, a massage place next to the hotel.

So I called the number, and a woman answers. And she says, I said, yeah, I'd like to get a one-hour massage. And she goes, okay, we have opening at 4 o'clock. And I said, okay, that sounds fine. And she goes, I should tell you a therapist, she blind. I said, the therapist is blind? Yeah, she blind, but she could see a little bit. Okay, she could see a little bit?

That sounds good. I'm fine with that. I'm sure she's memorized the human body. And I had actually heard about this. I'm fine with that. I'm sure she's memorized the human body. And I had actually heard about this. I had heard that in Thailand, massage is almost exclusively done by blind people because it's a job that they can do. And so they train them.

It's kind of this beautiful social experiment where blind people do massage. So I'm thinking, all right, she's probably Thai. And so I show up at four o'clock and it's the craziest setup. It's like an office building. Usually you walk into a spa and there's like, you know, a Buddha fountain and some rose petals and a couch with some magazines about spas that you can visit. There's, you know, bad Asian music. Ding, ding, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong, dong. You know, who asked for that?

That's not relaxing anybody. And all that, but it's nothing like that. I get buzzed in and I have to go to the second floor in an elevator. I get out. It's not soft and gentle. It is a linoleum-floored, metal-walled office. And she walks me down the hall, and I look at her, and she's looking at me, and she's very plump is a nice way of saying it. And she's standing in the hallway facing at me,

and no glasses, no dark glasses, but the eyes are pretty much closed. And she waves at me to follow her. And so we start walking down this dark hallway. It felt like a horror movie. And we're walking down the hallway and she has no cane, but she is waddling with her feet very wide. And I'm like, why is she, why is she walking so

wide? And then I realized, oh, she's feeling for the wall. So she doesn't hit her head. She's, she's like feeling it out with her feet. And I'm following her as I start walking like that. And we get to the room and we go in and she says, okay, she was not Asian at all. And she goes, okay, I'll leave the room. You take off your clothes and get under the sheet. And I'm looking at her like, I don't think you have to leave the room. I mean, you're not going to see anything, right? I mean, so she leaves the room. I mean, you're not going to see anything, right? I mean,

so she leaves the room. I take my clothes off. I lay under the sheet and she comes in and she starts rubbing, but it was literally the worst massage I've ever had in my life. She was not putting any pressure. You want more pressure? Yeah, more pressure. Nothing. Just flimsy hands on my back in like just in small, airy patches of my back. And, and she kept using oil. Like she used a whole fucking bottle of oil all over. I was soaked in oil, which I fucking hate. And then she, and then she's rubbing and then she goes, uh, let me go get my instrument so I don't wear out my fingers. Wear out your fingers? No, my gadget. Let me get my gadget.

I don't want to wear out my fingers. So she leaves the room. I got my face down on the pillow, so I don't know what it is. But suddenly there's a rubbing on my neck from what can only be described as like, you remember those, I think, what do they call them? You'd put it on your steering wheel in the 80s so your car didn't get stolen in the 90s. Not the hammer. Anyway, it felt like that. It was like a big metal thing. Did not feel good at all. And as she's rubbing, my arm is at my side and I feel her belly laying across my arm. It was just a soft, hot, weird underbelly. It was horrible. And then she,

so anyway, it's this bad massage and then it ends and I go outside and my clothes are sticking to me from all the oil. My neck is maybe worse than when I started. And then I pay her and I was paying cash. So I gave her, I think it was, it was $80, it was $85. And I gave her $120. I gave her six twenties and, and I'm forgetting I'm paying her in cash and she's blind. So, but she see little bit. So she held the twenties up to her eyes, literally like a half an inch from her eyes. And she just scanned her eyes back and forth on the bills. And I was like, I'm so sorry. I go, trust me, those really are 20s. I wouldn't rip you off. And she's like, no, no, no, I know. I can kind of see. So yeah, so that was my massage.

not good not good um i'll tell you what is good better help this show is sponsored by better help i talk about this product quite a bit on this show they've been a sponsor for years and i absolutely believe in them 100 i've used them better help is uh it's online therapy. And it is, you know, look, if you had an extra hour in your day, you know, what's the first thing you would do? Would you take a nap? Would you read a book? Would you TikTok it? We all wish we had more time. But time for what? If time was unlimited, how would you use it?

The best way to squeeze that special thing into your schedule is know what's important and make it a priority. Therapy can help you find what matters to you so you can do more of it. I've focused on this a lot lately. I hate to say it. I get info from TikTok sometimes. Sometimes people inspire me about organizing, but therapy is a way of really locking it in. really locking it in. I've talked about using behavioral therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy. That's what I learned with my therapist. And there were homework assignments. I had a notebook because it wasn't just one day a week. You can text your therapist anytime. And I'm telling you, she got back to me immediately. By the way, if you don't like the therapist, you can switch. There's no problem. They don't care. Find somebody that's right for you. But you do an intake form and they learn all about you and they pair you up with somebody who's appropriate online and it will make your life more organized.

You'll be more in control. Learn to make time for what makes you happy with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash FitzDawg today. Get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash FitzDawg today. Get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash FitzDawg. All right. Mental health, people. I mean, that's a struggle so many of us have, is we all have ADHD now. I mean, it's really weird because when I was a kid, it was called, this kid's hyperactive. We would call them hyperactive.

And then there was, well, no, it started off with this kid's stupid. My grandfather, this is the craziest thing. I got my grandfather's birth certificate because I'm applying for my Irish citizenship. And it lists his name, parents, siblings, which he had 12. And then there was a column to the right that said you had to check off. One said imbecile and one said, oh, I wish one was imbecile. And I can't remember if it was retarded or moron, but there were different levels that the baby was supposed to be diagnosed, the baby diagnosed as. They didn't check either of his. Florence McCarthy was a sharp guy.

But anyway, we all think we got something now and we do. I mean, the landscape has changed. We are all on our goddamn, but I was just on my phone during this podcast. I'm waiting for a message and I looked at it. And it's changed the way our brains work. I think we are all juggling two and three jobs. We are all moving more. There's more distraction. The news cycle is faster. So how do you focus? And I would tell you right now,

meditation is the answer. I sit down every day for 20 minutes, 20 minutes out of your life, and just listen to your breathing. Notice your thoughts. Try to drop into your chair. Feel your breath. Clear your mind. And I'm telling you, 20 minutes later, you are free. It doesn't last forever, but a big chunk of your day. You're supposed to meditate twice a day. I don't do that. But it's like prayer. I mean, there's a reason why people have prayed in every major religion. You know, it's like we need something to keep us regular. It used to be you prayed every day because your schedule. Now everyone's schedule is different every single day. There's no commitment to, you know, nobody commits to you.

Jobs, the corporate, so many fucking Harvard MBAs have come out and become consultants and they come into businesses and they tell you by the numbers how to save money so the shareholders can make more. And it's always at the expense of the worker. It's always about, you know, the new thing now is like nobody gets a full-time job. Everything's permalance. They will cut your hours from 40 to 35 so that they're not responsible for keeping you on even. Anyway, what is this? What's this podcast?

Talking about prayer. I used to pray. I think maybe that's why I can meditate so easily. I used to pray. I think maybe that's why I can meditate so easily. I used to pray. I used to like priests. You know, priests got a bad reputation. And there are amazing priests out there that really are in the priesthood to do good. I blame the bureaucracy of the Catholic Church for the way priests... Oh, wait, my mom's on the phone. Let's talk to my mom for a second.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Greg. How you doing? I'm good. I'm recording my podcast, but I wanted to answer the phone and say hello. Oh, okay. I don't want to stop your podcast. Call me when you're finished. Do you have anything you want to talk about? Sure. You.

Did I do something wrong? Oh, no. But I know you'll call back if it's about you. All right. So we got a lot of plans for this week, right? Oh, well, yeah. I think there's a couple of things you'll enjoy. Yes. Oh, good.

All right. I love you. All right. Love you. Bye. Visiting my mom on Sunday in two days. And that's why I'm recording a little early so I don't have to do a podcast next week.

My mom's in Florida, and I usually go down and spend a week with her every year. And we just hang out. We do a lot of crossword puzzles, take walks, do a little shopping. There's a couple of restaurants we like. And then there's this bar that she likes that plays music from the fifties and we dance. So we'll do that. Well, I don't dance. She dances. And then, I don't know. That sounded

concerned. I'm concerned that she wants to talk about something. I can always tell from her tone that there's something that's up. You know, when it's your mom, you know, you can tell subtle little things. Just the way you say hello. If her tone is, if it's high energy, I know everything's good. If it's a little restrained, we get to talk about something. Anyway, I can't wait to see her. I fucking love my mom. She is just such a joy to be around. She's so sweet and she's so funny. We laugh a lot. So that's this week. Yeah, so priests are some of the best people.

It's the scoutmasters. Those are the guys, I mean, priests we trust because they were literally held up as being better than us. They are agents of God. They are ordained. They are celibate. They have taken a vow. And we just kind of trusted that, hey, what's better than having our kids be exposed to like the best people? If you're Catholic, you truly believe this. That's why it was such a gut punch. But Scoutmasters, how do we not see that coming? Middle-aged guys going like, hey, I want to take your kids in the woods. Guys wearing those stupid little shorts,

like grown men with a handkerchief around their neck, like, come on. Like grown men with a handkerchief around their neck. Like, come on. Who's buying that? Going to teach your kids stuff in the woods. Sure you are. See, crown of your dick hanging out of those little shorts already. You sicko.

Sharing a tent. Checking on each kid. Freaks. I think it was as much abuse from the Boy Scouts as it was from the Catholic Church. I wonder if priests ever took kids camping. That would be a real double red flag. Yeah. Anyway, I'm editing my special. I'm hating the editing editing process it's just so hard to watch yourself do the same jokes over and over again and uh you get very critical of yourself i showed it i wanted to get notes from people to cut it down a little bit i showed it to like seven or eight of my friends that i respect good comedy writers good comedians and uh i gotta tell you people feedback's good nobody

had any cuts everybody's like it's i wouldn't lose anything everybody's like it's all good if you if you absolutely with a gun to my head i had to cut something and like a couple people mentioned one bit that i am cutting but everybody loved it so i'm i'm over the moon i'm so excited but everybody loved it. So I'm over the moon. I'm so excited that the feedback is good because I didn't know. I mean, you know, the crowd was great. That helps.

So anyway, that we'll be done editing in a week and then we'll figure out where it's going to go. Netflix right now is booked for all of 2024. So the soon, even if they bought it, it wouldn't come out for a year. So I don't know if I want to do that. I think I might rather just put it out on YouTube directly or something like that. So I'll let you know, but it should be out by May. That's the plan.

Got some email. This guy, John L. Iden said on this week's episode, you said you have almost 200 appearances on a high profile shows that routinely launch careers into the stratosphere. IE Corolla, Corolla just told me I did Corolla this week. It was his 15th year. It was his 15th anniversary show to the day. And I happen to be on. And they were listing statistics. I don't know if I mentioned this already. And I am the most frequent guest in the history of the show. I've been on 96 times.

And I did Stern over 50 times. I did Rogan 23 times. Anyway, he said, you lament the fact that you've not seen the same results. As a longtime listener who was first introduced to you by Corolla, I think you're experiencing the full effect of the boost. Literally, millions of people have heard your guest appearances, and a small fraction of that audience is what's made your meteoric rise to the middle possible. I'm a huge fan of the show. Appreciate all the effort you put in every week. Keep up the great work.

Well, thank you. I needed to hear that. Compare and despair, people. I think sometimes I look at some of these comics that are like showing you videos of them on stage at an arena or, you know, in race cars. I just, that's not me. Relax. Got a nice following. I get to tour the clubs I want. Get to do this podcast with guests that I love. Don't compare,

Greg. Thank you for that lovely note, John. M, they just list themselves as M. This was in regards to my last podcast. I talked about how an electrician had ripped me off. He goes, always hire Latino electricians, plumbers, et cetera. They're the most trustworthy and in most cases won't rip you off. Never hire a white guy. They are the worst. Well, M, this guy was Latino. He was from Mexico

and a very nice guy. When he came in the first time to look at it, I made him tea and he, me, him and my wife sat down at the table and we just talked about our families and got to know each other. And he was a very sweet guy. He just happened to charge me about four times what the job was worth. Anyway, he goes on to say, I went on a movie date with Madonna. I talked about Madonna on the last podcast, and later made out with her at a vacant apartment she was staying at around Broadway and 6th Street. She rehearsed next to my band at a popular music rehearsal building in New York, just across from the Port Authority bus station on 8th and 40th Street. Her original songs were simple and ordinary with nice melodies. And you are correct. She was very good looking, but not a stunner.

She had a knack of sleeping with men who were either really good songwriters and or producers. Like Elvisvis she gave herself songwriting credit because she intimidated and coerced them to get coerced them to get her way and the talented songwriter knew he could make money if madonna recorded his song her english accent was embarrassing but i guess not to her my point is what the fuck are people around the world thinking i'm concerned about the human race m um i don't think there is a sixth street and broadway i think is there oh maybe there is okay i'm thinking that washington square park was in the way but it's not i think that's because Broadway cuts east

of... Anyway, the point is, I'm so psyched you made out with Madonna. That is really something that you can carry with you for the rest of your life. It means you were in a cool place at the cool times. That means you were probably a cool guy. She's probably a really good kisser. I would guess. He didn't describe it. I hope you'll get back to me about She's probably a really good kisser. I would guess. He didn't describe it. I hope you'll get back to me about that. I hope the story's true. I think it is.

Why would you make that up? My friend met Drew Barrymore at a club, and they flirted, and then she wanted to go to a different club that was across town. So they got in a taxi together, and my friend held hands with Drew Barrymore in the taxi. And then they got to the other club

and they got to the front, you know, the velvet rope for the club and the bouncer waved Drew Barrymore through and stopped my friend at the door and he couldn't go in. And that was the capital E-N-D period of the story. Oh, isn't that a shame? Drew Barrymore.

She was, she is very cool. I know she's fucking weird. And there's, she's cringy at times. But I also think she had a pretty weird childhood. And she turned out to be an interesting, fun person with, I think, a good moral sense about her. A little annoying, but I love her. I did her show during the pandemic. She has a talk show, and they wanted me to do stand-up, but there was no studio audience,

and I think everybody was doing it from home. stand-up, but there was no studio audience, and I think everybody was doing it from home. So they sent over these two guys, and they set up a green screen in this room, in this bonus room of my house, and a mic stand and a mic, and I did stand-up comedy to a camera with a green screen behind me, and then they added in audience laughter later, and they put it up online. And it is the worst thing maybe I've ever done in my life. It was such a mistake. It looks so corny and cheesy. I can't even describe to you. So that's my only connection to her.

I doubt she even watched it. This one comes from Peter Hawny from Seattle he has an overheard oh no no no I'm sorry this is Mark from Arlington Virginia who has an overheard quote so on the ride home I heard a love ballad

from the 80s that the bingo guy neglected love bites by Def Leppard I'd probably like someone to bang me to that song. Huh. Love Bites by Def... I'm thinking of Love Hurts, but that's not Def Leppard. I don't know how Love Bites go, but it's good to have songs you want to bang to. you want to bang to. And my go-to is I put on Lou Rawls.

I like some Lou Rawls. I never get tired of it. And it's kind of like a Pavlovian thing. When my wife hears Lou Rawls, she knows it's about to go down. When she sees my tongue is blue and Lou Rawls is on, it's time to take the clothes off. It means the kids are going to be out.

It's time. I'll try Love Bites by Leopard. I don't think I'm going to like it, though. I can't imagine making love to Def Leopard. I lost. I didn't lose. I took the virginity. That sounds wrong. I don't like didn't lose. I took the virginity. That sounds wrong.

I don't like how that sounds. I, um, will be the woke way of saying that. I participated in the lifting of the virginity of a woman. And we were teenagers and we were listening to Who's Next. And I always think of that album. And then Led Zeppelin 4 always reminds me of a girl I had sex with in the Poconos one year on a school trip. Yeah. Finally, Peter Haney from Seattle. First, thank you specifically for recommending the Heather Cox Richardson newsletter.

Recommend that to everybody if you want to hear a really good breakdown of the news and how it relates to history. It's really fucking the clarity and the intelligence of this woman. Go to her website and get signed up on the Heather Cox, C-O-X Richardson newsletter. I value historical context of current events,

and I look forward to it daily. Number two, I just started Antkind. When Mike said it was laugh out loud funny almost every page, I'll admit I was skeptical. He's not wrong. I am laughing involuntarily at some of the things Kaufman writes, enjoying this immensely. Yeah, Antkind, A-N-T kind, it's a long read, but it is

worth it. It's a mind trip. It's like you're tripping. And then he has a correction. He said the term cis and trans come from chemistry and refer to simply different orientations of the same chemical structure. Stereoisomers each have the same atoms, but differ in how they are oriented in three-dimensional space. Huh. I did not follow that, but thank you. And I think that'll do it. Short and sweet, little 40-minute solo podcast. I hope you enjoyed it.

I want to thank you guys for listening. I want to thank Midcoast Media for producing and editing the show. They do a great job. They're working on some clips I did in Oregon, in Portland. We're going to put out some stand-up clips. I got four or five of them and need to do more of that. And I will see you soon at a club near you. Don't forget our sponsor, betterhelp.com slash FitzDawg at 10% off.

And we'll talk to you soon. God bless America.